how to be true to yourself essay

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The importance of being true to yourself.

Being true to yourself is a life-long practice that requires commitment and re-commitment, moment to moment, as you grow and evolve. The answer to what is true for you always exists at the core of who you are, if you give yourself the space and time to listen.

When you are being true to yourself, you are completely honest with what you feel, deeply value, and desire. It also means communicating your feelings wholeheartedly both with yourself and others, allowing your truth to flow through you and into the world.

To know your truth fully and express it authentically, you first need to cultivate a deep and trusting relationship with yourself. Ultimately, this begins with awareness of your thoughts, as well as awareness of your whole-body experience and how you interact with the world each day.

You can expand your awareness and strengthen the connection with yourself through introspective practices such as meditation, yoga, and journal writing. These practices help you become more present and establish reference points to identify when you are (or are not) living in alignment with the deeper aspect of yourself. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to self-correct when you are out of alignment.

Understanding when you are in alignment or out of alignment may often be based on an intuitive feeling rather than a thought. Feelings of openness, expansion, inner joy and freedom are good signs that you are on the right path. Conversely, if you are not being true to yourself, it may show up through feelings of contraction and tension, unease, disconnection, resignation, emptiness, discontentment, or a lack of fulfillment.

By learning to pay attention to your deeper senses and feelings, and by cultivating greater awareness in your life, you can establish a strong connection to yourself and feel confident in knowing what is deeply true for you.

But what is true, also yearns to be expressed. So it is up to each of us to be courageous in bringing forth our own truth, expressing it fully and authentically in the world.

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How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.” [1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone .

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by staying true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’ [2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again , and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude , seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you .

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence, [3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Staying true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

More Tips About Living Your True Self

• How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment
• How To Be True To You When Life Pulls You Off Track
• How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life

Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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How to Live With Authenticity and Be Your Truest Self

Ippei Naoi/Moment/Getty

While there is no universally agreed-upon definition of what authenticity means, researchers generally describe it as a state of self-awareness and self-determination that allows a person to act in ways that align with their core values , beliefs, and psychological needs .

In that sense, being authentic can be just as important for your wellbeing as food, shelter, and sleep. Just as you would eat when you’re hungry or sleep when you’re tired, you need to act in ways that fulfill those core values and emotional needs.  

What Is Authenticity in Positive Psychology?

In an article published in New Ideas in Psychology, researchers identified the following four components of authenticity:

• Experience, or paying full attention to your present environment and internal state.
• Understanding, or reflecting on that present experience to better understand the connections between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Judgment, which is meant more in the analytical sense of identifying whether or not this experience aligns with your core values and fulfills your psychological needs.
• Decision, or choosing a response to this experience that is aligned with those values and psychological needs.

In short, authenticity is about paying attention to all of the relevant details in a situation and making decisions based on what feels most in sync with your true self.

What Is an Example of an Authentic Person?

In theory, that four-part process sounds simple enough. But what does that actually look like in practice? What is the “self” and how do you know your acting in sync with it?

In psychology, the self refers to a collection of ideas we each have about who we are. This includes our various social roles like parent, hiker, and nurse as well as secondary traits like curious, generous, or ambitious. Most of us define ourselves according to multiple roles and traits , all of which are true but not all of which can be aligned in every situation.

For example, the nurse who is also a parent may often encounter situations where the two roles conflict. Maybe they’re scheduled to work on the night of the school play. Maybe their child gets sick the morning before they’re supposed to go to work.

An authentic person doesn’t try to pick any one of these many dimensions as their truest self. Instead, they constantly self-reflect and look for balance. Being authentic is about identifying all of the aspects of yourself that matter to you and making sure that you’re acting in ways that align with each of them, even if some situations require you to privilege one aspect over others.

Why Is It Hard to Be Fully Authentic?

As fulfilling as it can be to live authentically, actually doing so all the time can be difficult for a lot of people. People with mental illnesses, for example, often don’t feel safe or encouraged to be authentic. “There is still a great deal of stigma surrounding mental illness,” said Dr. Sam Zand , psychiatrist and founder of the Anywhere Clinic. “This can make it difficult for people to talk about their experiences or seek help without fear of judgment or discrimination.”

Beyond fearing judgment or discrimination, certain conditions can make it hard to achieve those four components of authenticity defined earlier. “Schizophrenia or some personality disorders can make it difficult for a person to understand their own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,” Dr. Sand explained. He also noted that these and other conditions like depression, anxiety, or trauma can erode a person’s sense of trust in their own thoughts, feelings, and values.

It’s hard to be your truest self if you’re overwhelmed by doubt about what the truest version of yourself self would even look like.

In other cases, that true self might be in conflict with societal norms. Clinical social worker and therapist, Erika Nelson , explained that this can often be the case for Autistic people. “For Autistic folks a huge value often centers on fairness and justice to the point that many of my patients struggle to function in a traditional workplace because when attempting to express their core values and beliefs it does not align with how the system needs people to behave or work,” Nelson said.

If your true self is not accepted by society or the environment you’re in, behaving authentically can be painful or even dangerous. The same is true for trauma survivors, according to therapist and program manager at Thrive Therapy & Counseling, Ileana Arganda-Stevens . “If our needs or preferences are consistently ignored or punished during childhood or in an important relationship, we may learn it isn't safe or worthwhile for us to notice or express our needs and preferences.”

In abusive or hostile environments like that, survival may depend on suppressing their psychological needs or hiding their true selves. As a result, Arganda-Stevens said, “we learn that there's no room for our authentic selves.”

5 Ways to Develop Authenticity

If you’re struggling to be more authentic, try incorporating these strategies.

Practice Mindfulness

The key to authenticity is developing the self-awareness to know who your truest self is. It’s tough to know that when you spend so much of your day trying to suppress your emotions and intuition, meet the expectations of others, or go after the goals you’re supposed to want. Mindfulness is a great way to bring your attention back to all of those things you’re suppressing.

If you’ve never tried it before, carve out just five minutes of your day to sit somewhere quiet, even if it’s just going out to sit in your car during your lunch break. Set a timer and then put away your phone. Close your eyes and just notice your physical and emotional state right now. Name the feelings and sensations but avoid trying to justify or explain or challenge them. Your mind is going to wander during this process. When it does, just notice that it did and bring it back to the exercise.

Over time, this exercise will help strengthen your self-awareness, so you’re more conscious of those moments when you’re behaving in ways that don’t align with your true self.

Define the Actions That Would Be Authentic

If you don’t feel like you’re being fully authentic right now, reflect on the specific actions or behaviors that come to mind as examples of that inauthenticity. Also reflect on what specific actions or behaviors would feel more authentic.

If you struggle with a mental illness, for example, maybe you’re avoiding treatment for fear of friends, family, or coworkers finding out. If you’re in an unhappy relationship , maybe you’ve been putting off confronting the fact that it might be time to end it. If you’re in a career you hate, maybe you’re ignoring the fact that it isn’t the right career path for you.

Once you can identify the key issues that make you feel inauthentic, you can start thinking about steps you can take to work toward being true to yourself. You might not be ready to take the leap of ending a relationship or making a career change, but you can find smaller steps that feel less intimidating and move you in the right direction. For example, step one might be just acknowledging that truth.

Find Ways to Act on Your Core Values and Beliefs

Use the self-awareness and reflection tips mentioned above to identify your core values and beliefs. Then, think of ways that you can act on those. If you care about animals, volunteer at a local animal shelter on weekends.

If you value independence, challenge yourself to learn a new DIY skill, like changing your car’s oil or fixing that wobbly chair leg. If you have a strong sense of justice, find a local organization working toward a cause you care about.

Stop and Reflect Before Making Decisions

One of the best ways to live more authentically is to get in the habit of reflecting before making an important decision. Important, in this case, means any decision that could impact your physical or mental wellbeing, including those that could conflict with your core values and beliefs.

Jot down the four components of authenticity described earlier and use that as a kind of blueprint for reflecting on the decision you’re currently facing and figuring out what the most authentic choice would be.

Don't Shame Yourself for Surviving

If safeguarding your wellbeing and meeting your basic needs means masking or code-switching, as they sometimes do for people with mental illness or who belong to marginalized groups, do what you need to do to survive. Instead of directing that sense of shame or disappointment about being inauthentic at yourself, channel that energy into finding ways to reduce the need to be inauthentic.

If you’re in a hostile work environment, for example, start job hunting to try to find a more welcoming and inclusive workplace. If you face judgment from family, look for support groups, counseling, or online communities where you can get the nurturing and support you aren’t getting from the people closest to you.

Do what you need to do to survive, while always working toward creating a life where your survival no longer depends on hiding your truest self.

Helminiak DA, Feingold BD, Donahue MJ. Clarifications about Lonergan’s “authenticity” for application in psychology . New Ideas in Psychology. 2020;57:100773. Doi:10.1016/j.newideapsych.2019.100773

Touré-Tillery M, Light AE. No self to spare: How the cognitive structure of the self influences moral behavior . Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes. 2018;147:48-64. Doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2018.05.002

By Rachael Green Rachael is a New York-based writer and freelance writer for Verywell Mind, where she leverages her decades of personal experience with and research on mental illness—particularly ADHD and depression—to help readers better understand how their mind works and how to manage their mental health.

Authenticity

How to be true to yourself as a young adult, a village raises an authentic individual, suggests a new study..

Posted August 25, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• An authentic individual is one who strives for an alignment between the inner self and its outward expression.
• A new study examined authenticity along three dimensions: self-alienation, authentic living, and accepting external influence.
• You can develop certain aspects of authenticity on your own, but external intervention can have immense positive, holistic effects.

A new study published in Personality and Individual Differences explains how living authentically is a product of team effort. The research suggests that while you can develop certain aspects of authenticity on your own, external intervention can have immense positive effects on the development of authenticity holistically.

What Is Authenticity?

“In a nutshell, authenticity means being true to oneself,” states psychologist Petra Kipfelsberger of the University of St. Gallen in Switzerland.

Kipfelsberger’s study defined authenticity along three dimensions:

• Self-alienation: This dimension can be illustrated by the subjective experiences of "being out of touch" with oneself or even "not knowing oneself." An individual who has a high level of authenticity typically has a low level of self-alienation.
• Authentic living: Authentic living results from behaving in ways that are true to one’s core self in most situations. A highly authentic individual would be high on this dimension.
• Accepting external influence: This dimension measures the degree to which an individual is driven by and conforms to others’ expectations instead of one’s own values and beliefs. A highly authentic individual usually ranks low on this dimension.

According to Kipfelsberger and her research, an authentic individual is one who strives for an alignment between the inner self (i.e., cognitions, emotions, values, and beliefs) and its outward expression. This definition implies that individuals may struggle to achieve authentic self-expression in many contexts and roles, such as at work and at home.

The study was conducted with a sample of 170 students that were enrolled in an eight-month career and personal development program to help them develop authenticity during their first year at university.

Key Findings of Study

At the end of the study, the results of the treatment group were compared with those of the control group (who did not go through the program). The study revealed three key findings:

• There were differential effects on the three dimensions of authenticity: Some authenticity dimensions developed naturally, while others developed through the intervention.
• The intervention increased participants’ levels of authentic living but did not affect self-alienation.
• Acceptance of external influence decreased naturally, but more so with the intervention.

Suggestions for Living Authentically

For anyone who might be struggling to live authentically, Kipfelsberger has the following suggestions:

• Ask yourself about which factor or behaviors of authenticity you are struggling with. It is important to gain awareness by self-reflection that something in your life is not as it could be.
• Differentiate between "should" and "could" thinking. While the "shoulds" might represent norms and others’ expectations, the "coulds" might symbolize your hidden potential or dreams .

“These questions might allow someone to see the benefits of his or her thoughts and, in the best case, let him or her keep the positive side of self-reflection, doubts, and hesitance while uncovering the hindering factors and potential paralysis included in those thoughts,” clarifies Kipfelsberger.

Wisdom for 20-Somethings

Kipfelsberger’s research also holds important wisdom for 20-somethings:

• People who have crossed their 20s might be able to help other young people develop their authenticity by engaging as coaches—that is, asking them good questions, listening to them, and helping them experiment with different options of authentic living.
• People in their late 20s and beyond might still struggle to be true to themselves, not because they have had too little natural or formal development but rather because authenticity is a lifelong journey.

Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder.

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7 Highly Effective Ways To Be True To Yourself

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Every day we are bombarded with pressures to be someone that we’re not.

Advertising and people with something to sell regularly poke our insecurities to get us to open our wallets.

Friends and family can be just as bad. Far too often, they are looking for us to meet the image of who we are in their head, rather than the person we actually are.

Authenticity is not as valued as it should be unless it’s part of a sales pitch for a business consultant giving a keynote speech or trying to sell their latest book.

And work is just as bad. You can’t be yourself at most places of employment. You must be someone else to do your job effectively. Screaming back at the customers is highly frowned upon and will most certainly earn you a disciplinary action, or “coaching for improvement.”

How do you stay true to yourself while wading through all of this?

1. Know who you are and what you stand for.

How can you be true to yourself if you don’t know who you are? What you stand for?

A particular part of your brain knows when you are in tune with something right for you. It may give you a feeling of comfort or familiarity, as in, “This feels right for me.”

It could also be the opposite. You may also feel as though this is drastically wrong, that it’s not good or right for you, and that discomfort may compel you to want to change it.

You can more easily identify what is important to you by what evokes your strongest emotions, then look for the reasons behind those emotions.

A person may feel incredibly passionate about childhood hunger because they went hungry as a child. Or maybe they just refuse to accept the injustice of a child going hungry because it’s something beyond their control.

The clearer you understand the “why” of your emotions, the easier it is to get to the truth of who you are and who you want to be.

2. Act with honesty and integrity.

People aren’t always that good. Sometimes we are selfish, shortsighted, vengeful, or wrestling with any other problems that come with the human condition.

We may be looking for shortcuts to get ahead, skip doing the hard work, and find our way to the top of the ladder while sacrificing as little as possible. And that is possible to do, but it doesn’t feel good at all when you’re trying to find peace and happiness with yourself.

Acting with honesty and integrity is difficult in a world that so often punishes it. Many people don’t want to hear, see, or feel the effects of truth, especially when their wrong-doing comes to light.

The good news is that you can avoid that concern altogether by acting on what you believe to be right, with honesty and integrity.

Honesty is acting in alignment with what you know to be true, which aligns with the desire to be true to oneself.

Respect your moral compass, even when it seems impossible to do. In fact, that’s the time when it’s most important.

Sometimes – often, even – you will have to say no to people in order to stay true to yourself. As difficult as this may be, it’ll feel much better than going along with something that doesn’t sit well with you.

3. Care less about what other people think of you.

It’s natural to want to be liked by others, but being the type of person who is liked by everyone is rarely compatible with being true to yourself.

This partly comes down to acting with the honesty and integrity mentioned above because this often goes hand in hand with being assertive and not bending to the will of others. Many people don’t like it when their views or wishes are challenged.

Then there is the fact that, by being real to who you are, you may find you have fewer things in common with people you call friends. This realization can be disheartening, but it shouldn’t stop you from pursuing your personal truth.

As your actions begin to align with your true self, you’ll see that some of the relationships you have in life will not survive, and that is okay.

You can’t be liked by everyone, but you will be liked by some people, and that is enough.

4. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

To be vulnerable is to accept all of the facets of yourself. There are some things you won’t like about yourself that may cause you pain or discomfort. That’s okay. That’s part of being human.

The people who act like this isn’t the case haven’t yet experienced something severe enough to change their perception. But they will, sooner or later.

Vulnerability has some interesting effects. First, it scares off people that aren’t necessarily emotionally intelligent or invested. They see those problems and don’t want to deal with them, so they scurry off elsewhere.

That is a great thing. There are few things worse for your life and sense of self than being surrounded by fair-weather people that don’t actually care about you.

The second significant benefit that vulnerability provides is connection. It allows other people who feel a similar way to see that you understand their pain or challenges, which gives you an opportunity for connection and the discovery of truth.

5. Choose your attitude when facing adversity.

Drawing closer to who you are and what you want out of life is a difficult challenge. It will likely require attempting and failing as you sort through what does and doesn’t work for you.

That can be incredibly depressing and far more difficult if you are defeatist about failing. You will have a challenging time learning and acting as you truly are unless you can carry a good attitude about not succeeding.

It’s about perspective. Virtually no one succeeds on their first try of anything. It takes practice, making mistakes, even more practice, even more mistakes! The key is to not look at failing as an end but as a single step on your much longer self-discovery journey.

If you have mental health issues, this will be hard. Depression and self-esteem issues love to paint any setbacks as earth-shattering negatives and prove that we are failures or worthless. These thoughts are lies created by mental illness, abuse, or traumatic circumstances.

The plan didn’t work out? Okay. Let’s find a new plan. How do you keep moving forward toward that goal?

6. Discard materialism as a means of fulfillment.

The trappings of materialism won’t help you connect with and live in tune with your true self.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want anything or not like having some stuff. That’s totally fine.

Materialism gets into problematic territory when you’re looking for things to best represent who you are so that you can prove to the rest of the world that you are a particular thing.

What good is having a fancy car to impress other people when you have to bury yourself in debt to get it?

What use are designer clothes, shoes, and handbags, whose primary value is derived from the brand name?

And furthermore, the salaries required to purchase these things often demand at least 50-hour workweeks. Sometimes much more if you are struggling to get the golden handcuffs off.

How much of your time, of yourself, do you want to sacrifice for these things?

Again, it’s not about living a totally austere lifestyle. Buy stuff if you want it and can afford it. Just don’t buy stuff to try to represent yourself to other people. That will put you on a treadmill of consumerism that never ends and will take you much farther away from yourself than you care to be.

7. Allow yourself the freedom to grow and develop.

There’s a problem with being in touch with your true self. A big problem, actually. It assumes that our true selves are someone worth being in touch with.

But humanity is ugly and messy at times. People are greedy, jealous, angry, and all other things that are not productive for living a quality, happy, peaceful life.

Your true self may not be the paragon of virtue that you hope it to be, and that’s okay! It just means you’re human and have some work to do.

You are not condemned to being the person that you are. You can learn, grow, do new things, evolve your authentic self into someone better than you were yesterday.

If you don’t like your true self – change. You have the power and ability to sculpt yourself in whatever image you want. It will just take time and effort to get there.

Don’t limit yourself to who you think you are. After some digging, you may find that you are much greater than expected.

You may also like:

• How To Find Yourself: 11 Ways To Discover Your True Identity
• 4 Signs You’re Lying To Yourself (+ 6 Ways To Stop It)
• 36 Important Self-Reflection Questions To Aid Introspection
• How To Be Yourself: 5 Tips For Being Real, Authentic, And Not Fake
• If You Don’t Know Who You Are, Read This
• How To Trust Yourself: 20 No Nonsense Tips!
• 6 Self-Awareness Activities That Really Make A Difference

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About The Author

Jack Nollan is a mental health writer of 10 years who pairs lived experience with evidence-based information to provide perspectives from the side of the mental health consumer. Jack has lived with Bipolar Disorder and Bipolar-depression for almost 30 years. With hands-on experience as the facilitator of a mental health support group, Jack has a firm grasp of the wide range of struggles people face when their mind is not in the healthiest of places. Jack is an activist who is passionate about helping disadvantaged people find a better path.

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How to Stay True to Yourself

Last Updated: August 7, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 156,993 times.

Staying true to yourself is a matter of personal integrity and self-respect. It involves standing up for your own values and not caving into the demands or expectations of others. Being true to yourself can lead to independence, confidence, happiness, and an ability to navigate through life more effectively, leading to a sense of fulfillment that you’ve given your best self to the world. It can be tough to navigate life with personal integrity and a sense of self—especially when you’re young—but being true to yourself can make you more fulfilled as a person.

Acting with Integrity in Social Situations

• For example, if some of your friends are singing the praise of a film that you didn’t enjoy, you can say something like, “I’m glad you guys like the movie, but it didn’t do much for me.”

• This will show your friends that you have personal morals and won’t change your behavior simply because it gets a laugh.

• Choose your friends wisely. Be close with genuinely kind and nice people, not cruel or detracting ones. Make sure that your friends support and admire you for being yourself; if they don’t, question their motives and the reasons for your friendships.
• Make sure you have friends or close family members that can serve as your integrity accountability mentors. This person should help you when you need to consult someone about making decisions in line with your values.

• For example, if your friends all love watching rugby games, but you’re not into sports, don’t go along with them just to feel like you fit in. Instead, say something like, “How about we do something different for once? Let’s go bowling.”

wikiHow Quiz: What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need?

Pick a sea creature:, figuring yourself out.

• Your values may change over time. Your list won't remain static, and that's fine. The point is to check in with yourself and clarify your values. You can do this exercise any time to help you with that process.
• If you are struggling to come up with a list on your own, you can look for one online to help get you started.

• For example, maybe one of your siblings is an incredible athlete. But, you lack their athletic talent. That’s fine! Figure out what you are good at: maybe that’s art or business, for example.
• Or, if you hang around with people who constantly play video games but realize you’re not interested in that lifestyle, find a way to spend less time around video games and more time doing something you truly enjoy.

• For example, if you fail a test in high school or college, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, figure out what you did wrong that made you fail, and work to correct that error on your next test.

• For example, say you want to be a musician. First, be specific: decide what type of music you’d like to play, and at what professional level. Then, decide if you can attain these goals. (If you want to be the conductor of a local high-school band, that’s very achievable. If you want to be the next Jimi Hendrix, that may be less attainable.)
• Make sure your goal of being a musician is relevant to your personal interests (even after 1, 3, or 5 years have passed), and give yourself a specific time limit in which to meet your goals.

Avoiding a Negative Self-Image

• However, this isn’t to say that you can’t learn from positive and constructive feedback about improving yourself from friends and family. Those you trust will sometimes be excellent sources of suggestions for ways to improve yourself that will help bring out your true talents and abilities
• For example, if a friend says, “I think that you need to work on your temper; you’ve been angry lately and it’s starting to drive your friends away,” their advice would be worth listening to.

• Good at the guitar.
• Sympathetic.
• Ambitious when it comes to following my passions.
• Good listener.

• This activity will help you develop a positive self-image. A positive self-image will encourage you to stay true to yourself and your beliefs, since you will feel less pressure to be someone you’re not or to act in a way you find inauthentic.

• For example, maybe you’re impatient, or maybe you realize you have a bit of a temper. It’s okay to work on improving these aspects of your personality, without devolving to self-hatred or denial.

Expert Q&A

• Don’t change yourself to impress someone else! If they can’t accept who you are, then it’s not worth it. Thanks Helpful 36 Not Helpful 2
• Never listen to anybody who tells you that you aren’t good enough. Everybody is beautiful in one way or another. Thanks Helpful 35 Not Helpful 3
• If you aren’t satisfied with yourself, the only way to stay true to yourself is to figure out who you are. Many of us aren’t sure who we are or who we’ve like to become, and that is totally okay. Thanks Helpful 35 Not Helpful 4

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• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201506/5-ways-build-trust-and-honesty-in-your-relationship
• ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/prevent
• ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-makes-a-good-friend
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_be_fully_authentic
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201811/6-ways-discover-and-choose-your-core-values
• ↑ https://alis.alberta.ca/careerinsite/know-yourself/
• ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-get-over-making-a-mistake
• ↑ https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/practice/resources/phqitoolbox/objectives.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201603/how-not-worry-about-what-others-think-you
• ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image
• ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/use_your_strengths
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202102/embrace-your-imperfections

About This Article

Staying true to yourself can lead to more happiness, confidence, and independence. Part of being true to yourself is saying what you mean. While it can be tempting to give in to peer pressure or social expectations, people who are true to themselves resist this impulse and express their honest thoughts and feelings. This honesty extends to not hiding your character or preferences. For example, if your friends love watching football, but you’re not into sports, don’t go along with them just to fit in. If you’re not sure what your true interests or values are, then take some time to figure yourself out. Think about what you’re good at, what you like to spend time doing, and what’s important to you. To learn how to embrace your flaws, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Be Yourself Essay | An Essay On Embracing Your True Self and Love Yourself

December 30, 2021 by Prasanna

Be Yourself Essay: We were born with a secret; all of us have always been mired deep down in the ocean of our own internal storms, our thoughts carved into the whiteness of our souls. Each one of us takes their own path on their journey of self-discovery, but what lets us through is this emotional journey that sets the stage for who we have become right now, and it might never happen again. This essay outlines the reasons why you should be yourself and love yourself.

You can also find more  Essay Writing  articles on events, persons, sports, technology and many more.

How To Embrace Your True Self?

The future is bright for those who embrace their true self and are unafraid of a free market in which they can pursue their dreams with ease. Be curious about what’s happening in the world, practice mindfulness to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. The reason we may not embrace our true selves is that life is dictated by societal norms. We were not living up to how the world wanted us to be. We weren’t fulfilled; it’s an empty feeling that isn’t filled with happiness. There is fear in not understanding who we are, or what our true potential is, so how do we embrace ourselves free from prejudice and expectations? There is one important step that everyone can take to be their best and most true selves every day.

Today, society thinks that it is important to be like everyone else and alter their true selves in order to fit into a certain “mold”. You should not be afraid of being “different” and embracing your true self. In the future, we will hopefully learn how to accept each other’s differences and embrace people from various cultures and backgrounds. Lastly, understand what is truly unique about you and start reflecting on questions like these:

• What would I be to others if I didn’t care about everything they say?
• What would I see and experience if I accepted the way I am?
• Am I here because of what I have achieved, or what I choose to achieve?
• Do I have the right to look back and call myself a good man or woman?
• What motivates me the most?

Being Yourself Is The Key To True Happiness

One of the most important things you can do in your life is to love yourself. Self-love is different from self-centered. In order to stay the person that you want to be throughout your entire journey, you have to be truly happy with who you are. When we are compassionate and loving towards ourselves, we are able to free ourselves from holding on to judgements about who we think we should be. We need to let go of that idea of having a particular image or desired outcome when it is actually up to us as individuals to define ourselves and run with it. We are learning to be who we want to be, in the way that we want.

In order for this movement of self-love to work in your favor, you need to genuinely love every part of you, right now. It does not make sense to hang on to what is no longer useful to you. Remember, you may have issues with forgetting who you are and what your priorities are at this moment in time, but we can take steps to fix this. Let’s start by loving from our heart, rather than making judgements about who we are or what our beliefs and behaviors are. This is the true apology for all the ‘dog eat dog’ behavior that many of us think is ‘okay’.

Finding Your True Identity And Purpose

Experiencing and educating oneself on the importance of finding one’s true self is no easy feat. However, in a world where our natural talents are stolen from us by technology and ever-changing lifestyles, it can feel like an uphill battle. Be yourself and love yourself for all of your endless potential. The future is bright for embracing your true self and discovering the people that surround you.

• Acknowledge your talent and unique worth –  When self-acceptance is received through the lens of confidence, other people are naturally drawn to the individual. We all have a unique set of skills and gifts that make us who we are, and it is so important to accept our beliefs and values every day. It can be tough to break out of society’s mold and remember your worth. It can be easy to abandon our standards of being a good person. Don’t let society beat us down, assess our abilities and motives with criticality, listen to your inner voice and lastly, respect yourself.
• Believe in yourself – This is a powerful quote that means you should have faith in your abilities and skills. It also means that you should have confidence in your decisions and the actions you take. We need to believe that all humans have limitless potential. All of us are beautiful, smart, strong and all-encompassing in our own unique way.
• Invest in yourself – This can be done through joining clubs, attending seminars, reading books, or just doing general self-reflection. It is important for people to invest in their needs because needs are often overlooked and not addressed.
• Reject any role models on social media who make you feel bad about yourself, because everyone is unique in their own way. It is okay to celebrate the people we idolize, but we also need to celebrate who we are at the same time.
• Find an activity you love and stick to it, but don’t do it to make yourself feel better, do it because it makes you happy and helps you figure out your limits and what makes you strong. It takes time to grow into yourself.

How To Act With Integrity And Improve Intellectually

The future may sound scary, especially for teenagers. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone has a natural tendency to lose sight of themselves, their interests and what they have to offer; not because we’re not special, but because we’ve lost our purpose in life. We forget how much other people care about us and how much good we can really do as one single person while being humble and honest with ourselves.

Mental Health And Cognition

Mental health is often overlooked, but it may be one of the most important aspects of having a happy life. Embracing your true self can have profound effects on mental health that people often don’t expect. Instead of trying to please everyone else, focus on self-care, whether it’s changing what you eat or doing an exercise. Pursuing these habits may seem tough at first, but they will give you the feeling of satisfaction like nothing else ever will. When you have a healthy mindset, you can make even the most difficult things seem easy to accomplish.The main difference between self-improvement and mental health is not whether or not something can cause a problem; it’s whether or not that problem is worth the struggle. Fight for your interests, relationships and goals.

How To Stay Motivated During Difficult Times

Not only is it hard to stay motivated, but it can also be hard to keep up with what we need to do. This feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm can lead us to give up on our goals and put things off until later. The solution is realizing that this isn’t an uncommon experience. It’s totally normal for people to feel unmotivated at times, and there are ways we can work through these feelings so they don’t stop us from achieving our dreams. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark and ugly it seems.

How Do I Stop Belittling Myself?

This type of self-talk is called “self-criticism” and is a very common response to stress. One way to do that is by finding empowering thoughts in your life. For example, look at all the skills you have, or think about how much you have already accomplished in your life. Also, instead of focusing on changing your entire attitude about yourself, try to change one thing at a time. For instance, if you want to stop talking down to yourself, try listening to your thoughts and catch yourself saying something negative about yourself. If this happens, stop yourself and change the sentence in your head to something more positive.

Conclusion on Be Yourself Essay

We live in a world of uncertainty and change, but that doesn’t mean that we should be scared or give up hope. The future is what you make of it. And the more you take care and invest in yourself, the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be. And regardless of how our society evolves, it’s important to embrace and love your true self.

FAQ’s On Being Yourself

Question 1. What does it mean to be yourself?

Answer: It means to be happy, content, and excited about life. It means being present in the moment, not dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future. It means committing time to your passions and interests. It also means looking at what you have- not what you don’t have- and embracing your strengths and working on your weaknesses.

Question 2. Why is it important to be yourself?

Answer: One of the biggest things in life is to be yourself. We all have our own personality and quirks that make us unique individuals. Hence, it is important to be true to oneself.

Question 3. How can I be my own person?

Answer: You are born as a blank slate. As you grow up, you become the sum of all the experiences you have had. Your personality is shaped by everything that has happened to you, and it is up to you to decide what sort of person you want to be.

Question 4. Why is it so hard to be yourself?

Answer: Many people have a hard time being themselves because they are afraid of what other people think. They are afraid of being judged by their peers. When you are true to yourself, however, you feel liberated and alive. The amount of happiness that can be gained from doing this outweighs any judgment that may come your way.

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“Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown

I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be.

I was a tomboy growing up. I climbed trees when other girls played with dolls, I played soccer in my teenage years when other girls wore dresses and went to parties, and even as an adult I preferred to watch the Saturday afternoon game rather than go shopping.

But the pressure to fit in and be liked turned me into a social chameleon. I tried to be the person I felt I should be so I’d blend in with those around me, whether that meant spending a Friday night at the pub or attending a corporate meeting at the head office.

Psychologist William James said, “A man has as many social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups.”

I’ve spent my life trying to fit in. I’ve always wanted to please people, to make my parents proud, and to receive approval from anyone and everyone—my family, friends, partners, bosses, and teachers.

So without even realizing it I would change myself, my desires, and sometimes even my opinions to fit into whatever mold was required at the time. But if you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people, it may be true that you’ve already forgotten your value.

Last year I quit my corporate career to pursue my dream of being a writer and yoga teacher, but it took many years to get to that point. For so long I’d had these dreams in my heart, but the logic of my head overruled.

There was always a difference between what I wanted and what I thought I should want—my opinion and the norm of society somehow differed—and I’d always assumed I must be the one off beam.

This leads to a life of sacrificing ourselves to please others, living their dreams at the expense of our own.

I found the more I listened to, abided by, and fuelled these stereotypes, the more I was defined by them—defined by my career, the clothes I wore, where I was from, how much money I had, and what kind of car I drove. But none of this was really me, so why was I letting it define me?

We live in a world where we are surrounded by ideals. The media presents us with better versions of just about everything, creating a mindset that we should be striving for more. There’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re not enough.

We need to be richer, slimmer, fitter, happier, nicer, different in some way. The point is, we are all different and there is no right or wrong.

To find true happiness we must be true to ourselves, live our own dreams, and be proud of what makes us unique instead of feeling the pressure to follow the crowd.

It’s easier said than done, I know. It helped me to ask myself: What makes life worth living? How would you like to be remembered? What do you admire about others?

It may also help to reflect on what you wanted to do when you were a kid. Often this holds the key to what we held dear before we were influenced by what other people think.

Take a moment to consider what your strengths are and be clear on your core values . It also helps to seek out like-minded people. Not only do we feel at ease with them, they also help us grow and flourish in accordance with our true selves.

Remember, everyone has their own version of ‘normal,’ and none of us are right or wrong. We should not expect ourselves to all be alike, but rather respect our differences and value our skills despite them being different.

When we are comfortable in our own skin, we are not fighting against or with anyone, as we’ve discovered our own true nature and are living in accordance with it. We are courageous enough to live our own truth.

Unfortunately, there will always be someone more beautiful, clever, talented, or stronger than you, but the reverse is also true. There will always be people less than you in all of these areas.

So instead of comparing yourself to others , look to see if you’re fulfilling your own potential to the best of your ability. As a nation we seem obsessed with comparing ourselves, but rather than thinking about what you should be like, try just being you. Simply be—as you are.

You don’t see a sparrow comparing itself with a pigeon, and although we put different prices on timber, none of the trees feel inferior or superior.

In nature everything is needed and it all has its place. It all fits together and is equal. Whether you’re a blade of grass or a mighty oak tree. it doesn’t matter; you are needed and you have your place in the world.

The ancient meaning of the word courage is “tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”

It is all about being true to yourself .

Let go of who you think you should be and be who you are. Everyone is coming out of their own closet, emerging to be the person they really are, their true self, and worried about what others may think and if they’ll be accepted.

That’s why it’s so important to connect with authenticity and compassion, but you can’t be compassionate to others without being compassionate to yourself first. Don’t change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love you.

Stand out from the crowd image via Shutterstock

About Jess Stuart

After a successful career in the corporate HR world Jess decided to follow her passion in Health and Wellness as a coach, speaker, and author . A qualified yoga instructor who has trained in Buddhist meditation and mindfulness, living and working in many countries Jess draws her life experience into her work to share the principles of health and happiness.

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To Live Your Truth, Start by Being Honest with Yourself

Being true to yourself is very important. You can be honest with the world, but as long as you are not honest with yourself, you are not being fair. Give the most importance to what you think of yourself rather than what others think of you. You can justify to the world why you did what you did, but as long you are not honest with yourself, it can be difficult to find peace.

For example, an individual might treat someone unfairly to gain something that was not rightfully theirs in order to be looked well upon by others. But deep down, the person may know what they did was wrong.

If we can’t gather up the courage to be honest with ourselves, we may continue to exhibit the same behaviors. Self-honesty is a trait that holds immense importance.

What’s True Will Continue to Exist

Nothing in the world is constant. Everything changes. However, for something to exist forever, it has to be true and authentic. You are what your core is. No matter how much you coat it with colors to please the world, you will always be what you are at the core. Your core is your truth.

No matter how much you coat it with colors to please the world, you will always be what you are at the core. Your core is your truth.

You can pretend to be things people expect you to be, but when you are honest with yourself, you will be proud of who you are. You will portray your core without being afraid of what people think of you.

This is because, at the end of the day, you can hide your truth from the world but not from yourself. Being true to yourself is important if you wish to be proud of who you are.

You Become More Fearless

When you are honest with yourself, you accept your weaknesses and flaws. You may know what some of those are. You may know what you are capable of and what you aren’t capable of. With enough self-knowledge, people’s judgments about you can become less important.

You may become more fearless, because when you know your capabilities, the world and the opinions of others can’t put you down. If someone tells you that you can’t do something which you know you can do, your morale will likely stay unaffected, enabling you to continue towards your goals fearlessly.

You Gain More Clarity

You will have better clarity about the things you want in life when you are completely honest with yourself. Your real identity is something only you know, and it is most often up to you to decide what your life goals are. People may dictate your priorities for you, but you can be honest about your needs, your wishes, and your priorities with yourself, at least. With more clarity, you may be able to put in more effort and dedication to achieve what you wish for.

Relationships Become Healthier

Honesty is the foundation of any relationship . No relationship can survive without honesty. If you fail to be honest with yourself, how can you ever be honest with anyone else? If you hide the truth from yourself, how can you expect to share it with anyone else? It’s nearly impossible to be honest with anyone as long as you aren’t honest with yourself.

To have a long-lasting and a healthy relationship, you must ensure that you are offering the other person the ‘true you.’ Relationships thrive when their foundations are based on two people who are honest with themselves and each other.

Life Becomes Beautiful

We strive for a positive public opinion because we have started to believe that we are what people think we are. We try to hide our reality from the world because we think it might disqualify us from the ‘in-crowd.’ When you are honest with yourself, you start owning your reality, and you stop hiding behind the public opinion. The life you were previously trying to hide from everyone starts feeling beautiful.

Being honest with yourself can make life easier, less complicated, and a lot more beautiful. You become less dependent on others and more dependent on yourself. You start loving yourself with all your flaws, and that’s the turning point toward contentment and inner peace.

Some people experience strong feelings of self-rejection that make it difficult to pursue or appreciate their true self. If you’re having a hard time practicing self-honesty, it can help to speak with a licensed and compassionate therapist .

© Copyright 2019 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Thank You very much Jacqueline, I have been battling to be honest with myself and that has led me in deep trouble. I’m in a process to get married and I don’t even want to get married at all. I’m in deep pain and fear not to hurt my partner but I’m hurting to the core. Please help.

I was once a little boy. I never had the opportunity of communicating with the other children. I always changed how I was for other people to like me, but I never liked who I was. Once I started being true to myself, I started to love my life a lot more. Truly, my gratitude goes to you, Jaqueline.

yes, my dog ran away years ago and….. i still have the trauma. I hear his barks at night but… no… its not fluffy. I have my new dog marcus, he isn’t fluffy.. but he will do.

I was never true to myself I always pretended to be Ironman or Joe Rogan. after reading about this I finally was true to myself and finly did something with my life. I found the cure for cancer I saved my dog from being married to someone he didn’t want to be with thanks you change my life. my wife still doesn’t love me tho.🔥.🔥.🔥.🔥.🔥.🔥

i am realy intetestted with this text. when i read this text i am tried to investigate my self. and find my self and diceded to be honest with myself. becouse being honest with myself is the fouyndation of every thing.

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Notice to users

How to Be True to Yourself (21 Ways + Expert Insights)

Being true to yourself sounds simple, but it’s often harder than it seems. Every day, we face choices. Some are big, like choosing a career, and some are small, like deciding what to wear. Yet, each decision tells a bit about who we are.

How do you stay true to who you are in a world full of so many different voices and opinions?

To live a life that genuinely reflects your values and desires, you must know yourself and have the courage to follow that knowledge wherever it may lead. This means listening to your heart and being honest with yourself. It’s knowing your likes and dislikes and understanding your deep motivations.

Table of Contents

Identify Your Core Values

Celebrate your unique traits, listen to your inner voice, respect your feelings, appreciate the person in the mirror, stop comparing yourself to others, speak your truth, do what is best for you, check in with yourself, make time for reflection, be comfortable with spending time alone, be intentional with your time, pursue what you love, prioritize self-care, observe yourself both alone and in the company of friends, never settle for less than you really want, learn how to say ‘no’, quit being a people pleaser, set boundaries with others, stay away from negative influence, learn to walk away from things that no longer serve you, frequently asked questions, final thoughts.

Your core values are like your personal rulebook. They shape your decisions and actions, basically shaping your life based on what matters most to you. 

First, take a minute to think about the things that get you excited or tick you off. Those big feelings are clues to what matters most in your life. It might be things like being honest, caring for others, being creative, or keeping things stable.

Once you know your core values, it’s now time to incorporate them into your daily life. If creativity is your jam, try swapping some TV time for drawing, writing, or another hobby. Your heart will feel full when your actions match your values.

But remember, values aren’t set in stone. As you grow and change (and trust me, you will), your values might do a little dance and shift, too. And that’s totally fine! It’s part of the adventure called “being human.”

Keep checking in with yourself, stay flexible, and adjust your course when needed. Your values are your roots, but they can also grow and branch out in new directions.

We’ve all got something that makes us one-of-a-kind. Maybe you’re the friend who can always find a reason to laugh, or perhaps you have a weird knack for remembering every single ’90s hit song.

Think about the qualities that have always been part of you, even those that others might not have fully appreciated. These things add spice to who you are—it’s time to own them!

When you rock your quirks, you’re telling the world, “This is me, take it or leave it.” And honestly, the world will often smile back and say, “I’ll take it!” Don’t be afraid to be yourself; it’s the best outfit you’ve got.

There’s a little buddy inside your head that’s got some pretty solid advice. It’s your inner voice, and it’s worth a listen when you’re figuring out how to be your true self.

Life gets loud and busy, and that can drown out the quiet wisdom you hold inside. So, take a break now and then. A few deep breaths, a moment to just sit and be still—that’s when your inner voice can finally get a word in.

This inner voice might suggest turning down that job offer that doesn’t excite you or taking a leap into something you’ve always wanted to do. The more you listen, the easier it gets to understand its guidance.

Using your inner voice can help you avoid choices that don’t really suit you and feel more sure about those that do. It’s pretty cool how it points you right where you need to be.

Your feelings are a big part of who you are, so it’s important to listen to them. When something doesn’t feel right, or when you’re really happy about something, take it as a cue. These feelings are your gut’s way of talking to you.

Sometimes, you might feel pressured to push aside your real feelings to keep peace or because you worry about what others might think. Try to avoid this.

Respecting your feelings means acknowledging them as valid, even if you choose not to act on them right away. This can help you understand yourself better and make decisions that truly reflect your needs and desires.

Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. There’s no need to judge yourself harshly. When you respect your own feelings, you’re more likely to make choices that align with your true self.

When was the last time you stopped, took a good look in the mirror, and genuinely smiled at the person staring back? That person, with all their perfect imperfections, is you—and they deserve some serious kudos.

It’s easy to be your own worst critic, to see only what you wish to change. But being true to yourself starts with appreciating who you see in the mirror. It could be your smile, the way you handled a difficult situation, or just your ability to get out of bed when the alarm rings.

Give yourself the credit you deserve.

It’s really easy to look at someone else’s life and feel like they’ve got it all sorted out. But here’s the thing—each of us has different paths, different challenges, and different victories.

If you’re always measuring your life against someone else’s, you’re playing a losing game.

Instead, focus on your own progress. Remember how far you’ve come and all the hurdles you’ve crossed. Your journey is unique, with its own set of twists and turns, and that’s what makes it exciting. Celebrate your own wins, no matter how small they might seem.

Lastly, whenever you catch yourself falling into the comparison trap, remind yourself that the only person you need to be better than is who you were yesterday. By doing this, you give yourself the freedom to follow your own path at your own pace.

Telling people what you really think can sometimes be tough—but it’s important. You’ve got your own thoughts and opinions, and they’re worth hearing.

Start by being clear about what you believe in. If you’re passionate about something, share it. When you’re honest about your thoughts and feelings, you show the real you to the world.

If you’re not used to being upfront, begin with small, low-risk situations. For example, instead of nodding along to a plan you don’t like, suggest an alternative. This practice builds your confidence in expressing more significant feelings and thoughts in more critical scenarios.

No need to be pushy or rude. Just be honest and kind at the same time. If you disagree with someone, you can still be respectful. It’s not about convincing everyone to think like you. It’s about not being afraid to be yourself.

Doing what’s best for you might sound simple, but it often requires really knowing yourself and sometimes making tough choices. This means thinking about what really matters to you: your health, your goals, and your happiness.

Here’s how you can start:

• Think about decisions in terms of your well-being.
• Trust that you know what’s best for you.
• Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself.

When you start doing what’s best for you, it’s like you’re steering your life in the direction you want to go. Sure, not everyone will understand your choices, but that’s okay. You’ve got this!

Checking in with yourself is like giving your mind and heart a moment to breathe and regroup. It can help you stay centered and make choices that are true to you.

Here’s how you can do it:

• Set aside some quiet time:  Even if it’s just five minutes a day, find a quiet spot to be alone with your thoughts.
• Ask yourself key questions:  How am I feeling today? What’s making me happy or unhappy? Do I need something I’m not getting right now?
• Write it down:  Keeping a journal can help you track your thoughts and feelings over time, which is useful for reflecting on your personal growth.

Related: How to Check In With Yourself (25 Effective Ways + Expert Insights)

This daily self-check is a simple but powerful way to stay on top of things. It’s also a time when you might realize you need a break, some fun, or maybe just a good night’s sleep. By checking in with yourself, you’re looking after your well-being and making sure you’re staying true to what you need and want in life.

Every now and then, it’s a good idea to hit pause and think about where you’re at in life. It’s like checking your map to make sure you’re still on the path you want to be on. Make it a part of your routine.

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Start by setting aside at least 10 minutes each day. Choose a time that suits you best, maybe in the evening when things have quieted down, and keep it consistent. Treat this as your mini-appointment with yourself.

In your reflection time, focus on three specific areas:

• Actions:  What did you do today? Maybe you helped a friend in need or tackled a tough project at work.
• Reactions:  How did you respond to challenges? Were you patient in the long line at the store, or did you let frustration get the best of you?
• Intentions:  Did you live today the way you wanted to? Perhaps you intended to eat healthy but ended up having fast food for lunch.

This simple exercise does wonders for keeping you in line with your core values and goals. It’s not about beating yourself up for the things that didn’t go well. Instead, the aim is to recognize what you can learn from each day. 

It’s good for everyone to learn how to be alone and actually enjoy it. When you’re by yourself, you get the space to think clearly and be with your thoughts without anyone else influencing you. 

Being comfortable alone means doing things by yourself that you might usually do with others. Go to a movie, visit a museum, or dine at a restaurant solo. It might feel a bit strange at first, but many people find these solo adventures refreshing and empowering. It’s a way of telling yourself that you can have fun on your own.

This alone time can be a powerful way to reconnect with what you love and desire without outside opinions weighing in. It helps you develop a stronger sense of independence and confidence in your choices—key components of living true to yourself.

To live a life true to yourself, it’s important to use your time wisely. That means making choices about how you spend each day, ensuring that what you do aligns with your personal values and aspirations. Here’s a straightforward approach:

• Prioritize tasks:  Start by identifying what’s most important for your personal and professional goals. Anything that doesn’t support these might not deserve your time right now.
• Set limits:  Decide how much time you will dedicate to each activity. This will prevent overcommitting and help maintain balance.
• Say no:  Part of being intentional is being okay with saying no to things that don’t fit your priorities. It’s tough, but it frees you up to say yes to what really matters.

Being intentional doesn’t mean filling every moment with activity. Sometimes, being intentional means recognizing when you need a break. This not only prevents burnout but also keeps you mentally sharp and aligned with your journey towards staying true to yourself.

When you’re chasing after the things you love, life just feels more colorful, doesn’t it? Maybe you love painting, hiking, or coding—whatever it is, make time for it. Even busy schedules can usually spare a few hours a week for something that makes your heart sing.

One practical step is to set specific goals related to your passion. For example, if you love writing, you might aim to write a page a day or submit a story to a magazine once a month. These small steps keep you connected to what you love and can significantly enhance your sense of self.

Pursuing your passions is like giving yourself a gift. It reminds you of what makes you tick outside of your roles and responsibilities. Plus, it’s a great way to meet like-minded people who share your enthusiasm.

Look after yourself the way you’d look after a dear friend. Self-care ensures you operate at your best, both mentally and physically. It’s more than just spa days or treating yourself; it’s about making regular, healthy choices that support your well-being.

Here’s how to weave self-care into the fabric of your daily life:

• Get enough Z’s – sleep is a game-changer.
• Find time to move – dance, jog, or just stretch. Your body will thank you.
• Don’t skip meals – your brain needs fuel to conquer the day.

Remember, when you’re well-cared for, you’re better at just about everything else. You show up as a stronger, happier version of yourself.

Watching how you behave alone and around others can tell you a lot about what you value and feel. When you’re alone, notice what activities you choose without outside influence. Do you reach for a book, sketch, or maybe play music? These choices reflect your natural interests.

When you’re with friends, pay attention to how you might change. Do you hold back opinions or go along with group decisions even when you disagree? This can help you identify areas where you might not be completely true to yourself or times when peer pressure influences you.

The goal here isn’t to judge yourself but to become more aware. Awareness is the first step toward making choices that align more closely with your personal values and desires.

It can be easy to accept less than what you want, especially if it seems like it’s alright for the time being. However, settling can lead to dissatisfaction and regret down the road. To live a life true to yourself, it’s important to aim for what genuinely makes you happy and fulfilled.

First, take some time to figure out what you really want in different areas of your life , such as your career, personal relationships, or hobbies. What does the ideal situation look like for you? Write these thoughts down to make them clearer and to have something to refer back to.

Once you know what you want, make a plan to get there . This might include setting specific goals, learning new skills, or changing your environment. The key is to take consistent actions that move you toward your ideal outcomes.

Sticking to your desires might mean making difficult choices sometimes, like leaving a comfortable job or ending a stable relationship that doesn’t fulfill you. Remember, every step toward what you truly want is a step toward a more authentic life. Don’t be afraid to take those steps.

Saying ‘no’ can be a tricky dance, especially when you don’t want to let someone down. But it’s your time and your life, so you get to call the shots. When you say ‘yes’ to stuff you don’t really want to do, you’re actually saying ‘no’ to things that might be more important to you.

Here’s how to get better at it:

• Think before you respond. You don’t have to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ right away.
• Be clear but kind in your refusal. No need for elaborate excuses.
• Remember, every ‘no’ is making room for a ‘yes’ to something that matters more to you.

The more you practice, the easier it’ll get, and soon, you’ll notice you have more time for the things you truly want to do. Plus, people will start to respect your time more when they see that you do, too.

Quitting the habit of pleasing everyone is a huge step toward being more authentic. Recognize that it’s impossible to satisfy everyone without losing bits of yourself along the way.

If you’re always bending over backward to make everyone else happy, you might forget what it’s like to stand up straight for yourself. So, take a moment and think—are you saying ‘yes’ to things because you really want to or just because you want to avoid rocking the boat?

Start small by checking in with yourself before you automatically agree to something. If your gut says, “Eh, I’m not really feeling this,” listen to it! It’s okay to put your own preferences front and center sometimes. Plus, your honesty might be just what’s needed, and people will get to know the real you.

When you do that, you’ll feel a weight lift off your shoulders, and hey, you might even have more fun because you’re doing things that genuinely make you smile.

Clear boundaries tell others how you expect to be treated and what’s acceptable behavior. It’s about loving yourself enough to say, “Hey, this is where I draw the line.”

Here’s how to start:

• Be clear about your limits:  Know what you are comfortable with and communicate that to others. For instance, if you don’t like being contacted about work during weekends, let your colleagues know.
• Communicate openly and kindly:  When setting boundaries, be honest but kind. A simple statement like “I value our time together, but I need some time for myself on weekends to recharge” helps set expectations without offense.
• Stick to your boundaries:  It’s one thing to set boundaries; it’s another to enforce them. Don’t hesitate to remind people when they’re crossing the line. Consistency here is key to making others respect your limits.

Setting boundaries is about planting a nice little fence to keep the good stuff in and the stress out. People worth having around will respect your fences and probably appreciate you for setting them.

Let’s face it: Some folks can be real downers. You know who they are—the ones who always see the glass half empty or are quick to shoot down your ideas. Hanging out with them can be draining, and it’s tough to be true to yourself if you’re always caught in a storm cloud of negativity.

So, give yourself permission to step back. You don’t have to cut people out of your life completely, but you can choose how much influence they have over you. Spend more time with folks who uplift you and less with those who drag you down.

Life’s too short to stick with things that don’t make you happy or help you grow. Maybe it’s a job that’s going nowhere or a hobby that you don’t enjoy like you used to.

To start, think about what brings you down or eats up your time without giving much back. If something is more draining than rewarding, it’s a sign it might be time to let go. Maybe start by cutting down on these activities instead of quitting cold turkey.

Deciding to leave something behind can be difficult, especially if it’s been a part of your life for a long time. However, remember that it’s perfectly okay to put your own well-being first. Stepping away from things that no longer benefit you is about making space for better things that resonate more with who you are now.

Why do I struggle to be my true self?

Struggling to be your true self can happen for many reasons. Maybe you’re worried about what others will think, or you’ve gotten into the habit of putting other people’s needs before your own. It could also be that you’re not quite sure who your true self is yet, which is totally normal. It takes time and a bit of soul-searching to figure it out. The important thing is to keep trying and to start small with choices and actions that feel right to you.

How do I know if I’m being true to myself?

When you’re aligned with your true self, you’ll feel content and at peace, even if life isn’t perfect. If you’re doing things that resonate with your values, and you don’t feel the need to pretend or hide aspects of yourself, those are good signs you’re on track.

What if being true to myself upsets people I care about?

It’s natural to worry about this, but remember that being genuine is key to healthy relationships. It’s better for people to know and love the real you. Often, you’ll find that the people who really care about you will support you for who you are.

Can I be true to myself and still change for the better?

Absolutely. Being true to yourself doesn’t mean you can’t grow or improve. It means that your changes and growth are in line with your inner values and desires, not imposed by outer influences.

How do I deal with the fear of being judged for being myself?

Understand that everyone gets judged, no matter what. The key is not to let the fear of judgment stop you from being your authentic self. Most people are too busy with their own lives to focus on your choices. And those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Staying true to yourself is a daily commitment. Each day offers new challenges and choices that test our honesty and courage. The path isn’t always easy, but embracing who you truly are is worth every step. Remember, every time you choose authenticity, you make yourself a priority.

As we wrap up, think about the small steps you can take daily to be more genuine in your actions and choices. Listen to your heart, trust your intuition, and stand firm in being who you are. The more you practice this, the more natural it becomes.

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Clariza Carizal, RPm

Clariza is a passionate writer and editor who firmly believes that words have great power. She has a degree in BS Psychology, which gives her an in-depth understanding of the complexities of human behavior. As a woman of science and art, she fused her love for both fields in crafting insightful articles on lifestyle, mental health, and social justice to inspire others and advocate for change.

In her leisure time, you can find her sitting in the corner of her favorite coffee shop downtown, deeply immersed in her bubble of thoughts. Being an art enthusiast that she is, she finds bliss in exploring the rich world of fiction writing and diverse art forms.

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Essay on Being True To Yourself

Students are often asked to write an essay on Being True To Yourself in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Being True To Yourself

Introduction.

Being true to yourself means being honest with your feelings, thoughts, and actions. It means not pretending to be someone else just to fit in or make others happy. It’s about knowing who you are and being proud of it.

Importance of Being True

Being true to yourself is important because it leads to happiness and success. When you are honest with yourself, you can make decisions that are right for you. This helps you to live a life that you love and are proud of.

Challenges in Being True

Sometimes, being true to yourself can be hard. You may feel pressure from others to act a certain way or to hide your true feelings. But remember, it’s your life and you should live it in a way that makes you happy.

In conclusion, being true to yourself is key to living a happy and successful life. It may be hard at times, but the rewards are worth it. So always be honest with yourself and live a life that you are proud of.

250 Words Essay on Being True To Yourself

Understanding yourself.

Firstly, you need to know yourself. This means understanding your likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. It’s about knowing what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and what makes you feel alive. This is a journey that takes time and patience.

Staying True To Your Values

Once you understand yourself, you can stay true to your values. These are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They should determine your priorities and, deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

Being Honest

Honesty is another important part of being true to yourself. This means being open and truthful in all your dealings and communications with others. It’s not always easy, but it’s the only way to build trust and respect.

In conclusion, being true to yourself is about understanding who you are, sticking to your values, and being honest. It’s a journey that requires time, patience, and courage. But in the end, it leads to a life of authenticity, fulfillment, and happiness.

500 Words Essay on Being True To Yourself

Understanding the concept.

Being true to yourself means to act in harmony with who you are. It’s about being honest, genuine, and real. It is not about pretending to be someone else or trying to fit into a mold made by others. Instead, it is about accepting who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, and expressing your true self in every situation.

The Importance of Being True to Yourself

Secondly, being true to yourself leads to happiness. When you are genuine, you do not have to stress about pretending or living up to others’ expectations. This can lead to a more relaxed and happier life.

Thirdly, it encourages respect from others. When you respect yourself and your values, others will likely respect you too. It’s hard to respect someone who is always changing their views or actions based on what others might think.

Challenges in Being True to Yourself

Another challenge is fear of judgement or rejection. We might worry that if we show our true selves, others might not like or accept us. This fear can make it hard to be genuine and authentic.

Ways to Be True to Yourself

Despite these challenges, there are ways to stay true to ourselves. One way is to know and understand ourselves. This means recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, values, and passions. It also means accepting ourselves as we are, without trying to be someone we’re not.

Lastly, we can practice self-love and self-care. This means taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional health. It also means treating ourselves with kindness and compassion, just as we would treat a friend.

In conclusion, being true to yourself is about being honest, genuine, and real. It’s about accepting and expressing your true self in every situation. While it can be challenging, it is also rewarding and important for our self-confidence, happiness, and respect from others. By knowing and understanding ourselves, standing up for what we believe in, and practicing self-love and self-care, we can stay true to ourselves.

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How to Build Your Confidence So You Can Have the Life You Deserve

If you somehow came out of your teenage years as a fully self-assured adult who always holds your head high, you’re lucky. Even for those of us who were fortunate enough to have great role models, a bunch of uncontrollable factors—including trauma, bullying, and societal expectations—can make it really hard to feel self-assured .

The good news, though, is that “being confident is a learned skill,” Geoffrey Gold, PhD , a clinical psychologist at Therapists of New York, tells SELF. And an important one at that: Believing in yourself won’t necessarily make you an expert at everything or get you whatever you want in life, but it will encourage you to take more risks and seize opportunities (by applying for a great job, perhaps—or leaving a toxic one). Not to mention, you’ll be a lot happier and have healthier relationships when you trust and accept yourself, Dr. Gold adds.

Of course, we can’t just magically convince you that you’re smart enough, attractive enough, good enough if you’ve spent years struggling with self-doubt. So don’t just take it from us: We asked therapists to share a handful of effective ways to start trusting in your capabilities and judgment—and having your own back.

1. Don’t be afraid to mess up.

Confidence isn’t about being faultless and perfect. Instead, it’s more about believing in your ability to grow, adapt, and improve, Adia Gooden, PhD , a clinical psychologist based in Chicago and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast, tells SELF.

So rather than pressuring yourself to never mess up (which will only make you more anxious and insecure), a more productive approach is to reframe mistakes as opportunities to evolve: Sure, it sucks that you blew that job interview, but now you know how to prep better for the next one! And fine, that Friday night date was a disaster, but maybe it clarified what you are (and aren’t) looking for in a partner. Ultimately, reaching a place of self-acceptance is about embracing your whole self, Dr. Gooden says—that includes your successes and your slip-ups.

2. Make a list of your weaknesses—and counter each one with a strength.

It’s human nature to fixate on the negatives, according to Dr. Gooden. That’s why it can help to highlight your best assets during a self-doubt spiral . You can start by creating a list of “weaknesses” preventing you from seeing your potential. Then, counter each one with something you’re good at—and how you can use that strength to your advantage.

Let’s say you’re feeling self-conscious about attending a wedding where you only know the bride. A “weakness” in this scenario may look like, “I get really anxious meeting new people ,” or “I’m so bad at small talk.” To balance these challenges, consider your positive traits such as, “I’ve been told I’m pretty funny, so maybe I can break the ice with a few jokes.” Or, “I love dancing, which could be a fun way to enjoy the event.” This exercise, Dr. Gold says, is a great way to stop zeroing in on negative self-talk and start seeing yourself more holistically.

3. Stand up to your inner critic with kindness.

Speaking of mean voices in your head…another way to fight back against disparaging thoughts is to reframe them, Dr. Gold says.

“If your inner critic is overstaying its welcome, tap into some self-compassion,” he suggests—thankfully, we have an entire article dedicated to this very topic. Learning to be kind to yourself takes a lot of time and practice, though, so one trick to try in the moment is to write down what your internal bully is saying. This could look like, “My date ghosted me, so I’m never going to find love!” Or, “I look nothing like that Instagram influencer—I must be hideous.”

In your head, these all-consuming worries may seem really legit and factually correct. But when you see them written out, on paper or in your notes app, it’s easier for your brain to recognize that your inner narrative is actually kind of dramatic and unproductive. Let’s consider the above example: Isn’t it silly to assume you’ll never meet someone just because of one bad interaction?

4. Do something you know you’re good at.

Whenever you need a quick reminder that you’re talented, lovable, and awesome, lean into the things you’re great at, Dr. Gooden says—or those that come easily to you. If you know you make killer banana chocolate chip muffins, say, whip up a batch for an instant mood boost. Or if you’ve been told you’re a gifted writer, tap into those skills by crafting a short story or personal essay the next time you feel inadequate. “You can also do hobbies that you simply authentically enjoy,” Dr. Gold adds, whether or not you’re amazing at them. Even if you’re not a speedy track star, for instance, but you love a morning jog, lace up your favorite sneakers and hit the pavement.

It’s natural to second-guess yourself after trying something new, like attending a rigorous spin class as a beginner, say, or attempting to paint for the first time and the result is…blah. And while sucking at first can be worth it in the end—sorry, but you’ll probably be bad at a new hobby before getting good—engaging in familiar activities that provide a sense of accomplishment or joy can reassure you when you’re feeling insecure, Dr. Gooden says.

5. Watch your body language.

Little adjustments to the way you sit, stand, or talk can make you look more confident—and maybe trick you into believing that you truly are. Of course, this isn’t a long-term solution, “but sometimes the acting part can help to facilitate the feeling part, and convince others around you, and yourself, that you’ve got it together” Dr. Gold adds.

So as you’re working toward feeling more confident overall, try this: Let your arms hang naturally while you’re standing at that party, say, rather than crossing them (which may make you appear closed off). Don’t slouch in your seat during that important coffee chat: Sit up tall and place your hands together lightly in front of you. Dr. Gold also recommends speaking a little slower: That way, “what you’re saying sounds intentional and thoughtful,” she says. You'll instantly feel—and look—like you’re owning the moment.

6. Face your small fears first.

Maybe you’ve always dreamed of starting a YouTube channel or beauty blog—but you’re worried that no one will click. Perhaps you’re hesitating to approach a cutie at the bar because, well, what if they laugh in your face???

Instead of letting your insecurities control your life, both experts say it’s important to confront them head-on—but gradually. “Facing lower-stakes fears and overcoming them can be a powerful way to improve your self-esteem and inspire you to believe in yourself,” Dr. Gooden says. This might mean recording a short video—or writing a quick post—and sharing it with your close friends only. Or shooting your shot by DMing a Hinge match before making a move with a hot stranger IRL .

It can also help to recall all the times you started as a beginner and gradually improved, Dr. Gold suggests. For example, remember when you were a total novice runner and now you’re logging double-digit miles every week? And don’t forget how nervous you were to apply to that job you “weren’t qualified for”—and then you made it to a second-round interview!

Each time you achieve (or reflect) on a small win, you’re building a track record that proves (to yourself) that you are indeed capable and resilient—even on those days when you really, truly doubt it.

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SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

Staying True to Yourself

“Tell me about yourself. What are your goals? Proud accomplishments?” 

Whenever I’ve answered these questions, I always feel the need to impress others and create a high reputation for myself. I’ve wanted to show others that I’m worthy enough for them to accept me, so they think of me as a capable and accomplished person. I hear these questions, and instantly, my palms start to sweat and my heart starts thumping as I think to myself “What if my accomplishments aren’t strong enough? What if my goals are trivial?” It’s in our human nature to seek validation from others because our subconscious priority is to feel accepted by society, which is why many of us may fear the same: not being good enough. 

All of us have created a character. Some of us have created one that accurately represents ourselves, while others have created a mask in front of society.  Inevitably, our character will keep changing as time progresses depending on our experiences, interactions and feelings. Although, we need to ask ourselves: are we changing because our true identity is growing or are we changing because we feel the need to change in order to feel accepted? Based on your perspectives, interests and passions, you should make decisions without bias judgement. There’s a fine line between being your best self because of the urge to fit within society or discovering your true self because that’s your genuine identity. Forcing yourself in the mold that society has created for you is not an act of wisdom, but through life experiences of finding your talent and acting on your passions, you will find the wisdom to continue your path of life in the right direction.

Granted, it’s much easier said than done. We can’t just forget about society’s “rules'', but we should analyze and reflect on our valuable experiences to shape our own characters. Staying true to ourselves is perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves because we should live for ourselves, not society. So, if you ever think this: “What if my accomplishments aren’t strong enough? What if my goals are trivial?” 

Here are my answers: 

• There is no threshold that categorizes accomplishments as “strong” or “weak”. Whether you built a space shuttle for NASA or woke up before 9 AM (yes, it can be hard :)) there will always be a “next step.” So if you don’t take the time to recognize and take pride in both your personal and professional goals, you will always feel dissatisfied. While you may believe that your dissatisfaction motivates you, it could backfire, leading to anxiety rather than happiness. 
• Your goals will never be trivial as long as you genuinely look forward to reaching them. Don’t define your goals based on what you think society would appreciate, but what you want to spend your time doing. From climbing Mt. Everest to even remembering to mow the lawn, the word “goal” is very subjective and the only definition that matters is your own. 

So, next time you answer the questions at the top of this article, don’t be afraid to be yourself and don’t think about what others may think of you. Answer the questions honestly and take pride in your accomplishments and goals. For a moment, forget about others - parents, friends, co-workers - and list out your personal and professional accomplishments (no matter how big or small). Everything counts as long as you do it with your heart and you will continue to stay true to yourself, creating a character that reflects you and not the mold society creates for you.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Me Myself and I — Importance to Be True to Myself

Importance to Be True to Myself

• Categories: Being Yourself Me Myself and I The Real Me

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Words: 1207 |

Published: May 24, 2022

Words: 1207 | Pages: 3 | 7 min read

Table of contents

Adopting a strategy, true to yourself, personal experience, references:.

• Asplund, M., & Welle, C. (2018). Advancing science: How bias holds us back. Neuron, 99(4), 635–639.
• Daft, R. L. (2018). The Leadership Experience (7th ed.), Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
• Stevens, F., Plaut, V., & Sanchez-Burks, J. (2008). Unlocking the benefits of diversity. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 44(1), 116–133.

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How can you tell if something is true? Here are 3 questions to ask yourself about what you see, hear and read

Teaching Associate Professor of Media, West Virginia University

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Bob Britten does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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Curious Kids is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, send it to [email protected] .

How can I tell if what I am hearing is true? – Adam, age 10, Maui, Hawaii

Have you ever heard a story so exciting you wanted to share it right away? Something like a shark swimming up a flooded highway?

An image that seems to show just that was shared by many people after Hurricane Ian struck Florida in 2022. It was also widely shared after Hurricane Harvey hit Houston, Texas, in 2017. It’s a fake – a flooded highway image combined with one of a great white shark. The fact-checking website Snopes found it circulating as far back as 2011 after Hurricane Irene slammed Puerto Rico.

Truth can be tricky to determine. Every message you read, see or hear comes from somewhere and was created by someone and for someone.

I teach media literacy , which is a way to think about information you get in the messages you receive via media . You might think media means the news, but it also includes TikTok posts, television, books, advertisements and more.

When deciding whether to trust a piece of information, it’s good to start with three main questions – who said it, what evidence did they give and how much do you want to believe it? The last one might seem a little strange, but you’ll see why it’s important by the end.

Who said it?

Let’s say you’re really excited about a game that’s coming out later this year. You want to be the first to learn about the new creatures, characters and game modes. So when a YouTube video pops up saying, “GAME COMING TWO WEEKS EARLY,” you can’t wait to watch. But when you click, it’s just a guy making predictions. Do you trust him?

A source is where information comes from. You get information from sources every day – from teachers, parents and friends to people you’ve never met on news sites, fan channels and social media. You probably have sources you trust and ones you don’t. But why?

Would you trust your history teacher to tell you something about history? Probably, because they have a college degree that says they know their stuff. But what if your history teacher told you a fact about science your science teacher said was untrue? You’d probably be better off going with the science teacher for your science facts. Just because a source is trustworthy in one subject doesn’t mean they’re trustworthy in every subject.

Let’s go back to the YouTuber. If you’ve watched him for a while and he’s reliably correct, that’s a good start. At the same time, make sure you don’t confuse his having an opinion with actually having knowledge . Just because you like a source doesn’t make it trustworthy.

This is true for websites, too. When a site grabs your attention, take a second to check the source at the top. Some fake sites use names that sound trustworthy – like “Boston Tribune” instead of “Boston Globe” or “www.cbs.com.co” instead of “www.cbs.com.” You can click the “About” page to see where they’re really coming from, use lists of known fake sites and other fact-checking resources to avoid getting played.

What’s the evidence?

Evidence is what you show when someone says “prove it!” It’s the details that support what a source is saying.

Primary sources – people or groups who are directly involved with the information – are best. If you want to learn about the release of a new game, the company’s official accounts or channels would be primary sources.

Secondary sources are one step removed – for example, news stories based on primary sources. They aren’t as strong as primary sources but are still useful. For example, most news on gaming site IGN is based on information from game company sources, so it’s a good secondary source.

Can a blogger or YouTuber be a secondary source? If their claims start by referencing primary sources like “Electronic Arts says,” that’s good. But if they start with “I think” or “There’s a lot of buzz,” be careful.

Do you want to believe it?

Emotions can get in the way of knowing what’s true. Messages that make you feel strong emotions – especially ones that are funny or make you angry – are the most important ones to check, but they’re also the hardest to ignore .

Advertisers know this. Many ads try to be funny or make the things they’re selling look cool because they want you to focus on how you feel rather than what you think. And being older doesn’t mean you’re automatically better at spotting false information: 41% of 18-to-34-year-olds and 44% of adults 65 and older admitted to having fallen for a fake news story in a 2018 study. Other research showed adults over 65 were seven times as likely to share articles from fake sites as younger people were.

So if you’ve been eagerly waiting for that new game, and somebody posts a video that says it’s coming out early, your wanting it to be true can make you ignore your common sense – leaving you open to being fooled.

The best question you can ask yourself when you’re thinking about a message is, “Do I want to believe this?” If the answer is yes, it’s a good sign you should slow down and check the source and evidence more closely.

Hello, curious kids! Do you have a question you’d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to [email protected] . Please tell us your name, age and the city where you live.

And since curiosity has no age limit – adults, let us know what you’re wondering, too. We won’t be able to answer every question, but we will do our best.

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Essay Papers Writing Online

Tips for crafting a compelling and authentic personal essay.

Writing an essay about yourself can be a daunting task, but when done right, it can be a powerful tool to showcase who you are and what makes you unique. Whether you’re applying for college, a scholarship, or a job, a well-crafted essay can help you stand out from the crowd and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

When writing a personal essay, it’s important to strike a balance between being informative and engaging. You want to provide the reader with insight into your background, experiences, and goals, while also keeping them interested and invested in your story. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the process of writing a compelling essay about yourself, from brainstorming ideas to polishing your final draft.

Essential Tips for Crafting

When crafting a compelling essay about yourself, it is important to think about your audience and what message you want to convey. Here are some essential tips to help you create an engaging and authentic essay:

A Powerful Personal Essay

Writing a powerful personal essay is a way to express your unique voice and share your personal experiences with the world. By weaving together your thoughts, emotions, and reflections, you can create a compelling narrative that resonates with your audience. To craft a powerful personal essay, start by reflecting on your own experiences and exploring the themes that matter to you. Pay attention to the details and emotions that make your story come alive. Be honest and vulnerable in your writing, as authenticity is key to connecting with your readers. Additionally, consider the structure of your essay and how you can effectively organize your thoughts to engage your audience from beginning to end. By following these tips and staying true to your voice, you can create a powerful personal essay that leaves a lasting impact on your readers.

Choose a Unique Aspect

When writing an essay about yourself, it’s important to focus on a unique aspect of your personality or experiences that sets you apart from others. This could be a specific skill, talent, or life experience that has had a significant impact on your life. By choosing a unique aspect to highlight, you can make your essay more compelling and memorable to the reader. It’s important to showcase what makes you different and showcase your individuality in a way that will capture the reader’s attention.

of Your Personality

When writing about your personality, it’s important to showcase your unique traits and qualities. Describe what sets you apart from others, whether it’s your creativity, resilience, sense of humor, or compassion. Use specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate these characteristics and provide insight into who you are as a person.

Highlight your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses – this shows self-awareness and honesty. Discuss how your personality has evolved over time and mention any experiences that have had a significant impact on shaping who you are today. Remember to be authentic and genuine in your portrayal of yourself as this will make your essay more compelling and engaging to the reader.

Reflect Deeply on

When writing an essay about yourself, it is crucial to take the time to reflect deeply on your life experiences, values, beliefs, and goals. Consider the events that have shaped you into the person you are today, both positive and negative. Think about your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and interests, and how they have influenced your decisions and actions. Reflecting on your personal journey will help you uncover meaningful insights that can make your essay more compelling and authentic.

Your Life Experiences

When it comes to writing an essay about yourself, one of the most compelling aspects to focus on is your life experiences. These experiences shape who you are and provide unique insights into your character. Reflect on significant moments, challenges you’ve overcome, or memorable events that have had a lasting impact on your life.

• Consider discussing pivotal moments that have influenced your beliefs and values.
• Share personal anecdotes that highlight your strengths and resilience.
• Explore how your life experiences have shaped your goals, aspirations, and ambitions.

By sharing your life experiences in your essay, you can showcase your individuality and demonstrate what sets you apart from others. Be genuine, reflective, and honest in recounting the events that have shaped your journey and contributed to the person you are today.

Create a Compelling

When crafting an essay about yourself, it is essential to create a compelling narrative that captures the attention of the reader from the very beginning. Start by brainstorming unique and engaging personal experiences or qualities that you want to highlight in your essay. Consider including vivid anecdotes, insightful reflections, and impactful moments that showcase your character and achievements. Remember to be authentic and sincere in your writing, as this will resonate with your audience and make your essay more relatable. By creating a compelling narrative, you can effectively communicate your story and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Narrative Structure

The narrative structure is crucial when writing an essay about yourself. It helps to create a compelling and engaging story that showcases your unique qualities and experiences. Start by introducing the main theme or message you want to convey in your essay. Then, build a coherent storyline that highlights significant events or moments in your life. Use descriptive language and vivid details to bring your story to life and make it more relatable to the readers. Include a clear beginning, middle, and end to ensure that your essay follows a logical progression and captivates the audience throughout.

Emphasize the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences and how they have shaped your character and outlook on life. Connect these insights to your personal growth and development, demonstrating your resilience, determination, and self-awareness. End your essay on a reflective note, highlighting the impact of your journey on who you are today and what you aspire to achieve in the future. By following a strong narrative structure, you can craft a captivating essay that showcases your authenticity and leaves a lasting impression on the readers.

Highlight Your

When writing an essay about yourself, it is essential to highlight your unique qualities and experiences that set you apart from others. Consider including personal anecdotes, achievements, strengths, and challenges that have shaped your identity. Focus on showcasing your authenticity and individuality to make your essay compelling and engaging.

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Hackers may have stolen the Social Security numbers of every American. Here’s how to protect yourself

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About four months after a notorious hacking group claimed to have stolen an extraordinary amount of sensitive personal information from a major data broker, a member of the group has reportedly released most of it for free on an online marketplace for stolen personal data.

The breach, which includes Social Security numbers and other sensitive data, could power a raft of identity theft, fraud and other crimes, said Teresa Murray, consumer watchdog director for the U.S. Public Information Research Group.

“If this in fact is pretty much the whole dossier on all of us, it certainly is much more concerning” than prior breaches, Murray said in an interview. “And if people weren’t taking precautions in the past, which they should have been doing, this should be a five-alarm wake-up call for them.”

According to a class-action lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., the hacking group USDoD claimed in April to have stolen personal records of 2.9 billion people from National Public Data, which offers personal information to employers, private investigators, staffing agencies and others doing background checks. The group offered in a forum for hackers to sell the data, which included records from the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom, for $3.5 million , a cybersecurity expert said in a post on X.

The lawsuit was reported by Bloomberg Law .

Last week, a purported member of USDoD identified only as Felice told the hacking forum that they were offering “ the full NPD database ,” according to a screenshot taken by BleepingComputer. The information consists of about 2.7 billion records, each of which includes a person’s full name, address, date of birth, Social Security number and phone number, along with alternate names and birth dates, Felice claimed.

Data of nearly all AT&T customers downloaded in security breach

Information on nearly all customers of the telecommunications giant AT&T was downloaded to a third-party platform in a 2022 security breach.

July 12, 2024

National Public Data didn’t respond to a request for comment, nor has it formally notified people about the alleged breach. It has, however, been telling people who contacted it via email that “we are aware of certain third-party claims about consumer data and are investigating these issues.”

In that email, the company also said that it had “purged the entire database, as a whole, of any and all entries, essentially opting everyone out.” As a result, it said, it has deleted any “non-public personal information” about people, although it added, “We may be required to retain certain records to comply with legal obligations.”

Several news outlets that focus on cybersecurity have looked at portions of the data Felice offered and said they appear to be real people’s actual information. If the leaked material is what it’s claimed to be, here are some of the risks posed and the steps you can take to protect yourself.

The threat of ID theft

The leak purports to provide much of the information that banks, insurance companies and service providers seek when creating accounts — and when granting a request to change the password on an existing account.

A few key pieces appeared to be missing from the hackers’ haul. One is email addresses, which many people use to log on to services. Another is driver’s license or passport photos, which some governmental agencies rely on to verify identities.

Still, Murray of PIRG said that bad actors could do “all kinds of things” with the leaked information, the most worrisome probably being to try to take over someone’s accounts — including those associated with their bank, investments, insurance policies and email. With your name, Social Security number, date of birth and mailing address, a fraudster could create fake accounts in your name or try to talk someone into resetting the password on one of your existing accounts.

“For somebody who’s really suave at it,” Murray said, “the possibilities are really endless.”

It’s also possible that criminals could use information from previous data breaches to add email addresses to the data from the reported National Public Data leak. Armed with all that, Murray said, “you can cause all kinds of chaos, commit all kinds of crimes, steal all kinds of money.”

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How to protect yourself

Data breaches have been so common over the years, some security experts say sensitive information about you is almost certainly available in the dark corners of the internet. And there are a lot of people capable of finding it; VPNRanks, a website that rates virtual private network services, estimates that 5 million people a day will access the dark web through the anonymizing TOR browser, although only a portion of them will be up to no good.

If you suspect that your Social Security number or other important identifying information about you has been leaked, experts say you should put a freeze on your credit files at the three major credit bureaus, Experian , Equifax and TransUnion . You can do so for free, and it will prevent criminals from taking out loans, signing up for credit cards and opening financial accounts under your name. The catch is that you’ll need to remember to lift the freeze temporarily if you are obtaining or applying for something that requires a credit check.

Technology and the Internet

Are you the victim of identity theft? Here’s what to do

If you’re a victim of identity thieves or a data hack, you need to act quickly. Here’s what to do to protect yourself.

Oct. 26, 2022

Placing a freeze can be done online or by phone, working with each credit bureau individually. PIRG cautions never to do so in response to an unsolicited email or text purporting to be from one of the credit agencies — such a message is probably the work of a scammer trying to dupe you into revealing sensitive personal information.

For more details, check out PIRG’s step-by-step guide to credit freezes .

You can also sign up for a service that monitors your accounts and the dark web to guard against identity theft, typically for a fee. If your data is exposed in a breach, the company whose network was breached will often provide one of these services for free for a year or more.

If you want to know whether you have something to worry about, multiple websites and service providers such as Google and Experian can scan the dark web for your information to see whether it’s out there. But those aren’t specific to the reported National Public Data breach. For that information, try a free tool from the cybersecurity company Pentester that offers to search for your information in the breached National Public Data files . Along with the search results, Pentester displays links to the sites where you can freeze your credit reports.

As important as these steps are to stop people from opening new accounts in your name, they aren’t much help protecting your existing accounts. Oddly enough, those accounts are especially vulnerable to identity thieves if you haven’t signed up for online access to them, Murray said — that’s because it’s easier for thieves to create a login and password while pretending to be you than it is for them to crack your existing login and password.

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Of course, having strong passwords that are different for every service and changed periodically helps. Password manager apps offer a simple way to create and keep track of passwords by storing them in the cloud, essentially requiring you to remember one master password instead of dozens of long and unpronounceable ones. These are available both for free (such as Apple’s iCloud Keychain) and for a fee .

Beyond that, experts say it’s extremely important to sign up for two-factor authentication. That adds another layer of security on top of your login and password. The second factor is usually something sent or linked to your phone, such as a text message; a more secure approach is to use an authenticator app, which will keep you secure even if your phone number is hijacked by scammers .

Yes, scammers can hijack your phone number through techniques called SIM swaps and port-out fraud , causing more identity-theft nightmares. To protect you on that front, AT&T allows you to create a passcode restricting access to your account; T-Mobile offers optional protection against your phone number being switched to a new device, and Verizon automatically blocks SIM swaps by shutting down both the new device and the existing one until the account holder weighs in with the existing device.

Your worst enemy may be you

As much or more than hacked data, scammers also rely on people to reveal sensitive information about themselves. One common tactic is to pose as your bank, employer, phone company or other service provider with whom you’ve done business and then try to hook you with a text or email message.

Banks, for example, routinely tell customers that they will not ask for their account information by phone. Nevertheless, scammers have coaxed victims into providing their account numbers, logins and passwords by posing as bank security officers trying to stop an unauthorized withdrawal or some other supposedly urgent threat.

People may even get an official-looking email purportedly from National Public Data, offering to help them deal with the reported leak, Murray said. “It’s not going to be NPD trying to help. It’s going to be some bad guy overseas” trying to con them out of sensitive information, she said.

It’s a good rule of thumb never to click on a link or call a phone number in an unsolicited text or email. If the message warns about fraud on your account and you don’t want to simply ignore it, look up the phone number for that company’s fraud department (it’s on the back of your debit and credit cards) and call for guidance.

“These bad guys, this is what they do for a living,” Murray said. They might send out tens of thousands of queries and get only one response, but that response could net them $10,000 from an unwitting victim. “Ten thousand dollars in one day for having one hit with one victim, that’s a pretty good return on investment,” she said. “That’s what motivates them.”

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Column: Why hugely profitable corporations won’t spend enough to keep hackers from stealing your private info

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‘My Descent Into the True Crime Rabbit Hole’: The Week 8 Winner of Our Summer Reading Contest

Hayne Kim, 16, writes about how an essay in the Times Opinion section made her rethink her binge-watch habits.

By The Learning Network

For 15 years, our Summer Reading Contest has been inviting teenagers around the world to tell us what New York Times pieces get their attention and why. This year, for the first time, students can submit either written comments or 90-second video responses.

In the eighth week of our 10-week challenge, we received 1,095 entries, and we list the finalists below. Scroll down to read the work of our winner, Hayne Kim , and to take a look at the variety of topics that caught these students’ eyes, including the Olympics, giant pandas, “brain rot,” JD Vance, flip phones, “Ballerina Farm,” Billy Joel and toxic beauty standards.

You can read the work of all of our winners since 2017 in this column , and you can participate in the contest any or every week this summer until Aug. 16. Just check the top of this page , where we post updates, to find the right place to submit your response.

Hayne Kim, 16, from Tokyo, reacts to a Guest Essay from the Opinion section, “ My Sister Was Murdered 30 Years Ago. True Crime Repackages Our Pain as Entertainment. ” She writes:

My descent into the true crime rabbit hole was thanks to YouTuber Stephanie Soo. On far too many lazy Sunday afternoons than I would like to admit, I sat slouched in front of my laptop with my eyes fixed on the flashy fluorescent screen, an unhealthily huge bowl of Takis at hand. Video after video, I clung on to Stephanie’s every last syllable as she fed me one tragic tale after another through spoonfuls of uncanny suspense. I continued to devour Stephanie’s stories just as quickly as I licked the MSG off my sticky red fingers. Until I read this article. At the ripe age of six, Annie Nichol lost her older sister Polly at the hands of a murderer. Subsequent to Polly’s murder, Annie was continually met with floods of faceless reporters, writers, producers — strangers — all with an unquenchable thirst for details and an eager desire to dramatize. This constant bombardment of the gates that protected her private, sacred memories of her sister caused Annie immense pain and post-traumatic stress. Suddenly, the hefty plates of Stephanie Soo videos I had wolfed down churned uneasily in my stomach. I realized just how desensitized I had become. A human being’s lived-in nightmare is not meant to be hastily packaged into a sixty-something-minute monetized video. The inability of myself and countless others to immediately recognize this serves as a testament to the unsettling effects of mass media consumption.

In alphabetical order by the writer’s first name.

Anagha Nagesh on What Trump Means When He Mispronounces ‘Kamala’

Desi Miller on “ 104 Shows. $260 Million. After 10 Years, Billy Joel Closes a Chapter. ”

Gabriel Lam on “ Giant Pandas Will Head to D.C.’s National Zoo From China ”

Minghao Li on “ If You Know What ‘Brainrot’ Means, You Might Already Have It. ”

Vivian Wan on “ The Book Bag That Binds Japanese Society "

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