how long does it take to write a best man speech

How To Write A Killer Best Man Speech (With Templates)

A funny, heartfelt speech from the best man is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. Here’s how to give a great toast (without embarrassing yourself).

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A best man speech is the perfect way to send your brother or friend the best wishes in their marriage, but standing up in front of the crowd can be super nerve-wracking. If you’ve been invited to be the best man at a wedding but have no idea what to say in your speech, you’re not alone! 

Over 75% of the population cites public speaking as one of their biggest fears. Thankfully, it’s a people skill that anyone can develop. A great event toast can be a game-changer and make you feel like a celebrity amongst the wedding guests. 

Watch our video to learn the best (and worst) speech openers:

Here’s how to overcome your public speaking anxiety and give a knockout best man speech that will incite laughter, smiles, or even sentimental tears. 

Quick Answer: How to Write a Best Man Speech Fast (with Template!)

A killer best man toast has a formula:

• Start with a funny or complimentary introduction
• Lead into a short story
• Add a dash of vulnerability
• End with genuine congratulations to the bride and groom. 

You won’t want to wing the speech after you’ve had a few drinks when you feel strapped for time before the wedding. Instead, take just 30 minutes of planning and note-making to save you (and the bride & groom) the embarrassment of an excessively long or inappropriate ramble. 

If you want to write a best man speech fast, follow this brief template for a great toast. Your toast should be roughly 3 to 5 minutes long. You can use numbered index cards to jot down the highlights of each section. Then, rehearse a few times in the mirror in the days leading up to the event. 

The most straightforward speech outline includes seven main components: 

• A great one-liner : This could be a funny joke, a compliment, or an inspirational quote about brotherhood or marriage. The first 15 seconds of the toast should capture the audience’s attention and leave them excited for more. Modify this:

“I’d like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle].” 

• Compliment the wedding : Build your respect with the guests by highlighting things you like about the wedding. For example, you can compliment the beauty of the venue, the delicious food, or the great choice of music. Modify this:

“All jokes aside, this is a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom look like a movie star couple together. And if you didn’t taste the cake, you are missing out!” 

• Express gratitude : Say “thank you” to those who made the wedding possible and show appreciation to the groom for choosing you as his best man. Modify this:

“I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimerman for hosting us here today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day.” 

• Tell a story : Did you and the groom meet as kids on the baseball field? Were you there when he first met his bride? Did you share a funny experience in college that is appropriate to share? The “meat” of the speech will be a short story about your relationship with the groom. A great story sounds like this:

 “When I first met Jeff, he was in a period of transition in life, like we all go through. He had just started a new job at my office in San Francisco, and we met because of our mutual addiction to double shot espressos (iced with a little cream) at 6 AM every morning from the corner coffee shop Bob’s Cup O’ Joe. When we both arrived at the office at the same time, 3 days in a row with eyes like this [widen eyes big], I knew we would be friends for life. A million espressos, meetings, and after-work beers later, I am so proud to call Jeff my best friend. When he told me about meeting a beautiful blonde named Anne at Bob’s Cup O’ Joe a few years later, I knew something would become of it. She even drank the same double shot espressos, iced with a little cream!”  

• Admire the couple : Strengthen your bond with the newlyweds by expressing your support for their marriage. If you know a bit about the bride and groom’s relationship, list a few things you admire about their bond. You may emphasize how the bride has positively impacted the groom’s life or how they make a great team. 

“Jeff and Anne are a perfect pair, and it seriously warms my heart to see a couple so amazingly in love. They compliment each other in every way and radiate joy when they are together.” 

• Summarize your thoughts : Before you wrap up your speech, go back and highlight your key ideas. You can pre-write 2-3 crisp sentences summarizing your support of the couple’s marriage. Modify this:

“I wish I could say I predicted this day would come, but Jeff’s incredible character and charm won Anne over. I am so grateful to be friends with both of them and to join you all in this celebration.” 

• Toast to the future : At the end of your speech, raise your glass for a toast to the couple’s love. Modify this: 

“Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness and espressos for Jeff and Anne Allison!” 

Here is an awesome example of a short and sweet 4-minute toast that left the crowd cracking up:

It’s best to memorize your speech, but there is no shame in bringing a few index cards in your pocket to reference if you get nervous. Don’t forget to prepare and rehearse in advance. 

For a more in-depth speech, see our step-by-step guide below. 

What to Say in a Best Man Speech (Do’s and Don’ts)

A best man’s speech traditionally takes place at the wedding reception after the maid of honor gives her speech. The best man’s speech should be positive, respectful, and congratulatory. It can last 3 to 5 minutes and should focus on a central theme or story about the groom. 

Remember, a best man speech is not the time to “wing it.” If you do that, there may come the point when everything suddenly goes silent, and a crowd of 50-100+ people is staring at you, waiting for what you’re going to say about the groom. You probably don’t want to end up with a cringing audience while telling a story about the groom’s previous relationships:

Instead, remember these key best man speech tips for a successful toast: 

Here are a few examples of what you should say in a best man speech:

• How did you meet the groom?
• What is one of your favorite memories with him?
• How did the groom meet the bride? Were you there?
• What is special about the groom?
• What do you like most about him? 
• What are his positive traits? 
• Playful banter : You don’t want to be too corny and cheesy with your bro. Depending on your relationship with the groom and the culture of the wedding, you may want to throw in a little banter with your dude. For example, you might make a funny joke about how much the groom loves going out to eat:

You should also avoid some key topics in a best man speech. 

Do not mention:

• The groom’s past relationships
• Sexual jokes
• Drugs, alcohol, or past mistakes
• Insecurities of the groom
• Financial or personal information 
• Insults to the bride or the wedding guests 
• Overly embarrassing stories
• Teasing the bride
• Anything that could potentially harm your friendship

Keep things positive and lighthearted. While a little witty banter or playful teasing can be fun (depending on your relationship with the groom), you should avoid insulting him or highlighting any major insecurities. The “playful” part of the speech is an excellent fun icebreaker, but it shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel publicly embarrassed in front of their wedding guests.

How to Write a Best Man Speech for Best Friend or Brother: Easy Step-by-Step Guide

If you’re ready to prepare something more in-depth than the quick ideas above, this step-by-step guide can help you write a thoughtful speech that the groom may remember forever. After all, being named the best man at your friend or brother’s wedding is a tremendous honor. But like any honor, it comes with some responsibilities. After you finish all your bachelor party and wedding duties, an epic best man speech can be like the fireworks at the show’s end. 

Here are 5 simple steps to make it count:

#1 Start with a theme

Before you start writing and rehearsing your speech, it helps to decide on a theme for your talk. This will give a nice flow to the speech. A theme ensures that you stay on track to communicate your congratulations and appreciation to the groom. 

What is the main message you want to get across? A few theme ideas include:

• Anecdotes : Best man toasts center around storytelling. This theme is the easiest way to stay on track because you are telling a simple story from beginning to end. 
• Humor : Whether you’re naturally funny or working on your jokes ,  your speech is the perfect opportunity to get the audience laughing. Best man speeches are known for getting a little saucy, but you must be careful about offending the crowd or making crude jokes that might insult the bride and groom. If you want to tease the groom with some witty banter, it helps to make fun of yourself or reference an appropriate inside joke.
• Inspirational : Have you and the groom achieved an important business goal or accomplishment together? Do you have a shared role model or favorite motivational book you both read in college? This speech theme can leave the audience feeling inspired.
• Morality : Use your speech to highlight the great person the groom is. Perhaps you give examples of his integrity, trustworthiness, or generosity. You can emphasize how lucky you are to know the groom and how glad you are that he found a woman to spend his life with. 
• Sentimentality : When humor and storytelling aren’t your fortes, it doesn’t hurt to get a little corny. Sentimental speeches require a level of emotional vulnerability, but they can leave a huge impact on the newlyweds and their attendees.

#2 Create an outline

You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a navigation system, so don’t go into your speech without a plan. The best toasts and speeches follow the same structure. Pull out a piece of paper and brainstorm some ideas using this format, then use the following steps to fill in the details:

• Hook/Opening statement : The opening statement should be a 1 to 3-line description about the groom. The first 7 seconds of the speech should hook the audience immediately. It warms them up to you and makes them want to pay attention to the amusing stories. You’ll find an abundance of opening-line ideas in the next section. 
• Background context : Now comes the why of your speech. This is where the context of your relationship with the groom comes in. You can throw in some funny jokes and a few details about your experience with him. Use this intro to build up the anticipation for the story to come. Write down a few ideas of stories you can tell. 
• Tell the story : Choose 1-3 short stories about the groom that is funny, slightly embarrassing, or interesting. Jot down a few of the sensory elements you want to reference, like the smelly locker room or the squeaking of tire wheels. Most stories follow a bell-curve pattern—they start with an intro, lead to rising action, peak with a capstone moment, then tie back to the beginning. Keep this in mind as you brainstorm and follow the story-planning steps below. 
• Take-home message : After you get a good laugh or “awww” out of the audience, you’ll want to bring the story back to the beginning. What do you want them to remember about your speech and friendship with the groom? 
• Thank the wedding party : Use a quick sentence to thank the wedding party and hosts. Express your genuine gratitude for being invited. 
• Closing toast and congratulations : After wrapping up the story and thanking the wedding party, you should invite the audience to toast the bride and groom with you. For an extra cheery finale, act as if you are speaking on their behalf and include lots of well-wishes for the newlyweds. 

Pro Tip : Before filling in your outline details, watch this video for an overview of how to give a memorable toast. Human behavior expert Vanessa Van Edwards explains the most common mistakes (don’t start with “I,” “me,” or “my”) and a few secrets to getting the audience to perk up in their seats. 

#3 Nail the opening line 

Once you have your outline, it’s time to dig into the details. People decide their first impression of you within 7 seconds, so it’s extra important to nail the opening line of your speech. Best men use this opportunity to crack a joke, compliment the wedding, or set a sentimental tone for the speech. 

Avoid making the first lines about you. No “me”, “I”, or “my”. Instead, start with a juicy or mysterious line about the groom, for example:

If you need a little inspiration, here are some hilarious and quirky best man speech opening lines: 

• “Caring, loyal, honest, good-looking, and an all-around-great guy… OK, enough about me, onto the groom…!” 
• “This is the perfect chance to tell you about [Groom] and how talented, special, smart, good-looking, and… sorry, man, I can’t read your handwriting here.” 
• “I’d like to give a toast to the bride and groom.” [pull a piece of toasted bread from your pocket and give it to them]
• “[Groom’s name] is the kind of person you call when you lock yourself out of the dorm bathroom without any clothes on.” 
• “The bride and groom asked me not to share embarrassing stories or crude jokes during my speech… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening, everyone.”
• “I’d like to start by congratulating the groom for his excellent taste in choosing the best man.” 
• “[Groom] had a tough time choosing his best man. First, he called his most handsome friend, but he said no. Then, he called his smartest friend, and he said no. Then, he called his most successful friend, who also said no. Then he called me, and I said, ‘Bro, I can’t say no to you four times.'”
• “What can I say about [Groom]? I guess I’ll start at the very beginning. He was born on [groom’s birthday]. Our parents were hoping for a girl, but I’ve always said… close enough.”

Here is a genuinely funny opening line from a best brother wedding speech:

Pro Tip : Don’t forget to pause for laughter. If it doesn’t come, you can chuckle at yourself and cue the audience that they are supposed to laugh by saying, “This is where you are supposed to laugh,” or joking, “Sound guy, can you please cue the laugh track?” Then, keep going with your speech.

Don’t worry. You need not be a jokester to give a great opening line. If you want to go the nostalgic or tearjerker route, be sure it is highly personalized and thoughtful. Here are some sentimental opening line ideas:

• “There are friends, and there is family, but friends also become family. This is so true for [Groom] and me. We’ve been best friends since we were X years old, and I’ve always considered him my brother.” 
• “There’s an old Irish proverb that says a good friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find and lucky to have. I think that’s true. Good friends are hard to find, and I’m lucky to have called [Groom] my best friend for the last X years.” 
• “I’ve heard that the best relationships come from the foundation of a deep friendship. Experts say that laughter, mutual respect, and enjoying each other’s company are the ingredients for a long-lasting, joyful marriage. After knowing [Groom] and [Bride] for X years, there is no doubt in my mind that they will make a great pair.” 
• “In Good Will Hunting , Robin Williams said, ‘It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect as long as they are perfect for each other.” Anyone who has seen [Groom] and [Bride] together can agree that this is true for them. I haven’t seen a perfect pair, and I’m happy to be part of this celebration of their love.” 

To learn more about the best speech openers, use this guide on How to Start a Speech: The Best (and Worst) Speech Openers . Some top tips include:

• Avoid starting with a lackluster nicety like “thanks for having me.” 
• Don’t mention your nervousness.
• Avoid mentioning technical difficulties like the microphone or saying, “Can you hear me?” 

Bonus Tip: Learn the Art of Stage Presence

Did you know that public speaking is actually a skill? Many people struggle with stage anxiety because they feel they ‘missed the memo’ on public speaking or they are lacking because they do not have a natural stage presence. Not true!

Stage presence and public speaking are skills you need to be taught—very few people have them naturally. 

Watch our video to learn 7 steps to overcome stage fright and beat performance anxiety:

Here are all the aspects of public speaking you can master.

• How to make a first impression with an audience
• How to have stage presence
• Powerful body language
• How to speak with a commanding voice
• What to do with your hands while speaking

For every speaking skill you add to your toolbox, the less speaking anxiety you will feel.

If you want help really diving into your presentation skills, be sure to sign up for our course…

Master Your People Skills

• Create a Memorable Presence
• Communicate with Confidence
• Achieve Your Goals

Have a question about the presentation or People School? Email Science of People support .

#4 Background context

Now that you’ve grabbed the audience’s attention, it’s time to give them a little background on why you are giving a speech in the first place. This is another sneak peek at some details you’ll cover in the speech. 

The whole point of this part is to tell them how you know the groom—but it isn’t about you. You’ll often hear wedding speeches that start with a drab, “I met the groom in college” or, “My name is ___, and I’m the best man.” You can do better than that! Try saying:

• “The groom was the first friend I made on the high school football team. I had no idea we would become roommates in a bachelor pad throughout college.” 
• “As little kids, the groom and I were known to be a dangerous duo in the neighborhood. He always carried the eggs and toilet paper, then instructed me where to throw them. But you can guess who always took the blame for his antics….” 
• “The groom and I have been friends and business partners for X years, and as you’ll hear shortly, he is the main reason I broke my arm during the last office basketball game. But first, I want to tell you a less embarrassing story….” 

Pro Tip : Focus on the groom, and don’t make it about you. One of the biggest mistakes people make during wedding speeches is talking too much about themselves. Your speech shouldn’t discuss where you’re from, what you think, or how you ended up at the party. The best man’s speech is a time to focus on the groom and his bride. 

#5 Tell the story  

After your punchy opening line and background info, it’s time to tell the perfect story about the groom. Depending on the length of your speech and the details of your story, some best man speeches cover 1 to 3 short stories. 

Reference back to the memories you wrote when brainstorming. Pick a story that includes the most of these captivating elements:

• A little bit of embarrassment : Whether it’s you, the groom, or a mutual friend, it helps to poke some fun at someone in the story. If you fear being offensive, the best person to joke about is yourself.  
• Audience member references : You can get major bonus points if you bring wedding guests into the storytelling moment. You might say, “Mom, you might want to close your ears on this one!” or, “Brian, we’re talking about you!” 
• Sensory details : What did the scenery look like? What were the prominent smells, sounds, and tastes at the moment? A great story should make the audience feel like they were with you. Don’t forget to mention the frigid cold lake you jumped into or the outrageously spicy food that left you both panting and crying for water. 
• A final punch line : Ideally, the best story ends with a shocking moment or funny line. It should leave the audience laughing, crying, surprised, or even gasping. For example, in an epic adventure story about you and the groom on a hunting trip, you may end with, “Just as the shark was about to bite the line, Joe reeled in the massive bluefin and yelled, ‘I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat!’”

Pro Tip : If you have to ask, “Is this appropriate?” it probably isn’t. Some stories are better for late-night beers than they are for weddings. Avoid telling stories related to sexual topics, drugs, alcohol, illegal activities, or anything you wouldn’t want grandma to hear. 

#6 Take-home message

When the story finishes, you’ve hopefully elicited some laughter or maybe some tears. All jokes aside, there is a reason you were the best man, and you are probably a significant person to the groom. This is a great time to emphasize the best qualities of the groom and why you’re so happy for his new love. 

Here is an excellent example of tying together the opening and closing lines with a heartfelt message about finding the perfect soul mate:

#7 End your speech with a heartfelt toast

We’ve all heard “let’s raise a glass to [Bride] and [Groom]” before. You can do better than that! The final toast is like the fireworks at the end of your best man speech. Instead of something mediocre, invite the audience to join you in a genuine, thoughtful congratulations. Examples include:

• “Please join me in raising our glasses to the beautiful bride and handsome groom. May your lives together be long, healthy, and happy. We love you so much and are excited for you. Cheers!” 
• “Lift your glasses to thank Mr. and Mrs. [Bride’s Parents] for hosting this beautiful wedding. Let us all toast to the perfect union of the bride and groom. We wish you a bright and beautiful future. Cheers!”
• “Here’s to the past, for all you’ve learned. Here’s to the present for this beautiful moment we all share. Here’s to the future for all you’ve got to look forward to. Cheers to the happy couple!” 

Pro Tip : Make your toast inclusive and communal, so the audience feels like they’re cheering for the couple with you. Use words like “we”, “lets”, and “us”. This congratulation invites them to join as if you are speaking on their behalf. 

#8 Use a best man speech template

A template makes things simple if you’re still feeling uneasy about writing your best man speech. You can take the structure of an example speech and incorporate your ideas and stories to make it your own. 

Best man speech example for a best friend :  

“Tonight, you’ll learn why the groom was destined to marry [Bride]. The year was 2002, and we were all in a bar with friends on New Year’s Eve in New York City. Snow was falling outside, and we were sipping champagne, waiting for the big ball to drop. Seemingly out of nowhere, a woman with a red dress entered the room, and everything seemed to stop. All the bachelors in our group were captivated, but only [Groom] had the guts to walk up to her. Rumor has it that his first opening line was ‘

Everyone talks about a woman’s glow when she’s falling in love, but I swear that [Groom] was smiling from ear to ear from the second they met. We could hardly get him to stop talking about her by the following week. We’d be watching football and drinking beers only to have [Bride’s] name brought up every 5 minutes. 

Fast forward 3 years, and we’ve all seen how much [Bride] has positively impacted his life. When he came to me to tell me he was proposing, my only response was, ‘ Finally, dude !’

There’s something extra special about these two. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. They love and respect each other so much. [Bride] was the one for [Groom] from the second they locked eyes in that hazy NYC bar. We are all so happy to be here for your big day. Let’s raise our glasses to the beautiful bride and groom! Cheers!” 

Another Best man speech example for a best friend :  

“The groom was the first friend I made on the high school basketball team. He wasn’t very good [pause for laughter]. I was the tallest player and obviously had the best free throw, but I was majorly lacking in the ladies department. Thankfully, [Groom] took me under his wing and showed me how to be a true gentleman. That includes opening doors for women and carrying their bags instead of just running in with my own. What would I have done without you, man?

Even though he was no good at basketball, [Groom] always had his head on his shoulders. He’s a respectful, intelligent, and relatively clean-cut guy. All joking aside, it’s no surprise that he ended up with a woman as intelligent and beautiful as [Bride]. You both deserve a lifetime of love, happiness, and success together. Please raise your glasses and join me in congratulating the bride and groom! We love you!” 

#9 Practice your body language

Public speaking isn’t only about what you say but how you carry yourself. Your body language can drastically affect your confidence, your delivery, and how the audience perceives you. Use these body language hacks to take your speech to the next level: 

• Signal “friend” : Smile and show your open palms to send the message that you are the audience’s friend. This makes people feel more comfortable with your presence and more likely to listen.
• Stand up straight : When you look confident, you also feel more confident. Check your posture if your voice is a little shaky before the speech. Roll back your shoulders and tuck your shoulder blades down towards your back. Slightly lift your chest and chin as you speak. 
• Make eye contact: Throughout the speech, you should change your eye contact with different audience members. As you mention specific compliments or thanks, make eye contact with the bride, groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and the bride’s father.
• Genuinely smile : Smiling may seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget when you feel so focused on a perfect delivery. At the same time, you don’t want to look like you’re fake smiling throughout the speech. Use these 9 Simple Tips to Smile Better (in any situation!)
• Use your hands : It’s easy to let your nerves get the best of you and feel like a “deer in the headlights.” Instead of tucking your hands in your pockets, widen your stance and take up space. Use your hands and gestures while you talk to show that you are comfortable and happy during the speech. 

Want more tips? Here are 17 Body Language Presentation Cues to Use in Your Next Speech . 

#10 Rehearse before the big day

Experts say you should rehearse a speech 10 times before performing it. Research also shows that people who mentally prepare themselves before a speech by imagining it going well are more likely to perform fluently and easily. So before you get in front of an audience, be sure you’ve gone over your speech at least 10 times, either in your head or out loud. Better yet, practice in the mirror, on camera, or in front of a trusted friend. 

It also helps to review the gist of the speech with the groom (without giving away any secret details) to make sure it’s alright with him. A few weeks before the wedding, you may pull him aside and ask, “Hey man, is it OK if I tell the story about ____ in my best man speech? I think it’ll get some good laughs.” 

Although this example is long, this best man very clearly rehearsed his speech for a near-perfect performance without any notes:

Key Takeaways: Express Gratitude and Sentimentality in 3-5 Minutes

Ultimately, a best man speech is an opportunity to make your best bro look good in front of all his friends and family. Your speech should demonstrate how much you value your brotherhood or friendship. At the same time, you can enjoy 5 minutes of wedding fame without making things all about you. A great toast can make you a memorable celebrity at the wedding and have people laughing at your

Before jumping up at the reception and speaking off the cuff, remember to:

• Outline and plan your speech ahead of time. Use notecards if needed.
• Focus on the groom and his bride. Don’t go on and on about yourself. 
• Nail the opening line with a funny joke, quote, or teaser that leads into a great story. 
• Avoid inappropriate or cringey topics that could embarrass the groom.
• Express gratitude to the groom and wedding hosts. 

Giving a toast or speech is an essential social skill that can make you one of the most likable people in a room. If you want to learn more about the art of giving showstopping toasts, read this guide on How to Give an Awesome Toast: Advanced Strategies for Speeches . 

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in: Character , Etiquette , Featured

Brett • April 11, 2022 • Last updated: April 20, 2022

10 Steps to Giving the Best, Best Man Speech

At some point in your life, one of your buddies or your brother will probably ask you to be the best man in his wedding. This is a great honor. One of the duties of a best man is to give a speech wherein you say a few kind words about your friend/brother and his new wife. If you’ve been to many weddings, you know that oftentimes best man speeches can quickly devolve into an awkward, drunken spectacle. The mixture of booze and lack of preparation results in the best man rambling and sharing inappropriate and embarrassing stories about the groom in front of hundreds of family and friends.

If you don’t want to make yourself look like a real ignoramus, and you want to truly be the best man, here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you prepare to give your speech.

Note: We originally published this article over 10 years ago and since that time we’ve gotten hundreds of emails and letters from best men sharing how our guide to the best man speech helped them deliver a speech that got compliments from not only the bride and groom, but also from everyone else at the wedding. This guide is battled tested and works. 

1. Prepare. Don’t walk into the wedding reception thinking you’ll know exactly what to say when you get there. If you have a few weeks before the wedding, start mulling over some ideas for the speech. Begin brainstorming and jotting down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you might want to use. If you don’t know a lot about how your buddy and his wife met, ask. Think of stories from you and your buddy’s past that show what a great guy he is. The goal of the speech is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

2. Stay sober. Sure, you want to enjoy yourself, and yes, alcohol may help take the edge off of giving a speech in front of hundreds of strangers; they don’t call alcohol liquid confidence for nothing. But make sure you’re not sloppy drunk when you give your speech. You don’t want to be completely uninhibited or you might say something you’ll regret later on. Besides, a man doesn’t need a crutch to help him tackle a challenge. Be man enough to postpone your own gratification until after the speech is completed.

3. Open by expressing gratitude. Thank all the people who made the day possible. Single out the bride and groom’s parents by name, and offer a toast to them for not only putting on the wedding but for raising two fine people. Thank the guests for coming.

4. Tell a story–make a connection. The ideal way to structure a best man speech is to find a connection between a story about your friend and your support for the couple. Share a story about how your friend would always lament that he would never find a woman with x,y, and z qualities, but how he finally did in his new bride. Or tell a story about the moment when you were hanging out with the couple and you realized your friend had found his match. Another good angle is to talk about the way that the bride and groom balance one another. Relate a funny (not embarrassing, see below) anecdote in which one of your buddy’s personality traits tripped him up in some way. For example, the story could be about how your friend is very shy and how this shyness caused some humorous event to occur. You then talk about how bubbly and outgoing his bride is, and how they therefore balance each other and make a perfect team.

5. Avoid controversial topics. Keep your speech on topics that aren’t controversial, offensive, or embarrassing. You would think this is common sense, but people somehow forget this when they’re standing with a microphone in their hand in front of a crowd of people. What gets people in trouble is attempting to be funny by sharing some embarrassing story or cracking some lame joke about a ball and chain. It usually comes out horribly and no one laughs. It’s okay to share a humorous anecdote, but not one that gets laughs at the expense of your friend and his new wife and embarrasses them and their guests.

Don’t talk about the groom’s past relationships, don’t tell people what you really thought of your buddy’s wife when you first met her, don’t slam the food, don’t make comments about “looking forward to the honeymoon” while winking at the bride–basically, just use some tact and common sense.

6. Avoid inside jokes. I hate when people do this in small groups. I hate it even more when people do it in front of larger groups. If you want to keep people’s attention, save the inside jokes for when it’s just you and your friend.

7. Keep it short. Nothing irritates people more than some rambling drunk going on and on and on. People have probably already listened to the maid of honor and the bride’s father give their spiel. By the time they get to you, the crowd is ready to eat cake and get on with it. Shoot for no more than five minutes.

8. End with a quote. An easy way to end is by using a quote that wraps the speech up nicely. In “How Do You Know When She’s the One?” I shared the quote my father-in-law used at my wedding. You can’t go wrong with it: “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” After that you can simply say, “My friend has found that person.” The End.

9. Raise your glass and propose a toast. Raise your glass and say something to the effect of: “Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and love for ____ and ____!”

10. Remember to be yourself. No need to get formal or try to be someone you’re not. And there’s no need to follow these instructions exactly either. Simply use them as a guide and be yourself. Let it flow naturally. Use your natural voice and mannerisms. Make it personal and sincere and say things from the heart and you should be golden.

Here’s your crib sheet:

1. Open by thanking those who made the day possible–end the intro with saying “Thank you to all those who have made it here today.”

2. Transition to your speech: “I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend/brother.”

3. Talk about how you know the groom, why you’re grateful for having him as your friend, and why he’s such an upstanding guy.

4. Share a story about your friend and connect it to the couple.

5. Raise your glass and ask everyone to join in a toast to the happy couple.

6. Let out a sigh of relief.

Related Posts

How to Write a Best Man Speech (6 Easy Steps)

So, it happened. You were asked to be the Best Man at a close friend or relative’s upcoming wedding. And of course, you said yes!

But now that means you have to write and deliver a Best Man speech, and maybe you don’t have a clue where to start.

After all, it’s not something you do every day!

If you’re feeling unsure then don’t worry, you’re in the right place. I’m going to tell you exactly how to write a Best Man speech.

And the good news is it’s not rocket science. It’s just a sequence of logical steps.

So let’s see what they are, shall we?

Step 1: Learn the Logistics

One of the easiest mistakes to make is assuming that things will run a certain way on the day of your speech.

To avoid any nasty surprises, find out in advance how the wedding day and the speeches will be organised. Because things may be a little different to what you expect.

Here are some smart questions to ask the Groom before you get started:

• What’s the date of the wedding (basic but crucial!)
• Where do the speeches fit into the overall schedule?
• Who else is scheduled to speak and in what order? (Usually it’s the Father of the Bride, then the Groom, then the Best Man, but there are lots of possible variations.)
• Are there any specific time constraints you need to be aware of?
• Are there any topics that the Groom would prefer you to avoid?
• Are there specific stories the Groom will mention in his speech (so you can avoid duplicating them in yours)?

The Groom may not have all the answers to hand, but just getting a few answers can give you confidence to start working on your speech.

Step 2: Brain-dump Lots of Ideas

Once you’re clear about how your speech will fit into the wedding day schedule, and you’re aware of any important constraints, it’s time to start generating some ideas.

During this early phase, it’s best to focus on quantity rather than quality of ideas. I call it “brain dump mode”.

You don’t need to worry about structure or flow or anything like that, you’re just getting some raw ideas scribbled on a writing pad or typed into a document on your computer.

Your aim is just to generate as many possible topics as possible that could be used somewhere in your speech.

(Imagine these as the basic building materials you’ll use to assemble your Best Man speech.)

Here are some questions to ask yourself while in this mode:

• How did you first meet the Groom?
• What are his best (and worst) qualities?
• What are the most memorable moments from your friendship?
• What are the “running jokes” you share?
• What makes him and his new wife a good match?
• What advice do you want to pass on to your friend?
• What tips can you give his Bride for life with him?

More so than other speeches in the traditional wedding line-up you’ll want to look for ideas that present an opportunity for humour.

Remember: a genuinely funny Best Man speech isn’t just one that’s littered with off-the-shelf jokes. It’s one where you draw humour from real-life observations and situations that are specific to your friend.

(For more help with generating ideas, you can also check out my list of Best Man Speech Prompts.)

Step 3: Decide on a Suitable Structure

Now that you’ve generated some raw ingredients for your speech (and hopefully far more ideas than you will need!) you’ll want a structure to contain them.

There are lots of different structures you can use, and the best one will depend on the ideas you have generated.

Here are some possible structures:

• Chronological — if you’ve known the Groom for a long time you can structure your speech around key phases of his life: e.g., school days, early adulthood, first job, etc. It’s usually best to work your way forwards from your earliest memory to the present day.
• Perspectives — another option is to look at the Groom from a few different perspectives. For instance, what’s he like as a friend, as a sportsman, as a travelling companion, as a drinking buddy, etc.? What’s he like in his professional life compared with his personal life?
• Characteristics — you could also organise your speech according to the Groom’s most striking qualities or characteristics. You could talk about his loyalty, his determination, his sense of fun, his ambition, and so on, illustrating each one with examples and stories.

Note: Different structures will also give your speech a different “feel” so think about the style and tone you’d like to aim for.

You can also combine these structures to suit your needs. You could even choose a more novel structure driven by a big idea.

For instance, what if you structured your speech as a fairy tale with the Groom as an intrepid hero who has to overcome different challenges to win the heart of the princess (his Bride)?

Or you could structure your speech as a business presentation, complete with PowerPoint slides, which describes the “features and benefits” of the Groom as if he were a new product.

If you’re not sure what structure to use, look at your list of brainstormed ideas and see if they fall naturally into a set of categories.

Step 4: Organise Your Ideas

Looking at your chosen structure, write 3 to 5 headings for the main body of your speech. (You’ll add an introduction at the start and a toast at the end later in the process.)

Then pick the best ideas from your brainstormed list and start to drop them underneath the headings or sections of your speech.

What this looks like in practice will depend on whether you’re working on paper or on your computer. (Writing single ideas on sticky notes and moving them around between different headings or sections can be very effective.)

However you organise your speech, keep an eye on the balance between different sections…

If a section has too many ideas, you’ll need to trim it down.

If it doesn’t have enough ideas, you’ll either need to cut the whole section or generate some more ideas for it.

Here’s what a simple outline of your speech might look like:

Introduction

• Introduce myself as the Best Man and childhood friend
• Make a joke about how weird it is to see him dressed so smartly
• Apologise in advance to the Bride for what I’m about to reveal about Jason

School days

• Tell the story of us meeting on the first day of secondary school
• Talk about how I was always getting him in trouble (and how one teacher told his parents I was a “bad influence” on him)
• Talk about the temporary falling out we had when we fancied the same girl

University days

• Describe how he went off to university and I got a “real” job, but we stayed in touch even as we took different paths in life
• Tell the story of the messy weekend when I visited him in his student accommodation for the first time (and I got him into trouble — again!)
• Say how proud I was the day he graduated with a first class degree (but I had to buy the celebration drinks because he had no money left)

Working life

• Talk about how getting a job was a wake up call for him after his “cushy” three years as a student
• Say how none of his friends really understand what his job entails and how we all suspect he’s really a spy (like a really boring version of James Bond)
• Tell the story of the lads holiday we took after his first year at the company and how he got food poisoning on the last day and spent most of his first day back in the office toilet

Give him some credit

• Talk about how he’s a loyal friend who’s been a great source of support during hard times
• Talk about the time he used his annual bonus to pay for a big night out for all his friends to thank them for their generosity when he was a skint student
• Compliment him on his work ethic and the success he’s created for himself in life

Talk about the Bride

• Describe the time he introduced me to Caroline for the first time (and how I didn’t make the greatest impression on her)
• Tell the story of the holiday to Turkey where he invited her along and I got to know her properly (and had the chance to make a better impression)
• Talk about some of the personality improvements I’ve seen in Jason since he started dating Caroline

Raise a toast

• Wish them much happiness for the future
• Raise a toast to the couple

Step 5: Write Your First Draft

Once you’ve organised your speech ideas into a rough outline, it’s time to create the first full draft of your speech.

This isn’t so you can memorise the speech perfectly, but it helps you decide if the speech flows smoothly.

Write your speech out in long hand if you prefer but I find it easier to type it into your computer and move sections around as needed.

Start with an outline like the example given above and then start to expand each of the main points into sentences and paragraphs.

Tip: If you’re entering your speech on a computer and your software supports it consider using the dictation feature to create the first draft. It’s an effective way to write your speech in the same style that you speak.

Try not to agonise over the exact wording of each of the points. Your goal is just to get a rough version of your whole speech written down.

Once your speech is around the right length too long as fine consider doing some editing based on the following questions:

• Is each section of my speech roughly the same length or do some sections get too much attention and others not enough (i.e., it’s unbalanced)?
• Do the sections flow smoothly into one another or do I need to use more transitions (sentences or short paragraphs that link one idea to the next)?
• Is the overall structure effective or does it need a rethink?

Once you’ve finished this step you should have a full draft that, with some additional editing and polishing, you’d feel happy giving at the wedding.

Step 6: Practise, Revise and Repeat

Once you’ve completed your first rough draft, it’s time start practising your speech to see how it sounds and flows when spoken out loud.

You have a few different options during this stage of your speech preparation:

• You can just read the speech to yourself and see how it sounds.
• You can make more of a performance of it and practise in front of a mirror.
• You can film yourself on your smartphone and watch yourself back at your leisure (warning: watching yourself can feel awkward at first but the discomfort quickly fades!)

As you practice your speech out loud you’ll find that some sections flow better than others. You’ll realise that certain ways of phrasing certain sections are fine on the page but turn into tongue twisters when spoken.

Have a pencil to hand and make notes over any sections that need tweaking to make them easier to perform.

Note: You’ll need to “rinse and repeat” to evolve your speech into the finished version.

Once you’re fairly happy with your speech content, you can give your speech in front of a trusted friend or relative to get an external perspective (not the Groom though — his first exposure to your speech should be on the wedding day).

Getting feedback from someone else will help you understand if the parts you intend to be funny seem funny to other people too. Ask them to be candid about what works and what doesn’t.

Note: Time yourself to get an idea of how long the speech will last. Add an extra 20% to allow for audience reaction and the possibility of being more verbose when giving your speech for real.

Once you’re happy with you speech there’s no need to memorise it word for word. You can always summarise the main topics of speech using small cue cards and use those as a safety net on the big day.

Go Write Your Best Man Speech!

It’s time to stop wondering how to write your Best Man speech and just get on and do it. Because the truth is that these six steps are all you need.

Why not make life easier for yourself by writing your speech over a couple of weeks, rather than squeezing it into one afternoon the day before the wedding?

Taking your time helps to give you a bit of perspective on your speech content and also gives your brain a chance to come up with some new ideas.

(You’ll have more time to practice too.)

Read More Like This

10 Best Man Jokes You Should Avoid at All Costs

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5 Things Guests Will Wonder About Your Best Man Speech

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How to Write a Best Man Speech: Examples, Templates, & Opening Lines

Whether it’s for a friend or family member, we have tips for how to write a best man speech. We’ve rounded up everything that goes into an inspiring, entertaining crowd-pleaser: jokes, quotes, themes, opening lines. From icebreakers to start and toasts to finish, here are ideas for your best man speech.

What should a best man speech include?

At the end of the day, you’re just telling your friends you’re happy for them (and the fact that the wedding is all about them should take away some pressure). So when you’re deciding what to include in your best man speech, remember: Humor is memorable, but honesty is meaningful. So aim for a combination and try to hit these key points.

• Personality: You were invited to be yourself, so don’t worry about performing. Are you a treasure trove of charming stories? Are you the calm lighthouse in a storm? Be inclusive and sensitive but be you. Let it flow.
• Examples: Be specific rather than general. Unpack the qualities you admire about the couple and when they’ve occurred (how have they demonstrated kindness or loyalty?). That will make your speech more personable vs. a list that could apply to any couple.
• Gratitude: Say thanks for being chosen as the best man and the chance to stand by their side. Toss in a few thank yous to everyone for attending, those who raised the couple, and those hosting the ceremony. It grabs your listeners, and a little schmoozing never hurts.

How long should a best man speech be?

Like the saying goes, “Be brief, be brilliant, be gone.” A best man speech should always be under 5 minutes, usually three. To keep the attention of your audience, fit it all into 750 words.

Length increases boredom, not sentiment. Trimming your speech down to its essentials means you prioritize quality, which will make your words more impactful and easier to remember. Staying short and sweet can also help with any fears of public speaking because it’ll all be over soon.

How to Write a Best Man Speech

Find a theme.

• What’s your point? What do all your heartfelt details have in common? Commitment? Fun facts? Opposites attract? This will help narrow down your anecdotes. Your theme can also influence how you structure your best man speech, like a unifying metaphor or a rhyming hook to keep it engaging.
• A few themes off the menu: Inside jokes, sabotaging roasts. Basically, anything that’s too obscure or anything that would embarrass or expose the couple. From an audience perspective, these are painful and awkward. You’re honoring the couple for making it down the aisle (a huge success) vs. reminding them of their failures or what could have gotten in the way (emotions can be high). Everyone looks good and feels good when you stick to why the couple’s bond is unbreakable.

Create an Outline

• Congratulations: The easiest intro and the whole reason you’re speaking.
• Connection to the Couple: Did you watch your childhood friend become a better person because of the relationship? Did you play a part in their romance? Did your paths cross in unexpected ways?
• One or Two Stories: Everyday moments, grand gestures. Polish these up to be intentional. How do they tie to the occasion and your theme (eg. examples of how they always showed unwavering support toward one another.).
• Acknowledge the Spouse: Dropping in compliments for the partner can emphasize why they’re a match. It helps concentrate on their union as a whole rather than a half, even if you only know one of them well.
• Cheers: You did it! Now applaud their courage to weather life’s storms together. Raise a glass and invite everyone to do the same.

How to Start a Best Man Speech

A greeting and a hearty congratulations kick things off. Here are a few prompts to start your best man speech.

• Intro: “It’s truly an honor to stand before you as [Partner’s Name]’s best man. My name is [Name], and I’ve had the privilege of being [Name]’s partner in crime since [college, childhood, etc.].”
• Embrace the Occasion: “On behalf of [Partner’s Name] and [Partner’s Name], I want to extend a warm welcome to all of you as we come together to celebrate this beautiful union.”
• Share a Quote: “As [Partner’s Name] and [Partner’s Name] embark on this exciting journey, I’m reminded of a quote by [Author] that says, ‘[Quote].’ And today, we’re here to witness the embodiment of that sentiment.”

Opening Line Ideas

After a “good evening” or a “hello,” here are a few transitions to get to the good stuff. Brainstorm with a written or verbal stream of consciousness to help identify your feelings. You can pare them down later.

• “I first witnessed their connection when…” / “I saw sparks flying during…”
• “If we were to start with the first chapter…” / “Let’s rewind the tapes to…” / “Let’s take a trip down memory lane to a time when…”
• “As I stand here, I can’t help but think of a memory that always makes me tear up/smile…”
• “Of all the unforgettable moments I’ve shared with [Name], there’s one that stands out—”
• “If there’s one memory that never fails to bring a smile to my face/tears to my eyes, it’s the time…”
• “When they first introduced me to [Partner’s Name], I saw that look. The one that says…”
• “When they first met [Partner’s Name], they couldn’t stop talking about…”
• “None of us could have anticipated…”
• “There’s a moment when you see two people together, and you can’t help but realize…”
• “I knew [Name]’s heart had found its home the moment I saw…”
• “Everything changed in their relationship when…”
• “I could tell they were ready to face the world as partners in life when…”
• “I can’t help but reflect on the beautiful journey that [Their Names] have taken together…”
• “Their love story has taught me that [qualities] are the foundation of a long-lasting partnership.”
• “Their relationship has taught me that love isn’t just a destination; it’s a journey filled with…”

How to End a Best Man Speech

Whether you give your best man speech at the wedding reception or rehearsal dinner, you can always end it with a toast. To finish on a positive, uplifting note, here are a few concluding thoughts for well wishes and looking ahead.

• “May your journey together be filled with endless love, laughter, and a lifetime of cherished memories.”
• “May your love story continue to inspire us all. Here’s to new beginnings.”
• “Let’s look forward to the adventures that await [Names]. We hope this will be the most beautiful chapter of your story together.”
• “May your journey be filled with a love that only grows stronger with time.”

Speech Tips: Do’s and Don’ts

There are standards for speaking at a ceremony. Here are the rules to live by when you want your best man speech to be unforgettable for the right reasons

• Do use notecards to feel prepared, calm the jitters, and remember all that you want to say (as long as you remain present and make eye contact). Don’t read from your phone , in case it locks in the moment, loses charge leading up to the speech, or the lighting affects photos.
• Do reference your ties to the couple. Nod to when and how you met but ultimately keep the focus on their relationship. Don’t make your best man speech about you. You were invited to share your perspective, so it’s a classy move to keep things relevant and selfless.
• Do share your unique insights. Your experience adds to the audience’s understanding of the couple as partners and as individuals. However, don’t be inappropriate. You might know the skeletons in their closet but skip anything they wouldn’t want shared or would warrant an apology — like their past relationships. It’s mostly to ensure your anecdotes would play well across any age, culture, or relationship context (grandparents, work friends, flower girl).
• Do speak from the heart. It’s sweet, sincere, and makes speech writing that much easier. But don’t force emotions. Whether it’s jokes or mushy stuff, if neither are in your wheelhouse, you don’t have to be anyone other than the person they invited.
• Do rehearse out loud at least two months in advance so you can practice tone, timing, and pacing. They can all aid your confidence. You might even run your speech by a friend or film yourself for feedback. And since it’s a big day for the couple, don’t wing it. With words at the ready, there will be less risk of feeling flustered or saying something cringe.
• Do take it seriously. It can still be lighthearted, but it’s a huge honor to be asked to speak at a wedding. Proof of some time and effort in your speech returns the thoughtful gesture (the same goes for limiting yourself to one drink beforehand). Don’t be nervous. Even if you’re afraid of public speaking or not usually one for getting sappy, try to see your best man speech as an exciting opportunity.

Example Prompt Ideas

Here are a few best man speech ideas to keep the atmosphere light and joyful while celebrating the couple’s uniqueness.

Nothing wrong with straightforward and authentic.

• Timeline: The couple’s love story from how they met to their engagement. Emphasize the nostalgic moments that made their relationship special. You can highlight their growth as a pair or as individuals — how they’ve changed since they’ve met, and/or what has stayed the same.
• Shared Interests: How their passions have brought them closer together and how they’ll continue to enjoy them in married life.

Depending on the formality of the guest list and the wedding venue (beach vs. church), you can loosen your black tie when it comes to humor. But you’ll want to be respectful and give the couple a heads up.

• Predictions: Playfully imagine scenarios for what the couple’s future might hold.
• Old Photos: A fun way to remind them how far they’ve come.

Whether it’s from a role model in your lives (coach, relative, etc.), or an adage from another language, it’s common to borrow a bit of filler for your best man speech.

• Wisdom: Advice for a successful marriage based on experiences or observations. You can customize fortune cookies for laughs.
• Famous Words: Pull from any movies or authors with guiding tidbits, e.g., “Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” “Love is not just something you feel, it’s something you do.” “Love is not about finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can’t imagine living without.”

Best Man Speech Templates

Memories of your time together through thick and thin, and how your friendship has remained constant.

“[Friend’s Name] and I have shared countless adventures over the years, and our friendship has survived every challenge, even [memory]. They’re the kind of friend who’s always there when you need them, whether it’s [example]. That’s why I know they’ll be an amazing partner to [Partner’s Name].”

For Younger Brother:

As an older sibling, look to your brother’s future. Talk about the exciting things that lie ahead: travels, career accomplishments, life milestones, etc. Share your pride.

“I can’t believe this day has finally arrived. It feels like just yesterday we were [childhood memory]. But as the years went by, I watched as my little brother met [Partner’s Name] and transformed into the incredible person they are today.”

For Older Brother:

Speak to how their support has shaped you, or what you learned by watching them face life’s challenges first.

“[Brother’s Name] has always been more than a brother to me. I’ve always looked up to [Brother’s Name] for [their characteristics], and now they’ve found a partner who [balances or complements these traits]. That’s why they’re perfect for each other.”

For Cousin:

Express your happiness for their partner joining your family traditions or how they’ve become an integral part of them.

“Growing up as cousins, [Cousin’s Name] and I had a bond beyond family ties. So when [Partner’s Name] came into the picture, I knew my cousin found their missing puzzle piece. I’m so excited for [Partner’s Name] to join our family vacations and holiday gatherings.”

Talk about the importance of togetherness; how the couple’s union represents two families merging to become one. Or offer tongue-in-cheek parental advice.

“My father has always been dedicated to family. He was always willing to go the extra mile for his loved ones. The love he shares with [Partner’s Name] is a testament to the trust and respect that you’ve instilled in our family.”

Final Thoughts

A best man speech is a rare chance to dig deep, get vulnerable, and tell those close to you how significant they are in your life. These prompts and templates can all get you started, but with the nuances of your relationship and theirs, you can make the tradition all your own. Best of luck!

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• How to Write the Best Man Speech

Need help writing your best man speech? The Zola experts are here for you. Read on for our top tips and advice

By Deanna deBara

Last updated February 5, 2024

A wedding is not only an opportunity for two soon-to-be spouses to walk down the aisle , say their “ I do’s, ” and mark the beginning of their life as a married couple; it’s also an opportunity for the people who love them most to celebrate them and their relationship on their wedding day.

And, if you’re the best man , you’ll have a major part of celebrating the happy couple by giving the best man speech at the wedding reception.

The best man speech is your chance to share your best wishes for the newlyweds with all of the wedding guests in attendance.

But, what exactly should you say on the actual wedding day?

Let’s take a look at how to write a perfect best man speech:

Start Writing Early

Writing a best man speech takes a good amount of thinking, planning, and effort—and you want to make sure that you give yourself plenty of time for that thinking, planning, and effort.

Writing your best man speech the week of (or the day of!) the wedding isn’t an effective strategy. Not only are you going to feel stressed out, but if you write your speech at the last minute, chances are that you’re not going to get everything you want to say down on paper—and, as a result, your best man speech won’t be as heartfelt/touching/funny/composed/(insert desired adjective here) as you’d like it to be.

If you’re going to be the best man, start writing your speech early—as in months before the wedding ceremony. The earlier you start writing, the more time you have to revise, change, and practice—and the more likely it is that your speech will go off without a hitch on the big day.

Consider the Tone of Your Speech

There are a lot of different ways in which you could write a best man speech. You could go straight for the heart and write something emotional and touching; you can infuse a funny story and inside jokes to get a laugh from the couple; or you can keep things simple, straightforward, and to the point.

So, before you start writing, you should spend some time considering which of those vibes you’re going for at the wedding ceremony.

Setting the tone before you start writing your best man speech can help streamline the writing process; for example, if you know you want your speech to feel more emotional and heartfelt, you might consider incorporating memories that illustrate how much the groom and/or couple mean to you. If you want to go with a more humorous tone, you can start by writing out all of your most hilarious stories—and seeing which of them are the most likely to get the couple (and their wedding guests) laughing on the big day. The idea is to make it personal and to say some kind words at your friend’s wedding.

Can you have different tones at different points throughout your speech—such as an overall humorous speech with a few touching moments for good measure? Of course. But, if you want your speech to feel cohesive, you should set a primary tone—and make sure that you carry that tone throughout as you write your speech.

Start Strong

As the old saying goes, “you only get one chance to make a first impression”—and, for your best man speech, that means you need to capture people’s attention from the very beginning.

Starting your speech strong will ensure that you immediately hook the guests, wedding party, and newly married couple—and that they’ll be engaged and attentive for the rest of your speech.

“Starting strong” can mean a variety of things; depending on your speech’s tone, you might start with a particularly touching story about the couple or a funny story to break the ice. But, whatever you decide to start with, make sure that it grabs the audience’s attention from the get-go, which will make it easier to keep their attention for the rest of your speech.

Incorporate Your Favorite Memories

The groom (or bride) asked you to be the best man for a reason; chances are that you have a long history with plenty of happy, hilarious, and fun memories. And your best man speech is the perfect time to share those memories.

Incorporate at least one or two of your favorite memories with the groom, bride, and/or couple into your speech. Not only does sharing memories in your best man speech work from a storytelling perspective (everyone loves a good story), but it will also remind the couple of how special and important they are to you, which is exactly what a best man speech is supposed to do.

Keep Things Appropriate

Sharing memories in your best man speech is great—as long as those memories are appropriate.

Remember, this is one of the most important days of the newly married couple’s life—and all the most important people in their life (including family, friends, and colleagues) are going to be there, listening to your speech. The last thing you want to do is embarrass them or offend someone they care about.

So, if you have any memories that have even the slightest potential of upsetting or offending anyone (which, as a rule, includes anything involving excessive drinking, drugs, sex, or past relationships), leave it out of your best man speech.

Write, Practice, and Revise

A key part of writing the best speech is, you know, actually writing it down.

Even if you’re a person who does well speaking on the fly, you want to write your speech from beginning to end. That way, you have more control over what you say, how you say it, and when you say it.

Then, once you have it written down, you’ll want to practice it—and practice it out loud. Reading your speech out loud will help you get a better idea of how it flows, and help you identify any areas that need to be tweaked, adjusted, or revised.

And, just like you want to start writing your speech early, you want to give yourself plenty of time to practice and revise before the big day. Again, the more time you give yourself to work on your best man speech, the more comfortable you’ll be giving the speech at the wedding (and the better it will be as a result).

Writing (and giving) a speech can feel a bit scary for a lot of people. But, now that you know exactly how to write the perfect best man speech, all that’s left to do is get out there and get writing.

Up next for you

How Long Should the Best Man Speech Be?

Make sure that your best man speech isn’t too long—or too short with this guide.

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How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be? Tips & Tricks

How long should a best man speech be? The answer depends a little on what you want to do. Here’s the quick answer:

The best wedding speeches are between four and eight minutes long.

But those two minutes in the wedding day could fly by if you’re naturally outspoken or you could feel like you’ve got five minutes of pure hell to make it through this speech for the happy couple.

Here are a few stats about public speaking to show you what I mean:

• Around 75% of people feel some level of anxiety about public speaking.
• 90% of the worry people experience comes from lack of preparation.
• Most people speak at about 140 words per minute.

So, if you get your act together and write about 600 words down, you’ll have the perfect speech length and avoid the worst anxiety by feeling prepared.

Still not sure how to get the best speech length? Read on and I’ll tell you all you need to know.

Table of Contents

How long should a best man speech be – key takeaways.

There are a few main things you might want to keep in mind to be a great public speaker:

• Talk for about 4-7 minutes. This is plenty of time to make the most of the speech but shouldn’t be so long people get bored.
• Four to seven minutes is about 700-1,000 words. That’s your goal to write.
• Think in chunks of text about 100 words long. This breaks down your speech into manageable writing sections and will help you maintain momentum during the speech.

How to Organize Your Speech Structure

The best best man speech is actually going to feel a lot like one long funny story. But you don’t have to think of this as one thing. Instead, you’re going to want to string together a few personal stories about your mate and the married couple. The best approach is to think of eight things. You’ll want a good intro, six stories, and a good ending.

Best man speech template

Want a quick fill in the blank outline? Here’s a great six to eight minute speech outline:

• Congratulate the wonderful couple: Take about 50 words to say how gorgeous the bride looks and point out how scruffy the groom is. Be a bit tongue in cheek – people will love it.
• Origin Story: Tell the wedding party a little about how you and the groom came to know each other. Give your bromance about 100 words.
• Trouble in the past: One of the classic speech ideas is to tell stories of the trouble you and the groom got into in the past. Keep these funny anecdotes to about 100 words, though.
• Throw in a success story: You’re the best mate, so big up your groom with a nice story about something he’s done well. Don’t go on too long, though – just 100 words or so.
• Hooking up with the bride: No – you better not hook up with the bride! But it would be great to include something about how you first met the bride and groom at the dating stage. Throw in another 100 words for this tale of love at first sight.
• There was never a doubt: Since the bride and groom met, what have you seen or heard them do that was funny? Tell a short story in 100 words or less about it.
• Don’t forget the bad jokes: There’s got to be something funny about the lovely couple. Add in a bad joke or two, but not more than 100 words worth of comedy gold.
• End with a heartfelt toast: Everyone wants to feel good, so finish with a nice toast to the bride and groom. Keep it short, though – you only need about 50 words.

How to Pick the Right Material for Your Speech

I write for a living and I can’t stand looking at a blank sheet of paper waiting on the ideas to come. When you’re thinking about your best mate’s wedding, you don’t want to be stuck drawing a blank, either. So here are some tips for choosing the right material and making it work for you.

Create a list of memories and ideas

Start by making a long list of memories and ideas you can include. Don’t worry about whether they are good or bad. Just make a list of everything you can think of about the groom and his new bride. If you’re struggling for ideas or memories, then have a look at social media or old photographs. You’ll start to remember some things in no time.

Look for a theme or a hook

Now, with a list of ideas, try to find a common theme you can talk about. This will bring all your ideas together into a single story. For example, if you’ve been friends with the groom for a long time, then you could talk about how you’ve always taken care of him, like Leonard looked after Sheldon in TBBT. Get some laughs by including stories about how much of an idiot your groom used to be. Then, talk about how the bride and groom are made for each other like Sheldon and Amy. Some bad jokes about their shared nerdiness and you are good to go.

Narrow down the ideas to a curated list

Curated just means picked out and selected carefully. Now that you have a bunch of ideas, look for the six or seven winners. Here’s what you want to look for in a good story:

• Pick something that isn’t an inside joke or requires a lot of background info. Not everyone will know the bride and groom as well as you do.
• Choose content for stories that can be done briefly. You don’t have five minutes to tell extended stories – you’ve got one minute. Don’t choose things that cause you to ramble.
• Include your favorite stories. If they entertain you, then they will be likely to entertain others as well.

If you follow these three little guides, you’ll have enough material for a speech that will make wedding memories for everyone present.

How to Prepare Note Cards

You could try to write everything down on a single piece of paper or memorize your speech. This could be a disaster, though. You might lose the paper or have a few drinks and forget what you memorized. A better idea is to create a cue card for the key beats of your speech. 

Here’s how to do it:

• Create a cue card for each point in your outline by writing a title across the top of the card.
• Write out the story or text on each card in full. The title might be enough to jog your memory, but the whole text is there if you get nervous.
• Number your cards at the bottom. Adding a number will certainly help if the cards get mixed up and out of order.

Three Quick Public Speaking Tips for Your Best Man Speech

These aren’t gimmicks, like picturing everyone naked. Imagining your best friend’s mother-in-law with no clothes on might be horrifying. Or maybe not…?   

At any rate, here are three really good tips for making a great speech.

Plant your feet

Don’t wander all over the place or sway back and forth like a drunken sailor. Plant your feet on the ground, shoulder width apart, and keep them there. This will give you the absolute maximum presence, so take advantage of it.

Look at the audience

Make eye contact with them. Don’t look down at your notes too much if you can help it. The best thing to do is to talk to one person at a time. So, make eye contact with someone in the audience and tell them a small part of your speech. Then move on to another person. It will be over before you know it.

Talk to the back row

One of the worst things in a bad speech is being unable to hear it properly. Whether you have a microphone or not, speak up and speak out. Picture an old woman at the back of the room and then talk loud enough for her to hear you. Don’t make her too deaf, because you don’t want to be shouting! But speak loud enough for everyone to hear clearly.

Wrapping It Up

Like a great speech, this article needs to come to a solid end. Plan your speech to be about four to eight minutes long. Follow the simple little outline I gave you and you cannot go too far wrong. Want more help? Look up some speeches on Google and YouTube! Stagmadness can help you plan an epic stag party but we can’t write your speech for you!

Veronika Tomasikova

Stag expert since 2019 Veronika has dedicated herself to exploring and sampling all the adrenaline-filled activities, bars and clubs to ensure only the best make the cut! With over 3100 Bachelor Parties organised her know-how guarantees an Epic trip!

How to Write a Best Man Speech – Full Template With Examples

It’s the moment you’ve always been waiting for: your best friend or brother has asked you to be his best man! But as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. And in your case, that responsibility is writing a truly epic best man speech. To help you with this daunting task, we’re breaking down everything you need to know to give an unforgettable best man speech — plus some examples and templates to get you started!

We get it, public speaking can feel downright terrifying. But when done right, a best man speech will instantly light up a room and earn you allllll the best friend points. No pressure or anything! In this guide, we’re here to help you nail your moment in the spotlight with all the best man speech FAQs, advice, and examples you could ever need. Let’s get into it!

Table of Contents

Best man speech faqs, our best advice for writing the ultimate best man speech, the foolproof best man speech template and examples.

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If you want to write a best man speech that leaves the room in tears (of laughter or joy, take your pick!), the first step is preparation. This isn’t the type of best man duty that you can leave to the morning of the wedding — procrastinators, we’re looking at you!

So, to help you knock it out of the park, we’re breaking down everything you need to know to write an unforgettable best man speech. From the best topics to cover to the best topics to avoid , here are all of our best man speech FAQs!

P.S. This is just an overview to get you started. Keep scrolling for our complete template and examples that you can use to write your own epic best man speech!

Is the best man required to give a speech on the wedding day?

As best man, you’re in charge of more than just standing next to the groom (and looking fly) on the big day — you’ve got responsibilities, my friend! And in addition to rocking a great ‘fit , keeping the other groomsmen in check, and getting everyone in the party mood, one of those responsibilities is giving a killer best man speech.

While the best man isn’t required to give a speech on the wedding day, it is a fun tradition that goes back decades. This is your chance to share your love for the newlyweds — and tell a few funny stories about your best friend while you’re at it!

Because of this, the happy couple (and the guests) will likely expect you to stand up and say a few words, but if you’re extra nervous about public speaking, feel free to talk to the love birds about skipping it. They may have another tradition or ritual that you can do instead of a best man speech.

Still searching for the perfect ‘fit for the big day? We’ve got you covered with this list of the most stylish suits for groomsmen !

At what point in the wedding day does the best man speech happen?

Traditionally, the best man speech takes place during the reception after the groom (or couple) has given their toast. This is when everyone is gathered together, the good vibes are rolling, and the drinks are flowing. It’s the perfect time to congratulate the couple and get the party started!

While this is the traditional timing for best man speeches, the couple may have different preferences based on their wedding timeline. It’s always a good idea to check with them ahead of time to ensure you’re fully prepared for your moment in the spotlight.

What kind of topics should you cover in a best man speech?

When it comes to best man speeches, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. Every speech is different, just like every couple is different! But no matter which direction you choose, you want to focus on congratulating the newlyweds and expressing your love for the happy couple.

While you probably have endless crowd-pleasing stories about the groom, it’s also important to spotlight the couple as a whole, instead of writing your entire best man speech about your friend.

Do you have a funny story about the groom asking his S.O. out on their first date? Or a sweet anecdote from when he told you he found “the one?” This approach will help them both feel special on the big day — and earn you brownie points with both sides of the guest list!

P.S. We’ve included more specific examples to write about in your best man speech down below, plus a template to get you started!

What topics are off-limits during a best man speech?

Remember: this a wedding, not a bachelor party! When writing your best man speech, the goal is to keep it classy and appropriate for all ages, while still injecting a bit of your personality into the toast. It’s a delicate balance, so here are a few topics to avoid on the mic!

• Super personal or embarrassing stories: Sure, you might have some hilarious anecdotes about the groom, but if they might embarrass the couple or their families, then they’re better left unsaid. After all, this is a celebration of love, not a roast!
• Controversial topics: Whenever you’re giving a speech (and especially at a wedding filled with your best friend’s loved ones), you should avoid anything that could be considered controversial or offensive. This includes jokes or comments about religion, politics, race, gender, or sexuality. Even if you think you’re being funny, you don’t want to risk offending anyone in the audience.
• Past relationships: If there was ever a time to not talk about an ex, it’s at that person’s wedding. No matter how good the story is, bringing up the couple’s former flames during the best man speech will only ever be awkward when they’re sitting next to you in their wedding best.
• Inside jokes: The most successful best man speeches are the ones that make the entire audience smile, laugh, or tear up. To keep your speech inclusive and engaging for everyone in the room (not just your friend group), avoid those inside jokes that you “just had to be there” to get.

How long should a best man speech be?

For best man speeches that make an impact, shorter is usually better. As a general rule, aim for around 3 to 5 minutes (about 750 words). This is long enough to cover the essentials and tell a few great stories, without losing the audience’s attention. Anything longer, and you might risk people getting distracted or bored — especially if the speeches are taking place later in the evening.

When writing your best man speech, always focus on the quality over the length. With such a short window, you want to make every word count. So practice your delivery, time yourself, and aim for a speech that’s heartfelt, fun, and concise.

When in doubt, aim for a best man speech that’s short and sweet, rather than super long. Attention spans at this point in the wedding day are limited!

Does your best man speech have to be funny?

No, your speech doesn’t have to be funny, and jokes are by no means a requirement. It’s easy to feel pressured to turn your best man speech into a stand-up routine, but this definitely isn’t necessary. If it doesn’t feel natural, then it’s always better to stick with a heartfelt and authentic approach that reflects your unique relationship with the newlyweds.

On the other hand, if you are the class clown of the friend group, then humor is always appreciated! A crowd-pleasing joke or two during your best man speech will keep the good vibes going — just be sure to balance them with sincere and heartfelt sentiments. At the end of the day, you want to be yourself, speak from the heart, and let your personality shine.

Who does the best man thank in his speech?

Aside from the anecdotes and words of love, best man speeches should also include a few heartfelt thank you’s. It’s best practice to express your gratitude to the newlyweds, as well as the loved ones who made this day possible. This could be the couple’s parents, their (other) best friends, and anyone else who played a big part in their relationship.

And finally, get the crowd on your side by thanking all the guests for being a part of this special celebration. Without their love and support, the day wouldn’t be complete!

So, where do you start? You don’t have to be a skilled speech writer to write a best man speech that wins over the room. That’s where we come in! We’ve seen our fair share of killer best man speeches, and we’ve made a note of all the do’s and don’ts to follow during your time at the mic.

By the end of the best man speech, the crowd should feel like they know a little bit more about the couple’s love story — and be excited to spend the rest of the night celebrating them (you’re basically their hype man!).

Keep scrolling for our top tips for writing a best man speech that checks off ALL these boxes and more. We see a standing ovation in your future!

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1. Craft an Outline for Your Best Man Speech

One thing you shouldn’t do when giving your best man speech? Wing it. Before you step into the spotlight, spend some time crafting an outline for what you’re going to say.

I know, I know, this tip might be bringing you back to your days in English Lit class. But it’s a surefire way to ensure you cover all the essentials, without rambling on and on. Plus, it could be as simple as writing down each section of your best man speech, plus the main points you want cover in those sections — from the funny intro to your favorite anecdotes to the people you want to thank. Done!

P.S. We’ve included a template down below to make writing an outline for your best man speech a little easier!

2. Consider the Formality of the Wedding When Crafting Your Best Man Speech

Not sure which tone to take for your best man speech? Let the formality of the wedding be your guide. For example, a laid-back beach wedding is the perfect opportunity for a funny best man speech filled with witty jokes and wild stories, while a black tie optional affair may call for something a little classier.

The formality of the wedding may also depend on who’s in attendance. A small crowd filled with the couple’s best friends and closest family members will allow for a different type of best man speech than a large guest list that includes their co-workers, neighbors, and distant relatives.

Read the room, and don’t be afraid to ask the love birds beforehand about how formal to make your best man speech.

3. Brainstorm a List of Your Favorite Moments With The Groom and the Couple

How did you first meet the groom? Was there a moment or experience that bonded you together? Were you there when he first laid eyes on his other half? What are your favorite memories with the three of you together?

Do a brain dump of all these moments before writing your best man speech, then sift through them to pick out the best jokes, anecdotes, and sentimental moments to share with the crowd.

4. When Crafting Jokes, Choose Ones That Will Have Wide Appeal

As we mentioned before, the best examples of best man speeches bring the entire crowd in on the joke. You and the couple may have an incredible inside joke that will have you all on the floor, but if it leaves the rest of the room in crickets then this may not be the best time for it.

Instead, choose jokes that everyone will enjoy. If it will make the groom’s grandmother and the flower girl laugh, then you have yourself a winner. And if you do want to include a few inside jokes, balance them with some crowd-pleasing cracks — or give the crowd a little backstory about what makes this joke so funny to the couple.

5. Run Your Best Man Speech By Someone Else in the Wedding Party

So, how do you know if your jokes (or the rest of your best man speech, for that matter) will have widespread appeal? Recruit some test subjects first!

Ask someone that’s close to the couple to listen to your speech before you present it to a room filled with people. This could be a bridesmaid, a fellow groomsmen, or a close family member. These are the people that know the couple just as well as you do (and have some knowledge about the wedding), so they’ll have better insight about what works, and what doesn’t.

Not only will this help ensure that your jokes land, your speech flows, and your anecdotes hit home, but it will also give you a chance to practice speaking in front of other people. Which brings us to our next tip…

6. Practice Your Best Man Speech (And Aim to Put it To Memory!)

Before giving your best man speech, be sure to follow the three P’s: practice, practice, practice. Say the speech in front of the mirror, in front of a few friends, or in front of a video camera to gain confidence and get your inflections + hand gestures just right.

You can even do a mini dress rehearsal in your suit to get a feeling for the big moment. Practice your best man speech with a microphone (or a hairbrush!) and imagine you’re in the venue. When you visualize your speech going well, you’ll feel more prepared for the big moment!

We also recommend trying to memorize your best man speech. There’s nothing worse than someone reading from their phone or a stack of notecards — this can make the speech feel stiff and awkward (and doesn’t look great in photos). By memorizing it, you’ll be more present in the moment and the delivery will feel more natural.

GWS Pro Tip: If you struggle to memorize things or want to have a few notes to help with your nerves, then swap your notes app for a classy leather journal instead. This mini one is the perfect pocket size, and it’ll look great in photos!

7. Remember to Breathe and Take it Slow

When you’re nervous, you may want to rush the delivery to get the speech over with as fast as possible. But this will only make you feel more anxious, and it’ll make it harder for the audience to get the full impact of your best man speech.

Before you start talking, take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves. It also helps to focus on taking pauses throughout your best man speech — especially after a good joke. This signals to the audience that it’s time to laugh, and it gives them a moment to let your comic genius sink in.

Grab your pen and paper — it’s time to start writing your iconic best man speech! To help you create your plan of attack, we’ve designed a template that covers each section of your best man speech, plus specific examples to get you started.

Whether you want your best man speech to be funny, sentimental, or a mix of the two, this template will guide you in the writing and delivery process. From an opener that will get people laughing to a final toast that will inspire tears of joy, we’re covering all the bases.

So without further ado, here’s our template to help you write the best best man speech of all time!

1. Craft an Opener for Your Best Man Speech That Really Hooks Them

It’s always best to start your best man speech by introducing yourself — but that doesn’t mean your opener has to be boring! Spice it up with a funny one-liner, a heartfelt quote (this could be from a movie you and the groom love!), or a fun fact about you and the couple.

Don’t forget to keep the focus on the groom (or the couple as a whole), even as you’re introducing yourself. The crowd is here for them , so give the people what they want!

GWS Pro Tip: During this introduction, avoid talking about how nervous you are (even if you’re currently shaking in your dress shoes). Act confident, and you’ll look confident!

Best man speech example that will get everyone laughing: “There comes a time in everyone’s life when they meet their soulmate. The person who will love them and put up with them for the rest of their life. That moment came for [groom] 15 years ago when he met me.”

Best man speech template for a clever one-liner: “Good evening, everyone! I’m [name], [groom]’s best man, and I’m pretty sure I’m only up here because I know where all the embarrassing photos of him are hidden.”

Best man speech example that instantly hooks you: “As [groom’s] brother, I’m here tonight to tell you three things you never knew about [groom]. Sorry in advance mom and dad.”

2. Keep the Mood Light-Hearted With a Crowd-Pleasing Joke

If you didn’t include a joke in your opener, now’s your chance to get the crowd on your side. Remember: your best man speech doesn’t have to be a stand-up act. If you’re not a natural comedian, don’t force it — but a little laughter will go a long way to break the ice and keep spirits high.

When in doubt, balance your joke with some heartfelt sentiments. This will come across as more authentic, especially if you’re not the jokester of the group. Here are some examples you can steal for your best man speech!

Best man speech example for super tall grooms: “I’ve always looked up to [groom]. He follows his heart, he does the right thing, and he works hard at everything he does. But mostly, he’s 6 feet tall, so I have no choice.”

Best man speech example for couples who met online: “Before I continue, I wanted to give a quick shout-out to tonight’s sponsor: Tinder. Without you, we wouldn’t all be here this evening. So cheers to Tinder, and [groom’s partner] swiping right on [groom’s] fishing picture!”

Best man speech example for grooms with a beard: “[Partner’s name], you look beautiful today. [Groom’s name], you didn’t even shave!”

3. Tell One or Two Personal Anecdotes in Your Best Man Speech

Next up: storytime. This is where you should give a little more backstory about how you know the groom, and share some anecdotes that will make the crowd fall even more in love with the couple.

We get it, you probably have hundreds of stories that you could tell about the groom. How will you ever narrow it down?! When choosing which stories to write about in your best man speech, it helps to stick to a theme. This will ensure you stay on track and give your speech a well-rounded feel.

Some fool-proof themes are:

• What first bonded you together (college antics, brotherhood, coffee, you name it)
• All the ways the two of you are opposites (this is a fun way to compliment and poke fun at the groom)
• Funny facts the guests don’t know about the groom or the couple
• Why the love birds are perfect for each other
• Inspiring metaphors for marriage (ie: adventure, dreaming big, finding your other half)

Ultimately, you should tell 1 to 3 stories during your best man speech that sum up the kind of person the groom is, and why his partner is his perfect match. Here are a few examples to help you start brainstorming.

Funny best man speech example : “The groom and I have been friends for a long time, and we’ve had some pretty wild adventures together. And while I can’t share all of them here today (for legal reasons), I thought I’d tell you about one that really sticks out in my memory….”

Best man speech example about the couple’s meet-cute: “When [the couple] first met, I knew they were made for each other. It was obvious that first night when we were at a karaoke bar and they both sang Disney songs. Actually, I think the only person who didn’t know was [groom]. We suffered through months of googly eyes and hearing [partner’s name] in every sentence, just waiting for him to catch on. So when he told me that he was going to ask her out — and then, a year later, that he was going to propose — all I could say was: Finally.”

Best man speech template for brothers or childhood friends: “We’ve been through a lot together, but some of my favorite memories are of us camping every summer in Canada. Even though [groom] was always scared of a moose crashing through our tent while we slept, we still had some amazing adventures. From fishing in the lake to roasting marshmallows by the campfire, those summers were unforgettable. And now, as [groom] starts a new adventure with [his partner], I know he’s ready for anything — even a moose!”

4. Balance Your Best Man Speech With Heartfelt Sentiments

Once you’ve told one or two anecdotes, it’s time to dig deep, get heartfelt, and talk about how special the groom is to your life — and how great it is to watch him find his life partner. Don’t be afraid to get a little corny!

While all templates will be different, here are a few key points to cover during this part of the best man speech:

• Highlight what you love about the groom and admire about his love story
• Compliment the groom’s other half
• Express your gratitude to the couple for including you in their celebration
• Thank anyone else who made this day so special, including the couple’s parents (especially if they’re hosting the wedding) and the other members of the wedding party. You can also shout out the guests in attendance!

Sentimental best man speech example : “[Groom] has always been my partner in crime, my camping buddy, and my best friend. He’s always been the fearless one, and now he’s found a partner who’s just as courageous. I have no doubt that they’ll continue to blaze new trails together and create unforgettable memories along the way.”

Best man speech template for thanking the couple and the guests: “I’d like to thank everyone who came today to celebrate the happy couple. It’s a true testament to [the couple] that you’ve all taken the time to come and witness their marriage. I’d also like the thank the two of you for allowing me to be part of such a special day. That’s a lot of blind faith in my public speaking skills. Especially when there’s an open bar involved.”

Best man speech template for complimenting the love birds: “[The couple] takes hashtag couple goals to a whole new level. They wake up early to go to the gym together, come home and cook healthy meals, and make financially sound decisions for every part of their life. Now that you’re married, you guys can probably stop showing off. But in all seriousness, it’s something special to find your perfect other half. And that’s worth celebrating.”

5. Congratulate the Newlyweds and Wish Them Luck for Their Future

As you wind down your best man speech, be sure to congratulate the couple on their marriage and wish them luck for all their adventures ahead. Instead of giving a quick “congrats,” we love the idea of calling back to a story or joke from earlier in the best man speech. This will tie everything together in a perfect bow!

Heartfelt best man speech congratulations example : “Congrats to the newlyweds. You’ve found someone who loves you for who you are, and that’s a beautiful thing. I know that your marriage will be filled with love, laughter, and plenty of bad dad jokes.”

Best man speech congratulations example for adventurous couples: “Congratulations on finding the person who is game for every adventure that comes your way. I wish you both a lifetime of unconditional love and unforgettable experiences.”

Best man speech congratulations example for an unforgettable quote : “In the words of Forrest Gump, ‘I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.’ And I’m looking at it today. Congratulations to the happy couple.”

6. Close Your Best Man Speech With a Toast

This is your grand finale, so end your best man speech with some fireworks! As you write your final toast, think about what you want your main takeaway to be. Are you hoping for light-hearted laughs, tears of joy, or a resounding “Awwww “? Take some time to write a closing statement that’s short, sweet, and full of love.

GWS Pro Tip: The best toasts invite the crowd to congratulate the couple with you. Use words like “we” and “us” instead of “I” to bring everyone together for this final moment.

Best man speech example for a sweet send-off : “So let’s all raise a glass to the newlyweds. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may you never run out of things to laugh about. Cheers!”

Best man speech example for a final laugh: “So let’s all raise a glass to the most important people here. The bar staff. [Pause for laughter] For [the couple], cheers to a lifetime of love and laughter!

Best man speech example for all the happy tears: “So let’s raise a glass to [the couple’s] love. John Lennon said, ‘A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.’ Cheers to all your dreams coming true.”

Attending a Few Weddings This Season? Check Out Our Best Guides.

Wedding season is upon us, and we’re here to help you get ready for all those celebrations of love in your future!

To start, show the couple some love with our list of the best wedding gifts that will wow any newlyweds — plus this round-up of epic engagement gifts for love birds who just popped the question.

And if you’re in the process of picking out the perfect ‘fit, make sure you’re sticking to the dress code with our ultimate guide to semi formal attire . We’ve also created black tie optional wedding guide for those fancier affairs!

Did this guide inspire you to create the greatest best man speech of all time? Make sure to get it on video and tag us on Instagram @greenweddingshoes with the final product!

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Amazing Tips & Themes For Your Magical Wedding

The Ultimate Best Man Speech Guide (Examples And Templates Included)

Being picked to be the best man is such a great honor. You will feel blessed that the groom has thought of you, and considers you the best man and friend for the job.

But, as the wedding draws nearer, there’s one thing on your mind. No, it’s not the bachelor party… It’s the best man’s speech(see also: Best Ways to End Your Best Man’s Speech ). 

As the best man, you will likely have many responsibilities in the run up towards the wedding. You’ll have to try on suits, organize the bachelor party, but the best man speech is the thing that most look forward to, or dread!

A best man speech needs to hook the audience in, reveal some funny stories about the groom, and even the bride, but also wish the couple well, and spread some laughter amongst the audience.

But, you have to do all of this in one single speech that can’t be too long, and can’t be too short! 

So, how can you nail the best man speech? Well, that’s where we come in handy. We can offer you this ultimate guide to creating a best man speech, including tips, structure and examples you can take inspiration from. 

How To Structure A Best Man Speech

If you’re unsure of how to go about planning your best man speech, then we can help you out with this simple structure to follow and keep yourself on track. 

This structure is a sort of guide, you don’t have to use it, but it’s a good idea to follow the structure so you cover all bases when doing the speech.

A good best man speech begins with:

Try introducing yourself with a funny one liner about who you are and how you know the happy couple.

After you’ve had your fun, balance this out by saying something meaningful and sincere about the groom, his qualities or your friendship. 

Best Man Speech Do’s And Don’ts

There are definitely a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to speaking at someone’s wedding. You’ll want to keep it concise, funny, but not too over the top jokey. Here’s our recommendations of what to do, and what not to do. 

First things first, you’ll want to plan ahead, and write a few stories and anecdotes down that you can remember. Do this for a few weeks before the wedding, so it gives you time to come up with the right memories to share. 

You should also consider who this speech is going to be said around.

If the groom’s very traditional great aunt or grandma is there, it could be a good idea to avoid any crass, rude stories that could make family members uncomfortable. Save those lines for the bachelor party! 

Do pause for reactions. You don’t want to talk too fast or fly through the speech as those who have laughed at the last line may miss the next one. Always leave small gaps or pauses for reactions, applause or responses. 

Finally, make sure you focus on the couple, not just the groom.

This day is about the two of them. While you are doing a speech because you are the best man to the groom, it is important that you bring in the bride/partner in your speech so that overall you are wishing both of them well on their new adventure. 

What Not To Do

Don’t use foul language, or inflammatory language. You don’t want to cause a dark cloud over the event by offending anyone or causing a scene.

The same goes for mentioning exes (who could well be at the wedding) or bringing up sore subjects during the speech. Keep it fun, lighthearted, and hilarious. 

This is far more impactful and will really get the audience involved in your speech. 

Finally, and this is an important one- don’t make it about you. This is not your shining moment, your time will come.

It’s a chance for them to see the couple in a different light, from your perspective, not learn everything about you. 

Tips For Writing A Best Man Speech

We’ve also got some brief tips for writing and performing your best man speech!

Qualities To Talk About In The Best Man Speech

For instance, if you’re talking about the groom’s thoughtfulness, use funny anecdotes that relate to this, and bring it back to that whenever possible.

You want to talk about his great qualities, poke a little fun, or share a funny story, but then talk about how these qualities have translated into his relationship with his partner, or how they have brought them closer together. 

Best Man Speech Examples

Good evening everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Tom, younger brother and best man of the groom. For those of you that do know me…heeeeeeey! 

In all seriousness, I have always looked up to my big brother. He’s always had a flair for sports, and genuinely has a heart of gold.

Being the youngest of the two of us, Jack has made me a better man, mainly because of the character building he put me through as a child. Jack would love taunting me by stealing my favorite stuffed animals. 

I was so excited to see our little furry boy happy and playing with his toy until I realized that Jack had offered up Mr. Snuggles in sacrifice with a huge grin on his face. It was a day I won’t forget. 

Despite the taunting and the terrorizing, Jack has been the man that I’ve always aspired to be. In all of the years I’ve been around Jack, he’s always been tenacious and worked hard for what he wants. And he’s always gotten it.

With Jack being the older, but not often the wiser brother, he managed to get himself into some mishaps in the past.

When he did finally get a chance to take Jenny out on a date, he turned up at the wrong house, and managed to slip and break his shoulder all in one fantastic, first meeting with the parents.

With Jenny at his side, Jack’s clumsy mishaps are less and less. You truly bring out the best in him, Jen. I would say welcome to the family, but you’ve been a part of our lives for some time already, and I am truly blessed to be able to call you my new sister. 

From day one, you’ve fit right in, as you too have taken on the role of teasing Jack just as I wanted. Let me tell you guys, there have been many pranks that Jenny and I have pulled off on Jack.

Other times, we’ve hidden around the house just when Jack is coming home from a long day at the office, to ambush him with Nerf guns until he pleads for mercy! Let’s just say justice has been served for Mr. Snuggles. 

I quickly realized that Jenny and Jack were cut from the same mold. You two are a real example of what it means to marry your best friend, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the two of you.

Hi everyone! For those of you who don’t know me already, I am Zach, the best man of James! When James asked me to be the best man I felt like it was such an honor.

Then he reminded me that it’s not just about organizing the bachelor party and I have to actually come to the wedding so…here I am. 

Just kidding. Me and James have been through thick and thin. I’ve watched him go from a weedy, awkward teenager to a less weedy, awkward adult!

Britney would probably argue with me over the adult part! James has always had that boyish sense of humor that’s often gotten us into trouble over the years. 

He’s probably carving out some obscenity in the wood I thought.

This is why it came as such a shock when later that day it was I who was called into the principal’s office, and as I walked with my head hung in shame to my fate, James smiled wide and proudly.

Ever since that day, James and I have been at war with one another to get the other one back! But deep down, I know that James would do anything for me. If I needed someone at 4am, James is that friend.

Despite our differences, I know he’s as good as family to me, and all of the Henderson’s have welcomed me into their home on many occasions, and now Britney gets to have that same privilege. 

In all seriousness, if Britney gets half as much joy in being married to James, that I have had in being his friend over the years, then she will be incredibly lucky indeed. 

On behalf of all the groomsmen, bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank James and Britney for having us be a part of their special day. I know how hard you’ve worked to make this a day to remember, and you’ve definitely succeeded. 

Hello everyone. My name is Joe and I’d just like to thank John for finally confirming that I am in fact – the best man, after 20 years of friendship. 20 years is a long time.

Just think, back then…Low rise jeans were in fashion, Spiderman was the favorite superhero, and Ben Affleck and J-Lo were together. So really, nothing has changed in 20 years, and the same goes for our friendship. 

I remember one time in college, we decided that reading books and writing our own essays just wasn’t for us anymore. We decided to pay someone to write us an essay, and we would switch it up to pass the class.

Since then, I’ve realized what a tenacious person, good friend and loyal individual John was, and it’s an absolute blessing to be up here with you tonight as your best man. 

So, if you wouldn’t mind joining me in raising a glass to John’s mom, who can’t be with us today, but is with us in spirit. Cheers. 

In addition, I’d like to thank both Mia’s parents, and John’s dad who have helped make this day extra special for the happy couple, which I’m sure they are eternally grateful for. 

Finally, I’d like to thank the groomsmen for organizing and completing the best bachelor party Miami has ever seen. I only hope it was the send off John was hoping for before he begins the next stage of his life with Mia. (But I highly doubt it) 

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an announcement to make. If there is anyone here tonight that is feeling nervous, apprehensive, or maybe even a little nauseous at what lies ahead…then it’s probably because you’ve just married Adam. 

Before I start the character assassination that is my best man’s speech, let me just thank Adam and Olivia for having us be a part of this very special day.

Our time at University was one of the best in my life, and I’ve far too many stories to tell you about our lovely Adam here. 

And why wouldn’t he be? All those who know Olivia know what a lovely, and caring person she is. She deserves a good husband. Thank god Adam got there first before she could find one! 

Adam was at my side within SECONDS…to let me know he caught my fall on video. Emergency Medical Services *Scoff*. Only when he saw the angle of my ankle did his medical training kick in.

Hello everyone. My name is Kane, and I am the best man, and longtime friend of Rob. I was, however, somewhat surprised to be asked to be the best man, as Rob has never been able to admit this over the years.

I asked friends and family for advice, and according to tradition, I am supposed to sing Rob’s praises and tell you all about his fantastic qualities. Well, sorry to tell you, but I can’t sing and I don’t lie. So that’s out of the window. 

His willingness to do anything for anyone, without accepting anything in return is what makes Rob extra special, and a joy to be around. 

Looking back, I was probably a big nuisance always wanting to go play over his house, but I had some of the best time of my life growing up with Rob by my side. We’ve been there for every big moment of each other’s lives.

I can’t think of anyone better to look after my Rob here, and I know he will do everything he can to look after you for the rest of his days. 

Best Man Speech Frequentl Asked Questions

Does the best man have to do a speech, when does the best man’s speech happen.

The best man speech will typically happen after the groom has said a few words. However, every wedding is different, and the bride and groom may organize the day differently depending on how they think the speeches should flow. 

How Long Should A Best Man Speech Be?

What should you include in a best man speech.

There are a few things that you should include in the best man speech. This is who you are, and how you know the bride and groom.

Who Should You Thank In A Best Man Speech?

To summarize, writing a best man speech is not all as bad as it seems.

Now, instead of stressing out about what you are going to say, how you are going to say it, you can look forward to the wedding planning process in the run up to the big day, and most importantly…the bachelor party!

Lisa Plaitt

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Writing a Best Man Speech: Outline and Guide (+3 Examples)

• by Marisa Jenkins
• January 24, 2024

Being chosen as a bridal party member —especially as a best man or maid of honor —is a big deal. You have been given the opportunity to support someone in such a momentous part of their life. Your role comes with plenty of responsibilities, including making a speech at the reception.

Having an outline for your speech as a best man can be really helpful when you start writing the draft. Here is a classic and timeless example of an outline:

• Self-introduction
• Short icebreaker ( optional )
• Stories about the groom
• Talk about the partner
• Talk about their relationship
• Well-wishes and advice

Below is a more detailed explanation of each part of a best man speech outline, followed by a step-by-step guide—with tips—for writing the speech itself. Some examples are also provided to help you in the process. 

Best Man Speech Outline: Easy Template to Use

Greet everyone present (1–3 sentences).

Before anything else, make sure to greet the guests, bridal party, and vendors at the venue. Acknowledge their presence and the effort they put into being there on the newlyweds’ special day.

You can keep this part brief but upbeat to get your guests engaged and listening to your speech as a best man.

Example : Hey everyone! Thank you for making the time and effort to attend Ben and Stephanie’s wedding.

Introduce Yourself (1–2 Sentences)

At the reception, odds are most people—but not all—will know who you are. For everyone’s benefit, briefly introduce yourself and your relationship with the newlyweds.

Example : For those of you who don’t know me—first of all, how dare you? Kidding aside, my name is Ryan Drews, Mike’s best friend and life coach. We’ve known each other since high school.

(Optional) Short Icebreaker (1–3 Sentences)

If you feel like you still need to capture your guests’ attention, consider adding a short joke or anecdote before you get into the body of your best man speech. You can get a good laugh and set the tone for the rest of the speech. 

Example : Honestly, I was a bit nervous about giving this speech. People said it should only be as long as Gavin’s attention span. So… I guess that’s all for my speech, goodnight!”

Personal Stories and Memories With the Groom (1–3 Paragraphs)

Share a personal story that showcases your relationship and closeness with the groom. It does not necessarily have to be relatable, but make sure the memory will highlight the groom’s personality and positive traits.

You can also talk about the groom’s growth and development over the years. How much has he changed? How has he changed? Shed light on the positive changes you have observed since he and his partner got together .

Example : [Compare the groom’s personality during high school and today. He might be more mature, patient, and mentally strong than before. If you have one, share a story that illustrates these changes.]

Talk About the Partner (1–2 Paragraphs)

Do not forget about the star of the night—the other newlywed. Talk about your first impressions, the day you were first introduced, and any striking memories you have with them.

Example : [Where did you meet each other for the first time? Did you have dinner somewhere? What did you think of her initially, and how did this impression change?]

Talk About the Newlyweds (1–2 Paragraphs)

Compliment the couple and talk about their relationship. Highlight their strengths, share how you think they complement each other, and tell them how they make you—and everyone around them—feel.

Example : You two are an example of how a healthy dose of annoying each other can actually go a long way in making a relationship better. But all jokes aside, you guys inspire everyone around you to be kinder to one another and themselves.

Conclusion: Well-Wishes and Advice (1–2 Paragraphs)

The last part of a best man speech’s outline can contain well-wishes, advice, or both. Share any wisdom you have regarding marriage, and tell them that you are praying for the best for their future.

Example : Always remember that marriage is a two-player game: both of you must put in the same amount of effort to keep the game going. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Linnehan! May the future be bright and boundless for you. 

Writing a Best Man Speech: Steps and Tips to Follow

Step 1: Gather Material by Reflecting

Take a trip down memory lane and think about your relationship with the groom over the years. Write down any funny stories, milestones, and incidents that come up.

At the same time, think back on what you know about the groom’s relationship with his partner. How did they meet? How did you meet his partner for the first time? What makes their bond and journey special?

As you reflect, think about their qualities as individuals and as a couple. These traits will be a great addition to your best man speech.

Tip: Start Early

Do not leave your speech as a best man to the last minute. Ideally, start brainstorming and thinking of what to say as early as a few weeks before the wedding day. This will give you plenty of time to write, revise, and revise some more.

Step 2: Structure Your Speech

The outline above will help you structure your speech. However, feel free to add any personal touches or make changes to the order.

Tip: Decide What Tone You Want to Use

Spend a moment to decide how you want to deliver your speech. Do you want to be funny and witty? Do you want to sound casual? Do you want to flex your poetic muscles? Do you want to incorporate multiple styles and tones?

Step 3: Start the First Draft

Eventually, you have to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). Write everything that comes to mind, letting your past reflections guide you as you compose your best man speech.

Do not worry about making it perfect on the first try—no one ever gets it perfect on the first try. Let yourself word vomit until you have written everything you have in mind.

Tip: Do Not Go Too Heavy With Inside Jokes

Although you understandably want to show how well you know the groom and make your guests laugh, avoid sharing inside jokes. Everyone will not get it without explaining the necessary context; you simply may not have the time to do so.

Step 4: Edit and Refine Your Draft

Start with any obvious grammatical errors. Fix faulty subject-verb agreements, incorrect uses of prepositions, and whatnot. You can use apps like Grammarly or built-in grammar checkers to help you with this part.

As you go along, read the speech aloud or in your head to see if there are any awkward spots. You may have to rephrase certain parts or rearrange sentences to make your speech flow better.

Be patient with yourself, as it might take multiple revisions before you get a speech you are satisfied with.

Tip: Keep It Concise

Aim for a best man’s speech that does not exceed 4–6 minutes. Any more than that and you risk losing your guests’ attention.

Step 5: Practice Giving the Speech

After a few revisions, start practicing the speech out loud. One benefit of this is that you will spot more ways to revise your speech to make it better. 

At the same time, a practical tip is to mark points in your speech where you will pause for a moment and take a breath. This will make the delivery more relaxed and natural-sounding.

If possible, ask for a close friend or another bridal party member to listen to your speech. They can give you constructive criticism and feedback to further improve the content and your delivery.

Tip: Read the Room

As you practice your delivery to a test audience, pay attention to how they react to what you wrote. They might think that a certain anecdote is too embarrassing for the groom or that your speech has more humor than sincerity.

You might unintentionally humiliate yourself or the groom if you include stories that are too personal. Likewise, you might come across as insincere or performative if you try too hard with your speech.

Adjust your speech and delivery accordingly. As mentioned above, the revision process never stops—even as you give the speech at the reception, odds are you will make a few changes off the cuff.

Step 6: Make the Final Preparations

Print a few copies of your speech on high-quality stationery, as it is good to have extras in case something happens. If nothing else, it can be a wonderful keepsake for the newlyweds.

Make sure to have some positive coping mechanisms for stress as well. Look into breathing practices to help you manage your anxiety and stage fright.

Tip: Engage the Audience

Do not just read off your copy, since this will make you sound robotic. Pay special attention to making eye contact with guests, pausing for reactions, and ad-libbing when the opportunity presents itself. 

Speech from the Best Man: Heartwarming Examples

1. Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for just a few moments? Before I continue with my speech, I want to thank everyone for being here tonight. We know it isn’t cheap to attend a destination wedding, so we do want to make it clear that we will not be offering any rebate or cashback.

Anyway, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Brian Mills. Nolan’s my cousin, and he has given me the honor—and stress—of being his best man. We actually only became close in high school when we both tried out for the basketball team.

Needless to say, both of us didn’t get in. We did continue practicing in our free time. These games allowed me to get to know Nolan better.

A lot has changed since then, huh? In high school, Nolan was wild, impulsive, and a bit irresponsible—we both were. Now, though, Nolan is reliable, clever, and puts everyone’s needs before his.

I remember when Nolan first introduced me to Lisa. His eyes were lit up in a way that I’d never seen before… not even when the Lakers won that championship in 2020! The more I got to know Lisa, the more I understood how perfect they are for each other; they’re both kind, adventurous, and passionate.

Lisa, I want to officially welcome you to the madness that is our family. We promise not to share too many embarrassing stories… at least until after your first anniversary.

Kidding aside, I have never seen Nolan as happy as he is with Lisa. You both bring out the best in each other, and it’s clear to all of us here that you share a love that is deep, genuine, and enduring.

So, let’s raise our glasses in a toast to Nolan and Lisa. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever. Cheers!

Thank you, everyone. Enjoy the rest of your evening!

2. Good evening, everyone! How’s your night going so far? I hope the food and drinks are all to your liking; we worked very hard tasting every dish our lovely caterer had to offer.

I’m Alex, and I have the great privilege of being David’s best man. Before I start, let’s give another round of applause to the beautiful couple. David, my man, you look sharp tonight! But I think I speak for everyone when I say: Emily, you’ve definitely stolen the show.

I’ve known David for almost 20 years now. We first met in middle school, and our friendship has been a rollercoaster ride ever since. From camping trips that turned into survival missions to late-night study sessions that rarely involved studying, I can say we’ve had our fair share of memorable moments.

But today, I want to focus on the biggest adventure David has had: his adventure with Emily. I still remember the day David told me about Emily. He said, “There’s this incredible woman.” And he was right. Emily, your kindness, intelligence, and sense of humor make you a perfect match for David. And David, well, I guess he isn’t too bad.

Together, you two are like a fine wine—you just keep getting better with time. David, you’ve found your soulmate in Emily. Your partnership is a testament to what every love should have—support, laughter, and a lot of patience (especially when David tries to cook or crack a joke).

Emily, welcome to our small, silly, but very loving friend group. You bring out the best in David, and for that, we are all grateful.

David, I have one piece of advice for you as you enter this new chapter: a happy wife is a happy life. Always remember that.

As we stand here in this beautiful venue, surrounded by friends and family, I am reminded of a quote I once heard: “Love isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about realizing that an imperfect person can make your life perfect.”/

So, let’s raise our glasses to David and Emily. May your life together be filled with endless love, laughter, and luck. Cheers!

Thank you, everyone. Let’s make this a night to remember!

3. Hi, everyone! I just want to take a few minutes of your time to say some words about our lovely newlyweds. My name is Charles, and Manny chose me as his best man.

The love story I’ve witnessed over the past six years is nothing short of magical. First of all, their growth as individuals is very laudable; I’ve seen Manny go from a slightly reckless and clueless college student to a calm and collected man. I can confidently say that Jenny’s presence has been transformative to Manny.

Jenny, it is clear that you and Manny are soulmates. Thank you for taking care of him, keeping him in check, and humbling him whenever he needs it.

May your love be a sturdy lighthouse amidst a rough and rowdy sea, shining a light that will guide you through the darkness and unpredictability of life.

Congratulations to you two! Cheers to the future!

Final Thoughts

Being someone’s best man is a huge honor; it means you occupy such a special part of their life they wanted you to have this major role in their wedding.

When preparing a best man speech outline, the most important thing to keep in mind is authenticity—stay true to yourself. If you want to write an amazing, unforgettable speech, just focus on pouring your heart onto paper. Everything else will follow.

Marisa Jenkins

Marisa Jenkins is a wedding planner and event coordinator. Her main goal for WeddingFrontier.com is to simplify the wedding planning process by sharing her years of expertise in the industry.

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Best Man Speech: The Definitive Guide to Smashing it

by Catherine D July 12, 2019

Here’s all you need to deliver an incredible and unforgettable best man speech.

Congratulations!

You’ve just been awarded the highest honor a bro can receive.  You’re the best man! And that’s an honor greater than being knighted by the queen. But I’m sure you know what comes with it.

You’ll have to give that best man speech brosef!

Though, you won’t want to give just any speech off the top of your head that nobody is going to give a damn about.

Just remember what Uncle Ben said to Spidey, “With great power comes great responsibility”. It’s that serious, man.

You’ve probably seen best man speeches like this before. The guy stands up, hits the glass and says something, uninspired, about how he’s bros with the groom, congratulates the bride-to-be, and then sits down.

Or maybe you’ve seen another kind of speech, where the best man stands up and talks about nothing for 10+ minutes, putting you to sleep, because who even cares?

During a reception, there are about a million different things going on. People will forget the things that do not grab their attention, especially at a reception.

Everyone there is busy talking, eating, laughing, and will not care or even remember a boring speech in a few days. But not yours, my friend, you’re going to be the star of the day.

In this guide, we give you everything you need to know in sequence - from the writing process, all the way to delivering that wedding toast. Get your notepad ready for some very important tips on giving your wedding toast!

So How Do You Write the Best Man Speech?

The hardest part is always just getting started. Here are some basic tips on how to write a best man speech so that you can be prepared and dominate when the time comes.

Be Prepared and Plan Ahead

Practice makes perfect. Creating a fantastic speech doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re going to wow the audience, you’ll need to make sure you’ve done everything you possibly can and covered every base - and man, that takes time.

Generally, 2-3 months is the right amount of time to give yourself when writing for a best man speech to account for the overall writing process and potential rewrites.

Considering all of the events that follow, like the bachelor party and the suit fitting, you’ll be too busy in those final moments to prepare a killer best man speech that’s even half decent.

Record Every Thought

You might be on the bus or in your car and think of an incredible quote or one-liner to say in your wedding toast, but our memories are very limited.

It’s difficult to remember what you even had for lunch two days ago, much less something you thought up some random time.

No matter where you are, record your thoughts. You could write in a journal, use your iPhone’s “Voice Memos” app or an app like Evernote . Scratch them onto a napkin, carve them into a stone near you, just get those wedding toast ideas down!

As long as you start capturing your thoughts, you’ll eventually reach a gold mine.

Think of this more as ‘capturing’ than ‘writing’. It’s easier to capture your raw best man speech ideas than banging your head on the wall trying to ‘write’ something from scratch.

Keep a Positive Tone

When it comes to the best man speech, the main thing to keep in mind is the goal of what you want to accomplish - celebrating the bride and groom. Here are some things to focus on:

• Your best experiences with the groom.
• How great a pair the bride and groom are.
• The best qualities of the groom.
• Possible first thoughts on the bride when they met (If they were good thoughts!)

Focus on the best of times, and further expand upon those points the best you can and maybe you can use those for a few wedding jokes!

With that in mind, here’s what not to say:

What Not to Talk About in Your Speech

While you may be writing to make your groom laugh, you need to remember your audience is diverse. You have children, elders, and teenagers so you wouldn’t want to write something inappropriate.

Generally, it’s best to avoid things like these:

• Any previous relationships.
• Anything about drugs, alcohol, gambling.
• Perverse topics, or anything of a sexual nature.
• Harsh negativity.
• Inside jokes that are too specific.

The idea is to avoid anything raunchy or disheartening during your speech, even if it might be hilarious in your head, you’ll have to avoid it in your best man speech.

Think about how upset Grandma would be if you happened to talk about how her little Jimmy actually hasn’t been saving himself for marriage - what horror!

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

So you have a great speech, and you’ve covered every single talking point that fit. Everyone’s going to love this, right?

Wrong! When writing a best man speech, you’ll want to keep it way, way shorter.

The problem is that what you wrote is almost 30 minutes long! No bueno amigo. Nothing on this Earth could keep people engaged in a wedding toast that long.

You’re not going for a ‘F.D.R. Repairing the American Psyche During The Great Depression’ type of speech. What you want is more like an ‘I Love You, Man’ speech.

It seems like everyone from everywhere throws out an arbitrary number ranging from 1-10 minutes, but really, research shows our attention span is even shorter than a goldfish .

Which means you have 8 seconds to make an impression . Let that sink in.

The best man speech is usually between meals at a reception. That means you have to make your mark - and get in what you have to say in a short time. Meaning that short best man speeches are perfectly fine, you don’t have to overthink it.

It can be 1 minute, it can be 5 minutes.  Keep the audience engaged in your speech and don’t ramble off unnecessarily.

How do you do that? Practice!

It’s All About Practice

You know, it’s okay to feel unsatisfied with what you wrote. After all, you’re not the most accomplished writer in the world. You just want to prepare a great best man speech and get back to Netflix binging.

The writing process can be tough, so here’s an ideal approach that most people use when writing the best material:

• Write a few pages of content just to get the speech ideas out.
• Realize that you’ve written a movie's worth of material.
• Take what you really like.
• Edit until you stop hating it.

Being intimidated serves no purpose.

Get Interviewed Bruh

If you’re not the best writer (or capturer), the previous steps might seem a little intimidating to you. That’s fine. Not everyone can put pen to paper as well as they’d like, and if that’s you, consider having a friend interview you!

Getting a friend or family member to interview you about your experiences with the groom is a great way of getting wedding speech ideas. Here are a few topics to get interviewed on:

• Where did you meet?
• Did you like each other at first?
• When did you become bros?
• What kind of crazy experiences did you have together?
• What kind of bad qualities does he have?
• What kind of good qualities does he have?

Answering these questions with a recording device can help you when you need to put the best man speech together, and you can recall things you might never have just by writing!

Be (Relatively) Sober

Even if you have a Wade Boggs alcohol tolerance, it’s best to keep the drinks to a minimum.

( The guy drank 64 beers on one cross country flight, what the hell? )

Having one or two drinks is fine if it helps calm the nerves, but any more will mess up any chance of giving a decent best man toast, and you’ll just look silly slurring your words or acting strangely. Remember, all eyes are on you during your best man speech.

Try Some Best Man Speech Jokes or Quotes

So suppose you’ve got your speech together, but you have a placeholder like:

[ Put a joke in here! ] in 3-4 spots, and you really have no idea what to put in there.

We got you covered.

Here are some best man speech opening lines you could work with and personalize for whatever you may need, because the opportunity for wedding jokes is a rare thing! These make great icebreakers to warm your audience up.

“Well, where do I even start? [Groom] is just incredible. He’s brilliant, funny, caring… Anyway, I can’t really read your handwriting [Groom], so just tell me whatever the rest was after.”

“[Bride], you really are an incredible woman. You deserve an absolutely incredible husband, so I’m not going to stop until I figure out what’s wrong here.”

“Thank you everyone for bearing with me, I Googled ‘best man speech jokes’ and every site asked for my credit card before showing me any examples, so here goes nothing.”

“For those of you who know the bride, she’s really a wonderful woman who deserves a wonderful man. So good job, [Groom], for marrying her before she found one.”

“For anyone who finds this speech particularly not funny, I got all of my jokes from [Groom] so please, blame that guy.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t given a microphone tonight and I deeply apologize. To anyone in the back, If you hear silence at the front, be sure that you’re not missing anything.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin this speech I’d just like to say I am absolutely thrilled that I beat the bartender at rock-paper-scissors twenty minutes ago for the honor of best man.”

Putting Together a Best Man Speech Outline

Now that you have an idea of how to write a best man speech, it’s just as important to know how to structure it. While there are canned free best man speech templates out there, it's really best to get a bird's eye view on what you want to say and create a structure that works for you personally. Don't just take any random free speech template from online and fire it up. Not every outline or template will work for your needs, so get a good idea of your vision first then begin to structure it.

Flow matters, and it’s the most important thing in putting together great best man speeches. Without good flow, you’ll lose the crowd and people won’t follow what you’re saying.

Here are some great ideas to nail the best man speech structure and make your speech shine.

The Introduction

The introduction needs to serve a single purpose: Getting people engaged! This is the key aspect of any best man speech formula.

The One-Liner Approach

An incredible one-liner is a great way of getting started. A good idea for this would be to roast the groom a little bit, he probably wouldn’t mind.

For example, what faults does he have? You can take advantage of that to make slight jabs at him.

Or you can even make fun of yourself in the process, what do you both suck at? Maybe you want to talk about that awkward mullet phase you both had in high school. Live it up!

The Congratulatory Approach

Alternatively, you can open by showing gratitude to:

• The bride and groom, for bringing everyone together.
• The guests, for attending this incredible event.
• The parents of the bride and groom, for bringing them into this world.

This approach is a good option at the beginning. You can use it as a Plan B if you think you can’t gather an appropriate one-liner.

It’s easy to get lost in thought about what to follow up a good opener in a best man speech, but nothing is safer than a good story to engage your audience.

The idea is to create a connection to the groom and then present it to the guests.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Where you met the groom.
• What makes him a great guy.
• Crazy stories that show who he is.
• Why he’s an excellent fit for the bride.
• How he changed for the better after he met the bride.

Really, anything goes, and they’re all sure to keep people interested. Focus on the organic story of your friendship and don’t be robotic.

You’ll want to accomplish this in a way that stays kosher, though, avoiding unsavory details mentioned in our #4 tip.

Congratulate the Bride

So, you don’t have to do this, but we definitely encourage it. The issue is, not everyone really knows the bride. Honestly, maybe you met her a month ago, or a week ago.

Who knows, you could have met her literally just now. When your buddy gets hitched, it’s quite common to not really know the lady herself.

If this is true, you can handle this two ways:

Stick to something like:

“I knew she was a great fit for you the moment I saw you together”.

“She really is the perfect match for you dude.”

Sure the groom will know you barely know her, but whatever, if he really is your bro, he’ll appreciate that you’re saving face like this.

2. Avoid it.

Look, you’re the best man, it means the groom chose you, he knows you. Which means that he’s most likely expecting your best man speech to be about your experiences together, so keep the content focused around your relationship.

This means that it’s okay to avoid any mention of the bride after the first few words when writing a best man speech.

It works in most cases to just congratulate her in the intro, and then continue on with your speech avoiding her entirely.

This might sound a little underhanded, but it works, and most likely, the audience won’t notice.

If you know the bride, then speak about her.

If you’re just as close to the bride as you are to the groom, then you need to take all of the prior steps to make a compelling speech for the bride too, which won’t make the best man toast easy but hey, you don’t want to piss her off.

You could share a story about her too, or you can talk about one where the bride and groom shared with you, which is always a safe bet.

How to End Your Wedding Toast

Here’s where you wrap up your thoughts, and keep this part short, you don’t have to stress it too much.

It’s as easy as saying something like,

“Jack, Jill, to a lifetime of good health, love, and joy!”

There are a thousand different things you can say here, but the main idea is to keep the tone positive, upbeat, congratulate their love and wish the best for them.

NOTE: It is absolutely acceptable to keep a paper copy of your speech on hand because you’re not remembering your speeches like a world leader at the U.N. You’re just a guy who’s happy for his bro.

Best Man Speech Examples

Even if you have everything else down, it’s always best to have some speech examples of how to tackle your wedding toast.

People have done it before you, so why go in blind? Here are some different types of best man speeches for unique scenarios you may want to try for your best man toast.

Funny Best Man Speech (Example)

“Hello Everyone, I’m John, I’m the best man, and if you find this speech unfunny, [Groom] and I have the same sense of humor, so please blame him.

I’m just joking, of course, I promised [Groom] I wouldn’t roast him too much today or talk about anything too weird, so I’ll just talk about the good parts of his character...

...Thank you, everyone, have a great evening.

But really, [Groom] and I have been friends since before I knew how even to tie my own shoelaces. He’s a brother to me, even more than my actual brother, sometimes.

Sorry, Alex.”

Emotional Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m the best man, Chris. [Groom] and I go way back, all the way from high school. Through the years, he’s grown from a pain in the ass, into a fine man.

[Groom] was always shy when it came to meeting new people, and that’s sorta hard to hear considering how a guy like that could be such a perfect match with [Bride]. But I can’t imagine him without you, because I’ve seen what it looked like.

[Bride], you are both so dear to me, please take care of [Groom], please keep him out of trouble.”

Short Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, everyone, from the moment that [Groom] met [Bride], I knew that this was going to be something special.

The way you two talk to each other, you’re so alike sometimes that honestly, it kind of scares me.

But to quote Mark Twain, ‘To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.’ May your love be timeless.”

Hopefully these wedding toast examples give you ideas on how to model your own best man speech!

The Presentation - Delivering the Best Man Speech

You have the writing and the flow down. Great! Most of the hard work is all done.

But don’t forget, you’re delivering a best man speech. And grand statements are always accompanied by excellent speech etiquette.

Here are some best man speech tips that’ll help you deliver, so that you don’t look like an uncomfortable 4th grader at a talent show your Mom forced you into.

Practice Your Speech on Camera

You’re noticing a trend, right? Practicing the actual delivery of the best man speech in front of a camera is a great way to see what poor and good habits you have.

And then, you need to keep practicing to eliminate the bad ones. For example, do you notice that you slump too much? Do you happen to mumble? Do you look down a lot?

Take note of all of these when you look at the recording and then try the speech again while mindfully avoiding bad habits and watching out for awkwardly delivered wedding jokes.

Practice in Front of People

Sure, using a camera is an excellent way to correct issues, but there’s nothing better than getting an outsider opinion.

Getting a spectator to sit and watch you deliver your best man toast lets someone tear into your bad habits without any bias. It may be painful, but this is what you want, and a larger group of people is best.

That way, when it’s time to give the best man speech, the concerns an audience member might have are already known to you.

The Honest Truth Man

Remember that a best man speech is a celebration of the love and joy that the bride and groom share. You don’t have to stress about every minor detail, because the audience isn’t (and they’ll most likely all be drunk anyway).

They’re already lightened up, and in the mood for a good few words, so why spend your time being nervous? It’s not worth it. Enjoy yourself up there and just deliver that crushing best man toast.

After it’s through, you can start drinking again, which is what you’ll probably want to do anyway.

Say what you have to say, and raise a toast to the bride and groom. Use this guide as a helpful resource and come back to it as many times as you need to ensure a totally awesome best man speech.

Good luck on your best man speech!

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• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

How to Write and Deliver the Perfect Best Man Speech

Our three experts will help you become an all-star orator.

Photo by Sydney Noelle Photography

In This Article

Being asked to be someone's best man is a tremendous honor, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities . While you're going to be responsible for everything from groomsmen shepherding to bachelor party planning , there's one task that requires your utmost attention and efforts: giving an incredible wedding speech.

The best man's speech traditionally follows the groom's speech (if he's giving one) and may or may not follow the maid of honor's toast (generally speaking, the better orator should go second). This is a chance for you to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should expend effort crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it. Still, we know public speaking doesn't come easily for everyone, and if the thought of public speaking has your kneecaps sweating, we're here to help.

With tapped three experts—President Barack Obama's former speechwriter David Litt, wedding toast advisor Pete Honsberger, and public speaking expert LaQuita Cleare—and asked them to share the best tips for writing a perfect man speech.

Meet the Expert

• David Litt was the speechwriter for President Barack Obama from 2011 to 2016 and is the author of the New York Times best-selling book Thanks, Obama.
• Pete Honsberger has been a serial groomsman, speaker, and wedding toast advisor for most of his adult life. When it comes to wedding toasts, he's seen just about everything—you can read about it in his book, Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech .
• LaQuita Cleare is a public speaking expert and the founder of Clear Communication Academy , where she prepares CEOs, actors, and other professionals to become stronger, more engaging public speakers.

If you're hoping to write and deliver a best man speech that will blow everyone away, follow our expert-approved tips.

Photo by Glorianna Chan

Best Man Speech Template 

Getting all your thoughts and feelings down on paper can be overwhelming, especially if you're not used to sharing those sentiments with the guys. For those who are unsure of what to write for the big day, here is a guideline to help you find your flow.

Find a Theme

A theme is a unifying idea that ties the whole speech together. Think of it as the takeaway of your speech, or the one thing you want guests to remember. The best way to identify your theme is by making a list of your favorite stories. "You’re not going to just write a speech from scratch. Start by brainstorming stories. Most importantly, what you’re looking for is the theme that comes out of those anecdotes," says Litt.

Build a Framework

The best way to organize your thoughts is to create a blueprint of the key points you want to hit first, sort of like a toast skeleton. After you've established the roadmap, fill it in with pertinent details and memories while still ensuring you're staying on point. "Think about it in terms of ideas," says Litt. "You can get in one or two short anecdotes, maybe three, and one big idea. If those are good, you don’t need more."

Instead of thinking of yourself as the speaker, imagine that you're actually standing in the audience. Think about what the audience would like to hear, rather than what you want to do.

Nail the Opening

According to Cleare, your opening remarks need to be just right. Remember that you only have a few seconds to grab the attention of your audience, so make the most of them. "This can be a fun quote that the bride or groom always says or you can use the story of your relationship with the [couple] as the opening," she suggests.

Focus on the Newlyweds

Most best men will include a story or two about their friendship with the groom, but don't center the whole speech on it. "Remember the relationship that you’re celebrating is the one between the two people getting married. You’re giving the speech because you can shine some unique light on that relationship," says Litt. "If the relationship that you’re really giving the speech about is the one between you and the groom, things [will get] awkward."

Share Your Feelings

Deliver something more meaningful than one joke after another. "Generally speaking, men think of the best man speech as a funny speech to give because we’re very uncomfortable sharing how we actually feel. But, what makes a good best man speech is the part where somebody shares how they feel. Humor is just the icing on the cake," says Litt. The newlyweds chose you to speak because you have something notable to add to their big day. Embrace your personal insight into their bond and don't try to dilute it by just being funny.

Photo by Elizabeth Austin Photography

Best Man Speech Writing and Delivery Tips

Now that you have at least a rough idea of what you want your speech to be like, it's time to put pen to paper. Finished writing? Practice, practice, practice, and ensure every word you say is a good fit for the big day. After all, there's nothing worse than raising a glass at the end of your speech and hearing crickets. These tips will help you do all of that and more.

Consider Your Audience

You can't nail a speech if you have no idea who to tailor the content to. "Feel free to ask beforehand. When I was writing speeches for the president, we had a point of contact where the speech was happening to say who exactly is in the audience. You can do a smaller-scale version of that. Your point of contact is probably your friend getting married . But, the nice thing about giving the best man speech is that, ideally, it’s both specific to you and universal to the couple," says Litt.

If you're open to it, Cleare also suggests bringing other attendees into the mix during your deliver. "Don’t be afraid to involve your audience! You can pose a question to them during your speech," she notes. This is a great way to make everyone feel included.

"I would say almost never start with talking about how nervous you are. I’d also say just relax. That’s a hard thing to tell someone to do. But remember, you’re not putting on a show," says Litt. "You're simply talking about your best friend and the love of their life, two people that you've probably spent a lot of time with. In the end, it should just flow and come out easily." Litt also suggests, "imagine you’re just telling a story to a group of friends because, really, you are."

Put Down Your Notes

No, you don't have to memorize every word of your toast, but Cleare recommends that you "bring the confidence, and put down your notes" on the big day. "Don’t worry about memorizing your speech word for word. It is more important to connect, deliver with confidence and have fun," she explains. The more you can engage the audience—look at them, feed off their energy—the better your toast will be received.

Stay True to Yourself

Stick with who you are and how you would normally act around your friends; you don't need to adopt a character just because you're giving a speech. For example, if you aren't normally the comedian in the group, don't try to tell a bunch of jokes. If you're not usually a super-sentimental person, don't force it. There's nothing wrong with keeping your speech more lighthearted. The couple already knows (and loves) your personality, so the more genuine you are, the better your speech will be received by both the newlyweds and their guests.

Don't Rely Solely on Humor

While a few jokes sprinkled in can be a great tool for loosening up the crowd, don't make these the meat of your toast—especially if comedy doesn't come naturally to you. "Let me put it this way. There’s such a thing as too many bad jokes, and that number is about one. The more you treat it as an open-mic night, the less happy everyone involved is going to be. You don’t need to go in thinking, 'How do I get invited back next week?'" explains Litt.

Keep Things Positive

Even if you think it's well-meaning, don't turn the toast into a roast or make jokes at the couple's expense. "I’ve seen best man speeches where someone thinks, 'Oh, my job is to roast the groom.' Unless the couple specifically told you that’s your job, that’s not your job. The way to think about jokes is that you don’t want people to be laughing at the groom or at the couple. You want people to be laughing because they suddenly know the groom better than they did before." says Litt.

Don't Upstage the Newlyweds

Litt's previous boss (former President Obama) really enjoyed telling other people's stories at speaking engagements, and this ultimately strengthened his messages. "His speeches are not really about him. They’re about other people," says Litt. Channel Obama by keeping your speech focused on the couple. "You’re not performing. You’re there because you know someone and care about them, and you’re sharing that with a bunch of other people. Even a great best man speech is not supposed to steal the show. If somebody says, 'That speech was nice but almost forgettable because we were so focused on the bride and groom,' that’s a win. You don’t need to be the star," advises Litt.

Keep It Appropriate

"My general rule for wedding speeches is: If you have to ask yourself, 'Is this appropriate?' it’s not. And if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t know, ask a friend. If they give you that slightly horrified look, listen to that look," explains Litt. Keep in mind that your audience will include guests of various generations and cultures, like your friend's grandparents, boss, and colleagues. Refrain from mentioning anything that you wouldn't want your grandma or boss to know.

Get a Second Opinion

Remember, you'll be delivering this toast in front of an audience (as if you could forget, right?). So it doesn't hurt to get some feedback on what you're planning on saying. "If you’re the kind of person who has a track record of going a little too far with your surprises, you should be self-aware enough to run this by a third party—maybe another close friend or a friend of the bride," says Litt.

The last thing you want to do is stand up and give a speech that you've never said out loud. "The best thing to do is practice with a friend. Anybody giving a big speech rehearses beforehand. If you’ve already gotten good feedback from field-testing your remarks with a smaller group, then you’re going to come out on the wedding day comfortably knowing you have a good speech. It's that uncertainty that can be scary when you’re up there speaking," says Litt.

Cleare notes that you can practice your public speaking at any point—you don't need an occasion as big as a wedding to work on your skills. "Practice your public speaking regularly. You don’t have to wait for a big day to improve," she says. "From volunteering to lead a work meeting to giving a toast at a party with friends, [you can practice almost anytime.]"

Keep It Short

Let's be realistic: Super-long wedding toasts annoy guests. "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that ruined it.' I would say five minutes is the absolute maximum. Three minutes is fine. There’s no question that if you’re reading this, you’ve sat through a speech that was too long. But when you start writing a speech, you almost never think, 'Is this going to be too long?'" explains Litt.

Limit Your Drinks

Don't embarrass yourself by slurring through your toast. "Being one drink in works for some people, but being more than one drink in is never a good idea. At that moment when you’re like, 'You know what I need? Another couple of shots.' That is never what you need," advises Litt.

Mind Your Body Language

A telltale sign that you're nervous? Fidgety body language. Cleare suggests rehearsing not just your words, but also how you'll stand and present yourself on the big day. "Practice open body language instead of putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms," she suggests. "Using gestures while you speak will also make you appear more confident and increase the value of your message." And, whatever you do, don't forget to make eye contact with the crowd. "Your eyes tell all," Cleare says.

Photo by Elizabeth Warrick

Best Man Speech Openers

Still at a loss for where to take your speech? If you need a little help getting your speech going, our experts share a few ideas to kick-start the process. Use these openers to help get your inspiration flowing.

Introduce Yourself With a Twist

Want to tell the crowd exactly why you're the best man? Honsberger says to get straight to the point and tell them how you know the groom. Most importantly, add some flavor to the first few lines. Spice it up a bit, as anyone can do the standard, “For those of you who don’t know me….” Simply put, ask yourself what a twist would look like in your own introduction. 

“Good evening, if you’re in this room and don’t know me by now, then you’re probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I’ve been best friends with [groom] for 25 years…”

“Hello and welcome to tonight’s reception. [name of groom], YOU truly are MY biggest fan. Wait, that didn’t come out right…As I was saying…”

Crack a Joke, Even a Corny One

Remember the audience when determining whether your joke should be said, but ultimately, try and see if you can get the crowd to laugh in the first 30 seconds. To achieve this, Honsberger says to simply reach into your own bag of jokes or look one up online. "I’d encourage you to first spend a little time reflecting on your own comedic ability. If you’re coming up empty, then consult outside resources," he notes.

"Hello, I’m the best man [your name]. This entire day has been beautiful so far. In fact, I’m getting emotional. The wedding cake has me in TIERS. (looking at a three-tiered cake).” 

"You’re probably wondering why I asked you all here tonight…well, I can promise it’s not for my 'Magic Mike' performance. You’ll have to stick around to the last song for that."

Be Hilarious With a Straight Face

While still technically a joke, this is you working hard to sound serious while saying something absurd. And if you get this right, you’ll hear a little giggle immediately, followed by laughter from the rest of the crowd once they figure out what you said was a joke.

“Good evening, I am [your name], the best man and [relationship to groom] of [name of groom]. Tonight we’re in a room full of great men–doctors, lawyers, military veterans, and successful businesspeople–yet I am the 'best.' His words, not mine.” 

"As Abraham Lincoln once said, [say something outrageous than Lincoln obviously never said—an inspirational quote, movie line, piece of advice, etc.] … and that’s what brings us all together tonight to celebrate [couple's name].”

Introduce a Recurring Theme

Choosing an overall toast theme can help you start strong. If you decide that your relationship with the groom can be summed up by sports, college, vacations, a mutual love of running, or whatever fits you, that can be your theme. And if that’s the case, your opener is simply the first, or the best, story you have related to that specific topic. 

“Hello and welcome, my name’s [your name], and I’m here to talk about my amazing friends Mike and Liz. They are truly a story of opposites attracting. 

For example, Liz’s favorite food is french fries, and Mike is allergic to potatoes. Mike has an obsession with ice cream, and Liz is lactose intolerant (pause for laughter).

Thankfully, things have a way of working out, and we are gathered tonight to celebrate the most important thing they have in common…incredibly good looks. I mean, LOVE.”

Just like that, you’ve captured the audience, let them into the world of the married couple, and got them excited for the rest of your toast. 

Ask a Question to Answer Throughout

If you’re questioning your toast opener, try leaning into that approach. Instead of looking for the answer, embrace the question. Think about what you would want to know about the groom if you were a distant relative or family friend sitting in the audience, says Honsberger. What would be an interesting question to explore about the couple? Use that. 

“Good evening. My name is [your name] and I’ve known [groom] for more than [#] years. As I was preparing this toast, one question consistently rang in my mind: How do I summarize a friendship that has lasted since we [when you met]? Believe it or not, [groom] was [name a quirk or characteristic about him] back then, too.” 

“But really, how can I possibly speak to all of our experiences in just a few minutes without turning it into one big inside joke? Do I talk about …?” 

Then, spend the rest of the speech answering that question, and you’ll never lack information to share. 

Rhyme-Master Flex

Really want to capture the intrigue of everyone in the room? Start rhyming your sentences. Honsberger says he tried this in his first-ever wedding toast, and the result was an audience hanging on every sentence, wondering what the next line would be.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am Dan's younger brother, Pete. Many of you, I already know. Some, I have yet to meet.

Dan and Kate, thank you so much for this amazing chance, to speak on your special day … by the way, I call first dance. (crowd boos in jest) Sorry, but I called it! 

I’ve looked up to Dan ever since I’ve had sight. He was always bigger than me, and he was always right. 

Being the oldest of four boys couldn’t have been an easy thing. But in a house full of hyenas, Dan was the Lion King."

Read a Definition from the Dictionary

Here’s a chance to leverage one of the most straightforward and honest resources in existence: the dictionary. All you need to do is find one word that defines the couple’s relationship, says Honsberger. This can be serious and sentimental or funny—your choice. Just make sure it's relevant to the couple. 

“Google’s second definition of the word ‘love’ says, ‘A great interest and pleasure in something or someone.’ I think this is beautiful and an understatement when I think of [bride] and [groom]’s marriage. Although I was a little concerned when, under the definition, the word “love” was used in a sentence as ‘His love for football.’ Hmm, strange…”

“Who’s ready to dance tonight? Wikipedia defines the word ‘dance’ as ‘a performing art form consisting of purposefully selected sequences of human movement,’ and those words have honestly never come to mind when I think of [groom] dancing. I might be kidding, but there’s only one way to find out!” 

Tell a Story of How You Met

If the groom is a friend, chances are you have a good story of the first time you met or early in your friendship. If it’s your brother or family member, simply use one of your first memories together, whether playing, adventuring, or getting into trouble.

“The year was 1993, the class was kindergarten. I was building a beautiful tower of blocks when out of nowhere, they were knocked to the ground by a classmate without mercy or even an apology. That classmate was Matt, and we’ve been best friends ever since. And Matt, I’m sorry for throwing the blocks at your head after that.” 

Begin With a Quote

Simple and overused? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely. If you want to make the groom smile immediately during your toast, use a quote that you both recognize. If there’s one that his partner appreciates, too, even better. The most important reminder when using a quote is to ensure the audience feels like they’re part of it, too. Unless the quote is universally known, briefly mention its origin right after saying it. Let them into the joke and they’ll be with you for the rest of the toast. 

“Good evening everyone, my name is [your name], and I’m the best man tonight. When coach [name] used to tell you to ‘Be an Athlete,’ this is what he meant. When anyone on our team missed a tackle, it was ‘be an athlete,’ when our jerseys weren’t tucked in, same saying. We’ve adopted that as a cure for any issues in life. When [groom] really wanted to introduce himself to [bride], the solution was simple. ‘Be an athlete.’ And he was. So if you see [groom] miss a step on the dance floor later, be sure to remind him to ‘Be an athlete.’"

Read Something in a Different Language

Looking for a way to involve international members of the family in your toast? Look no further than practicing a phrase and reciting it in their native language to begin your toast. If that doesn’t apply in your situation, yet you still want to shake things up and be unique, you can translate a wedding-related sentence into another language. It will be intriguing, and you’ll sound smart! 

“Hello and welcome to everyone in both families on such a beautiful day. Me llamo Pedro y necesito que te diviertas porque esta boda es muy cara (wait for laughter from Spanish speakers). If you don’t speak Spanish, I said that I need everyone to have fun because this wedding is really expensive!” 

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, this speech is about the couple getting married, why you love them so much, how happy you are for them, and why you're honored to have this role in the wedding party. Keep things light, positive, and succinct—and also remember that the celebration is all about love, and no one is here to make you feel nervous. Make time to practice the speech, take a few deep breaths before you begin to speak, and focus your attention on the couple. Before you know it, you'll have given a speech for the books!

The best man traditionally speaks at the wedding reception following the maid of honor, though some couples may schedule the speeches during the rehearsal dinner instead.

The best man gives one speech either at the wedding reception or, less commonly, the rehearsal dinner.

The best man's speech serves as a special lens for the audience to better understand the groom, and the newlyweds, through his significant position in their lives. The focus should be to highlight the relationship of the newlyweds rather than the relationship between the best man and groom.

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?
• How to Write a Wedding Toast
• Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech
• currently on How to Write a Best Man Toast
• Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech
• What to Know About a Newlywed Toast
• Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips
• 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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How to Write a Best Man's Speech

Last Updated: January 17, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Patrick Muñoz . Patrick is an internationally recognized Voice & Speech Coach, focusing on public speaking, vocal power, accent and dialects, accent reduction, voiceover, acting and speech therapy. He has worked with clients such as Penelope Cruz, Eva Longoria, and Roselyn Sanchez. He was voted LA's Favorite Voice and Dialect Coach by BACKSTAGE, is the voice and speech coach for Disney and Turner Classic Movies, and is a member of Voice and Speech Trainers Association. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 2,657,718 times.

Even the most talented public speaker can get nervous about giving the best man's speech at a wedding. Being the best man is one of the biggest honors you can receive at a wedding, and you're expected to give a speech that respects that honor, makes the crowd laugh and cry, and pays tribute to the special couple on the most important day of their lives. The important thing to do when making a best man's speech is to thank people for being there, describe your connection to the groom, and to make people laugh while avoiding any cringe-inducing comments. If you want to know how to write a moving and memorable best man's speech, then see Step 1 to get started.

Sample Best Man Speeches

Writing a Special Speech

• For example, most best man speeches have a bit of humor in them for levity and to get the crowd going. But if this really isn't for you and making jokes just feels too forced, you don't have to follow that convention.
• On the other hand, if you're known for your humor and sarcasm, you don't have to force yourself to be overly sentimental. Just a few words of honest sentiment would get the message across without making you feel like you're faking it.
• If public speaking is not for you, don't be nervous about it. You can even make a joke about how much you love public speaking, or about how this is the groom's way of punishing you/getting you back for that time you made him push your car up a hill.

• Though your speech should be well prepared in advance, take a look at the crowd; if people are particularly restless or eager to drink and dance, then you may want to cut out that second anecdote you weren't sure about.
• Though it's typical for the best man and maid of honor to give a speech, there may be other speeches given out there. The father of the bride sometimes speaks, and there may be two maids of honor and thus, two speeches. And maybe even drunk Uncle Bertie will try to say a few words. If there are a number of speeches, then it's especially important to keep it short so the crowd doesn't spend all night listening to people talk.

• Don't be embarrassed about keeping a written version of your speech with you when you go up there during your big moment. Even if you don't use it as a reference, just having it there can make you feel more confident about not making any mistakes.

Delivering Your Speech

• Remember that people often videotape best man's speeches. You don't want yourself looking sloppy on camera for all of eternity.

• Depending on how the reception goes, someone else may introduce you and you won't have to do this part. But be prepared in advance in case you're given the microphone and find that your audience isn't exactly rapt.

• "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Brian, [groom's name here]'s little brother."
• "I'm Jake, [groom's name here]'s best friend. I've known him since the seventh grade, and I've known [bride's name here] ever since their second date."
• "I'm Danny, [groom's name here]'s best friend. I've known [groom's name] and [bride's name] ever since our freshman year of college. We all lived in the same hall."

• It's also nice to thank the guests for being there. You can also thank the bridal party.
• Optionally, you can also thank the bridesmaids. Mention what great friends they have been for the bride and tell them how lovely they look. You can play this for laughs a bit as long as you don't come off sounding like a total creep. You can say something about the lovely color of the dresses, how big of a help they've been during the wedding, and whatever else you can say that is quick and tasteful.

• Remember that half of the people in the room may not know each other. People should be able to find your speech funny and moving without knowing the groom or hearing an excessive amount of detail about someone they don't know. Of course, if it's a more intimate wedding and it seems like most people do know each other, then you can go into a bit more detail, if you like.
• If you're the groom's brother, you can joke around about how he used to tease you mercilessly when you were little, or how you used to give him a hard time. You can also make a joke about how not much has changed in that regard.
• Remember to keep up a nice emotional balance. You should have as many sweet and heartfelt comments about the groom as jokes. [6] X Research source

• Tell a funny story. This will not only break up the formality of the ceremony, but also help endear the couple to the audience. A great way to grab everyone’s attention would be to introduce it by saying “I'm about to let you in on a secret about the groom" or "the groom begged me not to include this story in my speech but I simply had to."
• Alternatively, tell a touching story. A particularly appropriate story might describe how the bride and groom met or something sweet that helped move their relationship forward. Since you are the groom’s best friend, this might be a good place to describe how you watched him fall head-over-heels for the bride.
• If you can't think of any appropriate stories or don't know the bride well enough to include her in one, make some observations about love or marriage in general, or about the groom's feelings for the bride. Even if you haven't spent a lot of time with the bride, you can make observations about the first time the groom told you about the bride, or what the groom said about their first date.

• Though you want to choose a humorous anecdote, make sure it is appropriate for everyone; the last thing you want is to come across as humiliating or mean-spirited.
• If you mention that time when the groom and bride broke off their engagement for three weeks or talk about how much more fun your best friend used to be before he got with his "ball and chain," then his wife may never forgive you. You don't want to sever your relationship, or put it in question, over something like saying a few thoughtless words in a speech.
• Don't make it a speech about how you first really didn't like your buddy's wife and then came around, either.
• And lastly, do not think it's funny to insult the venue or the food. Someone shelled out a lot of hard-earned cash for what you might think are tacky Christmas lights or rubbery chicken.

• You can talk about something the groom did for you. Say something like, "I'll never forget the time Mark helped me move across the country to follow my dream. I couldn't have done it without him."
• It's completely normal to find this part a little embarrassing. Just remember that this is your buddy's day, and no one's going to laugh at you for getting a little sappy.

• If you don't know the bride very well, that's okay. Instead of saying that bluntly, you can say something like, "Though I haven't spent as much time with Mary as I would have liked, I could tell right away that she was right for Jeff."

• Say something like, "Even when Mary and Jeff are on the opposite side of a room, you can feel them looking out for each other. They don't have to be glued together to have such a strong, incredible bond."
• You can also make a comment about how much you admire their relationship and have always looked for a love as strong as theirs (if you're single). If you're married, you can share some thoughts on marriage and why the groom and bride are a great match.
• You don't have to overdo it and say they are a perfect pair, meant for each other, soul mates, or the like, if you don't really feel that way. You can mention the strengths of their relationship without making it sound too forced.

• Don't force yourself to do this unless you find one that's really fitting. There's another one that goes, "Marriage isn't about looking at each other. It's about looking outward in the same direction."

• You can say something like, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast to Mary and Jeff. May they have years of joy, happiness, and health ahead of them."
• You can also say something like, "Here's to a lifetime of happiness for Mary and Jeff."
• If the bride took the groom's last name, you can propose the toast to "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson."

Community Q&A

• Make the bride's family, who may not know the groom, feel comfortable about the groom taking over his new protective role and starting a new life with the bride. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Keep mints in your pocket, as you will be getting up close and personal with many on the day of the wedding. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

• Stay sober before giving your speech. Looking like a drunk will sour everyone's impression of you and may call the groom's judgment into question. Thanks Helpful 28 Not Helpful 55
• Don't force humor. If you don't like speaking in public and aren't confident in your ability to be funny, it's much better to read a serious speech off index cards than to try to become a comedian for one night. Most jokes from "Best Jokes for Weddings" books or web sites are not funny. No one will be mad at you for not being funny enough, but every single person in the room will cringe if you suddenly transform into Michael Scott. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Unless you're certain that you know all of the guests and their tastes, do not let your speech get off-color. Skip the dirty jokes, the suggestive remarks about the honeymoon, and the stories about the groom's ex-girlfriend. They probably aren't appropriate. This isn't a locker room. Even if the groom and his friends find them funny, the bride and her mother probably won't. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 1

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/etiquette/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
• ↑ Patrick Muñoz. Voice & Speech Coach. Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.
• ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/best-man-speech
• ↑ http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to/best-man-speech.html

About This Article

To write a best man's speech, try to keep your speech around 2-4 minutes so you don't lose everyone's attention. Start your speech by introducing yourself and saying how you know the groom and bride. Then, share a touching story about the groom and maybe even throw in a light-hearted joke. You should also compliment the bride as well as the bride and groom's relationship. Finally, wrap up your speech with a nice quote and propose a toast. To see examples of a best man's speech, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write a Best Man Speech – Ideas, Tips & Examples

Amanda Green was born in a small town in the west of Scotland, where everyone knows everyone. I joined the Toastmasters 15 years ago, and I served in nearly every office in the club since then. I love helping others gain confidence and skills they can apply in every day life.

Good news: Your best friend asked you to be his best man. Bad news: You don’t know what to say in a best man speech. Don’t worry; we have a couple of tips for you!

Writing a best man speech requires a lot of planning, revising, and practicing. Read on to learn some best man speech examples and tips. Learn how long it should be and what to include in your address.

What Is a Best Man Speech?

A best man speech is a speech or toast given by the groom’s best man at the wedding. It usually comes first before the maid of honor’s speech.

The best man , sometimes known as the best person for gender neutrality, is the groom’s right hand throughout the wedding. He assists the groom from the planning process to the wedding day. The best man also organizes the groom’s bachelor party.

The best man is typically the groom’s most trusted buddy. It can be his brother, a childhood friend, or the man who knows him best.

A best man speech is supposed to tell a story about the groom and newlyweds. It is finished by raising a final toast to their future. This speech is an opportunity to publicly share how you met the groom and why you think the bride is perfect for him.

How Long Should a Speech Be for a Best Man?

Your speech should only last three to five minutes. The average person speaks around 150 words per minute. If you write 6000 words for a speech, you’ll take approximately 45 minutes to address the crowd. Yikes.

Can We Write Your Speech?

Get your audience blown away with help from a professional speechwriter. Free proofreading and copy-editing included.

Less is more, trust me. You can only write a maximum of 750 words for your best man speech. Aim for a short and witty speech. Don’t make it too deep and complex, or you’ll bore the audience.

Best Man Speech Outline

Every essay or speech, no matter the subject, has three essential parts: introduction, body, and conclusion. But what should each paragraph contain? I’ll break down each section for you.

Introduction

The introduction should grab the audience’s attention. Here are some introduction ideas you can try.

Share How You Met the Groom

If the groom is your friend, there is a huge chance you are his closest friend. Your introduction speech can be your favorite story of how you met. If it’s a family member, talk about childhood memories, like how he was an annoying brother.

Crack a Joke

You can make a decent speech for the happy couple without boring the wedding guests. Try telling a funny story about the groom, a wedding pun, or a knock-knock joke.

One tip to being hilarious in your introduction is to keep a straight face while telling the joke. It makes them think and pay attention to your toast.

Introduce a Recurring Theme

Aside from making wedding speech jokes, you may also introduce the theme of the wedding day to serve as a good foundation for your best man speech. You may also choose one of your own that reflects your relationship with the groom and the relationship of the fantastic couple.

A common theme can make your inspirational and funny speech more coherent. For example, you can say, “The special couple is proof that opposites attract.”

Read a Definition From a Dictionary

Not everyone agrees with this speech opener idea, but defining a word related to the wedding can catch people’s attention. For example, you can define “loyal” and then talk about the groom becoming a loyal brother to you and a loyal partner to the bride.

Read Something in a Different Language

If you want to involve international family members, practice reciting your speech in their native language. Hire a translator who can help you transform your sentence into a different language.

Body Paragraph

The body paragraph contains detailed stories and thoughts about you and the groom and the couple.

Talk About Your Relationship With the Groom

Include one to three stories about how you met the groom and some favorite memories. This will captivate everyone and leave a strong impression.

Talk About the New Spouse

Whether you’re close with the spouse or not, it’s essential to talk about them, too. Consider why you think this person is perfect for the groom and how they complement the groom. You may also share your favorite memories with the bride.

Talk About the Marriage

The third body paragraph discusses why their marriage is excellent. What would you say is the most important value that the couple practices in marriage? Why are you glad that the two people chose each other to marry?

Finish With Your Conclusion

The ending of a best man speech is usually a wish or toast for the couple. Give the guests something to do, such as stand up and raise their glasses to the happy couple. Top it off by saying, “May you love and laugh together forever.”

Best Man Speech Tips

Consider these tips when learning how to write a best man speech.

One of the most crucial wedding speech tips is to plan. Once you’ve been invited to become a groom’s man before the bachelor party, start collecting amazing stories and jokes you want to include.

Planning is more crucial if you’re creating a joint speech with another best man. Brainstorm ideas and bring the stories together into one excellent anecdote. Remember that a memorable speech has a narrative arc. So, make sure to keep it cohesive.

You might also be encouraged to attend other events that will lead you to lose sight of time. Plan to avoid the pressure when writing the best man speech.

Introduce Yourself With a Twist

The introduction is an essential part of the wedding speech structure. One of the most convenient speech openers is introducing yourself to all the guests. While the groom’s friends and family might already know you, other people during the evening event might not.

Most speeches usually start with a “Good evening,” followed by “I am [name], [groom’s name]’s best friend, brother, and best man.” But you can make your self-introduction more interesting using a joke. Here, I’ll show what I mean in an example.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You’re probably at the wrong party if you’re at this event and still don’t know me. I am [name], the best friend of the groom, [groom’s name].”

Express Gratitude

Another tip for writing a star-studded speech is to step on the dance floor and thank the spectacular people in the event for joining. Thank the couple’s parents for raising extraordinary children. Then, thank the groom for being a loyal friend for life.

You can also throw in a few laughs by thanking the groom for having excellent taste in a groom’s man. Or have a one-liner thanking the bartender. These speech icebreakers will keep everyone listening to your toast. Here’s a good example showing what I mean.

“I’d like to thank everyone for being here with us today. Many of you have traveled for hours to participate in the couple [couple’s name] becoming one.”

Aside from introducing yourself, mentioning an inspirational quote, and thanking everyone, writing a best man speech also requires you to discuss your relationship with the groom. Discuss how you met him, how long you have known each other, and other stories.

Don’t forget to link this section to the partner to make it more meaningful. For example, the groom might be clumsy and messy all the time. Share how the bride is the complete opposite because she is more organized and neat.

Be careful about sharing embarrassing stories and crude jokes with the audience. Not everyone wants to hear about that one incident from your boys’ night out. Make sure to balance all the funny stories with narratives about the groom being a wonderful person.

If you are hiring a speech writing service, tell the writer about these personal stories to keep the speech relevant.

Below is an example of how to talk about your relationship with the groom.

“When I first met [groom], the love of his life was his Playstation 4. He would bring it to his room like a girlfriend and spend hours playing Call of Duty. [Groom’s name] loved me so much that he was willing to share his love with me.”

Focus on the Couple’s Relationship

Do not talk about your friendship with the groom longer than the relationship of the wedding couple. If you were there when the two met, share a story. Explain how you realized his significant other was “The One” for him.

You could also share how unexpected events and challenges only made them stronger. Your friend probably told you he was going to marry this woman one week into the relationship, and you thought he was crazy.

Share how the couple is such caring people toward you. If you’re his brother, they have probably taken care of you as a kid. Here’s a great example with more context.

“I’ve always known what [groom’s name]’s idea of a perfect partner is. He wants a beautiful, ambitious, caring woman who brings out the man in him. [bride’s name] ticks all the boxes. She even exceeds all expectations.”

Ask a Question to Answer Throughout

One way to write a speech in twenty minutes or less is to ask a question you will answer throughout the toast. Explore what you want the guests to know about the groom at the wedding party.

As you dive deeper into asking questions, don’t forget to tell amusing stories and insert quotes that fit the newlywed couple. This will make the glorious event more memorable for everyone.

Keep Your Best Man Speech Short and Sweet

You don’t need to write a long, bloody speech to get a standing ovation from the audience. Chances are, you’ve already taken a couple of shots during the event, so it will be challenging to give the speech from memory.

The best man’s speech is usually first in terms of wedding speech order. So, you don’t have a lot of time to prepare. Keeping it concise also prevents people from being restless in the following few speeches.

A good best man speech is around three to five minutes long. You can load your phone with wedding speech notes to avoid forgetting important parts.

Rhyme-Master Flex

Rhyming your sentences will keep everyone in the room interested in your speech. It will make you sound more poetic and intelligent, too! Consider this example.

“[name of bride and groom], I appreciate the chance

To speak on your special day.

After watching your first dance,

‘Love is real’ is all I can say.”

Finish Your Best Man Speech With Congratulations

The best way to cap off your speech is by congratulating the couple. Congratulate them on their big day and offer a toast to a happy marriage that will last for years. Make it witty, personal, or quotable.

It can be a line about relationships and love. It can also be a quote about a lifetime of happiness. Below is an example of a concluding sentence that congratulates the couple.

“The real adventure together starts today. I wish both of you make the most of every moment as husband and wife. Everyone, please help me celebrate this event by raising your glasses to [groom and bride].”

Practice With an Audience

As with every other type of speech, practicing your best man speech before the wedding is crucial. First, read the address out loud to yourself. This strategy will help you correct clarity issues and make humorous quotes more humorous.

Once you’ve edited the speech, read it to a friend and ask for their feedback. Once you get good feedback from a small circle, you’ll come out comfortably knowing you have a fantastic speech.

Limit Your Drinks

Don’t embarrass yourself by slurring during your best man speech. You can take one or two shots to ease the anxiety, but drinking too much can embarrass the couple and the crowd.

What to Avoid When Making a Best Man Speech

Some common sense will keep you out of trouble when making a best man speech. Make sure to avoid these.

Making Too Many Jokes

Making the audience laugh is cool. But doing it at the expense of the couple isn’t. Don’t tell too many inside jokes that other people won’t understand.

Making the Speech About Yourself

Remember that this is not your day. Don’t focus the speech on yourself unless you are explaining how you met the groom and bride.

Cracking Dirty Jokes

A wedding isn’t about smutty sex jokes. For some people, it’s a sacred day that doesn’t require you to go into elaborate details of PG scenarios.

Offending the Bride

Avoid sexist jokes that will offend the bride and their family. Say nice things about her. And focus on her personality besides her appearance.

Talking About Exes

Couples don’t want to hear about each other’s exes on the best day of their lives. The speech should be about them so as not to make everyone uncomfortable.

Best Man Speech Quotes

Here is a great variety of best man quotes to include in your speech.

Well-known and Inspiring Best Man Speech Quotes You Can Use

If I were writing this speech, I’d use one of these popular quotes from literature and culture like this: “As Oscar Wilde once said…” and then continue with whatever quote I chose.

“What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.” -AA Milne ”When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them and say ‘me too!’ be sure to cherish them. These people are your tribe.” -Anonymous “Who, being loved, is poor?” -Oscar Wilde “The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.” – Timothy Titcomb “There is only one happiness in life: To love and be loved.” -George Sand “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” -Emily Bronte “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” -Julia Child “The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.” -Rick Warren “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” -Martin Luther “You don’t marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can’t live without.” -Unknown

Romantic Wedding Speech

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get—only with what you are expecting to give—which is everything.” -Katharine Hepburn “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Dr. Seuss “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” -Maya Angelou “To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” -Robert Brault “Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” -Mark Twain

Funny Best Man Speech Quotes

“Never go to bed on an argument. Stay up and fight.” -Phyllis Diller “It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.” -Robert Frost “Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash.” -Joyce Brothers “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” -Will Ferrell “Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” -Mae West “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” -Albert Einstein “Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.” -Clint Eastwood “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” -Jerry Seinfeld

A Best Man Speech Example

Below is a short example of a best man speech.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am [your name], [groom]’s best friend and best man. Before I start, I want to say no flash photography, please!

[Groom] is a family friend of mine, although I first met him in dance lessons during high school. I’m not going to tell you he’s a bad dancer on this special day, but he moves like he has two left feet. We instantly became best of friends.

[Groom] and I have been through a lot together, including partying, problems, holidays, and, most of all, his wedding. Today has been such an emotional day that even the cake is in tiers.

In all seriousness, though, I have never seen [groom] as happy as he was with his Nintendo until he met the true love of his life, [bride].

[Bride] and [groom] fit each other like gloves. [Bride] is neat and organized, while [groom] is chaos personified. [Groom] is forgetful, while [bride] remembers all the small details, even the fact that [groom] did not reply to him on June 6th, 2019, at 5:13 PM.

[Groom], I am proud of you. We all are. After dating for [number of years together], you’re finally tying the knot with [bride], the love of your life.

I ask everyone to join me in a toast to the bride and groom’s future. May you build a loving home, share a lifetime of happiness, and hold hands in the journey of life.

Give the Best Best Man Speech

I hope this guide reduces your worries about writing your best man speech. This toast should be an opportunity to share your fond memories with the groom and why he and his bride are perfect for each other.

Keep the best man speech short and focus on the couple. Don’t forget to revise the speech as needed and get feedback from your friends.

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How Long Should A Best Man Speech Be?

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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

IDEAL SPEECH LENGTH

Richard Branson recently wrote, ‘ Most of what anybody has to say of great note can fit on one side of paper’  and while that’s true, your job isn’t just to pay a fitting tribute to the groom, it’s also to entertain a crowd. 

According to neuroscience and the studies behind the critically acclaimed TED Talks, 15 to 18 minutes is the ultimate sweet spot for a business pitch but let’s face it, you’re not trying to pitch the solution to climate change or explain why we dream. You’re just trying to make people laugh. A twenty-minute wedding speech is far too long and unfortunately, far too common. 

‘Remember, no one ever listened to a speech and said ‘I wish it was longer’, said Speechy’s Top Dog, Heidi Ellert-McDermott, when she was invited on to BBC Sounds ‘Best Men’ podcast with Jason Manford and Steve Edge.   Quite simply, less is more.

After years of writing wedding speeches, we’ve worked out that the sweet spot for a best man speech is between 1,100 and 1,300 words (about 10 minutes).

That’s enough to say everything you need to say, whilst not giving anyone the opportunity to say they have to nip to the bathroom halfway through. 

A speech that’s less than 1,300 words will ensure you can deliver your speech in just under 10 minutes – even allowing for all the laughter you’ll hopefully generate. (Check out our advice on how to make your speech funny  if you’re worried about that!)

Of course, as well as a maximum wordcount, the minimum wordcount we’d recommend for the best man speech is 750 words (about 6 minutes) and that’s only if you’ve been asked to keep it short. Anything less and the newlyweds might feel a little disappointed by your lack of effort.

The basic rule is a minimum of five minutes, and a maximum of ten – though in ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , wedding influencer Alison Hargreaves reminds us that ‘delivering a speech shouldn’t take longer than it does to consummate the marriage’. Depends on the groom I guess? 

Whatever the case – the key to delivering a good speech is to keep it punchy – from the overall narrative to every anecdote and every single line.

Here’s how… 

KEEP IT PUNCHY 

Got a great story but it takes a lot of explaining? Forget about it.  If it takes more than 100 words before you get the laughter, then the story isn’t one for the speech (maybe one for the bar later). 

Aim for punchy and sharp – not meandering and complex. 

Don’t forget you’re one of many speakers. Naturally, you want your speech to be the best, but you don’t want to be the prick who hogs the limelight. We’ve all been to those weddings where the speeches roll on into eternity. Guests are stuck watching their drinks run dry, attempting to mask those tummy rumbles as they eagerly await the main course. Don’t be the reason everyone sobers up.

Be ruthless with your editing. Even Ernest Hemingway reckoned ‘ The first draft of anything is shit’ so once you have your first draft, try your best to edit it in half. We promise, your speech will be better after a bit of brutality! 

When you’ve got a speech draft you’re happy with, time yourself as you rehearse it. If you come in well within the ten-minute limit, don’t make the mistake of thinking you have more time to play with and adding more to the speech necessarily. On the day, you’ll need to pause for laughter and emphasis so those minutes will quickly be gobbled up.

Read our How To Deliver A Wedding Speech blog to make sure pace your speech and land those punchlines perfectly. Or if you want to crack on and write your speech checkout our AI best man speech generator or best man template .

TIMING OVERVIEW (basic guide) 

• Hello and welcome. 45 sec. Introduce yourself, how you know the groom, and add some essential humour. Original humour not googled! To learn more read how to start a best man speech and best man speech opening lines
• Stories about the groom. 4-5 mins. Generally, you need about 3 or 4 good anecdotes about the groom that illustrate his character in action (British best men generally concentrate on his character flaws but not all best men do!).One cardinal rule remains – don’t mention exes. No matter how funny you think it might be, it isn’t. Read our best man speech advice
• Tribute to the groom’s partner – 1 min. And not a second less. Say more than the usual cliches about them looking nice and making the groom a better person. Show you know them a bit (and do a bit of research if you don’t!). Read making tributes
• Genuine tribute to the groom. 1 min. This is the bit where you get a bit teary eyed about your mate and say the sort of things you’d normally only utter at 3am in a kebab shop. Highlight his greatest attributes and show how much you value his as a friend. (Fine to include some humour in this section too, as you never want more than 30 seconds without a laugh).  Read best man speech examples
• Raise a toast to the couple. 45 secs. Back ref one of your stories or insights from earlier in the speech to make the toast, not only original but witty too – putting your speech in the premier league. 

CHECK OUT HOW SPEECHY CAN HELP YOU NAIL YOUR BEST MAN SPEECH BELOW! 

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team  are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

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