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What Is Your Gender Identity?

Tell us how you’ve come to understand your gender identity, and what it means to you.

what is my gender identity essay

By Katherine Schulten

Students in U.S. high schools can get free digital access to The New York Times until Sept. 1, 2021.

Note to teachers and students: To prepare to answer these questions, you might visit our recent lesson plan on transgender athletes that began with the definitions of some relevant terms as well as a “temperature check” exercise with questions about talking about gender in general.

Have you ever considered your gender identity? How comfortable do you feel talking about it? What does that identity mean to you? How do you express it?

Do you, like a growing number of teenagers, identify with a nontraditional gender label, or do you know someone who does? A 2019 article about nonbinary teenage fashion explained:

The word “nonbinary” became something people asked the internet about around 2014, making a steady upward climb to present day. Gender identity has become an international conversation, especially among teenagers. In 2017, a University of California, Los Angeles study found that 27 percent (796,000) of California youth between the ages of 12-17 believed they were seen by others as gender nonconforming. More teenagers overall are identifying with nontraditional gender labels, according to a March 2018 study published in the journal Pediatrics . Some progressive synagogues and Jewish communities are holding nonbinary mitzvahs . Nonbinary teenagers are choosing non-gendered for driver’s licenses . “When we’re looking at trends that we might see in the community of youth who are identifying as nonbinary, what we really are seeing is a community of people who are just accepting the diversity of gender expression,” said Jeremy Wernick, a clinical assistant professor in the department of child and adolescent psychiatry at N.Y.U. Langone. Mr. Wernick’s work focuses on gender-expansive children and adolescents. “Yes, nonbinary kiddos are sort of leading the way in pushing the boundaries of those binary stereotypes,” Mr. Wernick said. “But what they’re really doing is modeling for other young people and adults the reality that gender expression can inevitably have an impact on the rest of the world if things are accepted and celebrated.”

This week, the Times Opinion section published an essay about gender exploration during the pandemic, in which a transgender-nonbinary writer, Alex Marzano-Lesnevich writer, asks, “ How Do I Define My Gender if No One Is Watching Me? ”:

When the world went into lockdown five months after I started taking testosterone, I thought it would be easier not to see people for a while. Maybe they wouldn’t hear my voice go scratchy or see up close the hormonal acne splattered across my face. Alone in my apartment, I imagined that all my difficulties in being seen and recognized as transgender-nonbinary would evaporate. No one would gender me except myself; my pronouns would be right there in the text box on my Zoom screen. So I was surprised by how much my gender instead seemed to almost evaporate. No longer on the alert for how to signal a restaurant’s waitstaff that neither “he” nor “she” applied to me, or for whether colleagues and neighbors would use the right language — devoid of anyone to signal my gender to — I felt, suddenly, amorphous and undefined. It was as though when I had swapped my Oxford shoes and neckties for fuzzy slippers and soft sweatpants, I, too, had lost my sharply tailored definition. After I podded with two trans friends, the only people I saw from closer than six feet were also nonbinary, neither men nor women. Among us, not only the once ubiquitous binary, but also any gender expectations, had vanished. Where did my own gender reside, then, if not in sending signals of difference? My friends and I had long joked, “Gender is a social construct!” every time one of us needed shoring up after a messy encounter with the expectations of the gender-conforming heterosexual world. But without that world, we now added a rueful punchline: “Too bad there’s no more ‘social’!”

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Pride Month

A guide to gender identity terms.

Laurel Wamsley at NPR headquarters in Washington, D.C., November 7, 2018. (photo by Allison Shelley)

Laurel Wamsley

what is my gender identity essay

"Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It's how someone refers to you in conversation," says Mary Emily O'Hara, a communications officer at GLAAD. "And when you're speaking to people, it's a really simple way to affirm their identity." Kaz Fantone for NPR hide caption

"Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It's how someone refers to you in conversation," says Mary Emily O'Hara, a communications officer at GLAAD. "And when you're speaking to people, it's a really simple way to affirm their identity."

Issues of equality and acceptance of transgender and nonbinary people — along with challenges to their rights — have become a major topic in the headlines. These issues can involve words and ideas and identities that are new to some.

That's why we've put together a glossary of terms relating to gender identity. Our goal is to help people communicate accurately and respectfully with one another.

Proper use of gender identity terms, including pronouns, is a crucial way to signal courtesy and acceptance. Alex Schmider , associate director of transgender representation at GLAAD, compares using someone's correct pronouns to pronouncing their name correctly – "a way of respecting them and referring to them in a way that's consistent and true to who they are."

Glossary of gender identity terms

This guide was created with help from GLAAD . We also referenced resources from the National Center for Transgender Equality , the Trans Journalists Association , NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists , Human Rights Campaign , InterAct and the American Psychological Association . This guide is not exhaustive, and is Western and U.S.-centric. Other cultures may use different labels and have other conceptions of gender.

One thing to note: Language changes. Some of the terms now in common usage are different from those used in the past to describe similar ideas, identities and experiences. Some people may continue to use terms that are less commonly used now to describe themselves, and some people may use different terms entirely. What's important is recognizing and respecting people as individuals.

Jump to a term: Sex, gender , gender identity , gender expression , cisgender , transgender , nonbinary , agender , gender-expansive , gender transition , gender dysphoria , sexual orientation , intersex

Jump to Pronouns : questions and answers

Sex refers to a person's biological status and is typically assigned at birth, usually on the basis of external anatomy. Sex is typically categorized as male, female or intersex.

Gender is often defined as a social construct of norms, behaviors and roles that varies between societies and over time. Gender is often categorized as male, female or nonbinary.

Gender identity is one's own internal sense of self and their gender, whether that is man, woman, neither or both. Unlike gender expression, gender identity is not outwardly visible to others.

For most people, gender identity aligns with the sex assigned at birth, the American Psychological Association notes. For transgender people, gender identity differs in varying degrees from the sex assigned at birth.

Gender expression is how a person presents gender outwardly, through behavior, clothing, voice or other perceived characteristics. Society identifies these cues as masculine or feminine, although what is considered masculine or feminine changes over time and varies by culture.

Cisgender, or simply cis , is an adjective that describes a person whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth.

Transgender, or simply trans, is an adjective used to describe someone whose gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth. A transgender man, for example, is someone who was listed as female at birth but whose gender identity is male.

Cisgender and transgender have their origins in Latin-derived prefixes of "cis" and "trans" — cis, meaning "on this side of" and trans, meaning "across from" or "on the other side of." Both adjectives are used to describe experiences of someone's gender identity.

Nonbinary is a term that can be used by people who do not describe themselves or their genders as fitting into the categories of man or woman. A range of terms are used to refer to these experiences; nonbinary and genderqueer are among the terms that are sometimes used.

Agender is an adjective that can describe a person who does not identify as any gender.

Gender-expansive is an adjective that can describe someone with a more flexible gender identity than might be associated with a typical gender binary.

Gender transition is a process a person may take to bring themselves and/or their bodies into alignment with their gender identity. It's not just one step. Transitioning can include any, none or all of the following: telling one's friends, family and co-workers; changing one's name and pronouns; updating legal documents; medical interventions such as hormone therapy; or surgical intervention, often called gender confirmation surgery.

Gender dysphoria refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one's sex assigned at birth and one's gender identity. Not all trans people experience dysphoria, and those who do may experience it at varying levels of intensity.

Gender dysphoria is a diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Some argue that such a diagnosis inappropriately pathologizes gender incongruence, while others contend that a diagnosis makes it easier for transgender people to access necessary medical treatment.

Sexual orientation refers to the enduring physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction to members of the same and/or other genders, including lesbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientations.

People don't need to have had specific sexual experiences to know their own sexual orientation. They need not have had any sexual experience at all. They need not be in a relationship, dating or partnered with anyone for their sexual orientation to be validated. For example, if a bisexual woman is partnered with a man, that does not mean she is not still bisexual.

Sexual orientation is separate from gender identity. As GLAAD notes , "Transgender people may be straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual or queer. For example, a person who transitions from male to female and is attracted solely to men would typically identify as a straight woman. A person who transitions from female to male and is attracted solely to men would typically identify as a gay man."

Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe people with differences in reproductive anatomy, chromosomes or hormones that don't fit typical definitions of male and female.

Intersex can refer to a number of natural variations, some of them laid out by InterAct . Being intersex is not the same as being nonbinary or transgender, which are terms typically related to gender identity.

Nonbinary Photographer Documents Gender Dysphoria Through A Queer Lens

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Nonbinary photographer documents gender dysphoria through a queer lens, pronouns: questions and answers.

What is the role of pronouns in acknowledging someone's gender identity?

Everyone has pronouns that are used when referring to them – and getting those pronouns right is not exclusively a transgender issue.

"Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It's how someone refers to you in conversation," says Mary Emily O'Hara , a communications officer at GLAAD. "And when you're speaking to people, it's a really simple way to affirm their identity."

"So, for example, using the correct pronouns for trans and nonbinary youth is a way to let them know that you see them, you affirm them, you accept them and to let them know that they're loved during a time when they're really being targeted by so many discriminatory anti-trans state laws and policies," O'Hara says.

"It's really just about letting someone know that you accept their identity. And it's as simple as that."

what is my gender identity essay

Getting the words right is about respect and accuracy, says Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, deputy executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. Kaz Fantone for NPR hide caption

Getting the words right is about respect and accuracy, says Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, deputy executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.

What's the right way to find out a person's pronouns?

Start by giving your own – for example, "My pronouns are she/her."

"If I was introducing myself to someone, I would say, 'I'm Rodrigo. I use him pronouns. What about you?' " says Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen , deputy executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.

O'Hara says, "It may feel awkward at first, but eventually it just becomes another one of those get-to-know-you questions."

Should people be asking everyone their pronouns? Or does it depend on the setting?

Knowing each other's pronouns helps you be sure you have accurate information about another person.

How a person appears in terms of gender expression "doesn't indicate anything about what their gender identity is," GLAAD's Schmider says. By sharing pronouns, "you're going to get to know someone a little better."

And while it can be awkward at first, it can quickly become routine.

Heng-Lehtinen notes that the practice of stating one's pronouns at the bottom of an email or during introductions at a meeting can also relieve some headaches for people whose first names are less common or gender ambiguous.

"Sometimes Americans look at a name and are like, 'I have no idea if I'm supposed to say he or she for this name' — not because the person's trans, but just because the name is of a culture that you don't recognize and you genuinely do not know. So having the pronouns listed saves everyone the headache," Heng-Lehtinen says. "It can be really, really quick once you make a habit of it. And I think it saves a lot of embarrassment for everybody."

Might some people be uncomfortable sharing their pronouns in a public setting?

Schmider says for cisgender people, sharing their pronouns is generally pretty easy – so long as they recognize that they have pronouns and know what they are. For others, it could be more difficult to share their pronouns in places where they don't know people.

But there are still benefits in sharing pronouns, he says. "It's an indication that they understand that gender expression does not equal gender identity, that you're not judging people just based on the way they look and making assumptions about their gender beyond what you actually know about them."

How is "they" used as a singular pronoun?

"They" is already commonly used as a singular pronoun when we are talking about someone, and we don't know who they are, O'Hara notes. Using they/them pronouns for someone you do know simply represents "just a little bit of a switch."

"You're just asking someone to not act as if they don't know you, but to remove gendered language from their vocabulary when they're talking about you," O'Hara says.

"I identify as nonbinary myself and I appear feminine. People often assume that my pronouns are she/her. So they will use those. And I'll just gently correct them and say, hey, you know what, my pronouns are they/them just FYI, for future reference or something like that," they say.

O'Hara says their family and friends still struggle with getting the pronouns right — and sometimes O'Hara struggles to remember others' pronouns, too.

"In my community, in the queer community, with a lot of trans and nonbinary people, we all frequently remind each other or remind ourselves. It's a sort of constant mindfulness where you are always catching up a little bit," they say.

"You might know someone for 10 years, and then they let you know their pronouns have changed. It's going to take you a little while to adjust, and that's fine. It's OK to make those mistakes and correct yourself, and it's OK to gently correct someone else."

What if I make a mistake and misgender someone, or use the wrong words?

Simply apologize and move on.

"I think it's perfectly natural to not know the right words to use at first. We're only human. It takes any of us some time to get to know a new concept," Heng-Lehtinen says. "The important thing is to just be interested in continuing to learn. So if you mess up some language, you just say, 'Oh, I'm so sorry,' correct yourself and move forward. No need to make it any more complicated than that. Doing that really simple gesture of apologizing quickly and moving on shows the other person that you care. And that makes a really big difference."

Why are pronouns typically given in the format "she/her" or "they/them" rather than just "she" or "they"?

The different iterations reflect that pronouns change based on how they're used in a sentence. And the "he/him" format is actually shorter than the previously common "he/him/his" format.

"People used to say all three and then it got down to two," Heng-Lehtinen laughs. He says staff at his organization was recently wondering if the custom will eventually shorten to just one pronoun. "There's no real rule about it. It's absolutely just been habit," he says.

Amid Wave Of Anti-Trans Bills, Trans Reporters Say 'Telling Our Own Stories' Is Vital

Amid Wave Of Anti-Trans Bills, Trans Reporters Say 'Telling Our Own Stories' Is Vital

But he notes a benefit of using he/him and she/her: He and she rhyme. "If somebody just says he or she, I could very easily mishear that and then still get it wrong."

What does it mean if a person uses the pronouns "he/they" or "she/they"?

"That means that the person uses both pronouns, and you can alternate between those when referring to them. So either pronoun would be fine — and ideally mix it up, use both. It just means that they use both pronouns that they're listing," Heng-Lehtinen says.

Schmider says it depends on the person: "For some people, they don't mind those pronouns being interchanged for them. And for some people, they are using one specific pronoun in one context and another set of pronouns in another, dependent on maybe safety or comfortability."

The best approach, Schmider says, is to listen to how people refer to themselves.

Why might someone's name be different than what's listed on their ID?

Heng-Lehtinen notes that there's a perception when a person comes out as transgender, they change their name and that's that. But the reality is a lot more complicated and expensive when it comes to updating your name on government documents.

"It is not the same process as changing your last name when you get married. There is bizarrely a separate set of rules for when you are changing your name in marriage versus changing your name for any other reason. And it's more difficult in the latter," he says.

"When you're transgender, you might not be able to update all of your government IDs, even though you want to," he says. "I've been out for over a decade. I still have not been able to update all of my documents because the policies are so onerous. I've been able to update my driver's license, Social Security card and passport, but I cannot update my birth certificate."

"Just because a transgender person doesn't have their authentic name on their ID doesn't mean it's not the name that they really use every day," he advises. "So just be mindful to refer to people by the name they really use regardless of their driver's license."

NPR's Danielle Nett contributed to this report.

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Why It Took Me Two Decades to Figure Out That I'm Nonbinary

three figures  silhouetted over a white background to symbolize nonbinary gender identity

Welcome to Doing It , a column where sex educator Dr. Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions. This month, in a special edition to celebrate Pride Month 2023, Dr. Srinivasan recalls their journey coming out as nonbinary.

Genderqueer is a word I have only known for three or so years. Prior to discovering it, I had only known two words with regard to gender: “woman” and “man.” Like many, my conceptions of gender fit neatly into the binary system laid out for us since youth.

Growing up, my dad would graciously use the word “tomboy” to describe me. As it were, the way I dressed, wore my hair , and sat was apparently boy-ish — however, I was a girl (or, at least, that is the gender I was assigned at birth ), and “girls don’t sit with their legs open.” I thought it was merely my parents who held these beliefs until a teacher in school informed me that I was in possession of the “attitude of a boy”...whatever that means.

writer Varuna Srinivasan as a young child wearing their hair in pigtails with bows and a whiteandfloral frilly dress

When I was around 13 years old, puberty took my body and brain by storm, which was difficult emotionally. Growing breasts, armpit hair, and pubic hair ? God, I was not ready for the throbbing clitoris either. As all this was going on, I found solace in loose t-shirts. They provided a sort of comfort, a protective shield while I navigated the changes to my body. But this comfort was soon subjected to scrutiny from others. I was asked by a loved one, for instance, to wear a dress to their party because they thought that I “looked like a boy” with all the t-shirts I’d been wearing. Suddenly, these sentiments started to rub off on me, and even I started to see myself as too much of a tomboy.

To overcompensate for supposedly being too boy-ish, I turned the knob to max on my "feminine energy" in an effort to be taken seriously; I began to lean into this side as far as I could. Long hair? Check. Frilly bra? Check. Cute, sickly sweet dresses? Check, check, check .

I began to do all manner of things I associated with conventional femininity. I started listening to Backstreet Boys. I flirted with boys, which seemed to work in my favor: People wanted to hang out with me and rumors of my potential suitors flew around. I liked the attention. My plan to become “womanly,” to eradicate the tomboyishness I now rejected, was working. But this was a double-edged sword.

writer Varuna Srinivasan in a white buttondown sitting in a blue chair

At that time, I possessed a flawed understanding of femininity — one based on the misconception that being “feminine” meant prioritizing men, competing with my women friends, and always fitting into societal standards of what is beautiful while avoiding anything deemed unacceptable. I performed this presentation outwardly and around others, never considering how I felt on the inside or how I actually wanted to look. And, truth be told, this performance of female vulnerability did not make me feel very good. It simply meant putting others’ needs above my own, feeling like I could never say “no,” and, essentially, eliminating or ignoring all of my boundaries.

Resentments started to build up inside of me. As such, I swung back in the other direction once more.

At 23, I cut off my hair that flowed down to my mid-back in a bid to shed all the negative energy I had blamed on my femininity — again not realizing that it was not my femininity that was to blame, but the manner in which I felt obligated to engage with it.

Over the next two years, I became determined to take a more “masculine” approach towards life. Men don’t cry. Men don’t have time for frivolous relationships. Men don’t need friends, and neither did I!

As you may have gathered, I was overcorrecting again — and I thought that it was working for me, for a time, particularly as I found success in my career. But the loneliness started to creep in. I was in a place in my life where vulnerability was something to avoid at all costs. As anyone would say, this was not really serving me either.

Everything soon came to a head. The toxic ideologies about femininity and masculinity that I kept taking on no longer served me.

portrait of writer and sex educator Varuna Srinivasan standing at the bottom of a staircase in a black patterned sari

At 26, something wonderful happened: I met William, a soft-spoken person with a gentle manner who I would go on to fall in love with and marry. He would describe himself as “scrawny” — a word my dad used in an effort to remind me of my gender and the need to find someone more “macho.” We were, and still are, able to have conversations about attraction and gender in ways that don’t leave me suffocating for a sense of identity.

In looking at myself through a new set of eyes, one that loved me for exactly who I am and not who I feel obligated to be, I realized just how multidimensional my gender could be. Nothing was defined, nor did it have to be. And this perspective was not limited to gender expression, it could be applied to so much more. I could be gender expansive .

While scrolling on Facebook during the pandemic, I came across that word: genderqueer. I had never really felt cisgender, even before I knew what “cisgender” meant, for whatever reason, I felt like too much of a fraud to call myself trans. But this word, genderqueer, was nice. It felt like a big enough label to fit all the feelings I felt about myself. In understanding that my identity was on a spectrum, I felt liberated.

Soon, I changed my pronouns from she/her to she/they . The former was bestowed upon me at birth. The addition of “they” was thrilling. It gave me a sense of bodily autonomy, one I had never known.

Through the inner work I was doing, I started to recognize the strength I had when I went through those periods in the past and to feel compassion toward my younger self — and all that I learned from those times in my life. When I was going through my “feminine” phase during my teens, I learned to embrace my sexual energy; during my “masculine” period, I learned how much I like having a bob.

writer Varuna Srinivasan in a selfie to accompany their essay on nonbinary identity

Today, I feel like I am a beautiful mix of all my experiences. But I owe a lot of it to the people around me and to the safe places that have allowed me to come into my own — something that every LGBTQIA+ person deserves, yet many queer kids and adults have no access to. According to the ACLU, there are over 400 anti-trans legislations in place across the country. These bills target all areas of a child’s holistic development, from banning LGBTQIA+ sex education in schools and preventing trans kids from playing sports on the team of their choice to accessing gender-affirming healthcare in any form. As a grateful member of this community, I want to use my platform right now to urge you to learn more at TransLash Media , an organization that empowers and educates those wishing to get involved and take action in advocacy. I also want to urge you to donate to organizations uplifting LGBTQIA+ lives, like the National LGBTQ Task Force, which has fought for queer people's rights since 1973.

Finding my true gender identity has been a deeply rewarding experience, and having access to a range of support throughout all those years of exploration , was incredibly affirming for me. As we move into uncharted territory in the U.S., regardless of whether you are someone from the community or an ally, we must fight to protect our transgender and nonbinary siblings so they can thrive on their own journeys of self-discovery.

Read more stories about LGBTQ+ people and beauty:

  • There Are No Rules to What Makes a “Gender-Affirming” Haircut
  • Why's It So Hard for Top Surgery Patients to Find Good Aftercare?
  • 21 LGBTQ-Owned Beauty Brands We Love All Year Round

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Gender Identity & Expression

While many people express themselves in ways that are aligned with social norms related to sex and gender, others may choose expressions that are different than what people may expect of their gender identity.

Expressing your true gender identity is critical to living as your authentic self. Learn more about the importance of accepting and affirming your identity, and how to support those who may be exploring theirs.

Frequently Asked Questions

Gender expression often refers to how a person experiences and expresses various aspects of the male and female gender binary. Gender expression may also encompass characteristics that may be described as:

  • Gender-neutral
  • Androgynous
  • Gender-conforming
  • Gender-nonconforming 

There are many different gender identities, including (but not limited to) male, female, trans, non-binary, agender, omnigender, and pangender.

Gender dysphoria occurs when a person feels that their biological sex inaccurately represents their true being.

Nonbinary  gender identity is just one term used to describe individuals who may experience a gender identity that is neither exclusively woman nor man or is in between or beyond both genders.

People who are cisgender identify with the gender traditionally associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. 

The gender binary is the problematic notion that there are only two genders, and all individuals are either a woman or a man, and are expected to align with the sex assigned at birth.

Transitioning refers to the series of processes some transgender people may undergo to present themselves in a way that aligns with their gender identity—which can involve socially transitioning (through dressing a certain way) and/or medically transitioning (through hormones, surgery, or both).

Explore Gender Identity & Expression

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Understanding Gender Identity

Gender vs. sex, confirming and affirming our gender identity, gender expression, gender pronouns, gender identity and sexuality are entwined, but not the same, you're not alone.

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Gender can either be something you never think about or something that consumes you and seeps into everything you do. How is gender identity so prominent in some of our lives while others take it for granted? How can one word be so polarizing and personal? To get some of these answers, we need to start at the beginning—your beginning. 

When most people are born, they’re given a label of either male or female based on their genitals. That label is then used to define both their sex and gender. 

Medical professionals typically assign sex based on the appearance of a person’s genitals because they are most visible. The full picture of your sex, though, can’t be seen without more exploration. Sex is a combination of your anatomy, reproductive organs, and chromosomes. It’s not uncommon for sex to be more than simply male or female.

Intersex people are those whose internal organs, chromosomes, or genitals do not fit neatly into male or female boxes. Some people know they are intersex growing up, and others find out later in life.

Gender identity is different from sex or gender assigned at birth. Gender identity is how we see ourselves in terms of being male, female, neither, both, or something in between. Despite being given an assigned gender, we may realize the label just doesn’t fit. 

As we grow up and get to know ourselves, each of us tends to develop a personal sense of our gender identity. Research shows that most of us have a strong sense of our gender by the time we are three or four years old. When your gender identity matches your gender assigned at birth, you may refer to yourself as cisgender. When your identity does not match your gender assigned at birth, you may identify as transgender.

Most people—whether they identify as transgender or cisgender—fall into a binary gender category (male or female), while others are somewhere in between (nonbinary) or don’t feel connected to either gender (agender). 

Whether or not you are ready to talk to someone about your relationship with your gender identity, know that you deserve to be seen as your authentic gender. Coming out as a gender different than the one you were assigned at birth can be scary, but you are among many amazing people who also identify as transgender or nonbinary. You can—and will—find the resources and people you need to live a full and happy life. 

Gender identity is our internal concept of our gender, but gender expression is how we present our gender identity through our appearance—including what we wear, how we style our hair, and if and how we wear makeup. It can also be in the names and pronouns we choose for ourselves. How we express our gender may or may not conform to what our families, friends, or society associates with our sex or gender identity, but we all have the right to express our gender in ways that feel authentic and give us joy.

Pronouns are the words we use for ourselves—and would like others to use—when referring to us. Some examples of pronouns include:

  • She/her/hers
  • They/them/theirs
  • Xe/xem/xeirs

Sometimes it feels right to use more than one pronoun (“she/they,” for example) which means either pronoun set feels OK. You may also choose to use multiple pronouns for a period of time to see what feels best. There can be a lot of exploration involved in figuring out what gender means to you, and sometimes it takes hearing other people refer to you with certain pronouns to know what hits right. 

Your gender identity isn’t the same as your sexual orientation. Gender identity is about who you are, and sexual orientation is about attraction and who you might want to form relationships with. 

Both gender identity and sexual orientation are spectrums and can change over time. It’s important to understand that your gender identity doesn’t dictate your sexual orientation. People of any gender can have any sexual orientation.

It can feel intimidating to explore something as complicated as your gender, but it can also be exciting and affirming to find the identity that feels right to you, even if it takes a little time. There is no “right” age to explore and understand your gender identity. Some people understand their identities early in life, and others come to their identities later.

If you or someone you know is struggling with challenges related to gender identity—or struggling to get others in their life to accept their identity—it’s important to reach out for support. Try contacting The Trevor Project , a leading national organization providing crisis-intervention services for LGBTQIA+ youth, by texting START to 678-678 or calling 1-866-488-7386.

If you or someone you love needs help right now:

  • Text or call 988 or use the chat function at 988lifeline.org .
  • Text HOME to 741-741 for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor any time of day.
  • If this is a medical emergency or there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.

Related resources

Tips for stressful election conversations, mental health tips for high school athletes, what i wish i knew before coming out, search resource center.

If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text, call, or chat  988 for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7. 

You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.

If this is a medical emergency or if there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.

Jonathan D. Raskin, Ph.D.

Understanding Gender, Sex, and Gender Identity

It's more important than ever to use this terminology correctly..

Posted February 27, 2021 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

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Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene hung a sign outside her Capitol office door that said “There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE. ‘Trust the Science!’” There are many reasons to question hanging such a sign, but given that Rep. Taylor Greene invoked science in making her assertion, I thought it might be helpful to clarify by citing some actual science. Put simply, from a scientific standpoint, Rep. Taylor Greene’s statement is patently wrong. It perpetuates a common error by conflating gender with sex . Allow me to explain how psychologists scientifically operationalize these terms.

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According to the American Psychological Association (APA, 2012), sex is rooted in biology. A person’s sex is determined using observable biological criteria such as sex chromosomes, gonads, internal reproductive organs, and external genitalia (APA, 2012). Most people are classified as being either biologically male or female, although the term intersex is reserved for those with atypical combinations of biological features (APA, 2012).

Gender is related to but distinctly different from sex; it is rooted in culture, not biology. The APA (2012) defines gender as “the attitudes, feelings, and behaviors that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex” (p. 11). Gender conformity occurs when people abide by culturally-derived gender roles (APA, 2012). Resisting gender roles (i.e., gender nonconformity ) can have significant social consequences—pro and con, depending on circumstances.

Gender identity refers to how one understands and experiences one’s own gender. It involves a person’s psychological sense of being male, female, or neither (APA, 2012). Those who identify as transgender feel that their gender identity doesn’t match their biological sex or the gender they were assigned at birth; in some cases they don’t feel they fit into into either the male or female gender categories (APA, 2012; Moleiro & Pinto, 2015). How people live out their gender identities in everyday life (in terms of how they dress, behave, and express themselves) constitutes their gender expression (APA, 2012; Drescher, 2014).

“Male” and “female” are the most common gender identities in Western culture; they form a dualistic way of thinking about gender that often informs the identity options that people feel are available to them (Prentice & Carranza, 2002). Anyone, regardless of biological sex, can closely adhere to culturally-constructed notions of “maleness” or “femaleness” by dressing, talking, and taking interest in activities stereotypically associated with traditional male or female gender identities. However, many people think “outside the box” when it comes to gender, constructing identities for themselves that move beyond the male-female binary. For examples, explore lists of famous “gender benders” from Oxygen , Vogue , More , and The Cut (not to mention Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head , whose evolving gender identities made headlines this week).

Whether society approves of these identities or not, the science on whether there are more than two genders is clear; there are as many possible gender identities as there are people psychologically forming identities. Rep. Taylor Greene’s insistence that there are just two genders merely reflects Western culture’s longstanding tradition of only recognizing “male” and “female” gender identities as “normal.” However, if we are to “trust the science” (as Rep. Taylor Greene’s recommends), then the first thing we need to do is stop mixing up biological sex and gender identity. The former may be constrained by biology, but the latter is only constrained by our imaginations.

American Psychological Association. (2012). Guidelines for psychological practice with lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients. American Psychologist , 67 (1), 10-42. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024659

Drescher, J. (2014). Treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender patients. In R. E. Hales, S. C. Yudofsky, & L. W. Roberts (Eds.), The American Psychiatric Publishing textbook of psychiatry (6th ed., pp. 1293-1318). American Psychiatric Publishing.

Moleiro, C., & Pinto, N. (2015). Sexual orientation and gender identity: Review of concepts, controversies and their relation to psychopathology classification systems. Frontiers in Psychology , 6 .

Prentice, D. A., & Carranza, E. (2002). What women should be, shouldn't be, are allowed to be, and don't have to be: The contents of prescriptive gender stereotypes. Psychology of Women Quarterly , 26 (4), 269-281. https://doi.org/10.1111/1471-6402.t01-1-00066

Jonathan D. Raskin, Ph.D.

Jonathan D. Raskin, Ph.D. , is a professor of psychology and counselor education at the State University of New York at New Paltz.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Sociology of Gender — Gender Identity

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Essays on Gender Identity

In an era where conversations about gender identity have moved to the forefront of social discourse, understanding the complexities of how individuals experience and express their gender has never been more important. At GradesFixer, we offer a rich collection of essay samples on gender identity that delve into the nuanced exploration of this vital aspect of human experience. These essays serve as a critical resource for students, educators, and anyone keen on deepening their understanding of gender identity.

A Multifaceted Exploration through Essays

Our collection spans a broad spectrum of topics related to gender identity, including but not limited to the distinction between gender and sex, the role of society in shaping gender norms , and the experiences of transgender and non-binary individuals. By presenting a variety of perspectives, we aim to illuminate the diverse ways in which people understand, negotiate, and articulate their gender identities.

Support for Academic and Personal Inquiry

For students tasked with writing a gender identity essay, our samples provide an invaluable foundation of ideas, analytical frameworks, and narrative approaches. These essays exemplify how to critically and empathetically engage with stories of gender exploration and the impact of societal norms on individual identity formation. Drawing from our collection, students can craft essays that are both informative and reflective, contributing meaningful insights to the ongoing conversation on gender identity.

Encouraging Inclusive and Informed Dialogue

Beyond serving as an academic resource, our gender identity essay samples play a role in fostering a more inclusive and informed dialogue on gender issues. They encourage readers to question assumptions, recognize the diversity of gender experiences, and appreciate the importance of supporting all individuals in their journey toward self-understanding and acceptance.

Join Our Engaged Community of Learners and Thinkers

At GradesFixer, we're committed to promoting a deeper understanding of gender identity through scholarly exploration and personal reflection. We invite you to explore our collection of gender identity essay samples, draw inspiration and knowledge for your own writing, and join the critical discussions that shape our perceptions of gender in the modern world.

The discourse on gender identity is dynamic and continually evolving, reflecting the complexities of human identity in a changing world. With our curated collection of essay samples, you're well-equipped to engage with this discourse, offering fresh perspectives and enriching the academic and social understanding of gender identity. Explore our collection today to support your research, writing, and exploration of gender identity.

The Issue of Social Stratification and Gender

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The Deconstruction of Opportunity: Danticat’s Narrative of Disempowerment in Breath, Eyes, Memory

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what is my gender identity essay

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How to Figure Out Your Gender Identity

Last Updated: June 21, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Inge Hansen, PsyD . Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise. There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 61,048 times.

It takes time to understand yourself, so it's natural to be unsure about their gender identity. People generally know their gender identity from a young age and find it difficult to think of themselves in any other way. Those who think of themselves as other genders, on the other hand, may have difficulty understanding their gender, which can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. This article will help you to understand some of the ways you can become more in touch with your true gender identity and better understand yourself. [1] X Research source

Understanding Gender

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  • Cisgender – identifying as the biological sex assigned at birth
  • Transgender – identifying as the opposite sex assigned from birth
  • Non-Binary – not identifying with either male or female.
  • Bigender – identifying with both male and female.
  • Gender Fluid – may identify with a gender that changes over time or depending on the situation.
  • A male before age 18 is a boy , while those ages 18 and older are men .
  • A female before age 18 is a girl , while those ages 18 and older are women .
  • Intersex is a diverse term for a small number of people who have chromosomes, hormones, and/or genitalia outside of the male and female binary. It is not a third sex as intersex variations are different and they cannot be classified together.

Step 2 Understand gender identity.

  • Cisgender , or simply cis, is a term that refers to a person whose gender identity corresponds to the sex assigned to them at birth.
  • Transgender , or trans, is an umbrella term that refers to someone whose gender identity differs from the gender assigned at birth. (Being intersex is not the same as being nonbinary or transgender.)
  • Agender is an adjective that can be used to describe someone who does not identify as any gender.
  • Nonbinary/genderqueer is a term that can be used by people who do not identify as male or female or who do not fit into the categories of man or woman. A variety of terms are used to describe these experiences; nonbinary and genderqueer are two examples.
  • Genderfluid is a term used to describe individuals whose gender identity (the gender with which they most identify) is not fixed. It can change over time or from one day to the next. Fluid is a type of gender identity or expression, not a sexual orientation.
  • Demiboy/Demigirl/Demigender are gender identity terms meaning having a partial, but not complete, attachment to a specific gender identity or to the concept of gender (for example, a boy feeling a partial connection to being a girl, but still identifying as a boy). This is considered a nonbinary gender.
  • Bigender is a term for someone who identifies as man and woman, or two genders.
  • Trigender is a label used for somebody who identifies with three genders.
  • Pangender refers to a multigender non-binary gender identity referring to a vast and diverse multiplicity of genders in the same individual that can extend infinitely, always within the person's own culture and life experience, and may or may not include unknown genders.

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  • Gender expression varies from person to person. For example, some men love weightlifting, some men love nail polish, and some love both. None of these things make them more or less male.

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wikiHow Quiz: Am I Bisexual?

How would you feel if a person of the same gender asked for your number.

I’d be thrilled.

I’d be nervous. My stomach would probably do a little flip.

I’d be curious about getting to know them better.

I’d be flattered, but I’d let them know I’m not interested.

Understanding Yourself and Experimenting

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  • How do you feel about your birth sex?
  • What gender do you wish people saw you as?
  • How would you like to express your gender?
  • What pronouns do you feel most comfortable using?
  • When you imagine your ideal future, what gender are you?

Aligned Gender Flags.png

  • It's okay if you don't want to wear a label.

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  • Remember; gender expression does not always correspond to gender identity.
  • To deal with dysphoria and feel better about your body, you may want to bind your chest , tuck and tape , pack , or stuff your bra .

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  • GenderSpectrum.org
  • The Trevor Project Resource Center
  • Trans Lifeline

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  • She/her/hers
  • They/them/theirs
  • A combination of pronouns, such as "he/they" or "ze/she/they"
  • Neopronouns, such as "ze/hir/hirs" or "xe/xem/xyrs"
  • All pronouns, used respectfully.
  • You might prefer no pronouns, and request that others only use your name to address you.

Taking Care of Yourself and Finding Support

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  • Exercise regularly.
  • Eat nutritious foods.
  • Get enough good quality sleep.
  • Do what you enjoy.

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  • Gender dysphoria can be an excellent opportunity to pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of the things you appreciate about your body. Even something as simple as telling yourself, "I like my feet because they carry me where I want to go," can make you feel a little better.
  • Changing the way you think or dress can help you with dysphoria. Read How to Deal with Your Period As a Transgender or Nonbinary Person for tips on handling your period as a trans person, or visit How to Cope with Not Being Able to Transition for tips.
  • Reader Poll: We asked 940 wikiHow readers who've experienced gender dysphoria, and 55% of them agreed that the best way to cope is by distracting yourself with hobbies or activities you enjoy. [Take Poll]

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  • If you need crisis support or you are considering suicide, text/call the Trevor Project hotline.
  • When you are LGBTQ+, it is important to have a therapist who is LGBTQ+ affirming, and in some cases, an LGBTQ+ specialist. Often, one can find therapists who are LGBTQ+ affirmative by checking groups (national groups, such as Gaylesta or Division 44, as well as local groups) focused on LGBTQ+ therapy.

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  • Usually, people struggle with family and societal expectations when they try to establish their gender identity.
  • It is necessary to find support, acceptance, and love when you are going through the coming out process. [10] X Research source
  • The process can take many years because it takes a long time to explore your identity. [11] X Research source

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Navigate Your Gender Transition with this Expert Series

1 - Adjust to Being a Boy when You Really Want to Be a Girl

Expert Q&A

Inge Hansen, PsyD

  • Be kind to yourself while discovering your gender identity. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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what is my gender identity essay

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about gender identity, check out our in-depth interview with Inge Hansen, PsyD .

  • ↑ https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/gender-identity
  • ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/996319297/gender-identity-pronouns-expression-guide-lgbtq
  • ↑ https://www.verywellmind.com/gender-dysphoria-5085081
  • ↑ https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/category/gender-identity/
  • ↑ https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria#
  • ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/trans-teenager/
  • ↑ https://queersforacause.com/lgbtq%2B-tips/f/gender-dysphoria-5-self-care-tips-to-reduce-dysphoria-symptoms
  • ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation/sexual-orientation/whats-coming-out
  • https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/gender-identity
  • https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity
  • https://www.verywellmind.com/gender-dysphoria-5085081
  • https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/trans-teenager/
  • https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-figure-out-gender-identity
  • https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/category/gender-identity/
  • https://queersforacause.com/lgbtq%2B-tips/f/gender-dysphoria-5-self-care-tips-to-reduce-dysphoria-symptoms
  • https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki

About This Article

Inge Hansen, PsyD

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The difference between sex and gender explained

gender identity

Our editors will review what you’ve submitted and determine whether to revise the article.

  • Cleveland Clinic - Understanding Gender Identity
  • Verywell Mind - What is Gender Identity?
  • Social Science LibreTexts - Understanding Sex and Gender
  • Healthline - What’s the Difference Between Sex and Gender?

gender identity , an individual’s self-conception as a man or woman or as a boy or girl or as some combination of man/boy and woman/girl or as someone fluctuating between man/boy and woman/girl or as someone outside those categories altogether. It is distinguished from actual biological sex—i.e., male or female. For most persons, gender identity and biological sex correspond in the conventional way. Some individuals, however, experience little or no connection between sex and gender; among transgender persons, for example, biological sexual characteristics are distinct and unambiguous, but the affected person identifies with the gender conventionally associated with the opposite sex.

The difference between sex and gender explained

The nature and development of gender identity have been studied and disputed by psychologists, philosophers, and social activists since the late 20th century. So-called essentialists hold that gender identity is fixed at birth by genetic or other biological factors. Social constructivists argue that gender identity, or the manner in which gender identity is expressed, is “socially constructed”—i.e., determined by social and cultural influences. Social constructivism of the latter type is not necessarily incompatible with essentialism, because it is possible for a supposedly innate gender identity to be expressed in different ways in different cultures . Finally, a variation of social constructivism known as performatism holds that gender identity is constituted , rather than expressed, by the continuous “performance” of gendered behaviour (actions and speech). According to the originator of this view, the American philosopher Judith Butler , gender “is performatively constituted by the very ‘expressions’ that are said to be its results.”

baby girl with toy bunny rabbit.

Basic gender identity (whether innate or constructed) is generally established in children by the age of three and is extremely difficult to modify thereafter. In cases where biological sex was ambiguous at birth and errors in sexing were made, it has been almost impossible to reestablish a conventional gender identity later in childhood or adolescence. Furthermore, a secondary gender identity can be developed over the core identity, as sex-associated behaviours may be adopted later in life; heterosexual or homosexual orientations also develop later.

Aspects of gender identity develop by means of parental example, social reinforcement, and language . Parents teach what they perceive as sex-appropriate behaviour to their children from an early age, and this behaviour is reinforced as the children grow older and enter a wider social world. As children acquire language, they also learn very early the distinction between “he” and “she” and understand which pertain to themselves.

Why is Pride Month in June?

Since the late 20th century the recognition that many people have gender identities that are not conventionally associated with their biological sex and that some people have nonbinary gender identities (i.e., neither or both man/boy and woman/girl) have spurred discussions of a " gender continuum " and broadened support for the general use in English and other languages of gender-neutral pronouns ( they , them , and their ) in place of masculine or feminine pronouns ( he , she , him , her , his , hers ). Such usage, it is argued, enables speakers and writers to avoid attributing a false gender identity to a person based on perceived biological sex. The adoption of gender-neutral pronouns also has been advocated by those who object to the use of generic masculine pronouns and other masculine-gendered words to refer to people in general, as in “No one in his right mind would believe that” and “Man is a political animal.”

Home / Essay Samples / Sociology / Identity / Gender Identity

Gender Identity Essay Examples

Understanding sexual orientation and gender identity in society.

Often sex and gender are interchangeably used and to distinguish the meaning of the terms is not as simple as it seems. It is predominant to understand the distinction between these two words to point out that they are not synonymous. This is sexual orientation...

LGBT Acceptance and Tolerance Around the World

The people of the lgbtq community have been fighting to be accepted around the world since the mid-late 1800s, and even today we are still struggling in this area. As of spring 2019, there are still places around the world that have a less than...

Self and Gender: Theories and Concepts Explored

To start with this is gendered self essay in which I will reveal this topic. So, this gender experience can be explained through Risman’s gender as a social structure theory. At the individual level, I experienced the process involved in the development of gender, where...

Gender and Society: the Difference Between Sex and Gender

This is gender and society essay that will address the question: “Drawing on the academic theory and literature, examine the differences between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’.' This short academic essay aims to explore the difference between sex and gender using a variety of academic theories. Concepts...

The Concept of Social Location

This is "The social location" essay the author discusses the definition of this concept and what hides after it. Social location designates where a person stands in their community, it evolves over time and could either negatively or positively impact in terms of change. Each...

Gender Stereotypes in Toys: Its Influence on Child's Development

Gender discourse and inclusivity are becoming more mainstream than ever. As Mattel introduces their first line of gender neutral dolls (Bellware, 2019), it would seem to be an indicator of the progress we have made so far. However, the pink and blue aisles in majority...

Socially Constructed Displays of Gender

When my niece was mistaken for a boy, my sister ensured that my niece wore headbands every day. She has never been mistaken since then. How can a fashion accessory help people determine the sex of the baby? When a baby is dressed in pink,...

Gender Identity and Intersex Debate in Modern Society

In our generation today, there can be some common confusion on gender and sexual orientation. It was once believed that gender was determined by the genitals you were born with, however, in this day of age there is much more behind it. Although we are...

Representation of Women’s Identity

The medium of cinema helps express the various walks of life through various eras. The transformation of women from saris to mini skirts showcases the change with the times. It articulates the ethnical and cultural values of the society. The upcoming years are making a...

Gender Representation in Animated Disney Princesses Movies

Gender is a term or a tag which is constructed by the society rather than it being biologically determined as per the sex of that person. Males and females are expected to act or behave in certain ways. So males are usually expected to be...

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