essay about love triangle

Things you buy through our links may earn  Vox Media  a commission.

Untangling Taylor Swift’s ‘Teenage Love Triangle’ Trilogy

When I was in college, back in two-thousand- *cough,* I fell down a rabbit hole of internet romance fic. I would spend hours reading plaintext HTML pages detailing the love lives of fictional teenagers in minute, melodramatic detail. If I had to guess, I’d say I was escaping a drab, uneventful life chapter by immersing myself in a fantasy of a past that I’d never experienced. So I understand completely where Taylor Swift is coming from. Folklore , the album she secretly recorded during quarantine, then dropped with 24 hours of notice on July 24, finds Swift expanding her storytelling skills with a trio of songs that collectively form what she calls her “Teenage Love Triangle” trilogy. It seems to have been the A-list pop-star equivalent of firing up AO3 . “I created character arcs and recurring themes that map out who is singing about whom,” Swift explained in a YouTube Q&A celebrating the album’s release. “These three songs explore a love triangle from all three people’s perspectives at different times in their lives.”

Swift has stayed mum about exactly which tracks form the triptych, but her lyrical Easter eggs have not been too hard to decipher. As many fans have noticed, the trio of “cardigan,” “august,” and “betty” fits the bill. Let’s run down the three songs, figure out how they work together, and see if we can untangle this time-jumping teenage entanglement.

We begin with the album’s lead single, which comes first on the track list but seems to be occurring last on the timeline. “ Cardigan ” is narrated by a woman we’ll later learn is named Betty, looking back with hindsight on an intense relationship from her youth. (Swift says she was inspired by the image of “a cardigan that still bears the scent of loss 20 years later.”) Betty remembers being lost and insecure, and she says her ex, James, made her feel held: “When I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed / You put me on and said I was your favorite.” In her telling, they had a passionate romance that ended when James cheated on her. “Chase two girls, lose the one / When you are young, they assume you know nothing.”

But Betty says, “I knew everything when I was young.” She knew she’d wear the scars from the betrayal for years, that James “would haunt all of my what-ifs.” And she knew too that James would “miss me once the thrill expired.” That appears to be exactly what happened as Betty recalls the night James tried to win her back by showing up at her front door unannounced. We don’t find out what came next: The song fades out as Betty repeats the wistful refrain “I knew you’d come back to me.”

Now it’s time for James’s paramour to tell her side of the story. “August” is a bit like “Another Suitcase in Another Hall,” from Evita , in that it’s an “other woman” singing about the end of an affair, her relative unimportance in her lover’s life underlined by the fact that she doesn’t even get a name. (Fans have taken to calling her August, but since we’ve already got one song/name overlap, I prefer “Unnamed Narrator of ‘august,’” or “Una” for short.) She barely gets mentioned in the other two songs, but “august” is her chance to assert her own narrative of the summer fling. She was young and inexperienced, and if it wasn’t love, it was at least infatuation. She sings in languid, late-summer imagery: “Your back beneath the sun / Wishing I could write my name on it.”

Una remembers her younger self as mostly unassertive, recalling the times she “canceled my plans just in case you’d call,” and how, though she wanted her and James to be a real couple, deep down it was enough “to live for the hope of it all.” (There’s also a flash of a scene of Una pulling up next to James in a car, a hint she wasn’t entirely passive.) Eventually, the romance ended when the summer did, as “August slipped away into a moment in time,” and Una is left with a bittersweet revelation: “You weren’t mine to lose.”

Finally, it’s James’s turn. While the narrators of “cardigan” and “august” both look back on the love triangle with hindsight, “ betty ” takes place in the present tense, sung from the perspective of 17-year-old James. (In a sly twist, the acoustic arrangement and Swift’s miraculously revived southern accent call back to the music she released when she was 17.) The backstory too is very Taylor Swift –era Taylor Swift: The whole thing started after a school dance, where James ditched Betty, then, after seeing her dance with some dude, stormed out in a huff. As James was walking home, Una pulled up in a car “like a figment of my worst intentions,” and things went from there. Meanwhile, Betty found out what happened through a gossip named Inez, who will be important later. Betty was so upset that she switched homerooms!

As the song goes on, a contrite James mulls how to get Betty back: “The only thing I wanna do / Is make it up to you.” Swift pulls from her familiar bag of tricks here, giving us a rousing sing-along chorus and an exhilarating key change, and it’s easy to get caught up in the thrill of teenage romance. But she also throws in subtle signs that James is a bit too immature for the sentiment to stick. First, minimization: “Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?” Then, shrugging off responsibility: “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything.” Throw in some deflection: “Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long.” Finally, add in residual bitterness: “Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?” The song ends on the same cliffhanger that “cardigan” does: James shows up on Betty’s doorstep, dreaming of a big dramatic reunion, as Swift rhymes “standing in your cardigan” with “kissing in my car again.”

So, that’s the basic plot — a love triangle worthy of Degrassi: The Next Generation . But there are still more questions to explore.

Why Are People Saying the Story Is ‘Queer Canon’?

This one’s easy to explain. Due to a conspicuous lack of male pronouns in the lyrics, plus the fact that Swift’s friend Blake Lively has daughters named James, Betty, and Inez, many fans have speculated that the James here is actually a girl, thus making these three songs the story of a lesbian love triangle . However, if you want to believe James is a guy, there’s evidence for that too: In “cardigan,” Betty remembers James “leaving like a father” and compares their breakup to “Peter losing Wendy” in Peter Pan . Ultimately, it works either way .

What Happened After James Showed Up at Betty’s Door?

Both “cardigan” and “betty” end with one big question unresolved: Did Betty take James back? I’m inclined to say no. There’s a small hint in the lyrics — Betty says that James “tried to change the ending,” tried being the operative word. It didn’t work; the ending was what it was. The music also points in that direction. Listen to the two songs casually, and you would not think they had much to do with each other, in tune or in tone. “Cardigan” is somber, contemplative, melancholy; “Betty” is a propulsive, major-chord jam. The gap is duplicated in the narrators’ worldviews: Betty is someone who notices everything, even unpleasant truths; James is someone who’s so good at lying that they can’t pick up that they’re lying to themselves. Consider too that our narrators are speaking to us from two different time periods. In everything that matters, these people are very far apart from each other. And there’s something about the way Swift sings “I knew you’d come back to me” in “cardigan” that pricks at my ears. It’s not triumphant; it’s a little sad, like she’s disappointed James lived up to her worst estimations.

When and Where Is All This Supposed to Be Taking Place?

Oddly enough, “cardigan” seems to be taking place in a slightly different universe from the other two. In “betty” and “august,” everyone’s in high school. There’s a homeroom, a school dance, and James is canonically 17 years old. The location feels suburban: James skateboards past Betty’s house, Una dreams of meeting behind a mall, and a lot of the action centers around cars. The first line of “august” mentions “salt air,” so we’re probably by the beach . But in “cardigan,” everyone feels slightly older. Betty reminisces about kissing in “downtown bars,” and the lyrics reference tattoos, the smell of cigarette smoke, and feminist literature. (Not that high-schoolers never do that kind of stuff, but collectively the tropes feel more early-20s.) And we seem to have moved to New York City : Besides the bars, there are “high heels on cobblestones,” and the High Line gets a shout-out.

How do we square this? If you’re the literal type, you can imagine these are three very advanced teenagers who live in Connecticut or New Jersey and take frequent trips into Manhattan. You could also take it as a sign that Betty and James did get back together, their tumultuous relationship spanning past high school and into early adulthood. I prefer to think that Swift’s employing a more impressionistic approach. “August” and “betty” are mentally caught up in that teenage moment, so their stories are set in the suburbs, where Swift grew up. “Cardigan” is a grown woman looking back on her younger self, so it takes place in the city that, for its author, symbolizes independence and maturity. (Fans have noticed that the succession of images in the track’s opening stanza mirrors Swift’s own aesthetics in her earlier album eras.) It’s her fantasy — she can write what she wants to.

• close reads
• taylor swift

Most Viewed Stories

• Cinematrix No. 156: August 29, 2024
• The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Premiere Recap: Sauron Unmasked
• A Breakdown of Armie Hammer Allegations, Controversies, and Time-share Drama
• This Is Not Angelina Jolie’s Big Comeback
• 27 Books We Can’t Wait to Read This Fall

Editor’s Picks

Most Popular

What is your email.

This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.

Sign In To Continue Reading

Create your free account.

Password must be at least 8 characters and contain:

• Lower case letters (a-z)
• Upper case letters (A-Z)
• Numbers (0-9)
• Special Characters (!@#$%^&*)

As part of your account, you’ll receive occasional updates and offers from New York , which you can opt out of anytime.

","","","","

How To Write A Love Triangle (Without Being Crucified By Your Readers)

Ah, the love triangle. Otherwise known as a highly overused plot device for romantic fiction that pretty much every reader is fed up with. But is there a way to write a love triangle without being crucified by your readers?

I believe there is a way. And in honor of Valentine’s Day, that’s what today’s post is going to be all about: WRITING AN (ACTUALLY GOOD) LOVE TRIANGLE. We’ve talked about other romance tropes in the past, like insta-love and hate-to-love , but now it’s time to tackle the big one.

The reason why most love triangles are annoying and boring is because they don’t dig into the characters’ internal conflict . Everything’s so surface-level and stagnant, we can predict what will happen from page 1. Who wants to read a book like that? Not me, bro.

So is there a way to make this plot device actually…interesting? Is there a way to revolutionize the idea of the love triangle and bring fresh life to it? YES. I believe there is. And it starts with first knowing what not to do with a love triangle.

Don’t make your love triangle simple

This pretty much applies to any type of storytelling. If the external event in your story isn’t going to challenge the characters, make them confront their fears, and ultimately upend their entire lives, it isn’t going to hold the reader’s attention for very long. Note: I don’t mean that some EPIC CRAZY THING needs to happen to your protagonist. On the contrary! Even a seemingly small thing can drastically push a person outside their comfort zone.

The reason why we hate most love triangles is because they’re just so…shallow. 99% of the time, the “conflict” begins and ends with: “which one will I choose?” (Not to mention the fact that the reader knows from page 1 which one she will choose.)

Not only is this highly overdone, it’s completely void of that electricity that lights up a story — the internal conflict. AKA: the protagonist being forced to confront their greatest fear, crush their misbelief about the world, and achieve the thing that will ultimately make them happy — all while developing as a character and delivering a powerful message to the reader.

So, in light of that…

Let your love triangle bring out the internal conflict of your characters

Ultimately, every single external thing in your book should be doing this. If something happens, the reader has to know why it matters to the characters. If I can’t see why it matters to the characters, I won’t see why it matters to me.

Here’s the thing: you can use ANY plot device (no matter how cliché it is) in your story if it directly engages with your protagonist’s inner conflict and contributes in bringing them to the depths of despair they will find themselves in before their “aha” moment (the moment that brings their character development full-circle.)

That’s right — any plot device. If the external events in your story are constantly forcing your protagonist closer to their internal issue, they are doing their job and doing it well. And don’t stop at the protagonist! Bring every character’s inner conflict  into this mess. How does this love triangle force all three people to either confront or run from their fears?

Make the love triangle a catch-22 for your protagonist

Let’s face it: the only intriguing thing about a love triangle is that it’s a sticky situation for anyone to deal with. If any reader gets even a little bit of enjoyment out of this trope, it’s because we can put ourselves in the shoes of the protagonist and experience a situation that will likely never happen to us in real life.

A good love triangle is a catch-22 situation for the protagonist. They can’t have it both ways, however much they might like to. They have to make a choice, and hopefully the right one. But the choice can’t be as lifeless and dull as “what girl/guy do I want more??” NO NO NO. It goes much deeper than that. It goes all the way to your protagonist’s deepest fear — which, consequentially, is most likely what got them into this “love triangle” situation in the first place.

That means your protagonist’s fear is going to be the only thing standing between them and True Happiness™. The love triangle has created conflict in Protagonist’s life — or rather, brought to light the real conflict that’s been boiling below the surface for a long time now.

OTHER HELPFUL ARTICLES ON WRITING:

• Video Series: How To Craft Relatable And Addictive Characters
• How to Write a Hate To Love Romance that Feels Natural, Believable, and Brilliant
• How to Include All That BACKSTORY in Your Novel (Without Boring Your Readers to Sleep)

Questions you should ask yourself before you write a love triangle

If you’re going to write a good love triangle, you need to ask yourself these questions and really think about the answers. It might take some time to come up with the answers — but trust me, it will be worth it. Not only will you have more clarity and confidence going into your story, but your readers will be so engrossed in the drama, they won’t even notice that you just revolutionized a highly-hated trope.

THE QUESTIONS:

• What is my protagonist’s inner conflict ? And how did it lead them into this love triangle?
• If they were being honest with themselves, the real reason they are stuck in this love triangle is because…
• How does this love triangle force all three people to face their fears?
• What would it take for the protagonist to overcome their fear and make the right choice?

ALL THIS TO SAY…yes. There is a “right way” to do love triangles, in my humble opinion. When you’re constantly drawing on the inner conflict of your protagonist, it’s impossible to not engage the reader.

I know I didn’t use a story example today, as I typically do — that’s because I haven’t seen many love triangles done well. SERIOUSLY. I can think of, like, two.* But that doesn’t mean you can’t write a good love triangle. I believe you can. I believe I can (and have lol…hopefully you like it when you read the book someday — even if you’re a professed love-triangle-hater.)

*the Ross/Elizabeth/Demelza triangle in Poldark and the Laura/Fisher/Daniel triangle in Lark Rise to Candleford. but since I don’t know many people who obsessively watch BBC Masterpiece, I’ll keep my fangirling to myself. :”)

Do you hate love triangles with a fiery passion? Has this post changed your mind about them, even just a little? Would you ever try writing a love triangle someday? Or have you already written one? What is a good example of a well done LT in fiction or film?

LOVE THIS POST? PIN IT!

Abbie Emmons

I teach writers how to make their stories matter by harnessing the power and psychology of storytelling, transforming their ideas into a masterpiece, and creating a lifestyle that makes their author dreams come true.

You may also like

How To Effectively CUT WORDS From Your Novel + When It’s Okay To Use “Weak Words”

How To Write Theme Into Your Story (Without Being Preachy)

Structure My Novel With Me (+ 3-Act Story Structure Template) #NaNoWriMo2019

To live for the hope of it all: the folklore love-triangle

Taylor’s surprise eighth studio album, folklore , dropped in July of 2020. That summer, her music gave us the imagery of cobblestones in the garden, clandestine meetings, sweet tea, ivy, and far off lands. She also used this album to present a number of both fictitious and biographical stories, including the one that touched the masses; that of a teenage love-triangle, the emotion and passion of adolescent feelings and forbidden romance.

This is that story, as pieced together from lyrics and the narrative provided from Taylor herself.

“betty” – written by Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn

We begin on the doorstep of a girl named Betty, where a 17 year old boy, James, begs for her forgiveness after making what has so far been the worst mistake of his life. Summer has ended, and at Betty’s back to school party, James shows up to explain what happened when he cheated on her with a mystery girl. This song is James’ final plea, using his immaturity as an excuse for what he did.

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said “James, get in, let’s drive” Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

Taylor performs “betty” at the ACMs

James and Betty went the school dance together, but he left early by himself. That’s when “she” pulled up right next to him. He spent the summer with this girl, and the rumors flew as they do in high school. Betty eventually hears from her friend Inez, and proceeds to react as anyone would after finding out they got cheated on.

In this song, James confirms it was true. He asks her if she’ll ever forgive him, or if she’ll ever believe him when he tells her it was just a summer thing. He tries to convince her that despite all the time he spent with this other girl, he dreamt of Betty the whole time. His point, “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything, But I know I miss you”.

Taylor went into detail on country radio, “[James] has lost the love of his life, basically, and doesn’t understand how to get it back.” She said using one of the songs to tell it from the teenage boy’s point of view was a way connect to everyone’s individual perspective. “I think we all have these situations in our lives where we learn to really, really give a heartfelt apology for the first time. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody really messes up sometimes..”

This song means a lot to me. To hear something from the person who is at fault in the situation is a game changer in terms of storytelling. The song swells with pure confession and romantic country twang, it seems genuine. However, we don’t get to hear Betty’s response.. or so we thought.

cardigan – written by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

Taylor explains in Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions that “‘cardigan’ is Betty’s perspective from 20 to 30 years later looking back on this love that was this tumultuous thing.” This reveals that the most heart-wrenching and well written song on this album, about lessons learned and longing sadness, is Betty’s reflection on her relationship.

“cardigan” music video

We learn that James’ efforts worked, and that night he stood on her doorstep begging for forgiveness, she forgave him. “In my head, I think Betty and James ended up together, right? In my head, she ends up with him, but he really put her through it.”, Taylor said. However, although she forgave James, she clearly never forgave herself, nor did she forget.

I could go on for hours, reflecting on each and every lyric of this song and what it means to this character and to myself, but I’ll just choose a few of my favorites.

This is my favorite part. Everyone knows what it’s like to sit beside your phone, constantly checking for the phone call or text. For that ounce of attention from the person you like. And when you finally get that halfhearted acknowledgement, it’s somehow enough to keep you going. To cancel plans in hopes of having others. SHE LOVED HIM!!! This poor girl cared for James and simply wished he cared for her too.

Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions on Disney+

Although “cardigan” is probably the most well written and poetic song from folklore , “august” did the most for me. It showed me to look at the bigger picture in every situation, to look at it from everyone’s point of view.

This is the kind of music analysis I could spend hours reading! You did an amazing job of going in-depth and relating it to your own personal thoughts and emotions. This trio of songs also reminded me that everyone sees things differently, and the same situation could conjure different feelings.

I really loved your analysis and how you see these connected songs. Your retelling was really engaging!

Hello! This was a beautifully written blog post of the analysis of the Folklore Love Triangle. I have only been a fan of Taylor Swift for a little over a year now, so I’m a tad bit late to knowing and understanding all of the stories within her songwriting. As for the Folklore Love Triangle, I have heard bits and pieces of the songs connected, but I never understood or heard how there were intertwined. Your deep dive analysis of the Folklore Love Triangle is simple to understand and made my perspective of those three songs change. Originally, I I saw James as the “good guy” who just wanted forgiveness over a mistake he had made and how the thought and intentions behind his actions mean more than what he had done. After reading your analysis on Cardigan and August, I’ve realized that regardless of his intention or thought process after the fact, he had hurt more than one person. The hurt that Betty and Augusta/Augustine were feeling is beyond comparable to the hurt James must have felt. I think it is important to make note of the fact that both girls believed that he had loved them, and how James was never clear with either girls until the end of who he “truly loved.” Overall, the Folklore Love Triangle is a triad of beautiful and poetically written songs that thousands of fans can relate to or emotionally understand in some way, and for that it is some of Taylor Swift’s best written pieces of music.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Love Triangles Explained: Decoding the Drama of Love Triangles in Romance Novels

Updated: Jun 7

Ah, the love triangle—the ultimate rollercoaster of emotions in the realm of romance literature. Is there any trope more tantalizing, more tumultuous, and more talked about?

In the vast tapestry of romance literature, few tropes elicit as much fervent discussion and passionate debate as the love triangle. It's a narrative device that has captured the imaginations of readers for generations, weaving a web of intrigue, emotion, and desire that keeps us eagerly turning pages late into the night.

But why is it that love triangles hold such a powerful allure? Is it the magnetic pull of forbidden love? The tantalizing uncertainty of who will ultimately win the protagonist's heart? Or perhaps it's the opportunity to explore the depths of human emotion and desire through the lens of fictional characters.

In this blog post, we're diving headfirst into the heart of this beloved (and sometimes controversial) storytelling device. From exploring the inner workings of love triangles to dissecting their popularity and real-life parallels, we'll unravel the complexities of this timeless trope that has left an indelible mark on romance literature.

So, grab your favorite romance novel, settle into a cozy spot, and join us as we embark on a journey to decode the drama of love triangles in romance novels.

What is the love triangle trope?

Imagine a delicate dance of affection, where not one, but two suitors vie for the affections of our protagonist. The love triangle trope, as the name suggests, revolves around a romantic entanglement between three characters, often leading to a tumultuous journey of self-discovery, heartache, and, of course, passion.

Are love triangles bad?

Some readers adore the delicious tension and emotional depth that love triangles bring to a story, while others find them frustrating or predictable. However, whether love triangles are "bad" ultimately depends on personal preference and how skillfully they are executed within the narrative.

How do love triangles work?

Love triangles typically unfold as the protagonist finds herself torn between two equally compelling love interests. Each suitor offers different qualities, sparking intense chemistry and emotional conflicts. The tension mounts as the protagonist must navigate her feelings and make a choice that will ultimately shape her romantic destiny.

Why are love triangles so popular?

Love triangles tap into a primal aspect of human nature—the desire for connection and the complexity of romantic relationships. They offer a compelling mix of passion, uncertainty, and emotional stakes that keep readers eagerly turning pages. Additionally, love triangles allow for exploration of character dynamics and growth as the protagonist navigates her romantic dilemma.

Do love triangles happen in real life?

They certainly do! While love triangles may seem like a product of fiction, the complexities of romantic relationships in real life can sometimes mirror these dramatic entanglements. Human emotions are messy and unpredictable, and love triangles, albeit perhaps less dramatic, can indeed occur.

How do love triangles end?

In the world of romance novels, love triangles often culminate in a resolution where the protagonist makes a definitive choice between her suitors. This decision can lead to heartbreak for one character and fulfillment for another, ultimately paving the way for a satisfying conclusion.

Love Triangles in Popular New Adult Romantasy and Young Adult Romance Books

Now, let's explore some captivating examples of New Adult Fantasy and Young Adult Fantasy books that skillfully weave the love triangle trope into their narratives. Each of these books masterfully weaves the love triangle trope into the story, adding layers of tension, emotion, and depth to the storylines and characters. Whether you're drawn to epic fantasy battles, dystopian romance, or Victorian-era intrigue, these captivating tales are sure to keep you spellbound until the very last page.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

First up is Throne of Glass .  In this epic fantasy series, readers are introduced to Celaena Sardothien, an infamous assassin with a complicated past. As Celaena navigates a dangerous world of politics, magic, and intrigue, she finds herself entangled in a gripping love triangle.

On one hand, there's the dashing Captain of the Guard, Chaol Westfall, whose loyalty and strength captivate her. On the other, there's the enigmatic Fae Prince, Dorian Havilliard, whose charm and hidden depths draw her in. As Celaena's feelings for both men deepen, she must confront her own desires and make a choice that will shape not only her destiny but the fate of the kingdom.

"I claim you, too, Aelin Galathynius," he whispered. "I claim you as my friend."

Inception by Bianca Scardoni

Inception follows Jemma Blackburn in an urban a spellbinding paranormal romance series. She's just your average high school kid until she's thrust into a world of vampires, magic, and danger. As Jemma navigates the treacherous politics of this new dark world she's discovered, she finds herself caught in a mesmerizing love triangle.

On one side, there's Tracy, the brooding good guy who's supposed be her guardian (long story here) but is fighting his duty every step of the way. On the other, there's Dominic, the seductive older guy that every girl wants but has eyes only for Jemma. As tensions rise, secrets unveiled, and loyalties are tested, Jemma must confront herself and decide where her heart truly lies.

" The butterflies began waltzing in my belly again, this time to the sweet melody of his words. Words that were meant for me. "

The Selection by Kiera Cass

The Selection is a YA romance set in a dystopian society where a lottery determines who will compete for the heart of a prince. The book follows America Singer as she navigates a whirlwind of romance, intrigue, and betrayal. Caught between her duty to her family and her growing feelings for two very different suitors, America finds herself in the midst of a captivating love triangle.

On one side, there's Prince Maxon, whose genuine kindness and dedication to his kingdom stir unexpected emotions in America. On the other, there's Aspen, America's childhood sweetheart and a member of the lower caste, whose presence ignites long-buried passions. As America grapples with her conflicting emotions, she must navigate the complexities of love and duty in a world on the brink of revolution.

"Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyway."

The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare

Set in Victorian London, this captivating series follows Tessa Gray as she discovers a world of demons, Shadowhunters, and dark magic. Amidst the danger and intrigue, Tessa finds herself torn between two Shadowhunters, Will Herondale and Jem Carstairs, in a heart-wrenching love triangle. On one side, there's Will, whose sharp wit and brooding demeanor conceal a painful past and a fierce loyalty to those he loves. On the other, there's Jem, whose kindness and compassion offer Tessa solace in a world of darkness. As Tessa's feelings for both men deepen, she must confront the secrets of her own identity and the truth about her heart's desires.

"I am catastrophically in love with you."

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

In this mesmerizing fantasy series, readers are transported to the magical world of Ravka, where darkness threatens to consume everything in its path. Amidst the chaos, we follow Alina Starkov, a young soldier with a hidden power that could save her country from destruction. As Alina navigates the dangers of her newfound abilities, she finds herself torn between two men who represent different paths and possibilities. On one side, there's Mal, her childhood friend and fellow soldier, whose unwavering loyalty and deep connection to Alina offer comfort and stability. On the other, there's the Darkling, a powerful Grisha whose seductive charm and promises of power tempt Alina to embrace a darker path. As Alina grapples with her own destiny and the choices before her, she must confront the truth about love, sacrifice, and the darkness that lies within us all.

"I've been waiting for you a long time, Alina. You and I are going to change the world."

Dissent by Josephine Lamont

Set in a dystopian future of the USA, this pulse-pounding series follows Mara de la Puente as she discovers the world she thought to be true is nothing but a lie. Kidnapped by Dissenters, Mara is thrown into danger and intrigue, finding herself torn between two rebels vying for her heart. On one side, there's Wes Calvernon, whose tough exterior and brooding demeanor conceals a painful past and a fiercely loyalty to those he loves. On the other, there's Matias Alvarez, whose kindness and compassion offer Mara a sense of safety in a world of lies and deceit. As Mara's feelings for both men deepen, she must confront the secrets of her own identity and the truth about her family.

"I will always come back for you."

There's No Debate— You Gotta Love a Love Triangle

Love triangles may provoke heated debates among readers, but there's no denying their

enduring allure in the world of romance literature. So, whether you're team #TeamA , #TeamB , or rooting for a surprise contender, one thing's for certain—love triangles are here to stay, keeping us captivated and craving more with each turn of the page.

Did you like this article? Are you ready to embark on an enchanting journey through captivating worlds filled with romance, magic, and thrilling adventures? Look no further! Join my exclusive newsletter community and unlock a treasure trove of fantastical tales that will sweep you off your feet and leave you longing for more.

As a subscriber, you'll gain behind-the-scenes access to exclusive content, including author interviews, sneak peeks, and special giveaways that you won't find anywhere else. Plus, receive personalized recommendations based on your favorite tropes and genres, ensuring that every book you read is a magical adventure waiting to unfold.

So, what are you waiting for? Don't miss out on the chance to join a community of fellow book lovers who share your passion for romance, adventure, and the endless possibilities of the imagination. Sign up for my newsletter today and let the journey begin!

• Things I Love

Recent Posts

Fourth Wing Book Review: A spicy Fantasy of Love and Rebellion for New Adult romance Fans

Exploring Found Family and Sibling Love: Enduring Tropes in Popular YA and New Adult Books

Crack the Code of Love: Are Love Languages Real?

Writing a Love Triangle: Really Useful Links by Lucy O’Callaghan

Lucy O’Callaghan

• 7 April 2022

A love triangle story plot has everything needed for an engrossing story. There are characters, conflict, and resolution; the three things that will hook your readers in. However, love triangles can very easily become predictable and cliched. I have put together some articles, podcasts, and YouTube videos that share some great tips and advice to take on board when writing love triangles.

• https://www.savannahgilbo.com/blog/love-triangles

Love triangles are wonderful plot devices and can have beautiful, moving results when done effectively. Savannah shares some famous love triangles from well-known literature and gives the writer ten tips to consider when writing a love triangle. These include making both suitors a viable choice for the protagonist, fully developing all three characters involved, and establishing what’s at stake with either outcome. She also tells us that it is important not to neglect the rest of your story for the sake of your love triangle.

• https://storygrid.com/love-triangles/

Story Grid tells us that while fans of the romance genre appreciate well-written love triangles, it is important to avoid being labelled as ‘predictable’ or ‘cliched’. This article shares tips such as you don’t have to start both relationships at the same time, exploring the different types of conflict within the love triangle, and knowing where your love triangle fits in with your story. Each love triangle will carry a certain weight to the story, and there has to be a reason for including it in your novel.

• https://www.standoutbooks.com/love-triangles/

Readers love conflict and resolution and love triangles provide the perfect frame for these. Love triangles are timeless and fit into most genres. This article advises the writer to focus on the conflict, believability, resolution, unpredictability, novelty and depth, as these are the building blocks for any great love triangle.

• https://www.abbiee.com/2019/02/writing-love-triangles/

The reason why most love triangles are annoying and boring is because they don’t dig into the character’s internal conflict. Don’t make your love triangle simple; challenge your characters, make them confront their fears and upend their entire lives. Abbie says that you should make your love triangle a catch 22 for your protagonist. It should go all the way to your protagonist’s deepest fear, which consequently is most likely what got them into this love triangle situation in the first place. The love triangle should bring to light the real conflict that’s been boiling below the surface for a long time.

• https://www.wonderforest.net/blog-feed/how-to-write-love-triangles-the-right-way

Wonder Forest tells the writer not to make your love triangle simple, allow it to bring out the internal conflict. Ask yourself 5 questions including what is the protagonist’s inner conflict and how did it lead them into this love triangle, how high are the stakes and how hot is the fire beneath the protagonist’s feet to make a decision, and how does this love triangle cause all 3 characters to face their fears?

• https://goteenwriters.com/2014/04/11/10-ways-to-deal-with-the-love-triangle-in-your-book/

This article gives you some ideas to do something different with your love triangle. Shooting someone, having the liar lose, someone giving up, or the hero picking neither are all suggested.

https://writingrootspodcast.com/2020/02/s7e4-love-triangles/

Love triangles are one of the most common tropes across all genres. They are often central to many YA and romance books but are also found in subplots of fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, and action novels. This podcast talks about how to use a love triangle effectively and leave your reader satisfied with the resolution.

In this video from Writer’s Block, they discuss different types of love triangles: the equilateral, the decoy, imaginary love triangle, real love triangle, and the two-person love triangle.

Phoebe talks you through 4 tips for writing an interesting and compelling love triangle.

Love triangles are great plot devices and by using these tips and advice you have the opportunity to create a compelling, swoon-worthy love triangle that readers will adore. I hope this week’s column has been useful for you. If you have any topics you would like me to cover then please get in touch.

(c) Lucy O’Callaghan

Instagram: lucy.ocallaghan.31.

Facebook: @LucyCOCallaghan

Twitter: @LucyCOCallaghan

About the author

Writing since she was a child, Lucy penned her first story with her father called Arthur’s Arm, at the ripe old age of eight. She has been writing ever since. Inspired by her father’s love of the written word and her mother’s encouragement through a constant supply of wonderful stationary, she wrote short stories for her young children, which they subsequently illustrated. A self-confessed people watcher, stories that happen to real people have always fascinated her and this motivated her move to writing contemporary women’s fiction. Her writing has been described as pacy, human, moving and very real. Lucy has been part of a local writing group for over ten years and has taken creative writing classes with Paul McVeigh, Jamie O’Connell and Curtis Brown Creative. She truly found her tribe when she joined Writer’s Ink in May 2020. Experienced in beta reading and critiquing, she is currently editing and polishing her debut novel. Follow her on Instagram: lucy.ocallaghan.31. Facebook and Twitter: @LucyCOCallaghan

Subscribe to our newsletter

Get all of the latest from writing.ie delivered directly to your inbox., featured books.

Your complete online writing magazine.

Guest blogs, courses & events.

• Science & Math
• Sociology & Philosophy
• Law & Politics

Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”: Theme of Love

• Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”: Theme of…

In the play “Twelfth Night,” Shakespeare explores and illustrates the emotion of love with precise detail. According to “Webster’s New World Dictionary,” love is defined as “a strong affection or liking for someone.” Throughout the play, Shakespeare examines three different types of love: true love, self-love and friendship.

“Twelfth Night” consists of many love triangles, however many of the characters who are tangled up in the web of love are blind to see that their emotions and feelings toward other characters are untrue. They are being deceived by themselves and/or the others around them.

There are certain instances in the play where the emotion of love is true, and the two people involved feel very strongly toward one another. Viola’s love for Orsino is a great example of true love. Although she is pretending to be a man and is virtually unknown in Illyria, she hopes to win the Duke’s heart. In act 1, scene 4, Viola lets out her true feelings for Cesario, “yet a barful strife! Whoe’er I woo, myself would be his wife (1).”

That statement becomes true when Viola reveals her true identity. Viola and Orsino had a very good friendship, and making the switch to husband and wife was easy. Viola was caught up in another true love scenario, only this time she was on the receiving end, and things didn’t work out so smoothly. During her attempts to court Olivia for Orsino, Olivia grew to love Cesario. Viola was now caught in a terrible situation and there was only one way out, but that would jeopardize her chances with Orsino.

It’s amazing that Olivia could fall for a woman dressed as a man, but because Viola knew what women like to hear, her words won Olivia’s heart. The next case of true love is on a less intimate and romantic scale, and more family-oriented. Viola and Sebastian’s love for one another is a bond felt by all siblings. Through their times of sorrow and mourning for each of their apparent deaths they still loved each other. They believed deep down that maybe in some way or by some miracle that each of them was still alive and well.

Many people, even in today’s society, love themselves more than anything else. “Twelfth Night” addresses the issue of self-love and how it affects peoples’ lives. Malvolio is the easiest to identify with the problem of self-love. He sees himself as a handsome and nobleman.

Malvolio believes many women would love to be with him. He likes to see things one way only, and he deceives himself just to suit his outlook on the situation. For example, in the play, he twists Olivia’s words around to make it sound like she admires his yellow cross-gartered stockings when she really despises them. Both Sir Toby and Olivia show signs of self-love but it is not as big an issue. Sir Toby only cares about himself and no one else, not even his friends.

He ignores Maria’s warnings about drinking into the night, and he continues to push Sir Andrew to court Olivia. Although he believes Sir Andrew doesn’t have a chance. Olivia cares about the people around her, but she also believes that no man is worthy of her beauty. She thinks she is “all that,” and that no one can match her.

Friendship is the third type of love expressed in “Twelfth Night.” The biggest and closest friendship would have to be between Orsino and Cesario. They barely knew each other at first, and before long Orsino was telling Cesario his inner love for Olivia. He even had Cesario running his love messages to Olivia.

The second friendship between Viola and the Sea Captain was not mentioned a lot, but they had a very deep bond between one them. They survived the shipwreck together and the Sea Captain promised to keep Viola’s idea about pretending to be a man a secret. If he had opened his mouth the entire play would have changed.

The third friendship, and definitely the strangest, is between Sir Toby and Sir Andrew Aguecheek. They are close friends but sometimes Sir Toby doesn’t show it. He sets Sir Andrew up and likes to get him into trouble. An example is persuading Sir Andrew to challenge Cesario to a dual, even though he is not a great swordsman and is unaware of Cesario’s ability. On the other hand, Sir Andrew appreciates Sir Toby’s company because he always lifts his spirits and makes him feel like a true knight.

Love plays a major role in “Twelfth Night,” and Shakespeare addresses true love, self-love, and friendship in a very compelling and interesting way. Love is great to read about because everyone deserves a little love. “Twelfth Night” is the true definition of love, and Shakespeare does a great job of explaining a somewhat difficult topic.

Related Posts

• Hermann Hesse Narcissus and Goldmund: "Love" Theme
• Twelfth Night: Malvolio Character Analysis
• Merchant of Venice Act II: Theme of Love
• Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: Act I-V Summaries
• Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: Deception & Disguises

How does Shakespeare explore the theme of Love in Twelfth Night?

thank you, this was really helpful

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Post comment

24/7 writing help on your phone

To install StudyMoose App tap and then “Add to Home Screen”

The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle

Save to my list

Remove from my list

The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle. (2021, Mar 25). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay

"The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle." StudyMoose , 25 Mar 2021, https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay

StudyMoose. (2021). The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle . [Online]. Available at: https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay [Accessed: 30 Aug. 2024]

"The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle." StudyMoose, Mar 25, 2021. Accessed August 30, 2024. https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay

"The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle," StudyMoose , 25-Mar-2021. [Online]. Available: https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay. [Accessed: 30-Aug-2024]

StudyMoose. (2021). The Great Gatsby: The Love Triangle . [Online]. Available at: https://studymoose.com/the-great-gatsby-the-love-triangle-essay [Accessed: 30-Aug-2024]

• The Reunion of Gatsby and Daisy in Chapter 5 of "The Great Gatsby" Pages: 4 (1029 words)
• The Great Gatsby: Reasoning Behind Jay Gatsby's Hidden Identity Pages: 3 (723 words)
• The Bermuda Triangle Pages: 7 (1854 words)
• The semiotic triangle in design Pages: 7 (2033 words)
• The Iron Triangle: An Analysis of Policy Making Relationships Pages: 2 (599 words)
• The Rhetorical Triangle: A Blueprint for Effective Communication Pages: 2 (523 words)
• The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Disaster: A Catalyst for Change Pages: 3 (811 words)
• Risk Assessment Framework According to "The Fraud Triangle Theory" Pages: 2 (477 words)
• "The Great Gatsby" and Its Fatal Flaw of Love Pages: 2 (497 words)
• Love and its Deadly Corruptors in " The Great Gatsby" Pages: 6 (1651 words)

👋 Hi! I’m your smart assistant Amy!

Don’t know where to start? Type your requirements and I’ll connect you to an academic expert within 3 minutes.

We need your support today

Independent journalism is more important than ever. Vox is here to explain this unprecedented election cycle and help you understand the larger stakes. We will break down where the candidates stand on major issues, from economic policy to immigration, foreign policy, criminal justice, and abortion. We’ll answer your biggest questions, and we’ll explain what matters — and why. This timely and essential task, however, is expensive to produce.

We rely on readers like you to fund our journalism. Will you support our work and become a Vox Member today?

The enduring allure of a good love triangle

How love triangles capture our hearts and our attention.

by Nylah Iqbal Muhammad

Jenny Han’s young adult trilogy The Summer I Turned Pretty, and its Amazon Prime TV show adaptation, depicts a classic love triangle, with a few notable twists. Teen protagonist Belly (Lola Tung) is caught between the love of two brothers, Conrad (Christopher Briney) and Jeremiah (Gavin Casalegno). In season one, Belly was deeply in love with the quiet, brooding Conrad: the ultimate symbol of the unavailable boy you just have to have. Because Conrad was reticent about his feelings, Belly ended up making out with his brother Jeremiah — a bubbly, blond, Abercrombie model-esque boy next door whose affection came more easily.

I’m a huge fan of love triangles, but even I have to admit that The Summer I Turned Pretty is a little ... intense. All this romantic turmoil happens while the boys’ mom, Susannah (Rachel Blanchard), is dying of cancer. Add to that Belly’s mother, Laurel (Jackie Chung), is best friends with Susannah. They raised their children together as fictive kin, and it makes the whole thing feel slightly incestuous. Still, while it gives me a tummy ache, that tension and taboo is partly why this series is so beloved and why viewers are locked in. As viewers and readers of romance, many of us are drawn to love triangles more than any other trope.

For writers and showrunners, there’s a clear financial benefit in feeding our hunger for love triangles. It’s more likely to lead to more books, TV seasons, and movies, and it increases reader/audience engagement. This is what Ethan Calof, PhD candidate in English and Comparative Media Analysis and Practice at Vanderbilt University, calls “social community formation.”

“If you’re drawing out a tense, emotional love triangle plot through multiple books, it strengthens community formation by encouraging readers to join teams for a ship war. And ship wars are not an accidental happenstance,” they say, citing Twilight and how Team Edward and Team Jacob generated countless fanfiction and merchandise opportunities. (Remember Nordstrom’s Twilight clothing line ?) Even in The Summer I Turned Pretty , the fourth wall is broken a bit when Belly’s brother Steven (Sean Kaufman) and her best friend Taylor (Rain Spencer) argue about whether they’re Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah, echoing online fan defenses of the respective love interests.

Calof says that literary binaries and tropes provide readers with “a sense of comfort, a clear debate to weigh in on, and a digestible sense of conflict that keeps a story propelling forward.” They explain, “Joining a broader team is just a manifestation of this instinct — the comfort of being part of a large group, and an exploration that deepens as each sequel is published.” So that callout to the fandom, while a bit ham-fisted, was purposely meant to continue the lucrative communities that can build around love triangles.

Despite how this shows up in the digital age, love triangles are a centuries-old obsession. “When reading a love triangle plot through a monogamous lens, each potential partner represents an aspect of the protagonist’s personality, or a moral choice, or one side of a binary,” Calof says. “Most of Jane Austen’s novels feature a female protagonist choosing between two or more men, one virtuous and one immoral, with her protagonists eventually choosing the virtuous side and resolving a moral dilemma,” they point out. “Anne Elliot from Persuasion chooses the clever but less pedigreed Wentworth over her manipulative cousin William, Elizabeth Bennett chooses the shy and wealthy Mr. Darcy over the charming adulterer Mr. Wickham, Emma chooses the honest Mr. Knightley over the shallow Frank Churchill.”

Love triangles are hyper-focused on the act of choosing, the ebb and flow of affection and attraction

Despite our love of building community around uniting behind one love interest or the next, or our general consensus that one love interest is superior — no one likes Wickham over Darcy — some might say that our interest in love triangles might point to a wider cultural desire to explore polyamory. While I don’t doubt that many are curious about exploring options outside of the dominant form of monogamous relationships, I disagree that the classic love triangle is a good example of this. For the most part, love triangles are the antithesis of what most people say polyamory is intended to be about: loving multiple people equally and simultaneously. In contrast to this definition of polyamory, love triangles are hyper-focused on the act of choosing, the ebb and flow of affection and attraction. Aimée Lutkin, an entertainment writer for Elle magazine and author of The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search for Love Is Broken , says, “There’s still a real monogamous bent within these love triangles. They have to choose one. It’s very rarely that the ending is like, ‘Yeah, I’ll date both the brothers.’”

Many forms of polyamory are also centered around the idea that love shouldn’t be hierarchical. But the love triangle as a trope is about the constant battle for primacy. As one potential lover rises in esteem, the other falls. It’s either a roller coaster or a steady, depressing road trip of rejection for one party (Jacob from Twilight never stood a chance), not a stable and equal development of love for all involved. In fact, the person in the middle of the love triangle (in this case, Belly) usually doesn’t love both equally. One is usually a more comforting, safe love (ahem, we’re looking at you, Michael from Jane the Virgin ) and the other is their fated lover that their heart can’t live without, the OTP, or One True Pairing, like Joey and Pacey from Dawson’s Creek . And, spoiler alert, in this series, it’s so obviously Conrad. Keshav Kant, romance novel consultant and executive director of Off Colour, says that love triangles are reminiscent of “fake open relationships where you want to test the waters to see who else is out there because the one you got at home is starting to get a little stale.”

In other series too, the brooding older guy usually wins over the younger, more exuberant one, a pattern that might suggest that love triangles are often about leaving youth behind for adulthood. One notable exception is Outlander , where Claire rejects the love of her serious dark-haired academic husband Frank, going back in time to 18th-century Scotland and falling in love with the younger, red-haired, mischievous Jamie Fraser. In that case, Claire’s choice might reflect a desire for adventure and youth, and a rejection of the traditional trappings of adulthood and womanhood.

In this idea of choice, there are also lessons. Sometimes people get focused on one option, thinking that there is only one romantic partner for them. That obsession can be unhealthy, leading people to eschew others in favor of chasing someone who might not even be the best fit. That’s why dating around is healthy.

It’s the toxicity of the situation that makes a portion of the Summer I Turned Pretty fandom criticize Belly, often calling her selfish and narcissistic for pitting two brothers against each other during their mother’s terminal illness and even after their mother’s death. There’s an argument to be made that perhaps Belly and the boys are engaging in their own self-destructive tendencies.

Unsurprisingly, our attraction to love triangles isn’t always a wholly positive thing. “Love triangles can sometimes appeal to our narcissistic tendencies as they place us in the center of a conquest and divide strategy,” says Avigail Lev, psychotherapist and founder and director at the Bay Area CBT Center. Who can forget Jules’s selfish scheming in My Best Friend’s Wedding, where the well-being of everyone else took a back seat to her desire to get with Michael? “We become the focal point, the object of desire for two individuals who compete over our affection,” Lev says. “This dynamic can give us a sense of satisfaction, as if we have conquered something, triumphed over others.”

An interesting part of this love triangle is Conrad and Jeremiah’s deceased mom Susannah’s culpability (and by extension, the other two dads and Laurel’s, since none of them intervened). Susannah, who considered Belly a daughter, made it clear to Belly, from her childhood, that she knew Belly was “destined for one of her boys.” It’s an immense amount of pressure to put on a child, and I pointed out to Lutkin that it felt almost like incestuous grooming to me, since they were raised as cousins. Lutkin responded, “I’m glad you said the word ‘grooming’ because I was definitely not putting that word to it, but I was thinking about how manipulative it was of Susannah. ... It was incestuous and bizarre how Susannah was pushing this idea that she was gonna end up with one of the boys, especially so close to her death, which is obviously gonna be a stronger blow to Belly [if those relationships don’t work out].”

There’s also the added pressure of the beach house, an absurdly expensive home in coastal Massachusetts that Belly and Laurel have been constantly told by Susannah is their house too. Season two revolves around Belly, Conrad, and Jeremiah attempting to save the house as Susannah’s older half-sister Julia (Kyra Sedgwick) attempts to sell it. But crucially, even if they save the home from being sold, unless Belly marries one of the boys, this home will never belong to her. It adds an unspoken layer of pressure that likely makes her hesitant to branch out outside of these two boys, because if she does, she’ll have to contend with another woman eventually being the head of a household that she was led to believe was hers her entire life. Through this lens, Belly’s choice to engage in this love triangle takes on a new dimension. If she chooses the wrong brother, she loses a major part of her identity and an inheritance that ethically should be partly hers.

The love triangle as a trope is about the constant battle for primacy. As one potential lover rises in esteem, the other falls.

Within that, there is insight into why the love triangle might appeal more to marginalized groups. “Generally people go to [the romance genre] to seek what they want or what they’ve been denied,” Kant says. “If you love ‘enemies to lovers,’ [you might] want someone who’s gonna love you even if they see you at your worst. If you love ‘friends to lovers,’ you are someone that wants comfort and security because maybe that’s been missing for you.” For traditional love triangles, she says what people are likely seeking is the feeling of being desired.

Due to desirability politics that usually (and falsely) spread the idea that people of color, trans people, disabled people, fat people, and people with mental illnesses are unworthy of being these sought-after objects of desire, it might feel validating for viewers to see protagonists — especially if they exist at one of these marginalizations — being desired by not just one, but two love interests. Part of why women of color enjoyed shows like Never Have I Ever , Jane the Virgin , and From Scratch is because they featured South Asian, Latinx, and Black women at the center of a love triangle — and therefore at the center of desire. After days of people sharing on Twitter about how common the trope of the “ disposable Black girlfriend ” is, it’s no wonder viewers are hungry for something different. The idea of choices can feel alluring and empowering for anyone, but especially for people who’ve been told their choices are limited or even nonexistent. Still, even though Belly is half-Korean, she doesn’t really exist at many other intersections of marginalization. It’s not lost on viewers that the center of a love triangle is still nondisabled, conventionally attractive, or light-skinned.

Readers of the trilogy like myself know how this love triangle is going to end, but viewers are waiting with bated breath to see the resolution in season three. And in the meantime, despite ourselves, we’re all drawn to the drama. As Lev says, “The drama surrounding a love triangle can be addictive, drawing us in and making us feel like active participants in the romantic turmoil. It evokes intense emotions, heightens the stakes, and adds excitement to our lives.”

My confession is this: There’s nothing I love more than a love triangle. I was raised on Joey/Pacey/Dawson, Elena/Stefan/Damon, and Bella/Edward/Jacob. I was #TeamRafael for every second of Jane the Virgin , and Kal Ho Naa Ho makes me cry every time. But even though love triangles can be useful sources of life lessons, they’re probably best left in fiction. In real life, they can make things hurtful and complicated. Date around, have lots of lovers, and be polyamorous if you’d like, but resist the urge to be the center of this kind of story.

Nylah Burton is an award-winning travel, entertainment, and lifestyle writer with bylines in New York Magazine, Travel + Leisure, and Vogue.

Editor’s note, July 31, 4:30 pm: Edited to remove spoilers about season two of The Summer I Turned Pretty .

Most Popular

• Georgia’s MAGA elections board is laying the groundwork for an actual stolen election
• Zelenskyy’s new plan to end the war, explained
• This ancient disease still kills 1 million people every year
• How is Kamala Harris getting away with this?
• Kids Today: Your guide to the confusing, exciting, and utterly new world of Gen Alpha

Today, Explained

Understand the world with a daily explainer plus the most compelling stories of the day.

This is the title for the native ad

More in Culture

How the once-maligned retailer quietly became a closet staple — and a stock market giant — once again.

My generation was taught to change the system. That lesson came at a cost.

The pods across the pond feel a lot less toxic.

The singer’s new album, Short n’ Sweet, is full of the sexy clown wordplay she’s known for.

Cocaine, UFC, politics, and the former president’s podcast bro tour, explained.

Kamala Harris was the main event, but fans, the internet, and the media fell for rumors of a Beyoncé concert.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

What is love? 

It’s the question that relationship therapists, psychologists, and songwriters all have on their minds. Love isn’t just one act, feeling, or state of mind. Love can be expressed or felt in many ways. It exists in friendships, partnerships, in families, and in marriages. Despite this one idea being at the center of stories, songs, crimes of passion, and political campaigns, it is hard to break down what love “is” and what makes a relationship a loving one. 

Robert Sternberg made an attempt to break down love with his triangular theory of love.

What Is the Triangular Theory of Love?

The Triangular Theory of Love does not suggest that all love exists within a perfect, equal triangle. As you will see, the different aspects of love may appear or not appear in a loving relationship. The idea of a triangle, says Sternberg, is merely a metaphor. 

Sternberg's theory attempts to explain what is present in love, how love can be defined, and how feelings of love may change or evolve over time. Ultimately, we all feel love differently, but this theory helps to narrow down the ways in which we approach and identify our love for another person. 

About Robert J. Sternberg

Robert J. Sternberg is an American psychologist and Professor of Human Development at Cornell University. He has written many books on the subjects of love and intelligence. His most famous theories on this subject all have one thing in common: the number three. In addition to his Triangular Theory of Love, Sternberg has written about the Triarchic theory of intelligence and The Three-Process View, which describes different forms of insight. 

Three Aspects of Love (aka Triangular Model of Love)

Let’s talk about these three aspects of love. These aspects may or may not appear in your romantic, platonic, or familial relationships. Sternberg believes that the three aspects of love are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. 

Intimacy does not necessarily refer to physical intimacy. In this definition, intimacy is more about closeness. If you feel a close connection to a friend, family member, or partner, you experience intimacy with them. This is a good, warm feeling that many of us seek in and outside of romance. 

Passion is the aspect that refers to more physical closeness. This is the drive that leads us to be physically attracted to someone and want to engage in sexual activity. But not all motivation or arousal has to be of a sexual nature for two people to experience passion. 

Last but not least is decision/commitment. When you enter into a relationship with someone, you may decide that you love them. You may feel a commitment to stick by that person and continue the relationship in the long-term. Not all relationships have decision and commitment. You may decide that you love someone, but not commit to spending your whole life loving them. You may decide that you are committed to having a relationship with someone, but you do not necessarily love them. 

Eight Types of Love 

We all experience relationships that have one, two, or all three of these different aspects of love. Not all of these aspects are felt in the same capacity, but they still influence the way that we treat the other person or label the relationship. 

Sternberg labeled eight different types of love based on which aspects exist within the relationship. 

If a relationship is devoid of intimacy, passion, or decision/commitment, Sternberg says the relationship is actually nonlove. One of these aspects must exist for a relationship to have love. 

Liking may not seem like love - intimacy is present to some degree, but passion and decision/commitment are not there. You may like your coworker and feel that you can trust them at work, but you may not feel any passion. You may not have decided that you love them either, and don’t want to commit to the relationship outside of work. 

Infatuated love occurs when passion is present, but intimacy or decision/commitment is not. You may meet someone at a bar and be instantly attracted to them, but you do not feel warmth or closeness. No decisions or commitments are made, either. 

Empty love occurs when decision/commitment is present, but intimacy or passion is not. Maybe you decide to say that you love an estranged family member, even though you have not felt any warmth from them in a long time. Couples who have been married for a long time, and are only saying together for the children, may experience periods of empty love. 

Romantic love occurs with the presence of intimacy and passion. Let’s say you start to get to know the person from the bar a little better. Your passion drives a desire to become more intimate with them, and the intimacy continues to stoke the flames of passion. Things start to get romantic! 

Companionate love occurs when intimacy and decision/commitment are present. This could be the relationship of two very good friends who feel close to each other and have committed to being best friends in the long term. They act as companions, rather than lovers.  

Fatuous love occurs when intimacy is missing, but passion and decision/commitment are present in the relationship. I’ll go back to the example of the person at the bar. Let’s say, instead of truly getting to know this person, you decide to follow your passion and elope to Vegas shortly after meeting each other. There is no real intimacy or sense of warmth in the relationship, but you’ve made a commitment and the passion is still there!

Finally, we come to consummate love, also known as complete love. If all three aspects of love are present in the relationship, congratulations! You have reached a complete love. 

Shapes May Change Over Time

The presence or absence of these three aspects is just one way to classify or describe a relationship. Within these descriptions is a lot of wiggle room. The amount of passion or satisfaction that you may experience in one romantic relationship may be different than the amount of passion that you experience in the previous romantic relationship. These aspects may also change over time. We have all seen, heard, or experienced a love story that started out as a friendship. Maybe you did not have the intention of turning companionate love into a passionate relationship - but once that passion enters the relationship, there’s no denying that the relationship and love have changed. 

Maintaining Relationships 

Aspects of love may also fade out over time. A couple experiencing complete love may find themselves engaging in sexual activity less and the passion dying out. They are still committed to each other and have a warmth that keeps them together, but temporarily (or permanently) they just don’t experience that arousal or motivation to be physically intimate. 

Dr. Sternberg says that while it can be easy to achieve complete love with someone, the real challenge comes when you have to maintain it. Couples who have been married for years know this to be true. Love is not just a feeling; Dr. Sternberg says that it’s a verb. You have to work and work to maintain the “spark” and the commitment to each other through different trials and tribulations. 

In addition to “triangles of feeling,” Sternberg says that love can be experienced in “triangles of action.” Be aware that these two triangles are very different. You may feel passionate toward someone, but if you are not acting upon that passion, that passion may not serve to increase the other two aspects of the relationship. 

Define What Is Best For You 

When does infatuated love become romantic love? When does romantic love become complete love? What will it take for you to maintain complete love with someone? The answer depends on you. You must be the one to define what kind of love you want to experience and how that love is expressed or felt. We all have different “love languages,” for example, that categorize the ways that we share love with others. For someone, words of affirmation may be a sure sign of intimacy or decision/commitment. For others, words of affirmation are not recognized in the way that acts of service or gifts are recognized. 

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love Today

When Reddit user CarsonF asked, "How much credence is still given to sternbergs triangular theory of love?" many users responded. One user said, "I can say, as a college level psychology teacher - It is still definitely taught in the textbook for introduction to psychology. Not sure about application in the lab or real world though." You can read the whole conversation here . 

How do you make your idea of love known to your friends, family, and partner(s)? Communicate! Get to know yourself. Talk to a therapist if you need to. This is a lifelong process that, like loving relationships, may change over time. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is a great place to start analyzing and reflecting on how you identify and maintain love in different types of relationships.

Related posts:

• Platonic Relationships (Definition + Examples)
• Dream Interpreter & Dictionary (270+ Meanings)
• Theory of Relationship Satisfaction
• 13 Signs That A Man Has Sexual Experience
• Intimacy vs Isolation: Psychosocial Stage 6

Reference this article:

About The Author

More Articles:

How to get a girl to like you

Psychology of Long Distance Relationships

Why do people cheat?

How to Be Funnier

Read Body Language

The HOTAPE Framework

Deal with a Breakup

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Crush

How to Set up a Date on Tinder

How To Asking a Girl Out

Push Pull Flirting

Wifey Material Checklist

382 Never Have I Ever Questions

268 Would You Rather Questions

Questions to Ask a Guy

Questions to Ask a Girl

Does She Like Me (Quiz)

Does He Like Me (Quiz)

Flirty Bet Ideas

PracticalPie.com is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Follow Us On:

Youtube Facebook Instagram X/Twitter

Psychology Resources

Developmental

Personality

Relationships

Psychologists

Serial Killers

Psychology Tests

Personality Quiz

Memory Test

Depression test

Type A/B Personality Test

© PracticalPsychology. All rights reserved

Privacy Policy | Terms of Use

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory and The 8 Types of Love

Eleanor Myers

Lab Manager at Duke University

Psychology Major at Princeton University

Eleanor Myers is a Princeton University psychology graduate.  At Princeton Eleanor studied language development as a research assistant in the Princeton Baby Lab. Eleanor is interested in how atypical child populations learn language, and how social cues and interactions can aid in language development. Eleanor currently works as a lab manager of the early childhood cognition lab at Duke University.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Saul McLeod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

On This Page:

Take-home Messages

• Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a theory that proposes three components of love, which combine in different ways to create eight kinds of love (Sternberg, 1986).
• The three components of love in the triangular theory of love are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment (Sternberg, 1986).
• According to Sternberg, these three components of love combine to create eight kinds of love: nonlove, liking, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love (Sternberg, 1986).

Robert Sternberg introduced his theory of love in a 1986 paper titled “A triangular theory of love” (Sternberg, 1986). This article will lay out the fundamental ideas of his theory discussed in this paper.

Three Components of Love

Within Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, he explains that there are three components of love:

• Intimacy : the closeness each partner feels to the other and the strength of the bond that binds them together. Partners high in intimacy like value and understand their partners.
• Passion : based on romantic feelings, physical attraction, and sexual intimacy with the partner.
• Decision/Commitment : represents cognitive factors such as acknowledging that one is in love and committed to maintaining the relationship.

According to Sternberg, these components are fundamental to what love is and interact in different ways to create various kinds of love (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg defines the intimacy component of love as “feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships,” including “those feelings that give rise, essentially, to the experience of warmth in a loving relationship” and “largely, but not exclusively, deriving from emotional investment in the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

The intimacy component of love typically remains stable over time, is somewhat able to be controlled, and people’s awareness of it tends to fluctuate, meaning that sometimes people are aware of these types of feelings towards others but sometimes they are not aware that they are experiencing intimate feelings (Sternberg, 1986).

The intimacy component plays a medium role in short-term relationships but plays a larger role in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This component of love also tends to cause a moderate psychophysiological response in people (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg defines the passion component of love as “the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships.” This includes “those sources of motivational and other forms of arousal that lead to the experience of passion in a loving relationship,” and it’s largely, although not exclusively, derived from “motivational involvement in the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

Aspects of the passion component of love are usually unstable and often change (Sternberg, 1986). People are usually not able to control whether or not these feelings are present in a relationship. Still, they tend to be aware of whether or not they are experiencing these types of feelings toward someone (Sternberg, 1986).

The passion component of love tends to have a large role in short-term relationships and only a medium role in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This component tends to cause a high psychophysiological response in people (Sternberg, 1986).

This psychophysiological response tends to be more short-term, as our bodies cannot sustain a heightened psychophysiological state for extended periods of time.

Decision/Commitment

Finally, Sternberg defines the decision/commitment component of love as “in the short term, the decision that one loves someone else, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love.”

Commitment includes “the cognitive elements that are involved in decision making about the existence of and potential long-term commitment to a loving relationship” and “deriving largely, although not exclusively, from cognitive decision in and commitment to the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

Like the intimacy component of love, the decision/commitment component also typically remains stable over time, and people’s awareness of it tends to fluctuate throughout time (Sternberg, 1986).

However, the decision/commitment component of love is more easily controlled than the intimacy component (Sternberg, 1986).

The decision/commitment component tends to play a very small part if any part, in short-term relationships and a large part in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This makes sense, as it would be difficult to continue a relationship for a significant period of time without some sort of subconscious commitment to that person and the relationship overall.

8 Types of Love

According to Sternberg (1986), the 3 components (intimacy, passion, commitment) are fundamental to what love is and interact in different ways to create 8 types of love.

Relationships can become unbalanced if there is too great an investment in one component rather than the others or if one component is missing, such as romantic love (missing commitment) or companionate love (missing passion).

According to the theory, “true” (i.e., consummate) love is achieved when all three components are achieved.

The first type of love that Sternberg introduces is nonlove, which is when none of the three components of love are present in a relationship (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, nonlove can be seen in the “casual interactions” in our everyday lives and actually “characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123).

These relationships and interactions contain a complete lack of love, as none of the components of love are involved. This makes sense, as people would not typically express any sort of feelings of love for any brief encounter in their lives.

Liking (also called friendship)

The second type of love that Sternberg introduces is liking, which is when the intimacy component of love is present in a relationship, but the passion and decision/commitment components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, liking involves feelings of “closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123).

Liking can be seen in the relationships in our lives that we refer to as friendships (Sternberg, 1986).

As we all know, friendships can exist at different levels, and according to Sternberg, if any other components of love are present in a friendship, then it is not considered liking but is considered a different kind of love (Sternberg, 1986).

Therefore, only friendships that lack the passion and decision/commitment components of love are considered to be the kind of love labeled as liking.

Infatuation

The third type of love that Sternberg introduces is infatuated love, which is when the passion component of love is present in a relationship, but the intimacy and decision/commitment components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg’s Fatuous Love is a type of love that combines Passion (physical and romantic attraction) and Commitment (decision to maintain the relationship) but lacks Intimacy (deep connection and understanding). This love type is often characterized by whirlwind romances driven by passion but lacking true depth.

Sternberg places “love at first sight” in this category of love, which according to him, involves “a high degree of psychophysiological arousal, manifested in somatic symptoms such as increased heartbeat or even palpitations of the heart, increased hormonal secretions, erection of genitals (penis or clitoris), and so on” (Sternberg, 1986, p.124).

This kind of love develops very quickly, without time for any intimate feelings to grow or for a commitment to be made (Sternberg, 1986).

The fourth type of love that Sternberg introduces is empty love, which is when the decision/commitment component of love is present in a relationship, but the intimacy and passion components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

This type of love can commonly be found in some long-term relationships where the couple has lost feelings for one another.

However, Sternberg points out an interesting phenomenon regarding this kind of love: “In our society, we are most accustomed to empty love as it occurs as a final or near-final stage of a long-term relationship,” but “in other societies, empty love may be the first stage of a long-term relationship” (such as in an arranged marriage) (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Romantic Love

The fifth type of love that Sternberg introduces is romantic love, which is when the intimacy and passion components of love are present in a relationship, but the decision/commitment component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

This kind of love can also be thought of as “liking with an added element, namely, the arousal brought about by physical attraction and its concomitants” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

For a popular literary example of this kind of love, one can look at “Romeo and Juliet,” where the couple shares both intimate and passionate feelings towards one another but have made no real commitment to one another (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Romantic love can also be found towards the beginning of some long-term relationships before the involved parties have committed to a long-term relationship with the other person.

Companionate Love

The sixth type of love that Sternberg introduces is companionate love when the intimacy and decision/commitment components of love are present in a relationship, but the passion component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg’s Consummate Love refers to the ideal form of love that combines three components: Intimacy (deep connection and understanding), Passion (physical and romantic attraction), and Commitment (the decision to maintain love in the long term). It’s considered the most complete and balanced form of love.

Sternberg describes this type of love as “a long-term, committed friendship, the kind that frequently occurs in marriages in which the physical attraction (a major source of passion) has died down” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Because marriages typically involve such large amounts of the intimacy and decision/commitment components of love, they can often become forms of companionate love when the “spark” or the passion in the relationship is lost, commonly over time (Sternberg, 1986).

Fatuous Love

The seventh type of love that Sternberg introduces is fatuous love, which is when the passion and decision/commitment components of love are present in a relationship, but the intimacy component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, fatuous love “is the kind of love we sometimes associate with Hollywood, or with whirlwind courtships, in which a couple meets on Day X, gets engaged two weeks later, and marries the next month”, where “a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing element of intimate involvement” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Because the intimate component of love takes time to develop, these relationships lack that aspect of love and their relationship may therefore be more likely to fail (Sternberg, 1986).

Consummate Love

Finally, the eighth type of love that Sternberg introduces is consummate love, which is when all three components of love are present in a relationship (Sternberg, 1986).

Nowadays, when one thinks of love, they are most likely thinking about consummate love. Additionally, consummate love is seemingly the type of love that most people aim to find (Sternberg, 1986).

Outside of romantic interests, an example of consummate love can be found in many parents” love for their children, often dubbed “unconditional love” (Sternberg, 1986).

Related Research

In 1999, researchers Lemieux and Hale provided support for Sternberg’s theory of triangular love with their study of undergraduates, in which they found that the three components of love were “significantly related to a measure of Relational Satisfaction” (Lemieux & Hale, 1999, p. 497).

The next year, in 2000, they conducted a similar study, this time with married participants, and also found “that each component was a significant predictor of relational satisfaction” (Lemieux & Hale, 2000, p. 941).

In 2009, researcher Deverich conducted a study regarding Sternberg’s triangular theory of love to discover whether or not adolescents could be in consummate love according to Sternberg’s theory (Deverich, 2009).

Interestingly, she found that “due to their inconsistencies in fulfilling Sternberg’s viewed loving components…adolescents are not capable of being consummately in love” (Deverich, 2009, p. 21).

Deverich, S. (2009). Love unveiled: Teenage love within the context of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Intuition, 5 , 21-25.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (1999). Intimacy, passion, and commitment in young romantic relationships: Successfully measuring the triangular theory of love. Psychological reports, 85 (2), 497-503.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (2000). Intimacy, passion, and commitment among married individuals: Further testing of the triangular theory of love. Psychological Reports, 87 (3), 941-948.

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review, 93 (2), 119.

Sternberg, R. J. (1987). Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3), 331.

Further Information

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (2000). Intimacy, passion, and commitment among married individuals: Further testing of the triangular theory of love. Psychological Reports, 87(3), 941-948.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (1999). Intimacy, passion, and commitment in young romantic relationships: Successfully measuring the triangular theory of love. Psychological reports, 85(2), 497-503.

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review, 93(2), 119.

An official website of the United States government

The .gov means it’s official. Federal government websites often end in .gov or .mil. Before sharing sensitive information, make sure you’re on a federal government site.

The site is secure. The https:// ensures that you are connecting to the official website and that any information you provide is encrypted and transmitted securely.

• Publications
• Account settings

Preview improvements coming to the PMC website in October 2024. Learn More or Try it out now .

• Advanced Search
• Journal List
• Front Psychol

Towards a Comprehensive Theory of Love: The Quadruple Theory

Scholars across an array of disciplines including social psychologists have been trying to explain the meaning of love for over a century but its polysemous nature has made it difficult to fully understand. In this paper, a quadruple framework of attraction, resonance or connection, trust, and respect are proposed to explain the meaning of love. The framework is used to explain how love grows and dies and to describe brand love, romantic love, and parental love. The synergistic relationship between the factors and how their variations modulate the intensity or levels of love are discussed.

Introduction

Scholars across an array of disciplines have tried to define the meaning and nature of love with some success but questions remain. Indeed, it has been described as a propensity to think, feel, and behave positively toward another ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ). However, the application of this approach has been unsuccessful in all forms of love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Some social psychologists have tried to define love using psychometric techniques. Robert Sternberg Triangular Theory of Love and Clyde and Susan Hendrick’s Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) are notable attempts to employ the psychometric approach ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ; Sternberg, 1986 ). However, data analysis from the administration of the LAS, Sternberg’s scale and the Passionate Love Scale by Hatfield and Sprecher’s (1986) found a poor association with all forms of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1989 ). Other studies have found a poor correlation between these and other love scales with different types of love ( Whitley, 1993 ; Sternberg, 1997 ; Masuda, 2003 ; Graham and Christiansen, 2009 ).

In recent years, the neuropsychological approach to study the nature of love has gained prominence. Research has compared the brain activity of people who were deeply in love while viewing a picture of their partner and friends of the same age using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and concluded that there is a specialized network of the brain involved in love ( Bartels and Zeki, 2000 ). Indeed, several lines of investigation using fMRI have described a specialized area of the brain mediating maternal love ( Noriuchi et al., 2008 ; Noriuchi and Kikuchi, 2013 ) and, fMRI studies have implicated multiple brain systems particularly the reward system in romantic love ( Aron et al., 2005 ; Fisher et al., 2005 , 2010 ; Beauregard et al., 2009 ). Brain regions including ventral tegmental area, anterior insula, ventral striatum, and supplementary motor area have been demonstrated to mediate social and material reward anticipation ( Gu et al., 2019 ). Although brain imaging provides a unique insight into the nature of love, making sense of the psychological significance or inference of fMRI data is problematic ( Cacioppo et al., 2003 ).

Also, there has been growing interests in the neurobiology of love. Indeed, evidence suggests possible roles for oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, cortisol, morphinergic system, and nerve growth factor in love and attachment ( Esch and Stefano, 2005 ; De Boer et al., 2012 ; Seshadri, 2016 ; Feldman, 2017 ). However, in many cases, definite proof is still lacking and the few imaging studies on love are limited by selection bias on the duration of a love affair, gender and cultural differences ( De Boer et al., 2012 ).

So, while advances have been made in unraveling the meaning of love, questions remain and a framework that can be employed to understand love in all its forms remains to be developed or proposed. The objective of this article is to propose a novel framework that can be applied to all forms of love.

Theoretical Background and Hypothesis Development (The AAC Model)

In the past few decades, the psychological literature has defined and described different forms of love and from these descriptions, the role of attraction, attachment-commitment, and caregiving (AAC), appears to be consistent in all forms of love.

Attraction theory is one of the first approaches to explain the phenomenon of love and several studies and scholarly works have described the importance of attraction in different forms of love ( Byrne and Griffitt, 1973 ; Berscheid and Hatfield, 1978 ; Fisher et al., 2006 ; Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Grant-Jacob, 2016 ). Attraction has been described as an evolutionary adaptation of humans for mating, reproduction, and parenting ( Fisher et al., 2002a , 2006 ).

The role of attachment in love has also been extensively investigated. Attachment bonds have been described as a critical feature of mammals including parent-infant, pair-bonds, conspecifics, and peers ( Feldman, 2017 ). Indeed, neural networks including the interaction of oxytocin and dopamine in the striatum have been implicated in attachment bonds ( Feldman, 2017 ). The key features of attachment include proximity maintenance, safety and security, and separation distress ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Multiple lines of research have proposed that humans possess an innate behavioral system of attachment that is essential in love ( Harlow, 1958 ; Bowlby, 1977 , 1988 , 1989 ; Ainsworth, 1985 ; Hazan and Shaver, 1987 ; Bretherton, 1992 ; Carter, 1998 ; Burkett and Young, 2012 ). Attachment is essential to commitment and satisfaction in a relationship ( Péloquin et al., 2013 ) and commitment leads to greater intimacy ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

Also, several lines of evidence have described the role of caregiving in love. It has been proposed that humans possess an inborn caregiving system that complements their attachment system ( Bowlby, 1973 ; Ainsworth, 1985 ). Indeed, several studies have used caregiving scale and compassionate love scale, to describe the role of caring, concern, tenderness, supporting, helping, and understanding the other(s), in love and relationships ( Kunce and Shaver, 1994 ; Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ). Mutual communally responsive relationships in which partners attend to one another’s needs and welfare with the expectation that the other will return the favor when their own needs arise ( Clark and Mills, 1979 ; Clark and Monin, 2006 ), have been described as key in all types of relationships including friendship, family, and romantic and compassionate love ( Berscheid, 2010 ).

Attachment and caregiving reinforce each other in relationships. Evidence suggests that sustained caregiving is frequently accompanied by the growth of familiarity between the caregiver and the receiver ( Bowlby, 1989 , p. 115) strengthening attachment ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Several studies have proposed that attachment has a positive influence on caregiving behavior in love and relationships ( Carnelley et al., 1996 ; Collins and Feeney, 2000 ; Feeney and Collins, 2001 ; Mikulincer, 2006 ; Canterberry and Gillath, 2012 ; Péloquin et al., 2013 ).

The AAC model can be seen across the literature on love. Robert Sternberg triangular theory of love which proposes that love has three components —intimacy, passion, and commitment ( Sternberg, 1986 ), essentially applies the AAC model. Passion, a key factor in his theory, is associated with attraction ( Berscheid and Hatfield, 1978 ), and many passionate behaviors including increased energy, focused attention, intrusive thinking, obsessive following, possessive mate guarding, goal-oriented behaviors and motivation to win and keep a preferred mating partner ( Fisher et al., 2002b , 2006 ; Fisher, 2005 ). Also, evidence indicates that attachment is central to intimacy, another pillar of the triangular theory ( Morris, 1982 ; Feeney and Noller, 1990 ; Oleson, 1996 ; Grabill and Kent, 2000 ). Commitment, the last pillar of the triangular theory, is based on interdependence and social exchange theories ( Stanley et al., 2010 ), which is connected to mutual caregiving and secure attachment.

Hendrick and Hendrick’s (1986) , Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) which measures six types of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ) is at its core based on the AAC model. Similarly, numerous works on love ( Rubin, 1970 ; Hatfield and Sprecher, 1986 ; Fehr, 1994 ; Grote and Frieze, 1994 ), have applied one or all of the factors in the ACC model. Berscheid (2010) , proposed four candidates for a temporal model of love including companionate love, romantic love, and compassionate love and adult attachment love. As described, these different types of love (romantic, companionate, compassionate, and attachment) all apply at least one or all of the factors in the AAC model.

New Theory (The Quadruple Framework)

The AAC model can be fully captured by four fundamental factors; attraction, connection or resonance, trust, and respect, providing a novel framework that could explain love in all its forms. Table 1 shows the core factors of love, and the four factors derived from them.

Factors of love.

Core factors	Factors of love	Strengthening or driving factors	Behavioral traits
Attraction Attachment	Attraction	Physical attributes, personality, wealth, value, etc.	Passion, intimacy, commitment.
Attachment-Commitment Caregiving	Connection/resonance	Similarity, proximity, familiarity, positive shared experiences, interdependence, novelty.	Friendship, separation distress, worry, and concern, commitment and Intimacy, compassion or caregiving.
Attachment-Commitment Caregiving	Trust	Reliability, familiarity, mutual self-disclosures, positive shared experiences.	Intimacy, commitment, compassion or caregiving
Attachment-Commitment Caregiving	Respect	Reciprocal appreciation, admiration, consideration, concern for wellbeing, and tolerance	Commitment, intimacy, compassion or caregiving

Evidence suggests that both attachment and attraction play a role in obsession or passion observed in love ( Fisher et al., 2005 ; Honari and Saremi, 2015 ). Attraction is influenced by the value or appeal perceived from a relationship and this affects commitment ( Rusbult, 1980 ).

Connection or Resonance

Connection is key to commitment, caregiving, and intimacy. It creates a sense of oneness in relationships and it is strengthened by proximity, familiarity, similarity, and positive shared experiences ( Sullivan et al., 2011 ; Beckes et al., 2013 ). Homogeneity or similarity has been observed to increase social capital and engagement among people ( Costa and Kahn, 2003a , b ), and it has been described as foundational to human relationships ( Tobore, 2018 , pp. 6–13). Research indicates that similarity plays a key role in attachment and companionship as people are more likely to form long-lasting and successful relationships with those who are more similar to themselves ( Burgess and Wallin, 1954 ; Byrne, 1971 ; Berscheid and Reis, 1998 ; Lutz-Zois et al., 2006 ). Proximity plays a key role in caregiving as people are more likely to show compassion to those they are familiar with or those closest to them ( Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ). Similarity and proximity contribute to feelings of familiarity ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Also, caregiving and empathy are positively related to emotional interdependence ( Hatfield et al., 1994 ).

Trust is crucial for love ( Esch and Stefano, 2005 ) and it plays an important role in relationship intimacy and caregiving ( Rempel and Holmes, 1985 ; Wilson et al., 1998 ; Salazar, 2015 ), as well as attachment ( Rodriguez et al., 2015 ; Bidmon, 2017 ). Familiarity is a sine qua non for trust ( Luhmann, 1979 ), and trust is key to relationship satisfaction ( Simpson, 2007 ; Fitzpatrick and Lafontaine, 2017 ).

Respect is cross-cultural and universal ( Frei and Shaver, 2002 ; Hendrick et al., 2010 ) and has been described as fundamental in love ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ). It plays a cardinal role in interpersonal relations at all levels ( Hendrick et al., 2010 ). Indeed, it is essential in relationship commitment and satisfaction ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 2006 ) and relationship intimacy and attachment ( Alper, 2004 ; Hendrick et al., 2011 ).

Synergetic Interactions of the Four Factors

Connection and attraction.

Similarity, proximity, and familiarity are all important in connection because they promote attachment and a sense of oneness in a relationship ( Sullivan et al., 2011 ; Beckes et al., 2013 ). Research indicates that proximity ( Batool and Malik, 2010 ) and familiarity positively influence attraction ( Norton et al., 2015 ) and several lines of evidence suggests that people are attracted to those similar to themselves ( Sykes et al., 1976 ; Wetzel and Insko, 1982 ; Montoya et al., 2008 ; Batool and Malik, 2010 ; Collisson and Howell, 2014 ). Also, attraction mediates similarity and familiarity ( Moreland and Zajonc, 1982 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Respect and Trust

Evidence suggests that respect promotes trust ( Ali et al., 2012 ).

Connection, Respect, Trust, and Attraction

Trust affects attraction ( Singh et al., 2015 ). Trust and respect can mediate attitude similarity and promote attraction ( Singh et al., 2016 ).

So, although these factors can operate independently, evidence suggests that the weakening of one factor could negatively affect the others and the status of love. Similarly, the strengthening of one factor positively modulates the others and the status of love.

Relationships are dynamic and change as events and conditions in the environment change ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Love is associated with causal conditions that respond to these changes favorably or negatively ( Berscheid, 2010 ). In other words, as conditions change, and these factors become present, love is achieved and if they die, it fades. Figure 1 below explains how love grows and dies. Point C in the figure explains the variations in the intensity or levels of love and this variation is influenced by the strength of each factor. The stronger the presence of all factors, the higher the intensity and the lower, the weaker the intensity of love. The concept of non-love is similar to the “non-love” described in Sternberg’s triangular theory of love in which all components of love are absent ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

Description: (A) Presence of love (all factors are present). (B) Absence of love (state of non-love or state where all factors are latent or dormant). (C) Different levels of love due to variations in the four factors. (D) Movement from non-love toward love (developmental stage: at least one but not all four factors are present). (E) Movement away from love toward non-love (decline stage: at least one or more of the four factors are absent).

Application of the Quadruple Framework on Romantic, Brand and Parental Love

Romantic, parental and brand love have been chosen to demonstrate the role of these factors and their interactions in love because there is significant existing literature on them. However, they can be applied to understand love in all its forms.

Romantic Love

Attraction and romantic love.

Attraction involves both physical and personality traits ( Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Karandashev and Fata, 2014 ). To this end, attraction could be subdivided into sexual or material and non-sexual or non-material attraction. Sexual or material attraction includes physical attributes such as beauty, aesthetics, appeal, wealth, etc. In contrast, non-sexual or non-material attraction includes characteristics such as personality, social status, power, humor, intelligence, character, confidence, temperament, honesty, good quality, kindness, integrity, etc. Both types of attraction are not mutually exclusive.

Romantic love has been described as a advanced form of human attraction system ( Fisher et al., 2005 ) and it fits with the passion component of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which he described as the quickest to recruit ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Indeed, research indicates that physical attractiveness and sensual feelings are essential in romantic love and dating ( Brislin and Lewis, 1968 ; Regan and Berscheid, 1999 ; Luo and Zhang, 2009 ; Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Ha et al., 2010 ; Guéguen and Lamy, 2012 ) and sexual attraction often provides the motivational spark that kickstarts a romantic relationship ( Gillath et al., 2008 ). Behavioral data suggest that love and sex drive follow complementary pathways in the brain ( Seshadri, 2016 ). Indeed, the neuroendocrine system for sexual attraction and attachment appears to work synergistically motivating individuals to both prefer a specific mating partner and to form an attachment to that partner ( Seshadri, 2016 ). Sex promotes the activity of hormones involved in love including arginine vasopressin in the ventral pallidum, oxytocin in the nucleus accumbens and stimulates dopamine release which consequently motivates preference for a partner and strengthens attachment or pair-bonding ( Seshadri, 2016 ).

Also, romantic love is associated with non-material attraction. Research indicates that many people are attracted to their romantic partner because of personality traits like generosity, kindness, warmth, humor, helpfulness, openness to new ideas ( Giles, 2015 , pp. 168–169). Findings from a research study on preferences in human mate selection indicate that personality traits such as kindness/considerate and understanding, exciting, and intelligent are strongly preferred in a potential mate ( Buss and Barnes, 1986 ). Indeed, character and physical attractiveness have been found to contribute jointly and significantly to romantic attraction ( McKelvie and Matthews, 1976 ).

Attraction is key to commitment in a romantic relationship ( Rusbult, 1980 ), indicating that without attraction a romantic relationship could lose its luster. Also, romantic attraction is weakened or declines as the reason for its presence declines or deteriorates. If attraction is sexual or due to material characteristics, then aging or any accident that compromises physical beauty would result in its decline ( Braxton-Davis, 2010 ). Loss of fortune or social status could also weaken attraction and increase tension in a relationship. Indeed, tensions about money increase marital conflicts ( Papp et al., 2009 ; Dew and Dakin, 2011 ) and predicted subsequent divorce ( Amato and Rogers, 1997 ).

Connection and Romantic Love

Connection or resonance fits with the intimacy, and commitment components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Connection in romantic love involves intimacy, friendship or companionship and caregiving and it is strengthened by novelty, proximity, communication, positive shared experiences, familiarity, and similarity. It is what creates a sense of oneness between romantic partners and it is expressed in the form of proximity seeking and maintenance, concern, and compassion ( Neto, 2012 ). Evidence suggests that deeper levels of emotional involvement or attachment increase commitment and cognitive interdependence or tendency to think about the relationship in a pluralistic manner, as reflected in the use of plural pronouns to describe oneself, romantic partner and relationship ( Agnew et al., 1998 ).

Research indicates that both sexual attraction and friendship are necessary for romantic love ( Meyers and Berscheid, 1997 ; Gillath et al., 2008 ; Berscheid, 2010 ), indicating that connection which is essential for companionship plays a key role in romantic love. A study on college students by Hendrick and Hendrick (1993) found that a significant number of the students described their romantic partner as their closest friend ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1993 ), reinforcing the importance of friendship or companionship in romantic love.

Similarity along the lines of values, goals, religion, nationality, career, culture, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, language, etc. is essential in liking and friendship in romantic love ( Berscheid and Reis, 1998 ). Research indicates that a partner who shared similar values and interests were more likely to experience stronger love ( Jin et al., 2017 ). Indeed, the more satisfied individuals were with their friendships the more similar they perceived their friends to be to themselves ( Morry, 2005 ). Also, similarity influences perceptions of familiarity ( Moreland and Zajonc, 1982 ), and familiarity plays a role in the formation of attachment and connectedness because it signals safety and security ( Bowlby, 1977 ). Moreover, similarity and familiarity affect caregiving. Sprecher and Fehr (2005) , found compassion or caregiving were lower for strangers, and greatest for dating and marital relationships, indicating that similarity and familiarity enhance intimacy and positively influences caregiving ( Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ).

Proximity through increased exposure is known to promote liking ( Saegert et al., 1973 ), familiarity and emotional connectedness ( Sternberg, 1986 ; Berscheid, 2010 ). Exposure through fun times and direct and frequent communication is essential to maintaining and strengthening attachment and connectedness ( Sternberg and Grajek, 1984 ). In Sternberg’s triangular theory, effective communication is described as essential and affects the intimacy component of a relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Indeed, intimacy grows from a combination of mutual self-disclosure and interactions mediated by positive partner responsiveness ( Laurenceau et al., 1998 , 2005 ; Manne et al., 2004 ), indicating that positive feedback and fun times together strengthens connection.

Also, sexual activity is an important component of the reward system that reinforces emotional attachment ( Seshadri, 2016 ), indicating that sexual activity may increase emotional connectedness and intimacy. Over time in most relationships, predictability grows, and sexual satisfaction becomes readily available. This weakens the erotic and emotional experience associated with romantic love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Research shows that a reduction in novelty due to the monotony of being with the same person for a long period is the reason for this decline in sexual attraction ( Freud and Rieff, 1997 , p. 57; Sprecher et al., 2006 , p. 467). According to Sternberg (1986) , the worst enemy of the intimacy component of love is stagnation. He explained that too much predictability can erode the level of intimacy in a close relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ). So, novelty is essential to maintaining sexual attraction and strengthening connection in romantic love.

Jealousy and separation distress which are key features of romantic love ( Fisher et al., 2002b ), are actions to maintain and protect the emotional union and are expressions of a strong connection. Research has found a significant correlation between anxiety and love ( Hatfield et al., 1989 ) and a positive link between romantic love and jealousy in stable relationships ( Mathes and Severa, 1981 ; Aune and Comstock, 1991 ; Attridge, 2013 ; Gomillion et al., 2014 ). Indeed, individuals who feel strong romantic love tend to be more jealous or sensitive to threats to their relationship ( Orosz et al., 2015 ).

Connection in romantic love is weakened by distance, a dearth of communication, unsatisfactory sexual activity, divergences or dissimilarity of values and interests, monotony and too much predictability.

Trust and Romantic Love

Trust is the belief that a partner is, and will remain, reliable or dependable ( Cook, 2003 ). Trust in romantic love fits with the intimacy, and commitment components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which includes being able to count on the loved one in times of need, mutual understanding with the loved one, sharing of one’s self and one’s possessions with the loved one and maintaining the relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

It has been proposed that love activates specific regions in the reward system which results in a reduction in emotional judgment and fear ( Seshadri, 2016 ). This reduced fear or trust has been identified as one of the most important characteristics of a romantic relationship and essential to fidelity, commitment, monogamy, emotional vulnerability, and intimacy ( Laborde et al., 2014 ). Indeed, trust can deepen intimacy, increase commitment and increase mutual monogamy, and make a person lower their guards in the belief that they are safe from harm ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ; Bauman and Berman, 2005 ). People with high trust in romantic relationships tend to expect that their partner will act in their interest causing them to prioritize relationship dependence over making themselves invulnerable from harm or self-protection ( Luchies et al., 2013 ). In contrast, people with low trust in their partner tend to be unsure about whether their partner will act in their interests and prioritize insulating themselves from harm over relationship dependence ( Luchies et al., 2013 ).

Trust takes time to grow into a romantic relationship. Indeed, people in a relationship come to trust their partners when they see that their partner’s action and behavior moves the relationship forward or acts in the interest of the relationship and not themself ( Wieselquist et al., 1999 ). Research indicates that trust is associated with mutual self-disclosure ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ), and positive partner responsiveness which are both essential to the experience of friendship and intimacy in romantic relationships ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ; Reis and Shaver, 1988 ; Laurenceau et al., 1998 ).

Also, trust influences caregiving and compassion. Evidence suggests that compassion is positively related to trust ( Salazar, 2015 ). Mutual communal responsiveness or caregiving in relationships in which partners attend to one another’s needs and welfare is done because they are confident that the other will do the same when or if their own needs arise ( Clark and Monin, 2006 ). Repeated acts of communal responsiveness given with no expectation of payback provide a partner with a sense of security and trust and increase the likelihood that they will be communally responsive if or when the need arises ( Clark and Monin, 2006 ), and contributes to a sense of love in romantic relationships ( Berscheid, 2010 ).

Loss or weakening of trust could spell the end of romantic love. Indeed, mistrust corrupts intimacy and often indicates that a relationship has ended or near its end ( LaFollette and Graham, 1986 ) and it makes mutual monogamy, and commitment difficult to achieve in a romantic relationship ( Towner et al., 2015 ). A study on individuals who had fallen out of romantic love with their spouse found that loss of trust and intimacy was part of the reason for the dissolution of love ( Sailor, 2013 ).

Respect and Romantic Love

Multiple lines of evidence suggest that respect is expected in both friendships and romantic relationships ( Gaines, 1994 , 1996 ). In romantic love, it entails consideration, admiration, high regard, and value for the loved one as a part of one’s life ( Sternberg and Grajek, 1984 ; Hendrick et al., 2011 ).

Gottman (1999) , found that the basis for a stable and satisfactory marital relationship is friendship filled with fondness and admiration ( Gottman, 1999 ). Respect is considered one of the most important things married couples want from their partner ( Gottman, 1994 ). Grote and Frieze (1994) , found that respect correlates with companionate or friendship love ( Grote and Frieze, 1994 ), indicating that respect is essential to intimacy and relationship satisfaction. Also, respect is positively correlated with passion, altruism, self-disclosure, and relationship overall satisfaction ( Frei and Shaver, 2002 ; Hendrick and Hendrick, 2006 ). It is associated with the tendency to overlook a partner’s negative behavior or respond with pro-relationship actions or compassion to their shortcomings ( Rusbult et al., 1998 ; Gottman, 1999 ).

Absence or a lack of respect could spell the end of romantic love. Research indicates that there is an expectation of mutual respect in friendship and most relationships and people reacted negatively when this expectation is violated ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ), indicating that a lack of respect could negatively affect commitment and attraction. Indeed, denial of respect is an important negative behavior in friendships and most relationships ( Gaines, 1994 , 1996 ) and a lack of respect is a violation of what it means to love one ‘s partner in a close romantic relationship ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ). Gottman (1993 , 1994) identified contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling as four of the relationally destructive behavior and he labeled them as “the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

Romantic love summary

Romantic love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. All four must be present in love. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause romantic love to gradually decline and unless effort is made to replenish it, it will eventually fade or collapse. Romantic love is dynamic and requires significant investment from both partners to keep it alive.

Parental Love

Attraction and parental love.

Attraction plays an essential role in parental love and it could be material or non-material. Material attraction involves the child’s health, gender, accomplishments or success, and attractiveness. In contrast, non-material attraction includes traits such as intelligence, character, and other personality traits.

Evidence suggests that culture influences gender preference with attraction greater for sons in most cases ( Cronk, 1993 ). Indeed, mothers and fathers have been found to favor the more intelligent and more ambitious/industrious child ( Lauricella, 2009 ). Also, parental perception that investment in a child will cost more than the benefits to be gained from taking care of the child might influence negative behavior toward the child. Indeed, multiple lines of evidence suggest that parental unemployment increases the rates of child maltreatment and abuse ( Steinberg et al., 1981 ; Lindo et al., 2013 ). Research indicates that teen mothers who have poor social support reported greater unhappiness, were at greater risk for child abuse and often employed the use of physical punishment toward their child ( Haskett et al., 1994 ; de Paúl and Domenech, 2000 ).

Also, several studies have suggested that parents tended to favor healthy children ( Mann, 1992 ; Barratt et al., 1996 ; Hagen, 1999 ). However, when resources are plentiful, parents tend to invest equally in less healthy or high-risk children ( Beaulieu and Bugental, 2008 ), because they have abundant resources to go around without compromising the reproductive value of healthy children ( Lauricella, 2009 ).

Connection and Parental Love

Connection creates a sense of oneness between parent and child and involves caregiving, intimacy, and attachment. It is influenced by proximity, positive and unique shared experiences, and similarity along virtually every dimension between parent and child.

Proximity, and similarity increases attachment and intimacy between parent and child. Research shows that parents are perceived as favoring genetically related children ( Salmon et al., 2012 ), and evidence suggests that paternal resemblance predicted paternal favoritism ( Lauricella, 2009 ). Parental proximity and similarity to a biological child are unique because it is based on genes and blood. In contrast, intimacy between a parent and an adopted child is based solely on shared experiences and proximity and takes time to grow and on many occasions may not develop ( Hooks, 1990 ; Hughes, 1999 ).

Dissimilarities or discrepancy in values, attitudes, etc., can create problems between children and parents and can have a profound effect on their relationship. Indeed, evidence suggests that the rebel child tended to be less close to the parents ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). Research has found that adolescents who are less religious than their parents tend to experience lower-quality relationships with their parents which results in higher rates of both internalizing and externalizing symptoms ( Kim-Spoon et al., 2012 ). When parents and family members were very religious, and a child comes out as an atheist, relationship quality could suffer in the form of rejection, anger, despair, or an inability to relate to one another ( Zimmerman et al., 2015 ). A study of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youngsters, for patterns of disclosure of sexual orientation to families, found that those who had disclosed reported verbal and physical abuse by parents and family members ( D’Augelli et al., 1998 ). Honor killing of female children which have been reported in Pakistan and some parts of the Middle East because of deviation from traditional gender roles or crossing of social boundaries that are deemed as taboo in their culture ( Lindsey and Sarah, 2010 ), is another example of the negative effects of the discrepancy in values between parents and child.

Unique shared experiences between parent and child could increase connection. Bank (1988) observed that the development of favoritism seems to require that the “child’s conception or birth be unusual or stressful,” ( Bank, 1988 ). Evidence suggests that parents most favored child tended to be last-born child and this is linked to their unique position, vulnerability and neediness ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). Also, proximity, positive experiences and time spent together increases connection and intimacy. Research indicates that parents tend to give more love and support to the grown child they were historically closest to and got along with ( Siennick, 2013 ). A study of primiparous women found that mothers with greater contact with their infants were more reluctant to leave them with someone else, and engaged more intimately with their child ( Klaus et al., 1972 ).

Divorce could create distance between a parent and child, weakening connection and intimacy. Indeed, one of the outcomes of divorce is the lessening of contact between divorced non-custodial fathers and their children ( Appleby and Palkovitz, 2007 ), and this can reduce intimacy ( Guttmann and Rosenberg, 2003 ).

Also, parental separation distress, worry, and concern for their child’s welfare, academic performance, and future are expressions of connection and a lack thereof is a sign of poor connection. Indeed, the levels of concern and worry expressed between children and their parents influenced their perceptions of the relationship quality ( Hay et al., 2007 ).

Trust and Parental Love

Trust is essential to parental attachment, intimacy, and caregiving. When there is mistrust, attachment and intimacy between a parent and their child are disrupted or unable to blossom. In Africa and many parts of the world, there have been reports of children being condemned and abandoned by their parents simply because they are tagged as witches with mysterious evil powers ( Tedam, 2014 ; Bartholomew, 2015 ; Briggs and Whittaker, 2018 ). The tag of “witchcraft” stirs up fear and anger, causing the child to be perceived as a deadly threat which inevitably damages attachment, intimacy and eliminates the need for caregiving.

Research has found that firstborn children were most likely to be chosen as those to whom mothers would turn when facing personal problems or crises ( Suitor and Pillemer, 2007 ). This tendency may be linked to trust. Moreover, evidence suggests that the rebel child tended to be less close to the parents ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). In other words, the more obedient, and reliable child is likely to gain the confidence and intimacy of the parents. In contrast, the disobedient and unreliable child is excluded or kept at a distance. Also, trust and poor connection could influence inheritance and disinheritance decisions. Indeed, estrangement, alienation and disaffection of a parent toward a child could result in disinheritance ( Batts, 1990 ; Brashier, 1994 , 1996 ; Foster, 2001 ; Arroyo et al., 2016 ).

Respect and Parental Love

Respect in parental love entails treating the child with consideration and regard. This consideration and regard for the child are essential to intimacy, caregiving and attachment. Indeed, respect is foundational to a harmonious relationship between parent and child ( Dixon et al., 2008 ). Evidence suggests that humans possess an innate behavioral system that leads them to form an attachment to a familiar person who provides care, comfort, and protection ( Harlow, 1958 ; Bowlby, 1989 ). Repeated acts of caregiving contribute to a sense of love in all types of relationships ( Berscheid, 2010 ), reinforcing the role of parental caregiving in fostering intimacy and attachment with the child.

Taking care of an infant’s needs, and making sure they are safe and well, all fall under consideration and regard for the child. Child abuse and neglect ( Tedam, 2014 ; Bartholomew, 2015 ; Briggs and Whittaker, 2018 ), is a display of a lack of consideration for the child’s need.

Also, respect in parental love involves admiration. Research has found that fathers treated more ambitious/industrious sons with high regard, and both parents favored the more intelligent and more ambitious/industrious daughters ( Lauricella, 2009 ) indicating that a child that engages in activities or behavior that is highly regarded by their parents may gain favor with their parents, strengthening intimacy and vice versa.

Parental love summary

Parental love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause parental love to gradually decline. In many cases, the behavior and actions of a child significantly influence parental love.

Brand love has been defined as the level of passionate emotional attachment a satisfied or happy consumer has for a brand and evidence suggests it is very similar to interpersonal love ( Russo et al., 2011 ).

Attraction and Brand Love

Attraction plays an essential role in brand love. Material attraction for a brand includes attributes like superior design, quality, and aesthetics, price, benefits, etc. Non-material attraction involves social status symbol, brand personality, uniqueness, distinctiveness, user experience, image, etc. evidence suggests that when talking about loved brands, people often talk passionately about the brand’s many attractive qualities such as its exceptional performance, good-looking design, value for money, and other positive attributes ( Fournier, 1998 ; Whang et al., 2004 ; Carroll and Ahuvia, 2006 ; Batra et al., 2012 ). Research on brand love has found that brand attractive attributes such as prestige or uniqueness influence brand passion which affects relevant factors such as purchase intention ( Bauer et al., 2007 ).

Also, brand attraction influences brand loyalty, and commitment. Indeed, research indicates that brand benefits influences brand loyalty or commitment ( Huang et al., 2016 ). Brand personality (image, distinctiveness, and self-expressive value) is strongly associated with brand identification and loyalty ( Kim et al., 2001 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Connection and Brand Love

Connection is essential to brand love. It involves brand attachment, commitment, and intimacy and it is strengthened by brand identification, image, familiarity or awareness, proximity, length or frequency of usage and similarity or congruences along virtually every dimension including values, lifestyle, goals, etc. between brand and customer. Brand awareness which means brand familiarity has been described as essential for people to identify with a brand ( Pascual and Académico, 2015 ), and it indirectly affects current purchases ( Esch et al., 2006 ).

Also, brand identification promotes a sense of oneness between a brand and a customer strengthening commitment and it is driven by brand self-similarity, brand prestige and brand distinctiveness ( Stokburger-Sauer et al., 2008 ). Indeed, brand identification contributes to the development of brand love and brand loyalty ( Alnawas and Altarifi, 2016 ) and brand image and identification influence loyalty and positive word of mouth ( Carroll and Ahuvia, 2006 ; Batra et al., 2012 ; Anggraeni and Rachmanita, 2015 ). Brand identity, values and lifestyle similarities to those of the customer appear to have a strong and significant relationship with brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ; Rauschnabel and Ahuvia, 2014 ; Alnawas and Altarifi, 2016 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ). Findings from research suggest that customer-to-customer similarity and sense of community drive consumer brand identification, loyalty, and engagement ( Bergkvist and Bech-Larsen, 2010 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Moreover, proximity and interaction play a role in brand love. Indeed, the duration of the relationship between a customer and a brand is essential in brand love ( Albert et al., 2007 ). Fournier (1998) , discussed interdependence which involved frequent brand interactions as necessary for a strong brand relationship ( Fournier, 1998 ). Similarly, Batra et al. (2012) found that having a long-term relationship, positive emotional connection and frequent interactions with a brand was an important aspect of brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ). Indeed, shared experiences and history between a person and a brand can increase their emotional attachment, make the brand to become an important part of the person’s identity narrative and increases their loyalty to the brand ( Thomson et al., 2005 ; Pedeliento et al., 2016 ).

Just like romantic love, concern and worry and proximity seeking, or maintenance are an expression of emotional connectedness to the brand. Indeed, anticipated separation distress has been described as a core element of brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ), and consumers are likely to feel strong desires to maintain proximity with their loved objects, even feeling “separation distress” when they are distanced from them ( Thomson et al., 2005 ; Park et al., 2010 ).

Also, novelty through continued innovation is vital to maintaining and strengthening both attraction and connection. According to the Harvard business review, the relationship between brand and consumer go through “ruts” and to “keep the spark” alive, innovation and news are essential ( Halloran, 2014 ). Research indicates that innovation plays a role in brand equity and it impacts brand identification or resonance ( Sinha, 2017 ).

Lack of brand familiarity or awareness, poor or negative user experience, a dearth of innovation and increased dissimilarities in values and lifestyles between brand and consumer can all weaken brand connection.

Trust and Brand Love

Trust is essential to brand attachment, intimacy, and commitment. It involves confidence and reliability, or dependability of the brand and it is influenced by brand image, familiarity, values, user experience, and quality. Indeed, brand trust directly influences brand love ( Turgut and Gultekin, 2015 ; Meisenzahl, 2017 ) and a strong relationship exists between brand love and brand trust and identification ( Albert and Merunka, 2013 ). Evidence suggests that brand familiarity influences brand trust ( Ha and Perks, 2005 ) and brand trust and experience, positively influence brand attachment ( Erciş et al., 2012 ; Chinomona, 2013 ; Chinomona and Maziriri, 2017 ).

Also, brand trust affects brand purchase, loyalty, and commitment. Evidence suggests that a strong relationship exists between brand love and brand trust, brand commitment, positive word of mouth, and willingness to pay a higher price for the brand ( Albert and Merunka, 2013 ). Research indicates that brand trust positively affects brand loyalty ( Setyawan and Kussudiyarsana, 2015 ), directly influences brand purchase intentions ( Yasin and Shamim, 2013 ) and positively influences current and future purchases ( Erciş et al., 2012 ). Indeed, more than any other factor, brand trust has been identified as essential for future purchases of a brand ( Esch et al., 2006 ). It is essential in determining purchase loyalty and attitudinal loyalty and it plays a role in brand market share ( Chaudhuri and Holbrook, 2001 ). Brand trust affects both affective and continuance commitment and affective commitment influences repurchase intention and loyalty ( Erciş et al., 2012 ).

Brand quality is essential to brand trust and love. Indeed, Fournier (1998) , discussed the role of brand quality in brand love and highlighted the role of trust in relationship satisfaction and strength ( Fournier, 1998 ). Also, brand trust has been found to positively affect resistance to negative information and repurchase intention ( Turgut and Gultekin, 2015 ).

Brand trust is weakened by poor user experience, brand quality, brand image, and a lack of brand familiarity.

Respect and Brand Love

Brand respect is essential in brand love and plays an important role in brand attachment, intimacy, and commitment. It is influenced by brand identification, values, image, experience, and quality. Brand respect is displayed by the customer in the form of high regard, admiration for the brand, brand loyalty and consideration or tolerance of negative information. Indeed, brand familiarity positively affects brand respect ( Zhou, 2017 ), indicating that brand familiarity increases regard for a brand. Evidence suggests that brand image positively influences brand respect and love ( Cho, 2011 ), indicating that brand image modulates a customer’s regard and admiration for a brand.

Brand respect influences brand commitment and loyalty. Indeed, a strong relationship has been found between brand respect and brand loyalty ( Cho, 2011 ) and brand admiration results in greater brand loyalty, stronger brand advocacy, and higher brand equity ( Park et al., 2016 ). Brand respect affects the behavioral outcomes of brand love such as affective commitment, and willingness to pay a price premium ( Garg et al., 2016 ; Park et al., 2016 ).

Also, evidence suggests that customers’ admiration or high regard for a brand contributes to why they tend to ignore negative information about the brand ( Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ). Fournier (1998) , included respect as one of the components of brand partner quality. This means that respect is one of the factors that reflects the consumer’s evaluation of the brand’s performance ( Fournier, 1998 ).

A lack of respect could negatively influence the relationship between a brand and a customer. Indeed, people react negatively when the expectation of respect is violated ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ) and a violation of expectation between brand and customer has been found to contribute to brand hate ( Zarantonello et al., 2016 ).

Brand love summary

Brand love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause brand love to gradually decline and unless effort is made to replenish it, it will eventually fade or collapse. Brand love is dynamic and requires significant investment from the brand to keep it alive.

Strengths and Advances Made by the Quadruple Theory

The quadruple theory builds on many of the strengths of previous theories of love and it applies a temporal approach that has been proposed as the best way to understand love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). It goes further than previous theories for several reasons. Firstly, it could potentially be applied to any form of love although, only brand, romantic and parental love were discussed in this paper due to the paucity of scholarly articles on other forms of love. One of the reasons current love scales and approaches have been unable to be applied in all forms of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1989 ; Whitley, 1993 ; Sternberg, 1997 ; Masuda, 2003 ; Graham and Christiansen, 2009 ), is because they capture only a part of the ACC model, unlike the quadruple framework which fully captures it.

Unlike previous theories, the quadruple theory’s application of the complex factor of connection/resonance gives it an edge in furthering our understanding of love. Proximity, positive shared experience, familiarity, and similarity are vital to connection and connection has the most profound influence on all the other factors.

Also, the dynamism and variation of these factors provide a fresh way to understand love from its development to collapse. As Figure 1 shows, love tends to take time to mature in a relationship and can die as these factors rise and decline. Figure 1 shows that variations in the presence of these factors represent different levels of love. Love in any relationship is influenced by the events in the environment it is embedded, and it responds favorably or negatively to these changes. Indeed, people get sick, old, lose their finances, travel in search of greener pastures creating distance, develop new interests different from their partner’s and all these influences the presence and absence of love. One brand becomes more innovative, improves its product quality and users experience over another and people gradually love it more than the one they previously loved. In other words, love is very dynamic and may be divided into high, moderate and low. Another point highlighted in Figure 1 is that the absence of one factor represents the absence of love and only the presence of all factors represents the presence of love. Indeed, the decline of a factor can be replenished in response to changes in the environment causing the reestablishment of love. Trust could decline but attraction and respect remain and over time trust could be replenished.

This dynamic understanding of love implies that it can be nurtured and sustained. As an example, for a brand to be loved and to maintain that love, it must make products that are attractive (appealing). It must be able to connect to its target customers by reaching out through adverts to achieve familiarity and it must ensure that its values, goals, actions are consistently similar to those of its customer base. Also, it must ensure its services and products and actions promote and maintain trust with its customers. It must respect (value) its customer’s interests and ensure that its services and products continue to receive the admiration of its customers. Table 2 describes how brand love can be nurtured and preserved.

Brand love can be nurtured and maintained.

Brand love	Actions to nurture and maintain it
Connection	(1) Ensure that the values, goals, interests, etc. of the brand are similar or congruent to those of its customer base.
	(2) Ensure that customers are aware of its products and familiar with all new developments.
	(3) Ensure that customers use the brand as frequently as possible.
Attraction	Brand or product quality, value, aesthetic, innovativeness, etc. must be prioritized.
Respect	(1) Treats customers with the highest regard. (2) Ensure that its conduct and services take into consideration the concerns and interests of its customer base and address them. (3) Ensure that its products and services remain innovative and admirable.
Trust	Ensure that brand products and services, as well as conduct or actions, promotes and strengthens customers’ faith and confidence in the brand.

Using this framework, a love scale or algorithm could be developed to ascertain the presence or absence of love in any relationship. Such a scale must effectively capture these four factors and must consider the type of love being calculated in its approach. As an example, in trying to create a scale for romantic love, sexual attraction, and activity may be important for attraction and connection (depending on the age of the partners) but would be unnecessary in the calculation of brand or parental love.

Major Challenges for the Theory

One of the biggest challenges the theory faces is the lack of psychometric data to prove many of its claims. Most of its arguments are based on decades of psychological data, but its lack of psychometric data weakens the theory significantly. Also, the entire premise of the theory is based on the ACC model, which has not been validated as essential or foundational to understanding love. Perhaps, something else needs to be added to the model that the theory may have missed. The argument that the quadruple theory captures the ACC model better than previous theories on love is an argument that has not been validated, and it remains to be seen if this is true. Also, the argument that it can be applied to all forms of love apart from the three discussed remains to be tested and verified.

Gaps currently exist in our understanding of love and evidences from the existing literature show that a framework that can be applied to all forms of love is needed. The quadruple theory hopes to be that framework. It is likely to broaden our understanding of the complex nature of love. It could make love less complex by making it something that can be cultivated or nurtured, regulated and preserved. Future research should consider the modulatory roles of peptides, neurotransmitters, and hormones on these factors and their influence on love as well as the integrated parts of the brain that modulates all these factors and how they work synergistically in different stages of love.

It is important to note that love is universal and applies to people of all cultures, races, ethnicities, religion and sexual orientations. Indeed, romantic love as described by the quadruple theory applies equally to heterosexual relationships and to the relationships of people in the LGTBQ community.

In conclusion, culture has a monumental influence on what people feel, think, and how they behave toward other people and things in their environment ( Karandashev, 2015 ; Ching Hei and David, 2018 ). So, it can be considered a modulating factor on the factors discussed and on love.

Author Contributions

The author confirms being the sole contributor of this work and has approved it for publication.

Conflict of Interest

The author declares that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

• Agnew C. R., Van Lange P. A. M., Rusbult C. E., Langston C. A. (1998). Cognitive interdependence: commitment and the mental representation of close relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 74 939–954. 10.1037/0022-3514.74.4.939 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Ainsworth M. D. (1985). Attachments across the life span. Bull. N. Y. Acad. Med. 61 792–812. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Albert N., Merunka D. (2013). The role of brand love in consumer-brand relationships. J. Consum. Mark. 30 258–266. 10.1108/07363761311328928 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Albert N., Merunka D., Valette-Florence P. (2007). When consumers love their brands: exploring the concept and its dimensions. J. Bus. Res. 61 1062–1075. 10.1016/j.jbusres.2007.09.014 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Ali S. H. S., Mansur N., Abdullah Z. (2012). Analyzing the issue of respect and trust: determining the mediating role of religion. Procedia Soc. Behav. Sci. 58 614–623. 10.1016/J.SBSPRO.2012.09.1039 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Alnawas I., Altarifi S. (2016). Exploring the role of brand identification and brand love in generating higher levels of brand loyalty. J. Vacat. Mark. 22 111–128. 10.1177/1356766715604663 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Alper G. (2004). Voices from the unconscious. J. Loss Trauma 10 73–81. 10.1080/15325020490890660 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Amato P. R., Rogers S. J. (1997). A longitudinal study of marital problems and subsequent divorce. J. Marriage Fam. 59 612–624. 10.2307/353949 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Anggraeni A., Rachmanita (2015). Effects of brand love, personality and image on word of mouth; the case of local fashion brands among young consumers. Procedia Soc. Behav. Sci. 211 442–447. 10.1016/J.SBSPRO.2015.11.058 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Appleby D. W., Palkovitz R. (2007). Factors Influencing a Divorced Father’ s Involvement with His Children. Available online at: http://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/ccfs_fac_pubs/7 (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Aron A., Fisher H., Mashek D. J., Strong G., Li H., Brown L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. J. Neurophysiol. 94 327–337. 10.1152/jn.00838.2004 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Arroyo E., Amayuelas I., Amorós E. F. (2016). Kinship bonds and emotional ties: lack of a family relationship as ground for disinheritance. Eur. Rev. Priv. Law 2 203–222. [ Google Scholar ]
• Attridge M. (2013). Jealousy and relationship closeness. SAGE Open 3 : 215824401347605 . 10.1177/2158244013476054 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Aune K. S., Comstock J. (1991). Experience and expression of jealousy: comparison between friends and romantics. Psychol. Rep. 69 315–319. 10.2466/pr0.1991.69.1.315 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bank S. P. (1988). Favoritism. J. Child. Contemp. Soc. 19 77–89. 10.1300/J274v19n03_05 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Barratt M. S., Roach M. A., Leavitt L. A. (1996). The impact of low-risk prematurity on maternal behaviour and toddler outcomes. Int. J. Behav. Dev. 19 581–602. 10.1177/016502549601900308 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bartels A., Zeki S. (2000). The neural basis of romantic love. Neuroreport 11 3829–3834. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bartholomew L. (2015). Child abuse linked to beliefs in witchcraft. Trans. Soc. Rev. 5 193–198. 10.1080/21931674.2015.1028809 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Batool S., Malik N. I. (2010). Role of attitude similarity and proximity in interpersonal attraction among friends. Int. J. Innov. Manage. Technol. 1 . [ Google Scholar ]
• Batra R., Ahuvia A., Bagozzi R. P. (2012). Brand love. J. Mark. 76 1–16. 10.1509/jm.09.0339 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Batts D. A. (1990). I Didn’t ask to be born: the American law of disinheritance and a proposal for change to a sytem of protected inheritance recommended citation. Hastings L. J. 41 1197–1270. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bauer H. H., Heinrich D., Martin I. (2007). “ How to create high emotional consumer-brand relationships? The causalities of brand passion ,” in Proceedings of the Australian and New Zealand Marketing Academy (ANZMAC) Conference 2007 , Dunedin, 2189–2198. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bauman L. J., Berman R. (2005). Adolescent relationships and condom use: trust, love and commitment. AIDS Behav. 9 211–222. 10.1007/s10461-005-3902-2 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Beaulieu D. A., Bugental D. (2008). Contingent parental investment: an evolutionary framework for understanding early interaction between mothers and children. Evol. Hum. Behav. 29 249–255. 10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2008.01.002 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Beauregard M., Courtemanche J., Paquette V., St-Pierre É. L. (2009). The neural basis of unconditional love. Psychiatry Res. Neuroimaging 172 93–98. 10.1016/j.pscychresns.2008.11.003 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Beckes L., Coan J. A., Hasselmo K. (2013). Familiarity promotes the blurring of self and other in the neural representation of threat. Soc. Cogn. Affect. Neurosci. 8 670–677. 10.1093/scan/nss046 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bergkvist L., Bech-Larsen T. (2010). Two studies of consequences and actionable antecedents of brand love. J. Brand Manage. 17 504–518. 10.1057/bm.2010.6 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Berscheid E. (2010). Love in the fourth dimension. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 61 1–25. 10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100318 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Berscheid E., Hatfield E. (1978). Interpersonal Attraction. Boston, MA: Addison-Wesley Pub. Co. [ Google Scholar ]
• Berscheid E. A., Reis H. T. (1998). “ Attraction and close relationships ,” in The Handbook of Social Psychology , 4th Edn, Vol. 2 eds Gilbert D. T., Fiske S. T., Lindzey G. (Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill; ), 193–281. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bidmon S. (2017). How does attachment style influence the brand attachment – brand trust and brand loyalty chain in adolescents? Int. J. Advert. 36 164–189. 10.1080/02650487.2016.1172404 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bowlby J. (1973). “ Affectional bonds: their nature and origin ,” in Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation , ed. Weiss R. S. (Cambridge, MA: MIT Press; ), 38–52. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bowlby J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds: aetiology and psychopathology in light of attachment theory. Br. J. Psychiatry 130 201–210. 10.1136/bmj.a3133 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Bowlby J. (1988). A SECURE BASE Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development A Member of the. New York, NY: Perseus Books Group. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bowlby J. (1989). The Making & Breaking of Affectional Bonds. London: Routledge. [ Google Scholar ]
• Brashier R. C. (1994). Disinheritance and the modern family. Case West. Reserve L. Rev. 83 : 121 . [ Google Scholar ]
• Brashier R. C. (1996). Protecting the child from disinheritance: Must Louisiana stand alone? Repository citation protecting the child from disinheritance: Must Louisiana Stand Alone? Louis. L. Rev. 57 . [ Google Scholar ]
• Braxton-Davis P. (2010). The social psychology of love and attraction. McNair Sch. J. 14 5–12. [ Google Scholar ]
• Bretherton I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Dev. Psychol. 28 759–775. 10.1037/0012-1649.28.5.759 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Briggs S., Whittaker A. (2018). Protecting Children from Faith-Based Abuse through Accusations of Witchcraft and Spirit Possession: Understanding Contexts and Informing Practice. Br. J. Soc. Work 48 2157–2175. 10.1093/bjsw/bcx155 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Brislin R. W., Lewis S. A. (1968). Dating and physical attractiveness: replication. Psychol. Rep. 22 976–976. 10.2466/pr0.1968.22.3.976 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Burgess E. W., Wallin P. (1954). Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage , 1st Edn New York, NY: Lippincott. [ Google Scholar ]
• Burkett J. P., Young L. J. (2012). The behavioral, anatomical and pharmacological parallels between social attachment, love and addiction. Psychopharmacology 224 1–26. 10.1007/s00213-012-2794-x [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Buss D. M., Barnes M. (1986). Preferences in human mate selection. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 50 559–570. 10.1037/0022-3514.50.3.559 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Byrne D., Griffitt W. (1973). Interpersonal attraction. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 24 317–336. 10.1146/annurev.ps.24.020173.001533 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Byrne D. E. (1971). The Attraction Paradigm. New York, NY: Academic Press. [ Google Scholar ]
• Cacioppo J. T., Berntson G. G., Lorig T. S., Norris C. J., Rickett E., Nusbaum H. (2003). Just because you’re imaging the brain doesn’t mean you can stop using your head: a primer and set of first principles. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 85 650–661. 10.1037/0022-3514.85.4.650 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Canterberry M., Gillath O. (2012). Attachment and Caregiving Functions, Interactions, and Implications. Available online at: https://gillab.ku.edu/sites/gillab.drupal.ku.edu/files/docs/canterberrygillathchp14.pdf (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Carnelley K. B., Pietromonaco P. R., Jaffe K. (1996). Attachment, caregiving, and relationship functioning in couples: Effects of self and partner. Pers. Relat. 3 257–278. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.1996.tb00116.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Carroll B. A., Ahuvia A. C. (2006). Some antecedents and outcomes of brand love. Mark. Lett. 17 79–89. 10.2307/40216667 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Carter C. S. (1998). Neuroendocrine perspectives on social attachment and love. Psychoneuroendocrinology 23 779–818. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Chaudhuri A., Holbrook M. B. (2001). The chain of effects from brand trust and brand affect to brand performance: the role of brand loyalty. J. Mark. 65 81–93. 10.1509/jmkg.65.2.81.18255 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Ching Hei K., David M. K. (2018). How love is perceived by malaysian malay children. Int. J. Linguist. Lit. Transl. 1 80–104. [ Google Scholar ]
• Chinomona E., Maziriri E. (2017). The influence of brand trust, brand familiarity and brand experience on brand attachment: a case of consumers in the Gauteng Province of South Africa. J. Econ. Behav. Stud. 9 69–81. [ Google Scholar ]
• Chinomona R. (2013). The influence of brand experience on brand satisfaction, Trust And Attachment In South Africa. Int. Bus. Econ. Res. J. 12 1303–1316. 10.19030/iber.v12i10.8138 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Cho E. (2011). Development of a Brand Image Scale and the Impact of Lovemarks on Brand Equity. Ph.D. dissertation, Iowa State University, Ames, IA. [ Google Scholar ]
• Clark M. S., Mills J. (1979). Interpersonal attraction in exchange and communal relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 37 12–24. 10.1037/0022-3514.37.1.12 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Clark M. S., Monin J. K. (2006). “ Giving and receiving communal responsiveness as love ,” in The New Psychology of Love , eds Sternberg R. J., Weis K. (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press; ), 200–221. [ Google Scholar ]
• Collins N. L., Feeney B. C. (2000). A safe haven: an attachment theory perspective on support seeking and caregiving in intimate relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 78 1053–1073. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Collisson B., Howell J. L. (2014). The liking-similarity effect: perceptions of similarity as a function of liking. J. Soc. Psychol. 154 384–400. 10.1080/00224545.2014.914882 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Cook K. S. (2003). Trust in Society. New York, NY: Russell Sage Foundation. [ Google Scholar ]
• Costa D. L., Kahn M. E. (2003a). Civic engagement and community heterogeneity: an economist’s perspective. Perspect. Polit. 1 103–111. 10.1017/S1537592703000082 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Costa D. L., Kahn M. E. (2003b). Understanding the American Decline in Social Capital, 1952-1998. Kyklos 56 17–46. 10.1111/1467-6435.00208 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Cronk L. (1993). Parental favoritism toward daughters. Am. Sci. 81 272–279. 10.2307/29774922 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• D’Augelli A. R., Hershberger S. L., Pilkington N. W. (1998). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth and their families: disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry 68 361–371. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• De Boer A., Van Buel E. M., Ter Horst G. J. (2012). Love is more than just a kiss: a neurobiological perspective on love and affection. Neuroscience 201 114–124. 10.1016/j.neuroscience.2011.11.017 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• de Paúl J., Domenech L. (2000). Childhood history of abuse and child abuse potential in adolescent mothers: a longitudinal study. Child Abuse Negl. 24 701–713. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Dew J. P., Dakin J. (2011). Financial disagreements and marital conflict tactics. J. Financial Ther. 2 : 7 10.4148/jft.v2i1.1414 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Dixon S. V., Graber J. A., Brooks-Gunn J. (2008). The roles of respect for parental authority and parenting practices in parent-child conflict among African American, Latino, and European American families. J. Fam. Psychol. 22 1–10. 10.1037/0893-3200.22.1.1 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Elbedweihy A. M., Jayawardhena C., Elsharnouby M. H., Elsharnouby T. H. (2016). Customer relationship building: the role of brand attractiveness and consumer–brand identification. J. Bus. Res. 69 2901–2910. 10.1016/j.jbusres.2015.12.059 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Erciş A., Ünal S., Candan F. B., Yıldırım H. (2012). The effect of brand satisfaction, trust and brand commitment on loyalty and repurchase intentions. Procedia Soc. Behav. Sci. 58 1395–1404. 10.1016/j.sbspro.2012.09.1124 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Esch F., Langner T., Schmitt B. H., Geus P. (2006). Are brands forever? How brand knowledge and relationships affect current and future purchases. J. Prod. Brand Manage. 15 98–105. 10.1108/10610420610658938 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Esch T., Stefano G. B. (2005). The neurobiology of love. Neuroendocrinol. Lett. 26 175–192. 10.2174/157340005774575037 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Feeney B. C., Collins N. L. (2001). Predictors of caregiving in adult Intimate relationships: an attachment theoretical perspective. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 80 972–994. 10.1037/0022-3514.80.6.972 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Feeney J. A., Noller P. (1990). Attachment Style as a Predictor of Adult Romantic Relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 58 281–291. 10.1016/j.psychres.2018.01.010 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fehr B. (1994). Prototype-based assessment of laypeople’s views of love. Pers. Relat. 1 309–331. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00068.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Feldman R. (2017). The neurobiology of human attachments. Trends Cogn. Sci. 21 80–99. 10.1016/j.tics.2016.11.007 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H. (2005). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. New York, NY: Henry Holt and Co. [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H., Aron A., Brown L. L. (2005). Romantic love: an fMRI study of a neural mechanism for mate choice. J. Comp. Neurol. 493 58–62. 10.1002/cne.20772 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H. E., Aron A., Brown L. L. (2006). Romantic love: a mammalian brain system for mate choice. Philos. Trans. R. Soc. Lond. Ser. B Biol. Sci. 361 2173–2186. 10.1098/rstb.2006.1938 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H. E., Aron A., Mashek D., Li H., Strong G., Brown L. L. (2002a). The neural mechanisms of mate choice: a hypothesis. Neuro Endocrinol. Lett. 23 ( Suppl. 4 ), 92–97. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H. E., Aron A., Mashek D., Li H., Brown L. L. (2002b). Defining the brain systems of lust, romantic attraction, and attachment. Arch. Sex. Behav. 31 413–419. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fisher H. E., Brown L. L., Aron A., Strong G., Mashek D. (2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. J. Neurophysiol. 104 51–60. 10.1152/jn.00784.2009 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Fitzpatrick J., Lafontaine M.-F. (2017). Attachment, trust, and satisfaction in relationships: investigating actor, partner, and mediating effects. Pers. Relat. 24 640–662. 10.1111/pere.12203 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Foster F. H. (2001). The family paradigm of inheritance law, 80 N.C. N. C. L. Rev. 80 12–13. [ Google Scholar ]
• Fournier S. (1998). Consumers and their brands: developing relationship theory in consumer research. J. Consum. Res. 24 343–373. [ Google Scholar ]
• Frei J. R., Shaver P. R. (2002). Respect in close relationships: prototype definition, self-report assessment, and initial correlates. Pers. Relat. 9 121–139. 10.1111/1475-6811.00008 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Freud S., Rieff P. (1997). Sexuality and the Psychology of Love. New York, NY: Collier Books. [ Google Scholar ]
• Gaines S. O. (1994). Exchange of respect-denying behaviors among male-female friendships. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 11 5–24. 10.1177/0265407594111001 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Gaines S. O. (1996). Impact of interpersonal traits and gender-role compliance on interpersonal resource exchange among dating and engaged/married couples. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 13 241–261. 10.1177/0265407596132005 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Garg R., Mukherjee J., Biswas S., Kataria A. (2016). An investigation into the concept of brand love and its proximal and distal covariates. J. Relat. Mark. 15 135–153. 10.1080/15332667.2016.1209047 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Giles J. (2015). Sexual attraction: the psychology of allure. Praeger 351 23–25. [ Google Scholar ]
• Gillath O., Mikulincer M., Birnbaum G. E., Shaver P. R. (2008). When sex primes love: subliminal sexual priming motivates relationship goal pursuit. Pers. Soc. Psychol. Bull. 34 1057–1069. 10.1177/0146167208318141 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Gomillion S., Gabriel S., Murray S. L. (2014). A friend of yours is no friend of mine. Soc. Psychol. Pers. Sci. 5 636–643. 10.1177/1948550614524447 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Gottman J. (1993). A theory of marital dissolution and stability. J. Fam. Psychol. 7 57–75. 10.1037/0893-3200.7.1.57 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Gottman J. (1994). What Predicts Divorce?: The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. [ Google Scholar ]
• Gottman J. M. (1999). The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton. [ Google Scholar ]
• Grabill C. M., Kent K. A. K. (2000). Attachment style and intimacy in friendship. Pers. Relat. 7 363–378. [ Google Scholar ]
• Graham J. M., Christiansen K. (2009). The reliability of romantic love: a reliability generalization meta-analysis. Pers. Relat. 16 49–66. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01209.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Grant-Jacob J. A. (2016). Love at first sight. Front. Psychol. 7 : 1113 10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01113 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Grote N. K., Frieze I. H. (1994). The measurement of friendship-based love in intimate relationships. Pers. Relat. 1 275–300. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00066.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Gu R., Huang W., Camilleri J., Xu P., Wei P., Eickhoff S. B., et al. (2019). Love is analogous to money in human brain: COORDINATE-based and functional connectivity meta-analyses of social and monetary reward anticipation. Neurosci. Biobehav. Rev. 100 108–128. 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2019.02.017 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Guéguen N., Lamy L. (2012). Men’s social status and attractiveness. Swiss J. Psychol. 71 157–160. 10.1024/1421-0185/a000083 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Guttmann J., Rosenberg M. (2003). Emotional intimacy and children’s adjustment: a comparison between single-parent divorced and intact families. Educ. Psychol. 23 457–472. 10.1080/01443410303213 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Ha H.-Y., Perks H. (2005). Effects of consumer perceptions of brand experience on the web: brand familiarity, satisfaction and brand trust. J. Consum. Behav. 4 438–452. 10.1002/cb.29 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Ha T., Overbeek G., Engels R. C. M. E. (2010). Effects of attractiveness and social status on dating desire in heterosexual adolescents: an experimental study. Arch. Sex. Behav. 39 1063–1071. 10.1007/s10508-009-9561-z [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hagen E. (1999). The functions of postpartum depression. Evol. Hum. Behav. 20 325–359. [ Google Scholar ]
• Halloran T. (2014). The Eight Phases of Brand Love. Available online at: https://hbr.org/2014/02/the-eight-phases-of-brand-love (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Harlow H. F. (1958). Classics in the History of Psychology. New York, NY: York University. [ Google Scholar ]
• Haskett M. E., Johnson C. A., Miller J. W. (1994). Individual differences in risk of child abuse by adolescent mothers: assessment in the perinatal period. J. Child Psychol. Psychiatry 35 461–476. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hatfield E., Brinton C., Cornelius J. (1989). Passionate love and anxiety in young adolescents. Motiv. Emot. 13 271–289. 10.1007/BF00995539 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hatfield E., Cacioppo J. T., Rapson R. L. (1994). Emotional contagion. Curr. Dir. Psychol. Sci. 2 96–99. 10.1111/1467-8721.ep10770953 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hatfield E., Sprecher S. (1986). Measuring passionate love in intimate relationships. J. Adolesc. 9 383–410. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hay E. L., Fingerman K. L., Lefkowitz E. S. (2007). The experience of worry in parent–adult child relationships. Pers. Relat. 14 605–622. 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00174.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hazan C., Shaver P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 52 511–524. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick C., Hendrick S. (1986). A theory and method of love. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 50 392–402. 10.1037/0022-3514.50.2.392 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick C., Hendrick S. S. (1989). Research on love: Does it measure up? J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 56 784–794. [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick C., Hendrick S. S., Zacchilli T. L. (2011). Respect and love in romantic relationships. Actas Investig. Psicol. 1 316–329. [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick S. S., Hendrick C. (1993). Lovers as friends. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 10 459–466. 10.1177/0265407593103011 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick S. S., Hendrick C. (2006). Measuring respect in close relationships. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 23 881–899. 10.1177/0265407506070471 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hendrick S. S., Hendrick C., Logue E. M. (2010). Respect and the family. J. Fam. Theory Rev. 2 126–136. 10.1111/j.1756-2589.2010.00046.x [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Honari B., Saremi A. A. (2015). The study of relationship between attachment styles and obsessive love style. Procedia Soc. Behav. Sci. 165 152–159. 10.1016/J.SBSPRO.2014.12.617 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hooks P. J. (1990). The real mother-issues in adoption. Jefferson J. Psychiatry 8 : 8 10.29046/JJP.008.2.005 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Huang S.-M., Fang S.-R., Fang S.-C., Huang C.-C. (2016). The influences of brand benefits on brand loyalty: intermediate mechanisms. Aust. J. Manage. 41 141–160. 10.1177/0312896214553516 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Hughes D. A. (1999). Adopting children with attachment problems. Child Welf. 78 541–560. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Jin W., Xiang Y., Lei M. (2017). The deeper the love, the deeper the hate. Front. Psychol. 8 : 1940 . 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01940 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Karandashev V. (2015). Unit 5 social psychology and culture subunit 4 interpersonal and intergroup relations article 2 6-1-2015 recommended citation Karandashev. Online Read. Psychol. Cult. 5 10.9707/2307-0919.1135 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Karandashev V., Fata B. (2014). Change in physical attraction in early romantic relationships. Interpers. Int. J. Pers. Relatsh. 8 257–267. 10.5964/ijpr.v8i2.167 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Kim C. K., Han D., Park S.-B. (2001). The effect of brand personality and brand identification on brand loyalty: applying the theory of social identification. Jpn. Psychol. Res. 43 195–206. 10.1111/1468-5884.00177 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Kim-Spoon J., Longo G. S., McCullough M. E. (2012). Adolescents who are less religious than their parents are at risk for externalizing and internalizing symptoms: the mediating role of parent-adolescent relationship quality. J. Fam. Psychol. 26 636–641. 10.1037/a0029176 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Klaus M. H., Jerauld R., Kreger N. C., McAlpine W., Steffa M., Kennell J. H. (1972). Maternal attachment. N. Engl. J. Med. 286 460–463. 10.1056/NEJM197203022860904 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Kunce L. J., Shaver P. R. (1994). “ An attachment-theoretical approach to caregiving in romantic relationships ,” in Advances in Personal Relationships, Attachment Processes in Adulthood , Vol. 5 eds Bartholomew, Perlman D. (London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers; ), 205–237. [ Google Scholar ]
• Laborde N. D., vanDommelen-Gonzalez E., Minnis A. M. (2014). Trust - that’s a big one: intimate partnership values among urban Latino youth. Cult. Health Sex. 16 1009–1022. 10.1080/13691058.2014.921837 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• LaFollette H., Graham G. (1986). Honesty and intimacy. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 3 3–18. 10.1177/0265407586031001 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Larzelere R. E., Huston T. L. (1980). The dyadic trust scale: toward understanding interpersonal trust in close relationships. J. Marriage Fam. 42 595–604. 10.2307/351903 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Laurenceau J.-P., Barrett L. F., Rovine M. J. (2005). The interpersonal process model of intimacy in marriage: a daily-diary and multilevel modeling approach. J. Fam. Psychol. 19 314–323. 10.1037/0893-3200.19.2.314 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Laurenceau J.-P., Feldman Barrett L., Pietromonaco P. R. (1998). Intimacy as an interpersonal process& quot; the importance of self-disclosure, partner disclosure, and perceived partner responsiveness in interpersonal exchanges. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 74 1238–1251. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Lauricella A. M. (2009). Why do Mommy and Daddy Love You More? An Investigation of Parental Favoritism from an Evolutionary Perspective. Available online at: https://etd.ohiolink.edu/rws_etd/document/get/bgsu1250869200/inline (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Lindo J. M., Schaller J., Hansen B. (2013). Economic Downturns and Child Abuse. NBER Working Paper No. 18994 Cambridge, MA: National Bureau of Economic Research. [ Google Scholar ]
• Lindsey D., Sarah B. (2010). Interpreting honor crimes: the institutional disregard towards female victims of family violence in the Middle East. Int. J. Criminol. Sociol. Theory 3 . [ Google Scholar ]
• Luchies L. B., Rusbult C. E., Kumashiro M., Eastwick P. W., Coolsen M. K., Finkel E. J. (2013). Trust and biased memory of transgressions in romantic relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 104 673–694. 10.1037/a0031054 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Luhmann N. (1979). Trust and Power. New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. [ Google Scholar ]
• Luo S., Zhang G. (2009). What leads to romantic attraction: similarity. Reciprocity, security, or beauty? Evidence from a speed-dating study. J. Personal. 77 933–964. 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2009.00570.x [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Lutz-Zois C. J., Bradley A. C., Mihalik J. L., Moorman-Eavers E. R. (2006). Perceived similarity and relationship success among dating couples: an idiographic approach. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 23 865–880. 10.1177/0265407506068267 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Mann J. (1992). “ Nurturance or negligence: maternal psychology and behavioral preference among preterm twins ,” in The Adapted Mind , eds Barkow J., Cosmides L., Tooby J. (New York, NY: Oxford University Press; ), 367–390. [ Google Scholar ]
• Manne S., Ostroff J., Rini C., Fox K., Goldstein L., Grana G. (2004). The interpersonal process model of intimacy: the role of self-disclosure, partner disclosure, and partner responsiveness in interactions between breast cancer patients and their partners. J. Fam. Psychol. 18 589–599. 10.1037/0893-3200.18.4.589 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Masuda M. (2003). Meta-analyses of love scales: Do various love scales measure the same psychological constructs? Jpn. Psychol. Res. 45 25–37. 10.1111/1468-5884.00030 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Mathes E. W., Severa N. (1981). Jealousy, romantic love, and liking: theoretical considerations and preliminary scale development. Psychol. Rep. 49 23–31. 10.2466/pr0.1981.49.1.23 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• McKelvie S. J., Matthews S. J. (1976). Effects of physical attractiveness and favourableness of character on liking. Psychol. Rep. 38 1223–1230. 10.2466/pr0.1976.38.3c.1223 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Meisenzahl J. (2017). Correlation of Brand Experience and Brand Love Using the Example of FlixBus. Master’s thesis, Seinajok University of Applied Sciences, Seinäjoki. [ Google Scholar ]
• Meyers S. A., Berscheid E. (1997). The language of love: the difference a preposition makes. Pers. Soc. Psychol. Bull. 23 347–362. 10.1177/0146167297234002 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Mikulincer M. (2006). “ Attachment, caregiving, and sex within romantic relationships a behavioral systems perspective ,” in Dynamics of Romantic Love: Attachment, Caregiving, and Sex , eds Mikulincer M., Goodman G. S. (New York, NY: Guilford Publications; ), 23–44. [ Google Scholar ]
• Montoya R. M., Horton R. S., Kirchner J. (2008). Is actual similarity necessary for attraction? A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 25 889–922. 10.1177/0265407508096700 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Moreland R. L., Zajonc R. B. (1982). Exposure effects in person perception: Familiarity, similarity, and attraction. J. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 18 395–415. 10.1016/0022-1031(82)90062-2 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Morris D. (1982). “ Attachment and intimacy ,” in Intimacy , eds Fischer M., Stricter G. (Boston, MA: Springer; ), 305–323. 10.1007/978-1-4684-4160-4_19 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Morry M. M. (2005). Relationship satisfaction as a predictor of similarity ratings: a test of the attraction-similarity hypothesis. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 22 561–584. 10.1177/0265407505054524 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Neto F. (2012). Compassionate love for a romantic partner, love styles and subjective well-being. Interpers. Int. J. Pers. Relatsh. 6 23–39. 10.5964/ijpr.v6i1.88 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Noriuchi M., Kikuchi Y. (2013). [Neural basis of maternal behavior]. Seishin Shinkeigaku Zasshi 115 630–634. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Noriuchi M., Kikuchi Y., Senoo A. (2008). The functional neuroanatomy of maternal love: mother’s response to infant’s attachment behaviors. Biol. Psychiatry 63 415–423. 10.1016/j.biopsych.2007.05.018 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Norton M., Frost J., Ariely D., Reis H., Maniaci M., Caprariello P., et al. (2015). When does familiarity promote versus undermine interpersonal attraction? A proposed integrative model from erstwhile adversaries. Perspect. Psychol. Sci. 10 3–19. 10.1177/1745691614561682 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Oleson M. D. (1996). Adolescents’ Recollection of Early Physical Contact: Implications for Attachment and Intimacy. Master’s thesis, Utah State University, Logan, UT. [ Google Scholar ]
• Orosz G., Szekeres Á., Kiss Z. G., Farkas P., Roland-Lévy C. (2015). Elevated romantic love and jealousy if relationship status is declared on Facebook. Front. Psychol. 6 : 214 10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00214 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Papp L. M., Cummings E. M., Goeke-Morey M. C. (2009). For richer, for poorer: money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Fam. Relat. 58 91–103. 10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00537.x [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Park C. W., MacInnis D. J., Eisingerich A. B. (2016). Brand Admiration: Building a Business People Love , 1st Edn Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. [ Google Scholar ]
• Park C. W., Macinnis D. J., Priester J., Eisingerich A. B., Iacobucci D. (2010). Brand attachment and brand attitude strength: conceptual and empirical differentiation of two critical brand equity drivers. J. Mark. 74 1–17. [ Google Scholar ]
• Pascual C. O., Académico C. (2015). María del Rosario Zulaica López TRABAJO FIN DE GRADO Brand Awareness and Brand Love. Is the too-of-Mind the Most Loved On? An Application to Fashion Retailers. Available online at: https://biblioteca.unirioja.es/tfe_e/TFE001238.pdf (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Pedeliento G., Andreini D., Bergamaschi M., Salo J. (2016). Brand and product attachment in an industrial context: the effects on brand loyalty. Ind. Mark. Manage. 53 194–206. 10.1016/J.INDMARMAN.2015.06.007 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Péloquin K., Brassard A., Delisle G., Bédard M.-M. (2013). Integrating the attachment, caregiving, and sexual systems into the understanding of sexual satisfaction. Can. J. Behav. Sci. 45 185–195. 10.1037/a0033514 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rauschnabel P. A., Ahuvia A. C. (2014). You’re so lovable: anthropomorphism and brand love. J. Brand Manage. 21 372–395. 10.1057/bm.2014.14 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Regan P. C., Berscheid E. (1999). Lust: What we Know about Human Sexual Desire. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. 10.4135/9781452233727 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Reis H. T., Shaver P. (1988). “ Intimacy as an interpersonal process ,” in Handbook of Personal Relationships: Theory, Research and Interventions , eds Duck S., Hay D. F., Hobfoll S. E., Ickes W., Montgomery B. M. (Oxford: John Wiley & Sons; ), 367–389. [ Google Scholar ]
• Rempel J. K., Holmes J. G. (1985). Trust in close relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 49 95–112. 10.1037/0022-3514.49.1.95 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rodriguez L. M., DiBello A. M., Øverup C. S., Neighbors C. (2015). The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse. Partner Abuse 6 298–319. 10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rohde P. A., Atzwanger K., Butovskaya M., Lampert A., Mysterud I., Sanchez-Andres A., et al. (2003). Perceived parental favoritism, closeness to kin, and the rebel of the family The effects of birth order and sex. Evol. Hum. Behav. 24 261–276. 10.1016/S1090-5138(03)00033-3 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rubin Z. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 16 265–273. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rusbult C. E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: a test of the investment model. J. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 16 172–186. 10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Rusbult C. E., Bissonnette V. L., Arriaga X. B., Cox C. L., Weiss R. L. (1998). “ Accommodation processes during the early years of marriage ,” in The Developmental Course of Marital Dysfunction , ed. Bradbury T. N. (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press; ), 74–113. 10.1017/CBO9780511527814.005 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Russo B., Boess S., Hekkert P. (2011). ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ the experience of love in person-product relationships. Des. J. 14 8–27. 10.2752/175630610X12877385838687 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Saegert S., Swap W., Zajonc R. B. (1973). Exposure, context, and interpersonal attraction. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 25 234–242. 10.1037/h0033965 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sailor J. L. (2013). A phenomenological study of falling out of romantic love. Qual. Rep. 18 1–22. [ Google Scholar ]
• Salazar L. R. (2015). Exploring the relationship between compassion, closeness, trust, and social support in same-sex friendships. J. Happiness Well Being 3 15–29. [ Google Scholar ]
• Salmon C. A., Shackelford T. K., Michalski R. L. (2012). Birth order, sex of child, and perceptions of parental favoritism. 52 357–362. 10.1016/j.paid.2011.10.033 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Seshadri K. G. (2016). The neuroendocrinology of love. Indian J. Endocrinol. Metab. 20 558–563. 10.4103/2230-8210.183479 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Setyawan A. A., Kussudiyarsana I. (2015). Brand trust and brand loyalty, an empirical study in indonesia consumers. Br. J. Mark. Stud. 4 37–47. [ Google Scholar ]
• Siennick S. E. (2013). Still the Favorite? Parents’ differential treatment of siblings entering young adulthood. J. Marriage Fam. 75 981–994. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Simpson J. A. (2007). Foundations of Interpersonal Trust: Handbook of Basic Principles. New York, NY: Guilford. [ Google Scholar ]
• Singh R., Goh A., Sankaran K., Bhullar N. (2016). Similarity and liking effects on interpersonal attraction: test of the two-dimensional trust-respect model. Psychologia 59 1–18. 10.2117/psysoc.2016.1 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Singh R., Wegener D. T., Sankaran K., Singh S., Lin P. K. F., Seow M. X., et al. (2015). On the importance of trust in interpersonal attraction from attitude similarity. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 32 829–850. 10.1177/0265407515576993 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sinha A. K. (2017). Impact of product innovation in building brand equity on consumer’s choice with a focus on brand resonance. Int. J. Innov. Manage. Technol. 8 482–487. 10.18178/ijimt.2017.8.6.775 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sprecher S., Christopher F. S., Cate R. (2006). “ Sexuality in close relationships ,” in The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , eds Vangelisti A. L., Perlman D. (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press; ), 463–482. 10.1017/CBO9780511606632.026 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sprecher S., Fehr B. (2005). Compassionate love for close others and humanity. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 22 629–651. 10.1177/0265407505056439 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Stanley S. M., Rhoades G. K., Whitton S. W. (2010). Commitment: functions, formation, and the securing of romantic attachment. J. Fam. Theory Rev. 2 243–257. 10.1111/j.1756-2589.2010.00060.x [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Steinberg L. D., Catalano R., Dooley D. (1981). Economic antecedents of child abuse and neglect. Child Dev. 52 975–985. 10.2307/1129102 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sternberg R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychol. Rev. 93 119–135. 10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sternberg R. J. (1997). Construct validation of a triangular love scale. Eur. J. Soc. Psychol. 27 313–335. 10.1007/s10936-019-09661-y [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sternberg R. J., Grajek S. (1984). The nature of love. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 47 312–329. 10.1037/0022-3514.47.2.312 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Stokburger-Sauer N., Ratneshwar S., Sen S., Howard B. K., Chair W. B. (2008). Drivers of consumer-brand identification. Int. J. Res. Mark. 35 . [ Google Scholar ]
• Suitor J. J., Pillemer K. (2007). Mothers’ favoritism in later life. Res. Aging 29 32–55. 10.1177/0164027506291750 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sullivan R., Perry R., Sloan A., Kleinhaus K., Burtchen N. (2011). Infant bonding and attachment to the caregiver: insights from basic and clinical science. Clin. Perinatol. 38 643–655. 10.1016/j.clp.2011.08.011 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Sykes R. E., Larntz K., Fox J. C. (1976). Proximity and similarity effects on frequency of interaction in a class of naval recruits. Sociometry 39 263 10.2307/2786519 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Tedam P. (2014). Witchcraft branding and the abuse of African children in the UK: causes, effects and professional intervention. Early Child Dev. Care 184 1403–1414. 10.1080/03004430.2014.901015 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Thomson M., MacInnis D. J., Whan Park C. (2005). The ties that bind: measuring the strength of consumers’ emotional attachments to brands. J. Consum. Psychol. 15 77–91. 10.1207/S15327663JCP1501_10 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Tobore T. (2018). On the Principles of Social Gravity: How Human Systems Work, from the Family to the United Nations. Delaware, DE: Vernon Press. [ Google Scholar ]
• Towner S. L., Dolcini M. M., Harper G. W. (2015). Romantic relationship dynamics of urban african american adolescents: patterns of monogamy, commitment, and trust. Youth Soc. 47 343–373. 10.1177/0044118X12462591 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Turgut M. U., Gultekin B. (2015). The critical role of brand love in clothing brands. J. Bus. Econ. Finance 4 : 126 10.17261/Pressacademia.201519963 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Wetzel C. G., Insko C. A. (1982). The similarity-attraction relationship: Is there an ideal one? J. Exp. Soc. Psychol. 18 253–276. 10.1016/0022-1031(82)90053-1 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Whang Y.-O., Allen J., Sahoury N., Zhang H. (2004). “ Falling in love with a product: the structure of a romantic consumer-product relationship ,” in Advances in Consumer Research , eds Kahn B. E., Luce M. F. (Valdosta, GA: Association for Consumer Research; ), 320–327. [ Google Scholar ]
• Whitley B. E. (1993). Reliability and aspects of the construct validity of sternberg’s triangular love scale. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 10 475–480. 10.1177/0265407593103013 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Wieselquist J., Rusbult C. E., Foster C. A., Agnew C. R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 77 942–966. 10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Wilson S., Morse J. M., Penrod J. (1998). Developing reciprocal trust in the caregiving relationship. Qual. Health Res. 8 446–465. 10.1177/104973239800800402 [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Yasin M., Shamim A. (2013). Brand love: mediating role in purchase intentions and word-of-mouth. IOSR J. Bus. Manage. 7 101–109. [ Google Scholar ]
• Zarantonello L., Romani S., Grappi S., Bagozzi R. P. (2016). Brand hate. J. Prod. Brand Manage. 25 11–25. 10.1108/JPBM-01-2015-0799 [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
• Zhou L. (2017). The Aquila Digital Community How Visual Communication Strategies, Brand Familiarity, And Personal Relevance Influence Instagram Users’ Responses To Brand Content. Graphic Communications Commons. Available online at: https://aquila.usm.edu/dissertationshttps://aquila.usm.edu/dissertations/1435 (accessed February 22, 2020). [ Google Scholar ]
• Zimmerman K. J., Smith J. M., Simonson K., Myers B. W. (2015). Familial relationship outcomes of coming out as an atheist. Secular. Nonrelig. 4 1–13. 10.5334/snr.aw [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]

• Search Please fill out this field.
• Newsletters
• Sweepstakes

Taylor Swift's teenage love triangle songs on Folklore explained

It wouldn't be a Taylor Swift album release if it didn't spawn theory after theory about who or what each song is about.

And although Swift has been characteristically mum on the particulars of most of the songs on Folklore , there are three that she's revealed quite a bit about: the triptych of songs exploring young love that she refers to as "The Teenage Love Triangle."

During the release of the music video for the album's first single, "Cardigan," Swift joined fans on YouTube to answer some questions about the song and the new album, which dropped at the same time. At one point, she wrote, "One thing I did purposely on this album was put the Easter eggs in the lyrics, more than just the videos. I created character arcs & recurring themes that map out who is singing about who."

Her note continued, "For example, there's a collection of 3 songs I refer to as The Teenage Love Triangle. These 3 songs explore a love triangle from all 3 people's perspectives at different times in their lives."

Okay, so Swift hasn't explicitly said which three songs on the 16-track album she's referring to, but based on the lyrics and the singer-songwriter's own explanations, we think we've figured it out. So what are the three songs, who (if anyone) are they about, and what happens in each? Let's break it down:

"Betty"

Starting with "Betty" seems to be a natural choice here, as it's the song that provides the most direct information about the affair, including some of the names of our characters and several high school references, leaving no doubt that it's told from a teenager's perspective. First things first: Although the three names mentioned in the song—Betty, James, and Inez—are a playful nod to her friends Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds ' daughters, the song is not about them (that'd be weird). In her album intro , Swift says that her imagination ran wild when writing the album: "I found myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of people I've never met, people I've known, or those I wish I hadn't." Her admission on YouTube that she "created character arcs" with regard to the Teenage Love Triangle would seem to suggest those three songs fall into the former category: songs about people she's never met.

Moving on to the song itself, "Betty" seems like James' account of how the affair started, and their attempts to win Betty back by showing up to her party unannounced and apologizing. "Would you tell me to go f--- myself/Or lead me to the garden?/In the garden, would you trust me/If I told you it was just a summer thing?/I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything/But I know I miss you," James tells us. In the bridge, it's explained that the affair between James and the unknown girl started as James was "walking home on broken cobblestones" and she pulled up in her car. "She said 'James, get in, let's drive'/Those days turned into nights/Slept next to her, but/I dreamt of you all summer long," Swift sings.

The song makes a reference to someone named Inez ("You heard the rumors from Inez/You can't believe a word she says/Most times, but this time it was true"), and some fans have taken that to mean she's the "other woman" in the love affair, but it's more likely that Inez is just the local gossip. After all, it'd be pretty weird to start rumors about your own affair to the face of the other woman involved.

The song ends with James on Betty's front porch, preparing to apologize, but it's not clear (at least in this song) how Betty responds, but importantly, there is a reference to her cardigan: "Standing in your cardigan/Kissin' in my car again/Stopped at a streetlight/You know I miss you." Which brings us to...

"Cardigan"

Remember how Swift said she put "recurring themes that map out who is singing about who" in the three songs? That reference in "Betty" to a cardigan feels pretty obvious here, but "Cardigan" has other bits of imagery that pop up in the other two songs. For instance, the cobblestones from "Betty" also appear at the start of this song: "Vintage tee, brand new phone/High heels on cobblestones/When you are young, they assume you know nothing." And there's a reference to kissing in cars later in the song, as well. Swift tells us in her album intro that one of the images she was inspired by was "a cardigan that still bears the scent of loss 20 years later." From that, we can infer that this time around, we're getting the perspective of the cardigan-wearing Betty—the girl that was cheated on—as she reminisces 20 years year later about her lost young love. In it, she tells us that she knew James would come back to her, and even makes a reference to the failed apology: "I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired/And you'd be standin' in my front porch light/And I knew you'd come back to me." It seems then, that even though the love left an indelible mark on her, as young love often does, Betty walked away with the upper hand.

"August"

And finally, we make it to the song told from the perspective of the "other woman." In her intro, Swift only says of this song that she was inspired by the image of "the sun-drenched month of August, sipped away like a bottle of wine." So how do we know this is the third song in the teenage love triangle trio? Once again, it's the recurring images Swift uses to paint the picture, and we can infer that it's told from the other woman's perspective because she repeatedly refers to the fling as something that was "never mine." As far as similar imagery goes, in "Betty," James tells us the affair "was just a summer thing," and in "August" the narrator says, "So much for summer love and saying 'us.'" The car scene referenced in "Betty" is also mentioned again here, but from the woman's perspective: "Remember when I pulled up and said 'Get in the car'/And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?" And, even though it's not mentioned in the other two songs, it's worth mentioning that a meeting at the mall is referred to multiple times in this song, which is about as "summer teenage romance" as you can get.

Like "Cardigan," "August" feels like a song told from a point in the future (albeit an indeterminate one) from a woman who is reminiscing on a lost love, while "Betty" is told from the point in time during which the affair took place. In short, the three teens were caught up in a summer love affair that left its mark on each of them but ultimately ended with all three going separate ways.

It should be noted that James' gender is never explicitly stated, and in keeping with that tradition, they were not given a gender here. I have my own theories, namely that Swift's use of male-oriented metaphors in "Cardigan"—"I knew you/Tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy, I/I knew you/Leavin' like a father"—suggests that James is male. But far be it from me to take those sapphic love story theories away from you, dear readers.

After all, as Swift herself notes in her album intro, folklore is something that is "passed down and whispered around," and "the lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible." This is just one of many attempts to pass down the stories Swift has given us.

Related content:

• The best lyrics off Taylor Swift's Folklore
• Taylor Swift's 'Mad Woman' picks up where 'The Man' left off
• The wild true story behind Taylor Swift's 'The Last Great American Dynasty'

Related Articles