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Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

James Eimers

June 16, 2017

The Art of Writing Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

When 650 words or fewer play a critical role in determining where you’ll pursue your degree, it’s hard to think of admissions essays as anything other than serious business.

With such a small space to give admissions officers a glimpse into who you are and why you’d be a great addition to a given school, it’s always tempting to paint a professional, straight-laced picture of yourself; after all, what school wouldn’t want a mature student highly focused on academic success?

Indeed, for some students, this might be a completely reasonable approach to the Common App personal statement . However, as with many things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy when it comes to admissions essays, and it’s important to take a step back and recall their purpose. Test scores, grades, and letters of recommendation all play an important and informative role in the application process, but none allow you to present yourself in your own words—that’s the beauty of the admissions essays.

There are as many approaches and possible answers to essay questions as there are applicants, including those with a keen sense of humor. Admissions readers count on this because, aside from assembling an incoming class that meets the academic profile of their schools, they hope to admit interesting students with diverse talents who will enrich the educational and life experience of those around them. As a result, even though it feels a bit untraditional, letting your personality—including your sense of humor—shine through your essays can be an excellent way to create a memorable application.

Although humor can go a long way to demonstrating an applicant’s creativity and personality, this doesn’t mean that the approach will work for everyone. It actually can be a common personal statement mistake to try and use humor. Funny personal statements can definitely pack a punch, but they're difficult to do well. When writing what I call a “humorous/offbeat” admissions essay, there are a few key concepts to keep in mind.

Remember that humor itself should never be the main point of the essay. It’s perfectly acceptable to make your reader smile or even laugh out loud, but only in the course of telling a story that reveals something important about yourself. In other words, ensure that you use humor only as a device to highlight or enhance the underlying substance or reflective nature of your essay. Funny personal statements are effective only in showing the personal qualities of the writer at the same time.

You should never force humor into your essays, even when attempting funny personal statements . It is an unfortunate truth of life that making others laugh does not come naturally to all of us, so the offbeat/humor essay might not be an option for everyone. Admissions essays should indicate who you really are; forced humor that falls flat will indeed leave a memorable impression, but for all the wrong reasons.

When writing funny personal statements , the peer-review process becomes even more important than it already is. Humor is subjective by nature, so before clicking “submit” on your applications, make sure that a wide variety of people in your life (friends, parents, and teachers) have read your essays. If all your readers think your essay is appropriate and lighthearted, you’ve likely composed an essay with humor that will land well with an admissions office. If not, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.

When done correctly, f unny personal statements can be extremely effective. One of the best essays I’ve ever read followed this formula: Rife with stories about fanciful white lies he had told others over the years, this student’s essay at first seemed risky. Why reveal to an admissions office the fact that you have, at times, stretched the truth?

However, the student soon made it clear that stretching the truth in his younger days was in fact an early manifestation of his larger desire to tell stories—he wanted to study creative writing and ultimately become an author. His past storytelling revealed much about his creative character and also the fact that, although he had done quite well in school, he didn’t take himself too seriously while doing so. Ultimately, the student was admitted to a number of top schools.

I’ll leave you with some final tips to review when thinking about using humor in your admissions essays:

Stay away from potentially controversial topics—at best, you will demonstrate a lack of self-awareness, and at worst you might personally offend the admissions reader. Again, peer review your humor before submitting!
The humor should be original. By writing funny personal statements , you are illustrating the fact that you are a creative student with a good sense of humor—recycling humor falls short here.
You can use humor in many different types of essays, but remember that the humor should be added only after you already know what story you want to tell; humor alone should never be the substance of your essay.
Subtle humor can often make a stronger impression than can loud, straightforward humor.

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100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

So, if you are looking to add humor to your presentation, one of the best ways is to insert self-deprecating humor in the form of funny stories. A good story from your own personal experience will be easier to insert into your speech. The story will also create more of a shared experience with your audience. For details about how to use stories to add humor to your speech , click here.

With that being said, though, sometimes, you just need to get a quick laugh out of your audience. And good jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood. We’ve organized the post into four categories of public-speaking jokes.

100 Public Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech.

Public-Speaking Jokes .
One-Liners about Public Speaking and Presenting .
Funny Public Speaking Quotes .
Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers .

Want to beat stage fright, articulate with poise, and land your dream job? See how you score on our 2-minute public speaking assessment and get the Fearless Presenter’s Playbook for FREE!

Public-Speaking Jokes for Your Next Presentation to Add a Little Fun.

Between you and I, telling jokes in front of an audience is pretty risky. But sometimes, just getting the audience to laugh right from the start can lighten the mood. Here are a few jokes about public speaking that you can use when you are public speaking.

Jokes about Being Nervous and the Fear of Public Speaking

7 Presentation Habits that Make Your Nervous Speaker

Why did the public speaker hire a pitching coach? Because he needed to improve his delivery!
I used to think I was afraid of public speaking, but just now, I realized I was actually afraid of audiences.
A public speaker asked the audience, “How many of you are afraid of public speaking?” About half the audience raised their hands. The speaker replied, “Don’t worry, I used to be too. In fact, there was a 50/50 chance that I’d canceled today’s talk!”
My wife was nervous about public speaking. So, I told her she should embrace her mistake to add a little humor to her delivery. She gave me a hug. Then she laughed.
Public speaking tip: Imagine the audience naked. But not if you’re giving a eulogy.

Funny Jokes about Presentation Challenges.

Okay, funny may be a little overexaggerated, but corny can work too. Here are a few jokes about challenges that can come up in a presentation.

Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke during my speech, but you didn’t like it.
I asked the librarian if there were any books on how to overcome the fear of public speaking. She whispered, “They’re in the self-help section, but you might have to speak up to find them.”
I used to be a baker before I became a public speaker. I kneaded the dough, and now I need the audience!
Why did the public speaker become a gardener? Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow!

These Jokes Are about Audience Interaction.

I asked the audience if anyone had experience with public speaking. A cricket in the corner started chirping.
The best way to become a confident public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. Unless you’re speaking at a nudist colony.
I told my wife I was going to give a speech on procrastination. She said, “Maybe next time.”
How do you make a tissue dance during a speech? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the extroverted computer become a public speaker? Because it had great social networking skills!

Public Speaking Jokes about Presentation Themes.

These funny (or corny) jokes are about the process of public speaking. You can easily use one of these if you start with… “Before I actually start my presentation…” then add the joke.

I asked my friend if he had any advice for public speaking. He said, “Yes, just imagine the audience is full of cats. They don’t care what you’re saying, but they’ll pay attention if you have treats.”
How do you organize a fantastic space-themed presentation? You planet!
Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new heights in communication!
My friend tried to give a speech on patience, but the audience left before he finished. It seems they didn’t have the patience for it.
Why did the microphone apply for a job in public speaking? Because it wanted to be heard at work!

A Few Random Public Speaking Jokes (Use with Caution.)

These last few public speaking jokes are a little more tricky. You’d want to save these only for the right type of crowd.

I used to be afraid of public speaking, but then I realized it’s just talking in front of people. Now I’m terrified of public listening.
What’s a public speaker’s favorite kind of fish? The articulate!
I told my friend I was giving a speech about a famous chicken. He asked, “Is it poultry in motion?”
I was going to make a joke about public speaking, but I figured it would be better in front of a live audience.
Why did the scarecrow become a great public speaker? He was outstanding in his field!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes . Click here for details.

Here Are a Few Public Speaking One-Liners to Get Your Audience Laughing.

You’ll have a much easier time just adding a funny one-liner every now and then. When you tell a joke, you typically have to get your audience to respond. And, in some cases, the audience will finish your joke.

So a well-placed one-liner will often get you a quick chuckle without as much risk. Here are a few that we organized into five different categories.

These One-Liners Are Related to Audience Interaction (Or Audience Reactions.)

“I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I did once get a standing ovation… because I tripped over the microphone cord.”
“I asked my audience if they had any questions after my speech. One person raised their hand and asked, ‘When does the torture end?'”
“Public speaking is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell.”
“I used to be afraid of public speaking until I realized every audience is just a bunch of people hoping you don’t notice them.”
“I gave a speech on procrastination. The audience is still waiting for the punchline.”

Here Are a Few about Speech Techniques and Styles.

“I asked the audience if they knew the definition of a will. Apparently, ‘a dead giveaway’ wasn’t the right answer.”
“I don’t have a fear of public speaking; I have a fear of public not listening.”
“Why don’t public speakers ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the lectern.”
“I used to be a mime, but I couldn’t stay silent about it. Now I’m a public speaker.”
“I told the audience I’d be speaking off the cuff. Turns out, my cuff was more interesting than my speech.”

That’s Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

“I used to be a public speaker at a mime convention. Needless to say, my speeches were a big hit.”
“I asked the audience if they could define irony. They said, ‘Sure, it’s like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron.'”
“Public speaking is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s terrifying, and I always feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.”
“I used to be a motivational speaker, but then I lost my train of thought. Now I’m just a ‘meh’-tivational speaker.”
“Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the speech? To reach the high points, of course!”

These One-Liners Are about Speech Topics and Delivery.

“I told the audience I’m going to talk about time travel. They’re still waiting for my future self to arrive.”
“I tried to give a speech on humility, but everyone said I was the best at it.”
“Why did the public speaker get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise – corn farming.”
“I asked the crowd if they liked my tie. They said, ‘It’s not the tie, it’s what you’re saying that’s knot working.'”
“I tried to make a speech about sleep, but I dozed off during my own presentation.”

Funny One-Liners Related to the Challenges of Public Speaking.

“I asked the audience for silence during my speech. Apparently, their laughter didn’t get the memo.”
(If your audience won’t give you feedback.) “Dialogue is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.”
(If you happen to break wind because of nervousness.) “I’m not a nervous public speaker. I just have a very expressive colon.”
“I told my wife I’m writing a book on public speaking. She told me to speak louder.”
“Why did the PowerPoint file go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.”

Funny Motivational Quotes Related to Public Speaking.

A really good way to add humor to any speech is to insert a funny quote from a famous person. These funny motivational quotes are very easy to insert. In fact, you can add them to your speech introduction right at the start. That will lighten the tension in the room and get your audience laughing.

Here are a few that always hit home!

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech.

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
“Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill
“The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.” – Author Unknown

Quotes Related to Adding Humor to Your Speech.

If you are looking for a famous quote specifically about adding humor to a speech, try one of these.

“The first time I spoke in the West, the agents and organizers looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God, she’s funny.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve been funny all my life, but I never knew it.'” – Maya Angelou
“If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” – Bill Gates
“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
“The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven’t thought of yet.” – Ann Landers
“I used to be a good communicator, but then I realized I was talking to myself.” – Author Unknown

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing.

“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Steven Wright
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” – Duke Ellington
“I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid, my father took me to all the historic spots. Every time I refused to get out of the car.” – W.C. Fields

The Funny Quotes Can Help You Make Your Point Better.

Like the last group, these funny quotes aren’t about public speaking. But you will likely be able to use them if you are delivering an informative speech.

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde
“I have never been in a situation where having a sense of humor and a giving spirit didn’t lead to a better result.” – Ed Catmull
“The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.” – Josh Billings
“I like to talk about my obsession with food. I love to eat. I’m not a ‘foodie,’ but I do love to eat.” – Miranda Kerr
“I failed public speaking in college the first time and made a ‘D’ in the second class. It was horrible.” – John Grisham

These Last Funny Quotes Didn’t Fit the Other Categories. (LOL!)

These last quotes didn’t really fit in any of the other categories. But they are pretty funny. If you can find a way to insert them into your speech, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.

“It’s hard to be serious when you’re surrounded by balloons.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Willie Nelson
“I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

Years ago, I taught a leadership class for his team. And at the start of every session, he stood up in front of the group and told a corny Dad joke. The jokes were cringy. But whether the audience laughed or turned up their nose, they all smiled. Over the next few years, I noticed that Ron’s employee turnover was almost zero. It was unheard of in his industry.

It turns out that his team absolutely loved him. He made a tough job much more fun to come to. So, I changed my tune about Dad jokes. Here are a few that you can use to start your next speech or meeting.

Food Public Speaking Jokes

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Science and Technology Jokes.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Academic Jokes for a Presentation.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Spooky Jokes

Why did the skeleton go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Miscellaneous Jokes

I only know how to make holy water. I boil the hell out of it.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
What did the snowman with a six-pack say? An abdominal snowman!

presentation skills | humor , jokes

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32 Great Speech Opening Lines: Captivate Your Audience From the First Word

Using great speech opening lines is your greatest opportunity to captivate your audience. It’s the moment you get attention, spark curiosity, and set the tone for a powerful message.

But crafting that opening line can be daunting. Should it be a funny opening ? Thought-provoking? Relatable? The answer depends on your audience, topic, and overall goal.

That’s where this guide comes in. We’ve prepared 32 great speech opening lines that you can use for a wide range of situations. Whether you’re a student delivering a presentation or a seasoned speaker addressing a conference, these lines will help you make a great first impression.

We’ll also answer the most common questions people ask about speech openings. So, let’s dive in and discover the power of speech openings!

Thought-Provoking speech Opening lines

“ Imagine a world where… ” (This prompts the audience to envision a scenario related to your topic.)
“ Have you ever wondered why… ” (This sparks curiosity and encourages active listening.)
“ The most important thing you’ll learn today is… ” (This creates anticipation and emphasizes the value of your message.)
“ The decision we make today will determine… ” (This highlights the significance of the issue at hand.)
“ We are at a crossroads, facing a choice between… ” (This frames the speech as a turning point.)
“ What if I told you that everything you thought you knew about…was wrong? ” (This challenges assumptions and piques interest.)
“ There’s a hidden truth we must uncover… ” (This sets up a mystery and builds intrigue.)
“ We’re here today to challenge the status quo and embrace… ” (This establishes a call to action and promotes change.)

Storytelling speech Open ers

“ Let me tell you a story about a time when… ” ( Stories create emotional connections and are memorable.)
“ I remember the day I first… ” (Personal anecdotes add authenticity and relatability.)
“ Years ago, I met a person who changed my perspective on… ” (This introduces a character and sets the stage for a transformative narrative.)
“ Picture this: … ” (This paints a vivid image and transports the audience into the heart of your story.)
“ The year was… and I found myself in a situation I never could have imagined. ” (This sets the scene for a dramatic or humorous anecdote.)
“ I never thought I’d be standing here today… ” (This creates a sense of overcoming challenges and inspires the audience.)

Humorous speech Opening lines

“ I was going to tell a joke about [topic], but then I realized it might be too [adjective] for this audience. ” (This playful self-awareness can be disarming and endearing.)
“ Before I begin, I have a confession to make: I’m not as [adjective] as I look. ” (This creates anticipation and sets a lighthearted tone.)
“ I promise to keep this speech shorter than a teenager’s attention span. ” (A relatable joke that acknowledges the challenge of holding an audience’s attention.)
“ If you’re looking for a boring speech, you’ve come to the wrong place. ” (This sets an expectation for an engaging presentation.)
“ I’m not sure why I was invited to speak. I’m about as qualified as a [humorous comparison]. ” (Self-deprecating humour can be charming and make you more approachable.)
“ I know what you’re thinking: ‘This person looks just like [famous person].’ Well, you’re half right. We both have [shared characteristic]. ” (A bit of playful interaction can engage the audience and make them feel involved.)

Using Quotes for speech Opening lines

“ As [famous person] once said, ‘…’. ” ( Quotes from well-known figures add credibility and wisdom.)
“ [Quote]… These words have stayed with me, and today I want to share why they are so relevant to… ” (This personalizes the quote and demonstrates its importance.)
“ In the words of the wise [famous person], ‘…’. ” (This adds a touch of humour and reverence.)
“ [Quote]… This simple yet profound statement captures the essence of what I want to discuss today. ” (This connects the quote directly to your topic.)

Question speech Opening lines

“ What would you do if you had the power to… ” (This engages the audience and sparks their imagination.)
“ Have you ever considered the impact of… on our lives? ” (This invites reflection and encourages a deeper understanding of the issue.)
“ How many of you have ever experienced…? ” (This creates a shared experience and fosters a connection with the audience.)
“ What if the solution to [problem] was simpler than we thought? ” (This challenges conventional thinking and offers a new perspective.)

Student-Friendly speech Opening lines

“ Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by… ” (This creates a safe space for students to share common experiences.)
“ As students, we have the power to… ” (This empowers students and inspires them to take action .)
“ Our generation is facing unique challenges, but we also have unique opportunities to… ” (This connects with students on a generational level.)
“ The lessons we learn in school extend far beyond the classroom… ” (This emphasizes the practical value of education.)

FAQ about speech openers

Here are the answers to some common questions people ask about great speech opening lines:

What is the best opening line for a speech? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but the best opening line will hook your audience, be relevant to your topic, and match the tone you want to set.
How do you start a good opening speech? Start by understanding your audience and your goal. Then, choose a line that aligns with both. Consider using humour, a story, a question, or a powerful statement.
What is a good starting sentence for a speech? A good starting sentence grabs attention and makes people want to hear more. It could be a surprising fact, a personal anecdote, or a thought-provoking question.
What is a good greeting to start a speech? While a simple “Good morning/afternoon/evening” is fine, you can make it more engaging by adding a personalized touch or a bit of humour. For example, “Good evening, fellow bookworms and those who were dragged here by bookworms!”

To create a truly impactful speech, consider exploring our comprehensive guide on speech structure , where you’ll learn how to craft a great speech that resonates from start to finish, whether you’re a student giving a presentation or a keynote speaker at a conference.

Watch this video. It provides tips and examples for crafting effective opening lines for speeches.

Remember, your opening line is your golden opportunity to forge a connection with your audience. It’s the bridge between you and your listeners, the first step in a shared journey of ideas and emotions.

Think of the thought-provoking openers as seeds of curiosity, planting questions in your audience’s minds that your speech will answer. Use storytelling openers to create emotional resonance, making your message unforgettable. Employ humorous openers to break the ice and build rapport. Quote openers can add gravitas and wisdom to your words, while question openers invite active participation and critical thinking.

Whether you’re a student seeking to impress your classmates or a professional addressing a conference, the right opening line can transform a good speech into a great one. It’s not just about the words you choose; it’s about the impact you create.

So, take these great speech opening lines, make them your own, and let your voice be heard! Remember, a powerful opening is just the first step.

6 Examples of Killer Speech Openings That You Can Use

Think about a speech you saw or heard that stuck with you. What is it about that speech that makes you remember it long after you’ve heard it? The speaker was probably dynamic and engaging or the topic was compelling and of particular interest to you. The speech probably had a killer opening as well.

The introduction to a speech is one of its most crucial aspects. It’s where you grab your audience’s attention and set the tone for the rest of the speech. If your speech opening isn’t memorable, the rest of your speech probably won’t be either.

To help you understand the impact a good opening can have, here’s a list of six killer speech intros. The fact that these speeches are so memorable shows why public speaking is important and why your introduction should be strong.

Julian Treasure: Start with a question

“The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war or say ‘I love you.’ And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?”

Julian Treasure’s speech “How to speak so that people want to listen” showcases a tried and true speech opening technique: asking a question. You shouldn’t ask just any question, though. It should be a compelling, thought-provoking question that doesn’t have a straightforward answer.

Asking the audience what they had for lunch that day isn’t compelling, unless you have an interesting reason for asking it that you follow up with. Treasure’s compelling question doesn’t require an immediate answer but instead asks you to think.

Ric Elias: Incredible story

“Imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. Imagine a plane full of smoke. Imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. It sounds scary. Well, I had a unique seat that day. I was sitting in 1D.”

One way to grab the attention of your audience right away is to tell an exciting or unbelievable story. Ric Elias’s speech about surviving a plane crash goes straight into the action, asking the listener to imagine unbelievable situation he was in. With an opening like that, who wouldn’t want to keep listening to find out what happens next?

To make your intro story more effective, don’t finish it right away. Come back to it later in the speech so that your audience is held in anticipation.

Dan Pink: Make a “confession”

“I need to make a confession at the outset here. A little over 20 years ago, I did something that I regret, something that I’m not particularly proud of.”

Dan Pink’s speech grabs your attention right away because he makes a confession. He’s letting you in on a secret about himself or something he did and you want to listen because you want to hear it.

Letting your audience know a secret or confessing information about yourself makes them feel exclusive, like they have access to something that others don’t. Exclusivity always piques interest.

Jane McGonigal: Provocative statement

“I’m a gamer, so I like to have goals. I like special missions and secret objectives. So here’s my special mission for this talk: I’m going to try to increase the life span of every single person in this room by seven and a half minutes. Literally, you will live seven and a half minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you watched this talk.”

Starting a speech with a provocative statement is similar to starting with a question. You make the audience think. You surprise them or say something unexpected and they keep listening to hear an explanation.

Jane McGonigal uses this tactic in her speech , claiming she will expand the life span of every audience member by seven and half minutes. It’s intriguing, provocative, and makes you wonder instantly how she’s going to do it.

Pamela Meyer: Set up a problem (then solve it)

“Okay, now I don’t want to alarm anybody in this room, but it’s just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar. Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also, the person sitting in your very seats is a liar. We’re all liars.”

People love hearing about a big problem and then knowing the solution — it’s a common framework from literature that you can borrow for your speech. By telling her entire audience that they are liars, Pamela Meyer sets up a problem that seems difficult to solve: how to know who is a liar. She unravels the solution in the rest of her speech , explaining how to become a liespotter.

Sir Ken Robinson: Humor

“Good morning. How are you?” (Audience replies “Good”) “It’s been great, hasn’t it? I’ve been blown away by the whole thing. In fact, I’m leaving.”

Humor can be an impactful way to start a speech, but it’s also risky. Your joke might fall flat and leave everyone feeling uncomfortable. If you tell the right joke, however, it can go over well.

Sir Ken Robinson’s speech , “Do schools kill creativity?” is one of the most watched TED Talks of all time and for good reason. His speech is engaging and dynamic, centering on a topic that almost everyone can easily relate to. What could’ve been a boring start — “Good morning. How are you?” — becomes a funny and memorable speech opening thanks to Robinson’s timing and deadpan delivery.

Make your speech opening memorable

If you want to deliver an engaging address that your audience members will speak about years later, be sure to craft an unforgettable opening. By using any of the above techniques, you’re likely to have a more solid start to your speech. Who knows? Maybe your speech opening will be so good it’ll end up on a list just like this one.

The Secret to Good Storytelling

100 Quotes to Kickstart Your Personal Statement (with examples)

by Talha Omer, M.Eng., Cornell Grad

In personal statement tips & advice.

Starting your personal statement for university admissions can be a daunting task. It’s the first thing the admissions committee will read about you, and it needs to capture your unique voice, experiences, and aspirations in just a few words. So, where do you begin?

One effective way to start is with a powerful quote that reflects your values, interests, or goals.

A great quote can set the tone for your essay, grab the reader’s attention, and showcase your personality and potential. In this blog post, I’ll explore quotes that you can draw from. I’ll also provide a couple of examples where successful candidates used quotes to begin their personal statements.

To make the process of selecting the perfect quote for your personal statement even easier, I’ve organized the list into categories that are common themes in personal statements. Whether you’re seeking to showcase your resilience, or creativity, I’ve got you covered with a range of quotes that can help you stand out from the crowd.

In this Article

Inspirational Quotes for personal statement

Leadership Quotes for personal statement

Personal growth quotes for personal statement, academic quotes for personal statement, professional quotes for personal statement, cultural quotes for personal statement, creative quotes for personal statement, perseverance quotes for personal statement, inspirational quotes for personal statement .

Inspirational quotes can be a great way to show your motivation, resilience, and determination. They can also help you communicate your values and beliefs and demonstrate your commitment to achieving your goals.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” – Malcolm X
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

Here is an example opening paragraph of a personal statement where the candidate used an inspirational quote to begin:

As a lifelong learner and problem-solver, I’ve always been drawn to the field of artificial intelligence. But it wasn’t until I read a quote by Alan Turing that I truly appreciated the transformative potential of this field: ‘We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.’ These words resonated with me deeply, and I realized that the possibilities of artificial intelligence are limited only by our imaginations and our willingness to take risks. Throughout my academic and professional journey, I’ve sought out opportunities to push the boundaries of what’s possible, from pursuing advanced degrees in computer science to working on cutting-edge research projects. Through these experiences, I’ve learned the importance of collaboration, innovation, and perseverance in tackling the toughest challenges facing our world today. And as I look forward to contributing to the field of artificial intelligence, I’m inspired by the limitless potential of this technology and committed to using it to make a positive impact on society.

Leadership quotes can help you showcase your ability to lead and inspire others, and your commitment to making a positive impact in your community. They can also demonstrate your understanding of the importance of teamwork, communication, and collaboration, which are essential skills in many fields of study and careers.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell
“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” – John F. Kennedy
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller
“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.” – Ronald Reagan
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams
“Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” – Warren Bennis
“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” – Peter Drucker
“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” – Jim Rohn
“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair
“The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” – Ralph Nader

Here is an example opening paragraph of a personal statement where the candidate used a leadership quote to begin:

As an aspiring business leader, I am always striving to develop the qualities and characteristics that will enable me to make a positive impact in my chosen field. To me, leadership is not just about achieving success, but also about helping others to reach their full potential. That’s why I find inspiration in the words of former U.S. President John Quincy Adams, who once said, ‘If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.’ This quote captures the essence of what I believe it means to be a leader – to inspire, to guide, and to empower others to achieve their goals. I am committed to embodying these qualities as I pursue my education and career in business, with the goal of making a meaningful difference in the lives of those around me.

Personal growth is a lifelong process of learning, self-discovery, and personal development, and it’s an important aspect of personal and academic success. Using a personal growth quote in your personal statement can demonstrate your commitment to self-improvement, your willingness to learn and grow, and your ability to overcome challenges and setbacks.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.” – W. Clement Stone
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus

These quotes can be particularly relevant for students who have excelled academically, or who are interested in pursuing a career in academia or research. Academic quotes can be used to demonstrate your knowledge, and intellectual curiosity, as well as your ability to think critically and engage with complex ideas. They can also show your dedication to your field of study and your commitment to academic excellence.

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
“The aim of education is the knowledge, not of facts, but of values.” – William S. Burroughs
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” – W.B. Yeats
“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.” – B.B. King
“Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” – John Dewey
“Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
“Education is the movement from darkness to light.” – Allan Bloom

These quotes can be used to demonstrate your understanding and passion for your chosen field, as well as your commitment to excellence and professionalism. They can also be used to highlight specific skills or achievements that you have acquired in your professional pursuits, such as teamwork, problem-solving, or leadership.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius
“Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you’re not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were.” – David Rockefeller
“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” – Colin Powell
“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” – Chris Grosser
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

These quotes can help you showcase your appreciation and understanding of cultural diversity, your willingness to learn from different perspectives, and your interest in contributing to the global community. They can also be used to highlight any experiences or achievements that you have had in cultural immersion, cross-cultural communication, or intercultural exchange.

“No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“Culture is the widening of the mind and of the spirit.” – Jawaharlal Nehru
“Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers.” – Paulo Coelho
“Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.” – Rita Mae Brown
“Culture is not a luxury, but a necessity for every society.” – Pearl S. Buck
“Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs.” – Thomas Wolfe
“Culture is the sum total of all the things that make a society distinctive.” – Clifford Geertz
“The beauty of culture is that it evolves through time and generations, shaping our values and beliefs.” – Chinua Achebe
“The richness of our culture reflects the diversity of our people.” – Unknown
“Culture is the window reflecting the soul of a nation.” – Wang Meng

They can also be used if you want to showcase your ability to think outside the box or to approach problems in a creative and innovative way, regardless of your field of study.

“Creativity is seeing what everyone else has seen, and thinking what no one else has thought.” – Albert Einstein
“The creative adult is the child who survived.” – Ursula K. Le Guin
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
“Creativity takes courage.” – Henri Matisse
“To be creative means to be in love with life.” – Osho
“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” – Julia Cameron
“The chief enemy of creativity is ‘good’ sense.” – Pablo Picasso
“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” – Dorothy Parker
“Creativity is contagious. Pass it on.” – Albert Einstein

Perseverance is a universal quality that is admired by all, and demonstrating a strong work ethic and determination to overcome challenges can be valuable in any academic or professional setting. Whether you have overcome personal obstacles or worked hard to achieve academic or professional success, using a perseverance quote can be a powerful way to convey your resilience and determination to admissions committees.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison
“I have failed again and again throughout my life. That’s why I am a success.” – Michael Jordan
“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” – Walter Elliot
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” – Michael Jordan
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb
“The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the story you keep telling yourself that you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort
“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.” – Newt Gingrich
I hope these quotes provide some inspiration and ideas for your personal statement! Remember, choose quotes that speak to you personally and help showcase your unique strengths and qualities to the admissions committee.

Selecting the right quote to begin your personal statement can be a powerful tool to help you stand out in the admissions process. By choosing a quote that resonates with you and reflects your unique qualities and aspirations, you can set the tone for your personal statement and make a memorable first impression on the admissions team.

Whether you choose a quote about perseverance, leadership, or anything else, make sure it authentically represents who you are and what you hope to achieve. With these inspiring quotes as your guide, you’ll be one step closer to crafting a personal statement that showcases your strengths, character, and potential.

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Should You Be Funny In Your College Essay + Examples

What’s Covered:

Why are college essays important, should you be funny in your college essay, tips for adding humor to your college essays, essay examples, how to make sure your humor is effective.

College essays are an important part of your application profile. They humanize you and provide you with the opportunity to prove that you’re an interesting individual beyond your grades and test scores.

Some ways students humanize themselves include reflecting on their values, clueing readers into their backstory, showing off their personalities, or any combination of these.

One question that may come up with regards to showing off your personality is: can I be funny in my college essay?

Read along to hear our expert opinion on the subject and tips for writing a funny essay, the right way. You can also check out a few examples of essays that have successfully included humor to give you a good idea of what’s appropriate for your writing.

To put it simply, college essays are needed because top colleges have lots of qualified candidates and, to get accepted, you need to stand out. It is estimated that, at top schools, there are at least four academically-qualified applicants for every open spot. This means that students hoping to gain admission to top schools must supplement outstanding grades with other outstanding qualities.

Ways to make yourself stand out include extracurriculars, recommendations and interviews, and essays. At the nation’s top schools, reports tell us that these non-academic factors are weighted respectively as accounting for 30%, 10%, and 25% of your overall admissions chances. The fact that essays account for 25% of your admissions chances means that they could be your key to acceptance at your dream school.

If you are interested in the specific factors that determine how important essays are for individual candidates at individual schools, check out this post .

Essays are heavily weighted in the admissions process because they are the only place where admissions officers get to hear directly from you. An individual’s voice says a lot about them—how mature they are, how comfortable they are with their experiences, and even how likable they are. These are important factors for admissions officers who are trying to see how you would fit in on their campus!

The gist of our answer: if your personality is funny, feel free to be funny! As we’ve said, an important opportunity provided to you by the college essay is the opportunity to show your personality. Humor, if done correctly, can be an important part of that.

That said, if you are only attempting humor because you think it is what admissions officers want to hear or because you think it will help you stand out, abandon ship and find a way to shape your essay that is true to your personality. Try writing down how you view your personality or ask friends and family for adjectives that describe your personality, then show that personality through your voice. It will be more natural this way!

Some elements of personality that could define your voice, if humor isn’t for you:

Thoughtful/reflective
Extroverted/social
Charismatic
Clever/witty
Honest/authentic
Considerate
Practical/rational

Additionally, if you cannot follow some basic guidelines (listed below) for how to incorporate humor into your essay, you might want to change your course.

1. Be Appropriate

First things first: be appropriate. Humor is, of course, subjective, but make sure your subject matter would be considered appropriate by absolutely anyone reading it. Think about the most traditional person you know and make sure they would be okay with it. No jokes about sex, drugs, lying, crimes, or anything inappropriate—even if the joke is “obviously” against the inappropriate thing you are mentioning.

2. Don’t Be Overly Informal

You want your essay to position you as mature and intelligent, and the way you control language is a sign of maturity and intellect. That said, lots of humor—particularly the humor of young people and internet humor—are based on informality, intentional grammatical errors, and slang. These types of humor, while arguably funny, should be excluded from college essays!

As you write, remember that you know nothing about your admissions officer. Of course, you do not know their age, race, or gender, but you also don’t know their sense of humor. The last thing you want to do is make a joke with an intentional grammatical error and be perceived as unintelligent or make a joke with slang that confuses your reader and makes them think you don’t have a firm grasp of the English language.

3. Avoid Appearing Disrespectful or Inconsiderate

Humor often involves making fun of someone or something. It is very important that you do not make fun of the wrong things! In the last example, the student made fun of themself and their failed cooking experience. That is totally acceptable.

Things that you should not make fun of:

Other people (particularly those in positions of authority)
Political ideas
Religious ideas
Anything involving ethics, morals, or values

When you make fun of others, you risk sounding cold or unsympathetic. Admissions officers want to admit candidates who are mature and understand that they can never understand the struggles of others. That means you shouldn’t make a cutting joke about your old boss or an unintelligent politician who was running for your city mayor, even if they are the villain in your anecdote.

Similarly, avoid jokes about types of people. Avoid stereotypes in your jokes.

In general, it is hard to write a humorous essay about a controversial subject. Controversial issues are typically issues that require deep thought and conversation, so if you intend to engage with them, you should consider a more reflective approach, or consider integrating reflection with your humor.

Here is an example of a student successfully poking fun at themself with their humor, while alluding to controversy:

My teenage rebellion started at age twelve. Though not yet technically a teenager, I dedicated myself to the cause: I wore tee shirts with bands on them that made my parents cringe, shopped exclusively at stores with eyebrow-pierced employees, and met every comforting idea the world offered me with hostility. Darkness was in my soul! Happiness was a construct meant for sheep! Optimism was for fools! My cynicism was a product of a world that gave birth to the War in Afghanistan around the same time it gave birth to me, that shot and killed my peers in school, that irreversibly melted ice caps and polluted oceans and destroyed forests.

I was angry. I fought with my parents, my peers, and strangers. It was me versus the world.

However, there’s a fundamental flaw in perpetual antagonism: it’s exhausting. My personal relationships suffered as my cynicism turned friends and family into bad guys in my eyes. As I kept up the fight, I found myself always tired, emotionally and physically. The tipping point came one morning standing at the bathroom sink before school.

This student engages with controversial subject matter, but the humorous parts are the parts where she makes fun of herself and her beliefs— “ Darkness was in my soul! Happiness was a construct meant for sheep! Optimism was for fools!” Additionally, the student follows up their humor with reflection: “ However, there’s a fundamental flaw in perpetual antagonism: it’s exhausting. My personal relationships suffered as my cynicism turned friends and family into bad guys in my eyes.”

This student is both funny and mature, witty and reflective, and, above all, a good writer with firm control of language.

4. Don’t Force It

We have already mentioned not to force humor, but we are mentioning it again because it is very important!

Here is an example of a student whose forced humor detracts from the point of their essay:

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box.

As this student attempts to characterize themself as stuck in their ways (to eventually describe how they overcame this desire for comfort), their humor feels gimmicky. They describe their preparedness in a way that comes off as inauthentic. It’s funny to imagine them carrying around a first aid kit everywhere they go, but does the reader believe it? Then, when they write “ Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? ” they create an image of themself as that goofy, overprepared kit in a sitcom. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and the point of a college essay is to make yourself seem like a real person to admissions officers. Don’t sacrifice your essay to humor.

5. Make Sure Your Humor Is Clear

Humor is subjective, so run your essay by people—lots and lots of people—to see if they are confused, offended, or distracted. Ask people to read your essay for content and see if they mention the humor (positively or negatively), but also specifically ask people what they think about the humor. Peer feedback is always important but becomes particularly useful when attempting a humorous essay.

Essay Example #1

Prompt: Tell us an interesting or amusing story about yourself from your high school years. (350 words)

Cooking is one of those activities at which people are either extremely talented or completely inept. Personally, I’ve found that I fall right in the middle, with neither prodigal nor abhorrent talents. After all, it’s just following instructions, right? Unfortunately, one disastrous night in my kitchen has me questioning that logic.

The task was simple enough: cook a turkey stir fry. In theory, it’s an extremely simple dish. However, almost immediately, things went awry. While I was cutting onions, I absentmindedly rubbed at my eyes and smeared my mascara. (Keep this in mind; it’ll come into play later.) I then proceeded to add the raw turkey to the vegetable pot. Now, as any good chef knows, this means that either the vegetables will burn or the turkey will be raw. I am admittedly not a good chef.

After a taste test, I decided to take a page out of the Spice Girls’ book and “spice up my life”, adding some red chili paste. This was my fatal mistake. The bottle spilled everywhere. Pot, counter, floor, I mean everywhere . While trying to clean up the mess, my hands ended up covered in sauce.

Foolishly, I decided to taste my ruined meal anyway. My tongue felt like it was on fire and I sprinted to the bathroom to rinse my mouth. I looked in the mirror and, noticing the raccoon eyes formed by my mascara, grabbed a tissue. What I had neglected to realize was that chili paste had transferred to the tissue—the tissue which I was using to wipe my eyes. I don’t know if you’ve ever put chili paste anywhere near your eyes, but here’s a word of advice: don’t. Seriously, don’t .

I fumbled blindly for the sink handle, mouth still on fire, eyes burning, presumably looking like a character out of a Tim Burton film. After I rinsed my face, I sat down and stared at my bowl of still-too-spicy and probably-somewhat-raw stir fry, wondering what ancient god had decided to take their anger out on me that night, and hoping I would never incur their wrath ever again.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay is an excellent example of how to successfully execute humor. The student’s informal tone helps to bridge the gap between them and the reader, making us feel like we are sitting across the table from them and laughing along. Speaking directly to the reader in sentences like, “ Keep this in mind; it’ll come into play later, ” and “ I don’t know if you’ve ever put chili paste anywhere near your eyes, but here’s a word of advice: don’t. Seriously, don’t,” is a great tactic to downplay the formality of the essay.

The student’s humor comes through phrases like “ Now, as any good chef knows, this means that either the vegetables will burn or the turkey will be raw. I am admittedly not a good chef.” As this student plays on the common structure of “As any good (insert profession here) knows,” then subverts expectations, they make an easy-to-understand, casual but not flippant joke.

Similarly, the sentence “ I decided to take a page out of the Spice Girls’ book ,” reads in a light-hearted, funny tone. And, importantly, even if a reader had no idea who the Spice Girls were, they would recognize this as a pop-culture joke and would not be confused or lost in any way. The phrase “ raccoon eyes” is another humorous inclusion—even if the reader doesn’t know what it’s like to rub their eyes while wearing mascara they can picture the rings around a raccoon and imagine the spectacle.

As you can see from this essay, humor works well when you engage universal and inoffensive concepts in ways that are casual enough to be funny, but still comprehensible.

Essay Example #2

Prompt: Due to a series of clerical errors, there is exactly one typo (an extra letter, a removed letter, or an altered letter) in the name of every department at the University of Chicago. Oops! Describe your new intended major. Why are you interested in it and what courses or areas of focus within it might you want to explore? Potential options include Commuter Science, Bromance Languages and Literatures, Pundamentals: Issues and Texts, Ant History… a full list of unmodified majors ready for your editor’s eye is available here. —Inspired by Josh Kaufman, AB’18

When I shared the video of me eating fried insects in Thailand, my friends were seriously offended. Some stopped talking to me, while the rest thought I had lost my mind and recommended me the names of a few psychologists.

A major in Gastrophysics at UChicago is not for the faint hearted. You have to have a stomach for it! I do hope I am accepted to it as it is the only University in the U.S. with this unique major. My passion for trying unique food such as fish eye has made me want to understand the complexities of how it affects our digestive system. I understand that Gastrophysics started with a big pang of food, which quickly expanded to famish. Bite years are used to measure the amount of food ingested. I look forward to asking, “How many bite years can the stomach hold?” and “How do different enzymes react with the farticles?”

Gastrophysics truly unravels the physics of food. At UChicago I will understand the intricacies of what time to eat, how to eat and how food will be digested. Do we need to take antiparticle acid if we feel acidity is becoming a matter of concern? At what angle should the mouth be, for the best possible tasting experience? When I tried crocodile meat, I found that at a 0 degree tilt, it tasted like fish and chicken at the same time. But the same tasted more like fish at a negative angle and like chicken at a positive angle. I want to unravel these mysteries in a class by Professor Daniel Holz in gravitational gastrophysics, understanding the unseen strong and weak forces at play which attract food to our stomachs.

I find that Gastrophysics is also important for fastronomy. I want to learn the physics of fasting. How should we fast? Hubble bubble is a good chewing gum; an appetite suppressant in case you feel pangs of hunger. I have read how the UChicago Fastronauts are stepping up to test uncharted territories. Intermittent fasting is a new method being researched, and UChicago offers the opportunity for furthering this research. Which is better: fasting for 16 hours and eating for 8, or fasting for 24 hours twice a week? It is just one of the problems that UChicago offers a chance to solve.

I can also study the new branch it offers that uses farticle physics. It is the science of tracking farticles and how they interact with each other and chemicals in the stomach space. It could give rise to supernovae explosions, turning people into gas giants. It would also teach about the best ways to expel gas and clean the system and prevent stomach space expansion.

I want to take Fluid dynamics 101, another important course in Gastrophysics; teaching about the importance of water and other fluids in the body, and the most important question: what happens if you try to drink superfluids?

I hope to do interdisciplinary courses with observational gastrophysicists and work with environmental science majors to track how much methane is given by the human and animal gastrointestinal tract in the atmosphere and how much it contributes to the global climate change. I believe, with the help of courses in date science, they have been able to keep a track of how much methane is entering each day, and they found that during Dec 24-Jan 3 period, a spike in the methane and ethane levels could be seen. Accordingly, algorithms are being programmed to predict the changes all year round. I would love to use my strong mathematical background to explore these algorithms.

These courses are specially designed by the distinguished faculty of UChicago. Doing interdisciplinary research in collaboration with biological science students to determine what aliens may eat, with fart historians to know more about the intestinal structure of medieval Italians, Japanese, Chinese, Swedish and French people to better their lives is what I look forward to. The Paris study abroad program is an immersion course into fastronomy, where I will have the opportunity to test my self-control with all the amazing French food and desserts around!

My stomach rumbles now, so I am going out to try out new food – hopefully it will be in Chicago a few months later.

This is a fun essay! This student’s voice is present and their goofy personality is especially evident. Not only did they change the name of their major, but this student incorporated word play throughout the essay to showcase their imagination. Phrases like “ the big pang of food ”, “ bite years ”, “ fastronauts ”, and “ farticle physics ” keep the tone lighthearted and amusing.

Incorporating this style of humor takes a lot of creativity to be able to still convey your main idea while also earning a chuckle from your readers. While some jokes are a bit more low-brow—” farticles ” or “ fart historians ” for example—they are balanced out by some that are more clever and require a bit of thinking to get the A-ha moment (referencing the Hubble telescope as “ Hubble bubble chewing gum “). You might not feel comfortable including less sophisticated jokes in your essay at all, but if you do want to go down that path, having more intellectual sources of humor is important to provide balance.

Another positive of the essay is the continued thread of humor throughout. Sometimes humor is used as a tool in the introduction and abandoned in favor of practical information about the student. This essay manages to tell us about the student and their interests without sacrificing the laugh factor. Weaving humor throughout the essay like this makes the humor feel more genuine and helps us better understand this student’s personality.

Essay Example #3

Prompt: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (650 words)

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due.

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me.

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror.

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day).

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

While the humor in this essay isn’t as direct as the others, the subtle inclusion of little phrases in parentheses throughout the essay bring some comedy without feeling overbearing.

The contrast of elegant and posh Blanche DuBois and “ germs from children at work sneezing on me ” paints an ironic picture that you can’t help but laugh at. The ability to describe universal experiences also brings a level of humor to the essay. For example, the reader might laugh at the line, “ abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely,” because it brings to mind moments when they have done the same.

This student also achieves a humorous tone by poking fun at themselves. Admitting that they were “ hogging all the hot water, ” leading to “ (expensive) showers, ” as well as describing their stomachache as a “ guacamole-induced lack of self-control, ” keeps the tone casual and easy-going. Everybody has their flaws, and in this case long showers and guacamole are the downfall of this student.

While the tips and tricks we’ve given you will be extremely helpful when writing, it’s often not that simple. Feedback is ultimately any writer’s best source of improvement—especially when it comes to an element like humor which, naturally, can be hit-or-miss!

To get your college essay edited for free, use our Peer Review Essay Tool . With this tool, other students can tell you if your humor is effective/appropriate and help you improve your essay so that you can have the best chances of admission to your dream schools.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!