what makes me sad essay

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Why Do I Feel Sad Essay

• Categories: Mental Health

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Words: 596 |

Updated: 15 November, 2024

Words: 596 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Introduction: understanding sadness, personal experiences that bring us down, the weight of society's expectations, the biology behind sadness, the impact of sadness on well-being, conclusion: finding help and support.

• Kessler RC., Chiu WT., Demler O., Merikangas KR., Walters EE (2005). "Prevalence, Severity, and Comorbidity of 12-Month DSM-IV Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication". Archives of General Psychiatry.
• Beck AT., Ward CH., Mendelson M., Mock J., Erbaugh J (1961). "An Inventory for Measuring Depression". Archives of General Psychiatry.
• Murray CJL., Lopez AD (1996). "The Global Burden of Disease: A Comprehensive Assessment". World Health Organization.
• Nolen-Hoeksema S (2001). "Gender Differences in Depression". Current Directions in Psychological Science.
• Seligman ME (1975). "Learned Helplessness". Annual Review of Medicine.

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20 things that make me sad, we all get sad sometimes..

By nature, I am a very emotional person. Sometimes I am crippled by unbearable sadness over a variety of things. Some of the things that make me sad are fairly trivial, while others are huge issues in our society. Whatever the case, I'm grateful that I am able to feel these human emotions—remorse, despair, sadness—no matter how upsetting these emotions can be. Without further ado, here are some of the things that make me sad:

1. I hate seeing dead animals on the road. They can't even get any peace when they keep getting run over again and again.

2. i only have one life to make something of myself., 3. i can never change the past., 4. not everyone gets to say goodbye to the people they love., 5. there are only a few restaurants i actually like that deliver., 6. while i worry about trivial problems, other countries are filled with people who are willing to risk their lives to escape into the united states., 7. three words: animal. abuse. commercials., 8. what if i never see some of the people i graduated with ever again, 9. the "vampire diaries" gets me. every. single. time., 10. my bank account makes me want to cry 9 times out of 10., 11. i'll probably never be able to afford my dream house., 12. i should have kept a journal of my entire life., 13. some people can't figure out the difference between "you're" and "your.", 14. people with low self-esteem don't know when they deserve better., 15. chinese restaurants aren't open on mondays., 16. chick-fil-a isn't open on sundays., 17. i can't afford, nor do i have the time, to take care of a puppy., 18. cats shed. a lot., 19. i'll never know if i could've been the world's greatest gymnast or something., 20. i have less than a year until i'll be done with school. aka i have less than a year to get my stuff together., subscribe to our newsletter, 5 things to do that are better than writing a paper, don't waste your time trying to write that paper when there are so many more interesting things you could be doing..

Writing a paper is never fun and is rarely rewarding. The writer's block , the page requirement, be specific, but don’t summarize, make sure you fixed any grammatical errors, did you even use spellcheck? and analyze, analyze, analyze .

Papers can be a major pain. They take up so much time and effort that by the end of the process you hate yourself and you hate the professor for making life so difficult. Questions of your existence start roaming in your mind. Am I even cut out for college if I can’t write a single paper? Am I even capable of taking care of myself if I lack the energy to open my laptop and start typing?

Why put yourself in this horrible pit of doubt? Here are five things that are better than writing a paper.

1. Meditate

What’s better than sitting in a criss-cross position, doing nothing? Not that paper! Meditate and focus on your breathing, relieve the stress in your life. That paper has a lot of negative energy and you, my friend, deserve nothing but the best.

2. Groom yourself

Enjoy a day at the spa or do your nails at home. Everyone loves a well-groomed person and thinking about that paper has made you forget about personal hygiene. Don't let yourself go for an inanimate object. Make sure you are doing well physically before giving your energy to other people or things.

3. Eat lots of chocolate

Chocolate makes the world go round, so have as much as your heart desires. Indulge in some luscious milk chocolate or even white chocolate, but if you dare say you love dark chocolate we will have a problem.

4. Go for a walk

Walk outside and enjoy the view! Walk your dog , cat or go out with another human. Enjoy your surroundings, take a whiff of that fresh air, get those muscles moving! Keep the mind sane while getting nice toned glutes!

5. Netflix and chill

Netflix is a drug. The best drug ever and the only thing that you should be doing in your life. If any of the other options don’t sound appealing, Netflix always sounds like a good time.

Now, of course, you will have to get that paper done sooner or later, but these five things will help you eventually get to that point. If you don't take care of yourself and make sure that you're are doing well first, how do you possibly think you could successfully get a paper done? Where you stand in your mental and physical state mirror how well you will do on any assignment. Give yourself a break, relax for a bit, and then get grinding on that essay.

10 Reasons Why Sisters Are The Best

Who could be a better friend than your own sister.

I can barely remember back when I was the only child. Most would say it’s because it is extremely difficult to remember things as a toddler but I would say it's because I was bored until my sister came along. My mother always says how important the "sister bond" is and with every year that passes I realize how right she is. Instead of writing a novel about all of the wonderful things there are about having a sister I decided to list a few of them instead.

1. She's your number one fan…and you're her's.

"L" for LOVE!

2. It feels like you guys can communicate telepathically at times with just a look.

3. fights last for about two minutes because you find something funny and have to show them..

Hey come look at this video of a cat talking .

4. Concerts in your car are a regular thing.

5. you have an innumerable amount of inside jokes that are always funny..

If they don't seem funny its because you had to be there obviously.

6. When she gets clothes it's like you're getting new clothes too.

SHARING IS CARING.

7. She's seen you at your worst and doesn't judge you…but has taken pictures to remind you.

You look cute but do you know what's even better? This picture of you with frosted flakes in your hair, come look.

8. She always knows just what to say to cheer you up…or what food (or drink) to make you if words aren't working.

Mac and cheese and whatever bottle is open coming right up.

9. She's the first person to jump to your defense.

God Bless you and good luck if you've wronged either one of us.

10. You have a permanent best friend .

Because no one knows you and loves you like your sister...also you live together so its hard to escape.

How To Adult

You're gonna make it after all..

It is the time of our lives that we are beginning to enter the adult world and most of us, if not all of us, have no idea what we are doing. It's like starting a video game, but skipping the tutorial. We're all just running around aimlessly hoping we accidentally do something right that moves us along the right path. Now that graduation has just happened, or is right around the corner for some of us, it's time to start thinking about how we are going to take care of ourselves once we are on our own.

1. Google is your best friend .

Google will probably answer any question that you have about anything, ever. Why does my foot hurt? What is a 401k? How long can someone survive off of chicken nuggets and wine? I am also willing to bet the answer to the meaning of life is on there somewhere.

2. Don't be afraid to say no!

Being out there in the real world, we are going to have many responsibilities and probably not a lot of free time. When you do have free time, and if you are like me, you aren't going to want to get out and do too much every time single time. It's OK to say no once in awhile. Besides, once you are on your own, you can't pretend your mom won't let you go out if you wanna stay in and relax.

3. Justify your actions/purchases.

If you are going to do something, especially something ridiculous, always make sure you can back it up with some form of logic. * Drops a few hundred dollars on "Supernatural" Convention tickets* They may never come back to town since the series is almost over! If you are going to make a big purchase though, make sure you aren't breaking yourself and have enough money to get you through. You can take risks, but be smart about it.

4. Call mom.

Much like Google, she has the answers to most of life's questions. How long should I microwave the chicken? Does it really matter if I separate the darks and the colors? She is always on your side, even if you are wrong, but she will tell you that you are wrong and help you fix the situation. She isn't going to be there forever, and she will appreciate the phone calls to know how you are doing. Trust me, life will be easier and you will understand a lot more if you talk to her.

5. Remember to do things that make you happy .

It is scary to think about the future. Usually people think that being an adult is wake up, work, eat, pay bills and sleep . Get out there and travel while you can. Continue to work on your happiness. Visit your friends and family . Continue to paint or play video games or set a night each week to completely unwind if those are what you are into. Adult life doesn't have to be a scary thought constantly looming over you. You will be just fine.

7 Signs You're A Starbucks Addict

I'll be the first one to admit i'm addicted to starbucks..

If you’re anything like me, you love a good cup of coffee . My coffee always comes from Starbucks ; I refuse to drink it from anywhere else. Over the years, it’s become one of my biggest addictions. So, if you are aware that you’re a Starbucks addict as well, or maybe you need to check to see if you’re an addict, here are seven ways to tell.

1. You have a Gold Card

Whether you know where your physical shiny Gold Card is that you were sent in the mail (mine is happily in my wallet) or you simply see the Gold Card on the Starbucks app, your Gold Card symbolizes your membership status with Starbucks. My Gold Card status is good through the end of 2017. Naturally, we addicts have no problem maintaining Gold status each year since we have around a drink a day.

2. You know how to use the mobile app like it’s the back of your hand

From mobile ordering to finding a Starbucks that’s open past 9 p.m., the Starbucks app has got your back. The app is basically an addict's best friend . It holds my Gold Card in it with my balance, all of my Star Rewards, coupons and the power to mobile order. Without it, how would we be able to find a Starbucks to get a late night Chai tea latte at 9:30 p.m.? With the mobile app, I've got the power of Starbucks coffee at my fingertips.

3. You mobile order is saved and ready to order with the push of a button

Early morning? Don’t want to sit in the drive through line? We addicts know that the mobile ordering is the solution. All I have to do is go to the order tab on the app and right at the top is my usual drink, grande iced Caffe Americano. I simply click "order," leave my house, grab my drink off the counter, and head off to work. The glares I get as I walk past the line of people waiting to order or receive their drinks are unreal, but what can I say, I’m smart and order ahead.

4. The baristas know you by name

Each one of the baristas knows you by name when you walk into the store. Now some of the drive-thrus even have cameras in them and when you pull up they see your face and say “Hey girl! Want your usual *insert drink here*?” Having the baristas as your friends is a perk, you know them, they know you, and most importantly, they know exactly how to make your drink perfectly.

5. You can’t get through the day without at least one Starbucks

Well, I average two a day so maybe I’m a super addict. A girl’s got to have her espresso in the morning and tea in the afternoon though, right? Most addicts will have to start their mornings out with a coffee or whatever their drink of choice is. If we addicts miss our morning caffeine, we will most likely be grumpy and the best thing to do is get us some caffeine ASAP.

6. The amount of caffeine that you can consume in a day scares most people

During this past finals week I managed to drink 12 shots of espresso in a five-hour period. Granted, I did start shaking around 8, I downed them like a champ and proceeded to write two papers and take an online exam. Caffeine = productivity.

7. Most people around you question why you go to Starbucks everyday

*Sigh* Non-addicts -- they just don’t understand an addict's need for a delicious cup of Starbucks everyday. It’s basically a necessity in our lives and there’s often criticism from those who don’t believe in caffeine or even worse, they prefer Dunkin' Donuts coffee over Starbucks. Some people tell me that I don't need my Starbucks everyday but caffeine isn't an optional, it's necessary.

At this point, everyone around me has realized I’m an addict and while there has been attempts to intervene and halt my addiction, all attempts have failed. I’m a proud Starbucks addict who enjoys their finer coffee. So fellow addicts, keep on drinking Starbucks and block the haters out over a nice hot cup of Starbucks.

6 Ways to Float Through Life

College edition..

College involves a whirlwind of emotions, whether it’s from the stress of an assignment (or twenty), or from fighting with your roommate. It can be overwhelming at times and it’s important to take a step a back and calmly think things over. Maybe gain some perspective. The following aren’t foolproof tips and may not apply to you, but I was able to find success with them (hope you do too!)

1. Don't Show Off

If you're one of those people who can write a 15-page story in one night, then congrats, my friend. Only needed one cup of coffee ? Even better. However, for some of us, ideas don’t flow as soon as we open our laptops. Brainstorming is often a must and not everyone will finish things at the same time. Go at your own pace. Don’t be ashamed that an “easy” assignment took you so long. The point is that you got it done in the first place.

2. Fit in a Nap

College, has its perks: more freedom, friends living in walking distance, and binging on crappy food. But there’s one thing we all dread and it’s waking up in the morning and attending yet another tedious class. It’s strange that in high school we manage to stay there for eight hours straight but the idea of sitting in a two-hour lecture is mind blowing. Hearing a professor drone on for that long has a tiring effect. So, if you have time, don’t ignore that feeling. Give in to it. I’ve learned that a 20-minute nap can actually be effective (don’t get me wrong a two-hour one does the trick too). I’m more willing to do work as the guilt of previously wasting time motivates me.

3. Sit and Observe

Sure, you’ve been told that your “young years” are for mistakes. But why not let other people make those? Let that kid who got caught plagiarizing inspire you to submit all original stuff even if it’s complete shit. Let that girl who drank too much inspire you to stop double fisting and keep track of your limit. There’s no reason to spend another night by the bathroom toilet. Just watch the ridiculousness that goes on and somehow you’ll find yourself becoming the mature one in the room, otherwise known as the momof the friend group.

4. Reward System

We’ve all been through a rough cramming session that has taken a lot out of us. Sure, the real world is hard but studying for hours on end is no cakewalk. A necessary step in keeping one’s sanity is to go celebrate after finishing said studying. Skip the dining hall and order a pizza (suggestion: split with roommate for a cheaper outcome), go to karaoke night at a frat, or if you’re low on cash, have a "Lord of the Rings" marathon. The point is: unwind.

5. Procrastinate the Right Way

The first thing to note is that we all do it. Procrastination takes a hold of the best of us and there’s no way around it. So why not take advantage of that time you aren’t using for homework? Maybe reorganize your closet, throw a load of laundry in or (if you have access to a kitchen) whip up a real dinner for yourself. Ignore the temptation that is telling you to watch a whole season of Parks and Rec.

6. Be Civil with your Roommate

Only some of us are so lucky when we go the “random route” in choosing a roomie. This is a person you will have to see, hear, and sleep next to every day. You’ve got two semesters to perfect living with them. If the two of you aren’t friends, at least discuss schedules and be considerate when they have an 8 am the next day. Also, never start a fight about little things. There’s more of a chance their dirty dishes will get washed if you leave a passive aggressive note or casually mention it.

There’s a million to navigate college, but these small things can apply to life in general. For example, learning to be civil with your roommate can help you learn to put up with that annoying coworker who insists on undermining you at every given opportunity. Dealing with these type of situations can grant you more satisfaction in the long run, instead of taking the easy way out.

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What Makes Me “Me”, Essay Example

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Words: 1009

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A man’s personality is shaped by his genetic potential, the environment in which he grows up, parental guidance and the way he is imparted his education. I was born in Iran, which despite its rich culture and historical past, has stayed a bit off-track from rest of the world in the last few decades of the twentieth century. I was the last child of my parents and therefore had my elder brothers and sisters to watch and emulate. My parents are enlightened individuals who raised their kids in the most appropriate manner, with traditional religious values interspersed with modernity in thought as well as action.

Despite the heavy influence of my elder siblings, I always had an independent streak in me which allowed me to be fiercely adventurous in thought as well as action. A car was my favorite toy as a child and as a teenager I was greatly fascinated by motor sports, which I saw on the television. My father bought me a go kart which I enjoyed riding thoroughly. Though not popular in my native country, I always wished to partake in motor sports somewhere else in the world. With this single minded devotion, which enraptured me during early teens, I started participating in small events in my locality where I and a few friends raced on their personal cars. After this I started participating in professional racing and although I did not win any title, my kart was admired for completing a lap in the fastest time which was due to the modifications in the engine which I carried out myself. This continued for a year or two until I was involved in a serious accident in which I escaped with only minor injuries. This was a wakeup call for my parents who forbid all such activities and asked me to concentrate on academics and finish school before I could consider any ambitious aspirations of becoming a racer. I complied with their directions and concentrated on my studies. But I always felt restricted from within and when I saw life in the United States on television, I always aspired to move there and get myself the best education this world had to offer. I decided to move to the USA when I attained the age of sixteen and although my parents were reluctant to allow me to do so, they complied with my wish and I was allowed to move to the United States to complete higher education. I left Iran with a heavy heart as I started missing my family and the safe haven of my home right at the juncture when I was about to board a flight to America, the land of my dreams. I was feeling very anxious on the flight and was almost panic struck at the idea of living alone in a new land with a culture entirely different from my own. But as I nurtured the ambition to achieve something in life I was excited and fully confident of my ability to carry on with my life as a student, and later as a professional engineer. I moved to Plano in Texas where I pursued my studies and am now a senior at Plano West Senior High School. I have a good academic record throughout my student life and my present OGPA is 3.60/4.00. In addition I possess a good physique and am quite active in sports. I play soccer and represent my school team in local tournaments.

Personally, I feel that I have a creative mind as my thought process is always directed towards discovering and inventing new things, especially anything connected with an engine which fascinates me thoroughly. Designing new engines and cars is my passion and I read a lot about the latest inventions in magazines and the internet. Physics is my pet subject at school and I never miss a class and thoroughly enjoy the lectures from my able and respected teachers. I follow all the major motor sports activities around the world which include formula racing as well car rallies and dirt track racing. I watch motorcycle as well as car races on the television and always enjoy the thrill at the finish line, although I know that somebody else is driving the car, and not me. I dream of building my own racing car someday and race along with the professionals, although it seems very farfetched and ambitious at this stage of my life.

Despite my unique cultural background and different outlook on life, I have blended well into the American society and feel quite at home with my American friends. American society is a great blend of people from different ethnicities and religious backgrounds who live together in a modern mutual relationship. This great country has a rich cultural heritage and offers unique opportunities to everybody and one can make or mar one’s career depending upon the qualities one possesses from within. I work passionately for whatever is my immediate target, in my educational pursuits as well as social interactions. The experiences in my native country have inculcated in me the qualities of hard work, perseverance, passion and responsibility. I aim at working hard throughout in life and do something productive for myself as well as the society in which I live. I feel that a person must leave an indelible impression on the face of earth so that he is remembered for his contributions by the following generations.

If granted the scholarship, I intend to thoroughly reciprocate the honor bestowed on me and work with renewed passion to fulfill the targets set forth before me. I aim to excel academically and increase my knowledge under the guidance of professional teachers and subject experts. Given the opportunity I will fully try to keep up with the academic and practical tasks I am assigned. I am fully confident of my abilities and as I come from another country it is all the more important to prove myself and be a worthy son of my parents whom I intend to make proud of me in the future.

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Essay About Sadness and Whether It Could Be Positive

As early as I could remember myself, my memories have been colored with melancholy and sad feelings. Yes, I admit it: I am a person who loves being sad. As a child, I loved gloomy fairy tales; as a teenager, I loved tragic novels and films, which made my parents worry a lot. I realized that I did not meet their expectations: in their ideal world, a happy person must irradiate joy all the time. In my view, this state of constant life enjoyment looked slightly idiotic. And I kept asking myself if sadness is really so bad.

One of the points, which I have discovered, is that people very seldom differentiate between sadness and misery and mistake one feeling for the other, although they are very different in nature. Misery can only be caused by some deeply traumatic experience; however, sadness in a natural middle between being extremely happy and feeling deep sorrow.

Another important issue is that sadness often accompanies the process of thinking, consideration, and evaluation. If, for example, you once watch the facial expression of a person who is writing something deep in thought, you will see that he/she looks sad.

Furthermore, sadness is absolutely natural: almost all our important events in life are colored with it. We feel it when we have to leave a place where we felt good, we experience it when we are happy because deep down we all know it will not last forever, when parents see their children getting married, they are happy, but at the same time they are sad, because their kids have grown up.

So, sadness is positive. Next time you wake up in the morning and realize you feel sad, do not get upset, it only means you are normal and experience the whole range of emotions.

If you need an outstanding college paper like this sadness essay written for you from scratch by real masters of their craft, place an order at our service now! A professional writer will compose a state-of-the-art original essay in just 3 hours or less!

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Essay on Things That Make Me Happy

Students are often asked to write an essay on Things That Make Me Happy in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Things That Make Me Happy

Introduction.

Happiness is a feeling that everyone enjoys. It comes from different things for different people. For me, there are many things that make me happy. They range from simple pleasures to cherished moments with loved ones.

Family Time

Spending time with my family is one of the things that makes me very happy. Whether it’s a simple dinner, a movie night, or a family trip, these moments are precious to me. I love the laughter, stories, and love that we share.

Reading Books

Reading books is another thing that brings me joy. Books take me to different worlds and let me live different lives. The thrill of a good story always makes me happy.

Helping Others

Helping others is something that gives me great joy. Seeing the smile on someone’s face when I help them is priceless. It makes me feel good about myself and brings me happiness.

In conclusion, many things make me happy. They may seem simple, but they fill my heart with joy. Remember, it’s the small things in life that often bring the most happiness.

250 Words Essay on Things That Make Me Happy

Happiness is a feeling that everyone cherishes. Each person has different things that make them happy. I also have a list of things that bring a smile to my face and fill my heart with joy.

The first thing that makes me happy is my family. Their love and support give me strength. We share laughter, stories, and meals together. These moments are very special to me.

My friends are another source of my happiness. We play, study, and share secrets together. Their company brings me immense joy. They are always there for me, in good times and bad, which makes me feel loved and valued.

Reading books is another thing that makes me happy. Books take me to different worlds and time periods. I learn about new things, people, and places. This knowledge and the journey of imagination that books provide make me very happy.

Music is like magic to me. It can change my mood in an instant. When I listen to my favorite songs, I feel a sense of joy that is hard to explain. It’s like the music speaks to my soul and makes me feel at peace.

In conclusion, happiness comes from simple things in life. For me, it’s my family, friends, books, and music that bring me the most joy. These things make my life beautiful and worth living. Remember, it’s the little things that often bring the greatest happiness.

500 Words Essay on Things That Make Me Happy

Happiness is a feeling that everyone cherishes. It is like a warm bubble of joy that fills our hearts and makes us smile. What makes me happy might be different from what makes you happy because happiness is personal. For me, there are many things that bring happiness. Some of these things are simple, while others are more complex.

Spending Time with Family and Friends

One of the main things that make me happy is spending time with my family and friends. Whether we are laughing, talking, or just being together, these moments bring me great joy. I feel loved and cared for when I am with them. They understand me and accept me just as I am. This feeling of love and acceptance is a big source of happiness for me.

Another thing that makes me happy is reading books. Books take me to different worlds and let me live many lives. They teach me new things and help me see the world from different points of view. When I read a good book, I feel a kind of joy that is hard to describe. It’s like finding a new friend who understands you and shares your thoughts.

Playing Sports

Playing sports is another thing that makes me happy. When I play sports, I feel alive and full of energy. I love the feeling of running fast, the thrill of scoring a goal, and the joy of being part of a team. Sports help me stay fit and healthy, which also makes me feel good about myself.

Helping others also brings me happiness. When I help someone, I feel a sense of satisfaction that is very rewarding. It makes me feel good to know that I have made a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small. This feeling of making a positive impact gives me a deep sense of happiness.

Nature’s Beauty

Finally, the beauty of nature makes me happy. I love watching the sunrise, the birds flying in the sky, and the flowers blooming in the garden. These simple things fill me with a sense of wonder and joy. They remind me of the beauty in the world and make me feel happy and peaceful.

In conclusion, many things make me happy. Spending time with family and friends, reading books, playing sports, helping others, and enjoying nature’s beauty are just a few of them. These things bring me joy and make my life more meaningful. They remind me of the good things in life and help me stay positive and happy. Everyone has different things that make them happy. The key is to find what makes you happy and make time for it in your life. After all, happiness is not something we find, but something we create.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Things I Would Like To Change About Myself
• Essay on Things I Love About Myself
• Essay on Things I Like To Do

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

• Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
• Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
• Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
• Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

• Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
• Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
• Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
• Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

• Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
• Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

• Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
• Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
• Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
• Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
• Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
• Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
• Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
• Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

• Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
• Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
• Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

• Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
• Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
• Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

• Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
• Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
• Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
• Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

• Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
• Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

• Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
• Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
• Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

• Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
• Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
• Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

• A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
• A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
• Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

• Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
• The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
• The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
• The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
• The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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