what should i do with my life essay

7 Ways to Answer "What Do I Want to Do With My Life?"

Not sure what you want here are some important questions you can ask yourself..

Posted April 26, 2021 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

• Everyone's path to fulfillment in life looks a little different.
• Understanding your core needs and values can help you maximize your happiness.
• Identifying specific activities that are meaningful to you can help you uncover the bigger-picture shape that your life could take.

"What do I want to do with my life?" is a question we all ask ourselves at some point. We wonder: What career do we want? How do we want to spend our time? What really leads to a life worth living?

The answer to what we want to do with our lives depends on a number of things. So let's talk about some of the questions you might ask yourself to find your answer.

1. What makes you happy?

We all want happiness . We want to experience positive emotions and eudaimonia —or meaning in life. So when it comes to figuring out what we really want in life, we might first ask ourselves what makes us happy.

For example, what do we like to do? When are we the happiest? Who are we with when we are the happiest? What goals bring a smile to our faces? Now, what kind of life would help you do these things and feel this way more often?

2. What are your needs?

Next, it can be helpful to ask ourselves which needs are most important to us right now. Now, be careful not to confuse needs with wants. We might want a million dollars, while we might need financial security. We might want the perfect partner, but we might need a partner who loves us and treats us well.

According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, social/love needs and self-esteem needs are of higher priority than self-actualization —or living up to our full potential. Other needs—like competence, autonomy, and relatedness—are also thought to be keys to well-being and living a good life (Reis et al., 2000).

3. What are your values?

Values serve as guiding principles that help us move forward in ways that matter to us (Roccas, Sagiv, Schwartz, & Knafo, 2002). So reflecting on our values can help move us in the right direction. We might value social connection, and that helps us see that what we want in life involves being around others. Or, we might value kindness, and that shows that what we want in life may be a career helping others. By reflecting on your core values , you can better understand what you want.

5. What activities do you get absorbed in?

You know that feeling when you are so absorbed in your work or activities that you lose track of time? That feeling is referred to as flow —or the positive feeling of being totally connected to our performance (Jackson & Marsh, 1996). Flow occurs when we're doing things we really love that are just the right fit for our skill level.

So, what are the activities you get super absorbed in? Knowing the answer to this question can give you clues about what you want in life.

6. What would you do if you could do anything in life?

I don't like to get people's hopes and expectations up too much—the truth is we won't be able to reach every wildest dream we might think up. But on the flip side, we often place limits on our own potential that don't need to be there. So, taking the time to at least acknowledge what you really want can help you think about ways to move in that general direction.

7. What is the gestalt of your life?

Gestalt is German for "pattern," "shape," or "configuration." In psychology, gestalt refers to the idea of a sort of picture—the different parts produce a whole. In life, we often focus a lot on the little things we might want to change—the job, the house, the car—without focusing as much on the overall picture of our lives. So when thinking about what we want in life, we may benefit from taking a step back.

So ask yourself, what kind of life do you want to lead? What kind of feelings does this life have? How will the pieces fit together? What does it look like when you look in it from the outside? Asking these questions can hopefully help you understand more about what you want in life.

This post was adapted from an article published by The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Reis, H. T., Sheldon, K. M., Gable, S. L., Roscoe, J., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Daily well-being: The role of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Personality and social psychology bulletin, 26(4), 419-435.

​Roccas, S., Sagiv, L., Schwartz, S. H., & Knafo, A. (2002). The big five personality factors and personal values. Personality and social psychology bulletin, 28(6), 789-801.

Jackson, S. A., & Marsh, H. W. (1996). Development and validation of a scale to measure optimal experience: The Flow State Scale. Journal of sport and exercise psychology, 18(1), 17-35.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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“What Should I Do with My Life?” by Po Bronson Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
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It took Po Bronson a lot of courage to address the question, ‘What should I do with my life?’ by asking more than 900 people the same question. Unfortunately, not one person mentions in his or her story that one can avoid doubt or challenges in making certain choices whose ultimate goal is happiness. Bronson’s book highlights stories of ordinary people who have had to make tough choices in life, and some have succeeded while others have not.

In this essay, I seek to explore my life experiences, which reflect Ana Miyares’ (The Umbrella of Freedom) and Ali’s (An Ordinary Guy) stories. In the long run, it will become apparent that happiness comes at a price.

At the beginning of the book, one encounters Ali’s story (An Ordinary Guy) in which he is said to have received a letter from Dalai Lama at his school. The letter stated that Ali was not an ordinary guy, but a reincarnation of a warrior from six lifetimes ago. As a result, he was expected to attend a Monastery in Bombay. In the process, Ali spent 12 years studying ancient texts, and people worshiped him while others had more faith in him than he had in himself.

In 1998, Dalai Lama chose him to lead a tour of monks across the United States, a mission that changed him completely. However, despite changing in many aspects, Ali wanted to go back to America where according to him, “not everyone treats him like a divine being” (Bronson 7). When he went back to America, Ali started the Bodhiheart Foundation with a woman who made him regret being part of it for many reasons. As a result, Ali left the foundation because his partner was controlling his schedule, and thus, leaving the foundation was the best thing he felt he could manage to do. When Bronson asked Ali if he did not like it when people control him, he emphatically says, “That is right”, which suggests that the main reason he left the foundation is because of the external pressure from his partner (Bronson 7-9).

Ali’s story reminds me of my childhood life, which was dramatic and eventful. To begin with, my parents separated when I was ten years after which my father married another woman who became my stepmother. My experience with my second mother was not one of the best because I enjoyed being with my biological mother more than my stepmother. Because of the unpleasant experience I had with my stepmother, I made up my mind to move in with my grandparents when I turned 16.

The assumption here was that by moving in with my grandparents, I would avoid being controlled and feel more independent and free just like Ali did. However, I had to contend with the feeling of leaving my seemingly understanding father, brother, and sister behind to achieve my goals. On the other hand, there is a moment in Ali’s story, which reminds me exactly of what I was feeling every day before I decided to move out of my stepmother’s house.

That is, I could not stand the way she was controlling every aspect of my life including the fact that she could monitor my private activities by hiding recorders in my room just to listen to what I had to say about her. And just as Ali told Bronson that he felt more grounded when there was no one dictating his every move, I also thought that the move I had made allowed me to improve myself by learning from my mistakes.

In the same way, Ana Miyares’ story (The Umbrella of Freedom) reflects my life experiences in many ways. Hers is a story about how she left the life of a banker who made a lot of money to do what made her happy. According to Ana, “if you do not need money, it cannot control you”, and for sure money did not matter much to her since she shifted from a high paying job to another one where she was given about $17,000 after taxation (Bronson 78-82).

The most important thing is that she was not interested in the financial aspects of her job, but instead, she chose to pursue happiness despite encountering many challenges. For instance, her family was made up of successful bankers from Cuba, and thus they wanted her to follow in their footsteps, but instead, she took a different direction and made her way. This resulted in her family shunning her since she mentions to Bronson, “I am lonely but I am happy” (Bronson 82). She lost the support and love of her family but found happiness in the end.

Ana’s feeling of loneliness after falling out with her family applies to my story as well. After choosing to move in with my grandparents, I had to sacrifice being able to see my immediate family every day to realize my happiness. Sometimes, it felt like there was a barrier, which made it very difficult for me, my father, and my siblings to get used to staying away from each other. However, just as Ana posits, “Happiness comes at the expense of the ones we love”, and sometimes people need to make decisions that will produce better results in the long run despite the inherent challenges (Bronson 84).

In my case, I must admit that moving out of my stepmother’s house was the best result that I could get because life at my grandparents’ place changed many aspects of my life. For example, I could act independently in addition to having the most loving and supportive family (grandparents). Moreover, my grandparents knew how to respect my private life while ensuring that I did not evade my responsibilities as a student, son, and brother to my family.

Overall, both Ana’s and Ali’s stories inspired me a lot because I understand how it feels like being lonely after making a tough decision, which entails sacrificing the people you love for the sake of your happiness. Conversely, I know what it feels like to be controlled by an external force. However, the decision I had made influenced different aspects of my life more than I ever thought it would, however, in a positive way.

It is amazing to see how stressful moments can change people’s lives, and by overcoming stress, I was able to mature and grow as an independent person. The most important thing is that the entire experience including having to put up with my stepmother for many years and then being able to move out and be my decision-maker played a major role in shaping the person I am today. In the long run, I have learned not to let some less important issues bother me.

Additionally, I have experienced the significance of remaining calm when under stress or pressure from other people. It is imperative to note that many people fail to realize that one can learn from a seemingly negative experience just as much as one can learn from a positive one. The bottom line is that you just need to figure out what you want to take away from that experience and what you want to leave behind.

Bronson, Po. What should I do with my life?: the true story of people who answered the ultimate question. New York: Random House Publishing Group, 2005. Print.

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IvyPanda. (2021, January 30). "What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson. https://ivypanda.com/essays/what-should-i-do-with-my-life-by-po-bronson/

""What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson." IvyPanda , 30 Jan. 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/what-should-i-do-with-my-life-by-po-bronson/.

IvyPanda . (2021) '"What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson'. 30 January.

IvyPanda . 2021. ""What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson." January 30, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/what-should-i-do-with-my-life-by-po-bronson/.

1. IvyPanda . ""What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson." January 30, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/what-should-i-do-with-my-life-by-po-bronson/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . ""What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson." January 30, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/what-should-i-do-with-my-life-by-po-bronson/.

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What Do You Want to Do With Your Life? Essay Example

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Words: 1083

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From the time I was very young I was interested in music. Actually, this was more than just interest; I was fascinated by rhythm, melody, and sound. One of my earliest memories is of a gift my grandmother gave to me. It was a tiny wooden drum with a rubber drumhead stretched over it. It came with a small wooden mallet for striking the drum, but I usually just used my hands to tap out rhythms. I also heard rhythms and melodies in the sounds of the world around me. If I was near a stream, the water running over the rocks would form musical notes, and the rhythm of the movement would sound like the heartbeat of nature. As I got older I began to play the piano, and I was naturally adept at learning to play songs that were considered to be too challenging for most children my age. Although my immediate family did not include any musicians, I found that they encouraged my interests. I was provided with private piano lessons when I was in primary school, and the school also had music classes. I was placed in music classes that included students that were mostly older than I was, because I had skills that surpassed most of the students my own age.

This continued for years, as I made my way through secondary school and into upper-level classes. I also found myself learning to play other instruments, including the saxophone, and in high school I began to learn symphonic percussion. As I look back on those times I can see that I had a greater natural ability than many people, and it came to me fairly easy to learn to play these different instruments. I never got as good on the wind instruments as I was on piano, but I still enjoyed playing them, and I also found great joy in playing percussion. By the time I was a teenager I began to develop an interest in popular music like rock and rap music. Because of this I started to play guitar and drum set, and I also started using computer software to create drum beats for hiphop and rap songs. I began to imagine that someday I would be3come a professional musician, and also a music producer. It was a dream of mine to learn how to make songs and records, instead of just knowing how to play instruments.

I never really left this dream behind entirely, but by the time I completed high school I began to face the reality that it was not likely I would become a music producer. I started to consider what kind of future I would have if I did not learn any useful skills, and I was also convinced by my parents that I should learn how to conduct myself in the business world. My family had been owners and operators of business going back many generations, even when that was difficult because of the economic, social, and political conditions they lived through. There was no one in my family that had ever pursued a dream like becoming a musician or an actor, and it was clear to me that my family would only support and encourage me if I pursued an education that would prepare me for the real world as they saw it. With that in mind I determined that I should acquire a broad education in various disciplines and fields to prepare me for life in the modern world, and that I should also emphasize courses related to business so that I could have a successful and financially secure future.

I came to the United States solely for the purpose of attending school, and because I and my family felt the best educational opportunities would be available here. It is possible that I will return to my native country in the future, and it is also common for students from my generation to attend school overseas before returning home. We live in the age of globalization, and I believe it is important to gain an education that also teaches me how to function in different cultures and to learn about the world outside my homeland. I did decide to attend college primarily because that is what is expected of me by my family, but that does not mean that I do not wish to be here. I am grateful for the opportunity to attend school here, because I know that this is a privilege and opportunity that many people do not have. Just because I did not follow my dream of being a musician does not mean I am unhappy about the way my life is going, because getting a good education has also been a motivating force for me.

It is an interesting question to ask whether I will remain committed to my field of study or lose interest, as I do not see those possibilities as being real options.  I was raised to believe and understand that a commitment is a commitment, and when someone sets out to do something, and makes a promise to do it, then that promise cannot be broken. Getting a business education and having a career in some form of management position may not be a driving passion the way music is, but I understand that life is not always a matter of pursuing dreams. I know that I have a responsibility to myself and my family to follow through with my commitments and to honor my good fortune I life by doing my best. Giving up is simply not a choice for me.

I may not be able to immediately find the kind of work I want the moment I graduate, but I am confident that with hard work and dedication I will certainly gain good employment. I have the drive and the focus to start at the bottom of an organization and work my way up, and I will not be satisfied with simply staying at the bottom. I also believe in handling my responsibilities, so it does not matter to me if I have to work in a different job while I look for employment in my field. I can wait tables or tend bar, or work in some other field that will allow me to pay my bills and support myself while I look for a job, but I also believe that I will do well in school and will be a good candidate for many companies by the time I graduate.

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39 Keys To Find Out What To Do With Your Life

Whether you're 16 or 60, or any age for that matter, you will bump up against this question at some point: “What should I do with my life?”

There's nothing quite so daunting as asking yourself this question only to see a vast emptiness ahead of you.

How do you know what to do when you have no idea where you're going?

Even if you're gainfully employed in a respectable career, you might still be frustrated and think, “I don't know what to do with my life.”

Is It Okay Not to Know What You Want to Do in Life?

1. harness a passion., 2. consider what motives you., 3. think about a purpose., 4. recognize you aren't alone., 5. define your core values., 6. assess your current life., 7. define the skills you enjoy., 8. get clear on your personality type., 9. pool your information., 10. research your ideas., 11. determine what you're missing., 12. review your finances., 13. take action on something., 14. enjoy the process., 15. remain open to possibilities., 16. let go of limiting thoughts., 17. address current problems before jumping ship., 18. do things that make you uncomfortable., 19. put in the work., 20. know the sacrifices you can tolerate., 21. what do you feel most proud of, 22. if money wasn't an issue, what would you do, 23. what do you not want to do, 24. listen to like-minded people., 25. expand your range of possibilities., 26. look for success stories., 27. don't let the search overwhelm you., 28. define your own success., 29. find a community that inspires you., 30. what do you wish you could tell people you do, 31. think about what challenges you., 32. stop doing what you're doing., 33. what will make you feel appreciated, 34. have patience during your search., 35. start with a small step., 36. who are the people you admire, 37. believe in yourself., 38. develop your personal brand., 39. don't give up..

• Still not sure what to do with your life?

I Don't Know What to Do with My Life: 39 Steps to Clarity

When you feel this way, and the answer isn't obvious (or it seems too difficult to figure it out), it's tempting to distract yourself with trivialities and time fillers.

You try to fill the emptiness with something that doesn't force you to think about what you're not doing and what you're not achieving.

You know you need to get a life, but you just don't have it in you to shake things up.

Figuring out what to do in life isn't rocket science, but it does require patience and curiosity. Follow these steps, and you'll have a much better idea of where you want your life to go.

Regardless of your age or situation, you are at a crossroads without a sign to guide you. That's why it's so valuable to start with the question, “What do I want to do with my life?”

Once you discover what you love to do , you will find the motivation and momentum to wake up each morning eager and ready to start your day.

But how are you supposed to know the thing you love doing if you have no idea what it is?

Commit to the search and have a positive attitude about finding what you love. Try the following:

• Take some assessment tests to find your strengths and interests.
• Talk to other people who have jobs that fascinate or inspire you.
• Decide if your hobby or interest could somehow be turned into a career.
• Take a course on finding your passion to help you figure it out.

Once you find what you want to do, it will be easier to focus on the possible things you can do with your life.

If you aren't sure what you feel passionate about, you likely know what motivates you. Do you want happiness? Creativity? Productivity? Freedom? All of the above?

Maybe you're stuck on, “What should I do for a career to feel deeply fulfilled?”

There are a lot of things that people want out of life, but to obtain them, you have to know what you value and then spend your time in a career or create a lifestyle that supports your values.

For example, if you want to do meaningful work and have a passion for helping other people, find a way to earn a living by serving others.

It is easy to suffer from inner turmoil if you feel purposeless. If you are trying to discover your path, it is important to keep the following things in mind:

• Stop thinking about it and take action instead. Get out there and try different things to see if they give you a sense of purpose.
• Figure out what inspires you and fulfills you, even if it doesn't fit into a traditional career mold.
• Let go of the idea that you only have one purpose. The truth is, you may have multiple purposes in life .

Take a deep breath and realize you aren't alone and this feeling isn't abnormal.

You might look around you and think everyone else knows exactly what they're doing and that you're the only person in the world who feels confused and directionless. But that simply isn't true.

The majority of people find themselves at this crossroads in at some point in their lives. Nothing remains static.

Our values, interests, and life circumstances are constantly shifting, and with those shifts comes the inevitable restlessness and need to forge a new path.

Remain confident in your own good judgment and problem-solving abilities.

Your values are your guiding principles and the areas of your life that are most important to you. What you want to do with your life should reflect and support your core values.

If you spend your time pursuing things that don't support your core values, you'll eventually feel restless and unhappy.

If you don't know your values, take a look at this list of value words to help you out. Pick 5-10 value words for both your personal and professional life.

You might have a hard time narrowing down the list, but you'll see you may choose words that are very similar. Pick those that are non-negotiable for you and write them down.

Once you have your values defined, compare your current lifestyle and career to your values.

• Where are you living in misalignment with your values?
• Are there any important values that aren't expressed at all in your life?
• Are there any immediate changes you could make to better live your values?

For example, if one of your values is creativity, what are you doing now to express creativity? If you are doing very little, how can you add more creativity into your daily life or work?

This may not solve your bigger question about what to do with your life, but it does reflect what you want and need more of in your life. This awareness helps you refine any future decisions or actions.

Everyone has skills, and these shouldn't be limited to the skills you've learned in school or on the job.

You may have innate skills in leadership, communication, compassion, writing, problem-solving, etc. Think about all of the skills you have learned, as well as some of your natural skills.

You may need to ask someone close to you to reflect back what they see as your natural skills. You might take some of these natural skills for granted and assume everyone has them. 

This list of personality traits might help you define some of your natural aptitudes.

Write a list of all of your skills, and then go back through the list and circle the ones you find the most enjoyable, fulfilling, and interesting. You may have skills you don't find enjoyable at all, and you don't want to focus on those.

Once you have a list of skills you enjoy, go back again and circle the skills that support your core values.

If you've never take a personality test, like the Myers Briggs personality assessment, I strongly recommend you do. It gives you a much better understanding of your motivations, aptitudes, and strengths.

Just seeing this information (along with a description of your type and the careers and endeavors best suited to you) is really helpful.

This free assessment is a good one to try. Once you get your four-letter type, do some research online to read more about your type.

Make notes about career suggestions, any information that resonates with you, and any ideas that intrigue or excite you.

On a separate sheet of paper, write down your core values, your favorite skills, and any ideas you gleaned from your personality type. Look for patterns and overlaps in the information in front of you.

When I did this exercise, I saw that my values of service, creativity, and autonomy could be supported by my favorite skills in communication, writing, listening, and organizing.

I also saw how the careers of counseling, coaching, and teaching that were suggested in my personality type could work with both my values and my skills.

This step is really important because it helps you narrow the field of possibilities and makes you focus in a particular direction.

Start researching some of the ideas that are forming. You can Google great careers for your personality type. You can also research “careers that require XYZ skills” or “careers for people who like to XYZ.”

If you don't know if a career move is your next step, then look for volunteer opportunities or hobbies in the areas you are researching.

As you make a list of possibilities (for either a career or other endeavor), then do separate research to discover more about the specific responsibilities, education, knowledge, and skills involved for each possibility.

In your research, you may decide you need more training or education. You might discover you need to buff up your existing skills or gain more hands-on experience. Do your research on exactly what's involved in getting up to speed.

When I was going through this process, I learned I needed more education for either a career in counseling or coaching.

Take into consideration your particular lifestyle, family obligations, and available time to help you narrow down the field of possibilities.

Whether you decide to start over in your career, go back to school, or travel the world, you'll need money to pursue your next phase of life. Maybe you already have plenty of savings set aside, and this isn't an issue for you.

But most of us need to plan financially for any significant life changes. Even if you aren't sure yet what your next steps might be, start setting aside money so you will be prepared when the time comes.

Try to build up a savings of six months to a year's worth of income. Don't let a lack of money hold you back from creating a future that is passionate and rewarding.

You'll never know for sure whether or not you've found what you want to do with your life until you give something a try. Use all of the information you've gleaned to take the next most obvious step, even if you're unsure.

Experimenting like this might feel like a waste of time, but it's the only way to gain clarity. Even if you discover you're on the wrong path, your efforts aren't in vain. Everything you try gives you information for the next action you take.

Have faith in the intelligence you've gathered from the previous steps, and keep putting your toe in the water of various possibilities until one “feels” right.

You really do need to feel your way forward, always measuring your actions against your values.

When you are in that stuck place of not knowing, you feel despondent and directionless. But once you begin to take action to figure it out, you become more energized and hopeful.

You may not have complete certainty for a while, but you know you're moving in the right direction.

Try to see the process of figuring it out as your passion for the time being. During this time of exploration, your job and mission in life are to explore and discover. Rather than seeing this time as purgatory, envision it as a grand adventure instead.

As you work toward knowing what to do with your life, you'll encounter many opportunities and possibilities. You may think you're headed down one path, only to see an enticing detour that leads to another.

Allow yourself to open all doors and take many detours. You never know where they will take you.

I thought my future career was just in coaching. But as I became a coach, I also discovered that I had a passion for blogging and writing . This created a new opportunity I never considered when I first began my search. Life is full of surprises.

Are you stuck in a career you hate but feel you can't afford to leave it? Maybe you have hit midlife and figure you are too old to start over.

You may have limiting beliefs that are thwarting your efforts at discovering what you want. Don't let these limiting beliefs hold you back and become your excuses for not making a change. You can change your thoughts to support your goals.

Whatever fears and anxieties you are clutching on to (I am too old, I don't have time, I can't go back to school), acknowledge that they aren't necessarily true. They aren't insurmountable if you give yourself permission to challenge them.

Maybe you don't need a new job after all but rather some changes in your current one. Is there any way that you could love your job if just a few things were different?

Think about what's holding you back from being satisfied in your current position. Then make sure these are not things you can change before you decide to move on.

You don't want to find yourself facing the same problems in your next career that you are facing now.

Be sure it's the nature of your job or some unchangeable aspect of it (like an unscrupulous boss or a toxic environment) that you want to leave, not something that can be corrected or that is an inevitable part of any job.

If you have stayed in a job you dislike for a long time, it may be because you're comfortable and there's little risk associated with staying put.

Be willing to take chances and face failure to live the life you want. Learn to get more comfortable with discomfort, recognizing that any positive change requires some amount of risk.

You can mitigate your risk if you work to help ensure you are financially stable before you leave your current job.

Chasing your dreams might require going back to school to get another degree or working your way back up from the bottom of the professional food chain.

You have to be willing to put in the hard work to get what you ultimately want. But in the big picture of your life, this work is such a small amount of time compared to the life-long reward of doing what you want in life.

Everything you do involves some sort of sacrifice. You have to know your limits and the sacrifices you can tolerate to get what you want.

Are you willing to give up time with your family for a career? Are you willing to accept a lower salary? Define what you will and won't tolerate before jumping into something new.

Think about the things in your life that make you the proudest and that were fulfilling.

Then think about how you can emulate those experiences and use them for a career or avocation.

Brainstorm ways to leverage these previous accomplishments and skills into something that will work with your current career or lifestyle goals.

How would you choose to spend your time?

Answering this question can help you figure out what you really want to do. It can also help you set goals and create your path to happiness.

It's easy to say, “I want to do this” when you land on something that feels right. But a critical part of figuring out what you want is figuring out what you don’t want to do.

What about your current job or lifestyle do you strongly dislike? What is making you feel frustrated, undervalued, unmotivated, or bored?

Make a list of these things so you can measure any future career or life change considerations against them to ensure you don't invite them back into your life.

Hang out with other people who are doing some of the things intrigue you. They can help you know how to figure out what you want in life.

Ask them questions and invite them to talk about how they made decisions and took action to get to the place where they are now.

If you listen when others are talking, you can learn their motivations, hopes, and ambitions.

People enjoy talking about the things they love, and not only will you learn their methods, but also you'll be inspired by their enthusiasm and passion.

Remember, you are looking for what you want to do with your life — not what your parents want you to do or what think you “should” do.

Look beyond the obvious choices or the occupations in which you have skill and experience.

It can feel daunting to consider starting over with something new no matter how intriguing it is, and we often dismiss our ideas or dreams before we fully investigate them.

But give your dreams the chance to flourish by exploring them fully and knowing what it might take to make them real.

You are not the first, nor will you be the last person to want to make a change in your life.

Whether your change is mild or dramatic, you have to know that many people have made changes and ended up living much happier lives.

Many people have been late bloomers, finding what they want in life in their 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond.

All too often people get stressed out when trying to figure out what they should do with their life.

The process then turns into a heavy burden that can deter you from finding your path. Relax — it will come to you if you keep searching.

What does success look like to you? Is it all about money? Is it about prestige? Or do fulfillment and passion trump these?

You likely have been influenced by messages from other people about what success means, but your view of success doesn't have to conform.

Revisiting your core values can help you figure out your own definition of success.

The people you spend the most time with, often your co-workers, become your second family. Do these people inspire and motivate you?

Do you respect them and enjoy being around them? If not, you need to surround yourself with different people.

This might require changing jobs or looking at a different career. But this change is a short-term discomfort compared to years spent around people who drain or frustrate you.

When you meet new people, what do you wish you could say when asked what you do?

What answers have intrigued you in the past when other people answer this question?

Use these insights as guidance to figure out what you are meant to do with your life.

If you are not challenged in your life, you can become bored and complacent.

It's hard to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but challenging yourself to try something new, attain a new skill, or take the more difficult (but potentially rewarding) path is an excellent way to re-engage with life.

If you are trying to figure out what you should do with your life, then it's pretty clear that whatever you are doing now isn't working.

Instead of spending any more time doing what isn't working, make it your full-time job to find a better path for yourself.

If you can't afford to step back completely, try to cut back so you have room to focus on your search.

Everyone wants to feel appreciated for the work they do. Being acknowledged for our contributions is the sustenance all of us need to thrive.

If you don't feel appreciated now, what needs to change so you can get that need met? Where can you find the recognition and support you need to feel good about what you are doing?

One misconception about discovering what you want to do with your life is that you'll have a sudden moment of clarity that will spell it out for you.

The truth is, the only way you can know for certain if you are choosing the right path is to start walking it.

Use the clues and knowledge you've gathered about yourself , your life goals, and your values to make the best decision you can.

Then you have to take action and try something. If you discover it's not right for you, you haven't wasted your time. You've learned more information about what does and doesn't work for you.

The simple act of doing something, no matter how small it is, will get the momentum going and motivate you to take the next step and the next.

Start small, make one phone call, read one book about the subject that you might want to pursue, or sign up for a class.

Following the path of people you respect and admire can help you learn from them and emulate their best qualities.

You've heard that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so make sure that you are spending your time with like-minded people who reflect your values and goals.

You have to honestly believe that you can do the things that you want to do. Know that you have what it takes to make the changes you need to make.

If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Once you are able to face your fears, you will see that they aren't so scary after all.

Even if you feel insecure, keep taking small actions to figure out what you are meant to do with your life. The more actions you take, the more confident you'll feel.

What do you have to offer other people? Why would someone want to invest their time and money in you?

It is important to have answers to these questions at the front of your mind so you can articulate them when opportunities arise.

Rehearse your personal “sales pitch” so you're comfortable talking enthusiastically and confidently about how you can make a difference to a person or organization.

It's hard to figure out what you should do with your life when you have no clue or when you feel stuck because of finances or life commitments.

But figuring this out is the most important endeavor you'll ever undertake. If you know you need a change but just give in to hopelessness or fear, you're settling for mediocrity, boredom, and unhappiness.

You may not find what you're looking for right away, but don't give up looking. Keep exploring, questioning, and trying out ideas.

Not only is it okay, but it's pretty darn common. Most people question what they are doing more than once in their lives.

So many people lose touch with who and what they want to be because they've been so busy doing what they think they're supposed to do — only to find themselves unfulfilled and bored.

They feel empty and without purpose , going through the motions just to keep the paychecks rolling in.

Eventually, though, the emptiness becomes too much, and you have to take action before you fall into complete despair.

• Maybe you're in a job that doesn't inspire you.
• You might be just starting out in the workforce, but you have no idea what you want to do.
• Maybe you're about to become an empty nester or nearing retirement , and the years ahead look confusing and desolate.

The obvious question you're likely wondering is, “How do I figure out what I want to do with my life?”

Well, we're here to offer more clarity as you work to answer this question.

Final Thoughts

Rather than spending too much time in your head, thinking, “What do I do with my life?” become a detective whose mission it is to figure it out.

• Learn as much as you can about yourself.
• Do what needs to be done to prepare financially and personally for your next steps.
• Take action every single day to move forward.

Before you know it, you'll be living the life you've created for yourself, based on your passions, values, skills, and research.

Have faith in the process and confidence in your judgment, even if you make the “wrong” choice at first. Every choice you make will ultimately lead you to the answer.

Essays About Life: Top 5 Examples Plus 7 Prompts

Life envelops various meanings; if you are writing essays about life, discover our comprehensive guide with examples and prompts to help you with your essay.

What is life? You can ask anyone; I assure you, no two people will have the same answer. How we define life relies on our beliefs and priorities. One can say that life is the capacity for growth or the time between birth and death. Others can share that life is the constant pursuit of purpose and fulfillment. Life is a broad topic that inspires scholars, poets, and many others. It stimulates discussions that encourage diverse perspectives and interpretations. 

5 Essay Examples

1. essay on life by anonymous on toppr.com, 2. the theme of life, existence and consciousness by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 3. compassion can save life by anonymous on papersowl.com, 4. a life of consumption vs. a life of self-realization by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 5. you only live once: a motto for life by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 1. what is the true meaning of life, 2. my life purpose, 3. what makes life special, 4. how to appreciate life, 5. books about life, 6. how to live a healthy life, 7. my idea of a perfect life.

“…quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self.”

The author defines life as something that differentiates man from inorganic matter. It’s an aspect that processes and examines a person’s actions that develop through growth. For some, life is a pain because of failures and struggles, but it’s temporary. For the writer, life’s challenges help us move forward, be strong, and live to the fullest. You can also check out these essays about utopia .

“… Kafka defines the dangers of depending on art for life. The hunger artist expresses his dissatisfaction with the world by using himself and not an external canvas to create his artwork, forcing a lack of separation between the artist and his art. Therefore, instead of the art depending on the audience, the artist depends on the audience, meaning when the audience’s appreciation for work dwindles, their appreciation for the artist diminishes as well, leading to the hunger artist’s death.”

The essay talks about “ A Hunger Artist ” by Franz Kafka, who describes his views on life through art. The author analyzes Kafka’s fictional main character and his anxieties and frustrations about life and the world. This perception shows how much he suffered as an artist and how unhappy he was. Through the essay, the writer effectively explains Kafka’s conclusion that artists’ survival should not depend on their art.

“Compassion is that feeling that we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives. When we know that there is someone that really cares for us. Compassion comes from that moment when we can see the world through another person’s eyes.”

The author is a nurse who believes that to be professional, they need to be compassionate and treat their patients with respect, empathy, and dignity. One can show compassion through small actions such as talking and listening to patients’ grievances. In conclusion, compassion can save a person’s life by accepting everyone regardless of race, gender, etc.

“… A life of self-realization is more preferable and beneficial in comparison with a life on consumption. At the same time, this statement may be objected as person’s consumption leads to his or her happiness.”

The author examines Jon Elster’s theory to find out what makes a person happy and what people should think and feel about their material belongings. The essay mentions a list of common activities that make us feel happy and satisfied, such as buying new things. The writer explains that Elster’s statement about the prevalence of self-realization in consumption will always trigger intense debate.

“Appreciate the moment you’ve been given and appreciate the people you’ve been given to spend it with, because no matter how beautiful or tragic a moment is, it always ends. So hold on a little tighter, smile a little bigger, cry a little harder, laugh a little louder, forgive a little quicker, and love a whole lot deeper because these are the moments you will remember when you’re old and wishing you could rewind time.”

This essay explains that some things and events only happen once in a person’s life. The author encourages teenagers to enjoy the little things in their life and do what they love as much as they can. When they turn into adults, they will no longer have the luxury to do whatever they want.

The author suggests doing something meaningful as a stress reliever, trusting people, refusing to give up on the things that make you happy, and dying with beautiful memories. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers .

7 Prompts for Essays About Life

Life encompasses many values and depends on one’s perception. For most, life is about reaching achievements to make themselves feel alive. Use this prompt to compile different meanings of life and provide a background on why a person defines life as they do.

Take Joseph Campbell’s, “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning, and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer,” for example. This quote pertains to his belief that an individual is responsible for giving life meaning. 

For this prompt, share with your readers your current purpose in life. It can be as simple as helping your siblings graduate or something grand, such as changing a national law to make a better world. You can ask others about their life purpose to include in your essay and give your opinion on why your answers are different or similar.

Life is a fascinating subject, as each person has a unique concept. How someone lives depends on many factors, such as opportunities, upbringing, and philosophies. All of these elements affect what we consider “special.”

Share what you think makes life special. For instance, talk about your relationships, such as your close-knit family or best friends. Write about the times when you thought life was worth living. You might also be interested in these essays about yourself .

Life in itself is a gift. However, most of us follow a routine of “wake up, work (or study), sleep, repeat.” Our constant need to survive makes us take things for granted. When we endlessly repeat a routine, life becomes mundane. For this prompt, offer tips on how to avoid a monotonous life, such as keeping a gratitude journal or traveling.

Many literary pieces use life as their subject. If you have a favorite book about life, recommend it to your readers by summarizing the content and sharing how the book influenced your outlook on life. You can suggest more than one book and explain why everyone should read them.

For example, Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” reminds its readers to live in the moment and never fear failure.

To be healthy doesn’t only pertain to our physical condition. It also refers to our mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. To live a happy and full life, individuals must strive to be healthy in all areas. For this prompt, list ways to achieve a healthy life. Section your essay and present activities to improve health, such as eating healthy foods, talking with friends, etc.

No one has a perfect life, but describe what it’ll be like if you do. Start with the material things, such as your house, clothes, etc. Then, move to how you connect with others. In your conclusion, answer whether you’re willing to exchange your current life for the “perfect life” you described and why.  See our essay writing tips to learn more!

Personal Essay Topics

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A personal essay is an essay about your life, thoughts, or experiences. This type of essay gives readers a glimpse into your most intimate life encounters and lessons. There are many reasons you may need to write a personal essay, from a simple class assignment to a college application requirement . You can use the list below for inspiration. Consider each statement a starting point, and write about a memorable moment that the prompt brings to mind.

• Your bravest moment
• How you met your best friend
• What makes your mom or dad special
• How you overcame a fear
• Why you will succeed
• Why you made a difficult choice
• A special place
• A place you try to avoid
• When a friend let you down
• An event that changed your life
• A special encounter with an animal
• A time when you felt out of place
• An odd experience that didn't make sense at the time
• Words of wisdom that hit home and changed your way of thinking
• A person you don't like
• A time when you disappointed someone
• Your fondest memory
• A time when you saw your parent cry
• The moment when you knew you were grown up
• Your earliest memory of holiday celebrations in your home
• Times when you should have made a better choice
• A time when you dodged a dangerous situation
• A person you will think about at the end of your life
• Your favorite time period
• A failure you've experienced
• A disappointment you've experienced
• A surprising turn of events
• What you would do with power
• What superpower you would choose
• If you could switch lives with someone
• How money matters in your life
• Your biggest loss
• A time when you felt you did the wrong thing
• A proud moment when you did the right thing
• An experience that you've never shared with another person
• A special place that you shared with a childhood friend
• A first encounter with a stranger
• Your first handshake
• Where you go to hide
• If you had a do-over
• A book that changed your life
• Words that stung
• When you had the desire to run
• When you had the urge to crawl into a hole
• Words that prompted hope
• When a child taught you a lesson
• Your proudest moment
• If your dog could talk
• Your favorite time with family
• If you could live in another country
• If you could invent something
• The world a hundred years from now
• If you had lived a hundred years earlier
• The animal you'd like to be
• One thing you'd change at your school
• The greatest movie moment
• The type of teacher you would be
• If you could be a building
• A statue you'd like to see
• If you could live anywhere
• The greatest discovery
• If you could change one thing about yourself
• An animal that could be in charge
• Something you can do that robots could never do
• Your most unfortunate day
• Your secret talent
• Your secret love
• The most beautiful thing you've ever seen
• The ugliest thing you've seen
• Something you've witnessed
• An accident that changed everything
• A wrong choice
• A right choice
• If you were a food
• How you'd spend a million dollars
• If you could start a charity
• The meaning of color
• A close call
• Your favorite gift
• A chore you'd do away with
• A secret place
• Something you can't resist
• A hard lesson
• A visitor you'll never forget
• An unexplained event
• Your longest minute
• An awkward social moment
• An experience with death
• Why you'll never tell a lie
• If your mom knew, she'd kill you
• A kiss that meant a lot
• When you needed a hug
• The hardest news you've had to deliver
• A special morning
• 100 Persuasive Essay Topics
• Examples of Great Introductory Paragraphs
• 67 Causal Essay Topics to Consider
• Complete List of Transition Words
• How to Write a Narrative Essay or Speech (With Topic Ideas)
• Topical Organization Essay
• What Is Expository Writing?
• 501 Topic Suggestions for Writing Essays and Speeches
• Writing a Descriptive Essay
• Black History Essay Topics
• Ecology Essay Ideas
• List of Topics for How-to Essays
• 50 Argumentative Essay Topics
• Cause and Effect Essay Topics
• Structure of a Descriptive Essay
• Tips for Writing a "What I Did on Vacation" Essay

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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Follow YES! For Teachers

Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

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Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

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What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?

What’s covered:, what makes for a good college essay, how to write a dazzling college essay, will your essay make or break your college application.

College applicants are constantly told that in order to be attractive to admissions committees they need to stand out—but how can you stand out when you live a pretty ordinary life? Lots of students worry that the events of their everyday life are too boring or clichéd to be the topic of a really good essay.

That being said, there’s no need to worry! Your college essay doesn’t need to be about an extraordinary experience you’ve had. Rather, it should depict you as extraordinary. “Uninteresting” topics actually make great college essays because the topic itself doesn’t carry the essay—the student’s individuality does.

Read on for tips on how to write a college essay about an “uninteresting” topic that still shows off your personality, values, interests, and writing skills.

The purpose of your college essay is to humanize yourself to admissions officers so that they can see the ‘real you’ behind the grades and test scores you’ve submitted.

Our article about awesome essay topics gives five structures for a good college essay (though there are many more!):

• A unique extracurricular activity or passion
• An activity or interest that contrasts heavily with your profile
• A seemingly insignificant moment that speaks to larger themes within your life
• Using an everyday experience or object as a metaphor to explore your life and personality
• An in-the-moment narrative that tells the story of an important moment in your life

As you might notice, only one of these essay topics references anything exciting, extraordinary, or unique. Set aside the idea that you need to write about something dramatic and unusual. Unusual experiences are not what is most important to admissions officers—rather, it’s important to position yourself as someone that an admissions officer would like to see at their university.

Some things that make for a bad college essay include:

• Not answering the prompt
• Stretching a prompt so that your answer doesn’t make sense
• Writing about a controversial issue, particularly in an irreverent way
• Showing prejudice
• Writing about a clichéd topic
• Writing about anything that advocates disrespect for authority—this can be anything from insulting a teacher to doing an illegal activity
• Assuming the opinions of your reader

Beyond these boundaries, you can pick any topic you want. It’s how you write about the topic that matters!

Read on for our advice on writing a compelling essay that offers a window into your personality and life experiences.

Our guidance for writing a dazzling essay about an “uninteresting” topic involves:

• Picking a value or fundamental truth about yourself that will humanize you to admissions officers and tell them something important about yourself
• Identifying an experience that exemplifies that value or fundamental truth
• Writing a thoughtful essay that uses your “uninteresting” experience to say something interesting about yourself

1. Get the Ball Rolling

There are many different practices you might find useful as you start brainstorming your college essay. These include freewriting, listing, outlines, and more. That said, don’t feel restricted by brainstorming exercises. Remember that they’re meant to start the process and get the juices flowing. Write down anything and everything that springs to mind—who knows what it could turn into?

Sometimes simple questions can open students up and reveal what is important to them. Here are some questions that might help you brainstorm:

• What’s the last news story you read and found interesting? This question can help you identify an issue that you are passionate about or a cause that matters a lot to you.
• What is your proudest accomplishment so far? What about it makes you feel proud? This question can reveal what you consider most important about yourself, which is likely something you find important in life.
• When have you been the most nervous, and why were you nervous? What was the outcome of the situation? This could be anything from an important performance to standing up for an issue you care about. People’s fears can be an indicator of what they value.
• What’s the most recent topic you researched on your own just for fun or self-improvement? Have you found yourself going down a rabbit hole of Wikipedia articles recently? Your interests are important to you and say a lot about you.
• What have you learned from the community you grew up in? What do you value about that community? Your individual history and family history are very important factors in who you are as a person.
• When have you most recently changed your mind about something important? If growth is important to you, admissions officers want to hear about it.

2. Pick Your Value

If you aren’t going to have a flashy topic, you need to make sure that you use your “uninteresting” topic to say something interesting about yourself. When the admissions officer finishes reading your essay, they should feel like they know you better than when they started reading. So what are you going to tell them about yourself?

Your value or fundamental truth about yourself doesn’t necessarily need to be positive, but neutral/negative values will probably need to be accompanied by self-aware reflection throughout your essay.

Values and fundamental truths can be things like:

• I have a growth mindset
• Family loyalty is very important to me
• Giving gifts that people will treasure is important to me
• I don’t like to be like everyone else
• Embarrassment is a major fear of mine
• I don’t like seeing others in pain
• I am super curious
• I always like to be busy
• I don’t like making mistakes
• Having fun is important to me
• I’m a people pleaser
• Self-care is important to me

3. Pick Your Experience

You will want to pick an anecdote, experience, or example that can serve as a channel through which you can communicate your value. Finding significance in a small incident can be incredibly compelling for your readers. On the other hand, you could explore the meaning of something that you do every day or every week. You can even simply muse on one relationship in your life that speaks to your value. Once you have chosen an experience, you have your topic!

Some “uninteresting” essay topics with interesting implications could be:

• Making dinner with my mom on Fridays allows me to see how matriarchal strength has been passed down in my family
• Volunteering at my local community center is how I take care of the natural caretaker in me
• Going to the mall with my best friend is important to me because choosing which stores to go into is structured spontaneity, and I need structured spontaneity
• Making cards for my friends’ birthdays started as a way to save money, but I really enjoy how it fuses technical and artistic abilities in a unique way
• Singing Disney show tunes in the car is when I feel most relaxed because people around me put a lot of pressure on me to grow up fast and sometimes I miss being a kid
• Going to the hospital to visit my uncle after his surgery was uncomfortable for me because I love others so strongly that it truly hurts me to see them in pain
• Sleeping with my same stuffed animal every night makes me feel safe, which is important to me because my sister’s health issues cause me anxiety and it’s nice to have something stable to rely on

Some final notes on choosing your essay topic:

• The topic you initially like the most may not be the one that allows you to write the best possible essay. Be open to trying something different.
• You don’t need to commit to a topic right away. If it becomes clear after you start outlining or writing that your initial plan isn’t going to work as well as you would like, there’s nothing wrong with altering your topic or starting over with a new topic.

If you still feel stuck, we recommend you take a look at the school-specific supplemental essay questions presented by the colleges to which you’re not applying. One of these prompts might spark an idea in your mind that would also be appropriate for the colleges to which you are applying. Check out the Essay Breakdown posts on the CollegeVine blog for a convenient way to look at this year’s essay questions from many different competitive schools.

4. Make Your Experience Shine

Once you’ve selected a topic, you’ll need to figure out how to develop an essay from it that is technically skillful, compelling to the reader, and true to the vision of yourself that you’re working to portray in your application. Remember, the value of your essay is much more in how you write about your experiences than it is in what experiences you write about.

To write a truly effective college essay, you’ll need to focus not just on depicting your chosen experience, but also on expressing your personal experience in an interesting manner. The experience is simply your scaffolding. The focus of your essay should be what that experience says about you—or what you make it say about you.

When writing about an “uninteresting” experience, you will want to be reflective, be self-aware, and show maturity in your view of your experience. Focus on communicating your thoughts and emotions in a way that evokes emotion in your reader and makes them feel connected to you.

Details are also important to pay attention to while writing your essay, as they’ll bring life and context to your story. Vivid and evocative details can turn your “uninteresting” experience into a relatable and interesting scene in your reader’s imagination.

With skillful writing, powerful word choice, and a good sense of how to develop a fragment of an idea into a longer piece of writing, you can make any topic—no matter how “uninteresting” it may seem—into a mature exploration of your values and a showcase of your skills as a communicator.

It depends . A brilliant essay can’t make up for severe deficiencies in your academic qualifications , but it will still have a significant impact, particularly at smaller and more competitive schools.

If you’re “on the bubble” for admissions, an essay that makes an admissions officer feel like they know you could give them a reason to accept your application. On the other hand, an essay that’s carelessly written, inappropriate, or full of technical errors will hurt your chances of admission, even if you have great qualifications.

If you finish your first draft of your essay and are still worried that your “uninteresting” topic will break your college application, we recommend that you get feedback. Sometimes it can really help to have someone else determine whether or not your voice is shining through in your work. Feedback is ultimately any writer’s best source of improvement!

To get your college essay edited for free and improve your chances of acceptance at your dream schools, use our Peer Review Essay Tool . With this tool, other students will tell you if your essay effectively humanizes you.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

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What Should I Do With My Life? Essay Examples

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Drugs , Women , Career , Money , Life , Thinking , Hazard , People

Published: 12/23/2019

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The direction of my life should be dependent upon an overall vision. That vision should be based upon my personal beliefs and moral convictions. Understanding that life is not all about career and money helps me to build my ambitions on a solid foundation. Neither is life about making history. The worth of a person’s life can be spelled out in terms of how much of a positive impact he or she had on those under their sphere of influence. The trickiest part about trying to live an altruistic life is choosing the path in which to help others. There are many professional and non-profit career choices that will lead to helping others. Depending on your education and personal background you can feel out a number of different options. Teaching, for example, can be a very fulfilling career as you help youngsters and guide them through the academic process. You could save someone’s lifestyle. Most people think of becoming doctors or firemen, while yet others think of becoming policemen. These are all jobs that come from a desire to fulfill that part of us that yearns to help others. There’s an account of a young woman who wanted to do something powerful and impactful amongst the poor in one of the poorest locales anywhere. She was to told by the men in her organization that a woman should not do such thing because they were dangerous. She so desired to fulfill her heart’s yearning that she ignored them and continued to solicit help. Eventually she found someone who would direct her. He told her to get on the fastest ship and purchase a ticket that would take her as far as her money could stretch. She did it and wound up in one of the most dangerous and drug-den-infested places in China. She served drug-addicted prostitutes, gang members holding the posts of generations past, and orphan caught up in human trafficking. She showed people the way out and then reproduced herself by having those same people do the same. “What should I do with my life?” This is a very important question which never plays-out in someone’s life. It can be asked at any age; and with the proper guidance should lead to good results. The primary objective is to be pleased with the answer when asking one’s self “What have I done with my life?” We hope that your answer is related to how you made someone else great.

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How to Find an Answer for What to Do with Your Life

Last Updated: November 28, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was reviewed by Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC and by wikiHow staff writer, Luke Smith, MFA . Christina Stathopoulos is a Certified Leadership and Life Coach and the Founder of Hear Her Roar, a coaching service for women leaders. With more than five years of experience, she specializes in leadership development, relationships, empowerment, public speaking, and work-life balance. Christina holds a BA in Chemistry and English from Mount Holyoke College. She has also received her Professional Certified Coach Credential from The International Coaching Federation and Accomplishment Coaching Certification from Accomplishment Coaching. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 15,671 times.

Everyone finds themselves in a slump now and then, especially when they feel like progress is hard or that they don’t know what their next move is. The good news is that you don’t have to feel like you’re on track 24/7. The better news is that getting back on track doesn’t have to be all that tricky. We’ve come through with 13 profound (and profoundly simple) tips that’ll help you take stock of your life and surge forward with newfound motivation and a clear direction.

Things You Should Know

• Think back on moments you consider meaningful in your life and ask yourself why they were meaningful to pinpoint what you value and what you want.
• Identify a long-term or short-term goal, then break it down into simple, achievable steps to help you make progress and find direction.
• Connect with friends, family, or a community like volunteer workers or a sports club. Social engagement is a shortcut to feeling fulfilled.

Clear your mind.

• Sit or lie down in a dim room and play some relaxing music, or just any music you enjoy. Inhale for 10 seconds, exhale for 10 seconds. Keep breathing deeply for 5-10 minutes. Once you feel calmer, it’s time to tackle the big questions.

Think back to times when your life felt meaningful.

• For example, if you felt content because you were with someone, it may be that your key to meaning is social connections. If you felt accomplished after overcoming some sort of adversity, you might need a good challenge or goal to motivate you.
• Also ask yourself: When was the happiest moment of my life? What’s made me feel happy recently? Is there anything different between my life then and now?

Identify a goal.

• If you can’t think of anything, start with something small, like going for a walk every day, or seeing a new movie each week. Having something to look forward to goes a long way toward giving you a sense of direction.
• If you can, tell someone about your goal. Externalizing it makes it more real, and motivates you to work toward it.
• Try asking yourself these questions: What do I want to be remembered for? If I could be doing anything right now, what would it be? What do I want my life to look like in 5 years?

Make a plan to achieve your goal.

• Making a life plan helps make your bigger goals much more approachable, which makes you more likely to follow through on them. Even making a plan for small goals helps kick your mind into problem-solving mode, getting you on your feet and feeling better.

wikiHow Quiz: What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need?

Pick a sea creature:, take steps to stick to your plan..

• If you can, find a buddy to work toward your goal with. For example, say hi to someone in your class, or recruit a friend to take that walk with you every day. When you’ve got someone depending on you, you’re more likely to follow through.

Take stock of your achievements.

• Your achievements don’t have to be grand. Even achievements you think are small, like landing a job or finding an apartment—even just living as long as you have—are meaningful and important.
• To help you identify your accomplishments, ask yourself: What makes me feel satisfied? What am I most proud of?

Think of what you’re grateful for.

• For example, a journal entry might read: “Today I saw a bird I’d never seen before and stopped to admire it. I’m glad there are such interesting animals all around me to enjoy.”
• To help get your imagination going, ask: Who’s been kind to me recently? What’s made me smile? What makes life easier for me?

Help other people.

• Alternatively, help feed the homeless by handing out groceries or gift cards to those in need.
• Or, ask your local old folks’ home if you can come in and talk with the residents. Retirement homes are often grateful for anyone looking to give some care, however small, to their clients, and the residents will appreciate a listening ear.

Take a break from social media.

• After a week, ask yourself if your short-term cleanse helped you feel any better. If it did, do it again for another week, or consider an indefinite break.
• Distract yourself from checking your socials by redirecting your thoughts. Any time you feel the urge to log on, go for a quick walk around the block, make a cup of tea, lie down for a while, or even open your photos app and reminisce on your own fond memories, instead.

Travel to someplace new.

• If you don’t have the means for long-distance travel, take a day trip to a state park, or even spend a few hours in the next city over. Lives are led in all sorts of ways, all over the place, and you don’t have to go far to encounter them.

Start an exercise routine.

• Shoot for 30 minutes of physical activity most days, whether that’s a run, a bike ride, or just a walk through the park.
• Consider joining a club sports team, or even playing an active videogame that gets you moving—rhythm and dance games are great for those looking for a fun way to break a sweat.

• If you’d rather not sign up for the lifestyle change that comes with a dog or a cat, go for something smaller, like caring for a fish or a hamster. These are hugely rewarding pets that don’t require too much maintenance.
• Or, if you’d rather skip the commitment, volunteer at an animal shelter . Taking care of animals in need and helping them find homes is a worthy undertaking, and a great use of your time.

See a therapist.

Expert Q&A

You might also like.

Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about improving your life, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC .

• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201504/5-neuroscience-based-ways-clear-your-mind
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/confessions-techie/201404/finding-your-life-s-purpose
• ↑ https://actionforhappiness.org/take-action/set-your-goals-and-make-them-happen
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202301/5-ways-to-find-your-purpose
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200603/make-gratitude-adjustment
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202008/4-new-ways-to-find-meaning-and-purpose
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/social-comparison-theory#the-dangers-of-comparison
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/201803/why-travel-is-good-your-mental-health
• ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/building-better-mental-health.htm

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Getting College Essay Help: Important Do's and Don’ts

College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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