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An Age-By-Age Guide to Helping Kids Manage Homework
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Do you ever wonder whether homework is gauging the child’s ability to complete assignments or the parent’s? On one end of the spectrum, a parent might never mention homework and assume it gets done independently; on the other end are the parents who micromanage to be sure every worksheet is absolutely perfect.
Being too laissez faire about homework might deny a child the support they need to develop executive functioning skills, but being too involved could stifle their independence. So how much parent participation in homework is actually appropriate throughout a child’s education?
Basic homework tips
According to Scholastic , you should follow these rules of thumb to support your child during homework (without going overboard):
Stay nearby and available for questions without getting right in the middle of homework.
Avoid the urge to correct mistakes unless your child asks for help.
Instead of nagging, set up a homework routine with a dedicated time and place.
Teach time management for a larger project by helping them break it into chunks.
Child psychologist Dr. Emily W. King recently wrote about rethinking homework in her newsletter. King explains at what ages kids are typically able to do homework independently, but she writes that each child’s ability to concentrate at the end of the day and use executive functioning skills for completing tasks is very individual. I talked to her for more information on how much parental involvement in homework completion is needed, according to a child’s age and grade level.
Kindergarten to second grade
Whether children even need homework this early is a hot debate. Little ones are still developing fine motor skills and their ability to sit still and pay attention at this age.
“If a child is given homework before their brain and body are able to sit and focus independently, then we are relying on the parent or other caregivers to sit with the child to help them focus,” King said. “ Think about when the child is able to sit and focus on non-academic tasks like dinner, art, or music lessons. This will help you tease out executive functioning skills from academic understanding.”
Elementary-age children need time for unstructured play and structured play like music, arts, and sports. They need outside time, free time, and quiet time, King said. For children who are not ready for independent work, nightly reading with another family member is enough “homework,” she said.
Third to fifth grades
Many children will be able to do homework independently in grades 3-5. Even then, their ability to focus and follow through may vary from day to day.
“Most children are ready for practicing independent work between third and fifth grade, but maybe not yet in the after-school hours when they are tired and want to rest or play. We need to begin exposing children to organization and structure independently in late elementary school to prepare them for more independence in middle school,” King said.
Neurodivergent kids may need more parental support for several years before they work independently.
“Neurodivergent children, many of whom have executive functioning weaknesses, are not ready to work independently in elementary school. Children without executive functioning weaknesses (e.g., the ability to remain seated and attend to a task independently) are able to do this somewhere between third and fifth grade, but it’s very possible they can work independently at school but be too tired to do it later in the afternoon,” King said. “We need to follow the child’s skills and give them practice to work independently when they seem ready. Of course, if a child wants to do extra work after school due to an interest, go for it.”
For students who are not ready to work independently in middle school, it is better to reduce the amount of homework they are expected to complete so they can practice independence and feel successful.
Middle school
In sixth grade and later, kids are really developing executive functioning skills like planning, organizing, paying attention, initiating, shifting focus, and execution. They will still need your encouragement to keep track of assignments, plan their time, and stick to a homework routine.
“Middle school students need lots of organization support and putting systems in place to help them keep track of assignments, due dates, and materials,” King said.
High school
By this point, congratulations: You can probably be pretty hands-off with homework. Remain open and available if your teen needs help negotiating a problem, but executing plans should be up to them now.
“In high school, parents are working to put themselves out of a job and begin stepping back as children take the lead on homework. Parents of high schoolers are ‘homework consultants,’” King said. “We are there to help solve problems, talk through what to say in an email to a teacher, but we are not writing the emails or talking to the teachers for our kids.”
What if homework is not working for them (or you)
There are a number of reasons a child might not be managing homework at the same level as their peers, including academic anxiety and learning disabilities.
If your child is showing emotional distress at homework time, it might be a sign that they have run out of gas from the structure, socialization, and stimulation they have already been through at school that day. One way to support kids is to teach them how to have a healthy balance of work and play time.
“When we ask students to keep working after school when their tank is on empty, we likely damage their love of learning and fill them with dread for tomorrow,” King wrote in her newsletter.
King said in her experience as a child psychologist, the amount of homework support a child needs is determined by their individual abilities and skills more than their age or grade level.
“All of these steps vary for a neurodivergent child and we are not following these guidelines by age or grade but rather by their level of skills development to become more independent,” she said. “In order to independently complete homework, a child must be able to have attended to the directions in class, brought the materials home, remember to get the materials out at home, remember to begin the task, understand the task, remain seated and attention long enough to complete the task, be able to complete the task, return the work to their backpack, and return the work to the teacher. If any of these skills are weak or the child is not able to do these independently, there will be a breakdown in the system of homework. You can see why young students and neurodivergent students would struggle with this process.”
If you and your child have trouble meeting homework expectations, talk to their teacher about what could be contributing to the problem and how to modify expectations for them.
“Get curious about your child’s skill level at that time of day,” King said. “Are they able to work independently at school but not at home? Are they not able to work independently any time of day? Are they struggling with this concept at school, too? When are they successful?”
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How to help your kids with homework (without doing it for them)
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Parents are a child’s first and most important teachers . Parent involvement in their child’s learning can help improve how well they do in school. However, when it comes to helping kids with homework, it’s not so simple.
While it’s important to show support and model learning behaviour, there is a limit to how much help you can give without robbing your child of the opportunity to learn for themselves.
Be involved and interested
An analysis of more than 400 research studies found parent involvement, both at school and at home, could improve students’ academic achievement, engagement and motivation.
School involvement includes parents participating in events such as parent-teacher conferences and volunteering in the classroom. Home involvement includes parents talking with children about school, providing encouragement, creating stimulating environments for learning and finally – helping them with homework.
Read more: What to do at home so your kids do well at school
The paper found overall, it was consistently beneficial for parents to be involved in their child’s education, regardless of the child’s age or socioeconomic status. However, this same analysis also suggested parents should be cautious with how they approach helping with homework.
Parents helping kids with homework was linked to higher levels of motivation and engagement, but lower levels of academic achievement. This suggests too much help may take away from the child’s responsibility for their own learning.
Help them take responsibility
Most children don’t like homework. Many parents agonise over helping their children with homework. Not surprisingly, this creates a negative emotional atmosphere that often results in questioning the value of homework.
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Homework has often been linked to student achievement, promoting the idea children who complete it will do better in school. The most comprehensive analysis on homework and achievement to date suggests it can influence academic achievement (like test scores), particularly for children in years seven to 12.
But more research is needed to find out about how much homework is appropriate for particular ages and what types are best to maximise home learning.
Read more: Too much help with homework can hinder your child's learning progress
When it comes to parent involvement, research suggests parents should help their child see their homework as an opportunity to learn rather than perform. For example, if a child needs to create a poster, it is more valuable the child notes the skills they develop while creating the poster rather than making the best looking poster in the class.
Instead of ensuring their child completes their homework, it’s more effective for parents to support their child to increase confidence in completing homework tasks on their own.
Here are four ways they can do this.
1. Praise and encourage your child
Your positivity will make a difference to your child’s approach to homework and learning in general. Simply, your presence and support creates a positive learning environment.
Our study involved working with recently arrived Afghani mothers who were uncertain how to help their children with school. This was because they said they could not understand the Australian education system or speak or write in English.
However, they committed to sit next to their children as they completed their homework tasks in English, asking them questions and encouraging them to discuss what they were learning in their first language.
In this way, the parents still played a role in supporting their child even without understanding the content and the children were actively engaged in their learning.
2. Model learning behaviour
Many teachers model what they would like their students to do. So, if a child has a problem they can’t work out, you can sit down and model how you would do it, then complete the next one together and then have the child do it on their own.
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3. Create a homework plan
When your child becomes overly frustrated with their homework, do not force them. Instead, together create a plan to best tackle it:
read and understand the homework task
break the homework task into smaller logical chunks
discuss how much time is required to complete each chunk
work backwards from the deadline and create a timeline
put the timeline where the child can see it
encourage your child to mark completed chunks to see the progress made on the task
4. Make space for homework
Life is busy. Parents can create positive study habits by allocating family time for this. This could mean carving out one hour after dinner for your child to do homework while you engage in a study activity such as reading, rather than watching television and relaxing. You can also create a comfortable and inviting reading space for the child to learn in.
Parents’ ability to support their child’s learning goes beyond homework. Parents can engage their child in discussions, read with them, and provide them with other ongoing learning opportunities (such as going to a museum, watching a documentary or spending time online together).
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How to Help Kids With Homework
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Helping your child with their homework is an opportunity to connect with them and improve their chances of academic success. As a parent, you can reinforce concepts taught in the classroom and nurture good study habits . Helping with homework shows your child that you believe their education is important.
What Is the Best Way I Can Help My Child With Homework?
You don’t need to be a certified teacher or an expert in a subject in order to help with homework. You can help by developing your child's time management skills, introducing strategies to stay organized, and offering words of encouragement.
Here are some homework tips for parents:
- Know their teacher . Attending parent-teacher conferences, getting involved in school events, and knowing how to get in touch with your child’s teacher can help you better understand homework expectations.
- Family study time. Set aside time every day for homework. Some kids do best by jumping into homework right after school, while others need a break and will be better focused after dinner.
- Set a good example. Family study time gives you the opportunity to model studious behavior. Demonstrate the importance of organization and diligence by paying bills or planning your family’s budget during this shared time. Reading while your child completes their homework instills the idea that learning is a lifelong and enjoyable pursuit. Your example will be far more impactful than your lectures.
- Designate a homework space. Having a designated space for homework can help your child stay on task. It should be well lit and have extra school supplies within reach.
- Help with time management. If your student has a lot of homework, encourage them to break the workload into smaller and more manageable tasks. Create a schedule for the evening to ensure they get through their long to-do list , including opportunities for breaks.
- Don’t do the homework for them. Helping your child with homework isn’t the same as doing your child’s homework. You can make suggestions, but your child must do the work for meaningful learning to take place. Have patience, allow them to struggle a little, and resist the urge to simply give them the answers.
How Do I Help a Child Struggling With Homework?
Struggling through challenges is an important part of learning. Research shows that something called “productive struggle” is essential to learning new concepts. Too much struggle, however, can be demoralizing and counterproductive. So where's the line drawn between productive struggling and counterproductive struggling? You know your child better than anyone, so trust your instincts and step in before your student becomes overwhelmed.
Consider these tips if your child's struggling with homework:
- If your child's already stressed out or frustrated, start with taking a break.
- Engage your child in a conversation so you can understand where they're stuck
- Offer hints or guidance to help them move forward
- Resist the urge to do their homework or give them the answers
- As soon as your child understands how to resolve the issue, step back and let them continue without your direct assistance
- Avoid stressful cramming and last-minute panic by helping your student plan ahead for tests and long-term assignments.
- Offer your child encouragement and praise them for their perseverance.
- Work on your own paperwork or read nearby as your child completes their homework to help them stay on task.
- Reach out to the teacher if additional assistance is needed and remind your child to ask questions at school when they're confused
Should I Help My Child With Math Homework?
Math is taught differently now than it was twenty or thirty years ago. The Common Core Standards are used in 41 states, and most other states follow the same principles even if they don’t call them the Common Core. Instead of memorizing specific ways to solve math problems, students today are asked to solve problems in several different ways and explain the strategy they used.
For many parents, their child’s math homework seems complicated and confusing. The goal of this newer method, however, is a deeper understanding of mathematics. Just because you learned math in a different way doesn’t mean you can’t help with math homework.
- Focus on non-academic help . You can help your student by offering encouragement, tracking assignments, and helping with time management. Create a distraction-free time and place for them to focus on their math homework.
- Learn how it’s taught. Understand how math is taught at your child’s school. Some school districts offer parents a math night or online resources to help them better understand the way math is taught at schools.
- Reach out to the teacher. Ask the teacher for insight on how you can support your student at home. They might point you towards resources that align with their curriculum or offer additional help to your student at school.
At What Age Do You Stop Helping With Homework?
Some research has shown that the connection between student achievement and parental involvement in schoolwork is strongest in the elementary years but declines in middle school. By the time your child enters middle school, parents helping with homework can do more harm than good. At this stage, parental help with homework is associated with lower student achievement.
While you should be helping a lot less with homework, middle school isn't the time to retreat from your child's education. Non-homework forms of parent involvement are strongly associated with higher academic achievement. There are many ways you can support your middle schooler’s success.
- Monitor assignments and test scores
- Attend school events
- Participate in parent-teacher conferences
- Ask questions about classes and what your child is learning
- Continue to encourage a regular study time and place at home
Ideally, you laid the groundwork in the elementary years and good study habits are well established by middle school. While your child will outgrow the need for your direct homework assistance, they'll never outgrow the need for your support and encouragement.
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Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Easy & Do-Able Tips for Parents
Tips for Smart Parenting 09/21/2021 11 minute read
Homework is the bane of every student, as it is for the parents.
As a matter of fact, homework is not even necessary in the first place.
Before you react, there are countless studies to validate this claim. But even if we go on a hard-fought, well-thought, debate on whether homework is important or not, homework is here to stay.
That said, helping kids with their take-home assignments is a duty we have to fulfill. But how exactly do we do it?
Below are actionable parenting tips to help your kids with their homework without doing it for them!
You might be interested: How to Support Kids Learning Science and Why it Matters?
Parenting Tips on How to Do Homework with Kids
We used to believe that parental availability and support while kids do their assignments is key for their class success. "The more involved parents are, the better off they would be," so to speak.
But that is a misconception and sometimes may even be counterproductive. As Kathleen Reilly said:
“When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.”
Helping kids with homework means that you offer your support but never treat the assignment like it's your responsibility. It's challenging, but kids need to do homework on their own because the assignments deal with lessons already discussed in class. Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning .
With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents:
1. Work Out a Working Routine
Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure .
This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them.
Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below:
What time should they start? Set a definite time when they should do their homeworks. Will it be right after they arrive from school? Should they play for an hour first? Would they do it after shower time or after dinner?
Where is their homework place? The place they choose is likely the area they feel most comfy working in. That element adds extra help when doing homework. Find a place and stick with it.
If you have multiple kids, distinct routines for each are fine. What matters is that you enforce discipline and commitment to the schedule. Write the details on a sheet of paper and post their routines on the wall!
2. Make a Homework Plan
The routine simply tackles the when and where kids do their assignments. A homework plan focuses on how they do it.
Doing homework needs to be systematic , both for you and the child. Approach homework from a systematic point of view and you save yourselves time and whine.
The example below is the system I found most suited for my children. You can follow it or fashion your own process, whichever works best. Here's what my kids do:
Read the directions of the homework, twice.
Determine the goal and the steps needed to achieve it.
Divide the assignment into several chunks (if logically possible).
Set time limits for each portion and mark each as complete when finished.
Helping kids with homework is not about giving them all the answers. It's about strategizing on how to finish the homework effectively and efficiently.
3. Monitor, Don't Correct
Let's get back to basics .
What is the purpose of homework?
Homework allows teachers to gauge what the students understood in class. That said, mistakes are welcomed.
But since most parents dread the idea of making mistakes, they try to correct each flaw too often all for a perfect remark.
Word of advice: Teachers are well-aware of how your kids perform in class, so they know the truth.
My point is, remove the notion of absolute perfection from your kids.
It's okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn how to correct them on their own ! There should be no pressure on them to avoid mistakes at all costs. Encourage an atmosphere of growth. But, make it clear to your kids they should resolve their mistakes the next time around, once they understand the correct answer.
Do this instead:
Allow your kids to ask you up to 3 questions on their homework. But, be stingy on answering their questions right away.
When they ask, reply to them something like "I can help you once I finish my chores" or "Read it again, I'll be back in a sec."
You might not realize it, but this is one subtle way to help kids with homework. When you delay your aid, you gently force them to reread the directions and rework the problem on their own.
Monitor and ask them probing questions on the reason behind their homework answers.
4. Set an Example to Imitate
Helping kids how to do homework can also mean modeling the behavior to them. This is a parenting hack that most parents fail to practice.
It can be a good motivating factor for the kids if you do chores like budgeting or computing household expenses at the same time they do their assignments.
This is one indirect way to teach kids how to do homework. Set a good example and you'll find them following your footsteps.
5. Don't Sit Beside Them
Sitting and closely monitoring your kids as they answer homework is not at all helpful.
Behind the scenes, it sends a message to their brains that you might think they can't do the work without direct supervision.
Would you like that? Of course not!
Helping kids with their homework should also tap into the emotional aspect of learning. Show them that you trust their brains by letting them do their assignment on their own. Otherwise, you shatter their self-confidence leading to feelings of inferiority.
Here are my suggestions:
Stay nearby, do chores, balance your checks, wash dishes. Basically, just be there for them, without literally sitting beside them.
6. Establish the No-Nonsense Responsibility
Make the duties of each member in the family clear.
Of course, both you and your partner have work responsibilities, and so do the kids! They're expected to be diligent with their responsibilities:
Attend classes
Work with their teachers
And of course... do their homeworks
Once they agreed to a working routine and a homework plan , then there is no turning back. Tell them to buckle their seats until they finish their tasks. Discipline matters just as much as intellect and system when dealing with homework.
7. Teach Them Time Management
Time management is the one of the most important tools for productivity.
Once your kids learn the benefits of being in control of their time, they position themselves to a life of success. Time management is not only relevant for homework. Instilling this behavior is a must from the get-go.
One tip is using an old analog wall clock and coloring in the hour when they should do answer their homework. Once the short arm reaches it, teach them to take initiative to do their tasks.
Help them in sorting the time out too, especially, if there are multiple homework in one seating.
8. Positive Reinforcement is a Great Hack
They say the best way to man's heart is through their stomach. Well, the best way to a child's heart is through snacks and treats . (I made that up)
Instead of threatening them to limit their TV watching time or call their teachers, why not compensate their efforts with some good ol' sweets?
Reinforcing their diligence pushes them more to do it. Scare tactics are not as good as rewards to encourage a behavior. Although, do the positive reinforcement practice sparingly.
Appreciating their efforts is another way to help kids with homework as this motivates them. You can do this by:
Posting their aced assignments or exams
Displaying their art projects on the fridge
It showcases how much you value their efforts and how proud you are of them.
9. Walk Away Once the Whine Fest Starts
How does walking away help kids on how to do homework? Well, it doesn't. It's more for your benefit than them.
Having a rough day at work is physically and mentally exhausting . Add another layer of whining because kids don't want to do their assignments, and you enter a whole new level of stress .
If they keep on complaining, check their homework progress.
If they are only being grumpy even when they can do it, then try to motivate them. Tell them that the sooner they finish, the more time they'd have to watch their favorite TV shows .
If the homework is indeed truly difficult, then lend them a hand.
Ask their teacher about it, especially if the homework is beyond the kid's level of understanding. Inquire if it's appropriate to give kids complex problems. Their teachers would love to hear feedback from parents, on top of that, to aid the pupils with their homework!
10. Let Them Take the Lead
Their Homework is not only a test of one's learning but also of a kid's sense of responsibility .
Their answers should be theirs and they must own up if they fail to do it. If they left their homework at home, then parents shouldn't bail their kids out by bringing their assignments to class.
Matt Vaccaro, a first-grade teacher, says that he makes students do their assignment during recess if they forget to do it at home.
According to him "Once she starts missing playtime, she gets the message."
This seemingly harsh yet rightful way to deal with their negligence actually motivates the kids to be responsible in the succeeding homework.
Helping them how to do homework is as necessary as teaching them to be responsible for it.
11. Keep Your Composure and Carry On
Homework meltdowns do occur, so be ready!
These are children's ways of saying they're overwhelmed . And sometimes these kids are indeed struggling so bad.
Parents, please keep your composure. Breathe and stay calm . You risk compromising their progress if you too burst out in frustration. Remember that homework is an opportunity to cultivate better parent-child relationships .
Here are ways to address homework meltdowns:
A simple hug might do
Speak words of affirmation like "we'll figure it out"
Let them vent out to you while you listen calmly
Sometimes, kids just need to blow off some steam. Catering to these needs are subtle ways of helping kids with homework. See the mood change after they've burst the bubble.
If ever you did lash out (although we hope not). Apologize immediately and tell your child that you both need a timeout for 10 minutes. They can play for within that period and resume working on the homework once the time is up.
Helping kids with homework is a dual purpose. You make homework accomplishment more manageable for them and you make life easier for you. Consider the above homework tips next time your kids have assignments.
The How-to-do-Homework Hack!
Some kids might still see learning as a chore, and that's okay. I mean, who likes to wake up early and be in class when they can play at home all day?
Making the most out of their curiosity helps transform their perception of learning — from a tedious and boring chore to a fun and interactive learning experience. We believe that the way to encourage kids to do their homework is by making them see the fun in learning.
The best way to do this is using educational toys!
The STEMscope portable microscope is a good tool to cultivate your child's curiosity. This handheld science gadget is an all-around partner for your kid's best learning!
Once they activate their curiosity, they develop the insatiable desire to learn, after that, they will see homework as fun learning opportunity!
Check out our complete catalog of science toys to find the best toy for your kid!
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Khan Academy Blog
Making Homework Easier: Tips and Tools for Parents
posted on September 20, 2023
By Stephanie Yamkovenko , group manager of Khan Academy’s Digital Marketing Team.
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Homework can present challenges for parents and children alike. You naturally want to provide support for your child’s learning journey and ensure they are reaching their full potential. In this blog post, we will delve into practical strategies to assist your child with their homework. From fostering understanding and offering encouragement to breaking down tasks and implementing rewards, we will explore a variety of effective approaches to help your child achieve academic success.
Step 1: Set Up Your Child for Success
Your child’s study environment can have a significant impact on their homework performance. Create a space that is free from distractions like the television, smartphones, or noisy siblings. The study space should be comfortable, well lit, and have all the necessary materials your child might need, such as pens, papers, and textbooks. If your child’s workspace is noisy or uncomfortable, they may have difficulty focusing on their homework, resulting in lower productivity.
For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider setting up a designated corner with a small desk or table where your child can focus on their work. You can use dividers or screens to create a sense of privacy and minimize distractions.
If the only place to do homework is in the dining room or kitchen, try to establish a routine where the area is cleared and organized before study time. This can help signal to your child that it’s time to concentrate and be productive.
Remember, it’s important to adapt to your specific circumstances and make the best of the available space. The key is to create a dedicated study area that promotes focus and minimizes interruptions regardless of the size or location of your home.
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Step 2: make it fun.
It’s important to make homework fun and engaging for your child. Here are some examples of how you can do it:
- Use games : Incorporate educational games like card games, board games, or puzzles that align with the subject your child is learning. For instance, use Scrabble to practice spelling or Sudoku to enhance problem-solving skills.
- Turn it into a challenge : Create a friendly competition between siblings or friends by setting goals or time limits for completing assignments. Offer small rewards or incentives for accomplishing tasks.
- Make it interactive : Use hands-on activities or experiments to reinforce concepts learned in class. For science or math, conduct simple experiments at home or use manipulatives like blocks or counters to visualize abstract concepts.
- Use technology : Explore online educational platforms or apps that offer interactive learning experiences. There are various educational games, virtual simulations, and videos available that can make homework more enjoyable.
- Incorporate creativity : Encourage your child to express their understanding through art, storytelling, or multimedia presentations. For example, they can create a comic strip to summarize a story or make a short video to explain a concept.
Remember, by making homework enjoyable, you can help your child develop a positive attitude towards learning.
Step 3: Use Rewards
Rewards can be a powerful motivational tool for children. Offering positive reinforcement can encourage them to complete their homework on time and to the best of their ability.
Here are some examples of rewards our team has used with their children:
- Extra screen time: “I use Apple parental controls to add screen time on their iPad.”
- Access to a favorite toy: “My eight year old has a drum kit, which drives us all up the wall. (Thanks, Grandma!) But when they’ve been doing a lot of school work, we put on headphones and let him go nuts.”
- Praise for a job well done: “Specific, measurable praise is what works best.”
- Trip to the park: “A trip to the park is good for everyone, especially for the kids to run around with the doggos.”
- Movie night: “I know every word and song lyric in Moana ; we now reserve showings for good behavior.”
- Stickers or stamps: “Gold stars were such a thing growing up in the 80s; turns out they still work.”
- Stay up a little later: “An extra 30 minutes feels like a whole day for my young ones; use this reward with caution as it can become the expectation!”
So, celebrate your child’s efforts and encourage them to continue doing their best.
Step 4: Break Down Difficult Tasks
When facing daunting homework assignments, follow these step-by-step instructions to break down the tasks into smaller, manageable chunks:
- Understand the requirements and scope of the task.
- Break down the assignment into individual tasks or sub-tasks.
- Splitting the middle term
- Using formula
- Using Quadratic formula
- Using algebraic identities
- Determine the order in which tasks should be completed based on importance or difficulty.
- Start with the easiest task. Begin with the task that seems the least challenging or time-consuming.
- Progress to more challenging tasks: Once the easier tasks are completed, move on to more difficult ones.
- Take breaks: Schedule short breaks between tasks to avoid burnout and maintain focus.
- Check completed tasks for accuracy and make any necessary revisions.
- Finish the remaining task(s) with the same approach.
- Celebrate small achievements to boost confidence and keep motivation high.
By following these steps, you can make daunting homework assignments more manageable and less overwhelming for your child.
Step 5: Get Targeted Help
If your child is struggling with homework, it might be worth considering seeking personalized assistance. You have the option to search for professional tutors or explore online tutoring platforms, such as Khan Academy’s AI tutor, Khanmigo .
This AI tutor can offer personalized guidance and support tailored to your child’s specific needs, helping them grasp complex concepts and practice essential skills. Incorporating this approach can effectively complement your child’s learning and enhance their homework performance.
Enhance your child’s learning and boost homework performance!
Homework can be a challenge for both parents and children. But with the right approach, you can help your child overcome difficulties and support their learning. Encourage and understand your child, create a comfortable environment, break down difficult tasks, use rewards, get professional help when needed, and make it fun. With these tips and techniques, you can help your child achieve success, develop a love for learning, and achieve academic excellence. Remember that each child learns differently, so it’s essential to adjust your approach to meet their unique needs.
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Strategies to make homework go more smoothly.
Routines and incentive systems to help kids succeed
Writer: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP
Clinical Expert: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP
Here is the best guide to helping kids do homework successfully that we’ve seen, published by the National Association of School Psychologists on their website, NASPonline.org . Our thanks to NASP for sharing it with us.
There are two key strategies parents can draw on to reduce homework hassles. The first is to establish clear routines around homework, including when and where homework gets done and setting up daily schedules for homework. The second is to build in rewards or incentives to use with children for whom “good grades” is not a sufficient reward for doing homework.
Homework Routines
Tasks are easiest to accomplish when tied to specific routines. By establishing daily routines for homework completion, you will not only make homework go more smoothly, but you will also be fostering a sense of order your child can apply to later life, including college and work.
Step 1. Find a location in the house where homework will be done. The right location will depend on your child and the culture of your family. Some children do best at a desk in their bedroom. It is a quiet location, away from the hubbub of family noise. Other children become too distracted by the things they keep in their bedroom and do better at a place removed from those distractions, like the dining room table. Some children need to work by themselves. Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location.
Step 2. Set up a homework center. Once you and your child have identified a location, fix it up as a home office/homework center. Make sure there is a clear workspace large enough to set out all the materials necessary for completing assignments. Outfit the homework center with the kinds of supplies your child is most likely to need, such as pencils, pens, colored markers, rulers, scissors, a dictionary and thesaurus, graph paper, construction paper, glue and cellophane tape, lined paper, a calculator, spell checker, and, depending on the age and needs of your child, a computer or laptop. If the homework center is a place that will be used for other things (such as the dining room table), then your child can keep the supplies in a portable crate or bin. If possible, the homework center should include a bulletin board that can hold a monthly calendar on which your child can keep track of longterm assignments. Allowing children some leeway in decorating the homework center can help them feel at home there, but you should be careful that it does not become too cluttered with distracting materials.
Step 3. Establish a homework time. Your child should get in the habit of doing homework at the same time every day. The time may vary depending on the individual child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in a school mode (i.e., right after school when there is still some momentum left from getting through the day). In general, it may be best to get homework done either before dinner or as early in the evening as the child can tolerate. The later it gets, the more tired the child becomes and the more slowly the homework gets done.
Step 4. Establish a daily homework schedule. In general, at least into middle school, the homework session should begin with your sitting down with your child and drawing up a homework schedule. You should review all the assignments and make sure your child understands them and has all the necessary materials. Ask your child to estimate how long it will take to complete each assignment. Then ask when each assignment will get started. If your child needs help with any assignment , then this should be determined at the beginning so that the start times can take into account parent availability. A Daily Homework Planner is included at the end of this handout and contains a place for identifying when breaks may be taken and what rewards may be earned.
Incentive Systems
Many children who are not motivated by the enjoyment of doing homework are motivated by the high grade they hope to earn as a result of doing a quality job. Thus, the grade is an incentive, motivating the child to do homework with care and in a timely manner. For children who are not motivated by grades, parents will need to look for other rewards to help them get through their nightly chores. Incentive systems fall into two categories: simple and elaborate.
Simple incentive systems. The simplest incentive system is reminding the child of a fun activity to do when homework is done. It may be a favorite television show, a chance to spend some time with a video or computer game, talking on the telephone or instant messaging, or playing a game with a parent. This system of withholding fun things until the drudgery is over is sometimes called Grandma’s Law because grandmothers often use it quite effectively (“First take out the trash, then you can have chocolate chip cookies.”). Having something to look forward to can be a powerful incentive to get the hard work done. When parents remind children of this as they sit down at their desks they may be able to spark the engine that drives the child to stick with the work until it is done.
Elaborate incentive systems. These involve more planning and more work on the part of parents but in some cases are necessary to address more significant homework problems. More complex incentives systems might include a structure for earning points that could be used to “purchase” privileges or rewards or a system that provides greater reward for accomplishing more difficult homework tasks. These systems work best when parents and children together develop them. Giving children input gives them a sense of control and ownership, making the system more likely to succeed. We have found that children are generally realistic in setting goals and deciding on rewards and penalties when they are involved in the decision-making process.
Building in breaks. These are good for the child who cannot quite make it to the end without a small reward en route. When creating the daily homework schedule, it may be useful with these children to identify when they will take their breaks. Some children prefer to take breaks at specific time intervals (every 15 minutes), while others do better when the breaks occur after they finish an activity. If you use this approach, you should discuss with your child how long the breaks will last and what will be done during the breaks (get a snack, call a friend, play one level on a video game). The Daily Homework Planner includes sections where breaks and end-of-homework rewards can be identified.
Building in choice. This can be an effective strategy for parents to use with children who resist homework. Choice can be incorporated into both the order in which the child agrees to complete assignments and the schedule they will follow to get the work done. Building in choice not only helps motivate children but can also reduce power struggles between parents and children.
Developing Incentive Systems
Step 1. Describe the problem behaviors. Parents and children decide which behaviors are causing problems at homework time. For some children putting homework off to the last minute is the problem; for others, it is forgetting materials or neglecting to write down assignments. Still others rush through their work and make careless mistakes, while others dawdle over assignments, taking hours to complete what should take only a few minutes. It is important to be as specific as possible when describing the problem behaviors. The problem behavior should be described as behaviors that can be seen or heard; for instance, complains about h omework or rushes through homework, making many mistakes are better descriptors than has a bad attitude or is lazy.
Step 2. Set a goal. Usually the goal relates directly to the problem behavior. For instance, if not writing down assignments is the problem, the goal might be: “Joe will write down his assignments in his assignment book for every class.”
Step 3. Decide on possible rewards and penalties. Homework incentive systems work best when children have a menu of rewards to choose from, since no single reward will be attractive for long. We recommend a point system in which points can be earned for the goal behaviors and traded in for the reward the child wants to earn. The bigger the reward, the more points the child will need to earn it. The menu should include both larger, more expensive rewards that may take a week or a month to earn and smaller, inexpensive rewards that can be earned daily. It may also be necessary to build penalties into the system. This is usually the loss of a privilege (such as the chance to watch a favorite TV show or the chance to talk on the telephone to a friend).
Once the system is up and running, and if you find your child is earning more penalties than rewards, then the program needs to be revised so that your child can be more successful. Usually when this kind of system fails, we think of it as a design failure rather than the failure of the child to respond to rewards. It may be a good idea if you are having difficulty designing a system that works to consult a specialist, such as a school psychologist or counselor, for assistance.
Step 4. Write a homework contract. The contract should say exactly what the child agrees to do and exactly what the parents’ roles and responsibilities will be. When the contract is in place, it should reduce some of the tension parents and kids often experience around homework. For instance, if part of the contract is that the child will earn a point for not complaining about homework, then if the child does complain, this should not be cause for a battle between parent and child: the child simply does not earn that point. Parents should also be sure to praise their children for following the contract. It will be important for parents to agree to a contract they can live with; that is, avoiding penalties they are either unable or unwilling to impose (e.g., if both parents work and are not at home, they cannot monitor whether a child is beginning homework right after school, so an alternative contract may need to be written).
We have found that it is a rare incentive system that works the first time. Parents should expect to try it out and redesign it to work the kinks out. Eventually, once the child is used to doing the behaviors specified in the contract, the contract can be rewritten to work on another problem behavior. Your child over time may be willing to drop the use of an incentive system altogether. This is often a long-term goal, however, and you should be ready to write a new contract if your child slips back to bad habits once a system is dropped.
Click here to download the homework planner and incentive sheet .
Frequently Asked Questions
To help homework go more smoothly, e stablish a routine that includes a time and place where it will be done, a planner that lists each assignment, scheduled breaks when some of the work is done, and a reward system for kids who are not motivated by good grades alone.
Set a good homework routine following these steps: Find a location in the house where homework will be done. Set up a homework center stocked with needed materials . Establish a homework time. Use a daily homework planner so that your child has everything in writing.
One tool that can make homework go more smoothly i s a Daily Homework Planner , which lists each assignment, how long it should take to complete, and what rewards may be earned for completing each assignment.
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How to Help Your Child With Homework
Put an end to homework tug-of-wars with your child, whether they’re a perfectionist or procrastinator..
Sometimes homework can feel like you’re pulling teeth, especially if your child is resisting. But the truth is, homework hassles are often self-discipline problems in disguise. Setting reasonable limits can help your child get back on track.
Whether your child is a perfectionist or a procrastinator, every student is bound to experience some frustration completing their assignments.
Here’s how to help your child finish their work successfully, whether they’re a perfectionist, procrastinator, disorganized, or striving student.
The Perfectionist
To a certain extent, perfectionists just can't help it.
"Perfectionism can be a wonderful thing to pass on to your child, so parents shouldn't feel badly about it,” says Melanie J. Katzman, associate clinical professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical School in New York City. “But carried to an extreme, it can become debilitating.”
For example, perfectionist kids may anticipate that they’ll never be able to meet their own high standards and ask themselves, “Why bother?”
To keep your child from getting gridlocked while doing homework, help them set realistic achievement goals and praise effort, not grades.
The Procrastinator
Procrastinators find 101 things to do before they actually sit down and start their homework. Often, this means waiting until the last minute then rushing through it.
A child who procrastinates may do so for various reasons: They may be disorganized or have poor study or planning skills, or they may be anxious or angry about something at home or at school, in which case you’ll want to talk to them, their teachers, or a school psychologist to determine why.
To help, work with your child to set goals they can meet and come up with a schedule together (these tips for establishing homework habits can help). You can get ahead of homework or school-related anxieties with these soothing books for coping with worry to share during your nightly read-aloud.
The Disorganized Child
The disorganized child is always "just about" to sit down and start their homework, but then... well, something comes up.
You could tear your hair out over the antics of a child who's disorganized — and they still won't have finished what they need to do. Sometimes the problem may be a learning challenge. Sometimes it's as simple as providing a reasonably quiet, efficient workspace or teaching your child to organize homework materials and allocate time appropriately.
Be careful not to get in your child’s way. If you're always supplying suggestions and reminders, you undermine the whole purpose of homework. The disorganized child will never gain the confidence they need to be self-sufficient.
The Striving Student
Parents of striving students may hear the lament "I'm not smart enough" or "It's just too hard” — especially around 4th or 5th grade, when the amount of homework intensifies and variance between teachers’ instruction styles grows. To keep your child engaged, you need to be a cheerleader. (Here’s how to talk to your child about confidence .)
If your child is genuinely unable to do their homework, you, in tandem with a teacher or school psychologist, must figure out why and enlist the necessary help. A learning difficulty or anxiety over problems at home may be affecting schoolwork, or your child may need more challenging assignments.
Get ready for your child to go back to school with our guide — it's full of recommended books, teacher tips, homework help, and more resources for a successful school year.
Shop inspiring books for motivating your young learner below! You can shop all books and activities at The Scholastic Store .
For more quick tips and book recommendations, sign up for our Scholastic Parents newsletter!
You'll also get 10% off your first order at the Scholastic Store Online.
Don’t Help Your Kids With Homework
Focus on prioritization and process, not the assignment itself.
![help your kid with homework A stressed-out person with a pencil](https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/E1CU4F5wkUXd53BkrKdWM6z9BCc=/0x4:3501x1973/960x540/media/img/mt/2021/03/HOMEWORK1/original.jpg)
So much of the homework advice parents are given is theory-based, and therefore not entirely helpful in the chaos of day-to-day life. People are told that students should have “ grit .” They should “ learn from failure .” But it’s hard to know how to implement these ideas when what you really need is to support a kid who has a chemistry test and two papers due in the next 48 hours but seems to be focused only on Instagram.
Some parents manage to guide their kids through these moments with relative ease. Others hire tutors. The large majority of us, however, are stuck at home alone, trying to stave off our own breakdowns in the face of our children’s.
While reprimanding your child for not having started her homework earlier may be your natural instinct, in the midst of stress, it will only make her shut down or lash out. In our experience as teachers, tutors, and parents, the students who feel terrible about procrastinating are more likely to have anxiety and negative feelings that will only fuel their continued procrastination. So instead of admonishing your procrastinator, take a deep breath and try to figure out how she’s going to manage the tasks at hand. Help her make a realistic plan to manage her time. Try to model understanding, even when you’re upset.
Having tolerance for challenges will allow her to approach future frustrations from a more positive perspective. Easier said than done, to be sure, but try to work with your child to identify not only how but why her homework habits are suffering. This understanding will be crucial to helping her transform these habits into more effective ones.
Read: The cult of homework
![help your kid with homework The cover of Freireich and Platzer's new book](https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/YXLc96z9OX6V-_NPlAOqdaPjE_M=/280x420/media/img/posts/2021/03/book_cover_freireich_and_platzer/original.jpg)
Because most of us are programmed to focus on present rather than future fulfillment, it’s easy to put off something we dread. Kids who procrastinate almost always do so because they have negative associations with or feelings about a particular task. Unfortunately, avoiding assignments usually lowers students’ self-esteem and makes them dislike the topic that much more, resulting in a vicious cycle of procrastination. Therefore, it’s important both to address why students are procrastinating—what’s upsetting them about the work at hand—and to give them practical tools to manage their time and set priorities.
If you’re worried that your child is the only one in her class who takes ages to get started on her homework, fear not. Students in our classes—and our own kids too, just like many of us adults—have found every which way to put off sitting down to tackle the one thing they know they need to get done. There are all kinds of reasons kids avoid doing their homework. Maybe they’re concerned about what a teacher will think, or that their work won’t measure up to a friend’s. Maybe they’re distracted by something that happened in school that day.
Whatever the case may be, the first step here is determining out what’s stressing your child out in the first place.
If your child fears what her teacher will think if she makes mistakes: She should start off by independently reviewing the material that she feels unsure of, and then reach out to her teacher for further help if she needs it. Assure her that asking questions and making an effort are important to her teacher. Take it from us: Teachers see questions as a sign of an engaged, conscientious, and curious student. No matter the teacher’s temperament or reputation, she will respond positively to your child coming to her with sincere questions and hard work.
If your child fears parental judgment due to bad grades: Remember that although high marks may be important to you, focusing on process and effort is key to your child’s success, not to mention that putting too much pressure on her can lead to resentment. Help your child create a process she can rely on for her work. Better effort will help your child engage with the material and yield better results in the long run.
If your child fears her best friend’s judgment: Start by encouraging your child not to discuss grades with her friends. Middle schoolers in particular tend to share their marks with one another, and it usually just makes kids feel lousy. The “What did you get?” question is tough for all students, especially in the middle grades, when they are looking for affirmation from their peers. Your child’s grades are no one else’s business. While her best friend may do well in history, he may have more trouble with math than your child does. Or maybe he seems great at everything now, but he actually struggles in art class, and in the future he’ll be a terrible driver or have an awkward first date. In other words, we all have subjects—or areas of our lives—that come more or less easily than others. Challenges are inevitable. What matters most is how we approach them.
If your child fears she isn’t capable: First acknowledge how painful this feeling must be. Then reassure her that she is capable and give concrete anecdotes so she doesn’t roll her eyes. Share with her a moment when you thought you couldn’t do something, but you learned to conquer the task. And be honest! Your kid will know that you didn’t really wrestle that champion alligator. Emphasize the importance of determination, effort, and persistence in whichever example of your successes you choose to share.
If your child is exhausted: Prioritize only what’s really essential. Try to help your child go to bed earlier. She can always wake up early to complete smaller assignments if need be. Getting major work done while exhausted is a losing battle for everyone. Help her plan ahead. Create a schedule for completing small portions of a larger assignment over the course of several days or weeks to make overwhelming work seem more manageable.
Read: My daughter’s homework is killing me
Once you figure out what’s driving your child’s procrastination, you can strategize with her about logistics. Start by removing temptation when possible. Of course she’d rather see where her friends went this afternoon than stare at a blinking cursor, and if all it takes is a simple click or swipe for your child to access social media, it’s going to take her eons to finish an assignment. It will be almost impossible for her to develop an argument that flows if she’s tempted by her phone. So all possible impediments to success should be removed. Disabling social-media and messaging apps and having a conversation about the purpose of setting technology limits is an important first step. Putting her phone aside will also help her compartmentalize time so that she can get her work done more thoroughly and then have free time afterward. Technological boundaries may lead to major pushback—especially now, when kids rely on technology for most forms of socializing—but this temporary misery is undoubtedly worth it in the long run.
And emphasize that short-term pleasure equals long-term pain. Empathize with children who do not want to do something that’s hard. Then remind them that the immediate instinct to procrastinate and play video games will make life miserable later. While they may resist and grumble, helping establish rules will ultimately prevent suffering tonight, tomorrow, and next week. Kids thrive in the comfort, reliability, and safety of a structured, focused work environment. It’s never easy, but on evenings when you want to tear your hair out because your child won’t sit down to work, reinforce the message that short-term gratification will only get in the way of long-term goals.
Finally, explain the relevance of the assignment. If kids don’t understand why they’re doing the work, they’re more likely to be frustrated. For example, your child might ask, “Why do I need to know algebra? I’ll never use it when I’m older.” You can tell the truth: “You probably won’t need to know about variables in everyday life, but learning algebra will give you a framework for understanding how to break down and solve complex tasks down the road.”
Learning to work independently, without a teacher’s direct counsel, is key to building academic and personal autonomy. So when your child is overwhelmed, help her figure out why, and then model strategies that foster independence, confidence, and well-being.
This piece is adapted from Freireich and Platzer’s new book, Taking the Stress out of Homework . Every Tuesday, they answer education-related questions . Have one? Email them at [email protected].
About the Authors
How to help your child with homework
by: The GreatSchools Editorial Team | Updated: June 13, 2023
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Here are ways to best help your child when she’s doing homework:
Have your child settle into a good study space.
Help your child focus., keep school supplies close at hand., set up a regular time for homework., stay close by while your child does homework., review the work when your child says he’s finished..
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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework
The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework
By debbie pincus, ms lmhc.
![help your kid with homework Teen girl with hands on head frustrated by homework](https://cdn.empoweringparents.com/homework-battle-200x200.jpg)
Parents often feel it’s their job to get their kids to do well in school. Naturally, you might get anxious about this responsibility as a parent. You might also get nervous about your kids succeeding in life—and homework often becomes the focus of that concern.
But when parents feel it’s their responsibility to get their kids to achieve, they now need something from their children—they need them to do their homework and be a success. I believe this need puts you in a powerless position as a parent because your child doesn’t have to give you what you want.
The battle about homework becomes a battle over control. Your child starts fighting to have more control over the choices in their life, while you feel that your job as a parent is to be in control of things. So you both fight harder, and it turns into a war in your home.
Over the years, I’ve talked to many parents who are in the trenches with their kids, and I’ve seen firsthand that there are many creative ways kids rebel when it comes to schoolwork. Your child might forget to do their homework, do their homework but not hand it in, do it sloppily or carelessly, or not study properly for their test. These are just a few ways that kids try to hold onto the little control they have.
When this starts happening, parents feel more and more out of control, so they punish, nag, threaten, and argue. Some parents stop trying altogether to get their children to do homework. Or, and this is common, parents will over-function for their kids by doing the work for them.
Now the battle is in full swing: reactivity is heightened as anxiety is elevated—and homework gets lost in the shuffle. The hard truth for parents is that you cannot make your children do anything, let alone homework. But what you can do is to set limits, respect their individual choices, and help motivate them to motivate themselves.
You might be thinking to yourself, “You don’t know my child. I can’t motivate him to do anything.” Many parents tell me that their children are not motivated to do their work. I believe that children are motivated—they just may not be motivated the way you’d like them to be. Keep reading for some concrete tips to help you guide them in their work without having to nag, threaten, or fight with them.
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Also, keep in mind that if you carry more of the worry, fear, disappointments, and concern than your child does about their work, ask yourself, “What’s wrong with this picture, and how did this happen?” Remember, as long as you carry their concerns, they don’t have to.
Stop the Nightly Fights
The way you can stop fighting with your kids over homework every night is to stop fighting with them tonight. Disengage from the dance. Choose some different steps or decide not to dance at all. Let homework stay where it belongs—between the teacher and the student. Stay focused on your job, which is to help your child do their job. Don’t do it for them.
If you feel frustrated, take a break from helping your child with homework. Your blood pressure on the rise is a no-win for everyone. Take five or ten minutes to calm down, and let your child do the same if you feel a storm brewing.
Create Structure Around Homework Time
Set limits around homework time. Here are a few possibilities that I’ve found to be effective with families:
- Homework is done at the same time each night.
- Homework is done in a public area of your house.
- If grades are failing or falling, take away screen time so your child can focus and have more time to concentrate on their work.
- Make it the rule that weekend activities don’t happen until work is completed. Homework comes first. As James Lehman says, “The weekend doesn’t begin until homework is done.”
Let Your Child Make Their Own Choices
I recommend that your child be free to make their own choices within the parameters you set around schoolwork. You need to back off a bit as a parent. Otherwise, you won’t be helping them with their responsibilities.
If you take too much control over the situation, it will backfire on you by turning into a power struggle. And believe me, you don’t want a power struggle over homework. I’ve seen many kids purposely do poorly just to show their parents who’s in charge. I’ve also seen children who complied to ease their parents’ anxiety, but these same kids never learned to think and make choices for themselves.
Let Your Child Own the Consequences of Their Choices
I’m a big believer in natural consequences when it comes to schoolwork. Within the structure you set up, your child has some choices. They can choose to do their homework or not. And they can choose to do it well and with effort or not. The natural consequences will come from their choices—if they don’t choose to do their work, their grades will drop.
When that happens, you can ask them some honest questions:
“Are you satisfied with how things are going?”
“What do you want to do about your grade situation?”
“How can I be helpful to you?”
Be careful not to be snarky or judgmental. Just ask the question honestly. Show honest concern and try not to show disappointment.
Intervene Without Taking Control
The expectation is that homework is done to the best of your child’s ability. When they stop making an effort, and you see their grades drop, that’s when you invite yourself in. You can say:
“It’s my job to help you do your job better. I’m going to help you set up a plan to help yourself, and I will check in to make sure you’re following it.”
Set up a plan with your child’s input to get them back on their feet. For example, the new rules might be that homework must be done in a public place in your home until they get their grades back up. You and your child might meet with the teacher to discuss disciplinary actions should their grades continue to drop.
In other words, you will help your child get back on track by putting a concrete plan in place. And when you see this change, you can step back out of it. But before that, your child is going to sit in a public space and you’re going to monitor their work.
You’re also checking in more. Depending on your child’s age, you’re making sure that things are checked off before they go out. You’re adding a half-hour of review time for their subjects every day. And then, each day after school, they’re checking with their teacher or going for some extra help.
Remember, this plan is not a punishment—it’s a practical way of helping your child to do their best.
“I Don’t Care about Bad Grades!”
Many parents will say that their kids just don’t care about their grades. My guess is that somewhere inside, they do care. “I don’t care” also becomes part of a power struggle.
In other words, your child is saying, “I’m not going to care because you can’t make me. You don’t own my life.” And they’re right. The truth is, you can’t make them care. Instead, focus on what helps their behavior improve. And focus more on their actions and less on their attitude because it’s the actions that matter the most.
Motivation Comes From Ownership
It’s important to understand that caring and motivation come from ownership. You can help your child be motivated by allowing them to own their life more.
So let them own their disappointment over their grades. Don’t feel it more than they do. Let them choose what they will do or not do about their homework and face the consequences of those choices. Now they will begin to feel ownership, which may lead to caring.
Let them figure out what motivates them, not have them motivated by fear of you. Help guide them, but don’t prevent them from feeling the real-life consequences of bad choices. Think of it this way: it’s better for your child to learn from those consequences at age ten by failing their grade and having to go to summer school than for them to learn at age 25 by losing their job.
When Your Child Has a Learning Disability
I want to note that it’s very important that you check to see that there are no other learning issues around your child’s refusal to do homework. If they’re having difficulty doing the work or are performing below grade-level expectations, they should be tested to rule out any learning disabilities or other concerns.
If there is a learning disability, your child may need more help. For example, some kids need a little more guidance; you may need to sit near your child and help a little more. You can still put structures into place depending on who your child is.
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But be careful. Many times, kids with learning disabilities get way too much help and develop what psychologists call learned helplessness . Be sure you’re not over-functioning for your learning disabled child by doing their work for them or filling in answers when they’re capable of thinking through them themselves.
The Difference Between Guidance and Over-Functioning
Your child needs guidance from you, but understand that guidance does not mean doing their spelling homework for them. Rather, it’s helping them review their words. When you cross the line into over-functioning, you take on your child’s work and put their responsibilities on your shoulders. So you want to guide them by helping them edit their book report themselves or helping them take the time to review before a test. Those can be good ways of guiding your child, but anything more than that is taking too much ownership of their work.
If your child asks for help, you can coach them. Suggest that they speak with their teacher on how to be a good student and teach them those communication skills. In other words, show them how to help themselves. So you should not back off altogether—it’s that middle ground that you’re looking for. That’s why I think it’s essential to set up a structure. And within that structure, you expect your child to do what they have to do to be a good student.
Focus on Your Own Goals
When you start over-focusing on your child’s work, pause and think about your own goals and what do you need to get done to achieve those goals. Model your own persistence and perseverance to your child.
Believe In Your Child
I also tell parents to start believing in their children. Don’t keep looking at your child as a fragile creature who can’t do the work. I think we often come to the table with fear and doubt—we think if we don’t help our kids, they’re just not going to do it.
But as much as you say, “I’m just trying to help you,” what your child hears is, “You’re a failure; I don’t believe you can do it on your own.”
Instead, your message should be, “I know you can do it. And I believe in you enough to let you make your own choices and deal with the consequences.”
Related content: What Can I Do When My Child Refuses to Go to School? “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork
For more information on the concept of learned helplessness in psychology and behavior, we recommend the following articles:
Psychology Today: Learned Helplessness
VeryWell Mind: What Is Learned Helplessness and Why Does it Happen?
About Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC
For more than 25 years, Debbie has offered compassionate and effective therapy and coaching, helping individuals, couples and parents to heal themselves and their relationships. Debbie is the creator of the Calm Parent AM & PM™ program and is also the author of numerous books for young people on interpersonal relations.
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Frank My daughter Nina just turned 8 (Feb 11). She does not like to do homework one bit. Her teacher gives her homework every day except Friday. She loves Fridays because she doesn't like homework. She always hides her homework under her bed, refuses to do her homework, and in the More morning she tells her teacher "I lost it last night and can't find it!". She feels homework is a waste of time, yes, we all feel that way, but poor Nina needs to learn that homework is important to help you stay smart. She needs to start doing homework. How can I make her 2nd-grade brain know that homework is actually good? Is there a way to make her love, love, LOVE homework? Let me know.
Rebecca Wolfenden, Parent Coach We appreciate you writing in to Empowering Parents and sharing your story. Because we are a website aimed at helping people become more effective parents, we are limited in the advice and suggestions we can give to those outside of a direct parenting role. In addition to the tips in More the article above, it may be helpful to look into local resources to help you develop a plan for addressing these particular issues with your cousins, such as their doctor or their teachers. We wish you the best going forward. Take care.
Rebecca Wolfenden, Parent Coach I hear you. Homework can be a challenging, frustrating time in many families even under the best of circumstances, so you are not alone. When kids struggle with a subject, it can be even more difficult to get assignments completed. Although you didn’t indicate that your daughter More has ADHD, you might find some helpful tips in Why School is Hard for Kids with ADHD—and How You Can Help . Author Anna Stewart outlines techniques that can be useful to help make homework more interesting for kids with a variety of learning challenges in this article. You might also consider checking in with your daughter’s teacher, as s/he might have some additional ideas for engaging your daughter in her homework. Please be sure to write back and let us know how things are going for you and your family. Take care.
So, after reading this I get to say…GREAT…You really do not know my child. We have done 100% of everything listed in this article. In the end, my son has utterly declared “I DON’T CARE, AND I DON’T NEED SCHOOL”. We have attempted a “reward” system as well, and that doesn’t work. He cares about 3 or 4 things. Nintendo DS, Lego, K’Nex, TV…all of those he has lost over the past year. Now he reads, ALL the time. Fine, but that doesn’t get his homework done. It also doesn’t get anything else he needs to do done. We’ve done “task boards”, we’ve done “Reward Systems”, we’ve done the “What is on your list to complete”. EVERYTHING is met with either a full fledged meltdown (think 2 year old…on the floor, kicking and screaming and crying). His IMMEDIATE response to ANYTHING that may interrupt him is “NO” or worse. If something doesn’t go his way directly he throws a fit INSTANTLY, even if the response is “Give me a second” it’s NOW OR I’M DESTROYING SOMETHING. He’s been suspended multiple times for his anger issues, and he’s only 10. Unfortuantely we have no family history as he was adopted from Russia. His “formal” diagnosis are ADHD and Anxiety. I’m thinking there is something much more going on. BTW: He did have an IQ test and that put him at 145 for Spacial and Geometric items, with a 136 for written and language. His composite was 139, which puts him in the genius category, but he’s failing across the board…because he refuses to do the work.
Interesting article and comments. Our son (6th grade) was early diagnosed as ADHD and for the first 3 years of elementary school several of his teachers suggested he might require special education. But then the school counseling staff did a workup and determined that his IQ is 161 and from that point forward his classroom antics were largely tolerated as “eccentric”. He has now moved to middle school (6th grade) and while his classroom participation seems to be satisfactory to all teachers, he has refused to do approximately 65% of his homework so far this school year. We have tried talking with him, reasoning with him, removing screen time, offering cash payments (which he lectures us as being unethical “bribes”), offering trips, offering hobbies and sporting events, and just about anything we can think of. Our other children have all been through the “talented and gifted” programs, but he simply refuses to participate in day-to-day school work. His fall report card was pretty much solid “F” or “O” grades. He may be bored out of his mind, or he may have some other issues. Unfortunately, home schooling is not an option, and neither is one of the $40,000 per year local private schools which may or may not be in a better position to deal with his approach to school. Do “learning centers” work for kids like this? Paying somebody else to force him to do his homework seems like a coward’s solution but I am nearly at the end of my rope! Thanks..
RebeccaW_ParentalSupport 12yokosuka Many parents struggle with staying calm when their child is acting out and screaming, so you are not alone. It tends to be effective to set up a structured time for kids to do their homework and study, and they can earn a privilege if they comply and meet More their responsibilities. What this might look like for your daughter is that if she studies, she can earn her phone that day. If she refuses, and chooses to argue or scream at you instead, then she doesn’t earn her phone that day and has another chance the next day. You can read more about this in https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/. If you are also looking for resources to help you stay calm, I encourage you to check out our articles, blogs, and other resources on https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/parenting-strategies-techniques/calm-parenting/. Please let us know if you have any additional questions. Take care.
Scott carcione
I’m sorry to hear about the challenges you are experiencing with your
son.I also hear the different
approaches you and your ex are taking toward parenting your son.While it would be ideal if you were able to
find common ground, and present a consistent, united response to your son’s
choices, in the end, you can only https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/parenting-after-divorce-9-ways-to-parent-on-your-own-terms/.At
this point, it might be useful to meet with the school to discuss how you can
work together to hold your son accountable for his actions, such as receiving a
poor grade if he refuses to do his work.Janet Lehman discusses this more in https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/when-your-child-has-problems-at-school-6-tips-for-parents/.Take care.
It can be so challenging when your child is acting out at school, yet does
not act that way at home.One strategy I
recommend is talking with your son at home about his behavior at school.During this conversation, I encourage you to
address his choices, and come up with a specific plan for what he can do differently
to follow the rules.I also recommend
working with his teachers, and discussing how you can assist them in helping
your son to follow the rules.You might
find additional useful tips in our article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/acting-out-in-school-when-your-child-is-the-class-troublemaker/.Please be sure to write back and let us know
how things are going for you and your son.Take care.
I hear you.It can be so challenging
when your young child is having outbursts like this.A lot of young children tend to act out and
have tantrums when they are experiencing a big transition, such as starting a
new school or adjusting to having a younger sibling, so you are not alone.Something that can be helpful is to set up
clear structure and expectations around homework, as Janet Lehman points out in
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-child-refuses-to-do-homework-heres-how-to-stop-the-struggle/.I also encourage you to set aside some time
for you to have https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/attention-seeking-behavior-in-young-children-dos-and-donts-for-parents/ with your daughter as well.Please be sure to write back and let us know
how things are going for you and your family.Take care.
JoJoSuma I am having the exact same problem with my 9 year old son. His grades are quickly falling and I have no idea why or where to begin with helping him turn things around. When he applies himself he receives score of 80% or higher, and when he doesn't it clearly shows and he receives failing scores. He, too, says that he doesn't do or want to do the work because it is boring, or that he "Forgot" or "lost it". He has started to become a disruption to the class and at this rate I am afraid that he will have to repeat 5th grade. I am also a single parent so my frustration is at an all time high. You are not alone and I wish you and your family the best.
Thank you so much for these tips RebeccaW_ParentalSupport because I SERIOUSLY had nowhere to turn and no clue where to begin. I have cried many nights feeling like I was losing control. I will try your tips and see where things go from here.
It’s not uncommon
for kids to avoid doing homework, chores or other similar tasks. After
all, homework can be boring or difficult, and most people (both kids and adults
alike) tend to prefer activities which are enjoyable or fun. This does
not mean that you cannot address this with your daughter, though.
Something which can be helpful for many families is to set up a structured
homework time, and to require that your daughter complete her homework in order
to earn a privilege later on that evening. You can read about this, and
other tips, in https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/.
Please be sure to write back and let us know how things are going for you and
your daughter. Take care.
Thestruggleisreal I'm just now signing up for these articles, I'm struggling with my 12 year and school work, she just doesn't want to do it, she has no care I'm world to do, she is driving me crazy over not doing, I hate to see her More fail, but I don't know what to do
FamilyMan888
I can hear how much your
daughter’s education means to you, and the additional difficulties you are
facing as a result of her learning disabilities. You make a great point
that you cannot force her to do her work, or get additional help, and I also
understand your concern that getting her teachers to “make” her do these things
at school might create more conflict there as well. As James Lehman
points out in his article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/stop-the-blame-game-how-to-teach-your-child-to-stop-making-excuses-and-start-taking-responsibility/, lowering your expectations for your daughter due to her
diagnosis is probably not going to be effective either. Instead, what you
might try is involving her in the https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/, and asking her what she thinks she needs, and what she will do
differently, to meet classroom expectations. Please be sure to write back
and let us know how things are going for you and your family. Take care.
tvllpit Very effective to kids age of 5, 7, and 11 years old. Thank you for sharing your idea.
Thank you for
your question. You are correct that we recommend setting up a structured
time for kids to do homework, yet not getting into a power struggle with them
if they refuse to do their work during that time. It could be useful to
talk with your 11 year old about what makes it difficult to follow through with
doing homework at that time, and perhaps experimenting with doing homework at
another time to see if that works more effectively. In the end, though,
if your child is simply refusing to do the work, then we recommend giving a
consequence and avoiding a power struggle. Megan Devine details this
process more in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/.
Please let us know if you have any additional questions. Take care.
jovi916 I'm a mother to a 10 year old 5th grader. Since 3rd grade I've been struggling with homework. That first year, I thought it was just lack of consistency since my children go between mine and dad's house. I tried setting some sort of system up with More the teacher to get back on track, but the teacher said it was the child's responsibility to get the hw done. This year has been esp. Difficult. He stopped doing hw, got an F, so I got on him. He stared turning half done work, but same grades so I still got on him. Grades went up, I loosened up, then he stopped with in school work. Now it's back to not turning anything in, even big projects and presentations. He had never really been allowed to watch tv, but now it's a definite no, I took his Legos away, took him out of sports. Nothing is working. He's basically sitting at the table every night, and all weekend long in order to get caught up with missing assignments. I'm worried, and next year he'll be in middle school. I try setting an example by studying in front of him. My daughter just does her homework and gets good grades. Idk what to do.
I can hear your concern. Academic achievement is important
to most parents and when your children seem to be struggling to complete their
work and get good grades, it can be distressing. Ultimately, your childrens’
school work and grades are their responsibility. You shouldn’t have to quit
your own studies in order to help them improve theirs. The above article gives
some great tips for helping motivate your children to complete their homework.
We do have a couple other articles you may also find useful: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/10-ways-to-motivate-your-child-to-do-better-in-school/ & https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/sinking-fast-at-school-how-to-help-your-child-stay-afloat/. We appreciate you
writing in and hope you find the information useful. Take care.
RNM I have the exact same issues with my 8 year old. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. He's a smart kid, he just doesn't seem to care to do his homework let alone if he gets a bad grade as a result. He hates reading, but does More very well in spelling and science. Homework is an issue nightly and the teacher pulled me aside today to tell me again how much he talks in class and that now he isn't writing down his assignments and is missing 3 assignments this week. SMH, I don't know what to do anymore other than to coach him (some more) and take away basketball if he doesn't do his homework.
What? "Let homework stay where it belongs—between the teacher and the student. Refuse to get pulled in by the school.." I do not see the logic or benefit of this advice. Homework, by definition, is the responsibility of the student and parent (NOT the teacher). The teacher does not live at the student's home or run the house.
In my opinion, the lack of parental involvement with academics often causes the low student performance evident across the U.S. I do not agree with advocating for even LESS parental involvement.
I completely agree with you. Parental, or adult, engagement at home can be a deal-maker/breaker when it comes to student performance. I subscribe to theories that differ from the author's.
First, if an adult is involved with the child and his activities, then the child will commonly react with "hey, somebody cares about me" leading to an increased sense of self-worth. A sense of caring about one's-self leads to caring about grades and other socially acceptable behaviors (Maslow).
Secondly, I am a FIRM believer in the techniques of behavior modification through positive reinforcement (Karen Pryor). It's up to an invested adult to determine what motivates the student and use those motivators to shape and reinforce desirable behavior such as daily homework completion. A classroom teacher has too many students and too little time to apply this theory.
Letting a child sink or swim by himself is a bad idea. Children have only one childhood; there are no do-overs.
And yes, children are work.
Many experience similar feelings of being at fault when
their child fails, so, you’re not alone. Truth of the matter is, allowing your
child to experience natural consequences of their actions by allowing them to
fail gives them the opportunity to look at themselves and change their
behavior. We have a couple articles I think you may find helpful: When You Should Let Your Child Fail: The Benefits of Natural Consequences & 5 Natural Consequences You Should Let Your Child Face . Good luck to you and
your family moving forward. Take care.
hao hao It is so true, we can't control our children's home. It is their responsibility. But they don't care it. What can we do it?
indusreepradeep
How great it is that you want to help your brother be more
productive with his homework. He’s lucky to have a sibling who cares about him
and wants him to be successful. Because we are a website aimed at helping
parents develop better ways of managing acting out behavior, we are limited in
the advice we can offer you as his sibling. There is a website that may be able
to offer you some suggestions. http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/
is a website aimed at helping teens and young adults figure out ways of dealing
with challenges they may be facing in their lives. They offer several ways of
getting support, such as by e-mail or text, through an online forum and chat,
and also a call in helpline. You can check out what they have to offer at http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/. Good luck
to you and your family moving forward. Take care.
Kathleenann indusreepradeep
Thank you so much for your humble support....
It sounds like you have done a lot
of work to try to help your daughter achieve her educational goals, and it’s
normal to feel frustrated when she does not seem to be putting in the same
amount of effort. It can be useful to keep your focus on whether your
daughter is doing her work, and to keep that separate from whether she “cares”
about doing her work. Ultimately, it is up to your daughter to do her
work, regardless of how she appears to feel about it. To that end, we
recommend working with the various local supports you have in place, such as
her therapists and others on her IEP team, to talk about what could be useful
to motivate your daughter to do her school work. Because individuals with
autism can vary greatly with their abilities, it’s going to be more effective
to work closely with the professionals who are familiar with your daughter’s
strengths and level of functioning in order to develop a plan to address this
issue. Thank you so much for writing in; we wish you and your daughter
all the best as you continue to address her difficulties with school.
is there a blog for parents that went to Therapeutic boarding schooling for their adolescent?
Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.
We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on our website.
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Helping kids with homework
Wondering how to help your kids with their homework this year? Psychologist Eleanor Mackey has some tips.
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Now that school is back in full swing, many households are dealing with how to handle homework. Helping your child be successful at homework is very important because it is a very critical part of children’s academic success. Homework helps children in several ways, including:
- continues learning after the school day
- teaches responsibility
- helps parents stay aware of what their child is learning in school
Being involved in your child’s homework is important. As with all parenting endeavors, though, there is a fine line between being too involved and not being involved enough.
So, what’s a parent to do?
Step 1: Set expectations
Set up appropriate expectations for your child and their homework responsibilities. For example, depending on the age of your child, they might be responsible for determining which homework needs to be done, doing the actual homework and putting their completed homework into their backpack.
It is very important that the child take responsibility for the actual homework, not the parent. A parent might commit to finding a quiet space for the child to do the homework, checking answers, double checking that everything has been done, as well as being on hand to answer questions.
Step 2: Set up a good study space
There must be a designated homework space in the house free of noises and distractions. If possible, try to make this fun. For instance, a colleague of mine mentioned she got her kindergarten-aged son a “homework box” that has everything he needs including pencils, erasers, scissors, etc. He puts his homework folder by the box when he comes home and then has everything he needs. I think this is a great idea to help with organization for any age.
Step 3: Schedule when homework will be done
It is important to teach kids that homework must be done on time. Set aside a certain time of the evening for homework to be completed. Put it in the calendar like any other activity so that there is always time for it. Younger kids will need the schedule made for them. Children older than 10 years of age may be able to take charge of putting homework and specific assignments into the schedule and then have a parent check it for them.
For younger grades, there is usually homework that is shorter-term and due in quick succession, which can be easier to manage and plan.
For older kids, often there is advanced planning that needs to be done, for example a term paper. Help your kids learn how to break up long-term assignments into chunks and assist in planning when each section will be completed.
Step 4: Motivate!
Your encouragement goes a long way towards motivating your child to do homework. Praise your child for steps along the way, not just successful completion of homework. For example, praise them for remembering their homework, for stopping other activities without complaint when it is homework time, for continuing a challenging task or for good grades.
It is best to build internal motivation for homework, or the desire to complete it for their feelings of pride in good work done and for caring about their academics. However, some kids may benefit from external motivators, such as earning a pass from other chores in exchange for doing homework or earning the ability to engage in preferred activities when homework is done.
Still having homework challenges?
If your child is still having difficulty with homework, there are some additional steps you can take. For more pointers, I like the book “ Homework Without Tears ” by Canter and Hausner. It may also be important to talk with your child’s teacher to strategize on how to help your child. You may also want to consult a psychologist to determine if educational testing may benefit your child.
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Posts from eleanor mackey, phd, making family new year’s resolutions, what’s the right allowance for your child, how to avoid distracted parenting, is your child’s temper more than a tantrum, helping your kids cope with a traumatic event, praising children effectively, finding special time for your kids, leave a comment, leave a reply cancel reply.
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January 24, 2020
How to help your kids with homework—without doing it for them
by Melissa Barnes and Katrina Tour, The Conversation
![Credit: CC0 Public Domain How to help your kids with homework (without doing it for them)](https://scx1.b-cdn.net/csz/news/800a/2020/howtohelpyou.jpg)
Parents are a child's first and most important teachers . Parent involvement in their child's learning can help improve how well they do in school. However, when it comes to helping kids with homework, it's not so simple.
While it's important to show support and model learning behavior, there is a limit to how much help you can give without robbing your child of the opportunity to learn for themselves.
Be involved and interested
An analysis of more than 400 research studies found parent involvement , both at school and at home, could improve students' academic achievement, engagement and motivation.
School involvement includes parents participating in events such as parent-teacher conferences and volunteering in the classroom. Home involvement includes parents talking with children about school, providing encouragement, creating stimulating environments for learning and finally—helping them with homework.
The paper found overall, it was consistently beneficial for parents to be involved in their child's education, regardless of the child's age or socioeconomic status. However, this same analysis also suggested parents should be cautious with how they approach helping with homework.
Parents helping kids with homework was linked to higher levels of motivation and engagement, but lower levels of academic achievement. This suggests too much help may take away from the child's responsibility for their own learning.
Help them take responsibility
Most children don't like homework. Many parents agonize over helping their children with homework. Not surprisingly, this creates a negative emotional atmosphere that often results in questioning the value of homework.
Homework has often been linked to student achievement, promoting the idea children who complete it will do better in school. The most comprehensive analysis on homework and achievement to date suggests it can influence academic achievement (like test scores), particularly for children in years seven to 12.
But more research is needed to find out about how much homework is appropriate for particular ages and what types are best to maximize home learning.
When it comes to parent involvement, research suggests parents should help their child see their homework as an opportunity to learn rather than perform. For example, if a child needs to create a poster, it is more valuable the child notes the skills they develop while creating the poster rather than making the best looking poster in the class.
Instead of ensuring their child completes their homework, it's more effective for parents to support their child to increase confidence in completing homework tasks on their own.
Here are four ways they can do this.
1. Praise and encourage your child
Your positivity will make a difference to your child's approach to homework and learning in general. Simply, your presence and support creates a positive learning environment.
Our study involved working with recently arrived Afghani mothers who were uncertain how to help their children with school. This was because they said they could not understand the Australian education system or speak or write in English.
However, they committed to sit next to their children as they completed their homework tasks in English, asking them questions and encouraging them to discuss what they were learning in their first language.
In this way, the parents still played a role in supporting their child even without understanding the content and the children were actively engaged in their learning.
2. Model learning behavior
Many teachers model what they would like their students to do. So, if a child has a problem they can't work out, you can sit down and model how you would do it, then complete the next one together and then have the child do it on their own.
3. Create a homework plan
When your child becomes overly frustrated with their homework, do not force them. Instead, together create a plan to best tackle it:
- read and understand the homework task
- break the homework task into smaller logical chunks
- discuss how much time is required to complete each chunk
- work backwards from the deadline and create a timeline
- put the timeline where the child can see it
- encourage your child to mark completed chunks to see the progress made on the task
4. Make space for homework
Life is busy. Parents can create positive study habits by allocating family time for this. This could mean carving out one hour after dinner for your child to do homework while you engage in a study activity such as reading, rather than watching television and relaxing. You can also create a comfortable and inviting reading space for the child to learn in.
Parents' ability to support their child's learning goes beyond homework . Parents can engage their child in discussions, read with them, and provide them with other ongoing learning opportunities (such as going to a museum, watching a documentary or spending time online together).
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8 Tips to Help Your Child With Homework
We get it—no matter your child’s age, getting homework done can be a challenge. Even for children in elementary school, their homework takes time, focus, and energy to complete. So here are 8 essential tips to help a child with their homework:
Minimize Distractions
Make it as easy as possible for your child to focus during homework time. Don’t have the television on in the background and make sure phones, tablets, and games are put away. This will also help signal to them that homework is a priority!
Create a Homework Space
Designating one place for homework helps establish a routine for your child. They will know to take their assignment from their backpack, bring it to the homework space, and return it to their backpack when they’re finished.
Recognize Your Child’s Abilities
Some children need to come home and work on their homework right away before they start playing and lose track of time. Others need a break after a long day at school and benefit from a little down time at home before starting their assignments.
Connect It To the Real World
If your child complains of homework being boring, try to emphasize how they will use what they’re learning outside of school. Not only can this help increase motivation, but it also shows how what they are learning this year builds on what they learned last year and already know.
Review, Review, Review
Remind your child that checking their work is part of doing homework. Reviewing after completing problems is not optional, and is actually part of every assignment.
Don’t Get Frustrated
You may need to give your child multiple reminders about the steps involved in doing homework. Especially when starting a new school year or coming back from long breaks, it can take a little time to get back into an after-school routine.
Remember Who the Student Is
Find the line between helping your child with their homework and completing it for them. Remember that sometimes the takeaway from the lesson isn’t the answer to the problem, but your child learning how to problem solve and find the answer.
Talk With the Teacher
If your child is working on their homework all night and can’t get it done before bedtime, set up a meeting to talk with their teacher. Many teachers are able to alter assignments to make the amount of homework each night more manageable for your child. It’s better to talk sooner to ensure your child gets the help they need before falling too far behind.
Try these ways to help support your child as they do their homework. Use these ideas to help make homework time easier!
Related resources.
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How to Handle a Temper Tantrum and How to Prevent Them
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How Much Should I Help My Child With Their Homework?
MoMo Productions/Getty Images
- Pre-K and Kindergarten
- School-Aged Children
- Middle and High School
What If My Child Never Asks for Help?
- What to Do If You Have Concerns
It's fairly normal for homework to be a task dreaded by most kids. But when you become a parent, you might find that you dread homework just as much as your children do! Simply getting kids to sit down and work can be a struggle, and fitting homework into a family’s busy schedule can also be challenging. Not only that, but it can be really hard to watch a child wrestle with the material.
As such, most parents want to intervene in some way. Yet many end up feeling confused about their role when it comes to homework. How much should you push a child who is having trouble applying themselves to the task? How much help should you offer? And what if your child doesn’t seem to need your help with homework at all?
Here, we’ll connect with experts regarding the best approach to helping your child with their homework, broken down by age.
How Much Homework Help Should My Pre-K Child or Kindergartener Need?
Above all else, the work of a pre-K or kindergarten-aged kid should be to engage in play, says Bibi Pirayesh, Ed.D., founder and educational therapist at OneOfOneKids.org . “It's also important to do activities that support motor functions, sound-letter correspondence, and informal math,” she says. “But what parents should really encourage is children’s natural sense of wonder and wanting to initiate challenge and learning, not perfection.”
Still, sometimes children this age are assigned homework, though most of the time the workload is light, and children are given leeway in terms of what they are expected to accomplish. When it comes to learning outside of school at these ages, Katelyn Rigg, M.Ed., a literacy and reading specialist, says that your job as a parent is to be a “coach” for your child, working to reinforce the concepts they're already studying at school.
“For example, if the students are learning the letter B, parents can take the opportunity to talk about the letter, go on a scavenger hunt for things around the house that start with the 'B' sound, and practice letter formation using kinesthetic experiences like playdough,” Rigg suggests.
Above all else, don’t push your young child when it comes to homework. “The most important goal of this stage should be to associate school and learning with positive emotions,” Dr. Pirayesh says. The aim is to encourage children to branch out, try things on their own, and support their efforts.
How Much Homework Help Should My School-Aged Child Need?
Homework becomes more of a “thing” as your child gets a little older, though it tends to be light in early elementary school, increasing in amount as the years pass. Typically by third grade , kids receive up to three assignments per week, and homework can take up to 20 minutes. Fourth and fifth graders may get daily homework, lasting about 30 minutes or sometimes more.
In elementary school, homework focuses on concepts children are studying in class, and its purpose is to practice and reinforce what’s already been learned, says Brianna Leonhard, certified teacher, board certified behavior analyst (BCBA), and founder of Third Row Adventures . As such, children should be able to do the vast majority of their homework on their own, without much help.
Still, many children want or need a bit of help with their homework in elementary school, and that’s perfectly normal, says Rigg. She suggests trying an “I do / We do / You do” model for doing homework together with your child.
“A parent may do the first question, then they complete the second question with their child, and finally, the child completes the final question on their own,” Rigg describes. This idea can be adapted to whatever homework or academic skills your child is working on. “It allows parents to be involved and supportive of their child's education, but also leads children to develop independence.”
How Much Homework Help Should My Tween or Teen Need?
Homework will become more of an independent task for your child as they age. However, they may need some hand-holding as they make the transition from elementary school to middle school, where they are suddenly getting homework from multiple teachers instead of just one.
During the tween and early teen years, kids are still developing their executive functioning skills—tools that help them plan and execute tasks, says Dr. Pirayesh. You can support them by implementing "scaffolding," which involves helping them break up tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks, and setting up clear daily goals.
Homework during high school should still be mostly about practicing skills already taught and is not meant to teach new material, says Leonhard. So if a parent is having to spend time teaching their tween or teen the material covered on the homework, they should reach out to the child’s teacher in the event they're having trouble grasping what's being studied in class.
That said, homework in high school can be challenging, and your child might be struggling because of the increasing difficulty in topics. If your child can mostly complete the task at hand, but needs a little additional help from you from time to time, that’s typically not a problem, she adds.
Students with learning disabilities such as ADHD may need more parental assistance with homework, says Riggs. That’s also typical and okay. “Teachers may not be able to find the time to provide this added support for students, so parents may have to provide it at home,” she explains. “Parents can also support teenagers who may need assistance with studying and organizational skills, while helping find strategies that work for their children to prepare them for adulthood.”
Some kids never seem to need help with homework, and that can be just as confusing for parents as kids who need endless help. If your child is getting by without help, there’s no need to intervene.
“As long as a parent knows that the child is completing the required homework, meeting the grade-level expectations, and understanding the content, then this is perfectly fine,” Riggs says. “Parents should make sure they are asking their independent children about what they're learning, what their homework is, and offering help if they need it.”
What to Do If You Have Concerns About Your Child’s Homework
When your child is struggling with homework or seems to need a greater than average amount of assistance, you might be wondering what you should do. First of all, you shouldn’t assume that incredibly challenging homework is something that is typical, says Dr. Pirayesh.
“I think many parents assume that homework being a nightmare is normal,” she explains. "But it can be a sign that something deeper is going on.” Your child could potentially have a learning disability, she says, or they just may need more effective daily routines around completing assignments.
Whatever the case, don’t blame your child for the difficulty—your best bet is to connect with your child’s teacher sooner than later, Dr. Pirayesh offers. Talk to the school about what is going on during homework time, and discuss what options might be available to make it more manageable for your child.
Riggs agrees that building an effective partnership with your child’s teacher is imperative. “As a teacher, I am so grateful when a parent asks about their child's learning and wants to be an active participant in helping their child be successful,” she says.
Of course, if you have concerns about your child's learning, it's also a good idea to speak with their pediatrician or healthcare provider.
A Word From Verywell
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how involved a parent should be during homework time. The goal is for your child to become more independent as they get older. For the most part, it makes sense to go with your instincts in terms of how much to assist or when to pull back. At the same time, homework should not be a nightly struggle, and if that's the case for your family, you shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s teacher for help.
National Education Association. The Power of Play in Kindergarten .
Learning Disabilities Association of America. How Much Time Should Be Spent on Homework?
Harvard University Center on the Developing Child. Executive Function & Self-Regulation .
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. What are some signs of learning disabilities?
By Wendy Wisner Wendy Wisner is a lactation consultant and writer covering maternal/child health, parenting, general health and wellness, and mental health. She has worked with breastfeeding parents for over a decade, and is a mom to two boys.
Because differences are our greatest strength
How to help kids with tricky math homework
![help your kid with homework](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0qf7j048i0q/7nozjTQrvoZnihgJAHmsyL/b6062ea05e780c77ce9dbacba470cf54/Portrait_of_Gretchen_Vierstra.jpg?w=3840&q=75&h=3840&fm=webp)
By Gretchen Vierstra, MA
Expert reviewed by Bob Cunningham, EdM
Quick tips for helping kids with math homework
Quick tip 1, acknowledge feelings and effort..
![help your kid with homework](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0qf7j048i0q/68rFpvnokHrByzU4HzOA5L/3e4f05281a9af11daabffddd78711db2/Enhance60_360x360_tipsize_UnderstoodHowtoHelpKidsWithTrickyMathHomeworkAcknowledgefeelingsandeffort1.png?w=179&h=179&fm=webp&fit=fill)
Not understanding what to do can be stressful. Take a moment to acknowledge that, and praise the effort. For example, “I’m proud that you know what the homework is and brought home the right materials.”
Quick tip 2
Find an example math problem..
![help your kid with homework](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0qf7j048i0q/3NaVosuIwx92VtbRueSwFB/a74041124389dda748341a3f45c325de/Enhance60_360x360_tipsize_UnderstoodHowtoHelpKidsWithTrickyMathHomeworkFindanexamplemathproblem2.png?w=179&h=179&fm=webp&fit=fill)
Find a similar math problem that’s been solved. This could be a problem from class or a sample problem from a textbook that includes the answer. You can also look for examples online by searching for terms from the assignment.
Quick tip 3
Help kids jog their memory..
![help your kid with homework](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0qf7j048i0q/61mtH3XN227NvuGQVd38Ty/63ebcf7e864e99b8a6b1a0ad5098123f/Enhance60_360x360_tipsize_UnderstoodHowtoHelpKidsWithTrickyMathHomeworkHelpkidsjogtheirmemory3.png?w=179&h=179&fm=webp&fit=fill)
Look at the example problem and its solution together. Then ask, “How did the teacher say to do the problem?” Having a completed example in front of them can help kids remember directions from class.
Quick tip 4
Take notes on the process..
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Work through the first problem together and make notes on each step. This reminds kids that math is a process. They can use these notes to show teachers their efforts and get feedback on how they solved the problem.
Quick tip 5
Say it’s ok..
![help your kid with homework](https://images.ctfassets.net/p0qf7j048i0q/4NdLbMFf5Tz3cqjmuoyJXl/9f521088d2d05b85243f15eb98b9d3fc/Enhance60_360x360_tipsize_UnderstoodHowtoHelpKidsWithTrickyMathHomeworkSayit___sOK5.png?w=179&h=179&fm=webp&fit=fill)
Doing tricky math takes practice. Say that it’s OK to not know the answers every time. And if you’ve ever struggled with math, be open about that. It helps kids know they’re not the only ones who struggle.
Math homework can be tricky for lots of kids. And sometimes the adults helping kids aren’t sure how to help — or how to do the math problem themselves.
When kids have trouble with math homework, the most important thing is to not dwell on it for too long. A good rule is to not spend more than 10 to 20 minutes working through math homework that kids are unsure of. Spending more time than this can be frustrating for everyone — without providing many benefits.
Here are other things to avoid when kids ask for help with math homework:
Try not to contact the teacher right away. Kids might give up easily if they’re not sure what to do. But it’s important for them to think of ways to approach the problem. That way they can share their process with the teacher for feedback.
Don't write a note that just says they didn’t understand it. Instead, be specific about what kids are having trouble with, like adding fractions. This information helps you and the teacher find the “missing piece.”
Having trouble with math homework doesn’t always mean kids have trouble with math in general. Keeping track of what you see can help you figure out what’s going on and the best way to help.
Dive deeper
What causes trouble with math homework.
Here are some of the reasons why kids might need help with their math homework:
Trouble with math: When kids need help with math homework, it may be a sign that they’re having trouble with math in general. Learn more about math challenges in kids .
Trouble with reading: To solve some math problems — especially word problems — kids have to read well. Learn more about reading challenges , and what can help.
Trouble with homework: Sometimes kids may be having trouble with homework in general, not just the math homework. They may even feel anxious about it. Learn about homework anxiety .
Parents and caregivers: It’s common for families to have trouble helping kids with homework, including math homework. Get answers to common questions about homework and ways you can help your child. Use these conversation starters to reach out to your child’s teacher for more support with math homework.
Educators: Learn more about using evidence-based math practices to teach your students.
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How to help your child with their homework.
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Helping your child with their homework can be tricky to navigate. While it’s hard to see your child struggle through difficult tasks, they won’t learn anything if you do their work for them!
Here’s what learning science research and IXL experts have to say about the best way to help out with homework, as well as a few IXL features that can support you along the way.
Tips for helping your child with their homework
The Harvard Graduate School of Education suggests thinking of yourself as a homework project manager for your kids. This means you should focus on helping your child to develop a good process for doing homework, rather than assisting with the actual assignments themselves. Some practical ways you can do this are by:
- helping your child make a to-do list
- helping them estimate how much time it’ll take to complete each assignment
- encouraging them to stay on-task
- praising them when they finish their work!
If possible, have your child do homework in a communal space, like at the kitchen table. This ensures that you can be nearby for support if needed. If you have other children or your child has friends who live in the neighborhood, it can be beneficial for them all to do homework together. Homework can feel like a lonely task, and turning it into a communal activity can help make it more fun!
Homework help tips from IXL experts
Members of IXL’s team also weighed in on their top strategies for helping children with homework. Maureen Schrader, a former teacher with 18 years of experience in education, said, “You want students to take as much ownership of their learning as possible.” Homework is an opportunity for learners to develop executive functioning skills and demonstrate responsibility. To that end, parents should “set their child up for success by providing a good learning space and organizational tools, like a whiteboard calendar.”
Similarly, former teacher and instructional coach Sheila Berger suggested parents try to make a clean, quiet, and comfortable space at home for their child to work. She also warned against parents acting like a “back seat driver” for their child’s homework, saying, “If they need help finding something, help them without doing it for them, so they can do it alone next time.”
IXL tools for homework help
IXL offers a variety of features to help students learn and practice skills! Here are some tools that you can try out with your child if they need homework assistance. If your child is a bit older, they can use these tools to learn more independently while you step back and supervise.
Learn with an example
Before an activity, it always helps to see a demonstration of what you’re supposed to do. When starting a math or English language arts skill, encourage your child to select “Learn with an Example” to see an example question, a step-by-step walkthrough of how to find the answer, and an explanation of the key concepts within the topic. Going through this example together can help your child see how a skill works and prime them for practicing!
Answer explanations
It can be frustrating to get a question wrong, but mistakes are also great opportunities to learn! If a student answers a question incorrectly, IXL provides a step-by-step explanation of how to correctly answer that specific question. This hands-on practice combined with immediate feedback gives learners a strong base to learn from their errors and try again on the next question. Remind your child to read through explanations carefully before they move on to the next problem!
![help your kid with homework Answer Explanation Example Image](https://blog.ixl.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/AnswerExplanation_Cropped.jpg)
Overall, the best thing you can do is provide support and guidance for your child while they handle their homework. This will help them develop problem-solving skills, content knowledge, and confidence.
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How parents can juggle work and support their child’s education.
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When students start the year eager and prepared, they not only set a positive tone for their studies ... [+] but also make it easier for teachers to identify any changes in their performance.
In the U.S., school start dates vary significantly by region, with some states like Georgia beginning the academic year as early as July. No matter the age, starting the school year on the right foot and establishing good work habits are crucial for academic success. When students start the year eager and prepared, they not only set a positive tone for their studies but also make it easier for teachers to identify any changes in their performance.
Parents can provide practical support in a myriad of ways. Remote working parents even have an advantage- it’s never too early to teach the importance of a dedicated workspace. Establishing a consistent routine for homework and study time helps children develop good habits and reduces last-minute stress. Creating a designated, distraction-free space for homework can help children focus and work more efficiently.
Staying Informed and Involved
Leverage lunch hours during work to maintain regular contact with teachers through emails, parent-teacher conferences, and school apps. Staying informed about their progress and areas needing attention is crucial. Put some of the onus on children as well; encourage children to ask questions and engage actively in their classes, fostering a love for learning by showing interest in their studies. At home, have children use school-specific portals and educational resources for extra practice.
Building Independence and Resilience
While it may feel awkward at first, try adopting a manager/employee dynamic with children during homework and study time:
- Encourage children to tackle challenges independently before seeking help, building resilience and critical thinking.
- Students should maintain open communication about their school experiences and any difficulties they face to alleviate anxiety and create a supportive environment.
- Establish structured rules and expectations for recreational screen time thereafter.
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Best 5% interest savings accounts of 2024, enhancing learning and development.
Foster a love for personal development by reading together. Engaging in mutual book discussions can enhance comprehension and critical thinking skills. (A child’s teacher will have recommendations for them, but here are a few to add to your list .) If budget allows, consider online tutoring services for personalized academic support.
Providing support as a working parent involves helping children find a balance, similar to how demonstrating effective work-life balance in a professional setting can garner employer support and potentially benefit career growth.
Help children balance schoolwork and extracurricular activities, which are crucial for social and emotional development. Support their sports, arts, music, or coding interests through after-school programs, community centers, or online classes. Teach children to organize their work, manage their time, and set achievable goals. Most importantly, teach kids techniques for managing stress and balancing school responsibilities with relaxation and leisure activities.
Preparing for College Success
Excelling in advanced courses is crucial for college applications for high school students. Addressing skill gaps and familiarizing themselves with upcoming courses can ensure a strong semester start. Encourage virtual study groups for collaborative learning and peer support. Alicia Carpenter, president of New York tutoring and test prep network Forum Education , notes that grades are irreplaceable in college admissions, and early low grades are hard to recover from.
“These days, top applicants looking for an edge are almost universally taking time at the end of the summer to preview new content and — just as crucially — build study skills relevant to new frameworks. As a result, these students enter the school year with the confidence and tools to succeed from day one, securing top grades and freeing up mental and emotional bandwidth to manage a rigorous course load and extracurriculars.”
Employer Support for Working Parents
Arranging childcare during the school year can significantly impact productivity. The nonprofit organization Afterschool Alliance reports that lapses in after-school care can result in parents losing up to eight days of work annually, costing businesses upwards of $300 billion annually.
“The schedule misalignment of traditional school hours and the traditional workday is a silent killer of workplace productivity that employers cannot afford to ignore. Once that last school bell rings, working parents are suddenly distracted and sometimes absent from work as they are forced to quickly shift from work mode to parent mode,” explains Wes Burke, CHRO of Care.com.
Addressing these challenges with effective strategies is essential for both parents and employers. Employers can help by supporting their working parents in various ways:
- Offering flexible work schedules allows parents to align their hours with their child’s school schedule, making them available for homework help.
- Subsidizing after-school programs and childcare service s ensures children have a safe, structured environment with academic support.
- Creating a family-friendly workplace and encouraging parent support groups provide parents with a network for sharing homework tips and resources.
- Resources like employee assistance programs (EAPs) helps parents manage stress, allowing them to be more supportive during homework time.
In their 2024 Future of Benefits Report , Care.com found that 80% of employers report child benefits positively impacting productivity. As a result, Burke believes a child’s education is not a personal issue that working parents have to navigate alone. “Employers have a role to play here, too. It’s simple: the businesses who foster family-friendly workplaces are the ones that thrive, witnessing increased productivity, retention, and recruitment across the board by supporting the needs of their working parents.”
Supporting a child's education as a working parent means planning ahead and using all available resources. It might feel strange at first, but treating homework time like a manager guiding an employee can help. Creating structure, even for young kids, builds a supportive learning environment.
This setup reduces stress by establishing a predictable routine, making juggling work and home responsibilities easier. It also improves work-life balance by helping everyone use their time better. Parents have more free time as kids become more independent with their studies. Getting involved in your child’s education strengthens family bonds and communication, leading to a happier and more productive home life, which benefits both work and personal time.
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How To Limit Your Teen's Screen Time
Getting teens to put away their smartphones and other electronics can be a challenge. Learn how to limit your teen's screen time effectively.
Average Screen Time for Teens
Why too much screen time is harmful.
- Tips for Limiting Your Teen's Screen Time
Screen-Free Activities for Teens
Without adult guidance, most teenagers would spend almost all of their waking hours behind a screen, and statistics on average screen time for teens reflect that. Whether they're texting on their smartphones or watching videos on their laptops, their screen use can easily get out of control.
If your child says that "everyone is doing it," they may be correct—technology is a necessary part of most teens' education and social lives, after all—but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences of unlimited screen time. Let's look at strategies you can use to limit your teen's screen time and how it can benefit your whole family.
Carey Kirkella / Getty Images
Before the COVID-19 pandemic, it was reported that children between the ages of 8 and 12 spent four to six hours per day using screens, while teens spent up to nine hours per day using screens. This equated to 63 hours per week and more than 3,000 hours per year on average.
However, in a post-pandemic world, studies have shown that tweens and teens between the ages of 11 and 17 had their daily screen time increase by 1 hour during the period of lockdowns and school closures, with little evidence to show that the average screen time for teens has reverted back to pre-pandemic levels.
Compare those numbers to what some researchers have identified as healthier "moderate" use (about one to four hours a day), and it's easy to see how much room for improvement there is with regard to screen time for most teens.
Too much screen time has been linked to a variety of problems. Excessive electronic use raises the risk of obesity, interferes with social activities and family time, and takes a toll on a teen's mental health .
In contrast, a study published in JAMA Pediatrics found that parental monitoring of a child's media use can have protective benefits on their academic performance, as well as their social, emotional, and physical development. Taking the time to strategize on how to set limits is worthwhile for a parent, as it can also help to prepare you for the resistance you will likely encounter from your teen.
Tips for Limiting Your Teen's Screen Time
Knowing that parents can make a difference for their children by limiting screen use, what can you do? What strategies have helped other parents implement and enforce these rules?
Every teen is different, and a strategy that works for one may not work for others. That said, we hope that at least a few of these tips for limiting your teen's screen time will help you set healthy boundaries.
Make screen time a privilege
One of the ways that screen time has changed over time is that what was once considered a privilege is now considered more of a right. If you grew up sharing a family computer, for instance, you may have felt fortunate to get an hour to use it. When there are more screens than ever available to teens 24/7, it places more pressure on parents to say when their child can and cannot have screen time.
Make it clear that screen time is a privilege that needs to be earned. At first, this may be difficult, but the lessons from learning to delay the gratification of screen time and control their impulses will likely stay with your child for a long time
Also, establish clear rules and boundaries for screen time, and be sure that your teen is aware of what behaviors can result in their privilege of screen time being taken away. One expectation that can be helpful to establish is that their homework and chores need to be done first, and then they can turn on the TV, play games, or go on the computer.
Model healthy habits
It can be helpful to have screen time limits that everyone in your household is expected to follow. Telling your teen to shut off their electronics while you’re sitting in front of the TV is likely to be less effective than letting them know that it's time for everyone to shut down their screens. Teens will learn more from what you do than what you say. Be a good role model by limiting your own screen time.
Let your teen see you make the choice between scrolling on your phone versus reading a book, for example. Show them how you have learned to treat media as a privilege.
Discourage multitasking
It's common for teens to believe that they can multitask effectively; for example, they may try to text while doing their homework or use social media while talking on the phone. If your child has a phone , you're probably all too familiar with their justifications for doing screen time multitasking.
Discourage your teen from doing two things at once and discuss how multitasking actually interferes with productivity.
Establish clear rules
Most teens, especially younger tweens and teens, aren’t mature enough to handle free reign with their electronics. Establish rules that will keep your teen safe and help your teen make good choices with video games, cell phones, TVs, and computers.
Two helpful rules that you might consider implementing are having a set time when screens need to be turned off at night and establishing bedrooms as no-screen-zones.
Encourage physical activity
Encourage your teen to get regular exercise. Going for a walk, playing a game of catch, dancing to their favorite tunes, or even doing some yard work can support your teen in getting the physical activity they need each day. Finding activities that you're able to enjoy as a family can also help your teen to experience movement as more social and fun.
Physical activities not only support time away from screens but they're also beneficial for your child's physical, social, and emotional development.
Educate your teen on media
Media literacy is an important skill young people need. Make sure to have frequent conversations about various aspects of media. Explain how advertisements and sponsored content can create false narratives that attempt to make them feel inadequate in order to try convince them to purchase their products. Discuss the dangers of too much violence exposure and help them learn how to be an informed viewer.
If your teen is obsessed with social media and always wants the latest trend—try educating them about how advertising on social media works. There are several videos that break down how much an influencer gets paid for a post and all the gifted items they receive to create ads with. By showing your teen how much they are earning, it could make them rethink the credibility of online advertisements (or make them want to be an influencer).
Enforce screen-free mealtimes
Shut off your TV during mealtimes and don’t allow text messaging or web surfing while you’re eating. Instead, use the opportunity to talk about your day. You may be hearing more and more about how family dinners can make kid's lives better. Don't let screens cheat your family out of this priceless time.
Schedule screen-free days
Every once in a while it can be helpful to have a family-wide screen-free day. You might even consider a longer digital detox like a week-long vacation from electronics twice a year. It’s a great way to ensure that everyone still has plenty of activities to engage in that don’t involve electronics.
In addition to allowing for solo activities, try to fit in some screen-free family fun, too. Whether you play a board game or go for a family hike, make it clear that during your time together there won’t be any electronic use.
Hold family meetings
Schedule a family meeting to discuss screen time use. Allow your teen to give input about the household screen time rules. Address problems and problem-solving together. Make it clear that you want everyone in the family to develop a healthy relationship with electronics. Give each family member the opportunity to share their thoughts.
Studies have found that interparent conflict (conflict between parents) in setting screen time limits is associated with a child having more conflict in their own relationships. Before setting media limits for your teen, make sure you work together with your partner or co-parent so you can present and enforce these rules as a united team.
The studies discussed earlier tell us some of the hazards of excess screen time and how monitoring and limiting the use of electronics improve outcomes for kids academically, socially, emotionally, and physically. Yet the benefits of limiting screen time might seem even more real to you if you think about what children miss out on when they are constantly behind a screen.
Non-Screen Activity Ideas for Teens
Some things your teen can do instead of looking at a screen include:
- Chat with parents or siblings
- Socialize with friends in person
- Be creative and use their imagination
- Play outside and enjoy nature
- Do homework
- Get enough rest
Take a moment and think of some of the activities you enjoyed growing up and how it would be different today. Don't let your child miss out on those opportunities.
Screen Time and Children . The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry . 2020.
A Narrative Review of Screen Time and Wellbeing among Adolescents before and during the COVID-19 Pandemic: Implications for the Future . Sports (Basel) . 2023.
Digital engagement and its association with adverse psychiatric symptoms: A longitudinal cohort study utilizing latent class analysis . Computers in Human Behavior . 2022.
Increased Screen Time as a Cause of Declining Physical, Psychological Health, and Sleep Patterns: A Literary Review . Cureus . 2022.
Protective Effects of Parental Monitoring of Children’s Media Use . JAMA Pediatrics. 2014.
TV Violence and Children . The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry . 2017.
A House Divided: Parental Disparity and Conflict Over Media Rules Predict Children’s Outcomes . Computers in Human Behavior . 2018.
Related Articles
Screen time can be safer for your kids with these devices
When it comes to kids and screens, we know that not all tech is created equally. There’s a big difference between children plugging in and tuning out on a device with zero parental controls for hours on end – versus interacting with carefully curated educational content for 20 minutes at a time with a parent.
There’s also a lot of in-between.
Educators and experts worldwide are urging parents to take action to prevent childhoods from being lost to YouTube rabbit holes and TikTok time drains.
Even kids admit to feeling better without devices and say they wish adults would do more to help them learn and grow without being obsessively tethered to tech.
“I’m a teenager and I struggle with how much time I spend on my phone. I find myself scrolling on social media when I could be outside in the weather I wished would come all school year long,” wrote a reader after my last column on the pros and cons of screens, especially in the summer.
I also heard from parents who said they continually struggle with “ground rules, non-negotiables, and all the things to set boundaries around technology. It still requires ongoing, consistent, unwavering management.”
Still, another parent wrote, “The tech is ridiculous and needs to be reined in with regulation.”
A 17-year-old family friend, who asked that I not use her name, said that as a high school student, she wishes “phones were never introduced to my generation because of how much it affected my childhood and mental health.”
So where does this all leave us? What’s a well-meaning parent to do?
Consider “training wheel” devices
Just because your child wants a smartphone doesn’t mean you must hand over a new iPhone or the latest Samsung Galaxy handset and hope for the best. Take advantage of gadgets built to grow along with kids.
Several phones fit the bill here, including devices from Bark , Gabb , Troomi . The one I recommend the most to my friends and family right now is from Pinwheel . It offers five Android phone models with built-in parental controls.
There’s no web browser, and no access to social media. However, you can see your child’s text messages and call history. From the parent portal, you can choose from 1,200 apps to allow or block. Setting time limits on each app and shutting everything down at bedtime is also straightforward.
One of the best features is that you can use it with your current service – AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, etc. – which is great if you want to add it to an existing family plan (depending on the model you choose). You have to pay for the phone upfront, and they start at $99. The ongoing subscription is $15 per month.
Another good option is to go for a basic flip phone , as celebrity parents such as Jerry Seinfeld have recently spoken about doing.
What’s a safe tablet for kids?
For tablets, you can use parental controls on your old iPad. Amazon makes kids tablets that are inexpensive, easy and safe , and AT&T recently launched a new kids-first device called the amiGO Jr. Tab that I’ve been reviewing since it launched earlier this year.
In a recent poll , AT&T said some 62% of parents reported feeling guilty giving their child a device, with concerns over behavioral issues and exposure to inappropriate or unintended sites as their biggest worries.
The amiGo Jr. Tab is supposed to help. It comes pre-loaded with apps and activities aimed at inspiring kids to be creative and explore new ideas instead of just zoning out. It also offers strong guardrails to prevent any adult or mature content. It also makes managing screen time a tad easier with a built-in app that allows parents to limit playtime.
The amiGo Jr. Tab costs $166 upfront, or you can pay in monthly installments, and you’ll have to either add it to your existing AT&T plan for $20/month or pay $55/month for a new account.
A tablet made just for kids is great if you’ve already decided that’s the route you want to take, but as the warnings from experts grow louder, a host of other new options for parents are popping up at a steady pace.
Use tech to help manage devices
I just started trying out Aura’s $10/month parental control and child safety features. It joins parental control apps like Bark , Qustodio , Net Nanny , Canopy , Family Time, and many more. The goal is to create safer online spaces for kids by helping caregivers watch what they’re doing and who they’re interacting with.
It’s too early for me to say how Aura stacks up against the others, but the most essential feature of any set of parental controls is the ability to use them to help kids grow and learn, not just “bust” them.
A study in the UK recently published in the Journal of Children and Media concluded that “parental controls should not be considered a ‘silver bullet’ which will guarantee online safety.” The study concludes that parents should let kids know when they’re using watchdog-like apps and “integrate them as part of “positive parenting centered on open communication and respectful negotiation within the family.” If you don’t set it up right, the research suggests it can lead to “higher levels of family conflict and distrust, or had negative impacts on children’s privacy and autonomy.”
What’s ahead: AI tools to help create better screen time for kids
The online world reflects humanity, from its most beautiful aspects to its darkest thoughts. It can be overwhelming even for an adult, and school-age children don’t benefit from exposure to the nastier parts of the internet in any way.
AI also mirrors society, but it’s a tool we can actually use for good. It can identify virtually anything, including the safety of any given webpage or search term, acting as a sort of protective bubble for kids as they traverse the internet.
“We’re not in the business of taking the internet away from kids; as any parent can attest, kids want what they can’t have,” Tim Estes, CEO of Angel AI , writes via email. “The online world also can be an incredibly valuable resource for kids, who risk missing out on key learning opportunities, as well as the chance to build healthy online habits, if they don’t explore the internet earlier on in life.”
Angel AI is an app expected out this fall that allows kids to explore the internet while holding the digital hand of an AI built specifically to keep them out of harm’s way. Estes said all queries and activity on the app are secured and encrypted, and no searches are linked to any personally identifiable information.
In an early test of the app via my iPhone, the way it works is both simple and intuitive. I open the app, allow it to connect to my microphone, and then tap “Ask.” A floaty little AI friend pops up and asks what I want to explore. “Tell me about the biggest dinosaurs ever discovered,” I say.
The AI “thinks” for a second and then shows a picture and some text, reading it in the same voice that an adult might use when speaking to a child. “The biggest dinosaur ever discovered is called Argentinosaurus,” it says before automatically sliding a new image onto the screen and reading again. “Argentinosaurus was as long as four school buses! Isn’t that interesting?”
After each search, you can dive deeper into any topic or ask another question. Kids who are mesmerized by videos can search specifically for videos or even just images.
Summer and screens: How to get your kids to put their phones down this summer
“How can I get better at Fortnight?” I ask, not just because I’m pretending to be a kid, but because I need some pointers. “Here are a few videos I found,” the AI chirps back, along with three videos that, after examination, are both informative and totally kid-safe. (We’ll see if they help my score, but for now, the app seems to be doing its job.)
If I try to search for something less, well, child-friendly, the AI’s safeguards kick in and guide me toward a safer train of thought. A query for “a bunch of guns,” for example, is met with a message that the child should ask a grownup about it, along with some safer (but exciting) question options like “How do astronauts breathe in space?” and “What planets could humans live on?”
“Angel understands age-inappropriate content and sensitive topics that are best handled by an adult,” Estes explains. “You can’t get to the open, unsafe Internet through Angel. The content Angel looks at or creates has to come through the content and topical filtering, ensuring its appropriateness, regardless of where it originated.”
Meanwhile, I have a new alert in my parent account: Apparently, my fictional child asked the AI to show them some guns. This is a great feature that, again, does what it’s supposed to do – get my “child” and me talking about something critically important.
Jennifer Jolly is an Emmy Award-winning consumer tech columnist and on-air correspondent. The views and opinions expressed in this column are the author's and do not necessarily reflect those of USA TODAY. Contact her at [email protected] .
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Third to fifth grades. Many children will be able to do homework independently in grades 3-5. Even then, their ability to focus and follow through may vary from day to day. "Most children are ...
break the homework task into smaller logical chunks. discuss how much time is required to complete each chunk. work backwards from the deadline and create a timeline. put the timeline where the ...
Having a designated space for homework can help your child stay on task. It should be well lit and have extra school supplies within reach. It should be well lit and have extra school supplies ...
Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning. With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents: 1. Work Out a Working Routine. Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure.
Step 1: Set Up Your Child for Success. Your child's study environment can have a significant impact on their homework performance. Create a space that is free from distractions like the television, smartphones, or noisy siblings. The study space should be comfortable, well lit, and have all the necessary materials your child might need, such ...
In my experience, the theatricality of being timed helps relax children who would otherwise feel daunted by a mountain of homework. As each piece of work gets done, parents can add meaningful positive reinforcement. Exclaiming, "Another assignment done! And done well!" helps your child feel like what they are doing matters.
Help them make a plan. On heavy homework nights or when there's an especially hefty assignment to tackle, encourage your child break up the work into manageable chunks. Create a work schedule for the night if necessary — and take time for a 15-minute break every hour, if possible. Keep distractions to a minimum.
If your child has trouble with verbal memory, try using visual study aids like graphs, maps, or drawings. Practice "muscle memory" exercises to help kids with working memory. The challenge: Learning independently. It's important for kids to learn how to do homework without help. Using a homework contract can help your child set realistic ...
Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location. Step 2. Set up a homework center.
Regardless of a child's age or challenges, parents can encourage sound homework routines for a successful start to the school year. First, students should consider how to create organized work ...
To keep your child engaged, you need to be a cheerleader. (Here's how to talk to your child about confidence .) If your child is genuinely unable to do their homework, you, in tandem with a teacher or school psychologist, must figure out why and enlist the necessary help. A learning difficulty or anxiety over problems at home may be affecting ...
So when your child is overwhelmed, help her figure out why, and then model strategies that foster independence, confidence, and well-being. This piece is adapted from Freireich and Platzer's new ...
Keep the homework area quiet, with TVs and cell phones off. (Some kids actually do focus better when listening to music. If you play music, pick something instrumental, with no distracting vocals, and don't let your child crank up the volume.) If brothers or sisters are playing nearby, or other family members are talking so your child loses ...
Homework Kids are more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework. Learn More. Help Your Elementary Schooler. ... With your help and some practice, kids can learn a 3-step process. Try this. Parent-teacher conferences. Kids and teens do better in school when parents get involved.
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Stay focused on your job, which is to help your child do their job. Don't do it for them. If you feel frustrated, take a break from helping your child with homework. Your blood pressure on the rise is a no-win for everyone. Take five or ten minutes to calm down, and let your child do the same if you feel a storm brewing.
Help your kids learn how to break up long-term assignments into chunks and assist in planning when each section will be completed. Step 4: Motivate! Your encouragement goes a long way towards motivating your child to do homework. Praise your child for steps along the way, not just successful completion of homework.
3. Create a homework plan. When your child becomes overly frustrated with their homework, do not force them. Instead, together create a plan to best tackle it: read and understand the homework ...
We get it—no matter your child's age, getting homework done can be a challenge. Even for children in elementary school, their homework takes time, focus, and energy to complete. So here are 8 essential tips to help a child with their homework: Minimize Distractions. Make it as easy as possible for your child to focus during homework time.
Homework becomes more of a "thing" as your child gets a little older, though it tends to be light in early elementary school, increasing in amount as the years pass. Typically by third grade, kids receive up to three assignments per week, and homework can take up to 20 minutes.
When kids have trouble with math homework, the most important thing is to not dwell on it for too long. A good rule is to not spend more than 10 to 20 minutes working through math homework that kids are unsure of. Spending more time than this can be frustrating for everyone — without providing many benefits. Here are other things to avoid ...
This means you should focus on helping your child to develop a good process for doing homework, rather than assisting with the actual assignments themselves. Some practical ways you can do this are by: helping your child make a to-do list. helping them estimate how much time it'll take to complete each assignment. encouraging them to stay on ...
"Kids are tired at the end of the day, so you want to make sure your child's basic needs are met before beginning their homework. Are they hungry, thirsty or do they simply need a brain break ...
The bedroom is a place for sleep, rest, and relaxation — not work and stress. 2. Create a consistent schedule. It is important for kids with ADD/ADHD to have a consistent routine. This will help your child start his or her homework and focus. Set a time each day for your child to sit down and complete his or her work. 3.
Establishing a consistent routine for homework and study time helps children develop good habits and reduces last-minute stress. Creating a designated, distraction-free space for homework can help ...
How To Limit Your Teen's Screen Time. Getting teens to put away their smartphones and other electronics can be a challenge. Learn how to limit your teen's screen time effectively.
Help your kids stay organized with this mobile homework and supply crate. Influencer Guide ... Back To School: DIY Hallway Homework Station . School is just around the corner! Whether they're virtual or in-person, it's always nice to have a designated space for your kids. Cara Newhart walks you through the steps to make your kids their own ...
Still, another parent wrote, "The tech is ridiculous and needs to be reined in with regulation." A 17-year-old family friend, who asked that I not use her name, said that as a high school ...
The Athletic will be publishing stadium guides for all 32 NFL teams just ahead of the Week 1 kickoff, and we'd like Chiefs fans to answer a few questions about the Arrowhead Stadium game day ...
Then help your child think of the supplies needed: The book, some note cards, a pen for taking notes, the teacher's list of questions to answer, and a report cover. ... You can come up with three things and let your child choose one. Or if homework or a particular chore has been a problem, that's the natural place to begin.