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• Describe the world you come from

Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Most children acquire the same eye color or a similar shaped nose from their parents, but I’ve inherited much more: a passion for learning and an insatiable curiosity which has served me well throughout my academic career. My father, an electrical engineer, taught me to explore the world with inquisitive eyes, constantly seeking to learn more, to understand more. I watched him for hours as he worked on elevator schematics at home, wondering what all the various symbols and lines meant. I was fascinated by technology and wanted to know how and why things worked the way they did.

“How does this toaster work?” “What’s inside this VCR?” I was never satisfied with the simplified answers that my parents gave to these questions. So I discovered many answers for myself by exploring and experimenting.

My playground was a jumble of old circuit boards, spare electric wire, and an assortment of broken appliances. I spent hours disassembling and tinkering with the amazing treasures I found lying around our garage. My mother, a first grade teacher, noticed my intellectual curiosity and encouraged my childhood explorations. She gave me piles of mind-opening children’s books, which I willingly read. Books like “What Makes Popcorn Pop, and Other Questions about the World around Us” allowed me to discover the irresistible appeal of imaginative questions and their fascinating answers.

I was given a remarkable amount of freedom at a young age. When I was 8, my parents bought an old computer for $25 from a local yard sale with the intention of letting me loose on it. I was thrilled. Motivated by curiosity, I delved into it at once and learned how to use each and every feature of the computer’s antiquated MS-DOS operating system. With my father’s help and an old programming book by my side, I even created simple videogames for my younger brother to play.

My parents taught me to be independent and self-motivated by providing me opportunities to learn by trial and error. I recall an episode where my parents bought a new microwave when I was just 10 years old. As they unpacked the microwave, I caught sight of the owner’s manual and asked to see it. After reading the 40-page text front-to-back, I learned one very important thing: how to use a feature called “child lock,” or as I saw it, “parent lock.” By pressing a special sequence of buttons on the microwave, I disabled it, thus protecting my parents from the dangers of using the appliance without my supervision. Until this day, the first thing I do after buying a new gadget is read the entire manual, in search of nifty features.

My intellectual curiosity is the result of a unique combination of early influences and childhood experiences which have fueled my passion for learning inside and outside of the classroom -- learning from everything I do. I hope to continue applying this curiosity to all aspects of my life, exploring the world through the eyes of my childhood persona. By refusing to accept the obvious explanation, refusing to settle for a superficial understanding, and refusing to endure the status quo, great American innovators like my role model Benjamin Franklin created new knowledge, new technologies, and new innovations. I strive to do the same. It’s part of who I am, and what drives me to become successful and happy.

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How to Write Outstanding MIT Supplemental Essays (With 5 Real Examples)

This is your complete guide to writing outstanding MIT supplemental essays.

(Step-by-step)

We all know MIT is math- and science- focused.

But MIT isn't looking for students who can just do the work (most students applying to MIT already can).

You need to be able to tackle dense STEM subjects and communicate your ideas effectively.

Which is why your supplemental essays are still incredibly important for MIT.

Let's dive right in.

How to Write the MIT Essay Prompts for 2024

According to MIT Admissions , there are 4 required MIT supplemental essays for 2024 which they ask you to answer in "approximately 200 words."

The MIT essay prompts for 2024 are:

MIT Essay Prompt #1: "Activity for Pleasure"

Prompt #1. We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (About 200 words)

This is a quintessential "extracurricular activity" essay.

MIT wants to know what you do for fun, and how you spend your time outside of school.

But they don't want to hear about your "resume" activities. MIT already provides their own Activities Section for that.

Instead, this prompt is about sharing something that reveals who you are as a person , not just what you do.

How to Answer MIT Essay Prompt #1

Your goal with this essay should be simple:

Let the admissions officer understand exactly why this activity is enjoyable to you.

You want them to be able to understand your thought process and how you see the world.

To bring them into your world, you need to show where exactly you find pleasure in this activity.

How to Choose an Activity for MIT Essay Prompt #1

First, here's what topics you should avoid or be careful about writing:

• Activities already on your activities list. You want to reveal something new about yourself. - Generic or broad activities (e.g. "I like to read"). - Common activities without having an uncommon angle (e.g. "I like to play video games"). - A "big" activity (e.g. "I love working on my non-profit to help the homeless"). - Focus on the activity itself, rather than what ideas it represent.

Why? Because these topics are overdone and easily cliché.

Instead of focusing on the activity itself, your essay should be an exploration of an idea.

• Biking around your neighborhood? → An exploration of the unknown and what it means to be free
• Doodling extensive notes and diagrams while on plane rides? → Your exploration of imagination and elaborate daydreams
• Creating a new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner? → How exactly and at what point something becomes tradition

Here's how you can find your own unique topic:

• Focused on ideas. Ask questions like, "Why do I really enjoy this activity?" or "What ideas does this activity represent?" - Be unapologetically honest. Even if your activity seems silly or trivial, you can make it meaningful by connecting to an idea of what it represents.
• Be ultra-specific. Don't write about "drawing" or "playing the piano." Write about "drawing pictures of random people on the subway" or "writing fugal counterpoint." - A "small" activity. Something close to home. Then, connect to a bigger idea. If you like to draw pictures of people on the subway, you could write your love of questioning the seemingly mundane and overlooked.

MIT is a highly intellectual school.

They want to see that you're a strong, deep thinker who can connect the dots between seemingly unrelated things.

Here's the deal:

Focus on writing about ideas , not just the literal activity itself. What does this activity represent ? What unexpected connections can you form?

MIT Essay Example #1: "Activity for Pleasure"

Here's an example of a great response to MIT's first essay prompt.

This essay was written when the prompt was limited to only 100 words, so it's a little shorter than the current 200-word limit.

You can still use this essay as inspiration for your own MIT supplemental essays.

Prompt: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words max)

After combining the ingredients came an hour-long wait. I tapped my fingers, paced the kitchen, watched the clock anxiously. Time to shape the dough. Then another 30-minute wait. Stress. Dough in the oven! 40-minute wait. The aroma of freshly baked bread wafted lazily through my kitchen, impossibly tantalizing, evoking daydreams of quaint little French bakeries, ceilings stacked high with masterpieces of flour. Holding the bread to my ear, squeezing, I was reminded of the quote from Ratatouille, how great bread is distinguished by the sound, the “symphony of crackle”. Finally, finally , it was time to eat.

Why This Essay Works

• It's not a "big" activity. It's a small, everyday activity that's close to home. - It's not an activity on the author's Activity List, so it reveals something new. - It's ultra-specific: the author doesn't just say "I like to bake bread," they show us exactly what that looks like. - It has a sense of voice . The author writes informally and stylistically, without being casual.

What Could Be Improved

• Connect the activity to a bigger idea. What does baking bread represent? What does it mean to them? - Too much time spent describing the activity itself. The author could have spent more time on the "why" and "how" of the activity, which is more interesting.

I'm sure if this student had 200 words, they would have been able to expand on the "why" and "how" of their activity.

That said, this is still a great example of showing your personality through a small, everyday activity.

It doesn't need to be big or impressive. It doesn't need to be "quirky" or unique.

It just needs to be a meaningful activity that's close to home.

Then show us why it brings you pleasure. Specifically and vividly.

Allow the reader to relate to you and understand your thought process.

MIT Essay Prompt #2: "World You Come From"

Prompt #2. Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Prompt #3. MIT brings people with diverse backgrounds and experiences together to better the lives of others. Our students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way you have collaborated with people who are different from you to contribute to your community.

Prompt #4. Tell us about a significant challenge you’ve faced (that you feel comfortable sharing) or something that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

Prompt: Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words max)

I remember boiling down cabbage with my dad to make titration indicators. When I first read about the process of translation, of rendering mRNA into proteins, my eyes filled with tears; this is what I would do, apply the chemistry that had defined my childhood to my love of biology. In the past few months alone, MIT researchers have visualized a critical growth kinase and decoded the kavalactone gene. To major in both the chemistry and biology departments at MIT would be an unequaled opportunity to explore the molecular basis of life and apply that knowledge to real-world innovation.

Prompt: Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

I grew up in a household with a physicist and a chemist. Our cupboards are occupied by periodic table mugs, our closets by t-shirts with taglines like “velociraptor= displacementeraptor/timeraptor”.

Underneath all the unabashed nerdiness, my parents fostered an environment of inquiry. Our kitchen moonlighted as a laboratory, complete with burets. My mom once brought home a 3D printed likeness of her own brain; I traced each sulcus in wonderment, imagining how each fold shaped her personality. My house was a sanctuary, a place where no question was too small, no claim uninvestigated.

It is precisely this background that drew me to research. Spending the past two summers in a neuroscience clinic, I found my second home surrounded by quirky med students, exhausted post-docs, and incisive surgeons. I felt more comfortable than I ever had in high school; loving science was no longer an embarrassment, but an asset. Lunch was spent in discussion about anticipatory alpha activity, and that’s just how I liked it. Though we used EEG’s in place of homemade indicators, MATLAB instead of “borrowed” dry ice, we were working towards the fundamental goal I’d spent my childhood developing: finding new knowledge.

Every one of my dreams can be traced back to my past, to individuals and experiences that have shaped the way I see the world and how I hope to better it. My parent's passion for learning by doing was passed down to me, finding its intersection with my love for the brain in one field: neurosurgery.

Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

Bluntly put, moving in high school was difficult. I remember waving good-bye to my best friend through tear-filled eyes. I remember staying up the night before the first day at my new school, dreading having to eat lunch alone. I remember crying on my birthday. Most of all, I remember hating how my life had become a movie cliche, how I had seemingly been reduced to a shell of myself by relocating 399.2 miles south.

Resolute in my desire to restore some semblance of normalcy, I started running incremental exploratory missions on this alien planet. I joined Science Olympiad, finding comfort in the companionship of fellow biology geeks. Fulfilling a longtime goal, I joined a volunteer station and became an EMT, loving the urgency of working in an ambulance and the unique satisfaction of saving a life. I spent countless hours reading papers about spinal cord stimulation, temporarily forgetting my social isolation with academic collaboration. I learned to drive, much to my parent’s chagrin.

Though I still had the occasional bad day (as do we all), things were looking up. Reluctant optimism replaced hopeless despair as I became more confident in my abilities and less reliant on the context in which I applied them. Moving compelled me to meet different people, try new things, and succeed in an environment I hadn’t grown up in. The result was resilience, a firm belief that with hard work, a willingness to diversify, and a little self-deprecation, no situation was impossible, no crisis un-manageable.

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Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

MIT Admitted Essay

Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

UPenn Admitted Essay

A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

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46 Essays that Worked at MIT

Updated for the 2024-2025 admissions cycle.

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The Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) is a world-renowned research university based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Known for its prioritization of intellectual freedom and innovation, MIT offers students an education that’s constantly on the cutting-edge of academia. The school’s star-studded roster of professors includes Nobel prize winners and MacArthur fellows in disciplines like technology, biology, and social science. A deeply-technical school, MIT offers students with the resources they need to become specialists in a range of STEM subjects. In many ways, MIT is the gold standard for creativity, critical thinking, and problem solving.

Unique traditions at MIT

1. "Ring Knocking": During the weeks preceding the MIT Commencement Ceremony, graduating students celebrate by finding a way to touch the MIT seal in the lobby of Building 10 with their newly-received class rings. 2. "Steer Roast": Every year in May, the MIT Science Fiction Society hosts a traditional event on the Killian Court lawn for incoming freshmen. During the Steer Roast, attendees cook (and sometimes eat) a sacrificial male cow and hang out outside until the early hours of the morning. 3. Pranking: Pranking has been an ongoing tradition at MIT since the 1960s. Creative pranks by student groups, ranging from changing the words of a university song to painting the Great Dome of the school, add to the quirkiness and wit of the MIT culture. 4. Senior House Seals: The all-senior undergraduate dormitory of Senior House is known for its yearly tradition of collecting and displaying seals, which are emblems that represent the class of the graduating seniors.

Programs at MIT

1. Global Entrepreneurship Lab (G-Lab): G-Lab provides undergraduate and graduate students with the skills to build entrepreneurial ventures that meet developing world challenges. 2. Mars Rover Design Team: This club is part of the MIT Student Robotics program that provides students with the engineering, design, and fabrication skills to build robots for planetary exploration. 3. Media Lab: The Media Lab is an interdisciplinary research lab that explores new technologies to allow individuals to create and manipulate communication presentation of stories, images, and sounds. 4. Independent Activities Period (IAP): A month-long intersession program that allows students to take courses and participate in extracurricular activities from flying classes to volunteering projects and sports. 5. AeroAstro: A club that provides students with the opportunity to learn about aerospace engineering and build model rockets.

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Real Essays from MIT Admits

Prompt: mit brings people with diverse backgrounds and experiences together to better the lives of others. our students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. describe one way you have collaborated with people who are different from you to contribute to your community..

Last year, my European History teacher asked me to host weekly workshops for AP test preparation and credit recovery opportunities: David, Michelangelo 1504. “*Why* is this the answer?” my tutee asked. I tried re-explaining the Renaissance. Michelangelo? The Papacy? I finally asked: “Do you know the story of David and Goliath?” Raised Catholic, I knew the story but her family was Hindu. I naively hadn’t considered she wouldn’t know the story. After I explained, she relayed a similar story from her culture. As sessions grew to upwards of 15 students, I recruited more tutors so everyone could receive more individualized support. While my school is nearly half Hispanic, AP classes are overwhelmingly White and Asian, so I’ve learned to understand the diverse and often unfamiliar backgrounds of my tutees. One student struggled to write idiomatically despite possessing extensive historical knowledge. Although she was initially nervous, we discovered common ground after I asked about her Rohan Kishibe keychain, a character from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. She opened up; I learned she recently immigrated from China and was having difficulty adjusting to writing in English. With a clearer understanding of her background, I could now consider her situation to better address her needs. Together, we combed out grammar mistakes and studied English syntax. The bond we formed over anime facilitated honest dialogue, and therefore genuine learning.

Essay by Víctor

i love cities <3

Prompt: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it.

I slam the ball onto the concrete of our dorm’s courtyard, and it whizzes past my opponents. ******, which is a mashup of tennis, squash, and volleyball, is not only a spring term pastime but also an important dorm tradition. It can only be played using the eccentric layout of our dorm’s architecture and thus cultivates a special feeling of community that transcends grade or friend groups. I will always remember the amazing outplays from yearly tournaments that we celebrate together. Our dorm’s collective GPA may go significantly down during the spring, but it’s worth it.

Essay by Brian

CS, math, and economics at MIT

Prompt: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

The fragile glass beaker shattered on the ground, and hydrogen peroxide, flowing furiously like lava, began to conquer the floor with every inch the flammable puddle expanded. This was my solace. As an assistant teacher for a middle school STEM class on the weekends, mistakes were common, especially those that made me mentally pinpoint where we kept the fire extinguishers. However, these mishaps reminded me exactly why I loved this job (besides the obvious luxury of cleaning up spills): every failure was a chance to learn in the purest form. As we conducted chemical experiments or explored electronics kits, I was comforted by the kids’ genuine enthusiasm for exploration—a sentiment often lost in the grade-obsessed world of high school. Accordingly, I tried to help my students recognize that mistakes are often the most productive way to grow and learn. I encouraged my students to persist when faced with failure, especially those who might not have been encouraged in their everyday lives. I was there for students like Nathan, a child on the autism spectrum who reminded me of my older brother with autism. I was there for the two girls in a class of 17, reminding me of my own journey navigating the male-dominated world of STEM. I wanted to encourage them into a lifelong journey of pursuing knowledge and embracing mistakes. I may have been their mentor, but these lessons also serve as a crucial reminder to me that mistakes are not representative of one’s overall worth.

Essay by Sarah J.

CS @ Stanford

One of my earliest memories is pouring over National Geographic magazines with my older brother. As I examined the photographs and illustrations, he attempted to explain the intricacies of the solar system or the mysteries of deep-sea creatures. I have always been enthralled by the expanse of scientific knowledge and the infinite list of unanswered questions.

[Place Redacted], where I grew up, has been a breeding ground for innovation since its days revolutionizing the steel industry. More recently, [Place Redacted] has become a center for medicine, information technology, and robotics. Growing up near the University of [Place Redacted] and Carnegie Mellon University, I’ve been fortunate to pursue unique biomedical research opportunities and participate in the [Place Redacted] Regional Science and Engineering Fair, from which I was selected to compete at ISEF.

[Place Redacted] is also a center for the arts, with world class music and dance. I’ve had the opportunity to study at [Place Redacted] Ballet Theatre for 13 years, performing alongside professional dancers in productions such as Romeo and Juliet and the Nutcracker. Beyond the technicalities of pliés and tendus, ballet taught me about discipline and collaboration – lessons I apply to everyday life. Ballet also encompassed community service. I have enjoyed performing for children with autism and recognize how our ballet community brings joy to other communities.

Each of these experiences has fueled my desire to explore STEM fields and will continue to as I collaborate on biomedical research to improve the lives of others.

Essay by Z.L.

Dancing, crafting, and studying Computer Science at Stanford!

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Someone with the same interests, stats, and background as you

How to Write the MIT Essays 2020-2021

The recording will load in a moment., about this livestream, massachusetts institute of technology | mit.

Learn how to write the MIT essays and distinguish yourself as an applicant that is the right fit for MIT.

Hale Jaeger will provide an in-depth breakdown of each of the essays, discussing how to optimize and tailor a response to each one by breaking down the purpose of the prompts.

He'll also open up the floor to answer any and all questions about the MIT-specific essay prompts. If you’re not sure where to start, this livestream will help you figure out the best plan for you.

Video Transcript:

In today's presentation on writing the MIT application essays for the 2020 2021 cycle, I am a current senior at Yale University. So while I am not an MIT student, and can't necessarily answer all of your questions about what it's like to go to MIT, this is my fifth year working with CollegeVine through the admission cycle. So I have lots of experience with writing these kinds of essays. So I'm really prepared to answer those questions. So please, please feel free to throw those questions into the chat box on your screens throughout the evening. I will try to answer the questions as we go. But if not, if I don't get to your question, in the moment, we are going to end with a q&a session. So if I don't get to your questions in the beginning, I'll try to make sure to answer them by the time we wrap up for the night. Without further ado, though, I'm going to jump right in to the presentation. And so that starts with just what we're going to be covering today. We'll start with a little bit of background about MIT and about the college applications process. And then we'll take take a deep dive into each of the essays that you will be asked to answer and asked to write for the MIT application. And like I said, we'll end with opening the floor for q&a.

So just to jump into the background, MIT is a private research university located in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Cambridge is contiguous to Boston. It's also the home of Harvard University. So it has a lot of connections with Boston and with other institutions, namely Harvard, and you can actually take some classes at Harvard if you're an MIT student, and vice versa. It is a really highly regarded institution as well as ranked number three and a tie. US News and World Report's for 2020. And it's especially well known for its STEM programs, though it is also really highly regarded for its business program. It's definitely a selective school, and it offers an early action rather than early decision. But if you're not ready to, if you haven't already submitted your application, if you're watching this presentation, you're likely headed for the regular action deadline, or maybe you're prepping for next year. And so that early action is something to keep in mind.

Just a quick overview on what's important to know about college essays is that these are part of the holistic application process, they are not necessarily going to be considered for exactly 30% of your application, but they do get a pretty heavy weight, because they are the best place for a reader to get to know you and your personality. So usually, these essays are about 700 words or fewer anywhere between really 100 to 700. And some schools ask you to write several and other schools only asked for one or two, as you saw MIT is on the longer end, and that they ask for more than one essay, but they're all fairly short. And these are a great place to reveal something about yourself who you are, again, this is part of that personal component of the application. And so you want to be sure to convey something meaningful about your personality and who you are beyond your grades and your test scores. And whatever else is on your resume. It's important to know that MIT is not on the common app. It has its own application. And so for that reason, they asked a bunch of questions. And none of them is a personal statement per se, but they have questions that span the entire spectrum of what a college might ask. And so they're fairly straightforward. But that doesn't mean you can give generic answers, you definitely want to make them personal to you and to MIT, in order to build a connection with the school as we go forward. And so make sure you are using authentic reasoning and specific details that added personal dimension to your writing, and helps you to stand out.

And the case of a school like MIT that has so many essays, you have to treat them sort of as a portfolio. What that means is that they shouldn't all be considered in a vacuum. Each of them is going to be one facet of your application and the same reader is going to look at all the essays you submit. So they'll have some context that That being said, they don't necessarily read them all. In order, so you don't want to rely on one or site one in another essay, they should each stand alone, but they should provide a different dimension of your cohesive application, they should complement one another, not be repetitive.

So jumping into the MIT essays, as I said, they're not using the common application, they use my MIT their own proprietary application product. And so what that looks like is five unique supplementary essays, plus one additional optional essay that I'll talk about at the very end. And so as you're starting those off, we're just going to read through what the prompts are that you're going to be asked to respond to. The first prompt is describe the world you come from, for example, you're fed family clubs, school, community, city or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations 250 words or fewer. The second prompt asks you to pick what field of study at MIT appeals to you the most right now and tell us more about why this field of study appeals to you in 100 words or fewer. The third prompt asks, we know you lead a busy life full of activities, many of which are required of you tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it in 200 to 250 words. And then the last two prompts here are at MIT, we can bring people together to better the lives of others, MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways from tackling the world's biggest challenges to being a good friend, describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. 200 to 250 words. And lastly, tell us about the most significant challenge you faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation 200 to 250 words. Like I said, there's also that optional essay at the end, which asks you to in 150 words, or fewer talk about your cultural background if it's been important to you.

So jumping forward into the first prompt, as we do that, I want to throw a question to you guys. So I'll be launching a poll, it'll be great to get some feedback from you just to understand where everyone is in the cycle. So I'll be asking you some questions throughout, please do give me some answers there, because it'll be really helpful for us. But without any further ado, we're going to talk about the first question about the world you came from. Whether that means your family clubs, school, community, city or town, and they want to know how it shaped your dreams and aspirations. So what this essay is asking you to do is reflect on your past and your present, to see how it's shaped your future. And so this is a pretty common essay type. It's asking you about your community and the place that you call home. So start maybe by thinking about your aspirations, and working backwards, what are your goals? What do you hope to achieve, especially after college, and how has your community helped you to realize those goals to understand and recognize them. You can also work you know from in a chronological kind of way, rather than working backwards from your aspirations. You can think about it in terms of what is a community that's really important to me, which community is really formative in my life? And what has it taught me and which goals and aspirations because has that influenced, so you can work at it from either direction. But as this last bullet says, you're reflecting on the past and present, to take a look into the future, that's going to be something that you hear me say a lot in this presentation. And in every other one. It's all about taking your past experiences, and seeing where they're headed and seeing where they're directing you to.

So, to give an example of what this kind of essay might look like, we have an example here about breathing fresh air. Okay. So maybe you are somebody who has grown up in a very smoggy city like Los Angeles or Beijing. Beijing is a really interesting example because it's a place where the air quality is so bad, a lot of the time that people are often seen wearing masks, even pre pandemic. And so, you grew up in this place, or maybe you spent a couple years there, and it made you realize how important it is for us to transition towards green energy and that has sort of fueled your passion for sustainability and green technologies and eco friendly practice. And so now you want to study environmental engineering, and architecture. And that's what you're interested in pursuing as a career. It doesn't necessarily have to be a career goal that you explore here, especially because you do answer a question about your major in the next product. But that's a usually a pretty good concrete place to pin an aspiration, you don't necessarily have to stick to what this is, this is not asking you to set your future in stone, of course, but it's an example for you to keep in the back of your mind.

Another example of an essay, responding to this prompt might be about a children's hospital, for example, if your parents work as pediatric nurses at the Children's Hospital nearby, and you spent a lot of time there watching your parents work with these kids. And to the point where the hospital is basically your second home, and you're observing, and you're learning and you're taking it all in, and maybe you grew up and you started volunteering at the hospital. And you could focus on a lot of different things. Why, for example, you know, if it was really painful for you to see kids suffer, but you also get to see this glimpse of hope, and people who really care about getting better and making other people better. And seeing how much joy The staff was able to bring to the patients to their families, and the community around you. So maybe this is, you know, undercutting your, or underscoring your motivation to go to medical school or to become a nurse yourself, like your parents and spread hope, you know, in this kind of setting.

So just sort of in conclusion on this type of essay, and this particular prompt, every one of the examples that I mentioned here is recreating or retelling an important story, and maybe a moment a single anecdote that analyzes how the world that you're talking about, led to the realization of the goals and aspirations you have for the future. So it's that it's that future look that forward facing direction, towards personal growth, that shows what this essay is really asking you to do, which is to reflect on what your dreams are, and where they came from. And while this, this says, preferably tied to your career, and missions, partly because that's an easy way to put it in perspective of your own future. But it doesn't necessarily have to be related to your career, it can absolutely be a more personal goal, especially if you're like me, and you had no clue what you wanted to do when you graduated upon applying to college.

One key thing here, as is going to be important for pretty much every essay you write from here on out, specificity conveys authenticity. So the danger of writing a generic essay is that it doesn't actually share very much about you personally, as but so the more detail you can include, the more if this feels like you, this feels like your voice. And I can get a sense as a reader of who you are and what you'll bring to my campus at MIT. And so that's a really good rule of thumb, that you should be thinking of whenever you write a personal essay like this, you know, am I being as specific as I can be? I haven't stopped to check for questions yet. So I just want to take a quick moment to see if you guys have any questions. So far, I'm not seeing any. So I'm going to keep on going I'm also going to throw another poll your way, just to see where we are in the process. Prompt two is a why major question. They're asking you which field of study that MIT offers is going to be appealing to you right now. And tell us more about why this field of study appeals to you. So it's really just asking you, why do you want to study what you want to study. And the key phrase here that a lot of schools don't include, but which everyone implies is right now, this is not something you are signing with. In blood, these are not writing this in stone, you are 100% free to change your major. Most people change their major at least once during their college career. I changed my major twice in the last couple years. So you are absolutely by no means committed to the major that you write this essay about.

And you'll notice you'll know only got 100 words maximum to write this essay. So you have to really condense what you want to say down into this and while specificity is still important or A lot less room here for detail. And in the other 200 to 250 words that MIT is asking you to write. This is a really standard, straightforward question. None of MIT's questions are kind of out to get you or fool you or trick, you may just want to know, what are the reasons that you want to study this field. And you want to give something that we call authentic reason? These are not things related to prestige, or post graduation salary. Or just because what's what your parents want you to do. They want to know what you're passionate about, and why. What are the past experiences you've had, that have influenced your decision to pursue this further in the future? How have you interacted with this in ways that have been meaningful to you. And so you want to be able to tie this from your past into your future at MIT. And MIT actually has pretty distinctive majors, I think they call them courses rather than majors. So you're gonna want to check out what their programs are called, because they do have unique titles. And as a result also might have some interesting curricular emphases that aren't necessarily common at every single school. So you want to check that out for sure. So you want to see what resources they have on offer, and talk about how you'll be taking advantage of those. So this functions primarily as the Why Major essay, but it's really asking you why do you want to study this at MIT? So you want to make sure that it's not a generic essay, it's specific to MIT programs and what they have on offer. If you're undecided at the moment, that's totally okay. Like I said, most people change their majors a couple times, I actually gave another presentation a little while ago, about how to write a wide major essay if you're undecided. And so I won't go too much into it here. But basically, you just want to find a couple things, one or two things that you're interested in pursuing or exploring, maybe you're not, you know, committed to, but you want to check it out a little more. And talk about why you think these might be potential areas of interest for you. Even if they're not things you want to solidly say, this is what I'm studying. And again, as always, specificity is going to be your best friend here.

So for example, with MIT, you might want to study electrical engineering, and computer science or eeks. Because that's going to really help you start a startup in your future, and helps you look at both the hardware and the software sides of things. And it has a new curriculum in place at MIT with more flexibility and interdisciplinary study and independence for the undergrads. So you have the opportunity to explore eeks, as a department, specifically at MIT. And you also might want to talk about entrepreneurship, Since launching a startup obviously, takes some business acumen. And so, as I said, at the beginning of the presentation, MIT has a very strong business program and economics program. So you might want to be able to connect with those programs, and see what's going on, and the Sloan School of Business. And that'll really help you to get yourself off the ground with this kind of essay.

You might also want to be talking about specific researchers that you want to work with, or specific classes that you're excited to take. So you don't want to necessarily pin yourself down if you're undecided. And they get that. But there are lots of ways to make this specific without feeling like you're committing to something you're not passionate about. Again, I want you to make sure that you're talking about this in a way that shows how clear your passion is. Whether that's for research, or for entrepreneurship, or anything that you're thinking of pursuing a major and because prestige and clout are not going to translate as passion, it's going to be really easy to tell. So if you are interested in something it makes for a great story, make sure you just focus on those long term goals and what you are hoping to get out of this program at MIT and tie it back to your past experiences. I know that that's a really tall order to place into a very short essay. So the art attire, there's not a ton of room for detail, but you can make sure that you get some good information in there.

The next piece of the application puzzle that we're putting together here is about question about something that you enjoy. You know, what is something that you do not because you have to, but because you want to 200-250 words is a pretty generous margin here. And it lets you really explore something, this is probably one of your extracurricular activities. But it also might just be a hobby. So what do you do in your free time. And you're going to want to use this opportunity to discuss something you haven't talked about in other essays. And that goes back to the idea of essays as a portfolio. And again, like with the major, you want to be honest, here, you don't choose something that sounds impressive. You rather you'd rather put something forward that demonstrates your genuine, authentic passion, or something.

That being said, being honest, doesn't necessarily mean using an idea that isn't reflective of who you are, and what you will bring to MIT, you still want to be putting your best foot forward. So for example, you want to choose something that is going to show that you can think meaningfully and maturely about something, scrolling through your Tik tok, or looking at memes all day isn't going to be something that resonates really strongly with an admissions reader. You probably want something a little more substantive here, volunteering, maybe if that's meaningful to you, it might be a job that you have, it might be babysitting for your younger siblings or cousins, this can be one of those things that you just love to do. And you do it without being asked, because it's something you want to do. And so you can approach this essay structure, once you have a topic in your mind, you can take it in one of two directions, okay? Either stick to the moment in time method, which is you know, a brief anecdote about a specific episode in which you were doing this activity. And you want to just tell that story recreating a single moment in time, I can raise how much you love it, or you want to look at it from a longitudinal method, you know, saying, This is what I love. This is how I discovered it. This is how I've engaged with it and how I've grown through it, this is what it's taught me, and this is how I hope to continue doing it in the future. Um, you're going to want to incorporate some elements of both, for example, even if you're doing the longitudinal method, you want to include details of a meaningful moment, to give authenticity to it. But the moment in time also has to have some context to it some explanation, you can't just drop yourself right in the middle of the story and never explain how we got there. And so I want to give an example to show what this might look like. So if your passions when you love to do is sunset photography, maybe you want to tell a moment in time story about when you were sitting on a pier, and watching the sun go down and you lift up the camera. And as the colors on the sky just sort of turned this gorgeous gradient and the sun hits the horizon, you take a photo, and you hear the click and you just feel all your stress melt away. That's a great moment in time that shows what really vivid imagery, something that makes you feel right.

But maybe you want to approach it a different way. Talking about the first time you ever took a photo personally ever had a camera in your hands. And you went on this sort of long journey, taking pictures of lots of different things until you finally settled on sunsets. And what does that mean for you? You know, what have you gotten out of this? Maybe it's a question of understanding balance and perspective. Either way, no matter what direction you're taking this, you want to be telling us what you do that you love, why you love it, and while how this activity has shaped you and what you've learned from it, what you've gained from it. Okay, so the lessons you've learned are going to be important here. And make sure again, try to throw in some good details here. It makes it seem really authentic and meaningful and personalizes the essay and makes you stand out. A second option here Another example might be to talk about Rubik's cubes. You love doing Rubik's cubes, you've been doing them forever, you know all sizes from the force side. Now four sided the two by two grid, two things that are huge. Maybe not even cubes at all. So you just love to solve puzzles, you love challenges, and you love trying to do better than you did last time. And so you can do this again moment in time focusing on a single solve. Or you can make it more of a narrative from growing and from the basic Rubik's cube to the more complex ones and how you see challenges. And you know that there's some method, and you're just trying to figure out what that looks like and how to make it work. And yes, this is kind of a nerdy thing. But again, this is the MIT application after all, so you're in good company, if you are worried about it being too nerdy. Just to summarize, you want to use good imagery, good details to tell a compelling story. This is a very show don't tell, because this isn't a new love. This is something you're passionate about, you shouldn't have to describe it. And then bullet point kind of way, this is very pathos filled essay, ideally.

Moving on to the next of the essays, I want to ask you guys another quick question. So feel free to answer in the polls again. This essay, number four here is about your impact, and your community and the people around you, and how you work to improve the lives of those around you. And whether that's your community, family, classroom, neighborhood, whatever that means. And so this is a really broad question asking you to talk about a time or a way in which you cared about other people. And so, if you look at the examples, they give family, classroom neighborhood, big challenges being a good friend, you don't need to go with something massive, it doesn't have to be I have created lasting peace in the Middle East. Like that's not really what they're going for here. They want to know, what human interactions Do you have, that you use to improve the world. And so you don't have to panic if you haven't cured cancer, you're okay. It can be as simple as being a good friend having the ability to support people who need to be supported in your life. That's totally okay. So just think about a time where you made a positive impact in the world around you and the community around you in the lives of the people around you. Show that you're generous that you want to make a difference that you work hard to make a difference, and put in good emphasis on what that outcome looks like. What did you do? And how did it pay off for the other people involved? In addition, this is another essay where you want to have gotten something out of this experience. We want to know what it changed about you. Why does this matter to you? And how did you grow is really sort of the key here. So maybe you volunteered with the Red Cross or at a local retirement home, maybe you found it a club at school that was about bringing education to children in need, it doesn't matter what your cause is, or how it word you can take. Maybe it was just a time that you stood up for someone who was being picked on. Um, do you just have to give meaning to it? If it's meaningful for you that'll come across? Maybe so tying in that personal significance that personal development is going to make it seem like it matters in ways that we might not get otherwise from such a short essay. So give that act personal meaning, and we want to know what we're supposed to learn about you from this, you know, maybe you'd want to compare yourself before and after. But that might be a stretch given the length of the essay.

So an example here might be you tutored a teammate or a friend, somebody on your varsity sports team was struggling in math, for example, worried about failing and didn't really see the point. Just thought that they were bad at math. And that was it. So you decided you were going to help to tutor that friend and do it for free every week, and just help as in any way you can? Because it's something that makes sense to you. And maybe you work with them every week for a month or two months and finally they get their first a on a test or a homework. And they're really excited by that they are not just getting it not understanding Getting the concepts but understanding why they're important. And maybe they even start to like math, maybe they don't. But just what is the outcome there? And then what did you get out of it, maybe you learned that you really like to teach maybe that maybe you gained a new appreciation for math or learned new study tactics, that help you to understand concepts in ways that bring other subjects together in ways you hadn't anticipated. So maybe was a What do you get out of it, but in a way that is very spiritual and not material. Make sure you're emphasizing your generosity here in a humble way, by getting that outcome and what you got out of it as well. Um, so that's one example.

A second example might center on food waste, for example, perhaps you realize that your school has just a huge amount of food waste going on. So you work with administration, and maybe the student council and sustainability group and you push for composting as a system within your school. And you help to reduce waste in that way, and you work with the principal and the school board, and you make it happen, not just in your school, but all over the district, you know, and this sparks, you know, an interest in sustainability and environmental engineering or environmental studies, it doesn't have to start that it doesn't have to jumpstart it, per se, but maybe it furthers it, or it gives it a new perspective. Now, which one of the ways in which you've grown? Okay, so the situation, the way you did the outcome, and what you how you grew from that.

Um, we have one more of the main essays here, before we get to this sort of optional secret essay that they've hidden on their application. And this last one is about the most significant challenge that you faced, or something that didn't go according to plan and how you manage that. Cuse me, I'm sorry. So it's asking you about either the most significant challenge you faced, or something important that didn't go to plan. Either away, you can't, you're not going to go wrong with this essay. I will say you don't have to necessarily focus on the most significant challenge that you faced, okay. But you do want to focus on something that has some weight, some gravity to it. Because you want to make sure that you're not trivializing this. They're trying to figure out how you handle truly difficult situations, and what you take away from them, and what you put into them. So as you go through it, make sure you are describing the significance of this situation, why it's important to you. Because, again, if it is too trivial, it'll look like you're not taking it seriously, or you don't know how to engage with real challenges.

And so that's not to say you have to write about something that is really difficult for you to talk about still. But you shouldn't be writing about getting a B on a calculus test, you know, it should be something that does have some meaning, some significance to it. And so you want to think about what happened, what you did, and the steps that you took, and you want to show what came with it, you know, what was the outcome in general? And also, how did you grow? Again, just like the last essay and some of the other ones before that. We want to know what happened in your past? And where is it leading in your future? Why was this challenge so important to you? You know, what was your reaction in the moment? What was your reaction leader and how did you approach a solution? And how did this challenge you to grow and mature in important ways. Again, common mistakes include choosing something that's just far too trivial, like doing poorly on one task is not really going to help here. You also want to avoid things that are really cliche. For example, a sports injury. Okay, that's something that lots of readers have read a million times. And so you want to be able to put a unique spin on something like this. Something that you definitely want to try to avoid often includes romantic relationships and breakups, those are often a little too personal and difficult to make serious and mature. So you want to stick to something a little more workable.

For example, if you didn't want to do something about the sports injury, so it's a really significant challenge, you want to spin it in a new way. Maybe instead of classic story, which you can picture as, like a training montage in your head, no, I got injured, I couldn't play in a big game, I had to go through rehab and physical therapy, eventually, I got back on the field the next season, and we and I was, was able to lead the team to a state championship title, that story is a little played out. A more unique approach might be you got injured, and then you were forced to stay away from the sport. And so you picked up a new hobby, like writing. And now you love English, and you want to go into journalism. And so, you know, maybe, or maybe you got injured, and you started to sell on the sidelines a lot and you love realize you love the strategy and sort of the philosophy of the game more than you actually like playing it. And that's how you got into political science, or chess or something new and different, you know, so it's, you're skipping the cliche, and you're going in a new direction, something that is surprising to a reader.

Another example might be something, we have the Bandung Conference. If you went to Model United Nations, and you were on this panel, in this conference, you showed up, you've been preparing for months and months and months, but one of the other delegates couldn't make it got sick. So you needed to suddenly switch sides, you had to be on the opposite side from the one you'd prepared for. This could be very scary. But instead of panicking, you get as much information as you can in a short time. And maybe you get there and they call on you and you still blank, you still have no idea what to say you ask them to come back to you. And so they circle back and you still make, you know, a confident, articulate argument. And even if you don't come out on top, in this situation, you've learned something about the importance of preparation, but also the importance of being flexible, being adaptable to new situations and changing conditions.

a different example might be about a robotics club experience, where you start the competitive Robotics Competition club at your school, you get the interest in students together, and you get it approved. But for some reason, the administration decides they don't want this club around. And they reject your proposal. And then you get other people to rally around you, you get support from other peers and maybe faculty, and you figure out exactly why this would be beneficial to your school community. Maybe they still say no, even if you don't persuade this school board, maybe you realize you enjoyed the research of it and the debate. And so you've gone now and joined the debate club instead, and you found your people there. And something has been really important to helping you discover this new passion that you wouldn't have otherwise realized. So this is a sort of way to spin a different type of essay out of something that could be a really typical question.

Before we go into the last, sort of what we've labeled the secret essay. I have a cup and one more poll for you for now. Another one's coming soon. Don't worry, I know you were worried about more polls. So please do give us a little bit of feedback. But as I'm going into the secret prompt, what I want to say about it, is that we call it the secret prompt because it's not listed on their website. Rather, it only appears on the application and it's an optional prompt. Please tell us more about your cultural background and identity in the space below 150 words or fewer. And so it is optional, technically here and there is some overlap with prompt one. But you should still consider answering this question. We like to say the most optional things on these applications are not truly optional, you should still consider them as mandatory. There are very few exceptions. For example, Duke University asks about being a member of the LGBTQIA plus community? And if that's an important part of your identity, and if it's not, you should definitely not answer that question. But this kind of question is one that a lot of applicants can relate to, you have something in your background that's meaningful and has had some influence on your life experience. So this might relate to your minority status in some way, your religion, or your ethnicity or your nationality, but it could also relate to other aspects of your identity. And so you don't want to rule it out just because it says it's optional. And again, here, you have the option to do more moment in time or more longitudinal. Now, is there one example of a story that really helps display why your background is important to you? Or is it something that's easier told, by talking about the entire course if your life, you know, either approaches valid, you might want to think about, you know, your weekly family dinners, say, if you, you know, have lots of big families, and within your larger extended family, you have lots of cousins and aunts and uncles, and they all converge for dinner every Sunday. And you get to tell stories, your you know, your older relatives tell stories about the old country, and they have celebrations that are specific to your culture, maybe that's something that's really important. And you want to focus in on something like that. But again, narrative show don't tell specificities, your best friend and these kinds of things.

And that does bring us right towards the end, I want to summarize, before we move to the q&a portion of this call here of this presentation, the most important things I want you to take away from this presentation are that you want to be articulating your active role, your past and present in something and how it points to your future, the ways you've grown from what you do, and where you are and who you are. You want to use specific details so you can show and not tell and convey your passion in an authentic way. And you want to, you know, get feedback throughout the process. Ask the people around you, teachers, advisors, parents, or you could use college vines free tools to get your essay peer reviewed. So feel free to get other perspectives on this, throw other eyes at these essays, once you've written drafts, because you want to be able to give these the best you can and show off who you are.

And that does sort of bring us to the end of this presentation. So I'm going to stop sharing my screen. And I am going to open up for questions from you guys. Because I want to be able to answer the questions that you have about these types of essays and these options here. And what that looks like. I know I've talked a lot at you in the last 45 minutes or so. So I don't want to keep blathering at you if you have specific questions or specific specific things that you want to know. So please start putting those questions in the chat box. I haven't seen any just yet. So I'm really excited to see what you guys are interested in learning about writing these essays. A brief note is that the presentation that I've just given here is being recorded. And so you'll be able to access it at any point in the future. Just by going back to this website, you'll be able to share it if you would like or you can just revisit. And that same that same thing is true for all of the presentations that we give here at CollegeVine. They're always free and they're always available. So if there's anything that you are interested in, that you think there might be another presentation about already, for example, writing the Why major essay, especially if you're undecided. You can go back and check that out. Um, and it will be in our archives You can also go back and check out our college fair from a couple weeks ago, where we had students from all different universities, giving panels and talks about what their student experiences like. You can go back and see, you know, what do MIT students have to say about being at MIT? So these are things that you can absolutely investigate further for free through CollegeVine. But at the same time, I'm here live right now to answer questions that you have. So please, please do give those questions up to us. Or if you have any feedback on how this presentation went for you what you're hoping to see more from CollegeVine in the future, you can put that in the box as well. And we'll review it and we'll take it into account. I am going to continue talking until I have some questions.

Great. We have one question here. Because these prompts are on the shorter side, should students aim to write in a narrative style or to summarize events so that there's more room for the meaning? This is a great question. And one that's not necessarily confined to these essays, you know, short essays, I think, are some of the most difficult ones to write. Because you have so much to say, I would still recommend using anecdotes here, because they are much more personal, and can show a lot about you and how you think and what your voice sounds like. You should definitely be reserving room for explicit analysis, you know, so in a 250 word essay, you should be devoting at least 50-75 words to analysis here. And that's not a hard and fast rule, it's rule of thumb, you should be telling a story, and then telling us why that story is important and what it means for your food. And that might take a couple tries to write something and then cut it back and then cut it back and then cut it back. But it's always easier to write more and then cut stuff out than it is to work with a skeleton and try to flesh it out. Because if you think about the word count, you might leave out the most important thing because you just don't get there. So I recommend writing everything you have to say. And then cutting out the fluff and making things more concise and condensing it from there rather than working the other direction. That's a great question.

I'd love to see some other questions as well, about this or about the essays in general for MIT, or just the college applications process? Um, what are the questions that you have about what this might look like and what is expected from you? I definitely want to be able to give you guys the answers that you're looking for. In whatever realm that is that you feel you need guidance in. In the meantime, launching the very last poll while I wait for questions, that's the thing, love. If you guys don't ask me questions, I have time to ask you questions. So we're going to need you to put in some participation here to make sure that we're getting everything shipshape here and answering the questions that you guys feel we haven't yet addressed.

I'm not seeing any new questions rolling in at the moment. So I'm going to give it another minute. I'm going to let it keep keep and keep tabulating and keeping you know, pulling in the things that you guys are putting into the box. But I'm not seeing too much. So it looks like we're sort of drawing to the end of our presentation. I know every time I say that I'm going to wrap it up. That's when the questions start flooding in, because it's just how the karma of the universe works out for these things. But even though I've said the words wrap up, I'm still not seeing lots of new questions. So I'm just going to give it another minute. Before I do call it a night. And again, you guys totally have the option here to come back and watch later. You can also check out which live streams we have coming up and register for those. For example tomorrow we have a live essay review. We have another how to write essays kind of presentation coming up for Georgetown. So I'm going to show you guys that one in case you were hoping to register for something like that. Um I'm sorry if that pulls is coming up for you again, you can feel free to ignore it the second time. But, again, if there's anything that you guys feel was missing from this, please put it in the box. And I'll try to answer it now or we'll take it into consideration for the future. Alrighty, I am still not seeing any new questions coming on in. So I am going to Oh, here we go.

There's one. Usually you're told not to write about personal issues such as politics. What about talking about specific companies that you want to investigate or that you admire? So I'm not exactly sure what context you're thinking of this end. But it's always okay to be talking about the experiences you've had. Um, so if you worked at a company, and it was a really formative experience for you, it changed what you want it to do in the future, for example, that's a really valid experience to write about, because it shaped you into the person who is applying to college today. If you're thinking about it in the future, where you're saying, okay, I had this one experience. And I think I like consulting, for example. And so now I want to explore x consulting firm, that's not necessarily the direction I would take it, you want to think about more resources that are available at MIT, you know, maybe they have a campus consulting firm that you want to explore or business clubs or economics clubs, or things that, you know, are being operated through the Sloan School for business. So you have MIT specific opportunities there. So if that's answering your question, I hope it is, if it's not feel free to put a follow up in the box, and I'll try to address it. But the my general advice is, feel free to talk about your past experiences as they've influenced your future. When thinking about the future, think more in fields and sub topics, and not so much in specific companies, unless that company's doing something truly unique. But you can think about it in this way. And for years, a lot is going to change by the time you graduate from college. The odds that that company is the only one doing what they do is pretty those odds are pretty slim. So maybe I would talk more about the field or the research or the work rather than name dropping a company, especially if it has nothing to do with being a student at MIT.

Right, What other questions do we have? Is there anything else that's sort of outstanding, that we haven't had the opportunity to discuss together? I want to make sure that I'm getting you guys the answers that you're hoping to hear, or that you are excited to hear or need to hear, though those aren't always the same thing. Is there anything else that you guys are missing that you feel we haven't yet touched on that you are hoping to hear more about? Alright, I'm not seeing any new questions. But I'm going to talk pretty slowly. So that I'm making sure not to miss a new question right at the buzzer. Because I know that you guys are hearing me a little bit after I'm talking. So I want to account for that lag. But otherwise, it seems like I can go ahead and wrap this presentation up and bring us home. So thank you guys for asking your questions. Thank you for tuning in tonight. We're always excited to be able to bring you some information that's going to be helpful for you and your application process. As always, best of luck. You guys are excellent and I hope to see you in the future at some of our other streams. Have a great rest of your night.

Undergrad College: Yale University '21

Work Experience: I am a senior at Yale and excited to begin my fifth admissions cycle working with CollegeVine. After four years of working directly with students, I can't wait to engage with the people and the process in new and innovative ways online.

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• College Application

MIT Supplemental Essay Examples

Knowing what to write for your MIT essays might be difficult, but the process is made much easier by reading over MIT supplemental essay examples.

Checking out sample college essays gives you a good grasp of what supplemental college application essays should look like.

It also helps to read up on how to write a college essay . However, while learning through instruction is good, pairing that instruction with examples lets you see the practical application of that knowledge before attempting your own essay.

This article contains sample essays for the current MIT supplemental essay prompts.

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free initial consultation here <<

Article Contents 15 min read

Mit supplemental essay example #1:.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Word Count: 250 words or fewer

Example Essay #1:

The place where I live isn’t the worst community in our city, and I’m thankful that crime is relatively low, but it’s still pretty run-down. If you want to find employment, our section of town is not for you – even more so if you’re looking for a good job; anything you’d think of as a “career” doesn’t exist here.

We couldn’t afford aspirations; we were too busy worrying about where the rent and grocery money was coming from.

One day, I started asking myself, “Why can’t our neighborhood have jobs and nice houses? Why can’t we have hope be something other than tomorrow’s disappointment?”

I’m dreaming big these days. I want to be a community leader – a local politician. I know this is strange, but I’m not worried about the national right now, I’m worried about the municipal – making sure that everybody gets enough in my city.

I got in touch with several alderpersons on my city’s council and asked how I could help my neighborhood. They spoke with me and one of them asked if I could address my city’s government at a meeting. I prepared a speech about my neighborhood’s poverty and delivered it. Then I volunteered with the reelection campaign for the alderperson who recommended me.

The place where I live is who I am, and who I am today will let me be somebody better tomorrow, if I choose to aspire to hope, and dream of every place being the nice part of town.

When you’re little, you don’t understand why your parents are getting divorced, you only know that they are. You beat yourself up over it, then you come to accept it, but it takes a while to see the silver lining.

I’m not saying it’s “good” that they split up, although I recognize that it’s at least better for them. After a while my mom and dad even got remarried. Then something weird happened: I didn’t have evil step-parents from fairy tales.

In fact, not only were my step-parents not evil, they were lovely people who really cared about me. My step-mom is a psychiatrist, and hearing about how she helps patients has inspired me to learn about therapy.

My step-dad works as a police officer. The world of law enforcement is a harsh one, especially on the psyches of law enforcement officers. Learning about that hardship from my step-father, and thinking about how my step-mother helps people, has led me to study psychology. I want to practice therapy for police officers and participate in research, looking for methods to keep stressors away and heal officers who have suffered as part of their “routine” jobs.

My family is big – four parents and eight grandparents, and a lot of love – and that largess has opened my eyes to a calling in the world that I otherwise might not have found. I think that’s most why I want to help find healing for others: I know the opportunities that healing can create.

Be sure to check out some MIT interview questions , too!

Example essay #3:.

We were moving away from my home of thirteen years to go miles and miles away, from my whole life. Worst of all: away from New York City – the only place in the world worth knowing – or so I thought.

The town might as well have been called “Miniscule Ville”. I resented every second of it. The real shocking thing to me was almost that anything existed outside of New York City. NYC is a world of its own, with its own pulses and lifeblood. I still think it’s a great place, and I’ll likely at least visit it someday, but right now, I want to visit everywhere.

My move humbled me. I began to love nature walks, the friendly camaraderie of the small town, and saw a world I never imagined. I thought I knew it all just because I lived in New York. Here was a great place, hidden from view. I loved experiencing that new world, learning local history, and most of all, learning the life stories of my new neighbors, each one of whom had a fascinating life.

My greatest dream is to be a journalist, covering other countries, and learning about new worlds and neighbors. My old perspective feels so limited. If I can share global stories, I can open up my perspective, and I can share those stories with a thousand homes so readers can learn about other perspectives as well. The world is full of different lives. Everywhere is somebody’s home.

Wondering how to write your supplemental college essays?

Pick what field of study at MIT appeals to you the most right now, and tell us more about why this field of study appeals to you.

Word Count: 100 words or fewer

My neighborhood is run-down and hangdog. Buildings are collapsing, practically on top of the homeless who could use a place to stay. I am sad for the people who have no place to go and for the beauty in design that is decaying all around.

I want to restore my neighborhood. Architecture and design are my academic interests, because they help restore neighborhoods and cities into communities where everybody has a place. I hope to redesign and give a new life to my neighborhood. With the help of MIT’s Architecture and Urbanism program, my dream is bound to come true.

Example Essay #2:

The current state of economics is more complicated than ever.

Hustle culture is burning people out. Job-seekers complain of a lack of good employment, while prospective employers complain of a lack of worthy candidates. We are abandoning traditional work models, payment models – even the concept of money is being tinkered with since the advent of cryptocurrencies.

These innovations require new technology, business models, and currencies; I will embrace this future at the Economics program at MIT, and help blaze the financial trails we will all someday walk.

We are meant to be a nation of liberty and unity, so much that we made it our motto: e pluribus unum. But tribalism and division have been on the rise – we are more divided as a nation than ever.

Recently I have seen people striving to start good-faith conversations. On a new political podcast, for instance, opposing politicians discuss instead of argue.

The arena of political science has never been more dangerous, divisive, or exciting. I need to help keep our nation of “many” as one nation. I will start my journey at the Political Science department at MIT.

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it.

Word Count: 200-250 words

I take the path less travelled, if I may reference Frost for a moment. When it came to choosing a sport, I couldn’t just do any sport, so, I chose HEMA: Historical European Martial Arts.

This is the study of the longsword, the mace, the dagger, and the rapier. It is as much a study of history and anthropology as it is exercise. All of the moves and strategies come from old manuscripts, many of which need decoding to get into a recognizable language.

Connecting with the past in such a way is a fun, engaging way to learn history and get exercise – and it is considerable exercise! Swinging a longsword about, or fighting with shields and arming swords, often while wearing armor, is no easy task.

The community of HEMA is a welcoming and wonderful one. I found out about HEMA in a video somebody posted to my social media only to discover that there is a chapter near where I live. I went around to ask about classes, and they were very friendly and affirming.

There is always more to learn, too, whether knowledge of circumstances for the various manuals, different fighting styles, or a variety of weapons. Through HEMA, I fuel my mind, exercise my body, and am part of a friend-filled community of historical combat buffs.

When the wind is up, I cannot wait to go to the park with my latest kite.

As a kid, my mum and dad would take me kite-flying. I’d have done it every day, and no matter how old I got, I still wanted to fly.

Soon I was trying to do maneuvers too complicated for my dinky little kite, and I begged mum and dad for a better one. I got one for my birthday, but even that much more advanced model didn’t satiate my desire to vicariously soar above the park. I realized that the kites we bought from the store do not exactly meet my vision of how I wanted my kites to perform. This meant that I would need to start designing my own kites.

It took a lot of trial and error, and my father and I almost destroyed one of my special kites trying to improve it, but we eventually got the hang of it. After that, we started “modding” more kites, and I have now built three myself, special kites designed for specific maneuvers. It takes a lot of problem-solving to get there, but figuring it out and flying those kites is so rewarding.

It’s almost like I’m up there with the kite, floating on the wind. It’s relaxing, challenging, and a wonderful way to spend a day.

My love of poetry came from my love of hip-hop music. 

One evening, I found myself in a café in a basement – one of those places with steps leading below street-level, into a room that reminds you of how you think a speakeasy would look. It was slam-poetry night, and my friend Trisha was performing. He told me it was just like hip-hop.

I was in awe of my friend and his group, spitting lines that were fierce and which moved me deeply. I got involved with the group and was soon writing my own stuff. My verses were clunky at first, but they were mine; I was learning to express myself.

Every aspect of slam poetry fascinated me: rhythm, metaphor, stress, and the ever-elusive emotions between the lines.

Slam poetry is wonderful, but in my study of the art, I came to love other verse forms. The slam poet group’s leader told me to check out the Elizabethan sonnets for some tight beats – she was referring to the about iambic pentameter, which led me to a love of a form of poetry with one phrase – tight beats. Something that my English teacher didn’t accomplish with a whole class unit.

My favorite poems I have encountered are haikus. The all-encompassing focus on syllables makes the rhythms of masterfully-written haikus flow in my mind’s ear.

Poetry is my passion. I can’t wait to put down verses, whether for a slam poetry night, and some just for my journals at home.

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc.

My dad’s a smoker, and mom’s always on him to quit. I don’t mind too much – I understand that it’s hard to quit – but he chucks his cigarette butts everywhere, and I hate that.

One day I’d had enough of it, and when he whipped his cigarette butt out the car window, I actually spoke up and chewed him out for littering. He wasn’t happy about that, and it made the car ride home unpleasant.

But the next day, he came and apologized, saying I was right. That event inspired by responsibility to our community, and I decided to help gather up trash in our neighborhood. I volunteered with the city, got a little grabber and a garbage bag, and started picking up litter, including a bunch of cigarette butts, many of which were, statistically-speaking, my dad’s.

I felt good, and encouraged my family to come out with me. Dad was the first one to cave, and we actually had fun, talking and picking up litter. But we needed more help. I’m fourth out of five kids and I convinced most of my siblings to join in as well.

Dad and I wound up bonding a lot, chatting about life and sharing our news at the side of the road, plucking debris from the street. He doesn’t smoke as much, either, but I don’t know if that’s because of me or just that he hates picking up his old butts.

The bullying at our school, and in my class in-particular, had boiled up. It wasn’t uncommon to see one or more students in tears because of some cruelty or other, a lot online, but plenty of it live and in-person.

I stayed out of it as much as I could. I didn’t want to be a target.

My friend Mark got it bad one week. Somebody decided to start accusing him of being “the problem” whenever anything went wrong, calling him cursed. He lost a lot of friends that week, and though I didn’t abandon him, I didn’t stick up for him like I should have.

That festered in me. I hated feeling helpless, so, after the Christmas break, I came to school with a purpose. I went straight to our teacher and asked what I could do to help stop bullying, besides just not participating in it. We came up with an anti-bullying campaign. We knew posters wouldn’t do it alone, so we created a program where bullied students could come forward safely and anonymously. We put together a mechanism for dealing with accusations, and the school was very supportive.

It was slow going at first, but gradually we saw a lowering in the amount of bullying being done in our class and across the school. I might not have been able to stop Mark getting hurt, but I did my best to stop it happening again.

I’m a soup kitchen volunteer. My mom said it’d be good for me to volunteer and see what poverty did to people. I wasn't thrilled about it. I was fifteen and had better places to be, or so I thought.

What I found out was that there are people who need a lot of help, and it just took one shift for me to know that I was coming back. I needed to be there, helping people, because where else are they going to get help?

Community aid programs are often underfunded, and our community has a severe dearth of available funds to help people in need. Support for the local food banks and shelters is low in our municipality. Volunteering is an integral part to bring a little humanity into these people’s lives.

I’m not going to pretend it’s sunshiny, because it’s not: it’s harsh. But I can help make my neighborhood a better place. I can give people food and comfort.

What matters is making a difference. I can’t make a huge difference right now, unless you’re one of our customers – then I’m making up the difference between a night of comfort and one of despair. Small differences still make a difference, and I want to help my community however I can.

Tell us about a significant challenge you’ve faced or something that didn’t go according to plan that you feel comfortable sharing. How did you manage the situation?

The sixth letter in the alphabet shouldn’t make your stomach feel like a frozen stone is rolling around in there, but the F on my test paper was doing that. I was trying to envision a future I could actually look forward to.

Yes, that’s a bit dramatic, but I’d never gotten an F before, and my brain was panicking with the non-future into which I had cast myself. Chemistry had beaten me.

I kept that F from my parents as long as possible, assuming a furious volley of punishments and lectures would be my comeuppance. I couldn’t have anticipated the reaction.

“Hm.” A syllable which sat there for a long time before dad said, “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that there was a next. I was busy with melancholic despair; I forgot about “what next?”

My parents asked if I wanted to switch the course, but I want to study the sciences, my answer was no. Mom helped me put together a new rubric for studying and I stuck to it. My next text was a C+. After that? An A.

Failing a test taught me something more valuable than any class ever did: how to dust myself off, know what I really want, and try again with everything I have in me. Ultimately, my only failure was giving up on myself and focusing on one failure. My lesson is learned, and from now on, I will always focus on what I can do next.

I was unable to breathe, or even move, really, and covered in dust. I was one, big bruise all over my body. Samson was responsible, having thrown me to the ground for the seventh time that day.

Samson had come to the stables with a warning that this would happen. He was a problem horse, young, headstrong, and seemingly impossible to train. For days I tried the approaches that had worked on other horses, but worked on Samson.

The barn owner was in one day, watching me fail. She called me over and said, “He’s stressed because you’re stressed. Try to be calm. When you’re calm, go over there and don’t ask anything of him. Just be there with him. See what happens. Make some offers, but don’t do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

I went over to Samson and patted him, and he stepped in. Little by little, I’d make a move and he’d make a move. He got nervous when I tried to get on him, so I backed off. I didn’t ride him that day, but eventually, after a few days of just making friends, the good advice worked. Samson was soon a great riding horse, and one who had tremendous empathy with his rider.

Too often we go to people with our stresses, needing them to be something they aren’t. I try to remember to expect less and just be there. The results are great. When you don’t pile on, you never get thrown off.

I had said, “Yes,” because I always said, “Yes,” regardless of how busy I was. That was how I wound up on the track team, mathletes, and a dozen other things I had no time for. I was stressed out and in denial.

This time, I had said, “Yes,” to organizing a fundraising event to buy new instruments for the school’s music program. A variety show seemed like a good idea until it became clear that somebody would have to organize talent, balance schedules, as well as create decorations, and everything else for the event. Guess who this “somebody” was?

Mr. Kowalski had offered to help and I’d said, “No.” I should clarify that I always said, “Yes,” when taking on responsibility, but “No,” when it came to delegating. I felt I wouldn’t be pulling my weight.

My grades were slipping, I was losing sleep, and the fundraiser almost collapsed: no new instruments for the band. Mr. Kowalski came back, luckily for me, and offered his help again. Learning my lesson, this time I did not miss my chance for getting help. The fundraiser got back on track. He didn’t take over, but gave me the assistance I needed to get it done without punishing myself too much.

I learned how important it is to ask for help and delegate responsibility. I learned that being a good leader or project head doesn’t mean being a superhuman who handles it all.

And I learned how to better employ the word, “No”.

Want more tips?

Please note that the supplemental essay section has an additional-information text box within it. MIT suggests that students can use this box to tell them anything you think they really ought to know.

MIT says it is optional, but we would advise you to take advantage of the extra space; give yourself every opportunity to stand out as the perfect applicant and to be unforgettable to the admissions committee.

In MIT’s case, they are required for your application, but even if they weren’t, as with the additional-information box, we would still counsel you to take any option that can make your application soar.

No. In fact, MIT says specifically that this is not a writing test, and encourages applicants to, “Be honest, be open, be authentic – this is your opportunity to connect with us.”

That doesn’t mean you should use colloquialisms or ignore spelling and grammar, but it does mean that you won’t need to worry about a specific style, or avoid the use of the first-person – which you will be using most of the time – or cramming in citations.

However, remember that this is still an essay, so your submission must follow the academic essay style, with a strong introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

If they fit with your schedule, yes, but MIT doesn’t give preference to early applicants.

Check with other schools you would like to apply to, see what their application schedules are like, and build an application schedule that works best for you.

Do note that some schools don’t allow you to submit multiple early applications. MIT is not one of those schools, but they do specify that you must respect exclusivity rules from other schools.

There is a lot you can do, but starting with reading up on the Massachusetts Institute of Technology is a good start.

Beyond that, finding good mentors will benefit you tremendously, and using university and college admissions consulting will cover all angles and give you the best edge you can find.

Potentially, yes. How to get into college with a low GPA is harder, but not impossible.

Grades are only one puzzle piece that you’ll be sending to MIT, and their reviewing panels and admissions boards won’t just reject your application because of low grades. They provide an “additional information” section on the application which will allow you to provide insight into anything you need to explain on your transcript.

No. Don’t let the name fool you, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology offers a wide variety of courses across disciplines, and they have programs for all kinds of students.

Most students with family incomes below $140,000 (US) do not pay tuition. According to their website, 82% of MIT’s students graduate debt-free.

In short, MIT offers robust financial aid, and can be very affordable for students from all income brackets.

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MIT Essay: Describe the world you come from | Joseph

Joseph , Massachusetts Institute of Technology Class of 2024

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. how has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations.

We were supposed to win it all my freshman year. The tennis team had finished 6th at State the year before, and expectations were even higher this time around. I was a rookie, but I needed to have the maturity of a senior.

One day, I sat on the bleachers at the end of practice, shielding my face to hide my tears. I felt intimidated by everyone, all the pressure that came with being a part of a “super team.” I needed someone to lean on. Thankfully, the team was there for me.

From the beginning, our captains led by example. They weren’t afraid of emotions—rather, they embraced them. When the team felt nervous, our captains used that adrenaline to help us power through matches. When the team felt unmotivated, our captains weren’t afraid to push us, even when our legs were cramping up from long practice matches.

Dedication and acceptance defined their leadership.

I’ve learned much more from the captains than just how to lead a tennis team. In every situation, I aspire to match their unfailing honesty, tenacity, and ability to aid others in any way possible. I take pride in helping the people around me do their best, whether it’s perfecting their new forehand or absolutely nailing their next speech. I hope to inspire others to do the same for their peers, and I aim to welcome everyone into my life. As Captain Martin used to say, “Anyone can be your family.”

Massachusetts Institute of Technology 2024

About the author 🎓, major: computer science, economics, and data science, accepted universities: massachusetts institute of technology (mit) northwestern university vanderbilt university university of southern california (usc) university of michigan--ann arbor university of north carolina--chapel hill (unc) georgia institute of technology (georgia tech) case western reserve university university of illinois--urbana-champaign (uiuc) purdue university, hometown: naperville, illinois, more essays, common app essays →, harvard essays →, mit essays →, princeton essays →, stanford essays →, yale essays →, common application essay: describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve | dyllen.

Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma –

Stanford Supplemental Essay: Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning | Dyllen

The Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you

Stanford Supplemental Essay: Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you | Dyllen

Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your

Stanford Supplemental Essay: Tell us about something that is meaningful to you and why | Dyllen

Tell us about something that is meaningful to you and why The day’s memories flash through my mind as I lie in bed. The piano

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an essay writing journey by Nisha D. '21

one of my MIT essays, as told through revision history

July 25, 2018

To the rising seniors beginning to think about their college essays – hello, fellow kids. Are you as stuck on what to write your college essays about as I was exactly two years ago? Some of you probably are. Some of you are probably thinking that it’s way too early to be thinking about college essays, and maybe you’re right, but I really like writing! College essays gave me the creative writing space that I never really got outside of writing excessive amounts of fanfiction, so I was pretty excited to get started on them. That doesn’t mean that they weren’t hard to write, though!

I’ve been meaning to do some sort of college essay post while I’m still young enough to remember what I was thinking as I wrote them (it’s been two years, yikes). I didn’t want to just post my essays straight onto this blog, though. I don’t want to be *that* kind of college blogger.

Instead, I thought I’d show you guys one of my essays through Google Docs revision history. For those of you who don’t use Google Docs, a. Start using it and b. It timestamps every single edit you’ve ever made on the document. Essentially, I can see myself from the past writing, deleting, and revising my essays at every editing point. It’s pretty cool, and for those of you who are now in college and used Google Docs to write your essays, I’d recommend looking back at your revision history. Not only is it a cringey blast from the past, but it’s an insightful journey through the self-reflection and brainstorming that you put into your essays.

The essay that I’m showing y’all was written for MIT’s, “Describe the world you come from” prompt. This was actually the last essay that I wrote for MIT’s application because the prompt confused me a LOT. I spent many nights lying awake wondering how I could express something meaningful in so few words. But in the end, it wound up being my favorite essay out of all the ones I wrote for any college application. I applied to MIT early action and didn’t apply to any Common App schools in that round, so I wound up using this essay as the basis for my Common App essay during regular decision season. Full disclosure, I didn’t get admitted into any of the schools I applied to with the Common App (Harvard and Stanford, lol), but I was really proud of this essay and I still am. When you can read an essay two years later and still think, “Hey, that’s pretty good”, that’s when you know you’ve written a fire essay.

For a bit of background, here’s a quick rundown of what I wrote about for the other essays:

• “Something you do for the pleasure of it”: video games!
• “What do you want to major in”: 18C, with a minor in Japanese – lol
• “Contribution to community”: My sister and I started a nonprofit in our town to teach young girls math!
• “Challenge you’ve faced”: Failing the last competitive math test of my career (to be fair, this is when I wanted to major in math and REALLY cared about competitive math)
• That one culture essay on the first part of the application: I wrote about how I never really connected with my own culture, and as a result, went and explored a new one instead.

Finally, here’s my, “world you come from” essay, complete with time stamps and a large collection of very cringey drafts.

9/09/16 9:52 PM : While trading state-themed memorabilia at MATHCOUNTS Nationals in middle school, I distinctly remember receiving blank stares when I mentioned that I was from New Hampshire. “Where even is that?” these students would say, and I would grumpily answer that it was next to Massachusetts. That seemed to ring a bell for them. Now, I usually just say that I’m from Boston.

My hometown, Nashua, isn’t really on the map for much either. Our sports teams are terrible. There are frequent drug incidents. Academically oriented families sometimes move to nearby Lexington for better schooling.

9/12/2016 1:56 AM : Nashua, New Hampshire. Some people don’t even know where New Hampshire is, let alone Nashua. If they do, it’s likely because they frequently take advantage of our tax-free shopping.

My high school, Nashua South, is even more unassuming. It certainly doesn’t invoke the awe that nearby schools Lexington High or Philips Andover do. In fact, academically oriented families sometimes simply just move to Massachusetts because they believe that Nashua isn’t good enough. While trading state-themed memorabilia at MATHCOUNTS Nationals in middle school, I distinctly remember receiving blank stares when I mentioned that I was from New Hampshire. “Where even is that?” these students would say, and I would grumpily answer that it was next to Massachusetts. That seemed to ring a bell. My hometown, Nashua, isn’t really on the map for much either. Our sports teams are terrible, and there are frequent drug incidents. Academically oriented families sometimes move to nearby Lexington for better schooling; on state charts, my high school doesn’t even rank.

And yet, I chose Nashua High South Nashua South over an admittance to Phillips Exeter, arguably the best high school in the world.

9/16/2016 7:05 PM : Nashua, New Hampshire. Some people don’t even know where New Hampshire is, let alone Nashua. If they do, it’s likely because they frequently take advantage of our tax-free shopping.

My high school, Nashua South, is even more unassuming. It certainly doesn’t invoke the awe that nearby schools Lexington High or Philips Andover do. In fact, academically oriented families sometimes simply just move to Massachusetts because they believe that Nashua isn’t good enough.

And yet, I chose Nashua South over an admittance to Phillips Exeter, arguably the best high school in the world.

In the big leagues, we at South are the underdogs.

The math team that I proudly captain hasn’t lost the league in eight years. Last year, our varsity quiz bowl team took the state win for the first time in three decades. We even beat Phillips Exeter in history bowl – not once, but twice.

Wherever I may end up, I’ll always be grateful to Nashua for opening more doors for me than anybody could have ever imagined.

9/20/2016 4:56 PM : Nashua, New Hampshire. Some people don’t even know where New Hampshire is, let alone Nashua. If they do, it’s lik ely because they frequently take advantage of our tax-free shopping.

And yet, I chose Nashua South over an admittance to Philips Exeter, arguably the best high school in the world.

The math team that I proudly captain hasn’t lost the league in eight years. Last year, our varsity quiz bowl team took the state win for the first time in three decades. We even beat Philips Exeter in history bowl – not once, but twice.

9/23/16 12:44 AM : The many worlds that have impacted my life are all very neatly contained within

A guitar is propped up behind a stand filled with violin sheet music Books are everywhere. Candide and The Time Machine are haphazardly stacked behind my computer; my glasses sit upon Lolita and Norwegian Wood. The countless universes within these paper portals have instilled in me a love for the heroes and the idealists; for fantastical worlds and magic spells. “A reader”, after all, “lives a thousand lives before he dies.” -books -music -math The many math trophies that populate the top of my bureau chronicle a lifetime’s journey; from elementary school’s Math Olympiad, to MATHCOUNTS, to math team trophies and AMC pins, -ff There are not one, nor two, but three Final Fantasy VII posters on my walls. The beloved Japanese RPG not only inspired my intended career path in computer science, but nudged me into the beautiful world of Japanese language and culture. -fam

9/27/16 11:12 AM : I can see it when I close my eyes: a city of twisted metal rising up from blackened plains; jagged mountains reaching to pierce the sky; a swamp threatening to swallow up the small farm that sits on its edge. Snapshots from a world much like ours – but it only exists on a computer screen and within my mind.

10/10/16 2:58 AM : I can see it when I close my eyes: a city of twisted metal rising up from blackened plains; jagged mountains reaching to pierce a clouded sky; a swamp threatening to swallow up the small farm that sits on its edge. Snapshots from a universe much like ours – but its atoms are pixels pixels are its atoms.

Perhaps it’s ironic that a This world with such a tangible influence on my life is , in reality, itself intangible.

{} planted in me a burning desire to learn two things. The first was programming – I wanted to know how my beloved world was created and perhaps even figure out how to create my own. Second was the Japanese language; I firmly believed, and still believe, that I could better understand the game by playing it in the language it was written in.

And now, when I reflect on

10/14/16 1:32 AM : I can see it when I close my eyes: a city of twisted metal rising up from blackened plains; jagged mountains reaching to pierce a clouded sky; a swamp threatening to swallow up the small farm that sits on its edge. Snapshots from a universe much like ours – but pixels are its atoms but its inhabitants are pixelated and lines of code make up their DNA .

I now know that the advanced technologies of the future are my future as well, but it was the technologically primitive Final Fantasy VII – a classic Japanese video game released nearly 20 years ago – that first opened my eyes to so many unexplored realms within the world we all share. The complex game mechanics got me into coding; I spent so much time puzzling over how to disable random battles that I eventually asked my parents to send me to programming camp to learn how to most optimally hack the game. The subpar English translation compelled me to learn Japanese so that I could play the game in its original language and discover a more nuanced meaning to its dialogue, and not have to deal with lines like, “This guy are sick”.

This world with such a tangible influence on my life is itself intangible.

10/16/16 12:25 AM : I can see it when I close my eyes: a city of twisted metal rising up from blackened plains; jagged mountains reaching to pierce a clouded sky; a swamp threatening to swallow up the small farm that sits on its edge. Snapshots from a universe much like ours – but its inhabitants are built from pixels and lines of code make up their DNA.

I now know that the advanced technologies of the future are my future as well, but it was the technologically primitive Final Fantasy VII – a classic Japanese video game released nearly 20 years ago – that first opened my eyes to so many unexplored realms within the world we all share. The complex game mechanics got me into coding; I spent so much time puzzling over how to disable random battles that I eventually went to programming camp with the full intention of learning how to most optimally hack the game. The subpar English translation compelled me to learn Japanese so that I could play the game in its original language and discover a more nuanced meaning to its dialogue, and not have to deal with lines like, “This guy are sick”.

The game’s universe is a mere microcosm in the wider scheme of the world that I inhabit, but as small and intangible as it is, it inspired me to expand my own horizons to limits unforeseen. I can only imagine what the

10/18/2016 7:42 PM (final version!) : I can see it when I close my eyes: a city of twisted metal rising up from blackened plains; jagged mountains reaching to pierce a clouded sky; a swamp threatening to swallow up the small farm that sits on its edge. Snapshots from a universe much like ours – but its inhabitants are built from pixels and lines of code make up their DNA.

The game’s universe is a mere microcosm in the wider scheme of things, but as intangible as it is, it inspired me to expand my own horizons in ways unforeseen. The smallest of worlds led me to explore the limitless one that surrounds me.

And there it is! I’m still impressed with high school senior me for being able to express those sentiments in under 250 words. But as you can see, it took a lot of writing, rewriting, deleting, and revising to get me to a point at which I liked it. I showed you guys very little of the actual editing history – I pulled timestamps from approximately every 3 days, and there were at least 6 or 7 large edits every 3 days. And sometimes, all of that writing and rewriting yields an essay that you’re not really even that happy with. That happens too. I didn’t like my “contribution to community” and “challenge you’ve faced” essays much at all, and they were the ones I wrote and rewrote the most times.

What I’m trying to say in this post is that regardless of how much effort you wind up putting into them, college essays are hard. You might rewrite them a million times and still hate them afterwards. Optimally, you’ll love them, but sometimes this doesn’t happen. You might have to think for uncomfortably long periods of time about yourself and who you are as a person. You might not like everything that you discover about yourself. But as most of the people who survived the ordeal will tell you: this is all part of writing your essays! We all went through it, and for better or for worse, learned a lot about ourselves.

You might get into your dream school. That school might be MIT. It might not be. But I can assure you: you’ll learn a lot from your college essays. For all of you reading this post, I wish you the best possible combination of events: you learn a lot about yourself AND you get into your dream school :)

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UC Personal Statement Prompt #1

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• Ph.D., English, University of Pennsylvania
• M.A., English, University of Pennsylvania
• B.S., Materials Science & Engineering and Literature, MIT

The article below is for the pre-2016 University of California application, and the suggestions are only marginally relevant for current applicants to the UC System. For tips on the new essay requirements, read this article:  Tips and Strategies for the 8 UC Personal Insight Questions .

The pre-2016 UC personal statement prompt #1 stated, "Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations." It's a question that every freshman applicant to one of the nine undergraduate UC campuses had to answer.

Note that this question has much in common with the Common Application option #1 on your background and identity.

Overview of the Question

The prompt sounds simple enough. After all, if there's one subject you know something about, it's the surroundings in which you live. But don't be fooled by how accessible the question appears to be. Admission to the University of California system is remarkably competitive, especially for some of the more elite campuses, and you should think carefully about the subtleties of the prompt.

Before answering the question, consider the purpose of the essay. The admissions officers want to get to know you. The essays are the one place where you can truly present your passions and personality. Test scores , GPAs , and other quantitative data do not really tell the university who you are; instead, they show that you are a capable student. But what really makes you you ? Each of the UC campuses receives far more applications than they can accept. Use the essay to show how you differ from all the other capable applicants.

Breaking Down the Question

The personal statement is, obviously, personal . It tells the admissions officers what you value, what gets you out of bed in the morning, what drives you to excel. Make sure your response to prompt #1 is specific and detailed, not broad and generic. To answer the prompt effectively, consider the following:

• "World" is a versatile term. The prompt gives "your family, community and school" as examples of possible "worlds," but they are just three examples. Where is it that you truly live? What really makes up your "world"? Is it your team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to wander?
• Focus on that word "how." How has your world shaped you? The prompt is asking you to be analytical and introspective. It is asking you to connect your environment to your identity. It is asking you to project forward and imagine your future. The best responses to prompt #1 highlight your analytical abilities.
• Avoid the obvious. If you write about your family or school, it's easy to focus on that teacher or parent who pushed you to excel. This isn't necessarily a bad approach to the essay, but make sure you provide enough specific details to paint a true portrait of yourself. Thousands of students could write an essay about how their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have written.
• Your "world" doesn't have to be a pretty place. Adversity sometimes shapes us more than positive experiences. If your world has been filled with challenges, feel free to write about them. You never want to sound like you are whining or complaining, but a good essay can explore how negative environmental forces have defined who you are.
• Stay on target. You have just 1,000 words with which to answer prompts #1 and #2. That's not much space. Make sure every word you write is necessary. Keep these 5 essay tips in mind , follow these suggestions for improving your essay's style , and cut anything in your essay that isn't defining your "world" and explaining "how" that world has defined you.

A Final Word on the UC Essays

For any essay on any college application, always keep the purpose of the essay in mind. The university is asking for an essay because it has holistic admissions . The UC schools want to know you as a whole person, not as a simple matrix of grades and standardized test scores. Make sure your essay makes a positive impression. The admissions folks should finish reading your essay thinking, "This is a student we want to join our university community."

• Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application
• How to Ace Your University of Wisconsin Personal Statements
• Tips for Writing a Winning College Transfer Essay
• Tips for Writing an Essay on an Event That Led to Personal Growth
• Tips for Writing a Winning College Application Essay
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue
• "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"—Sample Common Application Essay, Option #4
• Common Application Essay Option 2 Tips: Learning from Failure
• 2020-21 Common Application Essay Option 4—Solving a Problem
• Tips for the 8 University of California Personal Insight Questions
• UC Essay Examples for the Personal Insight Questions
• Common Application Essay Option 4—Gratitude
• Common Application Essay, Option 1: Share Your Story
• Ideal College Application Essay Length
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
• Sample College Transfer Essay

Home — Application Essay — Business School — The World I Come From is My Family

The World I Come From is My Family

• University: University of California, Berkeley

About this sample

Words: 509 |

Updated: Nov 30, 2023

Words: 509 | Pages: 1 | 3 min read

Introduction

That's how I'd describe the world I come from - my family. My sister just took a semester off from studying financial economics in New York to attend the Cordon Bleu, a pastry school in Tokyo. My brother is a reserved, taciturn character with an interest in arctic engineering. My mom, a law school graduate and an avid but non-preachy yogi, founded a jewelry company on the spur of the moment. My dad is a non-conformist dot-com bubble survivor with a penchant for abstract thinking. Then there's me, the youngest of my parents' three "genetic experiments". I have an unhealthy obsession with avocados; I speak four languages, but understand six; I'm even rumored to have wrestled and won against a bear... The World I Come From is my unique family.

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'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Unsurprisingly, my upbringing was quite Bohemian; my siblings and I were raised to the tune of three mantras.

• Mantra 1 : "Read the instructions, read them again, and then once more."

My mother's judicial background meant she ceaselessly emphasized the importance of meticulousness, which has resulted in my perfectionist tendencies. Reading carefully may seem like a simple task, yet many still fail. When my IKEA cupboard arrived, I carefully read the instruction manual several times, then threw it out. I spent the next 2 hours carefully whittling and molding the pieces to a 'chef-d'oeuvre' that made my spirits skyrocket. In short, I legitimately built an IKEA cupboard without having to go back to the manual. I'm not trying to brag, but that is no easy feat! I've heard tales of people using the instructions during the process, and still doing it wrong... If only they had met my mother!

• Mantra 2 : "17 is better than blue."

My father frequently challenged us to answer his strange questions about choice under uncertainty. "When you don't know the answer to a business-related question, would you rather respond with '17', 'blue', or not at all, and why?" Such discussions were held over breakfast, car rides, and even over Snapchat (yes, he has an account). He spent hours explaining specific terms to me - I learned about game theory, stock options, IPOs and even about Erlang (a programming language from the 70s). This early introduction to such topics awoke my interest in technology and even led me to take Business and Management as an IB subject.

• Mantra 3 : "If you don't buy a ticket, you can't win the lottery."

Lastly, I am lucky to have grown up in a household with a solid support system. No matter how wild our imaginations ran, my siblings and I had parents who were always there to cheer us on. Their doting but very much "laissez-faire" attitudes have made me the independent young woman I am as I write this essay. Without them, I would not have had the confidence to aim for the stars.

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To sum up the essay, I am a blend of my father's free-thinking spirit, my mother's shrewd scrupulousness, my sister's eccentric passions, and my brother's stoic pragmatism. Together, they have given me the courage and poise to aspire to greatness: living a life that can speak for itself.

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4 Tips for Writing Perfect University of Washington Essays

College Essays

The University of Washington is often ranked among public Ivy Leagues —that is, public schools with the academic clout and selectivity to elevate their reputations. So if you want to be a Husky, it's not just about good grades and test scores. You'll also need to prove yourself with a good University of Washington essay, combining your technical skill with your knowledge of the school and your reasons for wanting to attend to attract attention from admissions officers.

But to do that, you need to know how to write great UW essays. The University of Washington uses the Common Application , which can be submitted to multiple schools and includes an essay section with several different prompts. The supplemental UW essay prompts are pretty standard, but we have all the helpful tips you need to make sure your application is set to impress.

Feature Image: Cody Logan/ Wikimedia

What's Included in the University of Washington Essay Section?

There are two required essays you need to write for the University of Washington, along with an optional third essay. These essays are:

• Common App essay (650 words)
• Short response (300 words)
• Additional information (optional, 200 words)

Part of the Common App includes answering an essay prompt in 650 words or less. While there are seven Common App essay prompts, the University of Washington doesn't allow you to choose which prompt to answer; all applicants must answer the same prompt and submit them as part of their Common Application .  

The University of Washington application also includes a required short response question of 300 words and an optional short essay of 200 words.

Additional space is available, but it's recommended that you don't take it unless you absolutely need it. Show restraint when responding to UW essay prompts; it shows that you can be concise and follow directions , and you won't run the risk of volunteering too much information or making yourself memorable for the wrong reasons. That said, we'll cover some exceptions below!

What Is the Common Application Essay Prompt?

Although there are seven Common App essay prompts , the University of Washington requires you to answer a specific prompt; you don't get to choose. The maximum length of this essay is 650 words, but the University of Washington recommends the essay be closer to 300-400 words.

This is the Common App essay prompt you must answer:

Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

This essay prompt is pretty broad; it allows you to focus on any significant experience in your life. To answer it effectively, you'll want to relate a specific anecdote or event that had a strong impact on you as a person and how you define yourself today.

When answering this prompt, you'll want to choose a particularly significant experience. It doesn't need to be super rare, but the experience should hold deep meaning for you. Ask yourself: what defines you? What do you find important? Can you connect a key part of your personality or a goal you have to a specific event in your life?

You should also focus on only one experience. Don't try to cram in as many stories as possible—concentrate on the one incident that's most important to you, and use this essay as a chance to really delve into the specifics of it. How did the experience make you feel at the time? Why did it have such an impact on you?

If you decide to write about a negative experience, try to put a positive spin on it. You don't need to stick with a happy-go-lucky story—maybe you lost a friend because of a heated argument, or forgot to pick up your little brother from school one day. Regardless of the incident, keep the focus on how this situation ultimately taught you something important about life, such as the value of responsibility or the meaning of maturity.

Tips For Brainstorming Topics for Your University of Washington Essay

If you're struggling to come up with an experience to write about, try these brainstorming ideas:

• A time you helped someone in need, such as a friend, a classmate, or a sibling, and how your assistance revealed to you the value of cooperation or compassion. For example, did you tutor a peer in math? Help your sibling recover from a bullying incident?
• A time you made a mistake or acted against your true character and what this taught you about morality and being true to yourself. Perhaps you lied about a grade you got to your parents or said something out of anger to a friend and later regretted it.
• An incident that emphasizes a particular skill or ability you have. For example, you could write about the time you organized a winter holiday food drive at your high school and how it highlights your leadership skills and passion for social work.
• A time you faced a challenge and how you ultimately overcame it. Maybe you struggled severely with geometry and were about to fail your math class, but because of a great friend who encouraged you to keep trying, you eventually raised your grade from a D- to a B.

When writing this essay, make sure to avoid pretending something is more important or unique than it actually is. Don't tell a story the admissions committee has likely heard hundreds of times. Choose an event that speaks to your life and has had a large impact on how you see yourself. Basically, don't write about what you think the admissions committee wants to read. For example, instead of discussing how you've been in Honor Society since 9th grade, it'll be a lot more interesting if you wrote about somebody you met through Honor Society or why you decided to drop out of it.

Also, don't focus too much on the negative part of the story. While it's OK to write about a time when you made a mistake, did something wrong, or faced a challenge, try to avoid writing only about the bad parts. Your story should overall be optimistic and reveal something positive about yourself.

What Is the Short Answer Prompt?

Once you've finished the Common Application essay, the University of Washington has an additional requirement for you—a short response question with a 300 word limit.

The University of Washington suggests that concise writing is particularly valuable, and recommends that the Common App essay be between 300 and 400 words rather than 650. Though they don't offer word count recommendations for the other prompts, it's best to assume they're looking for short answers. Cutting out 100 words might feel excessive, but do try to leave some breathing room within your essay rather than squeaking in right under the allotted 300 words .

Additionally, the University of Washington states that students tend to answer this essay more informally than the longer essay. However, they expect formal, polished essays for both prompts, so don't slack off on proofreading or editing this essay.

For the UW short response essay, here is the required prompt:

Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW.

UW offers a helpful tip right below the prompt: "Keep in mind that the UW strives to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, values and viewpoints." What this means is that UW wants to see students who are going to be right at home in that diverse student body. When answering this question, consider specifically what you might add to the community. What perspective do you bring? What traits make you a good fit?

Some students might struggle with this, because it's easy to assume that UW means they're only looking for students from diverse backgrounds, such as students of color, LGBTQ+ students, or students of other marginalized identities. But the prompt doesn't at all mean that you have no chance if you don't belong to one of those communities. Students who fit into those groups may have an easier time of identifying what diversity they bring to the school, but belonging to a marginalized group doesn't in any way guarantee admission.

The University of Washington is looking for students who foster and embrace diversity, so be sure to think on those terms. Consider, for example, how your rambunctious family Thanksgiving taught you to embrace chaos, and how your ability to stop Great Aunt Kathy from throwing mashed potatoes at your cousin for bringing up a sensitive political issue translates to a college campus. Think about how having several different friend groups in high school—nerds and jocks, for example—taught you to move between spaces while always being your authentic self.

For students who are of marginalized backgrounds, the same advice still applies. You likely have different lived experiences than other students, but UW wants to know exactly what you're going to bring to the student community . You can discuss advocacy work, for example, or how your less advantageous upbringing taught you to work hard for everything you want. Always come back to that request to "Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW."

Embracing diversity isn't just about being a member of a marginalized community; think about how you participate in your social groups and how your experiences before college will help you have and, more importantly, create a good experience for others. Again, it's not about what identity you do or do not have, but rather about how you build communities and support others. UW is a big school, but you'll still be interacting with people from all walks of life on a daily basis—how will you navigate difference and fit into a student body made up of so many different people?

Let UW know exactly how they're going to help you make a slam dunk.

What Should You Add in the Additional Information Section?

The University of Washington essay prompt offers an additional 200 words for you to talk about yourself and your unique circumstances. This section is optional, and UW advises that the following types of students may benefit from taking the opportunity to expand on their application:

• You have experienced personal hardships in attaining your education
• Your activities have been limited because of work or family obligations
• You have experienced unusual limitations or opportunities unique to the schools you attended

Even if you don't fall into one of these groups, it's wise to take advantage of this additional space. Everyone has a goal that's important to them, after all, which is explicitly included in the second bullet point. However, you only have 200 words, so you'll need to make them count .

Again, UW mentions earlier in their guidelines for the writing section that they value brevity. Don't try to hit that 200 word mark just because it's there—use only the space that you need. Be succinct and clear about any obstacles you've overcome, what draws you to your major, and what makes you want to attend UW specifically.

For example, say you, like many prospective UW students, are interested in becoming a doctor. The University of Washington is highly ranked among medical schools , so saying you want to go there because it's a good medical program isn't doing any legwork in setting you apart from other students . Instead, use this space to talk about why your major is important to you, and why placement at UW is going to help you achieve more.

Following the medical school example, maybe your primary care doctor was a UW grad, and the depth of care they gave you convinced you it wasn't just what you know as a doctor that matters, but also how you deploy that knowledge. Because you want to make the same difference in somebody's life, you're applying to UW to have access to the same information and instruction that your doctor did. In essence, use this space to explain something you didn't have space to explain elsewhere, but make it count .

Be careful not to retread the same ground! This is an opportunity to flesh out your application, not to hammer something home. If you haven't had a chance to discuss that your grades slipped sophomore year because of a family illness or that your local library has a special box for you because of all the engineering books you keep checking out, now's the time to mention it. Keep it short, direct, and original—the admissions office is reading this supplemental section in the context of your application, so you don't need to revisit anything.

Careful not to fall into the trap of using more space than you need.

Should You Use the Additional Space? How?

It can be tempting to use UW's provided additional space to squeeze a few more words into your application, but resist it . Those word counts are there for a reason, and you should aim to get under, not exceed them.

That said, there are legitimate reasons to use this additional space. The University of Washington mentions clarifying answers from elsewhere on the application or providing extra information to the admissions office.

If you have special considerations as a student that you want to be sure the office is aware of, but that you didn't discuss in the previous additional information section, you could include that here. You could also include relevant awards or distinguishing recognition you've received. If your high school had an unusual grading system, it might be useful to explain how to interpret your grades.

But don't take the lack of a word requirement to mean that you can talk about whatever you want, or that you should use this space to expand on one of your earlier essays . Use only what you need, no more. Try to keep it under 200 words. Brevity is important!

Tips and Advice for the University of Washington Essays

Specific advice for each prompt will help you craft a better essay, but there are some general things to keep in mind, too !

Proofread Your UW Essays

It's a small space, so there should be fewer mistakes, right? Nope . You still need to proofread . Consider writing your essays by hand and then transcribing the drafts—it feels like more work, but turning written words into typed words is a great way to spot mistakes. Go through multiple drafts, and read your essay out loud before you submit it.

Don't let typos get through; no matter how good the rest of your essay is, a typo will make it look as though you didn't edit it at all, suggesting you didn't take your time. Do everything you can to avoid the perception that you wrote it up without thinking! On the UW admission website they are very specific that you should “write like it matters, not like you’re texting. This is an application for college, not a message to your friend.”

Get Editing Help

Seek feedback from those you trust, not just those who are going to tell you your essays are great . You want your essays to be as good as possible, so let people who are going to be truthful with you make suggestions. They'll help you write a better essay, and a fresh pair of eyes can spot holes in your logic and errors you might miss after repeated revisions.

Think about going to teachers or counselors rather than friends or family. Though they undoubtedly want to help you, they might also be worried about hurting your feelings. Someone who's a little more objective but still wants to see you succeed is the kind of editor you want.

Be Specific

Always remember that you're applying to the University of Washington. Don't just write an essay that could impress any college (that's what the Common Application essay is for!); write one that ties into UW's core values . Their vision includes an emphasis on discovery, research, community, optimism, and even celebrating the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest. All of these are angles ripe for exploration in your essays . If one of your answers is lacking, try folding a little of this vision into it by finding parts of your essay that match the mission and making them stand out more.

Read Essays That Got Students Into UW

It can be tricky finding essays that got applicants into UW, but it can also be a great indicator of what the school values in an application. Take these essays by Issa Rice . Though written for a different set of prompts, it's not hard to see why Rice was accepted.

Notice how his essays could only come from him; they're so tied to personal experience that it's unlikely anyone else would have the same essay. That's the kind of personalization you want to strive for. Your essay should speak about your own unique experience and leave the admissions office with a clearer picture of who you are as a person, not just as a collection of grades and test scores.

What's Next?

Crafting a perfect essay is just one part of the admissions process to the University of Washington. Because UW is a moderately selective school, you need to be aware of all admissions requirements before applying to be sure that your application is up to snuff .

As you're writing and rewriting your UW essay, be sure that it meets all the guidelines of a good college essay in addition to the UW requirements. A little extra polish will go a long way to cementing your application in the admission office's memory!

If you're struggling to understand why UW uses the Coalition App and what that means, never fear! We have all the information on what distinguishes one application system from another , helping you plan your college applications with less stress.

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Melissa Brinks graduated from the University of Washington in 2014 with a Bachelor's in English with a creative writing emphasis. She has spent several years tutoring K-12 students in many subjects, including in SAT prep, to help them prepare for their college education.

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How to Write the MIT Application Essays 2023-2024

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, colloquially known as MIT, is known as one of the world’s most prestigious research universities with top programs in STEM. Consistently ranked in the top 5 national universities, MIT draws in accomplished students from across the globe. 

Located just outside of Boston in Cambridge, Massachusetts, MIT affords students the opportunity to explore their intellectual and extracurricular passions in a thriving urban setting. Beyond STEM, MIT also offers students an equally prestigious business and entrepreneurship program, making its urban environment all the more conducive for both business and engineering opportunities. 

Keep in mind that MIT does not use the Common Application, and instead uses its own system called MyMIT . For the 2023-2024 application cycle, MIT is requiring students to complete 5 additional essays, all of which, understandably, can seem quite intimidating upon first glance. However, CollegeVine is here to help and offer our guide on how to tackle MIT’s essays!

Read these MIT essay examples to inspire your writing.

MIT Application Essay Prompts

Prompt 1: What field of study appeals to you the most right now? (Note: Applicants select from a drop-down list). Tell us more about why this field of study at MIT appeals to you. (100 words)

Prompt 2: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (150 words)

Prompt 3: How has the world you come from—including your opportunities, experiences, and challenges—shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200 words)

Prompt 4: MIT brings people with diverse backgrounds together to collaborate, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to lending a helping hand. Describe one way you have collaborated with others to learn from them, with them, or contribute to your community together. (200 words)

Prompt 5: How did you manage a situation or challenge that you didn’t expect? What did you learn from it? (200 words)

Prompt 6 (optional): No application can meet the needs of every individual. If there is significant information that you were not able to include elsewhere in the application, you may include it here. (Many students will leave this section blank—and that’s okay.) (350 words)

What field of study appeals to you the most right now? Tell us more about why this field of study at MIT appeals to you. (100 words)

This prompt is the classic “Why This Major?” question, that asks you what you want to study and why you want to study it. Most importantly, it asks you why you want to study this major at MIT. Ultimately, the most compelling response to this essay prompt is one that:

• Demonstrates your passion for the major that you have chosen.
• Integrates your past and present studies and interests seamlessly with your future at MIT and your long-term academic and professional goals.
• Addresses specifically why MIT―the campus, resources, faculty, programs, and opportunities―is the place where you need and want to study.

MIT has a unique list of distinctive majors . Before you start brainstorming and drafting a response to this prompt, spend ample time exploring the various courses on the MIT website. You should pinpoint a few courses of study that appeal to you and then dive deeper into what the curricular emphasis is of each course of study, what resources and opportunities are available, and which faculty might you be interested in studying with or whose research you find compelling. 

The key phrase in this prompt is “right now,” which many schools don’t include in their “Why This Major” essay prompt, but which all schools imply. This key phrase means that if you matriculate at MIT, you will in no way be required to major in the field of study that you write about in response to this prompt. You are free to choose and change your major, and most students change their major at least once during their college career.

For anyone who has many interests, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to choose just one major to write about. It is completely fine, and even expected, that you may be undecided , but spend time condensing your list of potential majors to one or two that you are truly interested in pursuing further. 

This straightforward prompt requires a concise response since it has only a 100-word limit. While specificity is still important, there is less space for detail than in the other 200 word prompts that MIT asks you to write. 

Once you have introduced the field of study that most appeals to you, you will need to discuss why this field appeals to you. The reasons that you give need to be authentic reasons; they should be based on pure intellectual curiosity, personal goals, and strongly held values. Avoid listing prestige, post-graduation salary, or your parents’ desires as reasons for choosing your major or MIT. The admissions committee wants to know what you are genuinely passionate about and why. 

Here are some key questions to consider before writing: 

• What past experiences of yours have influenced your decision to study this field at MIT? 
• What coursework or independent study have you pursued in this field?
• What classes are you interested in taking at MIT?
• Who are the teachers that you have had, thought leaders in this field, or other role models that inspire you to pursue this course of study?
• Who are the professors or researchers at MIT that you would want to learn from or work with? 
• Who are the people that you wish to serve, or whose lives you hope to improve, through working or doing research in this field? 
• How did you first discover this field of study? 
• How do you engage with this field of study inside and outside of the classroom?
• How do you envision yourself using this field of study in your future career?
• Why is this field of study personally meaningful to you?

With these ideas in mind, you should be able to write a concise response about why you have picked your major of choice and why MIT will be the perfect fit for you.

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (150 words)

First, remember that the prompt is asking for an activity that isn’t required of you . If you’re the captain of your school’s varsity basketball team, then don’t write about basketball (even if you do play for pleasure outside of school). MIT wants to know something about you that they can’t already find elsewhere in your application, something outside of your academic and extracurricular responsibilities. Essentially, MIT is asking you: “ What do you do in your free time? ”

A great way to approach this prompt is to construct a brief anecdote to illustrate your passions. Do you love reading because you enjoy imagining yourself in fictional worlds? Do you find peace in painting natural scenery? Now is a great time to describe these experiences.

Here are some examples:

• Photography – Sitting on the pier, you watch as the sky transitions from blue to yellow, and from yellow to orange. With your camera in hand, you capture the exact moment that the sun touches the horizon, the moment that the colors begin to fade into a gradient. Perhaps the sound of your camera’s shutter acts as an instant stress reliever. Or perhaps you love the ability to capture nature’s wonders from a different perspective. Either way, the vivid imagery here makes writing an anecdote a very powerful approach.
• Baking – Do you love the aroma of homemade baking? Do you love experimenting with new recipes and creations? Maybe you love the meticulousness of measuring out ingredients and combining them to form one cohesive unit. If this sounds like you, write an anecdote about how you use baking as an outlet for your creativity. Use sensory details to briefly go through the process of that new cupcake recipe you came up with, sharing with the reader your passion for innovative baking. You’ll definitely make the admissions officer drool a little bit with this one.
• Rubik’s Cube – You love the thrill of solving a challenging puzzle. Starting with no instructions, you figured out the secret behind solving the cube and how to move each square to the right place. After a few more tries, you can now solve it in just a few minutes, a reflection of your ability to quickly learn and master difficult puzzles. While this may be a “nerdier” example, don’t be afraid to let your inner nerd shine (this is MIT after all). 

What makes each of these examples strong is the employment of imagery and sensory details. Although the response must be brief, you want to make the admissions officer interested in what you love; appealing to the five senses is an excellent way to do so. Don’t tell them that you love photography, show them that you love it by transforming your answer into a story.

Be honest — don’t lie for the sake of sounding more impressive. While volunteering at the local homeless shelter may sound very humble, don’t write about that if it isn’t what you actually do in your free time. MIT can spot essays that try too hard and lying about humanitarian efforts is definitely one of those instances. 

While it’s important to be honest, make sure to also use good judgment when articulating your response. Generally, anything goes for this prompt and you can essentially write about anything you’re passionate about. But if your favorite activity is “looking at memes,” it might be better to choose something else.

How has the world you come from—including your opportunities, experiences, and challenges—shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200 words)

Out of the many prompts, this one is the most open-ended. MIT is asking this question to see how your environment has shaped you as an individual. When thinking about your “world”, think about the unique culture, community, and people you have interacted with and consider how they each have contributed to the person you are today. Consider how they have shaped your value systems and the way you view the world. 

A great way to start brainstorming for this prompt is to think about your dreams and aspirations first; what do you hope to achieve in your lifetime? Next, reflect on specific opportunities, experiences and challenges that you have faced in your community and evaluate how these factored into your individuality and personal goals. 

Perhaps you grew up on a Native American preservation and were a central figure in the tribe’s pow-pow committee but faced backlash from park rangers for planning rituals in public areas, and this fueled your desire to work in politics to defend indigenous land-rights. Or maybe your childhood love for building Lego masterpieces contributed to your goal of becoming a civil engineer. Either way, remember to reflect on your past (or present) and use this reflection to analyze your future.

What each of these examples succeeds in doing is analyzing the “world” from the lens of challenges, experiences, and opportunities that led to a specific dream or aspiration.

MIT brings people with diverse backgrounds together to collaborate, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to lending a helping hand. Describe one way you have collaborated with others to learn from them, with them, or contribute to your community together. (200 words)

For this prompt, MIT wants to see your selfless side by looking at the strategies you take to help those around you. Don’t panic if you haven’t saved hundreds of lives or discovered the cure for cancer; as the prompt suggests, helping your community can be as simple as lending a shoulder for your friend to cry on. Your community can be practically any group from family, neighbors, classmates, sports team, etc.

Whether big or small, think of a time that you made a positive impact on one or more people. Maybe you have experience volunteering at the Red Cross or at your local retirement home. Or maybe you founded a club at your school with the goal of bringing education to children in need. No matter what the cause is, show the admissions officers your generosity and willingness to make a difference in your community.

Here are a few more examples:

• Tutoring a Teammate – One of your cross country teammates said that she was struggling in her Algebra 2 class, and was worried about failing. She didn’t see the point of math and thought she was just “bad” at it. You volunteered to tutor her for free on a weekly basis. After just a month of your tutoring sessions, your teammate got her first A on a test. This sparked your interest in teaching math, as you were able to get your teammate to not only understand math concepts, but also appreciate them.
• Food Waste Campaign – You noticed your school cafeteria was generating tons of daily food waste, so you created a campaign to implement a compositing system and encourage students to reduce their waste. You gathered a team to research different composting services, contact your principal and the school board, and create educational materials on how to compost correctly. The program was successful at your school and diverted several tons of food from the landfill weekly. You’re currently working on getting the system implemented across the district.

What both of these examples succeed at doing is describing the impact that an action has on others. Whether it be putting a smile on someone’s face or preventing a child from contracting a deadly disease, remember to show the reader what the outcome of your efforts were. Tying in your personal development is another great way to heighten the magnitude of your contribution, as it gives your actions more significant personal meaning. Ask yourself: How did you grow from this experience? What changes did you see?

How did you manage a situation or challenge that you didn’t expect? What did you learn from it? (200 words)

The idea of this prompt is similar to the archetypal “ Overcoming a Challenge ” prompt. Whether it is a personal situation or a challenge, MIT wants to know how you handle difficult situations that suddenly arise and what you learn from such experiences.

You want to construct an anecdote that goes through both the situation and/or challenge and your thought process. When crafting your response, start by briefly describing the situation or challenge, making sure to answer the question, “ What was so significant about this event? ” Next, go into detail about the steps you took to approach the unexpected event and how you went about this process. Make sure to discuss the outcome of the situation and show the admissions officer how you matured from this experience, specifically identifying what you have learned from this experience. The most common mistake students make is to focus too much on the situation or challenge, rather than their thought process, emotions, and their growth.

As you brainstorm and begin drafting your response, here are some guided questions to get you thinking:

• Why was this challenge so important to you? What is the significance?
• At that moment, what was your reaction to the situation? How did it affect you (thoughts, emotions)?
• Were the steps you took to manage the situation successful? Why or why not?
• How did this challenge allow you to grow and mature as an individual?

Try to avoid “challenges” that are too trivial; although you may be upset that you got a B on that one calculus test, this is not a significant enough challenge to analyze. For this prompt, it’s important to demonstrate personal growth and maturity, as this shows your capacity to adapt to difficult environments.

You should also try to avoid challenges that are cliche , such as:

• A sports injury
• Working hard in a difficult class
• Adjusting to a new culture or school
• Facing tragedy (death, illness, abuse)
• Romantic relationships and breakups

These tend to be very common experiences that have a predictable outcome, often focus too much on the challenge instead of your growth, or are simply inappropriate topics for your essay. Of course, you can still choose to write on a common topic if you feel that you can write something especially meaningful, but it’s better to find a more original experience to share.

You can, however, “spin” a cliche topic. For example, the “sports injury” essay tends to go: you get injured, can’t play, have to go through rehab, and you eventually get back on the field and succeed. A more unique approach would be to talk about how your injury led you to start a blog while you were recovering, and that became a big passion. Or, how your injury made you realize that you actually liked the strategy of the sport more than the actual sport, which led to your interest in competitive chess.

Here are some good examples:

• You had to switch positions last-minute on your Model UN simulation of the Nuremberg Trials. You’d researched and prepared your arguments for months, but a delegate showed up late, so you needed to represent the opposite side you’d prepared for. Instead of panicking, you gather as much info as you can in a short time to argue the other perspective. When it’s your turn to speak, you blank out, however, and the Committee Director says they’ll come back to you. You take a deep breath, refocus, and re-outline your notes. When it’s time to speak again, you present a confident and articulate argument. The experience teaches you the importance of both preparation and adaptability.
• You are passionate about robotics and wanted to start a competitive robotics club at your school. You gathered a group of interested students and began the process of getting the club approved by the administration. To your disappointment, your club was rejected. Instead of accepting defeat, you and your peers petitioned the school in hopes of having the board members reconsider their decision. While you didn’t ultimately win over the school board, you discovered your talent for persuasive speaking in the process, and decided to join the Debate Team. You’ve since won several awards and even got to give a local TED Talk.

No application can meet the needs of every individual. If there is significant information that you were not able to include elsewhere in the application, you may include it here. (Many students will leave this section blank—and that’s okay.) (350 words)

This is your typical “ Additional Information ” prompt, and while we usually recommend that you fill out all optional prompts, this is an exception. As MIT says themselves, many students won’t need this space to complete their application.

However, if you have unusual circumstances or a significant experience you weren’t able to address, you should write about it here. Some potential topics include:

• Family responsibilities that prevented you from taking on traditional extracurriculars
• Financial hardships
• Death of a loved one
• Unique extracurricular that can’t be fully explained in the Activities section

While your other essays should have a more narrative quality, your response here can be more straightforward, and you also don’t need to take up the full 350 words. 

Just avoid using this space for topics that may be deemed trivial, such as explaining that B on your transcript when you otherwise have straight A’s. Significant dips in grades for reasons out of your control are certainly fine to explain, but make sure that anything you cover here is actually a major part of your high school experience and development.

It’s important to note that in light of the Supreme Court striking down the use of affirmative action in college admissions, many colleges have added open-ended prompts that give students the opportunity to discuss their racial background. Because the ruling allows colleges to consider race on an individual basis, essays are the prime place for you to reveal your racial background and its effect on you. If you feel that your racial background has impacted you significantly, this is the place to discuss that.

Where to Get Your MIT Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your MIT essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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MIT the world you come from essay

lmy125 4 / 12   Oct 19, 2009   #2 Hi, I'm from China. I'm thinking that the environment that shaped you maybe be America not China cause it is in US that you lived for 12 years.. it is where you grew up. I don't know... it's up to you..

bilal ABUZENAH 15 / 81   Oct 24, 2009   #3 hi, I agree with lmy . but if you did not mention to this point I immigrated to America when I was five china would be the environment that shaped you. inested of five you may say { I immigrated to America when I was twelve} or more.

umarker - / 1   Oct 24, 2009   #4 Because he's returned to China every summer, I think it's very much a significant part of his world.

The World I’ve Come From

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In 200-250 words, describe how your dreams and aspirations have been shaped by the world you come from, including factors such as your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town.

Growing up in my immigrant Russian Jewish family was like playing a game of chess. Each family member had their own role and tactics, all aimed at achieving success in our new country. Being the eldest child, I felt immense pressure to meet my parents’ expectations and be a role model for my siblings. This pressure motivated me to wake up at 3 AM to study chess with the goal of winning the US Nationals, and stay awake all night memorizing formulas for AIME and USAMO.

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After spending two weeks continuously refining my Connect Four program, I came to the realization that my motivation was not to gain validation from others, but rather to achieve personal success and excellence. However, the demanding schedule of school and volunteer work left me with no time to socialize and form new connections. As a solution, I took the initiative to establish a local Heritage Club which offers an open invitation to anyone interested. Through this club, we aim to deepen our understanding of contemporary political and cultural events while fostering bonds among its members.

Throughout my college years, I eagerly anticipate the evolution of nerdiness in my world, a characteristic that I take pride in.

From a young age, I have taken great pride in my persistence and dedication. When I was just two years old, my dad introduced me to chess, which required immense effort to maintain focus. However, I quickly developed a talent for persistence and spent countless hours perfecting my moves. Even now, we fondly reminisce about the amusing photos of me as a toddler, almost tasting chess pieces.

I thrive on challenges that come with learning new skills and often dedicate long periods of time to preparing for math and programming competitions by repeatedly reviewing difficult concepts. Despite moments of frustration with my progress, I am determined to continue practicing both the violin and guitar.

When tutoring in math or teaching seniors about technology, patience and dedication prove valuable. These qualities also allow me to assist my siblings with their homework, avoiding major disappointments. Additionally, I actively contribute to the safety of my town; I participated in the Junior Police Academy and the Prosecutor’s Summer Internship for four years, and underwent training with State Troopers. This physical challenge had a profound impact on my strength and fitness. When coding, I can maintain focus for extended periods of time. My recent accomplishment is a computerized Connect Four game that surpasses the strategies of most existing applications.

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Community Essay Examples

When crafting your college applications, writing strong essays is essential. Through your essays, you demonstrate who you are – from your values and passions to your lived experiences. In addition to the personal statement , which is the most common college essay, you will likely have to write some supplemental essays as part of your college application requirements. One of the most common supplemental essay types is the community essay. This essay type is also known as a describe the community you live in essay,  cultural diversity essay, or community service essay.

In this article, we will introduce several community essay examples and describe why they are considered college essays that worked. Specifically, we will share community essay examples from the two  schools:

• Princeton University
• Columbia University

By studying these admissions essay samples, you can see what makes these college community essay examples strong and apply those same principles to your writing.

Reviewing Types of College Essays

While each school has different supplemental essay prompts for their college application requirements, there are a few types of essays that are most common. By becoming familiar with these essay types, you can begin to brainstorm and strategize what you will write about early on, perhaps even as a sophomore or junior in high school. 

Now, let’s take a look at the most common supplementary essay questions.

Common Supplementary Essay Questions

1. why school.

A Why School essay is, as it sounds, about why you wish to attend a specific institution. The key to answering this prompt well is to be specific, identifying examples of what you like about a school. Avoid general comments such as “it is a top school” or “it is diverse.” Share specific programs, professors, teaching approaches, cultural elements, or unique opportunities such as research or study abroad.

2. Why Major

The Why Major essay asks you to share specific reasons behind your choice of major and how it relates to your future goals. A strong response to a Why Major essay not only highlights your specific motivations, but also connects those to a school’s unique opportunities. For example, perhaps you wish to be a pre-law history major, and the school you are applying to offers law-related internships. By highlighting these specific connections, you draw a compelling connection between yourself and the school.

3. Extracurricular Activity

Many schools ask you to describe an extracurricular activity that is particularly meaningful for you. When responding to this question, do not feel limited to only talk about the most popular extracurricular activities for college applications, like clubs or sports. Consider all of the activities you do outside of school, and choose the one that is most meaningful to you. Also, give specific examples of how you grew or made an impact within your extracurricular activities for college.

4. Community Essay

The Community Essay can have slightly different angles to it, but the uniting factor is that the school wants to know how you engage with others around you. Some types of community essays are a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay. In recent years, the cultural diversity essay has been a more common college application requirement.

Coming up, we will share a bit more about how to break down community essay prompts. We’ll also take a look at college essays that worked so that you’ll know how to approach these common prompts..

How to identify a community essay?

While community essays can have slightly different focuses, they all share the goal of learning about where you come from. If a supplemental essay prompt is asking you, in some way, to share more about your background via a group you are part of, it is likely a community essay. Indeed, a community essay can also be called a describe the community you live in essay, or a cultural diversity essay. Other college community essay examples focus on how you will contribute to a college campus. Finally, in a describe a community you belong to essay example, you will see that students highlight any community that is meaningful to them.

You may be wondering why so many colleges have community essays as a college application requirement. For one, many colleges use a holistic admissions process. This means they care about all aspects of who you are, not simply your grades and test scores. How you engage with your communities shows them your character and values. For example, a describe the community you live in essay example about visiting church every Sunday demonstrates your commitment to religion. Similarly, a cultural diversity essay helps colleges learn more about your cultural background. 

Additionally, colleges want to learn more about how you will engage with their on-campus community. You’ll notice this important factor in the college community essay examples we will share. To some degree, how you have engaged with previous communities can be an indicator of how you will show up on their campus.

How is a community essay different?

As we mentioned, community essays can have slightly different focuses. Some prompts ask you to write a describe the community you live in essay. These types of community essays are more like cultural diversity essays. 

Keep in mind that the word “community” can have many different meanings. A community can be your school, church, or neighborhood. It could also stem from your interests. For example, your dance or robotics team can form your community.

Some community essay prompts want to know specifically how you help strengthen your communities. These types of essays are considered a community service essay. Another term for community service is “civic engagement.” Examples of civic engagement might be getting people in your cultural community to sign up to vote or helping with church fundraisers to ensure that your local community has the resources it needs to thrive. 

In sum, the keywords you might see in a community essay prompt are “civic engagement,” “community service,” “serve your community,” “contribute to your community,” or “diversity.” No matter how it’s phrased, your essay should demonstrate the impact you’ve had on your community–whichever one you choose to highlight. 

What are some examples of community essays?

In this article, we will share several community essay examples. Specifically, we will highlight Princeton essay examples and Columbia essays examples. Let’s look at these two colleges’ essay prompts. 

The first Princeton supplemental essay prompt is a part of our college community essay examples and our cultural diversity essay examples. Here is the prompt:

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #1: Cultural Diversity Essay and College Community Essay Examples

Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff and leadership to engage in respectful conversations that can expand their perspectives and challenge their ideas and beliefs. as a prospective member of this community, reflect on how your lived experiences will impact the conversations you will have in the classroom, the dining hall or other campus spaces. what lessons have you learned in life thus far what will your classmates learn from you in short, how has your lived experience shaped you  (please respond in 500 words or fewer.).

In this cultural diversity essay prompt, Princeton wants to know about your lived experiences. By this, they refer to any experiences that have shaped you profoundly. A lived experience can be a specific event, such as experiencing a car crash or winning an award. Or, it could be a set of experiences that resulted from life circumstances, such as being a first-generation college student or having taken a gap year .

This essay prompt will also lead to college community essay examples. In addition to hearing about your lived experiences and how they impacted you, Princeton wants to know how you will bring those lessons to the Princeton community, should you enroll . Also, note that this prompt mentions challenging ideas and beliefs via conversation. As you respond, look for ways to highlight how you have engaged in fruitful dialogue and how you would do so at Princeton.

To answer this prompt effectively, share specific examples. Additionally, be sure to and answer all parts of the prompt. 

Princeton has a second supplemental essay prompt that focuses on how you engage with your community outside of the classroom. The prompt is as follows: 

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #2: Civic Engagement

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer) .

To answer this prompt well, you must highlight specific examples of how you have positively impacted your community. As a starting point, consider which of your communities you have most engaged with. How have you done so and what results did you have?

The Columbia Community Essay Prompt is another of our college community essay examples. It is a cultural diversity essay, as well. Here is the prompt: 

Columbia Community Essay Prompt: A Cultural Diversity Essay

A hallmark of the columbia experience is being able to learn and thrive in an equitable and inclusive community with a wide range of perspectives. tell us about an aspect of your own perspective, viewpoint or lived experience that is important to you, and describe how it has shaped the way you would learn from and contribute to columbia’s diverse and collaborative community. (150 words or fewer).

While this prompt is similar to Princeton’s, it also references perspectives and viewpoints. In doing so, the prompt opens you up to share opinions or values that are important to you. You might consider highlighting values in your family or community that you either hold close or disagree with. 

Note that Columbia also highlights the word “collaborative” in this prompt. This indicates that your cultural diversity essay should also show how you collaborate with others.

Which schools require a community essay?

In addition to Princeton and Columbia, many other schools have community essays as part of their college application requirements. Here are some other examples of community essay prompts:

In this UNC-Chapel Hill prompt , you must describe a specific example of how you made an impact on a community. The prompt reads:

The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill: A Community Service Essay Prompt

Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. this could be your current community or another community you have engaged. (250-word limit).

In responding, be sure to highlight what community you are referencing, the specific impact you made, and what personal quality helped you do so.

This prompt from UMichigan is a describe a community you belong to essay example, as well as a cultural diversity essay:

The University of Michigan: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (required for all applicants. 1,500 character limit.).

In addition to describing the community, make sure to share how you engage with it and what it has taught you. Remember that community is a broad term, so for this prompt you can respond with any type of community in mind, whether physical or cultural. In contrast to the describe the community you live in essay, you do not have to be geographically close to the community you describe here.

Duke University: Cultural Diversity Essay Prompts

Duke offers students five supplemental prompts to choose from, of which they can reply to two. Of these supplemental prompts, four are examples of cultural diversity essays:

1. We believe a wide range of viewpoints, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to maintaining Duke as a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community.

2. we believe there is benefit in sharing or questioning our beliefs or values; who do you agree with on the big important things, or who do you have your most interesting disagreements with what are you agreeing or disagreeing about, 3. duke’s commitment to inclusion and belonging includes sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. feel free to share with us more about how your identity in this context has meaning for you as an individual or as a member of a community., 4. we recognize that not fully “fitting in” a community or place can sometimes be difficult. duke values the effort, resilience, and independence that may require. feel free to share with us circumstances where something about you is different and how that’s influenced your experiences or identity..

Each of these prompts is a slightly different type of cultural diversity essay, from sharing a range of opinions to not fitting in within a community. Choose the essay prompts that most resonate with you, and share specific examples that bring your cultural diversity essay to life.

In this Yale University supplemental prompt , you must choose a community that you feel connected to and describe why it is meaningful. Here’s the prompt:

Yale University: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Reflect on your membership in a community to which you feel connected. why is this community meaningful to you you may define community however you like. (400-word limit).

When responding, be sure to highlight what you have learned or how you have grown from this community. In contrast to a describe the community you live in essay, this essay can be about any community, near or far, that resonates with you. Indeed, the prompt gives you plenty of leeway in what you consider community. 

When responding to the UC system prompts , you must choose four of the eight available personal insight questions. One of the PIQs is a community service essay prompt:

The University of California Personal Insight Question: A Community Service Prompt

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place, things to consider: think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. you can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community, why were you inspired to act what did you learn from your effort how did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community.

Similar to many of the other prompts, when answering this question, be sure to identify the specific impact you made on your community.

Now that we have looked at various examples of community essay prompts, we can explore community essay examples. Reading essay examples is a great way to get inspired to write your own college essays. 

In each of the highlighted college essays that worked, note what the author did expertly. Rather than trying to copy their responses, topics, or ideas, consider how you can apply those same skills to your writing. 

Princeton Community Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Princeton essay examples that respond to their two community essay prompts: a cultural diversity essay and a community service essay. 

The first of our Princeton essay examples responds to the following Princeton prompt: 

Princeton Essay Examples #1: Cultural Diversity Essay

Now, let’s take a look at a student’s response to this prompt focusing on lived experiences. 

Princeton Essay Examples #1 Student Response

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values.

In the face of distinct cultures and customs, we forge a single identity as Highland Parkers and come together to organize large community events. The most prevalent example is our highly touted annual Memorial Day parade, where we join together with neighboring New Brunswick to invite military service members, family members of our fallen war heroes, our legislative and congressional representatives, and our townspeople. Moreover, as our high school band’s vice president, I help organize and lead our ensemble into these performances with a positive and uplifting spirit. We communicate with the town government and arrange the performances every year to perform at the parade. The parade is an example of many of our large community events that serve as a unifying force for our diverse community, reminding us that we are fundamentally connected as one cohesive group, despite our differences. 

As someone deeply interested in historical and political matters, I am well aware of the consequences that arise from dictatorial protocols that limit the freedom of speech and diversity of voices. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument, and I have learned to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind. For example, in a Model Congress debate, I found myself advocating for the interests of a state heavily reliant on traditional fossil fuels. While researching and articulating that perspective, I gained insights into the economic challenges faced by the states that are reliant on these resources. This experience not only broadened my understanding of the complexities surrounding environmental policies but also highlighted the necessity of considering diverse viewpoints for comprehensive decision-making. 

My background and experiences have fostered in me a profound appreciation for the value of diversity, inclusivity, and the pursuit of knowledge. At Princeton University, I will seek to contribute as an active participant in the community, actively provide unique perspectives and insights, and respect and learn from others’ perspectives even if there are disagreements. I wish to partake in student government, which has like-minded peers who want to make a substantive impact, and also participate in service programs like the Civic Leadership Council. Also, I hope to increase my impact from the leadership positions I currently hold on the Red Cross club and teen mayoral advisory council using the platforms in Princeton. I look forward to making a positive impact on both the campus and the broader community. 

Why This Cultural Diversity Essay Worked

In the first of our Princeton essay examples, the student successfully responds to all parts of the Princeton prompt. They begin by describing their community and sharing some details about its makeup. Indeed, the first sentence hooks the reader–it is unique and compelling. 

Then, the student illustrates how they specifically contribute to their community each year by leading the high school band in the Memorial Day parade. They also highlight how their experience in Model UN shaped their appreciation for diverse perspectives. In sharing these two examples, the student demonstrates their leadership and open-minded thinking. Finally, the student ends by highlighting how they would use these values to contribute to Princeton’s community– by partaking in student government and Civic Leadership Council, among other activities.

In the second of our Princeton essay examples, the student responds to the second Princeton prompt which is: 

Princeton Essay Examples #2: A Community Service Essay

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer).

And, here is a student’s response:

Princeton Essay Examples #2 Student Response

My first experience with the Red Cross was when my older sister was desperately trying to recruit people to join the club during the harsh COVID year. Things were so bad for the club that I, as a freshman, ran for the position of treasurer unopposed. My first blood drive experience was marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among blood donors. Even many donors who showed up ended up being turned away due to health-related issues. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it. 

However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives started to regain momentum; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. I have realized that, despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like Community Action at Princeton to serve the Princeton community and abroad.

Why This Essay Worked

In this admissions essay sample, we learn about a student’s volunteerism with the Red Cross as an example of civic engagement. This essay works for several reasons. First, it provides a specific example of the student’s civic engagement and demonstrates their impact by becoming vice president and increasing membership. Secondly, the essay provides an honest take on the struggles of this service experience, which lends credibility and authenticity to the story. 

The student also demonstrates an important lesson learned. This aligns with Princeton’s values– that students can have a positive impact on society. 

Columbia University Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Columbia essays examples that landed students admission to the prestigious Ivy League university. The first of our Columbia essays examples is written by the same student who responded to the first Princeton prompt above. Here’s a reminder of the Columbia prompt: 

As you read the example below, notice how the student edited their Princeton cultural diversity essay to meet the prompt and lower word count for Columbia:

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values. 

HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation.

At Columbia University, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. Actively engaging in student groups such as ColumbiaVotes will be a big part of my experience. 

Since the Columbia essay prompt only allows for a 150-word response, this could pose a challenge for many students. What makes this essay among the Columbia essays examples that worked is how succinctly it completely answers the prompt. 

The response begins by hooking the reader with a relevant detail of the student’s community. Then, the student shares how this community shaped them by influencing their values of diversity and inclusion. Finally, the student shares how they would engage with a Columbia organization that also supports diverse viewpoints. Though short and sweet, this response clearly answers all parts of the Columbia prompt. 

More Community Essay Examples

The final of our community essay examples is a community service essay. Let’s look at how student framed their service experience:

“I don’t believe that’s the best way to do this.” 

The moment I thought this the first time I volunteered at my local soup kitchen was one that resulted in a drastic change. When I was informed of the way the food was being served to the public, the initial excitement that I had felt diminished. We were told that the plates would be served before anyone arrived and would remain in an area where people could pick it up and seat themselves. I felt that this method was impersonal and inconsiderate, and disappointment washed over me. 

I turned to the people that were around me and discovered that they shared the same disapproval I felt. When we agreed that a change must be made, we exchanged ideas on how to present this to the woman in charge of the program. I suggested that we should serve each person one-by-one, and only give them the food if they wanted to/could eat it. They suggested multiple ideas, including that we should offer to seat them, hold their plates for them, continue to check in on them, and dispose of their plates once they finish their meal. We believed that this way would genuinely make them feel better and would allow us to get to know some of them personally. A simple smile and conversation could be enough to improve their day. 

From this day on, the way in which the local soup kitchen serves our community has changed dramatically. This experience taught me the importance of speaking up for what you believe in. In a group setting, it is likely that there will be others who share the same end goal and are willing to contribute different ideas to achieve the goal. These different perspectives can allow you to see situations in ways that you previously hadn’t, and can result in better outcomes. It also showed me the importance of leadership.

If I had never spoken up about the way the food was being served, a change might have never happened. When you work in the group, the end goal may not be for the benefit of anyone in the group, but for others who are in need. This experience also showed me the beauty in doing good for others and making others happy, even through small things such as serving them food to their liking.

In this community service essay, the student shares about their experience volunteering at a soup kitchen. While volunteering at a soup kitchen is not necessarily unique in the list of extracurricular activities for college applications, the student highlights several aspects of the experience that make it meaningful to them. 

To start, the student shares their experience challenging the way that food was served. The student suggested that food be served directly to attendees in order to better connect with community members. Through this experience, the student learns about leadership and working with others to achieve a common goal. This specific example demonstrates the student’s collaborative values and compassionate way of thinking, both of which are great attributes to highlight in college applications.

How To Write A Community Essay

As we saw in the community essay examples, there are several hallmarks of college essays that worked. To write a good community essay, whether it be a community service essay, a cultural diversity essay, or a describe the community you live in essay, you must start by understanding the prompt. Once you have carefully read through the prompt, brainstorm examples from your own life that relate to it. Sharing specific details and examples will make your response stronger and more unique. 

Additionally, showcase how you grew throughout your response. In each of the community essay examples we shared, the student discussed a skill or perspective they developed through their experiences. Finally, connect your response to the school you are applying to. If you are writing a cultural diversity essay, for example, demonstrate how you would contribute to the cultural diversity at that school, both inside the classroom and in your extracurricular activities for college.  

Topics To Avoid In Your Community Essay

When writing community essays, there is technically no topic that you cannot discuss. However, how you discuss certain topics is important. 

For example, in a community service essay, it is important to not come off as a savior of a community with less privilege than yourself. Similarly, if you are writing a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay, you will want to avoid stereotyping any community. Speaking from your own personal experience as a member of a community is fine. However, generalizing your experience to the community at large can come across as insensitive to that community’s diversity. To avoid these pitfalls, have a variety of people read your community essay examples and look for these dynamics.

Additional Tips for Community Essays

In addition to the strengths we highlighted in the community essay examples above, we will now share some more tips for making your community essays a strong part of your college applications:

Tips for Writing Community Essays

1. research the college.

When reviewing our college community essay examples, you will notice that students highlight specific clubs, programs, or groups on campus to which they will contribute. If you are specific, you demonstrate real interest in the school which adds strength to your college applications.

2. Tell a story

In each of the college essays that worked, students gave details that told a full story . This story incorporated where they come from and what they learned through their experiences. Rather than telling us who they were, the students used this particular story to show us.

As the college admissions landscape gets ever more competitive, students are sometimes tempted to read other students’ essays and copy ideas. Or, more recently, they may even want to use artificial intelligence to write their essays. However, AI and other students’ experiences won’t show admissions who you really are. Rather than worrying about whether you have the best extracurricular activities for college or the most unique cultural diversity essay, talk about the experiences that truly matter to you. By being honest, you are more likely to come across as convincing and interesting. In each of our college community essay examples, students presented a true and well-thought-out response to the prompts.

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore 

As you work on your college applications, you might be in search of additional resources. CollegeAdvisor has a wealth of webinars and articles that can help you navigate writing your essays. Here are a few:

More CollegeAdvisor Resources for Essays

1. short essay examples.

Some of the cultural diversity essays you may write will be short, meaning that they are 150 words or less. This article with short essay examples can help you understand how to write short and sweet cultural diversity essays.

2. Cultural Diversity Essay Examples

In this article , you will find additional examples of cultural diversity essays. Since many community essays are also cultural diversity essays, becoming familiar with how students write about their cultures is useful.

3. The Ultimate Guide to Supplemental Essays

In this webinar , CollegeAdvisor experts provide a rundown of how to write strong supplemental essays for your college applications. In particular, this webinar will help you decode essay prompts and make sure you answer each prompt fully.

4. Editing Your Supplemental Essays

Once you have read up on college community essay examples and written your cultural diversity essays, you might need help editing them. This webinar will provide tips for how to edit your supplemental essays effectively.

Community Essay Examples – Final Thoughts

Completing your college applications can be a daunting task, especially when you must write multiple essays. For some students, writing cultural diversity essays is challenging as the prompts ask you to dig deep and reflect upon your life influences.

In this guide to community essays, we provided an overview of what a community essay is and how to respond to the different types of community essay prompts. We shared cultural diversity essay examples and describe the community you live in essay examples. We also described what makes these essays strong and how they meet college application requirements. 

In short, the key to writing stand-out essays is to be authentic and thorough in your responses. If you need additional help writing your cultural diversity essay, seek out the support of a trusted resource like CollegeAdvisor. We are here to help you craft the best college applications that could gain you admissions to the school of your dreams!

This article was written by Courtney Ng. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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