how to motivate your kid to do homework

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Does Your Child Refuse To Do Homework? Teachers Share 6 Helpful Tips for Parents

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Do you remember the years when it seemed like homework was a part of your daily routine? For many of us with kids, diving into homework for the first time may bring up some old feelings from our own school days. I used to love doing schoolwork at home up until middle school when having to complete homework for six classes seemed overwhelming. Besides that, I was interested in everything that impacted pre-teens , like gossip and crushes. That seemed more important than keeping up with homework.

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So it should come as no surprise when our own kids have a hard time with homework and act like they’d prefer to do anything else. Perhaps, they struggle with focusing at home or understanding a subject. Not to mention some subjects are taught differently today, so it can also be tough for parents to help with homework.

It may feel easier for them to protest than to admit why they dislike homework. This can feel frustrating for you as the parent. Whether their protests look like throwing temper tantrums or simply refusing to do the work, we talked to teachers Aimee Scott (third grade) and Krista Luedtke (sixth grade) and they shared six tips that’ll help you get your kids interested in homework. 

How to Motivate Your Child To Do Homework

Communicate with your kid’s teacher.

Scott and Luedtke agreed it’s important to discuss any concerns you notice with your child’s teacher. “The first thing to do is talk to your child’s teacher and let them know your concerns,” said Scott. If they’re refusing to complete homework, Luedtke said, “It may be that your child is getting plenty of class time to complete their work but may not be using it wisely.” If that’s the case, Scott said sometimes teachers would give out alternate assignments if that might help inspire a kiddo to complete homework. Or some teachers offer partial or full credit for showing the work, even if the answer isn’t correct.

Talk positively about school

It’s normal for kids to struggle with different school subjects. In fact, you may have struggled with understanding things like history or math yourself. However, Luedtke suggested that you avoid making negative comments about your experience in order to relate to your child. “This can instantly tell your child that school is negative or that they too are bad at math,” she said. If you are frustrated or crying over your kid’s homework , Luedtke suggested looking it up yourself—either through school resources or a Google search—or reaching out to the teacher.

Source: Canva

Create a fun learning space at home for homework

If you haven’t tried this already, Luedtke suggested creating a space at home that allows your kid to focus on homework. “ Whether it is a desk in their bedroom or simply a dedicated space at the kitchen counter, be sure your child has a hard surface to work on, bright light, and minimal distractions,” she said. You know your kid more than anyone. So, you may have to identify and remove their distractions before creating a learning space for them to do their homework.

To minimize the chance your kid will associate this space with the work they’ve been uninterested in completing, you  can add interesting elements to it. “By adding cute posters, a fun lamp, readily available school supplies or a comfy chair, the space be ‘fun,'” said Luedtke. She personally loves to search for Pinterest ideas that are centered around creating a positive, safe space for kids to do homework.

As always, having a routine for your kid helps them develop positive habits as well. By incorporating homework into the usual after-school routine, kids come to expect it and might be more willing to get their assignments done before moving on to something else. 

download this free, printable chart to keep kids' after-school tasks on track

Consider soft background music

I know you’re probably thinking, “I thought minimal distractions is important!” It is, but if your child isn’t easily distracted by background noise, you may find that playing soft music is beneficial for them. Luedtke said, “As a classroom teacher, I’ve noticed that some students really thrive when they have background music playing. Not only can this help with focus, but it can put them in a good mood.”

One way to look at this is to think about how you respond to music. Maybe you’re the mom who listens to music while cleaning your home. Not only do you enjoy hearing your favorite tunes, but it may also help you feel more productive. If this is true for you, then it may also apply to your child.

Utilize visual tools that show your child’s progress

You may find that your child responds well to visual aids that show their daily or weekly homework progress. For example, “If you want your child to read for 20 minutes each night, you can put a timer on your phone or the TV,” said Luedtke. However, she cautioned, “Sometimes this can distract children as well, so use your best judgment.” Should your child become distracted by the timer on your phone or television, Luedtke suggested you try utilizing the visual tools on Classroomscreen.com . There are different resources available that you may find work better for you and your child.

Another tool you can utilize is a printable homework template that allows you and your child to see their homework progress in real-time. “This can be kept on your fridge, and your child can mark off each day they complete their work. Visual trackers are powerful for children,” said Luedtke. Scott also agreed and said, “They can add a sticker or a stamp to the chart.”

4 animals available

a homework tracker can help them visualize their progress each day

Create small goals and celebrate your kid’s completion of homework

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for—the completion of your child’s homework. Scott said, “I suggest parents try setting small goals. For example, break assignments up into sections and reward them with a piece of candy.”

Alternatively, Luedtke said, “Celebrate your child by going out for pizza on Fridays or letting them have a friend over. Kids really, really like to work towards a goal—especially if there is a reward at the end.”

If your child gets easily frustrated with their homework or doesn’t want to complete it, helping them can be tough. If you ask yourself daily, “Does it get easier?” know you’re not alone. In those moments, try to look at it from your child’s perspective. They’re constantly experiencing information overload, just like us. This can cause them to avoid anything that feels similar at home.

Will it require a lot of patience and consistency to help your kid navigate completing their homework? Of course. But hopefully, some of these teacher-approved tips can help make it just a little bit less painful.

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Strategies to make homework go more smoothly.

Routines and incentive systems to help kids succeed

Writer: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP

Clinical Expert: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP

Here is the best guide to helping kids do homework successfully that we’ve seen, published by the National Association of School Psychologists on their website, NASPonline.org . Our thanks to NASP for sharing it with us.

There are two key strategies parents can draw on to reduce homework hassles. The first is to establish clear routines around homework, including when and where homework gets done and setting up daily schedules for homework. The second is to build in rewards or incentives to use with children for whom “good grades” is not a sufficient reward for doing homework.

Homework Routines

Tasks are easiest to accomplish when tied to specific routines. By establishing daily routines for homework completion, you will not only make homework go more smoothly, but you will also be fostering a sense of order your child can apply to later life, including college and work.

Step 1. Find a location in the house where homework will be done. The right location will depend on your child and the culture of your family. Some children do best at a desk in their bedroom. It is a quiet location, away from the hubbub of family noise. Other children become too distracted by the things they keep in their bedroom and do better at a place removed from those distractions, like the dining room table. Some children need to work by themselves. Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location.

Step 2. Set up a homework center. Once you and your child have identified a location, fix it up as a home office/homework center. Make sure there is a clear workspace large enough to set out all the materials necessary for completing assignments. Outfit the homework center with the kinds of supplies your child is most likely to need, such as pencils, pens, colored markers, rulers, scissors, a dictionary and thesaurus, graph paper, construction paper, glue and cellophane tape, lined paper, a calculator, spell checker, and, depending on the age and needs of your child, a computer or laptop. If the homework center is a place that will be used for other things (such as the dining room table), then your child can keep the supplies in a portable crate or bin. If possible, the homework center should include a bulletin board that can hold a monthly calendar on which your child can keep track of longterm assignments. Allowing children some leeway in decorating the homework center can help them feel at home there, but you should be careful that it does not become too cluttered with distracting materials.

Step 3. Establish a homework time. Your child should get in the habit of doing homework at the same time every day. The time may vary depending on the individual child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in a school mode (i.e., right after school when there is still some momentum left from getting through the day). In general, it may be best to get homework done either before dinner or as early in the evening as the child can tolerate. The later it gets, the more tired the child becomes and the more slowly the homework gets done.

Step 4. Establish a daily homework schedule. In general, at least into middle school, the homework session should begin with your sitting down with your child and drawing up a homework schedule. You should review all the assignments and make sure your child understands them and has all the necessary materials. Ask your child to estimate how long it will take to complete each assignment. Then ask when each assignment will get started. If your child needs help with any assignment , then this should be determined at the beginning so that the start times can take into account parent availability. A Daily Homework Planner is included at the end of this handout and contains a place for identifying when breaks may be taken and what rewards may be earned.

Incentive Systems

Many children who are not motivated by the enjoyment of doing homework are motivated by the high grade they hope to earn as a result of doing a quality job. Thus, the grade is an incentive, motivating the child to do homework with care and in a timely manner. For children who are not motivated by grades, parents will need to look for other rewards to help them get through their nightly chores. Incentive systems fall into two categories: simple and elaborate.

Simple incentive systems. The simplest incentive system is reminding the child of a fun activity to do when homework is done. It may be a favorite television show, a chance to spend some time with a video or computer game, talking on the telephone or instant messaging, or playing a game with a parent. This system of withholding fun things until the drudgery is over is sometimes called Grandma’s Law because grandmothers often use it quite effectively (“First take out the trash, then you can have chocolate chip cookies.”). Having something to look forward to can be a powerful incentive to get the hard work done. When parents remind children of this as they sit down at their desks they may be able to spark the engine that drives the child to stick with the work until it is done.

Elaborate incentive systems. These involve more planning and more work on the part of parents but in some cases are necessary to address more significant homework problems. More complex incentives systems might include a structure for earning points that could be used to “purchase” privileges or rewards or a system that provides greater reward for accomplishing more difficult homework tasks. These systems work best when parents and children together develop them. Giving children input gives them a sense of control and ownership, making the system more likely to succeed. We have found that children are generally realistic in setting goals and deciding on rewards and penalties when they are involved in the decision-making process.

Building in breaks. These are good for the child who cannot quite make it to the end without a small reward en route. When creating the daily homework schedule, it may be useful with these children to identify when they will take their breaks. Some children prefer to take breaks at specific time intervals (every 15 minutes), while others do better when the breaks occur after they finish an activity. If you use this approach, you should discuss with your child how long the breaks will last and what will be done during the breaks (get a snack, call a friend, play one level on a video game). The Daily Homework Planner includes sections where breaks and end-of-homework rewards can be identified.

Building in choice. This can be an effective strategy for parents to use with children who resist homework. Choice can be incorporated into both the order in which the child agrees to complete assignments and the schedule they will follow to get the work done. Building in choice not only helps motivate children but can also reduce power struggles between parents and children.

Developing Incentive Systems

Step 1. Describe the problem behaviors. Parents and children decide which behaviors are causing problems at homework time. For some children putting homework off to the last minute is the problem; for others, it is forgetting materials or neglecting to write down assignments. Still others rush through their work and make careless mistakes, while others dawdle over assignments, taking hours to complete what should take only a few minutes. It is important to be as specific as possible when describing the problem behaviors. The problem behavior should be described as behaviors that can be seen or heard; for instance, complains about h omework or rushes through homework, making many mistakes are better descriptors than has a bad attitude or is lazy.

Step 2. Set a goal. Usually the goal relates directly to the problem behavior. For instance, if not writing down assignments is the problem, the goal might be: “Joe will write down his assignments in his assignment book for every class.”

Step 3. Decide on possible rewards and penalties. Homework incentive systems work best when children have a menu of rewards to choose from, since no single reward will be attractive for long. We recommend a point system in which points can be earned for the goal behaviors and traded in for the reward the child wants to earn. The bigger the reward, the more points the child will need to earn it. The menu should include both larger, more expensive rewards that may take a week or a month to earn and smaller, inexpensive rewards that can be earned daily. It may also be necessary to build penalties into the system. This is usually the loss of a privilege (such as the chance to watch a favorite TV show or the chance to talk on the telephone to a friend).

Once the system is up and running, and if you find your child is earning more penalties than rewards, then the program needs to be revised so that your child can be more successful. Usually when this kind of system fails, we think of it as a design failure rather than the failure of the child to respond to rewards. It may be a good idea if you are having difficulty designing a system that works to consult a specialist, such as a school psychologist or counselor, for assistance.

Step 4. Write a homework contract. The contract should say exactly what the child agrees to do and exactly what the parents’ roles and responsibilities will be. When the contract is in place, it should reduce some of the tension parents and kids often experience around homework. For instance, if part of the contract is that the child will earn a point for not complaining about homework, then if the child does complain, this should not be cause for a battle between parent and child: the child simply does not earn that point. Parents should also be sure to praise their children for following the contract. It will be important for parents to agree to a contract they can live with; that is, avoiding penalties they are either unable or unwilling to impose (e.g., if both parents work and are not at home, they cannot monitor whether a child is beginning homework right after school, so an alternative contract may need to be written).

We have found that it is a rare incentive system that works the first time. Parents should expect to try it out and redesign it to work the kinks out. Eventually, once the child is used to doing the behaviors specified in the contract, the contract can be rewritten to work on another problem behavior. Your child over time may be willing to drop the use of an incentive system altogether. This is often a long-term goal, however, and you should be ready to write a new contract if your child slips back to bad habits once a system is dropped.

Click here to download the homework planner and incentive sheet .

Frequently Asked Questions

To help homework go more smoothly, e stablish a routine that includes a time and place where it will be done, a planner that lists each assignment, scheduled breaks when some of the work is done, and a reward system for kids who are not motivated by good grades alone.  

Set a good homework routine following these steps: Find a location in the house where homework will be done. Set up a homework center stocked with needed materials . Establish a homework time. Use a daily homework planner so that your child has everything in writing.  

One tool that can make homework go more smoothly i s a Daily Homework Planner , which lists each assignment, how long it should take to complete, and what rewards may be earned for completing each assignment.    

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How to Motivate your Child to do Homework: 5 Simple Ideas that work

For a lot of parents, the scariest thing would probably be their beloved school going child coming to their room with a bunch of undone home work sheets the night before their submission date. The second most scary thing would possibly be a ghost or something. After all, what could cause an adrenaline rush better? If your otherwise naughty child gives you puppy-dog eyes and comes with a giant smile plastered on their face, you don’t need any amusement park ride for an adventure; you know you’re in for an all-nighter or a hurried homework completion session.

If you’re a parent whose child often turns their back on homework and comes to you at the eleventh hour and barely manages to complete it, you’re not alone. Whether one likes to do it or not, homework constitutes an important part of one’s academic life. If your child is not the super rare, highly punctual, organised and academically high-spirited sort, you would know about the qualms associated with homework and the conflict it begets in families. So, how does one really inspire one’s child to get to successfully do their homework? To address the elephant in the room, we must first take a look at the ideas kids with different temperaments and personalities have towards homework and why they don’t find it worth completing.

A few of the reasons why children aren’t motivated to do their homework are:

• They are usual procrastinators who don’t want to know why it is given and how they would be benefited by it in the long term.
• They simply forget that they have been given homework.
• They are finding the space at home to be not so conducive for doing their homework and also think they lack the necessary technological support to aid them.
• They are overly attached to gadgets or playing video games because of which they don’t devote as much time to studying and completing the home work.
• They are more inclined towards activities outside of school, such as karate, yoga, music and painting classes or have a demanding schedule because of those pursuits.

The truth is, there is no ideal way of luring or tricking kids into doing their homework with temporary rewards like increased screen-time, gifting their expensively favourite video games or toys, or even the promise of buying them a swanky new bicycle. You most probably will see them going back to square one and ditching their homework as and when they’ve exhausted your captivating rewards.

As a concerned parent, the best thing that one can do is identify what’s causing kids to make faces when it comes down to home work. This is especially true in the context of maths homework. Given the fact that mathematics needs to be studied almost every day for students to be able to learn the sheer variety of concepts that it has, practice and timely homework are a must.

By dealing with the crux of kids’ aversion towards homework, parents can come up with a solution that permanently fixes the problem and motivates them to do their homework not just once, but consistently, without any crutches or attachment to rewards.

Tips to Motivate Your Child to do Homework

The following remedies might prove to be of great help if you’re a parent wanting to sweeten your child’s bitter relationship with homework.

Explaining to them the rationale behind regularly doing homework and its upside:

Most kids would think of homework as an unnecessary and painstaking activity. Parents can change this perception if they successfully show their kids that homework is meant for their greater good. Putting things on hold and lazing around is a natural human tendency, but becomes a source of tension when one keeps on postponing tasks. When kids persistently solve their homework maths problems every day, they’re hardwiring whatever they learn through doing their homework into their brain. By doing this, students won’t feel nearly as helpless or stressed on the day before their maths exam as they would otherwise, by finding themselves toppling with the weight of pending math homework. After all, it’s better to do the math little by little and then take the exam and have a fruitful aftermath!

Setting daily reminders for checking homework:

Let us admit. The best of us forgets to do things. While some kids may be masters of mischief and have an otherwise strong memory when it comes down to their monkey business, they may display a newly weakened memory when asked about their homework. It almost is like magic, and a great spell that can work to counteract this magic is reminders. Whether they are in the form of sticky notes pasted at spots where kids can see them or digital reminders found in your smartphones, you can use them to remind children about their homework. Even if your child is one that devotedly does his or her homework and genuinely forgets about it once in a while, reminders can and do help. If they are successful able to finish their homework, they’re eligible for a hearty praise that would further motivate them to do it in the future as well by giving them a sense of accomplishment.

Creating a tranquil atmosphere at home for kids to be able to study and approach you very easily:

A great deal of parents are completely aware of and keep a track of their child’s activities and progress in school. Sailing through a lot of personal, familial, professional and social obligations can be a task for anyone, but a responsible parent must pay heed to their little ones’ learning needs through it all. Let your kids relax for a while once they come back home from school. If you nag them and ask them to take to doing their homework while they’re still reeling from their schoolwork, it is going to backfire. Let them take a break and then you could talk to them about their homework.

Familial conflicts and halfhearted parenthood can create an environment in the house that is nowhere conducive to a child’s mental health, and could distract them from studying. A lot of mental calculation goes into doing maths homework, and parents must ensure a calm atmosphere in the house. Maybe your child is a shy one and maybe he or she needs more attention. Since kids won’t always tell you or talk to you about what’s bothering them or what they need, you need to pay attention to the little things such as the presence of ample of stationery items and geometric tools and calculators. Parents must take time out of their schedule and sit with their children and help them in their homework. They can and should try and explain to them basic concepts in the subject, if they ever need help at all. This would give two benefits. One would be of a bettered bonding between the parents and children and the other would be an increased interest in doing homework. ( Also Read: Understanding the Teenage Brain: What’s going on inside? .)

Limit their screen time to a healthy quantity:

The homes of a lot of people on the face of the earth today are laden with gadgets of different sorts. While it is understandable that kids in the present day revel and deserve to revel in entertainment that gaming consoles or smartphones and tablets provide, they must be taught well to exploit the functions of those devices that can enrich them in educational knowledge as well.

If kids continue to have unrestrained access to such devices, they will most likely be immersed in them irredeemably. This will most likely prevent them from doing their homework. Hence, parents must ensure that kids have a healthy amount of screen time and know when to intervene.

Even if a child is fond of playing outdoors with friends and takes little interest in studies, he/ she must be explained how physical activity is indeed a great thing, but one must devote their time to home work and studying as well. Knowing when to intervene in their kids’ activities and knowing how to do it softly yet triumphantly is one skill that the parents must conjure.

Create a well turned out timetable for managing kids’ extracurricular to create a balance between their school life and the life beyond school:

Parents almost always feel proud when their children take to learning things. It is commendable when one’s child excels at school, and parents find their hearts swelling with pride when he or she blooms even in the activities that they undertake while they’re not studying. One can learn to paint, to play the guitar or the piano, to learn to ride a horse, learn singing or even learn martial arts and a parent would only be proud. It does become a problem though when kids find themselves stretched in between and entangled in two things. To prevent kids from having a tiring schedule and to enable them to do their homework calmly, a carefully designed timetable will only help. Parents can sit with their kids and address the issue of time management. By making a time table, kids can devote the correct amount of time to whatever they are pursuing, while ensuring their homework and studying doesn’t take a hit.

Often, the strife created by incomplete homework pushes kids to be on the brink of tears. It also frustrates parents and at times leads to a face-off between the two parties. Realising that a child can be motivated to do their homework with steady and continual efforts is imperative for the parents. As a parent, if you feel your child is genuinely overwhelmed with homework even after having a shot at it, you know it’s time to talk to the teacher and see if the quantity of homework that he or she is giving in the school is the pink of their mental and physical health or is plainly excessive.

A robust quantity of homework is essential for your child, and he or she can be encouraged to do it with channeled efforts of yours sooner or later. Hold their hand whenever they need it, and you probably wouldn’t be too far from marveling at their academic transformation with regular homework.

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The Homework Struggle: How to Encourage Kids to Do Homework

• September 21, 2017

Most parents have been there—the nightly homework struggle.

Students rarely look forward to completing their homework assignments after the last school bell has rung for the day. However, homework is part of being a student—and one that has an impact on future academic performance. This makes it important to figure out how to encourage kids to do their homework without a nightly quarrel.

The Importance of Homework

Homework supplements the education that children are getting in the classroom. Its role is to increase comprehension and give students the chance to study, practice, and understand the material. This type of “outside-the-classroom” thinking can help increase the development of positive study habits, improve cognition and memory, and encourage time management.

So, why the resistance?

Students often have trouble seeing the value in homework. After all, they just spent an entire day in school, so why should they sacrifice their valuable free time to do more work? Other factors, from attention and motivation issues to poor time management and organizational skills can also lead to students having trouble completing their homework.

How to motivate kids to do homework

Students who don’t do their homework or continually battle with their parents about it often experience higher levels of stress. This stress can lead to a lack of motivation both inside and outside of the classroom, causing them to fall behind. It’s important for parents to take an active role in making sure students complete their homework so their performance doesn’t suffer.

How can you make homework time a smoother process? Rather than making your child do homework, focus on how you can make homework more a more enjoyable experience for your child. Don’t worry—it’s easier than it sounds!

Follow these tips on how encourage good homework habits in your child.

Create structure

Creating a schedule your child can follow makes it easier to get him or her to sit down and complete homework assignments. Set a time and create a special study space for homework to be completed, making it part of the child’s nightly routine.

Give kids a break after school

Don’t force your child to do homework as soon as he or she gets home. Let him or her have some time after school to give his or her mind a break before starting homework. This break can help improve motivation and focus when it is time for your child to do his or her homework.

Provide motivation

Show encouragement and appreciation of your child’s hard work when he or she has completed his or her homework. Something as small as a high five or words of praise can boost your child’s motivation. You can also offer small rewards, like a trip to the store or a special treat.

Lead by example

While you child does his or her homework, don’t engage in other preferred activities, such as watching TV. Read a book, do some research, or scratch a chore off your to-do list.

Talk about the benefits

Rather than yelling, have a calm discussion with your child about why homework is important. Fighting with your child will increase stress and frustration, leaving him or her unable and unwilling to focus on homework.

No More Homework Arguments!

By encouraging—rather than forcing—your child to complete his or her homework, you can help your child become a more organized, proactive student. This will save you a lot of arguments down the line, letting your child use his or her energy to reach his or her potential rather than avoiding homework.

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How to Get Your Kids to Do Their Homework

Last Updated: May 10, 2023 References

This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Latorre . Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). This article has been viewed 466,128 times.

Parents around the world would love the magic formula to encourage kids to do their homework. Alas, it's not as simple as waving a wand, but there are some methods for encouraging your kids to develop and stick to a regular homework routine. For some parents, effective encouragement will also be about changing your own approach to homework enforcement. Don't worry, it's not hard, it's just about taking a moment to work it through. Create a homework space and schedule, establish clear expectations, rewards, and consequences, and approach homework positively.

Creating a Homework Space and Schedule

• For example, if your kids do their homework at the dinner table, unpack the box to give them access to their supplies when it’s time to do homework. Pack up the box and move it off the table when they’re finished.

• Allow your kids to have a say in creating the schedule. If they feel like their opinions have been heard and considered, they’re more likely to stick to the plan.
• Agree on homework-free times, such as Friday nights or one weekend day, and allow them to plan how they use this free time.

Establishing Expectations, Rewards, and Consequences

• Occasional rewards for a special project done really well can be a great boost but regular material rewards are best avoided.
• When your child does their homework, tell them that you are really proud of them for being organized, timely, proactive, etc. It is important to define the exact reason why you are proud so that they know what to keep up.

• Keep your message simple, reminding your kids what you have agreed upon together when discussing how they'd approach homework and expressing both disappointment and a hope to see things return to normal the next day.

• For example, if your child forgets their homework or books at school, don’t spend hours tracking down a maintenance worker to let you into the building so you can retrieve their forgotten items. If they can find a way to get them, great, and if not, they’ll have to suffer the consequences.

• Naturally, if you have a child with learning or other disabilities, you may need to adjust this hands-off approach. Don't be afraid to seek support from professional people skilled in your child's particular disability; they may be able to provide you with additional strategies.

Approaching Homework Positively

• You should still keep a positive attitude toward homework. Don’t agree with your kid when they say, “Homework sucks. I wish I didn’t have to do it.” Instead, reply with something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but once you finish your homework you can invite a friend over.”

• For example, if your child wants to be a marine biologist, tell them that they’ll need good grades in school to get into a college where they can earn a degree in biology, zoology, or ecology.
• For example, tell your would-be actor that they won’t be able to memorize their lines if they’re not a stellar reader. Encourage them to read and memorize parts of their textbook for practice.

Altering Your Own Involvement

Expert Q&A

• When the teacher asks that you have a part in your child's homework, do it! Working with your child's teacher will show your child that authority figures at school and home or on the same team. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Encourage professional presentation and neatness. If they're producing messy homework, try to catch them in the process and encourage a neater effort. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Keep up to date with your child's school life. Talk with their teacher regularly to ensure you know the purpose of your child's assignments and understand the rules in class. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://sparksofgenius.wordpress.com/2007/05/14/train-your-kids-to-do-homework-without-arguing/
• ↑ http://sparksofgenius.wordpress.com/2007/05/14/train-your-kids-to-do-homework-without-arguing/
• ↑ https://fosteringperspectives.org/fp_vol1no1/articles_vol1no1/ignoring_effective_way.htm
• ↑ https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-homework-battle-how-to-get-children-to-do-homework/
• ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100819173846.htm
• ↑ http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/homework/part_pg2.html#2

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / Laziness & Motivation

Motivating the Unmotivated Child

By james lehman, msw.

Over the years, many parents have asked me why their kids aren’t motivated and what they can do about it. How can you get your child to be more motivated? To do better in school? To even go to school?

The important thing to remember is this: your child is motivated. They’re just motivated to resist you and others when they do not want to do something. The key is to learn how to turn their negative motivation into a positive one.

Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance

When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist . The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. The motivation is to retain power.

When kids feel powerless, they try to feel powerful by withholding. A child or teenager who feels very powerless will stay in bed, not go to school, avoid homework, sit on the couch, and withhold overall involvement because it gives her a sense of being in control.

To the parent, the behavior looks completely out of control. But the child sees it as the only way to have control over what’s going on around him.

You’ll see it when you ask your child a question and he doesn’t answer, but you know he heard you. What’s that all about? That’s a child withholding an answer to feel powerful. When he says, “I don’t have to answer you if I don’t want to,” you see it as a lack of motivation. He sees it as a way to win control over you.

All Kids are Motivated by Something

I want to be clear about this point: everyone is motivated. The question is, motivated to do what? If a child looks like he’s not motivated, you have to look at what he’s accomplishing and assume that this is what he’s motivated to do.

So part of the solution is getting him to be motivated to do something else. To assume that the child is unmotivated is an ineffective way of looking at it. He is motivated. He’s simply motivated to do nothing. In this case, doing nothing means resisting and holding back to exercise control over you.

Kids Resist Because They Lack Problem-Solving Skills

The child who uses resistance as a form of control lacks both social skills and problem-solving skills.

They don’t have the social skills to know how to talk to other people, how to be friendly, and how to feel comfortable with themselves. Also, they don’t have the problem-solving skills to figure out what people want from them, how to deal with other people’s behavior, and how to meet expectations and demands.

These are basic skills we all have to learn in order to be successful as adults.

If continually resisting is how a child tries to solve problems, then parents will have a hard time until they teach the child how to solve problems appropriately.

The first step in teaching kids problem-solving skills is to understand that these kids are not helpless victims. Instead, they’re simply trying to solve problems in an ineffective manner.

Don’t Argue or Fight With Your Child About Motivation

Very often these kids are motivated by the power struggle. They find different ways to have that struggle with their parents. The job of the parents, therefore, is to find other ways for the child to solve the problem that’s causing the power struggle.

But if parents don’t have those other ways then the power struggle continues with no end in sight.

If you’re fighting day after day with a kid who won’t get out of bed, you’re never going to solve that problem. Because even if he gets out of bed then he won’t brush his teeth. And even if he brushes his teeth then he won’t comb his hair. Or he won’t wear clean clothes, or he won’t do his homework.

Understand that when you yell at your child for lack of motivation, you’re giving their resisting behavior power. So don’t yell. Don’t argue. Don’t give their resisting behavior power.

I understand that parents get frustrated—that’s normal. And sometimes you will lose your calm, even when you know better.

The point I want to make here is that yelling and fighting won’t solve the problem. If you’re yelling and fighting over these issues, you’re giving him more power in the struggle, and you don’t want to do that. Here’s what to do instead.

Be Clear, Calm, and Give Consequences for Your Child’s Behavior

Make the situation clear for the child. Use “I” words. Say the following:

“I want you to get up out of bed and get ready for school.”

“I want you to do your homework now.”

Then leave the bedroom. If the kid doesn’t do it, then there should be consequences. There should be accountability.

If your child says, “I don’t care about the consequences,” ignore her. She will tell you she doesn’t care just as a way to feel in control. Or, she may not care now, but as consequences get applied consistently, she will eventually see compliance as a better alternative to consequences.

Therefore, give consequences. And don’t worry if the kid doesn’t like it. You are not your child’s friend, you’re their parent.

Related content: Unmotivated Child? 6 Ways to Get Your Child Going

By the way, if your child doesn’t get out of bed, he shouldn’t be doing anything else. He shouldn’t get to play video games. He shouldn’t spend four hours in front of the TV. If he’s too sick to go to school, he shouldn’t be going out of the house. These rules should be set and enforced consistently.

Give Effective Consequences

Understanding what is and what is not an effective consequence is critical. The right consequences actually motivate your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be a successful adult.

Know that effective consequences are not punishments. Indeed, I say all the time that you can’t punish your child into behaving better.

All parents should read my article on how to give kids consequences that work . And take a look at my sample video from The Complete Guide to Consequences .

Let Your Child Experience Natural Consequences

I would always tell parents in my office that you have to have the courage to let her experience the consequences of her behavior. It takes a lot of courage for a parent to step back and say:

“Okay, you’re not going to do your homework, and you’re going to get the grades that reflect that.”

But in these cases, it can help to let the child experience the natural consequences of resistance. You don’t let the kid watch TV. You say:

“Homework time is from six to eight. And if you don’t want to do your homework during that time, that’s fine. But you can’t go on the computer, you can’t play games, and you can’t watch TV. If you choose not to do your homework, that’s your choice. And if you fail, that’s your choice too.”

Remember, natural consequences are an important part of life. That’s why we have speeding tickets. A speeding ticket is a natural consequence. If you go too fast, the policeman stops you and gives you a ticket. He doesn’t follow you home to make sure you don’t speed anymore. He lets you go. It’s your job to stop and take responsibility. If you don’t, you’re going to get another ticket fifteen minutes later.

Natural consequences help people take responsibility, and they can be used to help kids take responsibility for things like going to school, participating in class, and doing homework.

Don’t Forget to Use Rewards

Along with the plan to let her experience the natural consequences of her decisions, build in rewards for success if she does make the right decision.

For example, if my son failed a test, there was no punishment. But if he passed, there was a reward. It was very simple. We rewarded A’s and B’s. We didn’t take anything away for C, we just didn’t reward it.

So my son eventually strived to have A’s all the time. So with kids who resist, it’s important to have a rewards system as well as a consequence system.

Be Patient and Persistent

Calmly and consistently using effective consequences is your fastest and best way to get your child motivated. Just be patient and persistent as consequences do their job and your child begins to learn better problem-solving skills. And know that the vast majority of kids come around and get motivated once they are held accountable in a meaningful way.

Related content: Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says “I Don’t Care”

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About James Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation® , The Complete Guide to Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ , from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

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Loved this article

After seeking help to motivate my teenage daughter

I made a behavior chart with the three most important goals

Also listed was the consequences and privileges if they were reached on a weekly basis

Then I said nothing her life my house rules

She turned herself around

But she always knew I loved her

I wish it was this easy. It's not that simple I've read what you wrote here and I don't think you have teenager's because it's eazy as you say

Sandra Sometimes the lack of motivation is a sign of something deeper - fear and shame felt because of failing grades - and so the child enters denial and resistance mode.

Emma Same here. I hate that the school requires the use of the laptop. It is nothing but a distraction and you can't take it away because they need it for school. The closest we've come to a solution is parental control software.

Tracy I have the same situation with my son. Ignores homework or any other responsibilities, bedroom is a disaster. Can't babysit all day, I am a single mom and I work full time. He knows how much this upsets me yet he does nothing to fix it. I take xbox, pc More power cords away, NOTHING motivates this kid.

Dad.com The issue with parents right now is that they have the same issue of all assuming their child’s goal is to fight them and be rebellious. A lot of kids who are struggling right now would love to pass and work hard and get good grades, but there are many More factors such as depression, low self-esteem and confidence, and the reaction, the relationship, and the treatment from the parents that greatly effect a child's motivation and perspective. Stop using punishment as a way to help your kid, use positive re-enforcement, and let then understand that what they’re going through isn’t their fault, they didn’t choose to be depressed, stressed, or have little to no motivation. Try and be helpful and realize that they are the ones carrying more emotional baggage then you can imagine.

Hyporeal Agree with some other comments here re consequences - they made difficult situations much much worse. No tv? She turned it on anyway. Confiscated phone/guitar - ransacked the house & took my keys in order to find them. Eventually, at age 24 she was diagnosed with severe ADHD, & More I realised those consequences would have produced anxiety in her worse than the original requests.

This. I'm already late for work every day (I take him to school) I can't sit at home with him all day every day.

He does have underlying issues (depression, anxiety), but 'nothing works' so he won't even try anything anymore - medication, therapy, exercise.

I'm at my wits' end and it's to the point that by the time he gets dropped off, I'm practically in tears, but have to get it together so that I can go to work and do what I need to do.

Emma Certainly it's important to rule out clinical anxiety and depression. But it appears to me that absolutely everything these days is being blamed on anxiety and depression and we are too quick to medicate and relieve children of their responsibilities.

Melissa382 Thank you for this I hope more parents see this.

Emma Agree 100%.

Janelle383 Maybe your child is depressed or something. You never know what really goes on in a teen’s mind.

Thanks for taking the time to put this article together to support parents. This is something I spend a lot of time also doing. I would love to be able to use your work as a reference for the families I come in contact with. The above article leaves me with a question that I feel would come up if I used it; "If the key is to avoid the power struggle, how do I then avoid the power struggle that would ensue from implementing the consequence?" Many of the struggles people have result from the secondary behaviour that follows the logical (as opposed to natural) consequence implementation. I look forward to hearing your strategies for this next step. Kindest Regards

Emma Same question here. And how can natural consequences work when they are not immediate? A 14-year-old has trouble understanding that missing homework assignments, being lazy with schoolwork, and not studying will impact his future. His immediate natural consequence is lower grades, but what if he doesn't care because he can't More see how this affects him in the future?

Txmomma Yes I have the same issue. In response to a consequence he break things, slams stuff, locks me out screams and yells. He doesn’t care if he gets bad grades. He doesn’t care if he fails or has to repeat a grade.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on our website.

• 1. Unmotivated Child? 6 Ways to Get Your Child Going
• 2. How to Motivate Teenagers
• 3. Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says "I Don't Care"
• 4. Life Skills: 5 Tips To Help Your Child Make It in the Real World
• 5. 5 Ways to Help Kids Who Procrastinate
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November 3, 2020

Ask Lisa Podcast - Episode 13

How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework?

• School & College

Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task. Lisa’s October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/29/well/family/teenagers-motivation-school.html For Children Everywhere –  GoFundMe.org’s Covid-19 Relief Fund financially supports people impacted by the pandemic and organizations helping with relief efforts: https://www.gofundme.com/f/covid19-relief-cause-fund

November 3, 2020 | 28 min

Transcript | How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework?

Ask Lisa Podcast, Ep. 13: How Do I Motivate my Kid to do Homework?

The Ask Lisa Podcast does not constitute medical advice and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you have concerns about your child’s well-being, consult a physician or mental health professional.

REENA : I feel like I’m working seven days a week, like harder than I ever have before.

LISA : I feel the same way. I feel like I’ve never worked so hard in my life as I am right now.

REENA : But you know what the frustrating part is? I feel like I can never get my kids to do what I need them to do.

LISA : Like you’re working triple overtime and they’re not picking up their own slack?

REENA : Triple overtime. That’s why I took some satisfaction in seeing this in our inbox from mom who wrote this letter, which just hit so close to home for me. It says: I’’m a new podcast listener and have been really enjoying your show. My question is regarding my five and a half year old who’s currently attending in-person all day kindergarten. He takes a bath after coming home and then it’s playtime or screen time until dinnertime. Bedtime routine starts after dinner. He’s been having homework with kindergarten that’s assigned Fridays and it’s usually due the following Friday. Previously I’ve been able to get to finish the homework on weekends so we haven’t had to worry about it during the week. The most ideal situation in my opinion. However the increase in homework load, we’ve been splitting it up to be done over a couple of days. He has been adamant about having his play or screen time first, then dinner time, and only then will he willingly do his homework. Here’s my gripe: doing his homework before bedtime when he’s already tired from the day, and number two, I’d like to establish the habit of work before play, but I also understand that he’d like to rest before doing work because come on, we adults feel the same way, right? How do I find a good compromise that sets a good habit without him developing resentment towards the task of doing homework so he’s not doing homework right before bed when it’s evident he’s tired?’

LISA : Okay this letter is amazing.

REENA : Right?It hits on so many things that I feel right now I’m struggling with.

LISA : Well and it hits on all of these sort of essential elements of kids and homework and routine and reward and rest, and what I love is you got this mom who gets it that even with a five-year-old we want to be thoughtful about the patterns and habits that get laid down around how homework gets done, and I love that we can take, you know let’s think it through for her kid, but then the things that we will think through and that she actually puts on the table really do stretch all the way up through you know middle school, high school, college and work life, you know beyond you know kindergarten and elementary school. It’s pretty remarkable, really.

REENA : First off, homework in kindergarten, wow. Can I say I didn’t even realize kids were getting homework in kindergarten, but to her point, like what parent doesn’t want their kid to come right away home, okay fine I’ll give you ten minutes have a snack but start your homework so none of us have to worry about this anymore.

LISA : Well and that is probably an adjustment that she should push for here, which is this idea of trying to get homework as early into the lineup in the evening as possible, and you know it’s all new still, they’re just transitioning to this idea of weekday homework so there’s room to work, but one thing I’ve definitely seen it work as a psychologist is at any age the later it gets that homework begins, the worse it all goes. So this is definitely an adjustment and she’s right and you’re right that it’s fair to give kids a beat when they get home from school, whether it’s a snack a little TV show, a little downtime, and then especially if we think about kids who are not leaving physically to go to school and don’t have maybe a bus ride to decompress or things like that it’s fair to give them a little rest and a little chance if they need it to just unwind, but then to push for homework to get going early.

REENA : But you know what’s that time, right? I mean do you give it an hour? Do you give it two? Look, at our house if my son wants to play XBox you’ve got to finish everything before you can log on, and as you you know, I say you’re the reason why we ended up getting the Xbox because socializing boys, he said it’s something they did pre pandemic you told us a few episodes back, and so he gets on with the other boys, and I feel like I see other moms are pretty much the same, all the boys have to finish their homework then they can enjoy that time.

LISA : Well so that’s a pretty good system, right? That there is a very highly desirable reward waiting for him when he gets his homework done. So maybe he gets a different kind of downtime, you know maybe just a little snack, a little TV or something like that, then hits the homework but the Xbox waits. And the other thing, I mean Xbox is a perfect example of that,  if you feel like it’s gonna be hard to pull the kid away, right? A whole bunch of other kids are involved, there’s not a natural break because maybe those other kids could go on for a long time that’s probably not the right downtime before a kid gets down to business on their homework.

REENA : Is having that sort of reward system ever a bad thing?

LISA : No, actually it’s not, and this is something I took up in my most recent column, which also made me really psyched to see this letter from this mom around like motivation and kids getting motivation to do their school work, and there’s a there’s a pretty extensive body of psychological research on this and I want to unpack it a little because I think it hangs out too much on the academic side and it has so much to tell us on the ground real life parenting side. So when educational psychologists talk about motivation, we actually talk about two different types. We talk about intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, and the best way to think of these is to think of it as intrinsic motivation is almost a lot like fascination, where you’re just really drawn to something, it’s on like the book you can’t put down, it’s the the work that’s so engaging with the work itself is its own reward, and I mean that’s awesome if it’s happening. And then there’s extrinsic motivation, where we engage and do things because either we have to or else we’ll get in trouble, so lik the extrinsic motivation is like not getting punished, or it’s we’re doing it because Xbox is waiting for us we’re doing, or we’re doing it because we’re getting a salary to do the work, and so you know these are just two different mechanisms of motivation, and the only place I think where this can go wrong and this sometimes happens, especially in educational circles, is the sense that like the better one is the intrinsic one, you know it’s better if you have intrinsic motivation, and well I mean it is because it’s effortless and it’s you know nice to have intrinsic motivation, but you can’t always get there, right? Kids don’t always have intrinsic motivation or sometimes they love one subject more than another, or they’re really into something on Monday but not Wednesday, and so what I like to think about, and then we can get really practical about what this looks like, what I like to think about is stacking the deck for intrinsic motivation, and we know what we can do, but really helping kids think about these as two different gears that just move them down the academic road and that they, at their best, students learn to switch between these gears. Like when they’ve got intrinsic motivation they ride on that, and when the intrinsic motivation has dried up or gone or not showing up, they can switch into extrinsic motivation to still get it done.

REENA : So give me an example, like how do I make this work with school life for them?

LISA : Okay, so when we say stacking the deck for intrinsic motivation, because truly if you can get intrinsic motivation that does make everything a lot easier, the kinds of things that we know really matter are things like giving kids some autonomy, right? So it may be saying to your son, dude, you do have to do your homework but you can decide the order in which you take it on. Or you can decide where you do it, right? If you want to do it in the kitchen or in the dining room, or you know laying on the living room floor, I don’t care. So a degree of autonomy and say makes a difference in terms of kids being into their work. Support, praise, even though praise people are like extrinsic motivation, okay well it turns out that the right kind of praise actually supports intrinsic motivation, and when we say the right kind of praise, it’s got to be sincere, you want to praise effort, not talent. Be like I see how hard you’re working. It’s awesome, and it’s got to be supportive not kind of domineering, so it’s got to be like, you did such a good job. Not, you did such a good job, just like I expected you to. You know so as long as we’re in a good place and really kind of heartfelt and generous place with our praise and it’s real and it’s true and it’s really admiring the kid, that really helps. So those are the things we can do, and also making sure kids feel like they they have a grip on the work, like when the work is way too hard or overwhelming there’s not gonna be intrinsic motivation.

REENA : I want to back up for a second. When we’re talking about praise the effort not the talent, why is that so important? Not to say like, oh wow look at it you’re so great at reading? Why do you say it’s so important to praise like I like how hard you’re working on this reading. Why is that better to phrase it that way?

LISA : Great question. So there’s a super long answer that we might spend time on another episode around growth mindset versus fixed mindset, and I think some of our listeners will know that that’s the area in which I’m working, but the bottom line is praise what kids can control. So if you like, oh you’re such a smarty, right, it has that sense of like lucky you you’re super smart, and then when they’re struggling they can have this feeling of like, oh maybe I’m not so smart, but it doesn’t feel like something that they have say over. Whereas if you say, you know what you’re crushing and you’re crushing it because you are working. Then, when they’re feeling unsure or uneasy, they can fall back on something they have say over, which is how hard they work.

REENA : But I found when kids struggle with certain subject, they’re bad in math, sometimes they’ll be like, ugh I’m so dumb, I’m so dumb, I can’t do this, and you want to help build their confidence, right? I find the more you start doing multiplication facts and long division you get greater confidence, but you’re saying don’t focus on telling them how smart they are, even if they feel like they’re not smart at all?

LISA : Probably not, but here’s what you could do, right? So any kid who’s like, I don’t get math. I’m dumb at math. I can’t do math. What usually you can point to is some other domain of that child’s life where they didn’t used to know what they were doing. So you can say, ok but remember the first time you got your skateboard and you fell on your butt like 100 times and then you kept at it, kept at it, kept at it? Okay this is like that. So it’s true you do not know what you’re doing. It’s true you feel like you’re falling down a lot, but the same persistence that you used to figure out the skateboard is the exact same persistence that is going to come through for you here.

REENA : So to the topic of getting them to do this, like what really works as a motivator. What if what if there isn’t, like an Xbox? You know my son has the Xbox, my daughter doesn’t. So she’ll play for hours and hours and at the end realize, oh my gosh I haven’t done my homework yet.

LISA : So, okay so this idea of like if intrinsic motivation isn’t happening, which sometimes kids are not like, yay my homework, I can’t wait to do it, right? Which is often most of the time, they’re not like that, then like time to bust out the extrinsic motivation. And I really, like there’s no shame in that. And the first place I like to start, okay Reena, I have highly elaborate systems for making myself do work I don’t want to do, but what are yours, like I know you have, like if you have something that’s like, this is a beast I don’t want to tackle it, or I don’t wanna make a call or I don’t want to do this thing, what have you used in your career, and also your home life, you know to get yourself to do the things you don’t want to do?

REENA : Procrastination. It’s called procrastination.

LISA : You mean creating time pressure? Is what I’ll call it.

REENA : I like how you turn it into such a lovely psychological, even my struggles. You know,  I read this book awhile ago, it’s like swallow the frog. You wake up in the morning and you do the thing you really hate to do the most, and I use the word hate, it’s pretty strong. I, in an ideal circumstance, love to work out in the morning. I know I’ve knocked it out, it’ll help me feel good. I’m not always motivated to work out or, you know, if I’ve got a list of things to do, it’s the one thing I’m really really dreading because I’m just not into that thing, I try to do that first, or by a certain time and I find the earlier I do, I knock it out I’m done, and then I don’t keep thinking about it and it doesn’t bring me down.

LISA : Okay, so you say procrastination but what you really describe is you grab the bull by the horns, do the nastiest job, and then you can relax into and enjoy the rest of it, is what it sounds like we’re describing.

REENA : Yeah

LISA : So one way we could frame that up, and this is something you can then take to kids, is you actually use the intrinsic motivation for the work you want to do as the reward for doing the thing you don’t want to do. So, you have a bunch of stuff on your list and you’re like, okay here’s the one I don’t want to do, but there’s all the stuff I do want to do, so even tasks, and this is a really interesting idea, like even tasks and jobs things that are not obviously playful, can be rewards if you like, but I’m into those ones, those are interesting that will be gratifying, so you do that and we can actually show kids how to do that when they’re like, oh I can’t even start my homework. You can say, all right, which of this like do you find really interesting, and which of this is basically a slug? Okay, here one strategy is to put the slog stuff first, get it out of the way so you can get to the stuff you like, and use the stuff you like as a reward for doing the stuff you didn’t feel like doing. Now, I go opposite from you, okay I am, okay

REENA : That is true about a lot in life.

LISA : But it just shows you, like there’s a million ways to get it right. So I am like the queen of the to-do list. There’s little in life the gives me as much pure delight as crossing off the last item on a to-do list, and so for me I will actually put the gnarliest task last because I find it easier to get started on my work, and a lot of kids on this too, easier to get started if I do something I want to do, and then I roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, through my to do list and then I get to that ugly item at the bottom, and my wish to cross off the last thing is greater than my wish to not do that thing. And so I put the frog at the bottom.

REENA : Wow.

LISA : And that’s how I get it done.

REENA : Wow. That thought would never have crossed my mind, to swallow a frog at the end of the day not the beginning.

LISA : But, okay, so these are the conversations we need to have with kids and when I say these conversations, I mean a much more open discussion of the fact that every functioning grown up has stuff they don’t want to do, and has already developed elaborate systems for hacking themselves into doing it anyway, and if we all do this this is going on all the time, I mean I I’ve got three other, four other wild strategies I use, which I’m very happy to confess, but what’s interesting to me is we carry on and get our work done this way, and a lot of kids walk around feeling like, oh and isn’t that so neat-o that that person feels like doing it and getting down to business, and then they’re like oh I can’t wait til that feeling drops on me that I want to do this. And it’s so much more useful to kids if we’re like, oh no no, I don’t want to do it but here’s how I do it.

REENA : It’s true and I have to admit, and this is so horrible to admit, like my daughter had a presentation about herself to make, and doing slideshows, and it’s like the morning of, it’s due and I’m helping her like empty it in so she can, you know get to school on time, and my husband like don’t be that mom who’s like doing the presentation for the kid, like I know, but I want this done it’s got to be finished and she didn’t finish. And I just feel like we’re all struggling with so much at home with work and doing things at home that, you know, just extra workload on that front, that we sometimes maybe cut corners or can’t figure out how to do this that’s going to set them on the right track for the future.

LISA : It is hard. I mean there’s that weirdness, first of all, like the overlap of life like life at home and our kids school work and our professional lives, I mean like it’s all sort of rolled up together in a weird way right now. And then, you know, I don’t know what was going on with your daughter around that assignment in particular, but I have to tell you, as much as this mom is talking about kind of garden variety stuff around how do kids do school and how to get them to do what we want them to do, or they should do. I have never heard motivation be as low for kids in school right now. I mean I’ve never heard it at these low levels, that here we are, it’s like basically early November and kids are like, I don’t want to do it anymore, and you’re like okay but the year just got rolling.

REENA : Right.

LISA : So it it’s compounded by how hard this year is and then for some kids it’s not even like in person and so then it feels that much more hard to get kind of, you know, invested in and get some juice for it, so I think a lot of families are feeling this right now.

REENA: But, you know, I love when our podcasts are just so relatable to our personal life as adults, and I just think that we’re in this like it feels like this black abyss, we don’t know what to expect, and the fact is it’s it’s going to get yuckier as we continue on, so what needs to happen? You know especially as some kids are lucky enough to be in school, others are remote, it is so much harder when you are remote. So what really matters in this point of, you know, is sticking to a routine important? Like how do you, when you’re talking about motivation, what needs to happen to have kids self-motivate?

LISA : Okay, so let’s think about it, like let’s come up with the recipe to support kids’ motivation and let’s think about all the ingredients. And I’m gonna try to rattle off as many as I can because you know how different every family is, and how different every kid is, and so I’m going to set myself a goal, like maybe I can come up with five or six ingredients for your kids motivation recipe, on the idea that some families will need a couple of these, some families will need other other ones of these. Okay so you said the magic word, a magic word, one of them routine, right? And this is part of what this mom is asking about, like should we change the routine? The answer is yes. So part of how we support motivation is having routinized nice times when the school work gets done. So if you’re in a position, or your kid’s in a position everyday, that when they’re like, I wonder when I’m going to do my homework today, like you’re already in trouble? So the first step the first ingredient in supporting motivation for kids is there should be a very predictable pattern regardless of how they do school, and I actually think for a lot of us it’s all about to get jumbled up again, even with the new schedules and new systems come down from schools as things get, you know, as the rates rise. Put in a routine and put in a routine time for when the work gets accomplished. Like that should not be up for grabs. So that’s one. Another one would definitely be praise. Like I actually think we owe it to kids so big right now. If they are upright and trying I think we should be like, buddy I see you. You are really working. I know you’re not into this. I know you don’t dig it. I’m really impressed. I think that’s huge. I think that’s huge. Okay, so we got two, Reena, right? Three, trying to support intrinsic motivation in other ways, giving them say, giving them autonomy. Okay that’s three. Four, being really open about her extrinsic motivation strategies, okay Reena, so you’ve got swallow the frog first, what else do you have? Like what other like rewards, treats, what else do you like?

REENA : Yeah like I don’t really believe in and giving, in our house we don’t really do allowances, but I guess we kind of have turned into it. We review at the end of the week and we pretend we haven’t e-bank and we give very little money, but money I say I really loved your behavior on this and this and here, and that’s been such a big motivator to you point of saying, you know, there are actions like applauding the actions can make a difference.

LISA : So, like an e-bank, so like if your son’s really buckled down or really, you know, dealing with the difficult situation we’re all in, you’re saying to him, like, I really see what you’re up to, I see how hard you’re trying. An e-bank like you give him credits for things?

REENA : It’s like three dollars a week that he sometimes uses to buy things on Xbox or whatever, and we say at the end of the month they can use that money towards something, and money is also deducted if they, you know, like hit their sister, or had of massive temper tantrum, didn’t do their homework or their chores, and we kind of look at the week, and see what we like and didn’t like.

LISA : Okay, so they’re sort of like a let’s look back on the week, and like what did you handle well and what did you not handle well, and how can I give you a carrot right to keep you going? So okay there’s that. So I think we’re on five. So there’s that extrinsic motivator. Another one that I think it’s kind of five point A, or they’re sort of connected is on asking kids what they find would find motivating, so you’ve kind of done that, right? You know that he wants these e-credits. I am always amazed by how creative kids can be, and this especially gets to teenagers, when they’re struggling, if they’re having a hard time getting their work done, one of the things I learned from teenagers is a lot of them use, or some of them use, they were telling me, they’re like oh you just pull up a YouTube study buddy. And I was like excuse me? So if you go to YouTube and you Google study buddy, yeah what comes up are all of these videos of these very earnest looking college age students in beautiful libraries, hard at work, and there’s a timer so you can time how long you study alongside them. Some of them have music, some of them don’t and so like what what they’re offering is companionship while you study, you’re not by yourself, but it’s also not a friend who’s gonna distract you because if they FaceTime with each other they often end up chit chatting.

REENA : What a relief. I thought it was going to be a different kind of friend you were going to be introducing us to.

LISA : It’s like a total stranger who never meet, but boy do they look studious. So stuff like that that grown ups would ever think of, I’m hearing from teenagers works really well. Sometimes, I’ve used this personally but teenagers will do it to, like going to a place that somewhat public to work, you know, probably not a coffee shop right now, but if it’s nice like going outside, or in a library if it’s big enough and safe enough, because I think there can be the sense of, like it’s a little embarrassing to like you know sort of social media if you’re in the library because somebody might see, sort of shames you into just focusing. So let’s just call the six, like really really asking kids what would work for them, so putting forward our own ideas about extrinsic rewards, and then saying you know I know this is not what you want to be doing or I know you just can’t face one more project tonight, like what would help? I mean do you want to tell me what you want for dinner and if I have an in house all to make it happen, or do you want me to sit with you? Do you want me to bring my laptop and sit next to and I’ll just work quietly, but really counting on the inventiveness and creativity of kids and and then of course like wrapped up in that idea is making it very clear that we’re totally at ease with the idea that they need this kind of scaffolding to get the work done not making it a shameful thing.

REENA : That’s really great advice. Before we go I wanna talk a little bit about our For Children Everywhere, it’s charity that we always like to plug, and this week we decided to plug the Gofundme account for COVID-19 relief fund. I know it can be so uncertain right now but what we do know certainly is people need help, so be sure to check out our show notes and we’ll have a link there as to how you can help people who are still suffering in a big way from this pandemic. And we also announce we’ve got a special upcoming episode dealing with getting into college. Tell us about that, Lisa.

LISA : Okay so we’re going to have our first guest, Reena. I’m very excited. It’s Jeff Selingo, who is the author of this recent really big book called “Who Gets In And Why: A Year Inside College Admissions.” He did an unbelievable job of reporting on really what happens inside college admissions and he’s going to join us to answer questions. We’ll call it like Ask Jeff that week instead of Ask Lisa. So what we want people to do is send in your questions to asklisa(at)drlisadamour(dot)com about college admissions, and if you have young kids you can send in questions about like what should we be doing now if that’s on your mind. If you have late high schoolers or high school age kids, send them in, and Jeff has graciously agreed to basically do a speed round with us to answer as many as possible, so send those questions in, that episode will drop late in November.

REENA : Can’t wait for that. He’s such an expert so great to have him on. And to wrap it up, what’s your parenting to-go this week.

LISA : Okay, so my parenting to go something I have been using a lot in my own home lately and it was given to me, unfortunately I don’t know her name, but this wonderful mom that I encountered shared this with me about how to get your younger kid to pick up their stuff. Back into motivation. So maybe this works better with girls and boys but I but there’s another way that would just as well with boys, but she taught me to refer to all of the detritus that my younger daughter leaves around the house as sparkle.

REENA: Sparkle?

LISA: Yes. Honey, your sparkle is everywhere. I need you to pick up your sparkle, and you can easily imagine what word is really in my mind when I’m saying that.

REENA: Exactly.

LISA: But there’s something so funny and delightful about it that it just takes some of the heat out of it, and actually might my almost ten year old daughter is, we use we sometimes nicknamed her like the sparkle fairy, and like it’s really well-meaning because she is, she’s got this bubbly huge funny personality, but then it makes it that much more germane for her when we’re like, honey, sparkle fairy, your sparkle is everywhere could you put it away?

REENA: I love that sparkle. I could use that in my life. Great advice. We will wee you next week, and I want to remind everyone to check us out on Instagram and Twitter @ asklisapodcast. Thank you so much, Lisa.

LISA: You bet. See you next week.

REENA: See you next week.

More resources

The advice provided here by Dr. Damour and the resources shared by her AI-powered librarian, Rosalie, will not and do not constitute - or serve as a substitute for - professional psychological treatment, therapy, or other types of professional advice or intervention. If you have concerns about your child’s well-being, consult a physician or mental health professional.

Motivating Children to Do Their Homework: Parent’s Guide (English and Spanish)

Description.

Your child gets home after a long day at school and you ask, “Do you have any homework?” Does your child complain and say something like, “Yes, but I don’t want to do it!” or “Yes, but it’s too hard”? What happens next? If you’re like many parents, you soon find yourself in an argument that may end in your child doing the homework, but you’re both mad. 

Do you often wonder whether there’s a better way? The purpose of this guide is to show you how to motivate your child to do their homework in a peaceful, positive way. It is provided in English and in Spanish.

7 Creative Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Do Their Homework

It's hard to get kids excited about things they don't want to do, like going to sleep, eating their veggies, and, yes, doing their homework . While some children are natural overachievers who enjoy school and relish in homework time, many children will rebel. And usually, once your child has it in their mind that they don't want to do something, it can be difficult to convince them otherwise. To help with this, we've come up with seven creative solutions to help get them excited about doing their homework (and doing it well!).

1. Make a Colorful Workstation

Any adult who has a desk knows that having a colorful, inspiring workspace can really help you with creativity and productivity. The same can be said for a child's workstation! Whether they have their own desk in their room or have a workspace in a common area of your home, decorate it with things they are inspired by (colored pencils, a fun eraser, etc.) so that homework time is more fun.

2. Give Them a Reward

Rewarding your child for doing their homework can be a little controversial, but when done right, it's very effective. Some parents choose to reward their children with food or toys, but the reward can even be as simple as an hour of TV time or a creative, fun activity. Whatever your child's natural instincts, abilities, and interests, choose a reward that will motivate them to finish their homework.

3. Praise Your Child

Rewards don't necessarily have to be tangible objects. If you're uncomfortable with physical rewards, consider using praise as a reward. Children are often concerned with pleasing their parents, so if you establish that completing homework results in praise, they may be more willing to do their homework on a regular basis.

4. Establish a Homework Routine

Most children work better when a routine is established, so consider setting aside a certain time for homework every day after school. You can also let them have an hour or so after they get home to watch TV or have a snack first.

5. Let Your Child Decide When Homework Time Is

It can be hard to make children do something they don't want to do, so letting them have some level of agency and choice when it comes to their homework can really help motivate them. Instead of telling them when homework time is, sit them down and let them choose what works best for them. Maybe your child prefers to do their homework immediately when they get home from school, whereas some children need a break beforehand.

6. Encourage Using Technology

There are likely many ways your child uses an iPad or computer that are not homework-related, but instead of telling them to put down their devices during homework time, see if there are ways they can use technology to help them. The internet can be a powerful tool for studying and research, and there are lots of apps available that can help your child with spelling, math, and other subjects.

7. Make Homework Their Responsibility

Homework is a great way to teach your children responsibility . Ultimately, the only person who is impacted by whether or not they complete their homework is your child. Make sure they understand the implications of not doing their homework and, if necessary, let them find out the hard way. Making homework your child's responsibility will help them to see the direct results of their actions.

• Parenting Tips
• Little Kids

How to Motivate Your Child to Do Homework

by Robert Schramm | Jul 19, 2022 | Podcast

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Ask parents what the worst part about raising school age children is and, chances are, they’ll say it’s homework. After completing a full day of school, the last thing kids feel like doing is their homework, and the last thing parents want to do is fight them on it. No matter what behavior your kids are exhibiting towards homework, there are things you can to do motivate them, reinforce good behaviors, and apply the strategies I cover to your own unique situation.

Using positive reinforcement helps produce more of the behavior you want to see in your kids, including getting them to finish their homework. Finding a motivation that’s strong enough and occurs often enough can get your kid to complete their work on a day-by-day basis. Once you determine a good reinforcer, you’ll then need to decide how often to provide it for it to be effective. Kids are motivated by a variety of different things, and no two kids are alike. Some children are motivated by their parents’ attention while others would rather spend time alone or play video games. Breaking down homework into smaller, more manageable chunks may also help get the job done.

What’s Inside:

• Why using positive reinforcement makes homework worth doing.
• How to identify reinforcers and when to make them available.
• Homework strategies to use with younger children.

Mentioned in this episode

• Just7Steps.com/workshop

Robert: What is the worst part about raising school age children? Is it the homework? It’s the homework, isn’t it? Yep. I knew it was the homework. So let’s discuss all things homework today in just seven steps. 

Intro: Welcome to the Just Seven Steps podcast with Robert Schramm, a board-certified behavior analyst, educator, author and developer of the Seven Steps to Successful Parenting. For more than 20 years, Robert has been teaching parents and professionals how to support children and developing the values and priorities necessary to live a successful life. In this podcast, you’ll hear from some of the biggest experts in the fields of education, parenting and behavior analysis. So buckle in and get ready for a wild ride where you’ll learn to be your best in just seven steps. 

Robert: Hi, I’m Robert Schramm, a behavior analyst, education specialist, author and dad. And I’m also the developer of the Seven Steps to Instructional Motivation. Each week, I provide you with helpful information based on that just seven steps approach. So if you haven’t already subscribe to my YouTube channel, take a second. Do it now. I promise you’ll be glad you did. In today’s episode we will be talking about homework. Man, I personally do not like homework. I’m against it in general. I mean, if our kids are going to spend up to what it’s like 30 hours a week at school, how is it okay that we’re asking them to do work outside of that already? Pretty substantial amount of time. I know we have antilabor laws in this country that don’t allow our kids to have to work. But isn’t it isn’t going to school just a form of work? And isn’t 6 hours a day enough for them to do all they need to do? Well, apparently it’s not because just like you, my kids are finding themselves inundated with homework, studying, and projects that take up what little free time they have left. To be honest, I’m a little surprised that more kids don’t just start refusing to do their homework. There are quite a few, though, that do fight homework, and parents are left having to somehow battle their way through making their kids work for one or sometimes 2 hours or more after they’ve already completed a full day of school. So today on the Just Seven Steps podcast, I’m going to take some time to talk about all of the tips and hints that become inherent for folks who understand and use the Seven Steps to Instructional Motivation with their children, and how you can use these concepts to stop having to battle your kids on a daily basis and to find ways to motivate and reinforce better homework habits and behavior. Now, homework is a bit of a large topic because depending on the age of your child, you might be dealing with having to do worksheets and basic skills. Or it could be working on advanced skills that you may not even know how to do yourself. Additionally, how does studying for tests fit into all of this? But luckily, the things that work to motivate and reinforce behavior work across the board for all types of behavior, including all types of homework. You just need to take in some of these concepts and figure out how to apply them to your child’s current situation. 

Robert: The first concept I want to talk about is offering positive reinforcement for behavior that you want to see more of. This is the easiest way to make effort on homework worth it to your child. And let’s be real. We understand why your child should want to do their homework and get good grades. We understand what their future holds and what will help them to have a better life. But we still have to find a way to consistently, day after day, convince them that it’s in their long term best interest to give up free time, game time or friend time doing homework. So if we can just find a motivator that is strong enough and occurs often enough to give them a reason to want to complete their assigned homework, that’s by far the easiest path to progress. So what are some meaningful, strong motivators that your child might find worth the effort it would take to do their homework on a day by day basis? And how do we make that reinforcer available often enough to maintain that motivation throughout the week? Well, some of my class clients there, we’ve always looked for these sort of super reinforcers that can offer a pull on a child’s behavior from day to day. And we’ve come up with some examples that I think I can share with you that’ll be helpful. Now, I’ve had kids who’ve been willing to start doing homework daily without complaining or stalling based on their desire to earn a Lego builder set such as Star Wars or Marvel or minions, airplane or spaceship models, the ability to join a club or a sports team, special vacation opportunities like a weekend trip to a water park or amusement park, favorite special meals or restaurant trips on Friday nights. The ability to go to the movies or have a sleepover on the weekend and in some cases, money to buy the items that are important to your child, such as clothing or shoes or toys or even candy. If it is important for your child to have access to these items that are not normally available to them, but that they now realize are becoming available only due to their willingness to complete homework tasks. You should see them put more effort into daily homework. And as these items are novel and not normally expected, when they would work as a motivator, your child will carry a positive attitude with them as well as they see these as worthwhile bonuses instead of just having to pay for things that they used to get for free. And this is true as long as you set it up correctly. So what do we have to do with this strong, meaningful, out of the ordinary reinforcer once we find it? Well, we need to consider how we will allow the child to work towards earning it in such a way that you can get maximum motivation out of it. This is especially important if there are prohibitive costs involved. I know some of those larger Lego sets can get pretty darn expensive. And I’ve had kids who work for a pair of Michael Jordan shoes, which can cost in the hundreds. 

Robert: In most cases, you want to identify how often you would be able to afford or willing to give access to this newly determined reinforcer. Is it every couple of days, once a week, once a month, or once every few months? The more often you can make the reinforcer available, the better, because immediacy is such an important aspect in the effectiveness of reinforcement. So here’s an example. Would you rather I give you $50 today or $60 a month? Depending on a lot of factors. You might choose the lower amount of money based on the fact that it’s a more immediate payoff. Again, our kids are the same. The further you push out access to reinforcement, the less value it’ll be making it less likely to affect their behavior now. So keep that in mind. But if you identify that the reinforcer will be available weekly or even every few days, you can assume it will have more pull than that same reinforcer would if it was only available, say, monthly. Scarcity in this instance is not our friend. And once you know what reinforcers you’re going to use and how often you’re able to give that reinforcer, you have to set up a way for you to track your child’s progress that keeps their eyes on the prize, so to speak. As you go from one day to the next, some form of token system or chart that tracks progress towards the larger goal is going to be helpful for both you and your child. So for each successful day of homework, will your child be earning a star on their star chart? A number of points based on how much they did or how well they completed it might be able to earn one or two or even three X’s on a chart, depending on the effort of the day. Can you offer them more access on days that they do homework without you needing to remind them or without complaining? I mean, technically we can set up to reinforce the behavior we want in the form we want to see it. I mean, what is most important to you? Is it independence? We can incentivize doing homework without bothering others. If it’s the quality of the work, we can incentivize how many they get correct on our checking it. If it’s the amount of work or the amount of time they put in, we can incentivize that as well. Once we know what the reinforcer is and we know how many tokens or stars or x’s they can earn per day, and we know about how long it will have to go before we can make it available to them, meaning weekly or monthly or longer. We can then determine how many tokens it would take to earn the item. Maybe we set it up that the child can earn between zero and five points per day based on their homework behavior. And if we know, we can only afford to be able to give them the item as a reinforcer monthly, then we’re looking at somewhere around 100 points to earn that item. This assumes four weeks in a month, five days in a week, and five possible points per day. You can then explain to your child what they can earn in just one month’s time if they’re able to earn five points per day. But it might take longer if they’re not able to get the full five points. 

Robert: Now, if this example were to end up being part of a plan, we’re going to have to determine if the child will find that getting that reinforcer monthly is going to be strong enough to push them to get the full effort at getting their five points each day. If we think there’s a chance that it’s not. There is, however, more that we can do. For example, in addition to adding the points earned each day to the grand total for the larger reinforcer, we can also offer reinforcement each evening depending on the number of points earned that day. So not only will the child receive five points towards the giant Lego set they want, but they can also get a TV show and popcorn with mom on days that they got a five. Or a TV show. On days that they get a four or nothing additional. On days that they get it three or less. Another additional motivator that can be added is a negative reduction consequence. For days that the child were to get two or less. For example, not only will the child not get their points towards the big prize or popcorn and a show on the days that they get three or less, we could also add the removal of access to something for days that they get a two or less. Maybe their iPhone is taken away for an hour. Or if they get a two or four the whole night for a one and four a day on the weekend if they get a zero. You see, there’s no limit to the ways we can start to differentiate and incentivize better and better homework behavior. Maybe it might make sense to offer an allowance based on the homework done. In this case, maybe you have a chart for the larger long term reinforcer and the child needs to earn, say, 50 X’s to gain access to that special reward. And you can add an allowance to that. Or maybe you can just do the allowance without the larger long term reinforcement. But either way, each day they can get a half an X, a full x, 1.5 or two axes depending on their homework behavior as defined by whatever aspects you want to incentivize. Then you can award a quarter per half x of allowance earned each day. That way, if your child gives their full two axes, that’s possible. They’re going to get close to their 50 for the larger reinforcer and or they’re going to earn a dollar a day towards money that they can spend on the weekends. But I don’t want you to worry. There’s no reason anything that we do here has to cost any money at all. All that has to happen is that you have to creatively find something meaningful that is important enough for your child to want to work for it. Attention kids might go out of their minds for a board game or a card game with mom and dad in the evenings. Escape kids might do everything possible during the week to not have to participate in a family activity on the weekend. Sensory kids might find the right fight through their homework blues for a chance to go to the park or the beach or somewhere that has a trampoline for them to jump on over the weekend. And there’s always the old standby, the one my mom finally figured out that began my behavior change as a young adult, which eventually led me to better grades and a college degree. She started to make my access to the family car dependent on my behavior around the house, including grades, homework, coming home on time, etc.. I discussed this time in my life in an earlier episode about developing respect in a parenting relationship. Check that episode out. It’s certainly going to be one of our most popular. 

Robert: Maybe your kid doesn’t need to have such a strong novel motivator in place for us to be successful. Perhaps you have a child who is enthralled with playing video games. Might it be possible to set up some rules about when those games can be played? What will motivate them to get their homework done in a timely fashion without the need for reminders and nagging on your part? For instance, what if your child was told that they could get all that they could only play their video games from after school until, say, 530, and then at 530, the Internet’s going to be turned off for dinner. Then you announced that homework has to be acceptably completed before they can turn the video games on. Then they know that each day they will have up to 2.5 hours of video game play, but only if they don’t have homework to finish first. And as they have homework, it will be in their best interest to get to it right away without you needing to prompt them or beg them or pester them. They know that each passing minute they’re not finished is a minute less that they’re going to be able to play Minecraft or Roblox or Fortnite. If it takes your child one hour to do their homework, they’re going to get 1.5 hours of computer time. But if they stall and delay and it doesn’t get done, they might not get any computer time. You can also add extra motivators like special desserts or after dinner activities that become available depending on how well or quickly they get their homework done. Of course, with this kind of plan, there is an inherent motivation to go quickly through the homework and do it sloppily without any concern for correctness. But you would need to be in charge of signing off on the quality of the work done before they can get to their video games. This sort of program has been has even been enough for me to see kids who start getting their homework done in school just to make sure they have as much free gaming time as possible when they get home. Now, you may not want your kid to get a full 2.5 hours of gaming time per day. But if they’re successful, getting their homework done every day and their grades are going up and you’re fighting less, it might be worth it. Besides, once you have a motivator that is working, you can start to adjust it a bit over time and find ways to limit their gaming time as well. Again, this is another way to motivate and reinforce homework that doesn’t cost any additional money to implement. 

Robert: Okay. So I’m going to switch gears here just a little bit and talk about some things that you can do for younger kids or kids who just don’t have the stamina to handle the amount of homework you’re currently having to ask them to do. To some degree, this conversation will be similar to some of what was talked about in my episode. On Getting Your Kids to Keep Their Room Clean. Another great episode. You should go back and watch if you can. If you haven’t seen or heard of that one yet, I’d recommend it. I could be wrong. I think it’s episode number two. But anyway, if this is the first of these episodes that you’re checking out, definitely go back to your podcast streamer and look up all of my episodes that are out there. They each run between 20 and 30 minutes and I cover so many great topics you won’t want to miss one. Anyway, back to the topic for today. For younger kids, there may be a struggle with endurance. Maybe they can do their homework, but the amount of time and effort it takes is just too much for them to handle all at one time. One thing you can do is break down their homework each day into manageable chunks. For example, take a math math worksheet and breaking into chunks containing only five problems each then. And instead of expecting them to do the full 30 minute as a hallmark to earn some reinforcement, you can just ask them to do five or ten minute chunks, depending on what you think they can handle, and then reinforce each chunk individually with some game time or computer time or a snack. Then when that reinforcement time is up, quickly return to an expectation for the next jump and repeat until the homework is finished for the day with lots of back and forth, fun and reinforcement throughout the process. As your child becomes more comfortable completing these chunks at their current size, you can begin to increase the size of the chunks a bit each week until they can average ten or 15 minutes per chunk before needing a reinforcement break. If you start this early enough, you can begin to train your child to handle more and more homework the way a runner trains to run longer and longer distances. Studying is kind of its own animal because studying really is harder to assess. How do you know if your child is not studying, studying poorly or just not able to learn the material being required? You can certainly incentivize time study, but that doesn’t help you to identify if your child even really knows how to study correctly, and you can motivate them to engage in lessons about study techniques. But even when a child is studying hard and studying correctly, they may for one reason or another, or for one subject or another, just not be able to retain the information necessary to get the good grades you’re hoping for. To some degree, we need to acknowledge our differences and the chance that your child either has a learning disability or at very least just isn’t going to be good at a specific subject. My daughter Zoe has found algebra to be particularly challenging for her to understand. I’m still motivating and incentivizing effort on her part, for her part and participation. I’m even offering reasons why she would want to ask me for help. But even with all of this, I’ve realized that I need to have a different level of expectation for her from math than her other subjects. And that’s okay. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and the last thing we want to do is to humiliate or pressure a child to do something they’re already giving their full effort into and are just not able to find success. Then you can pay for tutoring. You can motivate extra practice but the bottom line, whatever our goals are for our kids, we want them to be their goals as well. And if they show you a strong desire or strength in one area or the other, it behooves us as parents to let them take that lead at times and show us the things they can truly be excellent at. Now, nothing I talked about today is going to be easy to do if you aren’t able to know what your child is supposed to be doing. I mean, if you’re not privy to their expectations, it’s going to be hard for you to set up a plan that motivates them correctly. So finding a way to get that information from your child’s teacher will probably end up being pretty important. 

Robert: So let’s recap the tips from today. First, it’s always easiest if you can find a way to make doing homework worth it to your child. The best way to do that is to identify a strong novel reinforcer that you can add to their life. If they do well on their homework. You can also add daily reinforcers to help add additional pull on behavior. There’s a lot of free options as well, including taking the time your children are already playing important games or activities and letting that time be limited by how much time it takes them to do their homework. And finally, we discussed breaking homework down into shorter or smaller, more manageable chunks so that your child can build up a tolerance to doing more and more work at a time while still getting plenty of reinforcement throughout that process. Everything I’ve talked about here today is certainly doable, and with a few days determining what should work for you and organizing the plan, it will actually take you less time per day. Once they have motivation in place, then you’re currently spending, arguing and fighting with them. Not only will it take less effort and energy on your part, but you’ll see. You’ll see more success in your kids as well. So if you would like to learn more about how all of this works, come check out my free workshop entitled How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Raising Your Voice or Nagging. It’s available at absolutely no cost to you and you can find it on our website at WWW dot just seven steps dot com backslash workshop. Hope to see you there. Thank you for taking the time to join me today on the Just Seven Steps podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please take just a moment to leave me a comment. Give a thumbs up. Share the video with others and subscribe to our YouTube channel so that you won’t miss out on any of our Just Seven Steps videos designed to help parents of children with challenges. Find your family’s path to progress. See you right here next week. 

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How to Motivate Your Child To Do Their Homework

In this four-part series of blog posts, Omari Eccleston-Brown shares some top tips from his upcoming book The Secret to Happy Homework on how parents can motivate their child to do their homework and achieve calmer, happier, and more productive homework with their children.

For so many parents doing homework with their children in the evenings means facing resistance, complaints and full-blown tantrums.

“You know what, I’m just glad we at least get those 10 minutes walking home from school before we have to kill each other!”

In Rebecca’s case, she had three children – one in his first year of secondary school, one preparing for the 11+ and another preparing for the 8+. So, homework was definitely a feature in her house. But it wasn’t going well. Her children all thought it was pointless and they weren’t short on ways to let her know.

“Why do I always have to be the bad cop, Omari?” Rebecca asked me. “I don’t remember signing up to police their homework every evening. But if I don’t, then they don’t. It’s exhausting!”

I’ve been working with families as a tutor for over 10 years and I see situations like Rebecca’s all the time – homework has become a battleground, the parents are fed up and the children feel totally demotivated.

Yet, motivation is so critical to success at school, so what can you do to motivate your child? And how do you make homework not only bearable, but genuinely fun, meaningful and productive?

Here are a few of my favourite ways to turn things around and get homework working for you and your children, instead of against you.

How can I motivate my child when they don’t want to do their homework?

Most parents know that bribing their child with sweets or threatening them with no screen time can get them one or two nights of argument-free homework at best. But the question is: how do you get the change to last?

The real key to motivating your child or teen is to realise that motivation only lasts when it’s an inside job, not when it’s an outside job. So, the best way to motivate your child and get it to stick is to use whatever’s already motivating them. I call this The Hook .

For instance, I teach lots of boys who are absolutely mad about Match Attax football cards. In the past, whenever they would refuse to leave their game to do my “stupid” comprehension with me, I would immediately start begging, reasoning and cajoling them. It was so long and painful and it took all my energy. I don’t do any of that anymore. Now I try to follow where their motivation naturally wants to lead me. I say: “Ok, I’ve got a passage here about a match between some football-mad schoolboys in Afghanistan. Let’s read it and then make Match Attax cards about the different characters!” I’m not negotiating on the fact that they have to do a comprehension, but I am willing to see how I can make it more interesting and relevant to them. My students can hardly believe their luck. They love poring over the passage to find clues that will tell them how fast each player should be and what score they should give them for passing.

Of course, your child may have a completely different Hook, but it’s not hard to find. Just ask yourself: “What’s my child really into?” “What do they research by themselves and then come and tell me about?” “What was the last piece of schoolwork that got them really fired up?”

Knowing your child’s Hook doesn’t mean you now have to make every piece of homework related to it – that’s not realistic or even necessary. But simply incorporating their Hook occasionally will help them discover something in homework that’s both for themselves and feels like it comes from themselves  – and that’s highly motivating!

How do I help my child be more independent and responsible?

As a parent, you want your children to be able to get on with their homework by themselves.  And when one child genuinely needs your help, you want to know that you can trust the others to finish their work without you watching over them.

What if my child starts their homework, but takes forever to finish?

Every parent has had a piece of homework that’s meant to take 20 minutes take an hour – or more! So, what do you do when your child starts their homework, but takes forever to finish?

Again, giving them a sense of autonomy is key. I suggest finding out from your child’s school how long homework is meant to take their year, then share this with your child and make them The Timekeeper . Give them a stopwatch or a clock and tell them how long they have to finish their homework. Make it sound like a real privilege and let them know you won’t be watching the time for them – you’re trusting them to do that themselves and be in charge of finishing on time. Once the timer goes off, that’s it –  the books go away and they get on with the rest of their evening. If they don’t finish their homework on time because they were being distracted or stalling, don’t be afraid to let them go to school the next day with incomplete homework. Part of being responsible is discovering that there are natural consequences to certain choices and it’s fine to allow your child to discover that now. You might have to put up with a few incomplete homeworks at first, but they will quickly realise that they don’t like disappointing their teacher or getting in trouble at school, and when you don’t bail them out either, they’ll learn to finish their homework on time.

Of course, sometimes a piece of homework does genuinely need longer and in those cases you can work out together how much longer you think it needs and adjust the time accordingly. Your child should still remain The Timekeeper though, and this will keep them motivated and on task.

These are just a few ways that you can motivate your children to not only do their homework, but to truly learn from it, which is the purpose it should really serve.

Omari Eccleston-Brown is the creator of the Happy Homework™ Programme. His book The Secret to Happy Homework: 7 Hidden Laws of Success is released in December 2020.

Read the second article in this series, ‘Making homework work for you’ on how parents can use rules and structure to end homework battles here . Part three in this series, ‘Removing the Barriers to Happy Homework’ is available here .

Listen to our discussion with Omari, below. You’ll get to learn the secrets to calmer, happier and more rewarding homework, as Omari gives you his top tips for motivating your children, creating a schedule that works and setting the right targets. This is a recording from our webinar held on the 4th November 2020.

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How do i motivate my child to turn in homework.

Motivation for things like homework can be hard for complex kids. How do you motivate your child to turn in homework?

Does your kid do their homework and then neglect to turn it in? Does that make you frustrated, but your child doesn’t seem to care? Here are some thoughts on helping kids turn in homework. It starts with a question about whether it’s even important to you.

Elaine: All right, so we have a question that we want to read to you from a mom who says, "How do I motivate my inattentive kid to do homework ?" But then she goes on to say, "Personally, I don't believe in homework. My kid spends six hours at school, gets home after 4 p.m., and then faces three to four hours of homework a day, so there's no down time, no time to spend with friends, or even just relax."

Diane: It's hard when our values are questioned –

Elaine: ...or are out of sync with what's expected.

Diane: Part of this is about understanding what your child really wants, and so it may be that your child's in line with you, and says, "I really don't want to do homework either." Or your child might be, "My gosh, I really want to get it done." A lot of our kids are focused on pleasing , and doing really well, and so that's the first thing, is to just check in and make sure you're in the same groove that your child is, on this.

The second piece of it is to know that you really do have choices in the matter, and it doesn't always feel like that, because one of the choices probably feels pretty stinky. But this is taking me back to the decision I made to let my son fail band class in 7th grade. It was a lot of work for him to fill out all those little things that said he practiced, and he actually practiced, but he was failing because he wasn't actually turning in his stuff. So we made the choice. I think that that's part of it, is just reflecting on what choices you do have, and being conscious about that.

Elaine: What I would add to that is bringing your kid into that conversation like we did. My son was in an exam period, and was really struggling with a paper that he didn't like the topic , he didn't like the book, he didn't like anything, and he was really having a hard time. I finally looked at him, and I said, "So what if you don't write it?" And he paused, and processed it, and figured it out, and then he came back and he said, "No, I'd lose two grades, too many grades – It's not worth it." But then when he went to finish the paper, he had a different motivation . It was his decision to do it, instead of just something he had to do, and that made a huge difference.

Bottom Line: At the end of the day, whether our kids do their homework, or choose to turn it in, is about how invested they are, and how reasonable it is. Start by getting clear on the real challenge before you focus on the goal of turning in homework.

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7 Steps To Motivate Your Child

Children are motivated by three basic psychological needs – autonomy, mastery, and relatedness. Kids are intrinsically motivated when these three needs are met, according to the self-determination theory proposed by psychologists E.L. Deci and R.M. Ryan at the University of Rochester.

There are eight ways and six key factors parents can use to satisfy those needs and motivate their children. Moreover, parents should not punish their children or give financial incentives for their achievements as a way to motivate them.

Here are 8 science-proven ways to help your child develop an internal drive, even for tasks children don’t enjoy initially.

Table of Contents

1. Stop trying to motivate kids the conventional way

Traditional methods of motivating children, such as external rewards and negative consequences, do not produce long-term results.

Researchers have identified two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic.

• Intrinsic motivation leads to doing an activity for its inherent enjoyment.
• Extrinsic motivation leads to doing an activity not for its inherent enjoyment but for a separate outcome.

Intrinsic motivation yields better results, whereas extrinsic motivation often falls short in the long run.

Rewards and punishment can only motivate a child’s behavior extrinsically while reducing the child’s intrinsic motivation.

While rewards or fear of punishment may produce immediate results, these methods also produce a power struggle. Sooner or later, children will stop responding. Research shows that these short-term methods also stifle the intrinsic motivation in your child, if there was any initially, making the problem even worse.

To motivate a child intrinsically for long-term results, stop using conventional methods and instead focus on helping your child develop intrinsic desires.

2. Spark interest and curiosity

Spark your child’s natural curiosity and interest in the task to create intrinsic motivation.

If studying is one of the long-term goals, create a ‘learning-is-fun’ environment. Encourage learning for the sake of acquiring new knowledge rather than focusing on doing homework or getting good grades. You can also inspire curiosity by showing your child different ways to apply school subjects to the real world.

The greatest challenge here is prioritizing your child’s love for learning over your eagerness to see them succeed. Learning is no longer fun when there is pressure to complete school work or get a good grade.

Consider the bigger picture. A child will naturally strive for success when they’re engaged and enjoying the process. You might have to be okay with them not getting the best grades at first because learning, not getting good grades, is the most important thing. Teach your child that the learning experience itself is the best reward.

3. Give children a sense of autonomy and self-determination

Studies have consistently shown that when a child feels a sense of control over their choices, they are more motivated. Some degree of autonomy is necessary for a child to enjoy what they do.

For instance, give children options to choose the extracurricular activity they enjoy. Providing guidance and explaining the pros and cons will be helpful, but your child will need to be able to make their own decisions to feel motivated.

However, given unlimited freedom, children may avoid challenging or tedious tasks like studying or doing chores. This is where the next step becomes critical: building a solid relationship to help them internalize the reasons for those tasks.

4. Strengthen relationships to help children internalize the importance of a task

Children enjoy doing things that matter to people they care about. Studies show that feeling close and connected to others helps kids take these activities to heart because their ties with others are a big reason they’re motivated.

Parents play a crucial role in this. A stronger bond with your child can lead to them listening to you more, adopting your values, and even being motivated by things that are important to you.

Your relationship with your child can be strengthened through using an authoritative parenting style.

Authoritative parents are warm, responsive, and attentive to their children’s needs while setting high but achievable standards and explaining the boundaries. Using reasoning rather than punishment to discipline is also essential in forming trust and a close relationship.

5. Get involved

Getting involved in your child’s activities without being controlling is an effective way to motivate kids. Research shows that parental involvement strongly predicts a child’s academic success.

When you participate in your child’s activities, it conveys the value you place on the activities.

For instance, you can coach or watch your child’s sports games. In school, you can volunteer to help in class. You can read with your child at home to help them form good learning habits.

6. Challenge children just enough

Having feelings of accomplishment is another key to a child’s motivation.

Find the right balance of challenge for your child. Your child can become easily bored if a task or activity is overly simple. On the other hand, if the task is too difficult, feelings of discouragement and self-doubt may start to creep in. 

An optimal challenge is slightly more difficult than a child has already mastered to push them out of their comfort zone, but it is still achievable through practice and hard work.

7. Promote a growth mindset

To help your child learn new things or master a skill, instill the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and effort. This is called the growth mindset.

With a growth mindset, children are intrinsically motivated to embrace challenges, persist through setbacks, and nurture a lifelong joy of learning.

You can foster this positive attitude through the following strategies.

• Praise effort during the process over innate talent. For instance, rather than saying, “Good work,” or “You’re so smart,” try, “I like how you tried several ways to solve the puzzle.” This emphasizes the process over the results.
• Encourage a love of learning by framing setbacks as opportunities, not threats. The journey itself has value.
• Provide constructive and positive feedback focused on potential and improvement, not just failure.
• Use positive reinforcement or big celebration sparingly so they retain significance. If every success is rewarded, the child begins to expect rewards, turning them into external factors that drive extrinsic motivation .

8. Set a mastery goal

Set goals focusing on developing competence or mastering a new skill rather than aiming to win.

Mastery goals prioritize learning for its own sake, while performance goals highlight the importance of achievement.

A study has shown that children with mastery goals have higher self-efficacy, are more likely to persist at challenging tasks, and have a higher intrinsic motivation to learn.

What are the key factors that influence a child’s motivation?

The key factors influencing a child’s intrinsic motivation include a sense of control, self-belief, family dynamics, peer influence, goal orientation, and overall health.

Locus of control : Children tend to be intrinsically motivated when they have a say in their decisions and choices. This is called internal locus of control, which studies find to be correlated with higher motivation.

Self-efficacy : Belief in their abilities to accomplish can increase a child’s confidence and self-motivation. Encouraging a growth mindset can increase a child’s belief in growing their capabilities.

Paren-child relationship : A nurturing and supportive bond can elevate a child’s motivation, especially when parents embody and model motivational attitudes, which children often emulate.

Peer influence : The impact of peers is twofold; they can motivate through social pressure and by fostering a sense of belonging within a group. Positive peer interactions can significantly boost a child’s drive and enthusiasm.

Goal orientation : If a child is genuinely interested in achieving a specific mastery goal, their motivation naturally increases. However, setting goals without underlying interest or desire will not effectively motivate kids.

Physical and emotional well-being : A child’s motivation is also linked to health. Persistent illness or emotional distress can divert their focus and energy, making motivation more challenging.

What is a growth mindset?

A growth mindset is a belief that abilities can be developed through perseverance, dedication, and hard work. It is the understanding that talents and skills are not fixed, but rather can grow through effort. Such a mindset encourages kids to embrace challenges, persist despite setbacks, and see effort as a path to mastery and competence. This approach significantly boosts motivation in children, helping them achieve in school.

Why is intrinsic motivation better?

Studies have shown that when people engage in an activity out of intrinsic motivation, the quality of engagement and the results are better.

In one study at the University of Rochester, researchers asked undergraduate students to read an article and then record their emotions reading it. One week later, they tested the student’s ability to recall the information. Students who found the article interesting or enjoyable scored better than those who didn’t recall and comprehend the data, even after accounting for their differences in verbal aptitude.

How does age affect the motivation levels in children?

Several studies have found that intrinsic motivation levels in children generally decline during adolescence. However, several factors are inversely correlated with the decline. High achievers tend to have less decline in motivation.

A school-wide focus on mastery goals rather than performance goals is associated with less decline in motivation levels.

As children age, the change in motivation levels also varies by subject; motivation for kids notably declines in math but remains relatively stable in social studies.

However, the effect of age on motivation is only limited to children. Other studies have found that motivation levels are stable or increase as adults age.

How does motivation affect a child’s academic success?

Research findings consistently show that intrinsic motivation is associated with better academic success. When a child enjoys learning, they tend to do better in school.

What is the most common mistake when parents try to motivate their children?

One of the most common mistakes parents make when motivating their children is relying on punishment or unnatural consequences. Parents in many cultures have traditionally used fear to motivate, but this strategy is fraught with issues.

Although punishment often generates quick success initially, it creates the wrong kind of motivation – extrinsic motivation. The effectiveness of this fear-based extrinsic motivation will diminish over time. It will eventually stop working, or the punishment will have to increase to severe measures, which can border on abuse. 

This approach can also backfire. Studies have shown that when a controlling factor, such as privilege removal, is introduced, the person’s intrinsic drive decreases and performance declines.

Should you pay your child for good grades?

No, you should not pay your child for earning good grades in school. This practice has two major flaws – one practical and one ethical.

Practically, paying children for academic achievement can undermine their intrinsic motivation to learn. When they expect external compensation for good performance, their inner drive may weaken. By tying money to grades, you risk diminishing your child’s innate love of learning. In addition, this method needs continuous application to be effective. Do you plan on paying your kid for grades throughout their high school and college years?

Ethically, it sets a precedent that monetary compensation is expected for fulfilling personal responsibilities and achievements, which may not align with the values you want to instill in your child.

Do you need more help with motivating your child?

If you want additional tips and a step-by-step plan, the following online course is a great place to start.

It gives you the steps you need to identify motivation issues in your child and the strategy you can apply to help your child build self-motivation and become passionate about learning.

Once you know this science-based strategy, motivating your child becomes easy and stress-free.

How to Motivate Kids When Rules, Consequences, and Rewards Don’t Work

I have put together an online course to help parents implement these motivation steps. Here are the 7 modules to implement the 7 steps of motivating children.

1. How to Start the Transformation

The secret behind this motivation strategy is that it starts with YOUR mindset and expectations. If your mind isn’t in this the right way or has the right expectations, this strategy will not work! Commit to this and stick with it even when things get tough, believing you can ride it out and succeed.

2. The 4 Motivation Strategies

Learn the four essential elements of motivating kids. Then, you will learn the whys and hows to adapt this strategy to your unique situation.

3. How to Avoid Making the Biggest Mistake

Avoiding the loss of motivation is as important as gaining it. You’ll learn to systematically look for and eliminate toxic demotivators from your child’s life.

4. How to Use the Most Important Motivator to Discipline

Adopt the discipline blueprint to create the most important motivator. You’ll learn how to use it to build your child’s internal motivation.

5. How to Use the Most Powerful Motivator to Inspire

Once you learn the most powerful motivator, you’ll be empowered to guide your child and help them develop an unstoppable inner drive to achieve.

6. How to Find the Most Direct Motivator to Achieve Success

Your child’s brain chemistry and learning style can affect how they absorb information. I will teach you how to look for and use it to facilitate your child’s learning.

7. How to Use All the Motivators Together

Put all three motivators together and create the optimal self-drive for your child to reach their potential and succeed.

Help Your Child Reach Their Potential. Enroll Today.

REGULAR PRICE $199

TODAY’S PRICE $79 ( $120 OFF )

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IF, WITHIN 30 DAYS, YOU ARE NOT 100% SATISFIED, I WILL HAPPILY REFUND YOU.

My motivation strategy is battle-tested and science-backed.

But if this isn’t exactly what you need, go through the materials and put some effort into it. If, within 30 days, you don’t feel it is worth what you paid, send me an email for a prompt refund.

Frequently Asked Questions

Hi, I’m Pamela Li . I’m a writer and parenting specialist. I’m also a mom and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Parenting For Brain, a parenting publication with over 2.8M readership. I help parents raise thriving kids.

This course is for parents and caregivers of school-aged children who are not motivated to study from elementary to high school.

The strategies in this course are based on proven science that increases human motivation and should work for kids with different conditions. However, parents and caregivers must still work with corresponding professionals to address those medical concerns even with increased motivation. This course does not provide medical advice.

This course teaches parents and caregivers how to motivate their children. If your child lacks motivation, you and your child will benefit from this course. However, motivation alone cannot overcome medical conditions. Your child will still need professional help to address those issues separately.

Yes, it can. Although every child is different, the strategies in this course are created based on experience and proven science and can be adapted to kids of different temperaments.

We offer a 30-day refund guarantee. Simply send us an email at support @ parentingforbrain.com (remove the spaces before and after @) for a refund.

Results depend on how the strategy is implemented. Parents who have incorporated the techniques in their parenting have seen great results. However, success is not guaranteed if the steps and principles are not followed.

Contact us at support @ parentingforbrain.com (remove the spaces before and after @).

References For How To Motivate Your Child

• 1. Oudeyer PY, Gottlieb J, Lopes M. Intrinsic motivation, curiosity, and learning. Motivation – Theory, Neurobiology and Applications . Published online 2016:257-284. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.pbr.2016.05.005
• 2. Reeve J. A Self-determination Theory Perspective on Student Engagement. Handbook of Research on Student Engagement . Published online 2012:149-172. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-2018-7_7
• 3. Froiland JM. Parental Autonomy Support and Student Learning Goals: A Preliminary Examination of an Intrinsic Motivation Intervention. Child Youth Care Forum . Published online November 3, 2010:135-149. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s10566-010-9126-2
• 4. Guay F, Denault AS, Renauld S. School attachment and relatedness with parents, friends and teachers as predictors of students’ intrinsic and identified regulation. Contemporary Educational Psychology . Published online October 2017:416-428. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cedpsych.2017.10.001
• 5. Fan W, Williams CM. The effects of parental involvement on students’ academic self‐efficacy, engagement and intrinsic motivation. Educational Psychology . Published online December 11, 2009:53-74. doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/01443410903353302
• 6. Froiland JM, Oros E, Smith L, Hirchert T. Intrinsic Motivation to Learn: The Nexus Between Psychological Health and Academic Success. Contemp School Psychol . Published online January 2012:91-100. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/bf03340978
• 7. Ng B. The Neuroscience of Growth Mindset and Intrinsic Motivation. Brain Sciences . Published online January 26, 2018:20. doi:https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci8020020
• 8. Lai ER. Motivation: A literature review. Person Research’s Report . 2011;6:40-41.
• 9. Skinner EA. Perceived control: Motivation, coping, and development. Self-Efficacy . Published online 2014:91-106.
• 10. Gottfried AE, Marcoulides GA, Gottfried AW, Oliver PH, Guerin DW. Multivariate latent change modeling of developmental decline in academic intrinsic math motivation and achievement: Childhood through adolescence. International Journal of Behavioral Development . Published online July 2007:317-327. doi:https://doi.org/10.1177/0165025407077752
• 11. Corpus JH, McClintic-Gilbert MS, Hayenga AO. Within-year changes in children’s intrinsic and extrinsic motivational orientations: Contextual predictors and academic outcomes. Contemporary Educational Psychology . Published online April 2009:154-166. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cedpsych.2009.01.001
• 12. Gottfried AE, Fleming JS, Gottfried AW. Continuity of academic intrinsic motivation from childhood through late adolescence: A longitudinal study. Journal of Educational Psychology . Published online March 2001:3-13. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0663.93.1.3
• 13. Cerasoli CP, Nicklin JM, Ford MT. Intrinsic motivation and extrinsic incentives jointly predict performance: A 40-year meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin . Published online 2014:980-1008. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035661
• 14. Taylor G, Jungert T, Mageau GA, et al. A self-determination theory approach to predicting school achievement over time: the unique role of intrinsic motivation. Contemporary Educational Psychology . Published online October 2014:342-358. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cedpsych.2014.08.002

Disclaimer: The content of this article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for medical concerns.

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Nudge, Don’t Nag: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Well

Nine ways to get your child with adhd to the starting line — and to finally cross over the finish line of assignments, goals, and day-to-day tasks..

“She could do it if she only tried” or “He’s just lazy.” How often have you heard people say this about your child, or thought it yourself? Your child seems capable, yet getting him to do assignments or homework is like having to move mountains.

Attention deficit disorder ( ADHD or ADD ) has been called a disorder of motivation . Some experts believe that ADHD affects motivation more than attention.

The reason children and teens with ADHD have difficulty getting started and completing tasks is neurologically based. ADHD usually involves executive function deficits — not being able to organize one’s thoughts or getting started, for example. In addition, those with ADHD have lower dopamine levels than their neurotypical peers. Dopamine allows us to regulate emotional responses and take action to achieve specific rewards. It’s responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. With ADHD , dopamine is not transmitted efficiently, so a child doesn’t have the motivation to complete tasks.

What can you as a parent do to motivate your child to start assignments, finish homework, and just get stuff done? Here are some simple solutions that have worked for me, as a mom and a teacher:

• Monitor your child’s medication. Medication for ADHD improves neurotransmitter function. Check in with your child’s doctor to be sure the dosage is optimal. Also make sure that the medication is active during times when she needs it for homework and other schoolwork.
• Elevate your child to a decision-maker. We are less motivated when someone else tells us what to do. No one likes to be nagged to start a chore or an assignment. Giving your child a sense of control will encourage him to start and finish a task. Ask your child how long she thinks a task will take, and have her compare the actual time with her prediction. Encourage her to come up with solutions for getting started sooner.

[ Free Webinar Replay: Tips and Tools to Help Your Child Start — and Finish — Homework ]

• Set goals. Research shows that setting goals makes it more likely that they will be achieved. Have your child create a “vision board” at the beginning of the school year. She can cut out pictures from magazines or print photos from websites, and make a collage showing where she wants to go and what she wants to be at the end of that grade or beyond. Ask her to write down one specific observable goal that relates to that vision. The goal should be time-limited—like read 10 pages in a book in one week. Agree on a time for her to report on her progress, so you don’t have to nag her.
• Use “if… then.” There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. We all want our children with ADHD to do something because they are interested in doing it, not just to earn a reward. But until they internalize the pleasure of accomplishment, students with ADHD may get more done with external motivation — namely, rewards. Research has shown that giving material rewards works best with short-term activities, not long-term achievements. Instead of rewarding your child for a good report card, reward him for completing assignments due the next day.
• Make it into a game. Have your child choose his favorite tune, and ask him to practice all of his spelling words before the tune is over.
• Connect uninteresting activities to areas of interest. When my son was in third grade, his teacher told me, “He’s just not interested in learning!” I had observed him since birth and knew that the little boy who tamed butterflies was curious and loved to learn. The subject needed to be interesting to him. If your child is interested in baseball, relate math to sports activities, such as calculating a batting average. If he likes cooking, show him how to use fractions to measure ingredients for a favorite recipe.

[ Free Resource: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement ]

• Keep him moving. Allow your child to stand while working. Punctuate school assignments or other quiet tasks with short movement activities, such as yoga poses or “musical chairs.”
• Be realistic. When your child experiences success, he will want to repeat that experience. Determine how much your child can complete in a given time, and ask him to take that on. When my son was a young teen, I had a list of chores for him to complete that never seemed to get done. I nagged him. Finally, I took a close look at what he could realistically get done. We talked things over and he chose one chore he was willing to do — the laundry. Apparently, that held more intrinsic interest to him than taking out the garbage. Once we determined how often the laundry needed to be done, he took charge. I still had to wash the dishes and take out the trash, but he finally experienced a sense of accomplishment from doing his own laundry, and that translated into future success in school.
• Praise effort over ability. Studies show that students do best when they believe that improvement is due to putting in lots of effort rather than to fixed intelligence or innate ability. When a parent praises a child for doing a task, she is underscoring a child’s control over the task.

SHARI GENT, M.S., NCED, works at Mind Matters Educational Therapy and is an educational therapist in private practice in Fremont, California. You can reach Shari here.

[ How to Motivate (Not De-Moralize) a Student with ADHD ]

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Snuggles, pep talks and love notes: 10 ways to calm your kid’s back-to-school jitters

Becky Harlan

The transition back to school can be overwhelming for kids. Explaining the changes and setting expectations can help them feel more prepared to take on the year. Urbazon/Getty Images hide caption

New teachers, classmates, routines and expectations -- a new school year almost always means change for both kids and their caregivers. And that can be nerve-wracking for everyone.

To help families ease into the transition, Life Kit asked teachers, pediatricians and child development experts for their best back-to-school advice. These tips have been edited for length and clarity.

😴 Adjust your child's summer sleep schedule to a school schedule . At least one or two weeks before school starts, move bedtime and wake-up time up by 15-minute increments every few days until the desired schedule is reached. — Dr. Nilong Vyas , pediatrician and sleep consultant  

📚 Gradually reintroduce structure into a child’s daily routine to help them prepare for school. Add a 15-minute block of educational content to your kid’s routine, such as a read-aloud, math puzzle or science experiment . — Keisha Siriboe , early childhood literacy consultant 

🗯 Remind kids that almost everyone feels a little nervous on the first day of school. Naming and describing an emotion and letting children know you understand how they feel can help them feel more in control over their feelings instead of feeling overwhelmed by them. — Leah Orchinik , pediatric psychologist, Nemours Children's Health

6 ways grown-ups can recreate that fresh, buzzy feeling of a new school year

🗓 To ease a child’s anxiety about going back to school, help them understand what to expect. As Daniel Tiger sings, “When we do something new, let’s talk about what we’ll do.” Remind them that “grown-ups come back” [at the end of the school day] — and they can share their new experiences at school with their loved ones. – Mallory Mbalia , director of learning and education at Fred Rogers Productions , producers of the TV show Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood

❓Talk to your child about how they might handle challenging situations, even if they are not likely to happen. For example, if your son is worried about getting lost in a new school, help him problem solve by creating a plan about what he would do if that did happen so he feels more prepared and confident. —Leah Orchinik, pediatric psychologist, Nemours Children's Health

These Back To School Tips Can Help Parents Support Their Kids This School Year

👋 Make up a special goodbye ritual together. Morning goodbyes can be challenging. But you can create daily memories your child will cherish for years to come. Say, “See you later, alligator! In a while, crocodile!”, do a special handshake or enjoy an extra-long hug. You can also kiss your child’s palm and then hold each other’s hands tightly to “seal it in.” Tell your child to remember they’ll carry your kiss with them all day long, and they can do the same for you! — Jeanette Betancourt , senior vice president of U.S. social impact, Sesame Workshop

☕️ Fill their connection cup before and after school. Even if you're tired in the morning, set that alarm for 15 minutes earlier so you can have a snuggle session with your child. Read a book together. Have breakfast together. When you pick them up from school, be aware they will need another connection cup top-up. Sometimes they will present with this after-school meltdown because they're so depleted. — Vanessa Lapointe , author of Discipline without Damage

🧭 Make sure your child knows how to navigate their world in tech-free ways . Even if your child has a smartphone, make sure they know what to do if they’re approached by a stranger, how to get help for an injury and other street smarts. Help isn’t always a button away. — Leah Plunkett , author of Sharenthood  

💡 Discuss family or classroom conflicts with your child. Have a daily conversation topic such as, “What’s been a good or hard part about your day?” or “What rules do we need to help everyone feel loved and respected?” Then have a weekly discussion to keep things on track and make kids part of problem-solving. — Thomas Lickona , author of How to Raise Kind Kids

📣 Pour positive words of affirmation into your children on a daily basis. For example, “I love you. I’m proud of you. It’s going to be a great day. It's OK to make mistakes.” Parents can leave notes inside their child's lunch boxes. Or I've had parents ask me to write a sticky note on their child's desk for them. These messages allow a kid to feel powerful and confident throughout the day. —Jarod Renford, first grade teacher in Washington, D.C.

The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at (202) 216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

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Teenagers’ motivation dips in high school. But research shows supportive teachers can really help

Scientia Professor and Professor of Educational Psychology, UNSW Sydney

Scientia Associate Professor of Educational Psychology, UNSW Sydney

Disclosure statement

Andrew J. Martin sits on the Advisory Board of Centre for Education Statistics and Evaluation in the New South Wales Department of Education. Funding for the research mentioned in this article was provided by the NSW Department of Education.

Rebecca J. Collie receives funding from the New South Wales Department of Education.

UNSW Sydney provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

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Adolescence is often characterised as a time of “ storm and stress ”.

Young people are dealing with physical and cognitive changes and, as they move from childhood, can become increasingly distant from the adults in their lives.

In academic terms, this time of major hormonal change is also accompanied by a well-known dip in students’ motivation and engagement at school. This often coincides with students’ going to high school.

How can schools better help young people at this time? In a new four-year study we looked at the role of teaching support. We were especially interested to know if teachers’ influence on students’ motivation and engagement grows or fades across the adolescent years.

Read more: Too many Year 9 students are missing school. What can parents and teachers do to keep them engaged?

Our study involved 7,769 Year 6 New South Wales government school students who were tracked annually into Year 9. The students were part of the NSW Department of Education’s annual “Tell Them From Me” student survey .

Students were asked questions about the teaching support they received, as well as questions about their motivation and engagement. They were given a 0–4 point rating scale (strongly disagree to strongly agree).

There were three categories of teaching support:

emotional support : did teachers support and care for students?

instrumental support : did teachers have clear expectations for students and did they make learning content seem relevant?

management support : were there clear rules and routines for the class?

Motivation was measured through students’ academic aspirations about the future and how much they valued school (or saw it as important). Engagement was assessed via students’ perseverance, efforts with homework, making school friends and whether they had any behaviour issues.

In our analysis we also accounted for students’ backgrounds, such as gender, socioeconomic status and prior academic achievement.

Our findings

Our findings confirm there is a decline in students’ motivation and engagement from Year 6 to Year 9 (around 18% in total). This is consistent with the known dip in early- to mid-adolescence.

But we also found in each of these four years, teaching support overall (and each of the three teaching support categories) was significantly associated with students’ motivation and engagement.

That is, more teaching support was linked to greater student aspirations, valuing school, perseverance, homework effort, connections with school friends and less misconduct at school.

Of particular note, we found the link between teaching support and students’ motivation and engagement strengthened each year. For example, teaching support was more strongly linked to students’ motivation and engagement in Year 9 than it was in Year 8. Taken together, between Year 6 and Year 9, there was a 40% increase in the role of teaching support in students’ motivation and engagement.

What this means

This is an empowering finding for teachers because adolescence is typically seen as a time when the influence of adults declines. Our results show students remain within their teacher’s orbit as they move further into adolescence.

What can we do?

Previous research suggests ideas for how teachers can provide emotional support , instructional support , and management support to students, including:

spending time getting to know students

respecting students’ individuality

listening to students’ perspectives

providing emotional encouragement when needed

ensuring content and tasks are interesting and meaningful to students

explaining how schoolwork is useful for other schoolwork, or things outside school (for example, world events or paid work)

having clear, consistent, and logical expectations about classroom behaviour

encouraging student input as classroom rules are developed.

There are also further practical ideas in a NSW Department of Education guide that accompanies our study.

With thanks to Mary Stephan, Anaïd Flesken, Fiona Halcrow and Brianna McCourt from the Centre for Education Statistics and Evaluation, NSW Department of Education. The “Tell Them From Me” survey mentioned in this article is the intellectual property of education resources company, The Learning Bar.

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How to Boost Motivation When You Have ADHD

Effective strategies for tackling ambiguous tasks..

Posted August 3, 2024 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• What Is Motivation?
• Take our Burnout Test
• Find a therapist near me
• Unstructured projects can paralyze people of all ages with ADHD.
• The greatest barrier to initiation is your perception of the task.
• Improve motivation by creating a plan for redirecting focus when it drifts.

Do you have a tough time getting unstructured projects at work or school completed on time? Many people with ADHD can manage smaller tasks that are concrete and uncomplicated. But, when faced with multiple steps or unclear directions, they aren’t sure how to organize things and where to get started. Many of my clients tell me that they feel like ‘professional procrastinators.’ Some folks may pull all-nighters, turning in work bleary-eyed and exhausted in the morning. Others begin something easily only to feel overwhelmed midway through and quit. These patterns create cycles of stress , disappointment and self-criticism that can be defeating and demoralizing.

Overwhelm comes from consistently inconsistent motivation

Living with ADHD means living with consistently inconsistent motivation . In fact, one study found a correlation between inattentive ADHD and procrastination . Another study found that the more substantial the symptoms of ADHD are for somebody, the higher the likelihood there is of experiencing procrastination along with anxiety and depression . When people have ADHD, naturally lower amounts of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain also contribute to inconsistent attention patterns. These typically result in procrastination, overwhelm freeze and task paralysis.

It’s tough for anybody to work up excitement to do an unappealing task. But, with ADHD and the ‘Now/Not now’ brain, it can be even tougher. If somebody with ADHD is interested in a topic, an activity or conversation, they are all in. If not, it’s much harder to work up any enthusiasm. There are two types of motivation: extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic (also known as external) motivation refers to doing something to obtain an outside reward. You renew your license so you can drive: the privilege of driving is your reward. Intrinsic (also known as internal) motivation refers to goals that we set for ourselves. You want to write a good report for your team at work because you feel satisfied and responsible afterward.

Beat the confusion of ambiguous tasks

Unstructured projects—whether they are for work, home or school—can paralyze people of all ages with ADHD. A lack of clarity about what you are supposed to do, how to proceed and where to begin can thwart the best of intentions. Plus, the ambiguity of a task makes organizing materials, planning for time and prioritizing what matters most seem impossible: it’s all just one big shapeless blob. When the pressure of a deadline or the threat of something bad happening creates a crisis mode in your brain and body, you will rush madly to complete something, buoyed by elevated levels of adrenaline and cortisol. Then, depleted and exhausted afterward, people vow to do things differently next time, only to repeat the cycle again.

Improving motivation starts by finding a reason to do something and then clarifying what needs to get done by chopping the blob into smaller parts. Interest fosters motivation, so what can possibly engage you in this task? It might not be the inherent pleasure in completing it and that’s fine. How can you link doing parts of this project to something that matters to you? How can you set up small, earned rewards along the way? What are the components of this task?

Reframe your view of the task

The greatest barrier to initiation is your perception of the task. You may understand the need to do something but lack the interest, skill or focus to do it. Make tasks small enough that beginning them is within your reach. For example, instead of worrying about the entire research project, make it a goal to just work on the intro or hypothesis. Consider how long you can concentrate and for how long: then create work periods based on that information. Build in short and longer breaks, using timers and notes to get you back to what you were doing.

You also don’t have to work alone. Ask a friend or colleague to be a Zoom buddy, body double or accountability partner. These will help you get moving on the task at hand. You don't have to do everything on your own, especially the hard stuff.

Clarify and chunk your tasks

The size of the task affects initiation, a critical element of motivation. If a task seems insurmountable, it’s much more difficult to start it. This is especially true for neurodivergent thinkers. So, break things down into chunks and start small. If you still can’t begin, then the task is still too big. Make it smaller.

One of the challenges of unstructured tasks is the lack of clarity about what they actually entail. Beginning with a brain dump will help you meet this challenge. Once you have everything in a list, you can actually see what’s necessary to do. Then it is possible to arrange items that relate to each other and clarify your goals. This creates a map for you of the general territory of the project. Check in with your boss, a colleague or a professor to make sure you’ve understood and laid an effective foundation.

Next, find something in this list that interests you. Then, armed with one of your goals, decide how long you want to work on it and what your incentive will be. For example, you may like to concentrate for 45 minutes and then want to take a short break and grab a cup of coffee. Leave yourself a note about what you were doing so you can return right to it.

Track your focus

In addition to initiation, focus is another important element of motivation. People with ADHD and chronic difficulties with inattention have some areas where they can pay attention with no problem. They lack attention for uninteresting tasks.

Focus is a dynamic process of what is critical to notice or do. It is the spotlight of your attention. You can improve focus by noticing where it is and where it’s not. If you have a tendency to drift off while working or studying, create a plan for recovering focus when you catch your attention shifting away from the task at hand. It’s often helpful to create a workspace for yourself that lacks distractions, like a quiet room without a TV or other digital temptations. Make it a habit to leave your phone and other devices out of arm’s reach to give yourself the best chance to stay focused on your work.

Growth mindsets nurture motivation

It may take some trial and error to come up with an approach that works well for you. Notice what helps you start and stay engaged. Do more of what works and be kind to yourself if you have to regroup. A growth mindset means trying, evaluating and pivoting without shame or judgment. Start small and pay attention to your successes!

Volkow ND, Wang GJ, Newcorn JH, Kollins SH, Wigal TL, Telang F, Fowler JS, Goldstein RZ, Klein N, Logan J, Wong C, Swanson JM. Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway. Mol Psychiatry. 2011 Nov;16(11):1147-54. doi: 10.1038/mp.2010.97. Epub 2010 Sep 21. PMID: 20856250; PMCID: PMC3010326.

Niermann HC, Scheres A. The relation between procrastination and symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in undergraduate students. Int J Methods Psychiatr Res. 2014 Dec;23(4):411-21. doi: 10.1002/mpr.1440. Epub 2014 Jul 3. PMID: 24992694; PMCID: PMC6878228.

Sharon Saline, Psy.D. , is a clinical psychologist and an expert in how ADHD, LD, and mental health affect children, teens and families. She is the author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew .

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How to Tell if Your Teen Is Using an AI Homework Helper

As students increasingly use AI to complete assignments, experts weigh in on how to spot a teen using an AI homework helper and what steps parents should take.

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In 2022, OpenAI released ChatGPT—a chatbot and virtual assistant that has the ability to complete various tasks instantaneously such as composing emails and essays, explaining difficult concepts and solving math problems . Today, there are hundreds of software companies using Open AI’s technology to create AI homework helpers—which are programs that allow students to access AI technology with ease. Some of these programs require that students only submit a photo of their homework to receive the completed assignment, no prompting required. 

A recent report shows that the number of students using AI has soared exponentially. It found that 46% of students report using AI tools for their school assignments, the most popular choice being ChatGPT.

Below experts weigh in on how to tell if your kid is using an AI homework helper, and the impact AI has on students, teachers, and parents.

Why Students Are Using AI Homework Helpers

Rachel Volk, an 11th grade teacher based in Texas, believes an increasing number of students are using AI to help with their homework because of a combination of its availability/ease of use, and laziness on the student's part. “For some students, the quicker they finish their assignments, the quicker they can do other things on their computer or scroll on their phone ,” she explains.

“It is easier for a student to input their assignment questions into a service like ChatGPT, rather than do the reading to find the answers themselves. Post pandemic, myself—and several of my colleagues—have found students’ reading stamina has decreased dramatically,” she continues.

Kyla McMullen , Associate Professor in the University of Florida’s Computer & Information Sciences & Engineering Department, agrees, voicing that students' attention spans are getting exponentially shorter each year. “Producing high-quality work requires a great amount of time, concentration, and focus,” she says. “In this era of distraction, notifications, and access to quick information, AI is a quick-fix solution for those who will not concentrate long enough to put in the effort to learn the work and complete assignments.”

Some students simply don't see the value of learning the requested information. If they perceive the class’s content as irrelevant to their future aspirations, they think, 'Who cares if I learn this or not? I'll never use it again.' — Rachel Volk

Students are more anxious than ever before, experiencing immense pressure to succeed, which impacts their usage of AI. Volk notes, “Oftentimes, they incorrectly perceive the consequences of getting bad grades as life-altering. It is easier to use an AI tool to ensure that their work is correct rather than to ‘bet on themselves’ and take the chance that the work produced by your own brain is sufficient.”

How Teachers Detect AI Homework Helpers

Teachers agree that it is somewhat easy to detect AI in written work. "As the year goes on, teachers become pretty familiar with the ‘typical’ writing style of each student and understand their typical word/thought patterns when they speak or interact in class. Keeping that in mind, it can be pretty easy to tell if a student's response is AI as it doesn't match how they typically would speak or communicate," Volk says. Furthermore, some teachers at Volk's school require essays to be submitted via software like Turnitin to check for AI and other forms of plagiarism.

Professor McMullen says AI-generated solutions tend to incorporate irrelevant information to answer the question. “Even though many teachers “know it when they see it”, the difficulty with human detection is that it can only be regarded as a subjective opinion.”

Detecting AI Use in Homework

Though AI can sometimes be easy to detect due to its robotic tone, parents and teachers should know that there are 'humanizer' apps teens can use that make AI-generated text sound as though a human produced it. Which can make detection more challenging.

Andrea Forcum , assistant professor of teaching and learning at Indiana State University, says for her it’s easy to tell when kids are using AI. “I had students that were writing at about a 6th grade level suddenly turn in papers that sounded like a robot wrote them—a particularly well-spoken robot.”

“I had one student who turned in a paper that was written extremely well, but clearly was not their writing. So I asked them to tell me what a few of the words meant that they had used. They did not know, so they had to rewrite the assignment,” she recalls.

Why Students Shouldn’t Use AI Homework Helpers

In Volk’s opinion, students using AI to help with their homework decreases their knowledge retention and communication skills. “If a student has AI complete their assignment for them, they will be way less likely to retain the knowledge from a lesson. When students do the reading and craft their own responses, they are significantly more likely to remember big concepts and ideas.”

In terms of communication skills , she thinks that copying and pasting from AI chat responses does not allow students to think critically about what they learned and articulate their knowledge in their own way. “It decreases the students’ vocabulary as when they read, they typically come across unfamiliar words and must use context clues to figure out its definition. This would not happen using AI,” Volk states.

Professor McMullen shares similar sentiments. “Students that use AI to do their work will never learn the actual information. As they advance and move on to harder classes they will lack the foundation to do well in those classes because they never learned the initial information. AI has now become a crutch instead of a tool.”

“In general, students do not learn how to complete the work,” she continues. “They do not develop the critical thinking skills needed to complete assignments. They will not develop the ability to write and articulate their own thoughts. They won’t learn how to analyze and critique the work of others. As such, we end up with incompetent people entering the workforce with degrees that say they have learned certain subjects and developed certain skills, however, they are inept at their occupations.”

For Professor Forcum, it’s more about integrity. “When students use AI without permission from the teacher, it erodes their integrity. Cheating is already a major challenge and AI just makes it so much easier to do.”

Moreover, Professor Forcum says that using AI to answer everything reduces students’ critical thinking if they are not using it appropriately. “One student, for example, turned in an AI prompt answer and didn't even read it. It said in the text that AI was not going to be able to answer since it required a recounting of personal experiences.”

What to Do if Your Kid Is Using AI for Homework

Professor McMullen identifies three key ways parents can spot when their child is using AI to help with their homework:

• Know your child . If you look at their work and it seems like something that is significantly above their previously demonstrated ability or in an unfamiliar tone/voice, this may be a clue that it is AI-generated. However, parents should be cautious as not to place limiting beliefs on their students but instead enquire about how the work was produced from a lens of being impressed by the output. If the student can walk you through their process, then congratulations—they are growing as a student and wrote an assignment. If they cannot explain their work, then you know that it was likely AI-generated.
• Are they over-answering the question? AI generation tools tend to over-answer the question. Oftentimes, if the question requires a one-sentence explanation, the AI tool will give an answer with an unnecessary introduction and conclusion. This is a dead giveaway. Also, since the AI tool is not a student in the class, It does not know what has been covered. As such, it will often incorporate information that has not been covered in class and is beyond the scope of the course.
• Did they do the work too quickly? If the work was completed much quicker than expected, AI generation may have taken place. You can have them write their work in a document that saves time stamps in order to monitor the progress of the work’s development.

Furthermore, she empathizes that for parents, it will be difficult to prevent teens from using AI to do their homework since it is becoming ubiquitous. “It's futile to limit screen time because oftentimes, students need a computer or some other screen to complete their work. They may need word-processing documents to write papers or look up facts on the Internet.”

“As a parent, you can install certain plugins that can be used to block specific websites,” she advises. “This plugin could be used to block ChatGPT and other LLM websites. However, this approach is limited because more common sites, such as Google, are becoming AI-enabled. Another tip could be to perhaps limit Internet time and give students a fixed amount of time to use the Internet to look up concepts and references. However, this plan is not foolproof, given that ChatGPT can render responses in seconds.”

Tips for Getting Homework Help Online

Teens who need help with their homework can use online tools such as YouTube course materials, quiz or flash card generators, or digital tutors. These study methods could help students with the tedious parts of learning without completing the work for them.

Professor McMullen also recommends that parents encourage teens to use YouTube to get help with their homework by looking up videos that explain the covered concepts and selecting a few to watch that break the material down. The CrashCourse channel is a great example of such a resource.

In addition, Professor McMullen suggests showing them how to use AI to help them learn and prepare for examinations. “For example, students can write a prompt that turns ChatGPT into an interactive tutor that can quiz them on any topic. ChatGPT can create flashcards to help them memorize definitions. The possibilities are endless.”

Volk has a different approach for parents—encouraging students to always rewrite concepts in their own words as though they were explaining it to a kindergartener. Her biggest piece of advice is to always ask your child what they are learning about in school. “Take an active interest in your kids' schooling. Asking them what they are learning at school is also a great way to gauge how much knowledge they are retaining from class.”

High School Students’ Use and Impressions of AI Tools . ACT . 2023.

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