this i believe personal essay examples

This I Believe Essay

This i believe essay generator.

In the realm of personal expression and introspection, the “This I Believe” essay stands as a testament to the power of individual beliefs and narratives. Rooted in the context of personal experiences and convictions, these essays provide a platform for individuals to articulate their core principles, values, and perspectives. Through the use of various literary devices and elements , authors craft narratives that illuminate their unique outlook on life. In this article, we will delve into the definition of a This I Believe essay, present a step-by-step guide on how to craft one, address common questions, and explore the essence of this expressive form.

1. High School This I Believe Essay Example

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2. Sample This I Believe Essay Example

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3. Student This I Believe Essay Example

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4. Middle School This I Believe Essay Example

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5. This I Believe Essay Topic Example

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6. This I Believe Essay Life Example

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7. This I Believe Essay Overview Example

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8. This I Believe Essay Steps Example

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9. This I Believe Essay Friendship Example

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10. Sports This I Believe Essay Example

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11. This I Believe Essay Rubric Example

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12. This I Believe Personal Essay Example

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13. This I Believe Essay Writing Example

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14. This I Believe Essay Statement Example

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15. God This I Believe Essay Example

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16. This I Believe Essay Brief Example

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17. This I Believe Essay Thesis Statement Example

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18. This I Believe Essay Speech Example

19. this i believe essay college example.

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20. This I Believe Essay Lesson Plan Example

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21. This I Believe Essay Music Example

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22. Faith This I Believe Essay Example

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23. Reflection This I Believe Essay Example

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24. This I Believe Immigration Essay Example

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25. This I Believe Love Essay Example

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26. This I Believe Dream Essay Example

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27. This I Believe Power Essay Example

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28. This I Believe Essay Prompt Example

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29. This I Believe Essay Peer Review Example

30. Elements of This I Believe Essay Example

31. This I Believe Essay Transcript Example

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What is a This I Believe Essay?

A This I Believe essay is a written composition that encapsulates an individual’s personal beliefs, values, and philosophies. Often reflective and intimate in nature, these essays offer readers insight into the author’s subjective understanding of the world. They provide an opportunity to explore the depth of one’s convictions, making use of various literary devices and characteristics to convey a sense of authenticity and sincerity. Through the exploration of individual experiences and convictions, these essays aim to connect with readers on a personal and emotional level.

How to Write a This I Believe Essay

Step 1: choose your core belief.

At the heart of your essay lies your core belief. Choose a belief that holds personal significance and represents your worldview. This belief should be something you feel passionately about and can articulate convincingly.

Step 2: Develop a Compelling Context

Create a context for your belief by providing background information. Explain why this belief is important to you and how it has shaped your experiences and outlook on life. A relatable context will engage your readers and make your essay more relatable.

Step 3: Employ Effective Literary Devices

Incorporate literary devices to enhance the impact of your essay. Metaphors, similes, and anecdotes can help convey your belief in a vivid and relatable manner. Consider how these devices can strengthen your narrative and connect with your audience emotionally.

Step 4: Craft a Strong Conclusion

Summarize your belief and its significance in your life, reinforcing the message you want to leave with your readers. Reflect on the journey you’ve taken them on and inspire them to reflect on their own beliefs.

Can I write about a commonly held belief?

Absolutely. While it’s important to maintain authenticity, even exploring a cliché belief can be powerful when you provide a fresh perspective or personal context. Your unique experiences and reflections make your essay stand out.

Can I use proper nouns in my essay?

Yes, proper nouns can add specificity and authenticity to your essay. Mentioning specific places, people, or events can help ground your beliefs in real-world experiences.

How can I make my essay more impactful?

Focus on using strong verbs to convey emotions and actions. Instead of saying “I felt sad,” consider saying “I crumbled under the weight of sorrow.” This adds depth to your writing and engages the reader’s senses.

In the realm of personal expression, the This I Believe essay shines as a vehicle for exploring one’s deepest convictions. By carefully selecting beliefs, weaving context, employing literary devices, and crafting strong conclusions, authors can create narratives that resonate with readers on a profound level. Through the power of words, these essays bridge the gap between individual experiences and universal truths, reminding us of the strength and diversity of human beliefs. So, take the plunge into introspection and share your beliefs with the world through the art of the This I Believe essay.

Text prompt

• Instructive
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Write a This I Believe Essay about the power of kindness in everyday life

Discuss in a This I Believe Essay how overcoming challenges has shaped your character

53 This I Believe Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

🏆 best this i believe topic ideas & essay examples, 📌 most interesting this i believe topics to write about, ❓ this i believe questions.

• This I Believe: What Goes Around Comes Around – Essay I never did my homework and it became so hard for me to catch up with the rest in class. This was the time when I remembered the words of my grandmother “only fools rush […]
• Art and Creativity to Solve Problems I believe that art is the deepest expression of the society and the beliefs it underscores. I believe in the unity of the human race and bringing an end to racism and human trafficking.
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39 “This I Believe” Essay

The history of ‘this i believe’.

by Tanya Matthews

This I Believe is an exciting media project that invites individuals from all walks of life to write about and discuss the core beliefs that guide their daily lives. They share these statements in weekly broadcasts on NPR’s Morning Edition and All Things Considered .

The series is based on the 1950’s radio program This I Believe , hosted by acclaimed journalist Edward R. Murrow. Each day, some 39-million Americans gathered by their radios to hear compelling essays from the likes of Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Robinson, Helen Keller and Harry Truman as well as corporate leaders, cab drivers, scientists and secretaries — anyone able to distill into a few minutes the guiding principles by which they lived. Their words brought comfort and inspiration to a country worried about the Cold War, McCarthyism and racial division.

Eventually, the radio series became a cultural phenomenon. Eighty-five leading newspapers printed a weekly column based on This I Believe . A collection of essays published in 1952 sold 300,000 copies — second only to the Bible that year. The series was translated and broadcast around the globe on the Voice of America. A book of essays translated into Arabic sold 30,000 copies in just three days.

[The NPR series This I Believe can be read and heard here . In addition, the website and organization This I Believe houses thousands of essays written by famous people, such as the ones mentioned above, and everyday people like you and me.]

As a college student in 2020, you are faced with turbulent politics, socioeconomic issues, and ethical dilemmas that will challenge you to take a stand and contribute to the local, national, and global conversation around you. The purpose of this writing task is not to persuade you to agree on the same beliefs. Rather, it is to encourage you to begin the much more difficult task of developing respect for beliefs different from your own. Fifty years ago, Edward R. Murrow’s project struck such a chord with millions of Americans. It can do so again today…with you.

Video Resources for Generating Ideas

Dan gediman on writing a “this i believe essay”.

Read Cecelia Munoz’s essay “Getting Angry Can Be a Good Thing” referred to in the previous video here .

“This I Believe” Essay with Animation

“This I Believe” Essay Ideas

Prewriting Activity

1) analyze others’ statements.

Consider the following statements, written in response to the question What Have You Learned About Life? Highlight any sentences that resonate with you. Talk about them with a partner or group, explaining why. 1. I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. – Age 9 2. I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. – Age 14 3. I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. – Age 15 4. I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. – Age 39 5. I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it. – Age 42 6. I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a little note. – Age 44 7. I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. – Age 46 8. I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. – Age 48 9. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die. – Age 53 10. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. – Age 58 11. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. – Age 62 12. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. – Age 66 13. I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I’ve seen several. – Age 75 14. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. – Age 82 15. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch—holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. – Age 85 16. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. – Age 92

2) Compose Your Own Statement

Write down a sentence that expresses what YOU have learned about life. Maybe it is similar to one of the statements above; maybe it’s completely different. Whatever it is, write it down.

3) Freewrit e

Now free-write about your sentence. Include at least two examples / experiences that you have had that support why you think this way.

Personal Statement/Philosophy: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why do you believe in this statement? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Name two experiences that you had that would support the statement: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What does this say about yourself or your personality? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ After your life experience, how have you come to the conclusion that this should be your statement? How have your beliefs changed, if at all? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How has the event effected your relationship with a person, place, or object? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How does your statement apply to you today? (How you view yourself & society) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SAMPLE STUDENT ESSAYS

Sample #1: america’s beauty is in its diversity.

written by Alaa El-Saad,  high school student,  as heard on NPR’s Tell Me More (2009)

America is built on the idea of freedom, and there is no exception for Muslim women. I believe in the freedom of religion and speech. But mostly, I believe it’s OK to be different, and to stand up for who and what you are. So I believe in wearing the hijab.

The hijab is a religious head covering, like a scarf. I am Muslim and keeping my head covered is a sign of maturity and respect toward my religion and to Allah’s will. To be honest, I also like to wear it to be different. I don’t usually like to do what everyone else is doing. I want to be an individual, not just part of the crowd. But when I first wore it, I was also afraid of the reaction that I’d get at school.

I decided on my own that sixth grade was the time I should start wearing the hijab. I was scared about what the kids would say or even do to me. I thought they might make fun of me, or even be scared of me and pull off my headscarf. Kids at that age usually like to be all the same, and there’s little or no acceptance for being different.

On the first day of school, I put all those negative thoughts behind my back and walked in with my head held high. I was holding my breath a little, but inside I was also proud to be a Muslim, proud to be wearing the hijab, proud to be different.

I was wrong about everything I thought the kids would say or even do to me. I actually met a lot of people because of wearing my head covering. Most of the kids would come and ask me questions—respectfully—about the hijab, and why I wore it.

I did hear some kid was making fun of me, but there was one girl—she wasn’t even in my class, we never really talked much—and she stood up for me, and I wasn’t even there! I made a lot of new friends that year, friends that I still have until this very day, five years later.

Yes, I’m different, but everyone is different here, in one way or another. This is the beauty of America. I believe in what America is built on: all different religions, races and beliefs. Different everything.

Sample #2: The Essentials to Happiness

written by Alexxandra Schuman, high school student, as heard on The Bob Edwards Show (2013)

As a child, I was generally happy; singing and dancing to my favorite songs; smiling and laughing with my friends and family. But as far back as second grade, I noticed a “darkness,” about me. I didn’t enjoy engaging in many things. I didn’t relate to my peers in elementary school because they appeared so happy, and I didn’t have that ability to achieve happiness so easily.

In middle school things in my life began to get even worse. I began withdrawing from everything I once enjoyed; swimming, tennis, family. I hated going to sleep knowing I had to wake up to another day. I was always tired. Everything was horrible. Finally, midway through eighth grade, I was told I had a chemical imbalance; diagnosed with clinical depression and put on medication. It took months for me to feel the effects of the medication.

When I began to feel happy again, is when I realized that I had to take the responsibility for getting better myself, rather than relying on medication and therapy alone. Aristotle said, “To live happily is an inward power of the soul,” and I believe that this quote describes what I had to do to achieve happiness. Happiness is a journey. Everyone seems to need different things to be happy. But I believe people are blinded from what truly makes one happy.

Growing up, we’re encouraged to be successful in life; but how is success defined? Success and happiness are imagined now as having a lot of money. It is so untrue. Recently I went to Costa Rica and visited the small town of El Roble. I spent the day with a nine-year old girl named Marilyn. She took me to her house to meet her parents. It was obvious that they were not rich; living in a small house with seven children. The house was cluttered but full of life. Those who have decided that success and happiness comes from having money and a big house would be appalled at how utterly happy this family from El Roble is. People say that seeing things like that make you appreciate what you have, but for me, it made me envy them for being so happy without all the things I have.

“The essentials to happiness are something to love, something to do, and something to hope for,” a quote from William Blake sums up what I believe people need to realize to be truly happy in life. People need love; I feel they need their family and their friends more than anything in the world. People need work to do, something to make them feel they are making a difference in the world. People need to know that more good is to come in the future, so they continue to live for “now” instead of constantly worrying about the bad that could come. And most importantly people need to know that happiness is not something that happens overnight. Love and hope is happiness.

Sample #3: Find a Good Frog

written by Delia Motavalli, high school student, as heard on The Bob Edwards Show (2013)

I believe in finding a good frog. It seems that all throughout childhood, we are taught to look for a happily ever after. “And they all lived happily ever after”; isn’t that the conclusion to many children’s films? When I was a kid I always thought of that as magical; but now really it just seems unrealistic. And it teaches us that what we want is a fairytale like they have in the storybooks. We all want to be Cinderella who gets swept off her feet by the hot prince; we want to live in the royal castle, right? But I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing for us to seek. Now I’m not saying I believe in being pessimistic, but I do believe in being realistic; it’s something I got from my mom.

My mother and I always have our best conversations in the rain. We sit in the car, neither of us wanting to brave the rain to get to the house. So we sit. We watch droplets race down the windshield, listen to the rain strike the roof of her little blue Honda, and feel the heater on full-blast rushing at our feet (just the way we like it). I don’t know why, but sitting in the car, we always talk more than normal. There was one rainy day when my mom told me something that is going to stick with me forever. Earlier that day she and my dad had been arguing about something; I can’t remember what. So she said, “Don’t spend your life looking for Prince Charming. Instead, find yourself a really good frog.”

At the time, I found this thought really disheartening. Who wants to think that you’ll never find Prince Charming? You’ll never get to be Cinderella? Another thought that struck my mind: if my mom says there’s no Prince Charming, then what’s my dad? A frog? I asked her, and she replied with, “Of course! If he were Prince Charming, he wouldn’t snore, would be able to cook, and we would never argue. But you know what? He’s a damn good frog.” Of course, being young, I didn’t think of the meaning behind what she was saying. I was too busy thinking of it literally, visualizing my mom as a princess and my dad in frog form.

But a few years later, I understand the value of my mom’s words. You can’t expect everything to be perfect. Let’s be completely honest; if you wait your whole life for your prince with flowing hair, statuesque features, and a white horse, you’re going to be lonely. I think that the point of finding a good frog is you accept something that’s great, flaws and all. It’s so easy to be picky. You can find the one tiny thing that’s wrong, and that one tiny thing is what you can’t get your mind off of. But in life, we can’t afford to wait years in vain for perfection. So I think that a good frog, an amazing frog, the best frog you can find is what we’re really looking for in this world. Don’t laze through life waiting for a happily ever after, because I don’t think you’ll be very happy with the outcome.

Examples from the ‘This I Believe’ Website

Be Cool to the Pizza Dude by Sarah Adams

They Lived Their Faith by Charles Henry Parrish

Returning to What’s Natural by Amelia Baxter-Stoltzfus

The Birthright of Human Dignity by Will Thomas

Remembering All The Boys by Elvia Bautista

I Am Still The Greatest by Muhammad Ali

A Goal Of Service To Humankind by Anthony Fauci

My Life Is Better by Abraham

Give Me a Waffle by Brenda

The Little Things by Sophie Crossley

You can also browse thousands more This I Believe essays by theme .

Prefer to Listen to Get Inspiration?

Check out This I Believe’s Podcast Series

4) Drafting

Assignment guidelines + suggestions and tips for drafting.

1. While the examples you’ve been given can serve as a model, it is essential that each of you write about a personal belief or philosophy that you feel strongly about. 2. Tell a story. Personal experiences are the corner stone of a good essay. Your story doesn’t have to be a heart breaker or even a major event, but it must be something that has affected how you think, feel, and act. List your personal experiences that you intend to use as evidence below: 3. Be concise. Avoid repetition. This essay should be between 500 – 650 words. When read aloud, it should take roughly four minutes. 4. Name your belief. It is essential that you can name your belief in a sentence or two. Focus on one belief only. This is your thesis. Write it here: 5. Be positive. Avoid preaching or persuading. You aren’t trying to change the way others think or act. Write about what you believe, not what you don’t believe. 6. Use the first person. Speak for yourself. Avoid using we or you. 7. Let your voice shine. Use language that sounds like you. Read it aloud as your revise. Keep making changes until your essay sounds like you and captures the essence of your belief.

5) Peer Review

Once you have written your first draft, arrange for your essay to be edited by a peer, using the following Peer-Editing Checklist: Writer’s Name: ________________________________________________ Peer Editor’s Name: ________________________________________________ Use your PENCIL or PEN (NOT red or green) to make corrections. Remember, this essay is a work in progress. You are not done writing! Look for ways to improve what you’ve already written. Tick each step if it has been completed. _____ 1. Read the paper backwards, one sentence at a time. Check for spelling errors. Use a dictionary, a friend, or a spell checker to find the correct spelling. _____ 2. Check for capitalized proper nouns and the first word of each sentence. _____ 3. Skip a line between each paragraph. _____ 4. Every sentence should have end punctuation. _____ 5. Check commas. Are they only used for compound sentences, a list of items, an introductory word or phrase, direct address, setting off interruptions, separating adjectives, or in dates? Do you need to add commas? Make sure you do not have commas separating complete sentences (i.e. comma splice errors that create run-on sentences). _____ 6. Apostrophes are used only for contractions and to show ownership. _____ 7. The use of more complex punctuation (dashes, hyphens, semi-colons, parentheses, etc.) is done correctly. _____ 8. Have you used commonly mixed pairs of words correctly? Check these: they’re/their/there, your/you’re, it’s/its, a/an, to/too/two, are/our/hour, and others. _____ 9. Read the paper backwards one sentence at a time. Check for sentence fragments and run-ons and correct them. _____ 10. Did you stay in present tense (such as is, am, do, take, know, etc.) or past tense (such as was, were, did, took, knew, etc.) throughout the entire essay? _____ 11. Did you stay in first person (I, me, my, we, us, our) or third person (he, him, she, her, they, them, their) throughout the entire essay? _____ 12. Was there adequate use of specific details and sensory details? Were the details clear and relevant to the statement? _____ 13. Is the overall purpose/philosophy clear? _____ 14. Does the conclusion make you go, “Wow!” “Cool!” “I never thought about it that way,” or any other similar reaction? Other suggestions for the overall content of the piece: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This I Believe by Tanya Matthews is licensed by CC-BY-SA

“This I Believe” Essay Copyright © 2020 by Liza Long; Amy Minervini; and Joel Gladd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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• This I Believe Essay Showcase

'This I Believe' Essay Showcase

We asked GEL students and GEL alumni to share a belief in the form of an essay. The GEL program has long been one that helps students take stock of themselves and find their way through social and moral landscapes. Instructors in this program often assign This I Believe essays, sometimes as entry points into these landscapes and sometimes as souvenirs. Out of many, seven This I Believe essays stood out to a reading committee made up of students, faculty, and staff.

This I Believe is a popular essay genre that allows the writer to share a personal belief and, through a narrative, explain that belief’s origin or a time that belief was put into action. The essay genre started in the 1950s on a radio show with Edward R. Murrow and was continued by NPR in 2004. Many have enjoyed writing and reading these essays ever since. You can read or listen to tens of thousands of This I Believe essays at This I Believe.org .

To submit your essay for the 2019-2020 academic year, please use the link below:

This I Believe Showcase Essay Submission

The Writing Center is proud to present CSUSM’s This I Believe Showcase winners and their essays from the 2018-2019 Academic Year!

“I Am Enough” by Adrianna Adame

Throughout my life, I have always thought of myself as a failure. I was a failure for not being smart enough, friendly enough, or pretty enough. Always, I criticized myself for not putting in enough effort in order to work up to my full potential. Though, this wasn’t about working up to my full potential, but for not fulfilling the unrealistic expectations that I had burdened upon myself and by the people closest to me. The burdens that I carried weighed me down like how an anchor holds down a boat. Only, it was attached to my mind, instead of my ankle or a ship. The weight of the self-hatred and low self-esteem that I had made me feel like I was drowning. There wasn’t a bright horizon that could be seen in the distance, but instead more black and gray clouds that would bring another storm my way.

Day after day, I would look at myself in the mirror, tearing myself down. I would tell myself every night that I was never enough. I believed that I was a weak and worthless individual, a waste of time. This kind of hateful thinking made it a struggle to stay afloat. Before I knew it, I was weighed down by anxiety and an eating disorder. Each morning I would wake up to only to prepare to endeavor the difficulties of my illnesses.

At one point, I was fully consumed by the storm of my dark thoughts. I had trouble getting through each day. It was a struggle to pretend that everything was okay. I couldn’t even fake a smile anymore. During this time, I began to wonder what it would be like if I no longer existed. When I was staring at the cold and harsh waves of Monterey Bay one night, I realized that I didn’t want to drown. All of a sudden, I remembered all of the people in my life who helped me throughout the different stages of my life. I didn’t want to let them down. I thought about how I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life struggling to get through a single day. I didn’t want to go through life isolated, because of my anxiety. I wanted to live a life where I could be happy and be surrounded by people I admire. That moment of staring at the waves of Monterey Bay was when my determination to not only to just live came back, but my will to enjoy life came back.

I had to first learn from myself to begin to let go of the dark and anxious thoughts that had plagued me. Once I accepted that I would never be able to fulfill those unrealistic expectations that I had, I acknowledged that I needed to seek help by talking to mental health professionals. I couldn’t remain alone in the open sea forever, but needed to climb onto the lifeboat and communicate with people in my life.

Eventually, I realized that I wasn’t a failure. I actually was successful in many ways: for making it to CSUSM; being able to be there to those close to me; and having the beautiful gift of having the freedom to be the person that I am today.

I believe that I am enough. I am good enough for society. I am good enough to be myself without the burden of negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations. I am good enough to get the help that I need from others. I am good enough to live a happy life.

“The Power of Potstickers” by Lauren Brown

I believe in my mother’s cooking.

Ever since my mother realized I would have to cook for myself in college, she dedicated her summer to teaching me the ways of the kitchen. Whether it was educating me on how to operate a pressure cooker, showing me the best ways to peel of the skin of garlic, or demonstrating the right way to steam potstickers in a wok, the resilience my mother had in passing down as much as she knew was admirable. She insisted that the exact measurements or the exact ingredients weren’t necessary and cooking was more of an art than a hard science, but I still felt I would undoubtedly obliterate any flavor or texture with a single misplaced grain of salt; no compromise would yield perfection. Still, she persisted I pour rice into the cooker without a measuring cup and my heart sank with disappointment as I watched the watery, soupy mess fall heavily into the trash can.

“Sometimes, things won’t be perfect,” is what she told me, “and you just have to roll up your sleeves and realize that finding a different solution is the only way to save the dish.”

From then I started to see the compromises and solutions my mother would speak of, not just in the kitchen, but in her life around her.

My mother wanted to make us a traditional Taiwanese dinner, one her mother would make for her before she left for America. However, the pallet of my younger brother, only appreciating the complexities of chicken nuggets and pizza slices, refused to eat our cultural family infused feast. Next time my mother wanted to recreate the dishes, she opted for the frozen potstickers from Trader Joe’s with beef and American broccoli instead of cabbage and bok choy. Although this satisfied the tastes and likings of my sibling, I couldn’t help but despair over the changes to the recipes that I held so dear, despair over the compromise of our culture.

When I went away to college, my mother dutifully packed a freezer bag full of our pre-prepped food from home, and sitting on top of the frozen dishes were the Trader Joe’s potstickers.

Having roommates in college was a large enough compromise in itself, but food proved especially difficult. Caught off guard by roommates asking for tastes of my meals, I found myself naturally flowing into compromise the way my mother did, cooking for everyone and incorporating their preferences and restrictions. Egg noodles instead of rice. Less sesame oil and more soy sauce. Even though I didn’t welcome these changes to my dinners at first and feared the substitutes would produce a subpar dinner, I slowly found myself liking the alternatives more than the recipes. I continued, adding fried eggs, bean sprouts, spinach and spam to the prepackaged ramen noodles that only called for powdered flavor packets, and even my roommates began to show interest towards the unorthodox combination.

Although I find the exact measurements of recipes comforting, I do my best to add a pinch of this and a dash of that in my meals every so often. It’s how I get to go outside my comfort zone every day. And I see in myself a newfound wisdom: it's ok to go off the beaten path, you can experiment, compromise can lead to something new and beautiful. My mother’s cooking taught me that and I expect to bring that with me wherever I may go.

“I Believe in Healing” by Yahaira Cazares

I believe in healing. I believe in the enduring process of healing. September of 2017 I had an experience that has made the last year very difficult for my family and I. I long to heal and at times I feel like those steps towards healing are possible because I believe in hope, and that hope is part of healing. The idea that if I am not okay or not happy in this moment but have the capacity to become happy and become okay in the future is a motivating force for healing. I am in a place where I welcome the hurt and the pain because I understand that it is part of the healing process. I also welcome laughter and new opportunities because I believe allowing myself to be paralyzed in unhappiness will paralyze my healing.

I believe that as a person I am capable of allowing love to heal me. I believe that when my dog lays on my chest, she is healing me; when I tuck my younger brother in, he is healing me; when I hug my parents, they are healing me; when I watch “While you were Sleeping” for the fifteenth time, it is healing me. I am in the process of growth, and what I mean by that is I am “Filling my cup until my cup runneth over” I am choosing to fill my cup with understanding. The process of healing is like filling my cup with one drop per day, desperately agonizing, but desperately necessary to appreciate a full cup.

I have been visiting Mexico almost every other weekend, I see a lot of poverty, mothers are seated on the ground in the hottest and coldest of temperatures, with their babies and toddlers on their laps, trying to sell gum for any spare change. I had never been exposed to that level of poverty, and yet the babies and the toddlers were playing, laughing using rocks or a single action figure they had to share to create a fantasy, a game. That is when I realized that they were healing. Kids heal because they believe that good outweighs evil. They so willingly hope and neglect the possibility of failure. As adults, that diminishes. Experience takes it away, trauma takes it away, insecurity takes it away. Healing is taking it back. Taking back hope, taking back the unwavering belief that things will not always be bad. That there is always room for growth, always room for healing. To understand why things happen and appreciate the things that cannot be understood. There is strength in that, strength I hope one day to possess. I believe in change, I believe in growth, I believe in healing.

“Patience and Perseverance” by Erica Gershom

I believe that nothing in this world is unattainable if an individual works hard to achieve his or her goals. I have witnessed first-hand how much power perseverance has and how it can completely alter a person’s lifestyle and mindset. As an aspiring surgeon, I realize that it will take more than just good grades and volunteer experience to become someone who saves lives. Dedicating my life to helping patients will require a tremendous amount of sacrifice, self-control, and determination. In 2016, my father had a stroke, which permanently disabled his ability to walk and speak. At that time, I was enrolled in four A.P. classes, two dual enrollments classes, A.V.I.D., and I participated in three clubs on campus. I was also volunteering at Loma Linda Hospital on the weekends and singing at church on Sundays. The sole reason I was able to maintain a balance between all of my academic and extracurricular activities is because I believed in myself. I believed that I was capable of working harder than usual to juggle my school life and my family life together. I stayed up late to study for exams and woke up early to take my younger brothers to school since my mother had no other option but to work two jobs after my dad had become physically disabled. I do not know who I would be today if I had not pulled through these rough circumstances and persisted through high school regardless of the tragic events that occurred in my life. I wanted nothing but to wallow in my self-pity and feel horrible for all the setbacks that were persisting in my life. However, I made the decision to keep moving forward, and it was the best decision of my life.

I slowly began to see that my mindset played a huge role in determining how much work I could get done and where I would be in two years. I told myself to have a positive mindset and be patient, since I had seen the direct results of how well that played out in my life. Even today, I am faced with both internal and external struggles that would have normally held me back and prevented me from following my dreams, but a small voice of motivation in my head tells me to keep pushing through. As a 19-year-old female, I am proud to say that I have reached many milestones in my life that were on my to-do list, and it makes my passion for becoming a doctor intensify even higher, all thanks to diligence and patience.

Now, whenever someone asks me if I am really willing to undergo 14 more years of school—including residency and training—to become a surgeon, I say “absolutely, without a doubt.” Hard work has not only been a tool for success, but it has also given me a sense of purpose for my life. It has taught me how to have good work ethic and to always aim higher in everything I do.  It has also shown me that I have the power to change my own life and determine who I could be in this vast world. Success is not measured by the position a person is in, but rather how much hard work a person put in and how many challenges had to be overcome. With this in mind, I am willing to put forth as much effort as it takes to achieve my goal of becoming a great doctor and an even greater person.

“Faith, Hope, and Love” by Karen Siguenza

When I was six years old, my father, an undocumented immigrant was deported. I never knew that that was the reason why he moved to Mexico. I always thought that he just grabbed his stuff and left. Three years later, my mother was also deported. I remember when the ICE came into our room at 6 am in the morning. We were sleeping, then all of a sudden one of the ICE agents gets my sister and I dressed up and sends us to my aunt's house. I didn't understand anything that was going on. I mean I was nine, and my family would never speak the subject to me until a year later.

Every night I would pray to God to make sure my Mom was healthy. It was my faith in God that made me strong these past years. My mom would send me letters but she would never call because she was in a detention center. In those letters, there were prayers inside. Prayers of us seeing each other soon, and for us to be safe and healthy. I had all my faith in God, I would pray that I could see my mom. Having hoped to see mom again gave me strength. I tried my best in school and I always stayed focused. I wanted there to be a purpose for me being a first generation in the United States of America. I never let any opportunity go by.

I wanted to make my parents proud, and I still do. Even though they weren’t here physically with me throughout the years, I still received support from my mom. I had a few rough times in life that almost made me get off track. Through them I had my mom help me get through the difficult times, she would always give me love and support. You see, the most important thing a person can have is love. Having faith gives you a chance of having hope. Because of my faith, I never gave up on working hard in school.

I believe that faith and hope are a beautiful thing. When someone tells you, "I hope you do good." or "I hope everything will be ok for you." , that in my opinion, is the best feeling. I feel cared for and motivated because of it. It is true what they say, "it's the little things in life". Having hope makes me motivated in achieving success. In the Bible, the verse Corinthians 13:13, states: "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love". I had faith in God, which gave me hope. Faith and hope motivated me to succeed in my education. Without it, I wouldn't be where I am today, at California State University, San Marcos. I am here to receive an education and to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in order for me to have a stable job that I will love doing. But without my mother's love, I wouldn't be who I am today, a first-generation college student. I believe in faith, hope, and love. I believe that by giving or receiving these three things, it can make a better you.

“I Believe in Loving Myself” by Samantha Sparkenbach

I believe in loving myself. As a millennial, I am part of the majority of people who use social media. I was convinced that it was necessary to have platforms like Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. I thought nothing harmful could come from an app, but I was wrong. From scrolling through pictures of girls who were living lavish lives that I would never have to compare my body to models photos that were most likely photoshopped, I was destroying my confidence slowly.

I grew up loving myself like any other kid would with so much innocence and happiness when I would sink my teeth into my favorite foods. What I would do to go back to a time where I could care less about what I was eating because it could affect the way my body looks. As I got older, I started to get more interested in fashion and makeup, I was more inclined to go on social media to get ideas and inspiration from online influencers. I thought there was no wrong in doing this because everyone my age was doing the same thing. People were posting all the adventurous trips they were going on as well as the most thrilling parts of their day. I was starting to notice how unsatisfying my life seemed compared to everyone else. I started questioning why I wasn’t living nearly the same exciting way they were. Not only was social media making my life feel dull but it was making me judge my body a certain way.  The more I found myself spending time standing in the mirror looking at myself and obsessing over the fact that my body wasn’t skinny enough was making me lose my self-worth. The mirror was starting to become a daily chore where I would point out every little detail I hated. I was viewing myself completely different than I really was, and just causing destruction inside of me. I no longer wanted to go out or hang out with people because I thought people would see what I was perceiving and not enjoy me anymore.

I remember one morning when I woke up and saw a stretch mark on the inside of my leg and I fell apart. All I could think about was how models don’t have stretch marks, so why do I? I was a mess about this and just wanted total isolation. I knew I could not keep filling my head with unhealthy acquisitions about myself.  I decided that it would be beneficial to remove all my social media accounts to see if I would feel more valuable.

As time would pass that I wouldn’t be checking my phone and wouldn’t be comparing my body to others, I was loving myself more. I started to wear clothes that I felt truly beautiful in and adapted my own style, not the style social media told me I should wear to feel sexy. I had completely created an ideal body in my head of what was perfect and no one can achieve that realistically. My body is unique and no one else has the same one as I do. Through the process of loving myself, I have been able to help so many of my friends to do the same, and the glow I started to see within them made me feel so content. Through loving myself I have learned inner peace and what it means to not rely on anyone else but myself. I believe in loving myself because my body is constantly working to keep me alive and healthy. I believe in loving myself because I deserve to think in a positive way instead of negative. I believe in loving myself.

“Infatuation” by Reignmarc Vincent Labuguen

I believe infatuations are necessary to strengthen desire, passion, and happiness in life. It’s a word that describes admiration for a short period of time. Infatuations is a viral emotion that can occur without notice. Whether it’s a job you’ve seen on television, following the footsteps of your idol, or getting your crush’s phone number. The word does not have to be involved romantically. Infatuations may end in disappointment. Sometimes it may become an excuse to never attempt a dream again. Time flies by, I have somehow made it this far. Thanks to these admirations.

I believe infatuations are all a part of a process that makes me an open book to opportunities. It’s hard to see it as a positive outcome, but the illusion of being disappointed begins to fade when a new opportunity is presented.

I can recall experiences that consist of undesirable outcome and disappointment. But I choose not to because who would like to hear me complain about my past. I am nowhere qualified for a podcasting career. But I do want to share you my past experience because I do believe it’s the reason why I hold my passions to live a successful life. My infatuations have always been a time when I do something uncharacteristic. It is usually my mother that notice my actions first, more than anyone.

In ninth-grade, I tried out for the varsity basketball team. My mom called me out and said, “why bother, your physically and mentally unathletic.” Boy, I wanted to prove her wrong. This would’ve been the best underdog story you’ve ever heard. I was cut from the team after the third day of try-outs. I was out of my comfort zone, literally and physically. Yes, it ended my dream following Kobe Bryant’s legacy. But I couldn’t imagine myself getting out of my comfort zone again without being in this position. Rejection is my greatest fear, but without it, I’ll never know how to cope with failure ever again.

In eleventh grade, I finally came at peace that basketball will never be a reality, and I accept it. So, I came back to my passion for public service. I ran for a position in ASB, not once but twice. When I told my mom that I wanted to return to public service, she told me, “you got to be kidding me, you’re not going through this and lose it all again.” She called me out for not being mainstream to win in a high school setting. But of course, my infatuation got the best of me and submitted my campaign to run for president. It is a huge commitment to run for public service. The front-runner was no other than the popular girl on campus. I was committed to winning, but the high school population was too overwhelming. I can certainly tell you my mom is a fortune teller, I lost the election by a landslide. Cheers to democracy.

My obsession achieving a dream influence actions outside my comfort zone. I accept that infatuation gets the most of me. The short-term desires reveal uncharacteristic actions. It is a bittersweet process, but I am thankful for it. While most outcomes result in heartbreak, it also reveals new characteristics of me. I take advantage of it, so when the next desire come, achievement might actually be a possibility.

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This I Believe

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Celebrating Four Years Of 'This I Believe'

April 27, 2009 • During its four-year run on NPR, This I Believe engaged listeners in a discussion of the core beliefs that guide their daily lives. We heard from people of all walks of life — the very young and the very old, the famous and the previously unknown.

Saying Thanks To My Ghosts

April 26, 2009 • Novelist Amy Tan hasn't always believed in ghosts, but as a writer she's had too many inspirations that she can't fully explain. Now, Tan embraces her belief in ghosts and the messages of joy, love and peace they bring her.

Life Is An Act Of Literary Creation

April 23, 2009 • Mexican-American novelist Luis Urrea used to think that simply being a good observer would make his writing better. But over time, he's come to believe that being a good writer and a good person comes from paying attention to the world around him.

The Art Of Being A Neighbor

April 12, 2009 • A few years ago, Eve Birch was broke and living alone in a dilapidated mountain shack. But a community of people befriended her, shared what little they had with her and showed Birch the value of neighbors uniting to help one another.

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I Am Still The Greatest

April 6, 2009 • To be the "Greatest of All Time," boxing legend Muhammad Ali says you have to believe in yourself. It's a lesson his parents taught him and it has helped him in fighting Parkinson's disease.

Dancing To Connect To A Global Tribe

March 29, 2009 • Matt Harding has been to 70 countries to dance — badly — in front of a camera, and videos of his travels have become an Internet sensation. Harding believes interacting with so many different people challenges him to understand what unites humanity.

My Father Deserves Spectacular Results

March 26, 2009 • Environmental activist Van Jones is a special adviser to the Obama administration. He says his dad, who died last year, would have gotten a kick out of seeing Obama become president. But his dad had high standards, and there is much more work to be done.

The Beatles Live On

March 15, 2009 • Macklin Levine was born more than 25 years after the Fab Four broke up, but at 12, she has a deep appreciation for Beatles music. "As old as the songs are, you can learn a lot about yourself from the lyrics," she says. And the Beatles help her remember her Dad, too.

Finding Freedom In Forgiveness

March 5, 2009 • Jennifer Thompson-Cannino was certain that Ronald Cotton was the man who raped her in 1984. But she was wrong. After Cotton spent 11 years in jail, DNA evidence proved his innocence. Now, the two have a friendship based on their belief in forgiveness.

Work Is A Blessing

March 1, 2009 • When he was 12, Russel Honore got his first job helping a neighbor milk 65 dairy cows twice a day. Fifty years later, the retired Army lieutenant general believes hard work helps build character, strengthen communities and promote freedom.

Seeing Beyond Our Differences

February 26, 2009 • Scientist Sheri White says that despite differences in size, shape and color, all humans are 99.9 percent biologically identical. White believes we should embrace our similarities and honor the differences that make each of us unique.

Historical Archives

Reflections on race: essays from the archives.

February 23, 2009 • Dan Gediman, executive producer of NPR's This I Believe, explores the archives of the original series hosted by Edward R. Murrow in the 1950s. He says the essays shed light on the realities of segregation at the dawn of the civil rights movement.

Gediman explores the 'This I Believe' archives.

The magic of letters.

February 15, 2009 • Chameli Waiba was raised in a village in Nepal and didn't attend school as a child. When she finally learned to read as an adult, Waiba discovered the power words could have to change her life, as well as the lives of others in her rural community.

How To Survive Life's Tests

February 9, 2009 • Kendra Jones assigned her students to write This I Believe essays and decided that she owed it to them to write one of her own. Jones believes toughness, steeliness and even meanness have helped her throughout her life.

Our Awareness Controls Human Destiny

February 8, 2009 • In an essay from 1951 for the original This I Believe series, Margaret Mead says she can't separate the beliefs she has as a person from the beliefs she has as an anthropologist. She says that humans have a responsibility for the entire planet.

A Hope For Bettering Humanity

February 1, 2009 • In an essay from 1953 for the original This I Believe series, Sir Charles Galton Darwin, the grandson of naturalist Charles Darwin, drew on his study of science to say he believed the future of humanity depended on the practice of eugenics.

Listening Is Powerful Medicine

February 1, 2009 • It took a scolding from an elderly patient to get Dr. Alicia Conill to look up from her charts and stop to listen. Conill came to understand the value of listening in the treatment process — especially when she herself became the patient.

America's Beauty Is In Its Diversity

January 29, 2009 • In sixth grade, Alaa El-Saad decided to start wearing the hijab , a religious head covering for Muslim women. Despite some trepidation, she found her classmates supported her choice. Now El-Saad believes being different is part of being American.

Thirty Things I Believe

January 18, 2009 • When Tarak McLain's kindergarten group celebrated their 100th day of class, some kids brought 100 nuts or cotton balls. Tarak brought a list of 100 things he believes. Now a first-grader, Tarak shares his top beliefs about God, life, nature and war.

Inviting The World To Dinner

January 12, 2009 • Every Sunday for 30 years, Jim Haynes has welcomed complete strangers into his Paris home for dinner. By introducing people to each other and encouraging them to make personal connections, Haynes believes he can foster greater tolerance in the world.

Pathways Of Desire

January 4, 2009 • Gina Parosa believes in letting her kids, pets and livestock make their own paths in life. But she also realizes that as a farmer and parent, she sometimes has to step in and set good boundaries — while still being flexible enough to change them.

This Is Home

January 1, 2009 • Majora Carter believes you don't have to move out of your old neighborhood to live in a better one. Carter was raised in the South Bronx and spent years trying to leave. But when the city proposed a waste facility there, she was inspired to fight for her community.

Health Is A Human Right

December 21, 2008 • As an infectious disease specialist, Dr. Paul Farmer has traveled the planet to organize and provide medical treatment for people living in poverty. He believes good health care is vital but just the first step in creating a world free of all human suffering.

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101 This I Believe Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

Inside This Article

"This I Believe" essays are a popular genre in the academic and personal writing world. They allow individuals to reflect on their beliefs, values, and experiences in a concise and engaging manner. If you're looking for some inspiration for your own "This I Believe" essay, here are 101 topic ideas and examples to get you started:

• I believe in the power of kindness.
• I believe in the importance of self-love.
• I believe in the value of hard work.
• I believe in the beauty of diversity.
• I believe in the strength of resilience.
• I believe in the magic of music.
• I believe in the healing power of nature.
• I believe in the importance of education.
• I believe in the power of forgiveness.
• I believe in the importance of empathy.
• I believe in the value of honesty.
• I believe in the power of hope.
• I believe in the importance of family.
• I believe in the beauty of art.
• I believe in the strength of community.
• I believe in the power of perseverance.
• I believe in the importance of gratitude.
• I believe in the value of friendship.
• I believe in the beauty of simplicity.
• I believe in the importance of mindfulness.
• I believe in the power of positivity.
• I believe in the importance of communication.
• I believe in the value of laughter.
• I believe in the beauty of love.
• I believe in the strength of faith.
• I believe in the power of creativity.
• I believe in the importance of integrity.
• I believe in the value of curiosity.
• I believe in the beauty of vulnerability.
• I believe in the strength of courage.
• I believe in the importance of authenticity.
• I believe in the value of compassion.
• I believe in the beauty of acceptance.
• I believe in the strength of self-expression.
• I believe in the power of self-reflection.
• I believe in the importance of self-care.
• I believe in the value of independence.
• I believe in the beauty of solitude.
• I believe in the strength of teamwork.
• I believe in the power of imagination.
• I believe in the importance of discipline.
• I believe in the value of responsibility.
• I believe in the beauty of freedom.
• I believe in the power of change.
• I believe in the importance of adaptability.
• I believe in the value of balance.
• I believe in the beauty of imperfection.
• I believe in the strength of vulnerability.
• I believe in the power of self-awareness.
• I believe in the importance of self-compassion.
• I believe in the value of self-acceptance.
• I believe in the beauty of growth.
• I believe in the strength of transformation.
• I believe in the importance of resilience.
• I believe in the value of perseverance.
• I believe in the beauty of forgiveness.
• I believe in the strength of love.
• I believe in the power of gratitude.
• I believe in the value of kindness.
• I believe in the strength of unity.
• I believe in the importance of trust.
• I believe in the beauty of authenticity.
• I believe in the strength of integrity.
• I believe in the power of communication.
• I believe in the importance of collaboration.
• I believe in the value of teamwork.
• I believe in the beauty of creativity.
• I believe in the strength of innovation.
• I believe in the power of education.
• I believe in the importance of lifelong learning.
• I believe in the value of critical thinking.
• I believe in the beauty of curiosity.
• I believe in the power of adaptability.
• I believe in the importance of flexibility.
• I believe in the value of patience.
• I believe in the beauty of perseverance.
• I believe in the strength of determination.
• I believe in the power of self-discipline.
• I believe in the importance of self-control.
• I believe in the value of self-improvement.
• I believe in the beauty of self-care.
• I believe in the strength of self-love.
• I believe in the power of self-acceptance.
• I believe in the importance of self-awareness.
• I believe in the value of self-reflection.
• I believe in the beauty of self-discovery.
• I believe in the power of self-confidence.
• I believe in the importance of self-respect.
• I believe in the value of self-esteem.
• I believe in the beauty of self-compassion.
• I believe in the strength of self-empowerment.
• I believe in the power of self-actualization.

These are just a few examples of the many topics that you could explore in your own "This I Believe" essay. Remember, the key to a successful essay is to choose a topic that is meaningful to you and to communicate your beliefs with honesty and clarity. Good luck!

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Education Standards

Nebraska agriculture and natural resources standards.

Learning Domain: Agribusiness Systems

Standard: Differentiate between management and leadership

This I Believe essay - Leadership

This i believe oral evaluation sheet, 'this i believe' essay writing.

Presented in five consecutive standard-period classes, students are invited to contribute to the This I Believe essay-writing project by writing and submitting a statement of personal belief.  This is a challenging, intimate statement on one’s beliefs and one’s own daily life philosophy, considering moments when belief was formed, tested, or changed.  Written by Jarvis Reed.

Overview:  Presented in five consecutive standard-period classes, students are invited to contribute to the This I Believe essay-writing project by writing and submitting a statement of personal belief.  This is a challenging, intimate statement on one's beliefs and one's own daily life philosophy, considering moments when belief was formed, tested, or changed.  Written by Jarvis Reed.

AFNR.HS.10.5.c  Communicate using strategies that ensure clarity, logic, purpose, and rofessionalism in formal or informal settings.

AFNR.HS.20.1.d  Examine and practice public speaking.

Learning Goal: 

Students will increase written and oral communication skills by thinking critically and articulating in writing a personal foundational belief in 350-500 words stated in the affirmative and then presenting this essay to their class.

Photo by Yeshi Kangrang on Unsplash

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Personal Beliefs — This I Believe: Exploring Core Values and Personal Convictions

This I Believe: Exploring Core Values and Personal Convictions

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Published: Sep 5, 2023

Words: 579 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

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Personal reflections on beliefs, fostering connection and empathy, inspiring thought and contemplation, unity amidst diversity.

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50 I Believe Essay Topics

To better train students on how to present their personal opinions on subjective matters, teachers will assign what is known as an “I Believe” or “This I Believe” essay writing assignment.

Designed to provide the reader with insight into the writer’s character, these essays are typically written in first-person point of view. The writer shares their beliefs on a particular topic – ranging from religion and politics to more personal subjects such as love and happiness – and offers supporting arguments for why they hold these beliefs.

The Challenges of Writing “I Believe” Essays

This type of essay prompt is a welcome break from more detail-oriented or researched-based writing assignments for many students. However, “I believe” essay writing assignments aren’t always easy.

It can be challenging for students to articulate their beliefs in a clear and concise way that isn’t argumentative or offensive to the reader. Students may also struggle to explain their reasoning behind these beliefs in a thorough and not overly simplistic way.

Despite these challenges, “I believe” essays can be an excellent opportunity for students to share their thoughts and feelings on important topics and learn more about themselves in the process.

Tips for Writing “I Believe” Essays

If you’re given an “I believe” essay assignment, here are a few tips to help you get started:

• Start by defining what it is that you believe. This may seem like a simple task, but it can be challenging to identify your core beliefs. If you’re struggling, start by jotting down a list of topics that are important to you – from politics and religion to family and friendship.
• Reflect on why each topic is important to you. Think about the reasoning behind your choices and how these reasons evolved over time. After all, your core beliefs are likely to have changed or grown since you reached adolescence.
• Determine which of your beliefs are the most important. Focusing on developing thought processes that support your beliefs. For extra help, consider sharing these thoughts with a trusted friend or family member for advice.

By reflecting upon your core beliefs and developing clear arguments to support them, you can craft a powerful “I believe” essay that will truly reflect your thoughts and feelings.

How to Write an “I Believe” Essay

To craft a well-written “I Believe” essay, students must forgo the typical essay structure of introduction, body, and conclusion.

Instead, the essay should be organized around a series of specific beliefs that the writer wishes to share. Each thought should be introduced with a clear thesis statement, followed by supporting arguments and examples.

The conclusion of the essay should wrap up the main points that have been made and leave the reader with a final thought to ponder.

Here is an example of how an “I Believe” essay might be structured:

Thesis: I believe that everyone has the right to love and be loved.

Argument: Everyone deserves to find love and experience happiness in their lives. This should not be limited by race, religion, socioeconomic status, or any other factor.

Example: I saw a video of a man proposing to his girlfriend at Fenway Park. She said yes and the crowd went wild! Now that is love. If they can find it, then so can we all!

Conclusion: Society should not stand in the way of love. Love is the most powerful force in the world, and we should all embrace it.

As you can see, the “I Believe” essay structure allows for a great deal of flexibility. Students can choose to focus on a variety of topics and can organize their essays in different ways. An “I Believe” essay can be an excellent opportunity for students to present their thoughts on important issues under a few simple guidelines. With a bit of planning and organization, this type of essay writing assignment can be a breeze!

What You Shouldn’t Do When Writing an “I Believe” Essay

To ensure that you are writing an “I Believe” essay and not another form of an argumentative or persuasive essay, avoid doing the following:

• Don’t provide evidence or use statistics to support your position – this is not an essay that calls for research.
• Don’t attack or criticize the beliefs of others – your goal is to share your own opinions, not to tear down those of others.
• Don’t go off on tangents – stay focused on the main points you want to make.
• Don’t speak objectively or in the third person – for example, don’t say “people believe that” or “studies show.”
• Don’t use filler words and phrases such as “I think,” “I feel,” and “it seems like.”

Use any of these 50 “I Believe” essay topics to help you brainstorm ideas for your essay!

I Believe Essay Topics About Life

• I believe that life is too short to spend time with people who bring you down.
• I believe that laughter is the best medicine
• I believe that we should make time for quiet reflection every day.
• I believe that the only thing that matters in life is love.
• I believe that we are all capable of change.
• I believe that it is never too late to learn and grow.
• I believe in the power of positive thinking.
• I believe that we should always be kind, even when it is difficult.
• I believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence.
• I believe in the saying “what goes around, comes around.”
• I believe that we are all responsible for our own happiness.
• I believe that the best things in life are free.
• I believe that it is essential to be grateful for what we have.
• I believe that it is never too late to achieve our dreams.
• I believe that we should surround ourselves with people who make us better.
• I believe that you can either love or hate something; there is no in-between.

I Believe Essay Topics About Education & School

• I believe that education is the key to a bright future
• I believe that children are our future and should be treasured as such.
• I believe that there is no such thing as a dumb question.
• I believe that schools should do more to celebrate diversity.
• I believe that homework is essential, but it should not be excessive.
• I believe in the importance of having a strong support system while attending school.
• I believe that standardized tests are not an accurate measure of a student’s knowledge.
• I believe that it is vital to find a balance between work and play while in school.
• I believe that everyone should have the opportunity to learn how to swim.
• I believe in the importance of recess and physical activity in students’ lives.
• I believe that there is no such thing as a bad grade.
• I believe that teachers deserve more respect and better pay.
• I believe that it is never too early to learn a foreign language.
• I believe that education should be free for everyone.

I Believe Essay Topics About Friends & Family

• I believe that family is the most important thing in life.
• I believe that friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
• I believe that it is essential to maintain close relationships with friends and family.
• I believe that there is no substitute for quality time spent with loved ones.
• I believe that family is not defined by blood but by love and commitment.
• I believe that we should spend more time with the people we care about and less time worrying about material things.
• I believe that it is better to have a few close friends than many superficial ones.
• I believe that it is healthy for friends to grow apart.
• I believe that competition between friends is healthy.

I Believe Essay Topics About Money

• I believe that money cannot buy happiness.
• I believe that it is essential to be happy with what you have, not what you want.
• I believe that people are more important than things.
• I believe that it is okay to splurge on something even if it means going into debt.
• I believe that it is better to give than to receive.
• I believe that money can’t buy everything.
• I believe that the love of money is the root of all evil.
• I believe in saving for a rainy day.
• I believe in investing in oneself.
• I believe in the saying, “money doesn’t grow on trees.”
• I believe that rich people should be forced to pay more taxes.

These 50 I Believe essay topics are sure to inspire your own original beliefs and help you create a powerful and unique essay. When writing your I Believe essay, be sure to focus on the beliefs that are most important to you and that you feel passionate about discussing. The best I Believe essays are the ones that are personal and reflective, so don’t be afraid to share your own thoughts and experiences.

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Power Lesson: “This I Believe” Essays

December 4, 2016

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“Doing homework”  by Predi is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

In this power lesson shared by high school English teacher Cynthia Ruiz , students write their own personal statements of belief. The essay pushes students to write about something that matters to them and helps them get to know each other on a deeper level.

I used to assign a “Letter to the Teacher” at the beginning of every year  to get a snapshot of how a student writes while simultaneously learning background information. Being completely honest, this assignment is also an easy way to get the first few back-to-school days started when a 90-minute class period feels like 900 minutes, because everyone is typically on their best behavior and not talking much. Although I enjoy reading the letters, the assignment doesn’t lend itself to revising and is written only for a specific, one-person audience.

I know building relationships with students is important and a way to get to know them is through their writing, so I did some research to see what other teachers were trying. I came across the “This I Believe” site  and immediately liked the concept better than an introduction letter for a teacher.

Assignment Guidelines

The first time I assigned a “This I Believe” essay was in the fall of 2014, during the second week of school. I planned it as a year-long endeavor, something we could work on as a distraction from other essays required to prepare for state testing. This past year, I did not assign it until late April; it would be our last major writing task. I wanted to give everyone plenty of time to write but held them to a firm deadline of having four weeks to work.

This time, I crafted my writing guidelines according to  those posted on the NPR site that hosts hundreds of This I Believe essays from around the world. My rubric still has some typical writing conventions, but overall I think it focuses more on student voice than structure. I made it clear that students had a lot of choice regarding both content and format. The biggest restriction came directly from the This I Believe site: a 500-600 word limit. I know a lot of writing teachers are divided when it comes to word count, but I figured it was still better than giving a specific number of required paragraphs and sentences.

One other requirement was that students use at least three “vocabulary devices.” This may seem like a restriction, but it actually supported student voice. Over the spring semester, we spent a lot of time reviewing both rhetorical and literary devices (anaphora, hypothetical questions, simile) and I told students to focus on the devices they genuinely felt comfortable using.

Helping Students Choose a Topic

Because the rubric leaves room for a lot of choice, I encouraged students to visit the featured essays site and not only read, but listen to real examples. I wanted them to see that this wasn’t just another run-of-the-mill assignment, that what they believe is important and writing is just one way to share those beliefs. I also made it a point to tell them our end goal was to share this essay with their entire class by way of a gallery walk.

After giving students time to explore the site, I had them “rush write” in their notebooks to see what immediate ideas they captured to help start the brainstorming process. Here’s the prompt I used:

This I Believe For 2 minutes: List words or ideas that you think about when you think of YOUR LIFE. (Can be feelings, symbols, names, events, etc.)

After students generated this list, I asked them to consider what they wanted to write about and share with others. I wanted them to imagine a larger audience and think outside of meeting my expectations.

For some, deciding what to write about was easy and they began drafting immediately. However, the majority of students struggled not so much with what they believe, but how to write about it. Even though they appreciated having so much choice, they still needed some direction to get started.

We continued the listing strategy by focusing on “most memorables”: most memorable events in life so far, most memorable stuffed animal, most memorable friends, family experiences, life lessons learned, and so on. I asked them to focus on why they remember what they remember, and whether or not it impacts any of their beliefs. One student remembered a saying his grandmother always told him that still provides comfort as he’s gotten older. Another focused on her family not having a big house when they first moved to America and how she’s learned to be satisfied with opportunities instead of possessions. While this strategy helped a lot of light bulbs go off, it didn’t work for everyone.

Another strategy I tried was using involved sentence stems: I know I am the way I am today because______. I know I think about things the way I do because _______. I think most people would describe me as ______. I emphasized that these phrases did not have to be included in their final products, but should help generate ideas. I talked with a few frustrated students about this strategy and they told me it made them realize they’ve never really had to think about themselves in this way, but ultimately, it gave them direction for their essays.

Drafting and Revising

Because of block scheduling, I gave students about a week and a half to complete a working draft, which required having at least two paragraphs of their essay done. I only gave a portion of two to three class periods to actually write in class; students were expected to write on their own time.

On the day drafts were due, I set aside class time for revision. I asked students to refer to the rubric and focus on voice and vocabulary strategies. Questions I told them to consider were: Does this sound like me? Do I talk like this to my friends or family? I gave students the option of reviewing their own essays or partnering up with someone to peer edit. Again, this was the end of the year, so we had already established a pretty firm community of trust in class. I don’t know if peer editing would have been as easy had I done the assignment early in the year.

Overall, draft day didn’t feel like the usual “revising and editing” days we’ve had with other essays. Students were very concerned with whether or not they were making sense, if they should add more, or if they were being too repetitive, rather than only being concerned about capitalization, spelling, and grammatical errors.

Sharing the Finished Essays

The culmination of this assignment was when the essays were shared in a gallery walk . The gallery walk is my answer to having students write for a larger audience, and it really helps this essay become about what students have to say instead of just another grade. I can’t count how many times I have returned tediously graded essays only to have a kid immediately walk over to the recycling bin and trash it! Sure he read the comments and suggestions I made, or saw the cute smiley face I left by an excellent word choice, but it didn’t mean much to him because the paper is graded and finished, and he is now done thinking about it. With a gallery walk, not only are students thinking about what they wrote, but they have the opportunity to think about what their classmates wrote as well.

I printed each essay without any names, and made sure any identifying statements were revised. However, there were quite a few students who said they were proud of what they wrote and had no problem if others knew which essay belonged to them. Because not every student turned in a final copy, I printed additional copies of some completed essays to ensure every student had something to read during our gallery walk, instead of drawing attention to the two or three students who did not finish the assignment.

I placed the essays on different tables throughout the room and allowed students to move around as needed; some chose to stand and read an essay, others opted to sit, while others sprawled out on the floor to read. I played soft music and asked that the room volume stay quiet enough to be able to hear the music at all times. I didn’t mind if students were sharing and discussing, and I really wish I recorded the various conversations and comments I overheard that day: “Wow! Did you read this one yet?” “Man. Who wrote this? I might cry. Good tears, though.” “This one is life, Ms. Ruiz.”

I provided a pad of post-its near each essay and told students to leave POSITIVE feedback for each other. I provided sentence stems to help:

Something I liked…

Something I can relate to/agree with…

Something that surprised me…

Something I want to know more about…

I really think…

I periodically checked to make sure no one was being inappropriately critical or just leaving cute hearts or check marks. I wanted students to think about what they were reading, and understand that feedback is a crucial part of the writing process

After about 40 minutes, each essay had received multiple written comments, looking similar to the picture below:

Overall, the feedback was uplifting and actually created a sense of belonging in each class. Students told me they learned so much about each other that day and were shocked by their classmates’ writing. A few said they wished they had written this essay sooner.

Sample Student Work

I was floored by some of the essays I received. Some made me laugh, some made me gasp, some made me cry. Compared to the typical papers I usually assign, this essay allowed my students to not just think about what they were writing but to care about their writing and to be intentional in the language they were using, both in word choice and rhetorical strategies, because it was about what they believe. It is some of the strongest student writing I have ever received as an English teacher.

Here are some sample paragraphs from students who gave me permission to share their work:

From a student who told me he hates school and hates writing.

From a student who by all outward appearances, comes from a traditional family.

From a student battling depression and anxiety.

From a student who missed almost a whole semester but is trying to stay in school.

Although this essay helped end the year with a strong sense of community, I think teachers could easily have students write it at the beginning of the school year or even in January at the start of a new year. I’d love to hear how other teachers have used an essay like this in their classes. ♦

Have you taught a lesson or designed a learning experience we should feature in Power Lessons? Send a full description of your lesson through our contact  form and we’ll check it out!

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Categories: Instruction

Tags: English language arts , lesson planning , power lessons

39 Comments

Cynthia and Jennifer, Thank you for sharing this Power Lesson; it’s one I plan on “borrowing” for sure in January. I love the connection built during the gallery walk. I can imagine this being truly powerful for all students. Well done!

I LOVE this!! I will use this in the Spring with my students. The excerpts in the blog post were so personal. I hope the students realize what a gift they shared.

Tonya, I agree. I’m always so grateful when students are willing to let us see their work here!

I love this assignment. I use it every semester with Public Speaking students, following a similar brainstorm and drafting process. Since the assignment comes from a radio program, my students audio record themselves, and our celebration of the work happens through hearing each student read the essay. Very powerful hearing their voices!

Ruth, thanks so much for taking the time to share this idea. I’m sure lots of teachers will love how audio enriches this assignment.

Thank you for sharing the students’ samples. Writing is such a great way to express oneself and when you make it personal students are engaged. ❤️ it! I am thinking about adding it as my last assignment for my 3rd graders!

Thank you for sharing, especially the students’ work samples.This will help inspire my students to share important details about their lives. Might I also recommend an excellent book I purchased used recently: Reading, Writing and Rising Up (by Linda Christensen)

I like this writing strategy. Last week I started something similar with my Arabic students. In groups of 3 to 4 students, they wrote stories (Brainstorm, first draft…) They started writing their final draft(with illustrations and drawings) on the butcher paper. On Monday, they will hang it on the wall and they will give each other feed back wile walking and reading each other’s essays. The problem with the foreign languages students writing is that they have brilliant ideas in English, but they cannot express them in Arabic or French… My questions is the following: Is there a way to adapt this writing strategy to World Languages students with taking into consideration the limited students’ language levels.

I love this assignment. I use at the end of the year with my seniors. I tell them to focus on a belief that they have formed over their past years of school and that will guide them as they make steps on their next journey — college, military, work, etc. Every year I am awed by the thought and pride they take in it. Their voices shine through the papers. The emotions, ranging from joy to sadness or humor to regret, overtake their essay making each both personal and universal. I also always write one that I individualize for each class and how they have shaped or firmed one of my own beliefs.

I love this, especially as a way to “re-enter” in January! I hope that I can use it effectively with my middle schoolers. Thank you so much for sharing this!

YES!! This was my first lesson in my first year of teaching and it completely set the tone for the rest of the year. The work I received from eleven year olds blew my mind, and I even submitted(with their permission) a few pieces to be published because they were that deep. Bravo to this I believe essays & sharing lessons like this with other educators.

Did you find that you had to add in any scaffolds/support for students? I want to try this with my 7th graders who really struggle with writing and getting started with ideas.

This looks like a fabulous project and one I am keen to try out next semester.

I, too, have been doing this assignment for a few years now. It is my favorite assignment of the year. I teach 8th grade English and I have my students share their essays aloud. We sit in a circle and listen to each student share his/her belief. It is powerful. We laugh. We cry. We learn. Having students write for an audience of their peers is challenging for them, but so rewarding in the end.

This looks great for January. I noticed that the This I Believe website has a high school curriculum for sale for $20. Has anyone used it? Is it worth it? Necessary?

This reminds me of an assignment I had in high school. It was called our “Capstone,” and was a year-long process (12th grade). We first chose three things that were important to our lives: a person, a place, and an event. Over the first semester we wrote about these in three separate papers. Then come second semester we had to connect them with a metaphor, and put together a 20 minute presentation that connected everything. It really allowed students to get creative while expressing what was most important to us.

Do you happen to have an example of this still? It sounds AWESOME and I would love to do it with my 8th graders!

Your students’ essays are beautiful, authentic and inspiring, as I am sure your teaching is. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for the lesson. I like this idea for journaling too!

A brilliant idea! Thanks!

Thanks for sharing and including student work examples. Essays like this are a great way to get to know students at a deeper level and could also make a good college entrance essay!

Thank you for sharing this. Inspirational and heartfelt writing from young people.

This is so inspiring and beautiful. Thank you so much, both of you for sharing this power lesson. I was lookibng for a writing task muy ss could include in their e-Portafolio. Can’t wait to try it!! Thank you again!!

I know this might be simplistic, but could you share more about the vocabulary devices?

Hi, April! For the vocabulary devices, I’m referring to adding similes, metaphors, hyperboles, imagery, etc. We usually practice devices like anaphora and asyndeton in my advanced classes, so those can also be used. One of my favorite lines this year was: “I mean, I thought a step stool would do the job but instead it was like climbing a 20 foot ladder just to finish my goal…” We talked about how using a vocab device is more powerful than “I worked really hard.” Hope that helps! Cheers!

This is sooooo great!! I love it!!!!!

I love this. Has anyone tried it at the start if the year? Are students willing to write about such personal experiences and beliefs with a teacher and classmates that they don’t know well?

Hi Lizzie! I work for Cult of Pedagogy, but I’m replying as a teacher. I teach college level freshman comp and I started my previous semester with this essay. Because it was the beginning of the year, I didn’t do a gallery walk; it was more of a practice assignment to get used to the flow of papers and feedback. They had to bring in a rough draft for in-class workshops, so I made sure they knew a few of their classmates would be reading what they wrote. For extra credit, I offered them the chance to record their paper as a “podcast” and post it on YouTube. I was blown away by how in-depth most of them went! In fact, I’m starting my fall semester with it again.

I love this assignment in the spring for senior English. Generally, kids are appreciative that we’re doing the final writing assignment about something that is ‘real world legit’. I’ve always been impressed by their level of attention (and attendance),as our gallery walk happens on the last day of their English class in June.

Hi! This looks like a fantastic lesson and I would love to try it with one of my English classes. I noticed that your writing guidelines link is no longer available. Is there anyway I could get this information? Thanks Kelsey

Hi Kelsey! Thanks for letting us know about the link. This was a guest post and we will be happy to reach out to Cynthia to see if she has a current link to the writing guidelines. If so, we’ll get that updated on the post as soon as we can. Thanks again!

I was wondering about the guidelines as well. I teach in China and we are out of school right now for Chinese New Year, so I would love to have this when we return in February. Thanks for your help!

Hi Karen & Kelsey! I wanted to follow up on your request for the guidelines to let you know that Jenn no longer has access to them. If you haven’t already done so, Jenn recommends to check out the writing guidelines posted on NPR. I hope this helps!

I teach a course called Theory of Knowledge. One of the concepts we study is ‘faith’ as a way of knowing or gaining knowledge. I remember the “This I believe” series on the radio and then NPR. I have my students read several of the essays from the website and a few I copy from one of the books published. Then, they brainstorm and write their own essays. This spring, right before the Covid shutdown, one of my students committed suicide. I had returned his essay to him only days before; he’d written about the importance of love and relationships in life. Being able to share his essay with his mother and brother (who I had also taught) was a gift for all of us. I think the inspiration to have students write these essays was somehow a preparation for this sad experience. I like the suggestions here and may use the sentence stems to help those who struggle to get started.

Hello! I want to say that I had some difficulties in writing essays and statements. When I entered college, the first thing I encountered was writing a quality application.

thanks for sharing, this is really useful information for me!

thanks for sharing informative!

This looks like an amazing lesson plan and although it is late in the year I will try to use it. could you please send the grading rubric you used?

Hi, there! Because this post was written so long ago,we have unfortunately lost touch with the author, Cynthia Ruiz. From what we understand, she is no longer in the classroom. However, you may be able to connect with her on Twitter by clicking on the Twitter icon at the top of the post underneath Cynthia’s name.

If you are looking to create your own rubric, the section of this post called Assignment Guidelines links to the NPR website where Cynthia found the writing guidelines that she used as a basis for her own. In addition, there is another Cult of Pedagogy post on the single-point rubric , which you might find useful. I hope this helps!

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Community Essay Examples

When crafting your college applications, writing strong essays is essential. Through your essays, you demonstrate who you are–from your values and passions to your lived experiences. Indeed the personal statement is the most common college essay. However, you will also likely have to write some supplemental essays as part of your college application requirements. One of the most common supplemental essay types is the community essay. This essay type is also known as a describe the community you live in essay, cultural diversity essay, or community service essay.

In this article, we will introduce several community essay examples. Most importantly, we’ll describe why they are considered college essays that worked. Specifically, we will share community essay examples from the two schools:

• Princeton University
• Columbia University

By studying these admissions essay samples, you can see what makes these college community essay examples strong and apply those same principles to your writing.

Reviewing Types of College Essays

Each school has different supplemental essay prompts for their college application requirements. However, there are a few types of essays that are most common. By becoming familiar with these essay types, you can begin to brainstorm and strategize what you will write about early on. You might start as early as sophomore or junior year in high school. 

Now, let’s take a look at the most common supplementary essay questions.

Common Supplementary Essay Questions

1. why school.

A Why School essay is, as it sounds, about why you wish to attend a specific institution. The key to answering this prompt well is to be specific. You should identify examples of what you like about a school. Avoid general comments such as “it is a top school” or “it is diverse.” Share specific programs, professors, teaching approaches, cultural elements, or unique opportunities such as research or study abroad.

2. Why Major

The Why Major essay asks you to share specific reasons behind your choice of major and how it relates to your future goals. A strong response to a Why Major essay will highlight your specific motivations. But it will also connect those motivations to a school’s unique opportunities. For example, perhaps you wish to be a pre-law history major, and the school you are applying to offers law-related internships. By highlighting these specific connections, you draw a compelling connection between yourself and the school.

3. Extracurricular Activity

Many schools ask you to describe an extracurricular activity that is particularly meaningful for you. When responding to this question, do not feel limited to only talk about the most popular extracurricular activities for college applications, like clubs or sports. Consider all of the activities you do outside of school. Then choose the one that is most meaningful to you. Also, give specific examples of how you grew or made an impact within your extracurricular activities for college.

4. Community Essay

The Community Essay can have slightly different angles to it. But, the uniting factor is that the school wants to know how you engage with others around you. Some types of community essays are a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay. In recent years, the cultural diversity essay has been a more common college application requirement.

Coming up, we will share a bit more about how to break down community essay prompts. We’ll also take a look at college essays that worked. By reading these examples, you’ll know how to approach these common prompts.

How to identify a community essay?

While community essays can have slightly different focuses, they all share the goal of learning about where you come from. A supplemental essay prompt might ask you to share more about your background via a group you are part of. This is likely a community essay. Indeed, a community essay can also be called a describe the community you live in essay, or a cultural diversity essay. Other college community essay examples focus on how you will contribute to a college campus. Finally, in a describe a community you belong to essay example, you will see that students highlight any community that is meaningful to them.

You may be wondering why so many colleges have community essays as a college application requirement. For one, many colleges use a holistic admissions process. This means they care about all aspects of who you are, not simply your grades and test scores. How you engage with your communities shows them your character and values. For example, a describe the community you live in essay example about visiting church every Sunday demonstrates your commitment to religion. Similarly, a cultural diversity essay helps colleges learn more about your cultural background. 

Additionally, colleges want to learn more about how you will engage with their on-campus community. You’ll notice this important factor in the college community essay examples we will share. To some degree, how you have engaged with previous communities can be an indicator of how you will show up on their campus.

How is a community essay different?

As we mentioned, community essays can have slightly different focuses. Some prompts ask you to write a describe the community you live in essay. These types of community essays are more like cultural diversity essays. 

Keep in mind that the word “community” can have many different meanings. A community can be your school, church, or neighborhood. It could also stem from your interests. For example, your dance or robotics team can form your community.

Some community essay prompts want to know specifically how you help strengthen your communities. These types of essays are considered a community service essay. Another term for community service is “civic engagement.” An example of civic engagement might be getting people in your cultural community to sign up to vote. Or, another could be helping with church fundraisers to ensure that your local community has the resources it needs to thrive. 

In sum, the keywords you might see in a community essay prompt are “civic engagement,” “community service,” “serve your community,” “contribute to your community,” or “diversity.” No matter how it’s phrased, your essay should demonstrate the impact you’ve had on your community–whichever one you choose to highlight. 

What are some examples of community essays?

In this article, we will share several community essay examples. Specifically, we will highlight Princeton essay examples and Columbia essays examples. Let’s look at these two colleges’ essay prompts. 

The first Princeton supplemental essay prompt is a part of our college community essay examples and our cultural diversity essay examples. Here is the prompt:

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #1: Cultural Diversity Essay and College Community Essay Examples

Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff and leadership to engage in respectful conversations that can expand their perspectives and challenge their ideas and beliefs. as a prospective member of this community, reflect on how your lived experiences will impact the conversations you will have in the classroom, the dining hall or other campus spaces. what lessons have you learned in life thus far what will your classmates learn from you in short, how has your lived experience shaped you  (please respond in 500 words or fewer.).

In this cultural diversity essay prompt, Princeton wants to know about your lived experiences. By this, they refer to any experiences that have shaped you profoundly. A lived experience can be a specific event, such as experiencing a car crash or winning an award. Or, it could be a set of experiences that resulted from life circumstances, such as being a first-generation college student or having taken a gap year .

This essay prompt will also lead to college community essay examples. Indeed Princeton wants to read about your lived experiences and how they impacted you. But, they also want to know how you will bring those lessons to the Princeton community, should you enroll . Also, note that this prompt mentions challenging ideas and beliefs via conversation. As you respond, look for ways to highlight how you have engaged in fruitful dialogue and how you would do so at Princeton.

To answer this prompt effectively, share specific examples. Additionally, be sure to answer all parts of the prompt. 

Princeton has a second supplemental essay prompt that focuses on how you engage with your community outside of the classroom. The prompt is as follows: 

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #2: Civic Engagement

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer) .

To answer this prompt well, you must highlight specific examples of how you have positively impacted your community. As a starting point, consider which of your communities you have most engaged with. How have you done so and what results did you have?

The Columbia Community Essay Prompt is another of our college community essay examples. It is a cultural diversity essay, as well. Here is the prompt: 

Columbia Community Essay Prompt: A Cultural Diversity Essay

A hallmark of the columbia experience is being able to learn and thrive in an equitable and inclusive community with a wide range of perspectives. tell us about an aspect of your own perspective, viewpoint or lived experience that is important to you, and describe how it has shaped the way you would learn from and contribute to columbia’s diverse and collaborative community. (150 words or fewer).

While this prompt is similar to Princeton’s, it also references perspectives and viewpoints. In doing so, the prompt opens you up to share opinions or values that are important to you. You might consider highlighting values in your family or community that you either hold close or disagree with. 

Note that Columbia also highlights the word “collaborative” in this prompt. This indicates that your cultural diversity essay should also show how you collaborate with others.

Which schools require a community essay?

In addition to Princeton and Columbia, many other schools have community essays as part of their college application requirements. Here are some other examples of community essay prompts:

In this UNC-Chapel Hill prompt , you must describe a specific example of how you made an impact on a community. The prompt reads:

The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill: A Community Service Essay Prompt

Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. this could be your current community or another community you have engaged. (250-word limit).

In responding, be sure to highlight what community you are referencing, the specific impact you made, and what personal quality helped you do so.

This prompt from UMichigan is a describe a community you belong to essay example, as well as a cultural diversity essay:

The University of Michigan: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (required for all applicants. 1,500 character limit.).

In addition to describing the community, make sure to share how you engage with it and what it has taught you. Remember that community is a broad term. So, for this prompt you can respond with any type of community in mind, whether physical or cultural. In contrast to the describe the community you live in essay, you do not have to be geographically close to the community you describe here.

Duke University: Cultural Diversity Essay Prompts

Duke offers students five supplemental prompts to choose from, of which they can reply to two. Of these supplemental prompts, four are examples of cultural diversity essays:

1. We believe a wide range of viewpoints, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to maintaining Duke as a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community.

2. we believe there is benefit in sharing or questioning our beliefs or values; who do you agree with on the big important things, or who do you have your most interesting disagreements with what are you agreeing or disagreeing about, 3. duke’s commitment to inclusion and belonging includes sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. feel free to share with us more about how your identity in this context has meaning for you as an individual or as a member of a community., 4. we recognize that not fully “fitting in” a community or place can sometimes be difficult. duke values the effort, resilience, and independence that may require. feel free to share with us circumstances where something about you is different and how that’s influenced your experiences or identity..

Each of these prompts is a slightly different type of cultural diversity essay, from sharing a range of opinions to not fitting in within a community. Choose the essay prompts that most resonate with you. And share specific examples that bring your cultural diversity essay to life.

In this Yale University supplemental prompt , you must choose a community that you feel connected to and describe why it is meaningful. Here’s the prompt:

Yale University: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Reflect on your membership in a community to which you feel connected. why is this community meaningful to you you may define community however you like. (400-word limit).

When responding, be sure to highlight what you have learned or how you have grown from this community. In contrast to a describe the community you live in essay, this essay can be about any community, near or far, that resonates with you. Indeed, the prompt gives you plenty of leeway in what you consider community. 

When responding to the UC system prompts , you must choose four of the eight available personal insight questions. One of the PIQs is a community service essay prompt:

The University of California Personal Insight Question: A Community Service Prompt

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place, things to consider: think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. you can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community, why were you inspired to act what did you learn from your effort how did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community.

Similar to many of the other prompts, when answering this question, be sure to identify the specific impact you made on your community.

Now that we have looked at various examples of community essay prompts, we can explore community essay examples. Reading essay examples is a great way to get inspired to write your own college essays. 

In each of the highlighted college essays that worked, note what the author did expertly. Rather than trying to copy their responses, topics, or ideas, consider how you can apply those same skills to your writing. 

Princeton Community Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Princeton essay examples that respond to their two community essay prompts: a cultural diversity essay and a community service essay. 

The first of our Princeton essay examples responds to the following Princeton prompt: 

Princeton Essay Examples #1: Cultural Diversity Essay

Now, let’s take a look at a student’s response to this prompt focusing on lived experiences. 

Princeton Essay Examples #1 Student Response

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values.

In the face of distinct cultures and customs, we forge a single identity as Highland Parkers and come together to organize large community events. The most prevalent example is our highly touted annual Memorial Day parade, where we join together with neighboring New Brunswick to invite military service members, family members of our fallen war heroes, our legislative and congressional representatives, and our townspeople. Moreover, as our high school band’s vice president, I help organize and lead our ensemble into these performances with a positive and uplifting spirit. We communicate with the town government and arrange the performances every year to perform at the parade. The parade is an example of many of our large community events that serve as a unifying force for our diverse community, reminding us that we are fundamentally connected as one cohesive group, despite our differences. 

As someone deeply interested in historical and political matters, I am well aware of the consequences that arise from dictatorial protocols that limit the freedom of speech and diversity of voices. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument, and I have learned to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind. For example, in a Model Congress debate, I found myself advocating for the interests of a state heavily reliant on traditional fossil fuels. While researching and articulating that perspective, I gained insights into the economic challenges faced by the states that are reliant on these resources. This experience not only broadened my understanding of the complexities surrounding environmental policies but also highlighted the necessity of considering diverse viewpoints for comprehensive decision-making. 

My background and experiences have fostered in me a profound appreciation for the value of diversity, inclusivity, and the pursuit of knowledge. At Princeton University, I will seek to contribute as an active participant in the community, actively provide unique perspectives and insights, and respect and learn from others’ perspectives even if there are disagreements. I wish to partake in student government, which has like-minded peers who want to make a substantive impact, and also participate in service programs like the Civic Leadership Council. Also, I hope to increase my impact from the leadership positions I currently hold on the Red Cross club and teen mayoral advisory council using the platforms in Princeton. I look forward to making a positive impact on both the campus and the broader community. 

Why This Cultural Diversity Essay Worked

In the first of our Princeton essay examples, the student successfully responds to all parts of the Princeton prompt. They begin by describing their community and sharing some details about its makeup. Indeed, the first sentence hooks the reader–it is unique and compelling. 

Then, the student illustrates how they specifically contribute to their community each year by leading the high school band in the Memorial Day parade. They also highlight how their experience in Model UN shaped their appreciation for diverse perspectives. In sharing these two examples, the student demonstrates their leadership and open-minded thinking. Finally, the student ends by highlighting how they would use these values to contribute to Princeton’s community– by partaking in student government and Civic Leadership Council, among other activities.

In the second of our Princeton essay examples, the student responds to the second Princeton prompt which is: 

Princeton Essay Examples #2: A Community Service Essay

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer).

And, here is a student’s response:

Princeton Essay Examples #2 Student Response

My first experience with the Red Cross was when my older sister was desperately trying to recruit people to join the club during the harsh COVID year. Things were so bad for the club that I, as a freshman, ran for the position of treasurer unopposed. My first blood drive experience was marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among blood donors. Even many donors who showed up ended up being turned away due to health-related issues. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it. 

However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives started to regain momentum; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. I have realized that, despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like Community Action at Princeton to serve the Princeton community and abroad.

Why This Essay Worked

In this admissions essay sample, we learn about a student’s volunteerism with the Red Cross as an example of civic engagement. This essay works for several reasons. First, it provides a specific example of the student’s civic engagement and demonstrates their impact by becoming vice president and increasing membership. Secondly, the essay provides an honest take on the struggles of this service experience, which lends credibility and authenticity to the story. 

The student also demonstrates an important lesson learned. This aligns with Princeton’s values– that students can have a positive impact on society. 

Columbia University Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Columbia essays examples that landed students admission to the prestigious Ivy League university. The first of our Columbia essays examples is written by the same student who responded to the first Princeton prompt above. Here’s a reminder of the Columbia prompt: 

As you read the example below, notice how the student edited their Princeton cultural diversity essay to meet the prompt and lower word count for Columbia:

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values. 

HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation.

At Columbia University, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. Actively engaging in student groups such as ColumbiaVotes will be a big part of my experience. 

The Columbia essay prompt only allows for a 150-word response. This could pose a challenge for many students. What makes this essay among the Columbia essays examples that worked is how succinctly it completely answers the prompt. 

The response begins by hooking the reader with a relevant detail of the student’s community. Then, the student shares how this community shaped them by influencing their values of diversity and inclusion. Finally, the student shares how they would engage with a Columbia organization that also supports diverse viewpoints. Though short and sweet, this response clearly answers all parts of the Columbia prompt. 

More Community Essay Examples

The final of our community essay examples is a community service essay. Let’s look at how student framed their service experience:

“I don’t believe that’s the best way to do this.” 

The moment I thought this the first time I volunteered at my local soup kitchen was one that resulted in a drastic change. When I was informed of the way the food was being served to the public, the initial excitement that I had felt diminished. We were told that the plates would be served before anyone arrived and would remain in an area where people could pick it up and seat themselves. I felt that this method was impersonal and inconsiderate, and disappointment washed over me. 

I turned to the people that were around me and discovered that they shared the same disapproval I felt. When we agreed that a change must be made, we exchanged ideas on how to present this to the woman in charge of the program. I suggested that we should serve each person one-by-one, and only give them the food if they wanted to/could eat it. They suggested multiple ideas, including that we should offer to seat them, hold their plates for them, continue to check in on them, and dispose of their plates once they finish their meal. We believed that this way would genuinely make them feel better and would allow us to get to know some of them personally. A simple smile and conversation could be enough to improve their day. 

From this day on, the way in which the local soup kitchen serves our community has changed dramatically. This experience taught me the importance of speaking up for what you believe in. In a group setting, it is likely that there will be others who share the same end goal and are willing to contribute different ideas to achieve the goal. These different perspectives can allow you to see situations in ways that you previously hadn’t, and can result in better outcomes. It also showed me the importance of leadership.

If I had never spoken up about the way the food was being served, a change might have never happened. When you work in the group, the end goal may not be for the benefit of anyone in the group, but for others who are in need. This experience also showed me the beauty in doing good for others and making others happy, even through small things such as serving them food to their liking.

In this community service essay, the student shares their experience volunteering at a soup kitchen. Volunteering at a soup kitchen is not necessarily unique in the list of extracurricular activities for college applications. However, the student highlights several aspects of the experience that make it meaningful to them. 

To start, the student shares their experience challenging the way that food was served. The student suggested that food be served directly to attendees in order to better connect with community members. Through this experience, the student learns about leadership and working with others to achieve a common goal. This specific example demonstrates the student’s collaborative values and compassionate way of thinking, both of which are great attributes to highlight in college applications.

How To Write A Community Essay

As we saw in the community essay examples, there are several hallmarks of college essays that worked. To write a good community essay, whether it be a community service essay, a cultural diversity essay, or a describe the community you live in essay, you must start by understanding the prompt. Once you have carefully read through the prompt, brainstorm examples from your own life that relate to it. Sharing specific details and examples will make your response stronger and more unique. 

Additionally, showcase how you grew throughout your response. In each of the community essay examples we shared, the student discussed a skill or perspective they developed through their experiences. Finally, connect your response to the school you are applying to. If you are writing a cultural diversity essay, for example, demonstrate how you would contribute to the cultural diversity at that school, both inside the classroom and in your extracurricular activities for college.  

Topics To Avoid In Your Community Essay

When writing community essays, there is technically no topic that you cannot discuss. However, how you discuss certain topics is important. 

For example, in a community service essay, it is important to not come off as a savior of a community with less privilege than yourself. Similarly, if you are writing a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay, you will want to avoid stereotyping any community. Speaking from your own personal experience as a member of a community is fine. However, generalizing your experience to the community at large can come across as insensitive to that community’s diversity. To avoid these pitfalls, have a variety of people read your community essay examples and look for these dynamics.

Additional Tips for Community Essays

We’ve highlighted the strengths in the community essay examples above. Now we will now share some more tips for making your community essays a strong part of your college applications:

Tips for Writing Community Essays

1. research the college.

When reviewing our college community essay examples, you will notice that students highlight specific clubs, programs, or groups on campus to which they will contribute. If you are specific, you demonstrate real interest in the school which adds strength to your college applications.

2. Tell a story

In each of the college essays that worked, students gave details that told a full story . This story incorporated where they come from and what they learned through their experiences. Rather than telling us who they were, the students used this particular story to show us.

As the college admissions landscape gets ever more competitive, students are sometimes tempted to read other students’ essays and copy ideas. Or, more recently, they may even want to use artificial intelligence to write their essays. However, AI and other students’ experiences won’t show admissions who you really are. Don’t worry about whether you have the best extracurricular activities for college or the most unique cultural diversity essay. Instead, talk about the experiences that truly matter to you. By being honest, you are more likely to come across as convincing and interesting. In each of our college community essay examples, students presented a true and well-thought-out response to the prompts.

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore 

As you work on your college applications, you might be in search of additional resources. CollegeAdvisor has a wealth of webinars and articles that can help you navigate writing your essays. Here are a few:

More CollegeAdvisor Resources for Essays

1. short essay examples.

Some of the cultural diversity essays you may write will be short, meaning that they are 150 words or less. This article with short essay examples can help you understand how to write short and sweet cultural diversity essays.

2. Cultural Diversity Essay Examples

In this article , you will find additional examples of cultural diversity essays. Many community essays are also cultural diversity essays. As such, becoming familiar with how students write about their cultures is useful.

3. The Ultimate Guide to Supplemental Essays

In this webinar , CollegeAdvisor experts provide a rundown of how to write strong supplemental essays for your college applications. In particular, this webinar will help you decode essay prompts and make sure you answer each prompt fully.

4. Editing Your Supplemental Essays

Once you have read up on college community essay examples and written your cultural diversity essays, you might need help editing them. This webinar will provide tips for how to edit your supplemental essays effectively.

Community Essay Examples – Final Thoughts

Completing your college applications can be a daunting task, especially when you must write multiple essays. For some students, writing cultural diversity essays is challenging. These prompts ask you to dig deep and reflect upon your life influences.

In this guide to community essays, we provided an overview of what a community essay is and how to respond to the different types of community essay prompts. We shared cultural diversity essay examples and describe the community you live in essay examples. We also described what makes these essays strong and how they meet college application requirements. 

In short, the key to writing stand-out essays is to be authentic and thorough in your responses. If you need additional help writing your cultural diversity essay, seek out the support of a trusted resource like CollegeAdvisor. We are here to help you craft the best college applications that could gain you admissions to the school of your dreams!

This article was written by Courtney Ng. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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Crafting Your Personal Statement for Residency: Examples and Critique

• August 22, 2024
• balance|ERAS|Residency
• Reviewed by: Amy Rontal, MD

If you’re starting on your ERAS personal statement, chances are you’re struggling with your “hook” (or introductory paragraph). We get it—”blank page syndrome” is real!

Rather than turning to ChatGPT to write your essay for you, we’re here to help you get over writer’s block with a full personal statement example, plus some tips to help you critique your own!

Take this intro for example:*

“Imagine this scenario: I am standing in the ER at 2 a.m., surrounded by chaos, with a critically ill patient in front of me . In this moment, everything I have learned about medicine seems to converge. I am brought back to a fateful summer evening when I was five years old, sitting beside my younger sister as she struggled to breathe, her severe asthma casting a shadow of fear over our family.

The helplessness I felt then mirrors the urgency I now face in the ER, but back then, the calm expertise of the pediatrician who brought relief to my sister left a profound impact on me. Those early experiences planted the seed of a calling that has grown through every life-altering moment since, shaping me into a physician who thrives in the very situations others shy away from. My journey into medicine wasn’t just a decision—it was a path forged by an early experience that led to a strong desire to help children and parents through challenging moments of their lives. Here’s why I am uniquely prepared to take on the challenges of residency.”

Why do I characterize this as a good introductory paragraph for a residency personal statement? Ask yourself: 

• Does it grab your attention?
• Does it hint what specialty the applicant is applying for?
• Does it make you want to continue reading?

This introduction does a good job at all three, which is essential for your residency personal statement. 

We’ll dive into the rest of the essay shortly and give it a full review, but first, let’s first take a quick look at why your personal statement is such an important part of your application, plus some general “do’s” and “don’ts” when it comes to writing your own. 

* The personal statement included in this post is a sample created for illustrative purposes only. The content and details provided are fictional and do not reflect any real individuals or their personal statements. However, the advice and guidelines demonstrated in this sample are based on real and applicable best practices for an effective personal statement.

Personal Statement for Residency: Examples of What Makes a Strong Essay

Crafting a standout personal statement for your ERAS application is crucial. This is your opportunity to present yourself as more than just grades and scores—your personal statement allows you to convey your unique background and journey into medicine, your drive and passion for the field, along with your suitability for the specialty you’re applying to. 

Let’s begin with the “do’s” when it comes to writing a personal statement. 

1. Weave a story with a compelling narrative.

As we saw with our sample introductory paragraph, it’s good to share a personal story or experience that inspired your interest in the specialty. This could be a patient interaction, a research experience, or a personal health journey. Make sure to tie it to whichever medical speciality you apply to. 

2. Reflect and answer the question: why this specialty?

Delve into the reasons you’re drawn to the specialty you’re pursuing. Think about and share the moments in your medical training that resonated with you and reinforced your desire to pursue this particular field. Was it the complexity of cases in internal medicine, the immediacy of care and decision making in emergency medicine, or the holistic approach in family medicine that attracted you?

Share a specific experience, clinical rotation, or patient interaction that solidified your interest. Show, don’t just tell, by which I mean instead of stating you’re compassionate or dedicated, illustrate these traits through specific examples. Describe how a particular event (or events) shaped your perspective on medicine.

3. Explain any red flags and showcase personal growth and development.

Mention any significant challenges or setbacks and how you overcame them, demonstrating resilience and adaptability, which are key traits for any resident. Discuss how adversity added layers to your character, and while addressing weaknesses in your application , do so honestly and reflect on what you learned from those experiences.

4. Highlight specific skills and qualities. 

Consider the skills and qualities that are particularly important in your chosen specialty. Are you a strong communicator, adept at working in teams, or particularly skilled in procedures? Provide examples of how you’ve demonstrated these skills in your clinical experiences.

5. Discuss your personal interests. 

Don’t shy away from discussing your interests outside of medicine if they contribute to your unique perspective or approach to healthcare. Whether it’s a passion for global health, a background in engineering, or a dedication to community service, these aspects can differentiate you from other candidates.

Alternatively, you can articulate your career goals and how the residency program will help you achieve them. Whether you aim to work in academic medicine, contribute to public health, or specialize further, make sure your goals are specific and aligned with the training the program offers.

6. Have a strong concluding paragraph. 

End your personal statement with a strong closing that ties back to your introduction. Reinforce your passion for the specialty and express enthusiasm about the possibility of contributing to and growing within the residency program.

7. Ensure your statement is free of grammatical errors, typos, and is clearly written. 

Have multiple sets of eyes review it for clarity and impact. 

Personal Statement for Residency: Examples of Pitfalls to Avoid

And now, let’s review the “don’ts” when it comes to writing your residency personal statement. 

Be sure to avoid the following: 

1. Don’t rehash your CV.

There’s no need for your personal statement to be a reiteration of your medical CV . Instead, focus on experiences that have profoundly shaped your career choices or that demonstrate your values and personality. Provide insight into your motivations and reflections that cannot be gleaned from your CV alone.

2. Avoid clichés or generic statements. 

Phrases like “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor” or “I’m a hard worker” are overused and don’t differentiate you from other applicants. Such statements don’t provide any new or unique information about you.

Instead, try to be specific and personal. Use anecdotes that illustrate your qualities and experiences, and explain how these moments have contributed to your decision to pursue a particular specialty and what you can contribute to the program. 

3. Don’t be overly humble or self-deprecating. 

While it’s important to avoid arrogance, being excessively humble or self-critical can undermine your accomplishments and suggest a lack of confidence. Residency programs are looking for candidates who can recognize their strengths.

Strike a balance by confidently discussing your achievements, while acknowledging areas where you continue to grow. Show that you’re self-aware and willing to learn, but also that you’re proud of your accomplishments.

4. Don’t ignore the specialty you’re applying for.

Failing to tailor your personal statement to the specific residency program or specialty can make you appear indifferent or undecided. Generic statements about the field of medicine suggest a lack of genuine interest or understanding of the specialty.

Instead, research the specialty and the specific program you’re applying to, and clearly articulate why you’re drawn to it. Mention aspects of the program that align with your career goals and explain why you’re a good fit.

5. Don’t write about irrelevant or inappropriate topics.

Including topics that are not relevant to your medical career, such as personal relationships, or overly dramatic life events that don’t tie into your professional journey, can distract from the purpose of the personal statement.

Rather, write about experiences and reflections that directly relate to your path in medicine and the specialty you’re pursuing. Keep the narrative professional, and ensure that every story or point you include serves to reinforce your suitability for the program.

By avoiding these common mistakes, you can craft a personal statement that is compelling, professional, and reflective of your unique journey in medicine.

ERAS Personal Statement Example 

Now that you have a bit more background on what (and what not) to do when it comes to a residency personal statement, let’s get back to our sample personal statement and review it. While fictional, the advice and guidelines demonstrated in this sample are based on real and applicable best practices for an effective personal statement. 

Here’s the full essay (again, fictional and for illustrative purposes only!):

T he helplessness I felt then mirrors the urgency I now face in the ER, but back then, the calm expertise of the pediatrician who brought relief to my sister left a profound impact on me. Those early experiences planted the seed of a calling that has grown through every life-altering moment since, shaping me into a physician who thrives in the very situations others shy away from. My journey into medicine wasn’t just a decision—it was a path forged by an early experience that led to a strong desire to help children and parents through challenging moments of their lives. Here’s why I am uniquely prepared to take on the challenges of residency.”

As I progressed through medical school, my experiences led me towards pediatrics. During my rotations, I found myself energized by the unique challenges of caring for children and deeply moved by the resilience they often showed in the face of illness. I recall one particular case I was a part of, a four-year-old boy with a complex congenital heart defect. His journey was one of numerous surgeries and hospitalizations, but through it all, his spirit remained unbroken. The bond I developed with him and his family over months of care was unlike anything I had experienced in other rotations. I realized that in pediatrics, we are not just treating the patient, but the entire family. This holistic approach to care, where empathy, patience, and communication are as crucial as clinical acumen, resonated with me deeply.

Throughout my medical training, I sought out experiences that would prepare me for a career in pediatrics. I volunteered at community health fairs, providing care and education to underserved populations, and I spent a summer working in a rural pediatric clinic, where I saw firsthand the disparities in healthcare access. These experiences reinforced my commitment to advocating for children’s health, particularly in vulnerable populations. I also pursued research in pediatric infectious diseases, contributing to a study on vaccine efficacy in immunocompromised children. This work deepened my understanding of the delicate balance between innovation in treatment and the importance of prevention in pediatrics.

What excites me most about a career in pediatrics is the opportunity to be a constant in a child’s life, helping them grow and thrive from infancy through adolescence. I am drawn to the diversity of the field, from preventive care in well-child visits to managing complex chronic conditions. I am also eager to work in a setting that values collaboration, where I can learn from a multidisciplinary team and contribute to the well-being of children in a meaningful way. I am particularly interested in pursuing a residency at a program that emphasizes community involvement and provides opportunities for advocacy and research, as I believe these are integral components of pediatric care.

I recognize that pediatrics requires not only a deep well of medical knowledge but also a capacity for empathy and patience. My experiences have equipped me with the resilience needed to face the emotional and physical demands of this field. I am committed to continuous learning and growth, and I am excited about the opportunity to develop the skills necessary to become a compassionate and effective pediatrician.

As I look ahead to the challenges and opportunities of residency, I am filled with a sense of purpose and eager to dedicate my career to the care of children and their families, to be the reassuring presence they need during difficult times, and to contribute to their health and well-being. Pediatrics is not just a specialty for me—it is the fulfillment of a lifelong passion, rooted in my earliest experiences and nurtured through years of education and training. I am ready to embark on this journey and to give my best to the children who will one day be under my care.”

Personal Statement Critique

Let’s review the essay above, so you can see what it got right and wrong. We’ll analyze it from the standpoint of the “do’s” when it comes to residency personal statements, and mention any shortcomings in connection to them.

1. Do: Start with a compelling narrative.

Success: The personal statement opens with a vivid memory from childhood, capturing the reader’s attention immediately. The story of the applicant’s sister’s asthma attack is a powerful way to illustrate early exposure to pediatrics, making it memorable and emotionally engaging. 

Critique: While the narrative is strong, it’s important to avoid over-reliance on early childhood experiences as the primary motivator for a career choice. This personal statement strikes a good balance between the applicant’s medical school experiences and early childhood memories. 

 2. Do: Reflect on your journey.

Success: The statement effectively reflects on the applicant’s journey through medical school, particularly by highlighting their connection with a pediatric patient who had a congenital heart defect. This section does a good job of showing how the applicant’s interest in pediatrics deepened through hands-on experience. 

 3. Do: Align with specialty specific values.

Success: The applicant mentions a desire to work in a residency that emphasizes community involvement, advocacy, and research, which aligns with many pediatric programs’ missions.

 4. Do: Showcase your unique qualities.

Success: The applicant highlights a range of experiences, including volunteering, rural clinic work, and research, which add depth to their profile. These experiences demonstrate a commitment to pediatrics and to serving underserved populations. 

5. Do: Finish strong. 

Success: The applicant concludes with a clear vision for their future in pediatrics, expressing a desire to contribute to the health and well-being of children through a holistic approach. 

Critique: While the vision is clear, the conclusion could be stronger by reiterating the connection between the applicant’s past experiences and future aspirations. A tie in to the intro paragraph would dovetail nicely. 

Overall, this personal statement is nice to read, with a compelling narrative and clear reflection on the applicant’s journey into pediatrics. It effectively conveys passion and a commitment to pediatric care, particularly in underserved communities.

However, it could be improved by making more connections between early experiences and current goals. There was no mention of any red flags or delays in education, which leads me to believe the applicant didn’t have any. However, if they did, then it should’ve been addressed in the personal statement. 

Final Thoughts

When writing a personal statement for residency, examples can really help illustrate what distinguishes a good essay from a bad one. Hopefully, these examples and tips give you a good sense of what should be included in your residency personal statement.

Good luck with your applications, and be sure to reach out to Blueprint’s residency counselors if you have any questions!

About the Author

Mike is a driven tutor and supportive advisor. He received his MD from Baylor College of Medicine and then stayed for residency. He has recently taken a faculty position at Baylor because of his love for teaching. Mike’s philosophy is to elevate his students to their full potential with excellent exam scores, and successful interviews at top-tier programs. He holds the belief that you learn best from those close to you in training. Dr. Ren is passionate about his role as a mentor and has taught for much of his life – as an SAT tutor in high school, then as an MCAT instructor for the Princeton Review. At Baylor, he has held review courses for the FM shelf and board exams as Chief Resident.   For years, Dr. Ren has worked closely with the office of student affairs and has experience as an admissions advisor. He has mentored numerous students entering medical and residency and keeps in touch with many of them today as they embark on their road to aspiring physicians. His supportiveness and approachability put his students at ease and provide a safe learning environment where questions and conversation flow. For exam prep, Mike will help you develop critical reasoning skills and as an advisor he will hone your interview skills with insider knowledge to commonly asked admissions questions.

How to Write a Personal Narrative: A Step-by-Step Guide

“As I sat down to write this article, memories flooded back, each one a brushstroke in the painting of my past…”

That could be the beginning of your personal narrative. Writing it lets you turn your memories and experiences into stories that click with others. This type of writing goes beyond school assignments or essays for college applications; it’s a chance to get really good at sharing your life's events in ways that matter. 

In this article, we're going to explore what personal narratives are all about and guide you through a simple seven-step process to create your own. You’ll learn how to pull out moments that make your story stand out and how to tweak your writing until it’s just right. We’ve got practical examples for you to follow along, making sure you have everything you need to tell your story. 

What is a Personal Narrative?

A personal narrative is a way to tell your own story. It's a style of writing that puts your experiences front and center, inviting readers into your world. Teachers often assign personal narratives to encourage free, expressive writing. 

The personal narrative definition is wider than academic settings, though. . These narratives can also show potential employers who you are beyond your resume. At its core, writing a personal narrative is a form of storytelling, using a first-person perspective to bring real-life tales to life. Whether it's for a grade, a job, or just for fun, it's about getting your story out there.

Your Story, Perfected

Let our experts refine your personal narrative, making sure every detail shines and your story is both clear and impactful.

How to Write a Personal Narrative: Steps

In this section, we'll break down the process into manageable steps, starting with how to zero in on the right topic that speaks about who you are.

Step 1. Choosing a Personal Narrative Topic

The first step in crafting your personal narrative is picking the perfect topic. It should be something meaningful to you, something that has not just happened, but also shaped who you are or has a significant story behind it. Here’s how to frame your personal narrative ideas:

• Story Arc : Your narrative is like a mini-movie. Start with setting the scene, build up to the main event, and wrap up with a reflection. For example, if you’re writing about your first solo travel experience, begin with your initial feelings, describe the challenges you faced, and end with what you learned about yourself.
• Thematic Focus : Instead of moving through time, center your narrative around a central theme. Maybe it’s about resilience, and you could link different times you had to be resilient, ending with a major life challenge.
• A Day to Remember : Sometimes a single day can tell a lot about you. Pick a day that was particularly memorable and unpack it from start to finish. Maybe it was a seemingly ordinary day that brought unexpected lessons or joys.

Step 2. Working on Your Personal Narrative Outline

When putting together your personal narrative, starting with a solid outline can help keep your story on track. Here's how you can lay it all out:

• Introduction: Kick things off with a hook that grabs attention, like an intriguing question or a vivid snapshot of a key moment. Set the scene and introduce the main theme.
• Setting and Characters : Give a good sense of where your story is unfolding and who's involved. Paint a clear picture of the backdrop and the key people.
• Plot Development : Lay out the events in the order they happened, or group them around major themes. Build up to your main event, adding conflicts or challenges as you go.
• Climax : This is the high point of your story, where everything comes to a head. Make it a moment that has the most impact.
• Resolution : Wrap up the main storyline, showing how things settled down after the climax.
• Reflection : Spend some time reflecting on what happened. Share what you learned or how you changed because of the experience.

If you're looking for help crafting your personal narrative, consider checking out some legit essay writing services to get professional guidance.

Step 3. Writing the First Draft of Your Personal Narrative

Now let’s move on to the fun part! Don't worry about getting everything perfect right away — the first draft’s goal is to let your story flow naturally:

• Start with Your Hook: Revisit the introduction you outlined and flesh it out. Begin with the attention-grabbing sentence that will make readers want to continue.
• Let the Story Unfold: Follow your outline, but allow yourself some flexibility. As you write, new memories or details may come to mind. Embrace them! Think about what you saw, heard, and felt during these moments. Were you sitting in a sunlit room, listening to the hum of a busy street outside? Maybe you felt the chill of an autumn breeze? 
• Stay True to Your Voice: This is your story, so let your unique voice shine through. Whether you're humorous, reflective, or serious, maintain a consistent tone that feels authentically you. Keep the tone conversational and straightforward, as if you’re telling this story to a friend. 

Once the first personal narrative draft is done, set it aside for a bit before revisiting it with fresh eyes.

Step 4. Revising Your Personal Narrative

Once the first personal narrative draft is done, set it aside for a bit before revisiting it with fresh eyes:

• Tighten Up the Story : As you go through your draft, focus on making everything clear and to the point. If you’ve talked about how nervous you were before a big event more than once, try to combine those thoughts into one powerful sentence that really captures how you felt.
• Keep Your Tone Consistent : Make sure your voice stays the same throughout the story. If you start off with a casual, conversational tone, like saying, “I couldn’t shake the nerves before my big test,” stick with that style instead of suddenly becoming formal later on.
• Adjust the Pacing : Pay attention to how smoothly your story flows from one part to the next. When you’re describing a key moment, like meeting someone important or going through a major experience, give it the detail and time it deserves. Let those moments develop naturally without rushing.
• Enhance Your Descriptions : Make your imagery more vivid to help the reader visualize your story. For example, instead of just saying, “The room was noisy,” you could say, “The room buzzed with excited chatter.” These small tweaks can make your story feel more alive and engaging.

Step 5. Adding Personal Touches

As you polish your personal narrative, focus on making it uniquely yours. You can include personal reflections on your experiences. For example, if you’re writing about a challenging project, discuss not just the struggle but how it impacted you personally and professionally.

Besides, add unique details that only you can share. Instead of generic descriptions, use specific anecdotes or sensory details, like how the scent of freshly baked cookies from your grandmother's kitchen made you feel nostalgic.

Last but not least, incorporate dialogues or direct quotes from people involved in your story to add authenticity and depth. For instance, if your mentor gave you advice, include their exact words to capture the moment’s impact. This approach will help you understand how to write a personal narrative that is both engaging and deeply personal.

Not sure where to begin? You can always buy a narrative essay from experts who can help shape your story.

Step 6: Editing for Clarity and Style

When you’re editing your personal narratives, the goal is to make sure everything flows smoothly and makes sense. Here’s how to get it just right:

• Clarify Your Message: Check for any parts of your story that might be a bit confusing. If you talked about being excited about a project and then suddenly shifted to its challenges, make sure to connect these thoughts clearly. For instance, you might rephrase it as “I was excited about the project, but I soon faced some unexpected challenges, like tight deadlines.”
• Simplify Complex Sentences: Break down long or complicated sentences. Instead of saying, “My enthusiasm for the project, which was incredibly high despite the difficulties I faced, was the driving force behind my perseverance,” you could simplify it to, “Even though the project was tough, my excitement kept me going.”
• Smooth Transitions: Check how your paragraphs and sections flow together. If you jump from describing a problem to the solution without a clear link, add a transition. For example, “After struggling with the project’s challenges, I realized that asking my mentor for help was the key to overcoming the obstacles.”

Oh, and read your narrative out loud. This can help you spot any awkward phrases or spots where the story might be a bit choppy. It’s a great way to catch any issues and make those final tweaks to get everything just right.

Personal Narrative Prompts

Here are ten personal narrative prompts to get you thinking about different moments in your life:

Need more tips on how to get started? Check out this guide on how to start a narrative essay to kick off your writing with a strong opening.

Personal Narrative Examples

Here are a few personal narrative beginnings to spark your creativity. These snippets are designed to get you started and inspire your own storytelling.

Wrapping Up

As you finish up your story, think about how those moments shaped who you are today. It's not just about what happened, but how it changed you. When learning how to write a personal narrative, it’s important to focus on the moments that truly matter to you and tell them in your own voice. This way, your narrative can really connect with others. 

Remember, the best stories come straight from the heart, so trust yourself and let your experiences shine through!

If you're working on a personal statement, you might want to explore a personal statement service that can help you create a compelling narrative.

Turn Memories into Masterpieces

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How to Start a Personal Narrative?

Can a personal narrative be about anything, what is the format of a personal narrative.

Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

• The New York Times. (2020, January 7). Personal Narrative Essay Winners. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/07/learning/personal-narrative-essay-winners.html

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How to Write a Family Essay with Examples

Writing about your family gives you a chance to think about your own experiences and what matters to you. It lets you look at how your family works together and share important stories from your life. This guide will help you write a good family essay that others will find interesting, whether you're doing it for school or just want to put your family's story on paper.

What is a Family Essay?

A family essay is a personal story that talks about your experiences with your family, your relationships, and what you value. It's a type of personal essay that teachers often ask students to write to see how well they can tell their family stories.

The main goal of a family essay is to share your own thoughts on family values, traditions, and how you're all connected. It's a chance to talk about the love in your family, share favorite memories, or describe the strong bonds between family members.

Useful Tips for Writing an Essay on Family Topics

To write a great family essay, you need to plan and write carefully. Here are some helpful tips:

• Start with something interesting: Begin your essay with a fun fact or story about your family to get the reader's attention right away.
• Make a clear main point: Write a short statement that sums up the main idea of your essay. This will guide your writing and help readers understand what you're focusing on.
• Do your research: Find out more about your family's history, traditions, and cultural background. This will make your essay more real and detailed.
• Organize your essay well: Arrange your thoughts into a clear introduction, middle sections, and conclusion. Each part should lead smoothly into the next.
• Use clear descriptions: Make your family members and experiences come to life with detailed descriptions. This will help readers feel connected to your story.
• Include your own thoughts: Share how you feel about family events or how your family works together. This makes your writing more real and personal.
• Check and fix your work: After you finish writing, take time to read over and improve your essay. Look for grammar mistakes, make sentences better, and make sure your ideas are clear.

When thinking about how to write about your family, remember that being real is important. Your own point of view and experiences will make your essay special.

Interesting Ideas on Family Essay Related Topics

Picking a good topic is important when writing about your family. Here are some ideas to get you thinking:

• How family traditions have changed over time
• How technology affects how families talk to each other
• Finding a balance between being yourself and what your family expects
• How extended family members fit into today's families
• What we learn from family arguments and how we solve them
• How cultural background affects how families work together
• What "family" means in different types of families
• Why family support is important for personal growth
• Dealing with differences between older and younger family members
• How shared experiences make family bonds stronger

When you write about these topics, think about how they relate to your own life. For example, if you're writing about how technology affects family communication, you could share a story about how video calls help you stay in touch with relatives who live far away.

Remember, the best family essays mix personal stories with concepts about how families work and how they fit into society.

Family Essay Example: Why family support is important for personal growth

“ Family support is similar to having a group of people who both encourage you and protect you. It's more than just having people nearby; it's about having individuals who truly want you to succeed. When I was afraid of speaking in front of others, my sister's encouraging words helped me get through my first presentation. And truthfully, who else but family would listen to you practice guitar poorly without complaining? This kind of support without conditions gives us the bravery to try new things outside of what we're used to. It's also a way to learn from others - I've learned many things, from cooking advice to useful life tips, from different family members. Even when we don't agree, we grow; those serious discussions at dinner taught me how to defend my opinions and express my thoughts clearly. Yes, family can be frustrating at times, but they're also the ones who will stop what they're doing to help you move or listen to you when you're worried late at night. This combination of care, challenges, and support creates a special environment where we can be our true selves and slowly become the best versions of ourselves. ”

Closing Remarks

Writing a family essay helps you learn about yourself and think deeply. It's a chance to look closely at your relationships, celebrate what makes your family special, and understand more about how your family affects your life and the world around you.

Remember, the process of writing about your family can be just as rewarding as the finished essay. Take this opportunity to think about how your family has shaped your life and let your true voice come through in your writing.

Ready to bring your family story to life? Let Aithor's intuitive AI writing tools help you write a compelling and heartfelt family essay that captures the essence of your unique experiences.

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12 Tips for Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Writing a strong personal essay is an essential component of the application process when you apply to Georgia College and State University (GCSU).  In the personal essay questions , the  themes of career goals, personal growth, and community service are often emphasised. The university asks the students to elaborate on why they are interested in a particular field of study or recount a challenging situation they went through and how they managed to resolve it. 

Students can demonstrate their skills, achievements, and values by using real-life experiences as examples. In addition, the university’s personal essay questions require students to strike a balance between self-reflection and storytelling. Students must also present clear knowledge of how their experiences and prospective goals relate to the institution’s values. 

However, some students do not have enough skills to effectively answer such questions while  applying to university. So, this guide is for such students. Here,  we will provide tips on  writing a personal statement and answering such essay questions in your university application. 

How to Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Georgia College aims to extend education outside of the classroom to support students' critical thinking abilities. Thus, they have incorporated such questions into the enrolment applications. Below are the 12 tips that will provide  assistance with your essay  questions and improve your chances of having your application accepted.

1. Know the Best Ideas for Your Essay

The personal essay questions Georgia College and State University are meant to add more insight into your application. In addition, the response to such personal essay topics helps the admission committee to know more about you. To write a strong essay, make sure that your thoughts are coherent and reflect your own experiences. 

Here, we are providing you with some tricks to come up with amazing ideas:

• Understand the prompt.
• Read the question carefully.
• Get the core ideas.

Ideas Brainstorming

• Recall life events that have shaped who you are today.
• Think about how your social, academic or cultural backgrounds have influenced you.
• Remember times when you overcame challenges or achieved milestones in life.
• Focus on strengths or areas of passion for you.

Your ideas must:

• Be relevant to the prompt.
• Be realistic.
• In line with what the university stands for.

2. Reflect on Your Experiences

As you prepare to apply to university, remember the experiences that have contributed to shaping you the way you are now. Your essay should show how these developments, interests, and objectives align with the university's mission and values.

Think about the following points while you reflect on your experiences:

Obstacles and Challenges

What barriers or hurdles have hindered your progress in the past, and what methods did you capitalise on to go beyond them? Which abilities were sharpened from these experiences? How did these experiences affect your outlook towards life and your goals?

Positions and Duties in Leadership

Retrace your steps and recount what you acquired. Restate lessons you learned from playing a leading role.

Academic Accomplishments and Interests

Reverse the positions, think about yourself, and concentrate on your various achievements in class. How did you develop an interest in these areas, and what have they done to help you reach your goals?

Development of the Self and Self-Awareness

Apart from considering one’s personal developments, consider the times when challenges or disappointments were faced and dealt with. When and how did you confront these challenges? What did you learn about yourself while doing so?

As you think about these events, think about the following questions:

• What skills did this encounter assist me in developing or improving?
• What changes has this encounter brought to my ambitions and goals?
• In what way does this experience relate to my aspirations and objectives?
• What values or principles did this experience instil or reinforce in me?
• What precise moments or stories can I draw on?

3. Don't Tell them a Story They Want; Tell them What You Want

When crafting your essays for applications, it is easy to get into the comfort zone of writing in a way that seems pleasant to the members of the admissions committee. This approach, however, often fails to showcase your point. Instead, it is advisable to be unapologetically bold and tell the story you want to tell, regardless of who it will appeal to. Understand that it is very important to be real in your essay.

When writing your personal statement, consider these points:

• Focus on how the engagement aspects of your essay have been drawn from your unique experiences. 
• Explain how being unique comes from expressing yourself on your own rather than what you believe the college would prefer to hear.
• Explain why authentic stories are more interesting as they are true and emotional.
• Argue that for your essay to capture attention, it is important to be free, vulnerable, and take risks in your narrative.
• Expressing your wishes reveals more about your true self, and that is what the college is looking for.

4. Be Authentic

Finding one’s values, beliefs, and passions is the heart of authenticity. This starts in the inner space where you try so hard to know yourself and decide which of your values are the most important. There is authenticity in overcoming the temptation to conform to other people’s expectations or remain true to one’s core beliefs. This offered a foundation of integrity and formed the basis of all other forms of honest living.

Here are some remarkable aspects of authenticity:

5. Keep it Concise

A well-developed statement is probably an important component of your university application. Therefore, this comprehensive guide is an opportunity to demonstrate your unique features, life history and aspirations to the admission committee.

Moreover, when it comes to providing an essay that stands out, there is a need to ensure that it is written interestingly and coherently and let it remain on topic. Here are some of the suggestions that can help you achieve this:

• Ensure that there is no room for ambiguity.
• Provide your readers with relevant examples.
• Avoid needless information.
• Choose simple and straight-to-the-point words.

6. Think Outside the Box!

Do not restrict yourself with commonly known details about yourself but be brave and include little more creativity in your paper.

Here are a few helpful hints that will assist you in doing so:

• Refusal may be miserable, but reluctantly tell the admissions committee your fabulous and unique achievements.
• In ways that are explosive to emotions or stretch one's imagination, draw a picture on the spare part of the essay and tell a story instead of better structuring it.

Most people approach the task of doing something different as a way of trying to succeed personally and professionally.

7. Use Proper Grammar and Spelling

In a personal statement, an applicant must pay attention to the structure of the essay, including spelling and grammatical conventions. To eliminate such mistakes, it is recommended to:

• Carry out a basic form to improve the writing of the essay.
• Utilise online resources for grammar and spell check.
• Seek feedback.

With these guidelines, students make sure that there will be no errors in answers to personal essay questions about grammar. It is also necessary to organise the document properly to be favourable to the admission board. In addition, you can also get samples from  legit essay writing firms in the UK   to understand the structure of personal essays for university applications. 

8. Revise Often and Edit

Here, we are going to look into the need to edit and revise the answers we have written for the personal essay questions. By following these strategies, you can make your essay stand out.

• Remove unnecessary elements and improve the organisation of your work.
• Make your arguments and their supporting evidence stronger.
• Improve grammatical errors and sentence fluency.
• Express more of who you are through words and speech.
• Rectify gaps and inconsistencies in your narratives.

Editing your essay requires you to also look at the spelling, grammar or punctuation of the essay. When doing so, particularly pay attention to grammar, punctuation, length of sentences, word choice, and consistency. 

How to start Editing your Essay?

Essay revision is checking the content, structure, and flow of the essay. While undertaking this process, take into consideration the following:

• Am I clear and focused in my thesis statement?
• Does the flow of my answers make sense?
• Do my anecdotes and examples of work support my points?
• Am I able to use the same voice/tone throughout the essay?
• Is there anything else that I could include to give more details?

9. Highlight Your Strengths

To stand out from other applicants, highlight your strengths in the essay. Before you put your pen on paper, spare a minute or two and try to recall particular events, achievements, and traits. To focus on your academic achievements, ask yourself:

• What are the specific achievements I have attained and the strong skills I possess in university?
• What are the objectives and aspirations I have about my career?
• What factors make me different from other people?

To highlight the strong points in your answer to personal essay questions, you can use examples and narratives. In addition, it is also advisable to highlight your soft skills and let your readers feel your passion and excitement.

10. Demonstrate Your Fit

A powerful piece detailing your personal experiences only works when you show how you fit into Georgia College and State University, its beliefs, and its aim. In addition, add the following salient features to your response to personal essay questions:

Background in Academia 

Talk about your academic history first, highlighting any academic projects that show your readiness for the school you are applying to. Give details of any awards, competitions, or activities that underscore your achievements in your area of study.

Experience That Matters

Mention any planned internships or previous work experience which is relevant to the degree or course you are looking for. Explain how these experiences shaped your career goals.

Link to the University

Why do you want to study at Georgia College and State University? Justify why you believe this particular university is the most suitable for you. Explain how you will be useful to the school community considering the faculty members, research facilities and university culture. 

Long-term Vision

Explain what the future is going to hold for you, particularly how you see the contribution you will make to the field of your choice after you finish the degree. Mention how your university education and experiences will create opportunities for you to achieve these goals and promote positive change as well. You may make arguments that positively reinforce yourself in terms of why you are a strong prospect for the program you are applying to. 

11. Get Started Early

It is very important to start dealing with the Georgia College and State University personal essay questions as soon as possible. If you plan early, you will have sufficient time to arrange and write the essay content and predictably proofread it. This is why it is necessary to commence at the earliest point.

Why, then, should you get started early? Here are some of the reasons:

• Stress is decreased when you start early!
• You'll generate more ideas if you give yourself more time to brainstorm!
• You may demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are serious about attending the university.  
• You are prepared to put in the time and effort to learn more about it by researching it and its core values.
• You'll have more time to proofread, edit, and refine your responses.

12. Seek Help When Needed

Assistance seeking is very important, particularly when responding to a personal essay question. One can feel immense pressure to perform well, and this is understandable. Furthermore, it’s important to recognise when you are stuck and need help. 

A teacher, mentor, or guidance counsellor offers support to craft a good paper. You can also  purchase your essay  from online resources that will lead to successful admission to your desired university. 

How to answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Here are the tips for answering these question types;

• Do not be afraid of making your voice heard. 
• Structure a clear and interesting essay.
• Make use of the words and writing skills that you already have.
• Write about yourself. But don't try to encapsulate your whole life!
• Answer the question that has been asked.
• Read it over again!
• Write on the internet in a networked word processor.

What should be included in College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

It is best to talk about both positive and negative matters, a humiliating experience, or a quality or interest that exemplifies your values. If you are honest about the issue, character flaws, or sad childhood events, the reader will find it far more credible. 

In addition, it will exhibit your personal life experiences that the admission panel wants to know. So, by including all the information, you can fulfil the true objective of such essay types in application forms. 

The importance of the personal essay questions in the Georgia College and State University application process enables candidates to make the best impression and talk more about themselves. An effective essay can provide a student’s perspective to the admission committees, which are usually standardised, and help to distinguish them from everyone else. 

Moreover, students can show in their essays how well they will integrate themselves into the programs by spinning a good and well-organised narrative. Finally, submitting an excellent personal essay shows that the candidate is open and honest. In addition, the applicant understands what the university is all about and its values. 

Students who follow such practice can write a good manuscript, which allows them to develop their competencies and increase their chances of being accepted into university. Thus, they can begin their developmental, educational, and achievement-oriented journey and fulfil all their academic and career ambitions.

Chris Bates

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Tiny Memoir Contest for Students: Write a 100-Word Personal Narrative

We invite teenagers to tell a true story about a meaningful life experience in just 100 words. Contest dates: Nov. 6 to Dec. 4, 2024.

By The Learning Network

Illustrations from Modern Love’s Tiny Love Stories , the inspiration for this contest.

Can you tell a meaningful and interesting true story from your life in just 100 words? That’s the challenge we pose to teenagers with our 100-Word Personal Narrative Contest, a storytelling form popularized by Modern Love’s Tiny Love Stories series .

After running this contest for two years, receiving a total of more than 25,000 entries, and honoring dozens of excellent miniature teen-written memoirs, we have discovered the answer is a resounding yes .

So, we challenge you to try it yourself.

We’re not asking you to write to a particular theme or to use a specific structure or style, but we are looking for short, powerful stories about a particular moment or event in your life. We want to hear your story, told in your unique voice, and we hope you’ll experiment with style and form to tell a tale that matters to you, in a way you enjoy telling it.

And, yes, it’s possible to do all that in only 100 words. For proof, just look at last year’s 15 winning entries . We also have a step-by-step guide full of advice that is grounded in 25 excellent 100-word mentor texts, as well as a rehearsal space , published for our first year’s contest, that has over 1,000 student-written mini memoirs. Because that space was so successful, we’re keeping it open for this year’s contest. We hope students will use it to get inspiration, experiment and encourage each other.

Take a look at the full guidelines and related resources below. Please post any questions you have in the comments and we’ll answer you there, or write to us at [email protected]. And, consider hanging this PDF one-page announcement on your class bulletin board.

Here’s what you need to know:

• Resources for Teachers and Students
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Submission Form

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Writing a Personal Statement

Preparing to Write

Brainstorming, don't forget, sample prompts.

A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program. It gives the selection committee the best opportunity to get to know you, how you think and make decisions, ways in which past experiences have been significant or formative, and how you envision your future. Personal statements can be varied in form; some are given a specific prompt, while others are less structured. However, in general a personal statement should answer the following questions:

• Who are you?
• What are your goals?
• How does this specific program/opportunity help you achieve your goals?
• What is in the future?

A personal statement is not:

• A variation of your college admissions essay
• An academic/research paper
• A narrative version of your resume
• A creative writing piece (it can be creative, though)
• An essay about somebody else

Keep in mind that your statement is only a portion of the application and should be written with this in mind. Your entire application package will include some, possibly all, of the materials listed below. You will want to consider what these pieces of the application communicate about you. Your personal statement should aim to tie everything together and fill in or address any gaps. There will likely be some overlap but be sure not to be too repetitive.

• Personal Statement(s)
• Transcripts
• Letters of recommendations
• Sample of written work
• Research proposal

For a quick overview of personal statements, you might begin by watching this "5 Minute Fellowships" video!

If you are writing your first personal statement or working to improve upon an existing personal statement, the video below is a helpful, in-depth resource.

A large portion of your work towards completing a personal statement begins well before your first draft or even an outline. It is incredibly important to be sure you understand all of the rules and regulations around the statement. Things to consider before you begin writing:

• How many prompts? And what are they? It is important to know the basics so you can get your ideas in order. Some programs will require a general statement of interest and a focused supplementary or secondary statement closely aligned with the institution's goals.
• Are there formatting guidelines? Single or double spaced, margins, fonts, text sizes, etc. Our general guideline is to keep it simple.
• How do I submit my statement(s)? If uploading a document we highly suggest using a PDF as it will minimize the chances of accidental changes to formatting. Some programs may event ask you to copy and paste into a text box.
• When do I have to submit my statement(s)? Most are due at the time of application but some programs, especially medical schools, will ask for secondary statements a few months after you apply. In these instances be sure to complete them within two weeks, any longer is an indication that you aren't that interested in the institution.

Below is a second 5 Minute Fellowships video that can help you get started!

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences and motivations as they relate to the programs to which you are applying. This will offer you a chance to organize your thoughts which will make the writing process much easier. Below are a list of questions to help you get started:

• What individuals, experiences or events have shaped your interest in this particular field?
• What has influenced your decision to apply to graduate school?
• How does this field align with your interests, strengths, and values?
• What distinguishes you from other applicants?
• What would you bring to this program/profession?
• What has prepared you for graduate study in this field? Consider your classes at Wellesley, research and work experience, including internships, summer jobs and volunteer work.
• Why are you interested in this particular institution or degree program?
• How is this program distinct from others?
• What do you hope to gain?
• What is motivating you to seek an advanced degree now?
• Where do you see yourself headed and how will this degree program help you get there?

For those applying to Medical School, if you need a committee letter for your application and are using the Medical Professions Advisory Committee you have already done a lot of heavy lifting through the 2017-2018 Applicant Information Form . Even if you aren't using MPAC the applicant information form is a great place to start.

Another great place to start is through talking out your ideas. You have a number of options both on and off campus, such as: Career Education advisors and mentors ( you can set up an appointment here ), major advisor, family, friends. If you are applying to a graduate program it is especially important to talk with a faculty member in the field. Remember to take good notes so you can refer to them later.

When you begin writing keep in mind that your essay is one of many in the application pool. This is not to say you should exaggerate your experiences to “stand out” but that you should focus on clear, concise writing. Also keep in mind that the readers are considering you not just as a potential student but a future colleague. Be sure to show them examples and experiences which demonstrate you are ready to begin their program.

It is important to remember that your personal statement will take time and energy to complete, so plan accordingly. Every application and statement should be seen as different from one another, even if they are all the same type of program. Each institution may teach you the same material but their delivery or focus will be slightly different.

In addition, remember:

• Be yourself: You aren’t good at being someone else
• Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are
• Research the institution or organization
• Proofread, proofread, proofread
• How to have your personal statement reviewed

The prompts below are from actual applications to a several types of programs. As you will notice many of them are VERY general in nature. This is why it is so important to do your research and reflect on your motivations. Although the prompts are similar in nature the resulting statements would be very different depending on the discipline and type of program, as well as your particular background and reasons for wanting to pursue this graduate degree.

• This statement should illustrate your academic background and experiences and explain why you would excel in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UMass Amherst - M.S. in Civil Engineering).
• Describe your academic and career objectives and how the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies can help you achieve them. Include other considerations that explain why you seek admissions to the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies and your interests in the environmental field (Yale - Master of Environmental Management).  
• Please discuss your academic interests and goals. Include your current professional and research interests, as well as your long-range professional objectives. Please be as specific as possible about how your objectives can be met at Clark and do not exceed 800 words (Clark University - M.A. in International Development and Social Change).
• Write a 500- to 700-word statement that describes your work or research. Discuss how you came to focus on the medium, body of work, or academic area you wish to pursue at the graduate level. Also discuss future directions or goals for your work, and describe how the Master of Fine Arts in Studio (Printmedia) is particularly suited to your professional goals (School of the Art Institute of Chicago - MFA in Studio, Printmaking).
• Your statement should explain why you want to study economics at the graduate level. The statement is particularly important if there is something unusual about your background and preparation that you would like us to know about you (University of Texas at Austin - Ph.D in Economics).
• Your personal goal statement is an important part of the review process for our faculty members as they consider your application. They want to know about your background, work experience, plans for graduate study and professional career, qualifications that make you a strong candidate for the program, and any other relevant information (Indiana University Bloomington - M.S.Ed. in Secondary Education).
• Your autobiographical essay/personal statement is a narrative that outlines significant experiences in your life, including childhood experiences, study and work, your strengths and aspirations in the field of architecture, and why you want to come to the University of Oregon (University of Oregon - Master of Architecture).
• Personal history and diversity statement, in which you describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may refer to any educational, familial, cultural, economic or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education (U.C. Davis - M.A. in Linguistics).
• A Personal Statement specifying your past experiences, reasons for applying, and your areas of interest. It should explain your intellectual and personal goals, why you are interested in pursuing an interdisciplinary degree rather than a more traditional disciplinary one, and how this degree fits into your intellectual and personal future (Rutgers University - Ph.D in Women’s and Gender Studies).
• Your application requires a written statement to uploaded into your application and is a critical component of your application for admission. This is your opportunity to tell us what excites you about the field of library and information science, and what problems you want to help solve in this field. Please also tell us how your prior experiences have prepared you for this next step toward your career goals and how this program will help you achieve them (University of North Carolina Chapel Hill - Master of Science in Library Science).
• After watching the video, please describe what strengths and preferences as a learner you have that will facilitate your success in this innovative curriculum. What challenges in our curriculum do you anticipate and what strategies might you use to address these challenges? (MGH Institute of Health Professions PT - They recently redesigned their curriculum)
• Your personal goal statement should briefly describe how you view the future of the field, what your goals are to be part of that future, and what brought you to pursue an advanced education degree in your chosen field. You may include any other information that you feel might be useful. (Northeastern PT)
• Personal Statement: In 500 words or less, describe a meaningful educational experience that affected your professional goals and growth and explain how it impacted you. The educational experience does not need to be related to this degree. Focus on the educational experience and not why you think you would be a good professional in this field. (Simmons PT)
• Personal Statement (500 word minimum): State your reasons for seeking admission to this program at this institution. Include your professional goals, why you want to pursue a career in this field and how admission to this program will assist you in accomplishing those goals. (Regis College Nursing)
• “Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to this type of program.” (AMCAS)
• Address the following three questions(Though there is no set limit, most statements are 1–2 pages, single-spaced.): What are your reasons for pursuing this degree? Why do you wish to pursue your degree at this institution? How do you intend to leverage your degree in a career of this field? (Boston University MPH)
• Please submit a personal statement/statement of purpose of no more than 500 words for the department/degree of choice. Professional degree essays require a clear understanding of the _______ field and how you hope to work within the field. Be sure to proofread your personal statement carefully for spelling and grammar. In your statement, be sure to address the following: what interests you in the field of _____ what interests you in a specific degree program and department at this institution and what interests you in a particular certificate (if applicable). Please also describe how you hope to use your ________ training to help you achieve your career goals. (Columbia PhD in Public Health - Epidemiology)
• Because each Home Program requires significant original research activities in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree, we are interested in obtaining as much information as possible about your previous research experiences. Those who already have such experience are in a better position to know whether they are truly interested in performing ______ research as part of a graduate program. Please include specific information about your research experience in your Statement of Purpose. You may also use the Statement to amplify your comments about your choice of Home Program(s), and how your past experiences and current interests are related to your choice. Personal Statements should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). Make sure to set your computer to Western European or other English-language setting. We cannot guarantee the ability to access your statement if it is submitted in other fonts. (Stanford Biosciences PhD)
• Your statement of purpose should describe succinctly your reasons for applying to the Department of ____ at ___ University. It would be helpful to include what you have done to prepare for this degree program. Please describe your research interests, past research experience, future career plans and other details of your background and interests that will allow us to evaluate your ability to thrive in our program. If you have interests that align with a specific faculty member, you may state this in your application. Your statement of purpose should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). (Stanford Bioengineering PhD)
• Statement of purpose (Up to one page or 1,000 words): Rather than a research proposal, you should provide a statement of purpose. Your statement should be written in English and explain your motivation for applying for the course at this institution and your relevant experience and education. Please provide an indication of the area of your proposed research and supervisor(s) in your statement. This will be assessed for the coherence of the statement; evidence of motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study; the ability to present a reasoned case in English; and commitment to the subject. (Oxford Inorganic Chemistry - DPhil)

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